Hello and thank you for being a DL contributor. We are changing the login scheme for contributors for simpler login and to better support using multiple devices. Please click here to update your account with a username and password.

Hello. Some features on this site require registration. Please click here to register for free.

Hello and thank you for registering. Please complete the process by verifying your email address. If you can't find the email you can resend it here.

Hello. Some features on this site require a subscription. Please click here to get full access and no ads for $1.99 or less per month.

My niece and my sister aren’t speaking to me again

My sister, niece, and niece’s youngest daughter were visiting over the weekend. The oldest daughter is now 13 and has decided she doesn’t like me and refused to visit.

I have a table in the hallway where I display a collection of antique Avon perfume bottles that belonged to my mother. They are not toys. The little girl has been told this many times.

I caught her playing with them again and told her that I was going to “call the Devil and he’s going to come and put you in a sack and take you to Hell!”

My mother used this line on us growing up and it got us to behave. It certainly didn’t cause irreparable damage.

Well, the girl starts crying hysterically and of course runs to her mother and tells her what I said. All hell broke loose, with my niece launching into one of her attacks on me, telling me that I’m a crazy old queen and she doesn’t know what happened to me as a child, but I’m clearly some kind of deranged sociopath, how she doesn’t know why I keep those tacky bottles, or why I’ve “canonized” my mother (who died before my niece was born) because she’s always heard that the old woman was a Nazi, and that must be where I get it from, etc.

My sister just stood there glaring at me, then finally said she doesn’t understand why we can’t get through one visit without me “showing my ass,” in her words.

The little girl is standing there, not a tear in sight, taking it all in.

I was absolutely furious at this point and said that I was finished entertaining them (I might have tossed in a few insults of my own) and that I was now inviting them to leave.

They packed up in silence and left, the little 6-year old hussy in training sticking her tongue out at me as she left, trailing my sister and niece. I’m ashamed to say that I shot her the bird in response and closed the door.

Haven’t heard a peep from them, so I’m sure I’m on their shit list for next couple of months.

by Anonymousreply 157April 7, 2019 4:33 PM

Too elaborate and unbelievable.

0/10

by Anonymousreply 1June 18, 2018 8:50 PM

The niece troll is underrated.

by Anonymousreply 2June 18, 2018 8:50 PM

Let me tell you how I would have handled that OP.

by Anonymousreply 3June 18, 2018 8:51 PM

All this after you bought your niece the Easter Bonnet?

by Anonymousreply 4June 18, 2018 8:52 PM

R4, the little girl is my grandniece, and the same one I bought the bonnet for.

by Anonymousreply 5June 18, 2018 8:53 PM

They're better off without you, OP.

by Anonymousreply 6June 18, 2018 8:53 PM

tl;dr

by Anonymousreply 7June 18, 2018 8:54 PM

The world of heterosexuals is a sick and boring life.

by Anonymousreply 8June 18, 2018 8:55 PM

I thought so, OP. Is it your niece who is ruining herself by using tampons?

by Anonymousreply 9June 18, 2018 8:55 PM

[quote] They packed up in silence and left, the little 6-year old hussy in training sticking her tongue out at me as she left, trailing my sister and niece. I’m ashamed to say that I shot her the bird in response and closed the door.

It's weird you thought this would be a funny addition.

by Anonymousreply 10June 18, 2018 8:56 PM

Bored elaborate scenario troll

by Anonymousreply 11June 18, 2018 8:56 PM

Yes, because a 6 year old speaks in this way "telling me that I’m a crazy old queen and she doesn’t know what happened to me as a child, but I’m clearly some kind of deranged sociopath, how she doesn’t know why I keep those tacky bottles, or why I’ve “canonized” my mother.

Where's the Sure, Jan gif when you need it.

by Anonymousreply 12June 18, 2018 8:59 PM

OP is mentally ill.

by Anonymousreply 13June 18, 2018 9:00 PM

OP, do you have a neighbor named Joel?

by Anonymousreply 14June 18, 2018 9:00 PM
Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 15June 18, 2018 9:01 PM

"I’m ashamed to say that I shot her the bird in response"

What a story! Everything but the bloodhounds snappin' at her rear end.

by Anonymousreply 16June 18, 2018 9:06 PM

OP, I hate to ell you, but I once saw an episode of "HOARDERS" that featured a nutjob with a collection of empty Avon bottles.

by Anonymousreply 17June 18, 2018 9:06 PM

R12, you’ve misread. The 6 year old’s mother (who is my niece) said that.

by Anonymousreply 18June 18, 2018 9:07 PM

Bless, r3.

