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Your favorite single reply on a DL thread

No long lists, please. What was the reply on a thread that really nailed it for you and deserved all the W&W that came its way? Tell us a wee bit about the thread and share that reply with us, please!

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by Anonymousreply 26006/29/2020

I'll start, as I just saw this one yesterday.

The thread was "Amy Winehouse died 8 years ago today. What does DL think of her?"

And reply 2 nailed it:

"Congrats on 8 years of sobriety, Amy!"

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by Anonymousreply 102/22/2020

Thread: "Were you close to someone who was murdered?"

"Yes. But, to be honest, we weren't that close." -- Mrs. Patsy Ramsey, formerly of Boulder, CO

That was the first post by Patsy on DL.

by Anonymousreply 202/22/2020

R2 We could probably have an entire thread with just Mrs. Patsy Ramsey replies!

by Anonymousreply 302/22/2020

No.

by Anonymousreply 402/22/2020

Don't open this can of worms. You'll have all the old queens and bitches who think they're witty and clever recounting their lame cunty nastiness.

by Anonymousreply 502/22/2020

Mrs. Patsy Ramsey was funny the first time but it's usually not all that funny.

by Anonymousreply 602/22/2020

Here is my favorite, in response to the query "How do you know if you have worms?"

[quote] Hard boil a doxen eggs and buy eleven lemon cookies. Each day shove a hard boiled egg up your ass, wait a few minutes and shove alemon cookie up your butt. On the twelfth day shove the last egg up your ass and when the worm comes out and says "Hey where's my lemon cookie" hit it on the head with a hmmer.

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by Anonymousreply 702/22/2020

Let's refocus and answer OP's call.

by Anonymousreply 802/22/2020

LOL R7

by Anonymousreply 902/22/2020

I will forever love this one, from the "The thread where we try an summon David Ehrenstein" from 2013.

Someone in the thread asked "Is/was he hot? What is his job? How did his name ever mean anything? Was he on Dynasty?"

Reply 64 made me laugh until I cried.

[quote] Yes, he had a long stint playing Dominique Devereaux, the most fabulous lounge chanteuse in all of Denver. He was, in a word, spectacular.

by Anonymousreply 1002/22/2020

Many of the replies in "Teresa Giudice sure has some ugly kids" brought me to tears. Sadly that thread was deleted a while back.

by Anonymousreply 1102/22/2020

"Was his anus clean?"

--Anne L. Lingus, MD

That joke's been funny since sixth grade and it's even funnier when it's made by an elderly gay man on Datalounge revisiting the humor of his childhood.

Right up there with "Did you present hole?" in terms of wit!

by Anonymousreply 1202/22/2020

This one's probably 15 or more years old, and I have no memory of the thread or its subject. But at that time the "as I type" siggy had really taken off.

I was in bed Datalounging myself to sleep, and saw this signature:

[quote]Bill Clinton, fucking as I type.

I. Lost. It. It's not even the most clever thing I've ever seen here, but I guess it was the mental image that did me in.

by Anonymousreply 1302/22/2020

The sky was so blue that day.

by Anonymousreply 1402/22/2020

Years ago, a New Yorker was going on about the cutest waiter they'd ever seen, AD NAUSEUM, until someone finally snapped,

"Mary, please. I'm not going all the way to the UES to look at some queen in an apron."

by Anonymousreply 1502/22/2020

!!!!!

by Anonymousreply 1602/22/2020

I think Jaclyn Smith needs an MRI!

[quote] My first cat was a shelter cat . I named her Bootsie Gum Drops.

by Anonymousreply 1702/23/2020

From a 2013 thread about A Nightmare on Elm Street Part 2.

I'll tell you how gay that fucking movie is. Prior to seeing that movie in November of 1985, I was a butch, rough, tough, pussy pounding, mean mother-fucking son of a bitch. 90 minutes later I was skipping through the lobby, lisping like Cindy Brady and I was sucking 14 dicks in a row in the parking lot. The Birdcage was Terminator 2 in comparison to Nightmare 2.

—Lance, formerly str8

by Anonymousreply 1802/23/2020

"Wolves and otters, theys my favorite"

by Anonymousreply 1902/23/2020

!!!!!

by Anonymousreply 2002/24/2020

[italic]Fat Whores, Rejoice !

by Anonymousreply 2102/24/2020

Meanwhile, R5 remains as dull and witless as ever, as hall monitor for a grey private voucher school in Omaha.

by Anonymousreply 2202/24/2020

Jackie On Assistance (Yes, I know it was inadvertent.)

by Anonymousreply 2302/24/2020

Whoever posted about Danny Thomas and referred to his show as "Make Boom for Daddy"

by Anonymousreply 2403/12/2020

Somebody wrote on “Celebrities Being Shoved Down Our Throats By the Entertainment Industry,” ... This title goes to Chalameh he can’t act and is homely but his team will market him as the next DiCaprio till the day they die.

That sums it up perfectly!

by Anonymousreply 2503/12/2020

I like to leave a little 'gift' in the elevator.

by Anonymousreply 2603/12/2020

r15- Was that the waiter in the bodega? He was Dominican or Cuban or Puerto Rican wasn't he? That was a great thread.

by Anonymousreply 2703/12/2020

Basically every post in the African Baby Catalogue thread.

by Anonymousreply 2803/12/2020

Saw this one today - Chet is the Hunter Biden of the Hanks family.

by Anonymousreply 2903/12/2020

Thread title: I LOVE MONSTER COCK

Reply: me flattered but me straight

Signed: Cookie

by Anonymousreply 3003/12/2020

I knew a girl who told me her favorite single reply. But then she died.

by Anonymousreply 3103/12/2020

It goes back years to a thread on detective novels. Someone posted something like "Of course Rita Mae Brown writes murder mysteries that are solved by a cat--she's the world's biggest lesbian! If she could get away with it, she'd give the cat a little cane to carry."

I lost it completely.

by Anonymousreply 3203/12/2020

Impacted bu coronavirus: cock sluts

by Anonymousreply 3303/12/2020

Qui état cette cunt?

by Anonymousreply 3403/12/2020

None of these are remotely funny. I guess you had to be there.

by Anonymousreply 3503/12/2020

OP, there are far too many to list.

There’s rarely a time I don’t get a good belly laugh out of DL when I read. We have some of the funniest, wittiest posters of any board I’ve ever seen.

by Anonymousreply 3603/12/2020

R4 The first few Let Me Tell You About Deb Messing threads were classic, for sure!

by Anonymousreply 3703/12/2020

sorry that should have been R34

by Anonymousreply 3803/12/2020

Would it have killed you to have at least posted a picture or link OP? Would it? I mean would that have really been that hard? Would it? Why don’t you try to think more of others next time before you post? Can you give us a straight answer? At least be honest for once in your life and tell us why you were so inconsiderate?

by Anonymousreply 3903/12/2020

On a thread about the best Agatha Christie's, someone posted that they bought a load of them in a Paris(?) Airport during a layover.

The next post calmly remarked:

How long before you realised they were all in French?

by Anonymousreply 4003/12/2020

In the "What is your SHORT example of how you grew up poor", r30 wrote:

"A neighbor ripped the antenna off of our car to beat a bill collector, we replaced it with a bent wire hanger. Our second hand radio goit stolen from the car and we kept the hanger where it was until we had to use it to open the car door because we locked the keys in it when we were at Kmart. "

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by Anonymousreply 4103/12/2020

I eat old people's excrement.

by Anonymousreply 4203/12/2020

What, nothing about the World Trade Center being a great bottom?

That’s my most memorable comment.

by Anonymousreply 4303/12/2020

One I remember: Someone said they went to a brunch or something with a friend, and some queen was over-filling his plate. His friend purred, "She just wants more and more".

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by Anonymousreply 4403/12/2020

[quote]...His face has a beautiful kind of Modigliani-esque quality to it. I've never seen such small eyes that could be so entrancing!

This post is so fucking MARY that three Portuguese peasant children fell to their knees in adoration upon reading it.

by Anonymousreply 4503/12/2020

I guess the very first time I saw someone reply that a poster had stated her boundaries.

by Anonymousreply 4603/12/2020

Commenting on Ryan Melchers looks (Doris Days grandson)

- He looks like a rehydrated Egyptian Mummy

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by Anonymousreply 4703/12/2020

In the thread ‘Roles Actors Turned Down’ someone mentioned Sigourney Weaver turned down the lead in The Piano.

Someone replied that they couldn’t imagine the six foot Weaver in the role.

And then r3 replied, “The original title was ‘The Grand Piano’.”

I’m still laughing. That definitely deserved a W&W

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by Anonymousreply 4803/12/2020

Love it R48

by Anonymousreply 4903/12/2020

In the thread "Why did Demi Moore's Career Go Straight Down the Shitter?"...

[quote]It was discovered that she couldn't act and was no longer married to Willis. She's acceptable in A Few Good Men and Ghost because her leading men were feminine. Oh, and she was a ginormous asshole. Almost as stupid as Mel Griffith. She demanded private planes for takeout deliveries, nannies for her nannies, assistants to watch her assistants and the best hair, makeup and wardrobe in the world. Then she forgot to be on time or give a performance.

[quote]Her voice was attractive for one half of a movie before it started to grate and she had one pretty eye that the other one didn't know about.

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by Anonymousreply 5003/12/2020

Great thread. Mining gold here.

by Anonymousreply 5103/12/2020

The thread was by the friend of Danny/Denny who was planning to visit NYC for the time with little money, no place to stay, and sporting a rolling suitcase. He planned on depending on the kindness of strangers aka tricks to get him through.

I have two favorites from this thread:

“that’s what Madonna does when she’s in town”

“We look forward to welcoming his corpse as it washes up on our shore. —- New Jersey “

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by Anonymousreply 5203/12/2020

A couple of years ago there was another interminable thread detailing the virtues (apparently few) and the vices (many) of life in Palm Springs. One poster was raving on and on about how they enjoyed the occasional Palm Springs spa weekend getaway as an antidote to the exhaustion of constantly jetting back and forth from New York to LA where they had a "winter base" working on "projects" in the '"industry" when someone else chimed in:

"Who the fuck are you, Michael Feinstein?"

by Anonymousreply 5303/12/2020

R53

It took you ten minutes to get to THAT??!!!

by Anonymousreply 5403/12/2020

R52 evoked one of my favourites. Under the heading "Suitcase full of body parts found in SF"...

You know, I thought I left my heart in San Francisco.

by Anonymousreply 5503/12/2020

I really liked this plea, during a thread about evangelism:

Why is it that those who are Born Again are always the ones you wish hadn't been born even once?

by Anonymousreply 5603/12/2020

We wouldn't have to do this if we had a Wit & Wisdom hall of fame.

by Anonymousreply 5703/12/2020

On the linked DL thread, Poster # 290 said:

[quote] I typically get a bonus of six figures and I'm not even a rich person.

Poster # 291 said:

[quote] The ones after the decimal point don’t count.

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by Anonymousreply 5803/12/2020

From the "Are You Related to Anyone Famous" Thread...

I am Mrs. Norman Maine.

by Anonymousreply 5903/12/2020

Much more of a group effort, but the Elite Thanksgiving thread had some pretty funny material.

More a shared short story than a series of replies, though.

by Anonymousreply 6003/12/2020

A while ago someone wrote that Tori Spelling still looks like a mudskipper, despite having all of that work performed on her face. I had no idea what a mudskipper was back then but when I googled it I almost fell out of my chair laughing: it totally looks like Tori, with those weird bulging eyes.

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by Anonymousreply 6103/12/2020

(From the active thread linked [all I can remember!]):

Coronavirus is not a bad people’s disease Rose!

—Blanche

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by Anonymousreply 6203/12/2020

The Butt-hurt Redundant Thread Copycat @ r39 who cuts and pastes his screed was never funny and never will be. He just proves us right that he’s pollution on this site.

I hope the toxic turd dies in a vat of sarcastic Vivian Vances who also think they’re hilarious.

by Anonymousreply 6303/13/2020

You’re welcome, r47.

The rehydrated mummy was mine! 😁

by Anonymousreply 6403/13/2020

Following up from R62, in one of the GG threads, someone commented in reference to Dorothy's wedding gown:

"Wardrobe by Georgia-Pacific."

by Anonymousreply 6503/13/2020

The person who measured someone's insufferableness in units of Paltrows, something like "it could be worse; she's only 7 Paltrows out of a possible 10."

by Anonymousreply 6603/13/2020

Ah hell, I already mentioned that back on a thread about this very topic a little over a year ago.

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by Anonymousreply 6703/13/2020

Whoever coined snack purse. Or the get out of the sweep of my caftan. Or anything Morgellons.

by Anonymousreply 6803/13/2020

On one of the older housewives threads, the prospect of Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner joining the show had several posters coining an opening catchphrase for him. My favorite was: I'm shopping for a cunt. Looks like I've come to the right place.

by Anonymousreply 6903/13/2020

Thank you all. We need the laughs right now.

by Anonymousreply 7003/13/2020

I laugh from cold maw of SPACE!

by Anonymousreply 7103/13/2020

Ok. Who came up with "snack purse"?

The first time I remember seeing it - and laughing like crazy - was in a post that was partially titled "Not Without My Snack Purse".