Don't forget that "hussy-in-training" is hyphenated, OP. I can abide even the Avon figurines, but not poor punctuation (or penmanship, for that matter).

by Anonymousreply 19June 18, 2018 9:09 PM

OP has summoned one of my worst nightmare scenarios!

by Anonymousreply 20June 18, 2018 9:09 PM

You can do MUCH better that this, OP. Really stupid.

by Anonymousreply 21June 18, 2018 9:12 PM

I liked details in the OP EST but it went on too long.

by Anonymousreply 22June 18, 2018 9:12 PM

r12 it was the niece's daughter, not the 6 year old niece that said all that. The niece's daughter was just being a cunt and doing it all in front of her daughter like some sort of crazed frau soccer mom.

She's barely related to you. Cut them all out of the will, or leave them in, but make them spend a week in your haunted mansion to get it.

by Anonymousreply 23June 18, 2018 9:16 PM

I'm on your side, OP. Your niece and her daughters are ungrateful and I recommend cutting them out of your will.

by Anonymousreply 24June 18, 2018 9:16 PM

What an odd little story, but folks are right, the details are interesting. Antique Avon bottles - who comes up with something like that.

by Anonymousreply 25June 18, 2018 9:16 PM

R25, the poor OP has posted here before about his ungrateful niece. Poor fellow.

by Anonymousreply 26June 18, 2018 9:17 PM

jesus that was boring, but I can tell you put several minutes of effort into your made-up story, so good job, little man!

by Anonymousreply 27June 18, 2018 9:21 PM

So, who are you gonna leave all of those avon bottles to if they all hate you?

by Anonymousreply 28June 18, 2018 9:21 PM

Au moins vieux Guerlain?

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 29June 18, 2018 9:28 PM

OP, YOU'RE A STRAIGHT SHOOTER! I LIKE STRAIGHT SHOOTERS. I LIKE AVON BOTTLES TOO! WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME OVER AND SEE MY BOTTLES? BLESS.

by Anonymousreply 30June 18, 2018 9:28 PM

This reminds me of one of my absolute favorite threads here on DL:

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 31June 18, 2018 9:36 PM

W&W for R16! And OP, stop threatening the six-year-old just because she likes to touch sparkly things. Your niece sounds exhausting and should be avoided until she starts to get a sense of humour.

by Anonymousreply 32June 18, 2018 9:39 PM

R31, that is my post. I must confess that I haven’t seen the older grandniece in quite some time, so she must be 14 now. Time flies.

And my sister often calls me an “old queen” in jest, so her daughter has picked up the term, but only uses it to insult me.

by Anonymousreply 33June 18, 2018 9:58 PM

R31. The niece troll is new to me (how have I overlooked these threads in the past?), but Im getting a good chuckle ....

by Anonymousreply 34June 18, 2018 10:00 PM

Neither my niece nor her daughters will get a thing. I’m not sure what I will do with the bottles. I should look into that. I’m sure they aren’t worth any money, but they mean something to me.

My sister always had an ax to grind with Mother. When she died, my sister just wanted to hire a company to empty the contents of the house and send it all to the city dump. I insisted that we go through everything.