But I assume someone wrote it earlier.

by Anonymousreply 7203/13/2020

Our snack purse hero makes an appearance on this thread. I think it started in late 2018?

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by Anonymousreply 7303/13/2020

R54 in that thread said it. He wins all the WWs

by Anonymousreply 7403/13/2020

I can't remember the exact thread but some militant person was chiding dataloungers for not doing enough to stop some anti- gay marriage bill, telling them they should be out in the streets protesting "in bulletproof caftans".

by Anonymousreply 7503/13/2020

One of my favorites was in a thread about Jennifer Lien, the troubled former [italic]Star Trek: Voyager[/italic] actress with a string of arrests, when someone said her mugshot looked like a forensic sculpture.

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by Anonymousreply 7603/13/2020

R76 !!! omg it does

by Anonymousreply 7703/13/2020

I confess to having kept favourite quotes over the years, so I now have a big collection. Here are some more favourites:

Things parents tell their kids to make them feel better - "Of course you're not adopted. We wouldn't pick you on purpose."

From a thread called I Just Had Hot Fireman Sex, where OP noted "Me and the firestud were just staring each other down", the killer reply was "He was probably in awe that in all his years as a firefighter, he'd never seen anything that flaming."

And this eulogy for the [then] recently departed Michael Jackson: "Seemed to me he lived his life like a candle in the wind: all waxy and melty and slowly deformed."

by Anonymousreply 7803/16/2020

R78 Bwah!

by Anonymousreply 7903/16/2020

I Aretha (Hateretha) replies were some of my faves. Like the "Etta James is Dead to Me" thread. She appears at r3 with a simple "At Last!"

by Anonymousreply 8003/16/2020

I’m so proud I made one person’s list. And with not even one I would consider my “better ones.”

It really does make you feel good.

(OK, I have no life.)

by Anonymousreply 8103/16/2020

When Miss Warwick said Diana Ross owed her entire solo career to the five words, "Oh, Berry! It's too big!"

by Anonymousreply 8203/16/2020

R75 Someone once made the same comment about Huckabee Sanders. I can't unsee it now.

by Anonymousreply 8303/16/2020

R76. pardon

by Anonymousreply 8403/16/2020

R82 yes, that was a classic

by Anonymousreply 8503/16/2020

You want some more? (Please note that "R1" does not necessarily denote the right number the reply was on the original thread.)

This OP posted a photo labelled "Male Perfection" and followed up with, "I challenge you to find even ONE flaw." The response was quick: "Please... this is Datalounge... you may as well challenge any of us to breathe."

NYC - 14 People Shot In A Single Day R1: Give us a break OP. It was the first warm day of the year. Many of us haven't even taken our guns out of winter storage yet.

The Beatles Were Bi R1: Paul was/is too much of a pussy hound to have ever been bi. It's a known fact that, especially in the early days, he was pretty much fucking everything on two legs with a vagina. R2: Then eventually moved on to anything with ONE leg and a vagina.

Double Life - Do you have one? R1: Two lives? Most of the people here don't even have ONE.

Body of Bikini Model Found Stuffed in Suitcase R1: Son of Samsonite did it.

In a similar vein: Murder at the Dog Show! OP said "Someone's been feeding the Irish Setter poisoned meat cubes at the world's most prestigious dog show Crufts. The Kennel Club is looking into reports that six dogs may have been poisoned at Crufts, as owners suggested more than one poisoner may have been on the loose.” R1: There's a serial killer on the loose! by: The Yorkshire Terrier Ripper

by Anonymousreply 8603/18/2020

In a thread in which someone said he baked a cake, someone answered "I like cak"

I responded, "Cak? What are you, three years old?"

and someone else responded, "Liza, is that you?"

Also, I don't remember the original post, probably something about a man doing or saying something dumb, but the response was, "Why are me so stupid?" Which became a DL staple for years.

by Anonymousreply 8703/18/2020

In the thread for post-WH employment options for Sarah Sanders, someone said the NRA should hire her; they could make good use of her... for target practice.

by Anonymousreply 8803/18/2020

[quote] Also, I don't remember the original post, probably something about a man doing or saying something dumb, but the response was, "Why are me so stupid?" Which became a DL staple for years.

It was "Why are straight me so stupid?"

by Anonymousreply 8903/18/2020

Sometimes I go into threads I have absolutely no interest in the topic just to read some of the responses.

by Anonymousreply 9003/18/2020

One of my favorites was on the Cruise Ship Tot Drop Pop. When discussing the funeral someone chimed in with “please don’t let him be a pallbearer!”

by Anonymousreply 9103/18/2020

My favorites are in the Frau threads because the guys who complain about them inevitably reveal that they, themselves, are Karens - which often leads to hilarity. “The Hallmark channel is their porn.” Such projection.

by Anonymousreply 9203/18/2020

One of those Sumerian threads was about their film industry, and someone posted, "In discussing Sumerian films, "pre-Code" means "before Hammurabi."

by Anonymousreply 9303/18/2020

This was many years ago.

The thread was entitled: "The Anniversary of the Death of the People's Princess is the SADDEST DAY EVER!!!"

Tequila Mockingbird was R1: "Crying as I type . . . ."

by Anonymousreply 9403/18/2020

One that always cracked me up:

"Lesbianism MOST FOUL!"

by Anonymousreply 9503/18/2020

Remember the person fleeing New Orleans in a car during Hurricane Katrina who posted, "I'm evacuating as I type."

by Anonymousreply 9603/18/2020

[quote]"I'm evacuating as I type."

One of Mrs Patrick Campbell's tricks posted that.

by Anonymousreply 9703/18/2020

Not Erna's?

Or are they the same person?

by Anonymousreply 9803/18/2020

[quote]"I'm evacuating as I type."

Didn't Tommi DiDario post that as he was taking one of his innumerable selfies whilst perched atop his toilet?

by Anonymousreply 9903/18/2020

R98 Mrs Patrick Campbell was the name of that poster for well over a decade.

But, apparently, it was a play on his real name, so he changed it to "Erna."

by Anonymousreply 10003/18/2020

Oh my god some of these are gold! Thank you all for posting. I needed the laughs after the last week.

by Anonymousreply 10103/18/2020

Why didn't Karen Carpenter Get Cast in Grease?

Someone posted a picture of her days before death with a fro and a hideous outfit captioning "Tell me about it, stud." I laughed the ENTIRE day.

by Anonymousreply 10203/18/2020

I always love the posts on any Karen Carpenter thread from Anna Wintour: "She could afford to lose a few."

by Anonymousreply 10303/18/2020

R102 that is SO awful and SO mean!!!!!!!

by Anonymousreply 10403/18/2020

Ugh, I just searched that thread and some troll got rid of that post! It was R31.

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by Anonymousreply 10503/18/2020

BYE FUGLICIA

by Anonymousreply 10603/18/2020

Spaz Troll on the thread.

by Anonymousreply 10703/18/2020

[quote]hit it on the head with a hmmer.

A very late Oh Dear.

by Anonymousreply 10803/18/2020

On the Chris Cuomo thread just recently was this beauty after someone said he had kids that were on the internet all the time;

[quote] Well, then, Chris Cuomo's kids: YOUR DAD IS A SWEET PIECE OF ASS WITH A BIG FAT FUCKIN' COCK AND WE'D ALL SEED HIS JUICY MANCUNT.

Now go to bed, kids!

by Anonymousreply 10903/19/2020

This one:

[quote]Picturing soon a naked, ugly nerd in a leg cast shuffling away from OP’s lair as fast as he can whilst being trailed by an Orson Welles lookalike in a mauve caftan on a Rascal with a matted-up old Lhasa Apso in the front basket.....trailed by the FBI, alerted by an alarmed DL frau.

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by Anonymousreply 11003/19/2020

Just this morning, in the thread about someone being fucked by an immigrant convenience store cashier and then asked to pay for subsequent hookups, one poster replied "No free refills!" I badly needed that laugh.

R80, I'm an Etta James fan and that is awful, but even I have to admit it's also hilarious.

by Anonymousreply 11103/19/2020

It was a comment in the "Damn, Teresa Guidice has some ugly kids" thread.

[quote]The female stares quizzically back at the camera surrounded by her young. Her mate, the old silverback, has just left her for another female".

The picture they captioned was a mag cover of Teresa, staring quizzically, surrounded by her simian looking kids. I busted a gut over that one with tears streaming.

There was another in the Crabwalking lesbians thread where someone posted something like "you think that's bad? My bf insists he's a vampire and levitates. I just hand him a swiffer and tell him to dust the chandelier. He might as well be useful"...for some reason that one hit my funny bone because it's something that I would do in that situation.

by Anonymousreply 11203/19/2020

The Dialing the Phone with a Pencil thread had some truly hilarious replies.

by Anonymousreply 11303/19/2020

Re; 32 did it for me.

by Anonymousreply 11403/19/2020

From the Bradley Cooper made Irina Shayk cry at Wimbledon thread: Apparently, she was seen wiping away tears after he whispered something in her ear. He looked happy as a clam, but she was pretty dour. What could he have said to her?

reply 9 quoting Hannibal Lecter will always be my favourite:

"You know what you look like to me, with your good bag and your cheap shoes? You look like a rube. A well scrubbed, hustling rube with a little taste. Good nutrition's given you some length of bone, but you're not more than one generation from collective farm trash, are you, Irina? And that accent you've tried so desperately to shed: pure Ukranian steppe. What is your father, dear? Is he a ploughman? Does he stink of the wheat? You know how quickly the boys found you... all those tedious sticky fumblings in the back seats of Moskvitches... while you could only dream of getting out... getting anywhere... getting all the way to Wimbledon."

by Anonymousreply 11503/22/2020

[quote] I had no idea what a mudskipper was back then but when I googled it I almost fell out of my chair laughing: it totally looks like Tori, with those weird bulging eyes.

A similar thing happened to me when someone likened princess beatrice to a tarsier 😂😂

by Anonymousreply 11603/22/2020

[quote] I had no idea what a mudskipper was back then but when I googled it I almost fell out of my chair laughing: it totally looks like Tori, with those weird bulging eyes.

A similar thing happened to me when someone likened princess beatrice to a tarsier 😂😂

by Anonymousreply 11703/22/2020

On the thread today about Sam Smith having a breakdown in isolation...

'He is such a theyby'.

by Anonymousreply 11803/22/2020

Response to a newbie on a thread about Sunset Boulevard: *sigh*. If we really have to explain it to you you might as well start fucking women.

by Anonymousreply 11903/22/2020

From an old thread about Lisa Whelchel's use of hot sauce as "creative correction":

[quote]She put some on my wectum. I scweamed!

[quote]—B. Walters

by Anonymousreply 12003/22/2020

LOL AT R120 now I'm sore from laughing

by Anonymousreply 12103/22/2020

Bumpitybumpbump

by Anonymousreply 12203/22/2020

I don't remember the exact thread title, but it had something to do with "My Biggest Regret In Life." One response was "Carrying to term" and it was signed "Blythe Danner."

by Anonymousreply 12303/22/2020

LOL R123 I remember that. That one landed on the W&W wall.

by Anonymousreply 12403/23/2020

When Ariel Castro's victims were found in his basement someone wrote:

"When they see what's become of Cleveland they'll want to go back in."

by Anonymousreply 12503/23/2020

From one of the innumerable threads savaging Sarah Sanders's looks:

[quote]It's like her face got tired of being a face.

From "Damn, Teresa Giudice has some ugly kids":

[quote]The youngest one looks like a bookie in Bayonne I once owed money to.

From some thread about costume design in Golden Age Hollywood:

[quote]My neighbor just banged on my wall and yelled at me to turn down the gay.

by Anonymousreply 12603/23/2020

"Martha Stewart couldn't be a bigger lesbian if she did her entire show with a lady sitting on her face!"

by Anonymousreply 12703/23/2020

Another funny Martha-related DL post happened when someone complained that some other DL poster called him a fat yeast-infected cunt, because he admitted to using a lemon extract instead of lemon peel in some recipe.

Someone replied to him: "Martha never talked like that before prison"

by Anonymousreply 12803/23/2020

How did I miss this thread .......

too much social distancing from my tablet.

by Anonymousreply 12903/23/2020

There was a thread dealing with proper table manners. Someone complained that his friend would casually reach over and snatch tidbits off other diners' plates at family-and-friend meals. One DLer suggested, "Wait until he does it again, and very loudly say, 'oh, look, everyone, Miss Helen Keller has joined us!' "

by Anonymousreply 13003/23/2020

Thanks for this thread.

I've needed the LOLs.

by Anonymousreply 13103/23/2020

I love that people are providing context too and not just saying the line.

Without a setup it could fall flat.

by Anonymousreply 13203/23/2020

"The Sound of Music Live" thread had some hilarious replies. DLers were eviscerating Carrie Underwood's performance only minutes after the broadcast started. Someone wrote "How can you judge an acting performance in only 12 minutes?" to which someone replied:

"Honey, it's Datalounge! We can judge an acting performance AND hand out the awards in 12 seconds and still have time to light a cigarette."

by Anonymousreply 13303/23/2020

This is really why I miss when WW's were on the "front page" or had their own "wall."