I recall that she was hellbent on throwing out those lovely bottles, but I insisted on saving them.

by Anonymousreply 35June 18, 2018 10:03 PM

You don't deserve a niece.

by Anonymousreply 36June 18, 2018 10:04 PM

Why? Because I won’t put up with her little hellions? My mother used that phrase on us all the time. Worked like a charm.

by Anonymousreply 37June 18, 2018 10:06 PM

There's certainly potential there but the details of the story need to be finessed.

by Anonymousreply 38June 18, 2018 10:09 PM

I was molested.

by Anonymousreply 39June 18, 2018 10:10 PM

Here's a thought...when you are expecting young visitors, you put all fragile or irreplaceable things out of their reach.

by Anonymousreply 40June 18, 2018 10:11 PM

My mother used to tell us that she would "cut us up for porpoise meat" when we were naughty, but I knew better than to use this threat on other children.

by Anonymousreply 41June 18, 2018 10:12 PM

I'm not sure why so many people need to post this is an EST. After the first few.. .WE GET IT, YOU THINK IT'S AN EST. Good lord.

by Anonymousreply 42June 18, 2018 10:13 PM

Thanks OP - I’m sitting here waiting for a meeting and needed something ridiculous to entertain me.

by Anonymousreply 43June 18, 2018 10:14 PM

Didn't I attempt to sing a song about this?

by Anonymousreply 44June 18, 2018 10:16 PM

[quote] Too elaborate and unbelievable.

[quote] 0/10

That's not fair, attention to detail and lack of restraint should be rewarded. The Avon bottle collection? The dead mother?

3/10

by Anonymousreply 45June 18, 2018 10:16 PM

Thank you for this gem, OP.

by Anonymousreply 46June 18, 2018 10:18 PM

Is your mother still in her room, sitting in a rocking chair wearing a wig?

by Anonymousreply 47June 18, 2018 10:26 PM

The Avon bottles are too offbeat to be invented. I believe this whole thing happened just as OP retold it. It's not at all hard to believe in the self-righteous sister (or niece?) and her daughter who just HAS to play with something she has been repeatedly told not to touch. Some kids are like that; "no" magnetizes them.

OP, you should definitely cut them out of your life. It sounds as though you get no joy out of these visits, anyway.

Just curious about the Avon bottles--are they all different? Each bottle containing a different product? If your mother saved them, then they are worth your saving, too.

by Anonymousreply 48June 18, 2018 10:30 PM

I liked the part about the devil putting the kid in a sack and taking her to hell!

Of course the brat was fucking around with the bottles. Kids today are NEVER told “no.”

by Anonymousreply 49June 18, 2018 10:32 PM

Ya got any of the ones shaped like cars?

by Anonymousreply 50June 18, 2018 10:32 PM

Two words, OP: wire hanger.

by Anonymousreply 51June 18, 2018 10:34 PM

OP, look at the big picture and apologize. You ALL shouldn’t care about the details. You’ll all be dead soon enough, and none of this will matter. Catch life as it flies by. Sorry, but you need to be the big man and apologize, even if you don’t mean it.

And R42 nailed it.

by Anonymousreply 52June 18, 2018 10:34 PM

How about the six-year-old? Is she speaking to you?

by Anonymousreply 53June 18, 2018 10:36 PM

OP = Gay Uncle Meanie.

by Anonymousreply 54June 18, 2018 10:40 PM

You shouldn't have to put your collectibles up when a child visits. They should be taught to respect your space. And keep their grubby little mits off your stuff.

by Anonymousreply 55June 18, 2018 10:41 PM

To whom are you leaving your Franklin Mint dildos?

by Anonymousreply 56June 18, 2018 10:45 PM

Are you really even gay ?

by Anonymousreply 57June 18, 2018 10:48 PM

I'd be more concerned about my liquor bottles.

by Anonymousreply 58June 18, 2018 10:52 PM

Oh, OP, you missed an opportunity. When I was a child I had a collection of old perfume bottles my mother and grandmother gave to me. They sat on my bureau top and I would play with them, pretending they were fancy girls in a little school as I moved them around deep in imaginative reverie. I never broke a single one. Instead of scolding your niece you could have told her how to gently handle them. You could be the fun eccentric uncle who she will fondly remember long after you.re gone. You could also pick up some cheap small perfume bottles (maybe at the dollar store) for her to play with next time she visits. Keep them for her future visits, maybe let her take one with her after each visit. Do you really want to be remembered as the mean crazy uncle?

by Anonymousreply 59June 18, 2018 10:52 PM

If you always tell the truth, OP, you don't have to have a good memory.

by Anonymousreply 60June 18, 2018 10:54 PM

I like R59's response. I can picture OP in his caftan.

by Anonymousreply 61June 18, 2018 10:59 PM

After the visit did you have to retire to your fainting couch?

by Anonymousreply 62June 18, 2018 11:02 PM

I caught her playing with them again and told her that I was going to “call the Devil and he’s going to come and put you in a sack and take you to Hell!”