So fun to read those.

by Anonymousreply 13403/23/2020

My favourite reply from the Sound of Music thread:

"Have you SEEN what the real Maria Von Trapp looked like? Let's just say I can believe schnitzel with noodles were some of her favorite things."

by Anonymousreply 13503/24/2020

From 'Queen to have a "quiet word" with Meghan to "help her avoid further PR blunders“ - What do we think THE QUEEN will say, DL?'. Impious but brilliant:

[quote] “It would upset one so if there were to be another tragedy as what befell poor Harry’s mother.”

In one of the countless monster cock threads there was this absolute gem of raging horniness conveyed through flowery imagery:

[quote] That's a WHOLE LOTTA NOODLE going on down there. I would love to have my nose buried in his fragrant bush while I nursed on his noodle. —HEAVEN!

But my all-time favorite was this one. I don't remember the topic of the thread, and I have no idea who Marlo Thomas is, but it made me cry with laughter for half an hour straight.

[quote]Marlo Thomas' pussy queefs constantly as she walks, so she's learned to toss her head back and laugh randomly - in that way she has... Which comes out sounding like some kind of crunching styrofoam noise, because of her compulsive comestic nose surgeries she's had over the years to reduce the size of her honker and that have damaged her sinus cavities and her voice... All in an attempt to cover the queefing noise....

Oftentimes it's not the particularly well-phrased replies that crack me up, but the completely absurd ones; those that make me wonder, 'How the hell did someone come up with THAT?!'

by Anonymousreply 13603/24/2020

Just today, in a thread about an Arizona deplorable who died after drinking fish tank cleaner because he thought it contained a coronavirus antidote, a DLer asked, "What was on his banjo?" I damn near peed myself.

by Anonymousreply 13703/24/2020

This just happened yesterday and already ranks as one of my favorites.

While discussing the economic stimulus package, people were saying they would get this, they wouldn’t get that, etc. etc. Then came this response which made me bust a gut from laughing:

[quote]I got a rock.

[quote]—Charlie Brown

I still laugh when I just think of it.

by Anonymousreply 13803/25/2020

I don’t get it R137...

by Anonymousreply 13903/25/2020

Are you new here, r139?

I’m not being snarky, but the only way you wouldn’t get that is if you were new here.

by Anonymousreply 14003/25/2020

Another Miss Warwick comment to someone who was hassling her about her language.

"Sure, bitch. You're one of those people who wouldn't say "shit" if you didn't have mouthful."

by Anonymousreply 14103/25/2020

Way too many to list.

But this one from March 2019 : **BREAKING** Cruise ship evacuated off the coast of Norway"

"I'd be shoving crab legs and desserts into my pie hole."

caused tears in my eyes from laughing so hard.

by Anonymousreply 14203/25/2020

For a priceless thread title:

Chrissy Metz part 4: The Wrath of Pon

by Anonymousreply 14303/25/2020

When commenting on Sara Sander's new makeup someone noted her "smokey eye looked more like a burning tire"

by Anonymousreply 14403/25/2020

THREAD "Coronavirus is Spread by Feces."

R1: "RIP, Erna"

by Anonymousreply 14503/26/2020

In the new thread about Mayor Pete having a beard:

"Big deal! I've had a beard for 35 yrs."

Signed - Mike Pence

by Anonymousreply 14603/26/2020

In an early coronavirus thread:

The ban only applies to gatherings of 250 or more, so Janet Jackson remains unaffected.

by Anonymousreply 14703/26/2020

A thread where people posted audio tracks.

In one, "Julie Andrews" sang selections from her banned album "Julie, the Racist Years."

"A boy in the field gives me a look that's not rude -- but bold!

Next day, his mother discovers: He's sold!

Theres are a few of my slavery things!

Bull whips and shackles as they flee lynch mobs,

The woebegotten pickin' cotton -- for free! -- as their jobs!

Theses are a few of my slavery things.

When segregation ends.

When the Voting Rights Act is passed,

I simply remember my slavery things,

And then I knoooooooooooow

Jim Crow will laaaaaaaaaaaast!"

by Anonymousreply 14803/26/2020

Also on that audio threat, Cheryl sang this song:

"My pussy stinks.

It really do.

My boyfriend thinks,

It smells like poo.

It's hard to get cock,

When the seagulls flock."

by Anonymousreply 14903/26/2020

You're "special" aren't you r148, r149?

by Anonymousreply 15003/27/2020

ahem

by Anonymousreply 15103/28/2020

From the deleted [italic] Things Patsy Ramsey Said to the Police That Morning[/italic] thread:

Can we have ONE conversation in this house that doesn't become all about HER?

by Anonymousreply 15203/28/2020

Don’t be clearing your throat on THIS thread, r151. Spreadin your germs and whatnot all over some of DL’s classics.

Go get yourself and tissue dammit.

by Anonymousreply 15303/28/2020

"It's WATER, Helen."

The proposed title of the musical version of "Miracle Worker" and it still makes me giggle.

by Anonymousreply 15403/28/2020

"Oh, please do and take pictures. Don't forget the Aloe Vera for the inevitable burns." - when an OP asked if he should have a Margarine Fountain at a cookout. Still my favorite thread and the one that got me to DL in the first place somehow.

"Well, that didn't go well." - another OP who had just Had Sex with Jani Layne and was giving us live updates post-coital. The rocker was passed out asleep and we encouraged OP to wake him up. Which he did -- to screams of "GET OUUUUT!"

by Anonymousreply 15503/28/2020

[quote]"It's WATER, Helen."

The proposed title of the musical version of "Miracle Worker" and it still makes me giggle.

Thanks R154 that was me!

by Anonymousreply 15603/28/2020

On the Kobe death thread, someone commented: "I feel so broken right now."

Someone responded: "Well, so does Kobe."

by Anonymousreply 15703/28/2020

In the same vein, R157, there's this:

Steve Jobs Movie Flops

R23: But wasn't Jobs a cold person?

R 24: Not sure but you can bet he is now.

by Anonymousreply 15803/29/2020

If you could go back in history and help one person, who would it be? What would you say?

R1. I'd go back and help Anne Frank. I'd tell her that hairstyle really doesn't work for her.

by Anonymousreply 15903/29/2020

I loved the various Constance McCashin comments, where she was always snacking.

by Anonymousreply 16003/29/2020

My all time favorite appeared in this thread...

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 16103/30/2020

It's the final comments on this page...

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 16203/30/2020

Thanks for a lot of laughs, R156. I hope you have or are pursuing a comedy writing career. Hollywood needs you.

by Anonymousreply 16303/30/2020

R154's contribution makes me think of another DL game we could play. It's from the book The Art of Course Acting, which recounts an amateur production in which the Messenger ran on one night during the Scottish Play and shouted, "The Queen, my Lord, is not dead!"

The game is how pithily, and preferably how early in the plot, can you foil the entire plot of a play, novel or movie by distorting or interpolating a line. (Another example from the same book is, "Thank you, Professor Higgins. I find that after one lesson I can speak perfectly.")

Is that worth a thread?

by Anonymousreply 16403/30/2020

[R164] Yes!

by Anonymousreply 16503/30/2020

"Funny, you don't look like a policeman."

"Put the key back under the rug before you leave." "I think I'd rather replace it before I ENTER."

"I see dead people, GET IT?!"

by Anonymousreply 16603/30/2020

Go jump in the toilet

by Anonymousreply 16703/30/2020

My favorite Sinead O' Connor song, [R167]!

by Anonymousreply 16803/30/2020

WTF?

How did a great thread get derailed?

Create your own thread for that stupid “game.”

by Anonymousreply 16903/31/2020

TOPIC "Ways people you know have killed themselves."

RESPONSE: "By talking back to her mother." -- Patsy Ramsey

by Anonymousreply 17003/31/2020

"Welcome to Datalounge-- where the weak are killed and eaten like a child at Disney."

In response to someone complaining about the irreverent jokes about the Disney Alligator incident.

by Anonymousreply 17103/31/2020

On the thread about "DL's Favorite Detective Novels" - "The Murders in the Rue McClanahan.

by Anonymousreply 17203/31/2020

I can't remember the reply but someone on the Theatre Gossip thread signed their post "Steve [Sondheim], winking but you can't tell."

by Anonymousreply 17303/31/2020

Someone wrote, re: Oprah: "It seems like she gained a lot of weight, but then she lost it."

The reply: "I think you just summarized Oprah's life story in one sentence."

It made me sad, but it also made me laugh.

by Anonymousreply 17403/31/2020

OK, I've tried not to respond to this thread because I wanted to quote a few replies from a certain classic DL thread but I couldn't find just one or two or three or four I wanted to repeat. And the topic is single reply. But finally I just decided to link the entire thread. "Dog Fucks Baby Up the Ass!"

At first, there is snark, but disbelief at the news article OP posted from the small local family paper OP quoted, since there is no detail. And it gets hysterical. No one believes the original news article OP posted nor do the commenters at the original article. But as the thread goes on, other papers finally publish the details that make the the original story believable. The thread explodes.

First reply: That's why they call it doggie style.

Total DL classic. Start and just keep reading:

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 17503/31/2020

Oh, God, r175. That was one of my favorites. Was it really 13 years ago? I was Cesar Millan:

[quote]No, ju must take control! Ju can't let the dog just decides when he gonna fuck the baby! Ju got to be the pack leader and give him PERMISSION!

[quote]Ju make him sit...and siiiittt...and siiiiitttt. That's a good boy. All right! NOW you can fuck the baby!

[quote]That's how ju teach a dog to fuck a baby!

by Anonymousreply 17603/31/2020

OMG SO AWFUL

by Anonymousreply 17703/31/2020

Shouldn’t the boy & his mother be exploited once more by appearing on Dr Philth.

by Anonymousreply 17803/31/2020

Someone on here said that Fred Armisen looked like a frog receiving surprise anal, and I’ve been hooked ever since. I think that was 2015?

by Anonymousreply 17903/31/2020

R30 love it

by Anonymousreply 18003/31/2020

The water Helen bit was done by South Park in 2001 or so. They did a musical and the opening song was “Water Helen, water!” So no, R156, you most likely did not come up with that....unless you’re Trey Parker of Matt Stone.

by Anonymousreply 18103/31/2020

R181 Does Helen actually sing in this musical?

by Anonymousreply 18203/31/2020

THREAD: "Things Mrs. Patsy Ramsey Said to the Police That Morning"

POST: "The bad news: My precious angel has been viciously murdered. The good news: Everyone in our sister act can now do a kick-ball-change."

by Anonymousreply 18303/31/2020

In a thread about chopsticks R15 was all in favour, but I whooped at the rejoinder:

R15: I've watched too many people chasing a pea around a plate with a fork.

R20: What an interesting hobby, [R15].

by Anonymousreply 18403/31/2020

I don’t recall the thread and can’t find a link, but an astute DLer once commented on one of the interminable Troll-threads for Jeremy Renner stangurls that the man in question has “a face like a cat’s ass”. I’ve never forgotten it, and I can’t see his face or hear his name without thinking immediately of it.

by Anonymousreply 18504/03/2020

I remember the poster whose boyfriend put a porcelain clown figurine in the bathroom.

"Can't shit. Clown will eat me."

I don't know why I thought that was so funny.

by Anonymousreply 18604/03/2020

R186

That is a bit from the Simpsons where Homer made Bart a bed with a big clown face.

“Can’t sleep! Clown’ll eat me!”

by Anonymousreply 18704/03/2020

R182

The episode is called The Miracle Worker. Helen doesn’t sing. She grunts wah tur wah tur. The townspeople ding:

She did it! She did it! Water! Water water!

Water Helen, water!

We can’t believe she did it! The dumb kid really did it!

Water Helen, water!

by Anonymousreply 18804/03/2020

R185 That may have been me, I use that expression a lot!

by Anonymousreply 18904/03/2020

There was an earthquake in Palm Springs a while back. Someone posted:

"Big earthquake here in Palm Springs. Mom was holding on for dear life, but she's 93 so she usually is."

by Anonymousreply 19004/03/2020

[quote]The water Helen bit was done by South Park in 2001 or so. They did a musical and the opening song was “Water Helen, water!” So no, [R156], you most likely did not come up with that....unless you’re Trey Parker of Matt Stone.

I have no reason to doubt that they did and I'm sure you're correct. But I've never seen a complete episode of Southpark. I honestly came up with it myself. It is one of the two things I've thought of that took off here. The other is "Helenesque" which was from that same Helen Lawson thread.

Ok, done humble bragging. Have a good weekend!

by Anonymousreply 19104/03/2020

Someone posted a glowing tribute to Glenn in Sunset Boulevard in 1994 LA. They praised her for carrying on during a mini-earthquake.

Someone then offered that this wasn't an earthquake, it was Rosie O'Donnell filming The Flintstones nearby and running up a hill.

by Anonymousreply 19204/04/2020

I love this response for its ability to evoke a time and place. So much so that I saved it.

Thread was "Re: Tab soda and the 70’s diet craze". Response 85:

Where do I start?

My mother subsisted on Tab and Parliament cigarettes; it was the '70s. Every morning she awoke before our family awoke to prepare us for our day, every day. She wasn't a 'Coffee Drinker'; she was a 'Tab Drinker.' When we awoke to prepare for work/school/our day, we'd find her at the kitchen table (obviously already awake for hours), engrossed in her NY Times Crossword Puzzle, with her lit Parliament 100 lounging in its huge glass ashtray; her iced Tab sparkling away in its 16-ounce glass tumbler: the perfect marriage.

There she sat in her faded house dress, legs tucked under her, pink sponge rollers decorating her hair, pencil poised, while silently focusing on formulating a 14-letter synonym for 'Introspection' ('Thoughtfulness'); then she'd smile: Happiness.

Saturday mornings we'd find her enjoying/contemplating the same characteristics (introspection/thoughtfulness/ - the perfect marriage/happiness): she'd be silently tending to her precious Neon Tetras, though with three Parliament 100s glowing at once, in various locations throughout the house, with her sparkling Tab(s) nearby to keep her company. Upon our clumsy arrival into the family room for Saturday morning cartoons, she'd jump up to hug us, her faded housedress swirling about her too-thin frame, with her pink-sponge rollers dancing about her head. She'd smile, laugh aloud, while kissing us on our precious, innocent foreheads.

Happiness.

by Anonymousreply 19304/04/2020

“Tom Cruise’s butt plug” In response to “Create your own ‘gayer than...’” thread.

by Anonymousreply 19404/04/2020

You type fat.

by Anonymousreply 19504/04/2020

Do bottoms end up in diapers?

Depends.

by Anonymousreply 19604/04/2020

R3 : “It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s ... well, at least it wasn’t a plane.”

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 19704/04/2020

[Quote] three Parliament 100s glowing at once, in various locations throughout the house,

Update: The house burned down with my mother inside.

by Anonymousreply 19804/04/2020

Someone posted a video of Vanessa Redgrave recreating Isadora Duncan being choked to death by a big red scarf caught in the wheels of her car.

Some below posted "White would have brought out her eyes more".

by Anonymousreply 19904/04/2020

That could have been my mom described in R193

by Anonymousreply 20004/04/2020

This one tonight in the "Take Me Seriously, Dammit" roles that Failed:

First reply:

"Meghan Markle - Duchess of Sussex"

by Anonymousreply 20104/04/2020

Against all expectations, "Last Airbender" is a huge hit

Well, for once that's a twist to an M. Night Shyamalan movie no one saw coming.

by Anonymousreply 20204/06/2020

[quote]Many of the replies in "Teresa Giudice sure has some ugly kids" brought me to tears.

Ugly in Pink

by Anonymousreply 20304/06/2020

To my surprise, I have 31 WW’s for my own response that is on a thread that is active right now, and I didn’t even know there were 31 people here! I hope it’s ok to like my own comment.

[quote] OP: What do all of you morons who were spewing “the flu is just as bad” have to say now?

[quote] Respondent 1: Does your insufferable smugness contribute anything to the situation, OP, or is it just a way for you to feel a little bit less like a nothing for a few minutes?

[quote] Me: OP’s smugness is perfectly sufferable, and I support him.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 20404/09/2020

The first response in the thread "So This Quarantine We Have Going On Could Last As Long As 12 to 18 Months". You have to read the OP's entire post first.

by Anonymousreply 20504/09/2020

^Here is the link for R205

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 20604/09/2020

I did not like Heath Ledger in his role as “Joker.”

I don’t know why I love that so much.

by Anonymousreply 20704/09/2020

The first time I read - you type fat.

So funny.

by Anonymousreply 20804/09/2020

"Which one is he Sherlock, Loki or the Elf King from the hobbit"? posted by someone in an old Tom Hiddleston thread.

by Anonymousreply 20904/12/2020

I heard that the World Trade Center is an insatiable bottom.

And, Why are straight me so stupid?

by Anonymousreply 21004/12/2020

On an I Love Lucy thread:

This thread and others make me think that Datalounge is basically a secret underground civilization of people who have never seen the actual world above. The only clues they have to it are some ancient videotapes of the complete series of "I Love Lucy" and "The Golden Girls," and they watch these over and over again, obsessing about them, going over every last detail, and wondering just how life in the sunlit world above can possibly correspond to the details of what they're seeing on the holy videotapes.

by Anonymousreply 21104/12/2020

On the thread about "Celebrities You Get Confused", someone posted Morgan Fairchild and Morgan Freeman.

I was reading this my office and trying not to laugh out loud. I had tears streaming down my cheeks from trying to hold in my laughter.

by Anonymousreply 21204/13/2020

I can see why they'd watch The Golden Girls over and over again, trying to get things straight in their heads. The floorplan of that house makes no sense.

by Anonymousreply 21304/13/2020

From the current Andrea Bocelli thread:

[quote]I’d like to punch dear Stevie Wonder’s dresser in the cunt. A national treasure wandering about looking like Bill Cosby’s date couch.

by Anonymousreply 21404/13/2020

This one, which occured on this very thread:

[quote]This post is so fucking MARY that three Portuguese peasant children fell to their knees in adoration upon reading it.

by Anonymousreply 21504/16/2020

[quote]an astute DLer once commented on one of the interminable Troll-threads for Jeremy Renner stangurls that the man in question has “a face like a cat’s ass”. I’ve never forgotten it, and I can’t see his face or hear his name without thinking immediately of it.

Someone else posted that he "looks like melting bologna" and now it's the first thing that pops into my head when I hear his name.

by Anonymousreply 21604/16/2020

On the thread How does Vagina affect You?

Much like St. Louis's airport. I passed through it briefly once and have no intention of going back.

by Anonymousreply 21704/16/2020

Years ago I started a thread with a link to a dry legal article about a lesbian couple and a problem with the will after one died. I did not expect it to be a barn burner thread, but someone replied:

[quote]Because not even death can stop lesbian drama.

I lost it.

by Anonymousreply 21804/16/2020

R218 LOLOLOL!

by Anonymousreply 21904/16/2020

Right now there's a fairly new thread called "Is it ethical for people to own pets" or something of the sort. In response to a comment about a cat's natural instinct to kill, a very astute DLer replied, "Cats are natural born killers like Jeffrey Dahmer. If you released a million Jeffrey Dahmers into the wild there would be no asian boys anymore."

by Anonymousreply 22004/20/2020

There was a thread that had something to do with favorite singers or song performances, and someone mentioned a song by simply "Luther", obviously meaning Vandross. But somebody couldn't resist snarking "Luther who? Luther Vandross? Martin Luther?", to which someone replied, "LEX Luthor, Rose!"

I must've been in a silly mood that day, because I laughed for a good minute.

by Anonymousreply 22104/20/2020

On the legendary "Dan Motherfuck" thread, where a drunk,stunting teen stuck his head out of the emergency hatch of a moving bus at the wrong time and smacked into an overpass.

Post:This is really sad, the best part of his life was in front of him

Reply: His head?

by Anonymousreply 22204/20/2020

Here you go R222

Truly a great thread.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 22304/20/2020

There's a current thread about a Texas deplorable named Karen, who died of covid19 after defying orders to remain at home and sequester herself. One DL commenter summed it up nicely: "Karen finally got to talk to the manager."

by Anonymousreply 22404/20/2020

On a thread started by someone bitching they have been instructed to report back to work:

“Those sweaters aren’t going to fold themselves.”

by Anonymousreply 22504/28/2020

This was posted within the past couple of days (sorry—can't remember the thread), in response to someone slightly bitching about something:

Simmer down, fatso. Pudding day is tomorrow.

by Anonymousreply 22604/28/2020

The other day on the Jack Mackenroth thread

[italic]"It’s been 12 years since I was on project runway and you’re still talking about me so I’m doing something right."[/italic]

We also reference the Whore of Babylon, Sondheim's basement and Babs finally doing Gypsy. What's his point?

by Anonymousreply 22704/29/2020

LOL'ing at this response on the Did Jessica Fletcher Ever Take A Lover thread....

[quote] No, she had the Jeff Stryker realistic dildo that kept her fulfilled and so she had no sexual frustration interfering with her cases. She later traded it in for the Chad Hunt dildo which was ever better for her.

by Anonymousreply 22805/07/2020

Not a reply, but a tip o' the wig to the queen who created a poll asking "What is life least like?"

The choices were:

- The French Riviera

- A charity ball

- A great big bed of roses

- Show biz

by Anonymousreply 22905/07/2020

Raw tits, flush with milk, a small goat follows at her scent. A mass of dark ravens mane fur flowing from the heaving meaty gland between her thick thighs. a warriors braid down her muscular back. an oxen's pelt over her broad shoulders. rich menstrual blood flows down onto her viking boot. her hooves, horn, and tail greased with the cunt musk of the villages ripest, thick titted virgins. This glorious, valiant, she-huntress scouting out all of the undergounds remaining outlawed cock, each one severed another feather in her dark crown

by Anonymousreply 23005/07/2020

In a thread about Rachael Ray at reply 150:

[quote] Whatever happened to Rachael Ray's neck?

[quote] Same thing that happened to your abs

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 23105/23/2020

From the "Why isn't Tori Spelling Filthy Rich" thread:

Why is anyone entitled to money simply because they fell out of the vagina of someone who has lots of it?

by Anonymousreply 23205/23/2020

On the thread about a Karen being kicked out of Trader Joe's for refusing to wear a mask in the midst of the coronavirus pandemic:

[quote]....Now about no shirt, no shoes, no service. I'm fine with no shirt if the guy is hot. Otherwise, cover it up when shopping.

by Anonymousreply 23305/23/2020

Another one from that Karen thread. She had been berating people for looking like idiots for wearing masks

[quote]They look like idiots with masks on? She looks like an idiot with that face on.

by Anonymousreply 23405/23/2020

after getting fucked by a convenience store clerk in the back room after closing, the bottom returned for more the next week only to find there would be a charge .....

"No Free Refills"

by Anonymousreply 23505/23/2020

From the "are you related to anybody famous?" thread;

"I am Mrs. Norman Maine."

by Anonymousreply 23605/23/2020

Just today—Best. Reply. Ever.

In a new thread about a guy who was angry because his partner peed on him, response #1 was:

Urine danger, gurl!

by Anonymousreply 23705/29/2020

This thread is worthless without pics.

This is why they hate us.

by Anonymousreply 23805/29/2020

My love to all the Ann Miller troll clones. Keep that cahrn coming!

by Anonymousreply 23905/29/2020

R238 didn’t understand the assignment.

by Anonymousreply 24005/29/2020

The BDSM reply: a relentless day of shopping, Bloomingdales, Dillard’s, Saks, and Macy’s.

by Anonymousreply 24105/29/2020

Is there anything a gay flight attendant can't do?

Top.

by Anonymousreply 24205/30/2020

On an old thread about the hotness of Mormon Elders, some mad genius made reference to ‘ovaries clacking like castanets’.

by Anonymousreply 24306/04/2020

I've read this on a couple of threads and it always makes me laugh:

Hold me David. I'm scared.

by Anonymousreply 24406/04/2020

Has anyone here witnessed any horrible celebrity behavior?

I saw Patti Lupone in Sunset Boulevard

by Anonymousreply 24506/04/2020

Very old thread: Celebrity Fragrances: "Over" by Sharon Stone - I laughed for days

by Anonymousreply 24606/04/2020

R242 also works for gay Nurses.

by Anonymousreply 24706/04/2020

The one that just happened on the "Incel blows off his hand making a bomb to blow up hot cheerleader" thread....

"His hand? Now there goes his sex life entirely."

by Anonymousreply 24806/08/2020

In the thread entitled [italic]Where do farts go?[/italic], someone replied, "To the bunker under the White House."

by Anonymousreply 24906/12/2020

There were two.

On the revival of Another World thread, someone claiming to be D. Hall said she'd play Ada only if she could have in her contract that she perform every scene with a "dishrag over her shoulder, the technique perfected by the late Connie Ford." Something about the word 'perfected.'

The other was a soap thread; KKL's son had done a porno and one poster wrote: "Well, what do you expect when he's got a mother with no morals, no sense of decency, no self-respect."

At first I thought WHOA; mean! And then I saw that it was signed "Stephanie Forrester."

by Anonymousreply 25006/12/2020

R250 — I guess you would have had to have been there.

by Anonymousreply 25106/12/2020

[quote] “Those sweaters aren’t going to fold themselves.”

That was me!

by Anonymousreply 25206/12/2020

Trust me R251. I was there. It was hilarious. I need to get off of this meth stuff.

by Anonymousreply 25306/12/2020

R250 Knowing both of those shows, those are a riot.

by Anonymousreply 25406/12/2020

Another one from the celebrity fragrance thread —

Still, by Christopher Reeve

I also cried laughing at all the Terri Schiavo album covers.

by Anonymousreply 25506/12/2020

i need to look for those two threads R255! sounds hysterical

by Anonymousreply 25606/12/2020

R254, thanks

Oh, R251, you're a cunt!

by Anonymousreply 25706/12/2020

This on the "What will you be cancelled for ?" thread

| In high school I was a "Blind Man" for Halloween. I had the shades, the cane, a cup of pencils, even a stuffed dog on a leash.

Did you swing the dog around on the leash while saying “Pardon me... I’m just looking around” ?

by Anonymousreply 25806/13/2020

Another funny celebrity fragrance was "0/7" by G, signed by you-know-who.

by Anonymousreply 25906/13/2020

The entire Someone Stole My Tina Turner Wall Clock is a fucking gold mine.

by Anonymousreply 26006/29/2020
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