Where the FUCK did you grow up? An insane asylum?!?

by Anonymousreply 63June 18, 2018 11:10 PM

[quote]You could also pick up some cheap small perfume bottles (maybe at the dollar store)

Better yet, pick up some of that cheap Dollar Store pound cake

And stuff that little bitch's face until she too fat to waddle over to your priceless Avon perfume bottle collection

by Anonymousreply 64June 18, 2018 11:18 PM

Don't listen to the haters! I'm with you, OP!

by Anonymousreply 65June 18, 2018 11:24 PM

I CONCEAL MY COLLECTION OF ANTIQUE PERFUME BOTTLES IN MY HOPE CHEST.

by Anonymousreply 66June 18, 2018 11:28 PM

From now on, they'll call you Uncle Bottle Bottom.

by Anonymousreply 67June 18, 2018 11:31 PM

I wouldn't speak to any of you. Fortunately, I will never have to.

by Anonymousreply 68June 18, 2018 11:35 PM

Nah, OP is never going to be fondly remembered as the fun eccentric uncle, but he'll do well in the nelly old queen sweeps.

by Anonymousreply 69June 18, 2018 11:38 PM

Are the Lladros figurines safe??

by Anonymousreply 70June 19, 2018 1:18 AM

R29, Mon Dieu! The 'Les Coeurs de Chamade' twin set. I have one of those, but they're very rare! And those doughnut bottles from the '60s!

R34, The Ungrateful Niece Troll is a DL Icon. Here's a classic.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 71June 19, 2018 1:18 AM

I believe OP is Moosifer.

by Anonymousreply 72June 19, 2018 1:26 AM

Just when Jerry Springer finally gets cancelled. : (

by Anonymousreply 73June 19, 2018 2:01 AM

OP, if you're cute I'll give you my mother's empty Shalimar bottle.

by Anonymousreply 74June 19, 2018 2:34 AM

I can’t remember - is the ungrateful niece troll the same person with the hypercritical Aunt Tansy?

If so, all criticism should cease IMMEDIATELY.

He is a national treasure!

by Anonymousreply 75June 19, 2018 2:41 AM

Again? How many times does this happen OP?

by Anonymousreply 76June 19, 2018 2:47 AM

Remember, now, Tansy and Rommery, too!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 77June 19, 2018 2:49 AM

Did you call anyone a strumpet or a viper this time, OP? I adored those insults from your last chef d'oeuvre!

by Anonymousreply 78June 19, 2018 2:51 AM

OP's collection.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 79June 19, 2018 2:52 AM

[quote]I discreetly told my niece that she needs to douche

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 80June 19, 2018 2:54 AM

[quote]I have been banned from my niece's home

[quote]And told I am no longer allowed to be around her children. I spent a few hours looking after her youngest daughter this afternoon and we had a lovely time, as I taught her how to draw some cartoon characters from my childhood. The child showed the picture of Little Black Sambo to her mother, my niece, and she apparently flipped. Evidently, I am a "racist" and was trying to poison her daughter's mind. Some days, I feel as if the world has changed so much that I don't want to live in it anymore.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 81June 19, 2018 2:56 AM

I’ve heard that the sense of smell is the most evocative of memory.

After my Mom died, I put her rosaries and some costume Jewlery in a ziplock bag and threw it in a box in my closet. A decade later I came upon that baggie and I opened it. I got this surprise blast of her perfume. I think it was “White Linen”, but it brought her memory back. I never realized that she even had a particular perfume, until then.

I recently shared a meal with her and Dad in a dream at a bitter sweet picnic.

Now back to the not nice niece.

by Anonymousreply 82June 19, 2018 3:43 AM

[quote] R72: I believe OP is Moosifer.

Is that right, OP? Spill it. Don’t expect your mother to bail you out this time.

I heard Moosifer was colluding with Russia to plan to shoot down Santa over the Canary Islands. As if!

by Anonymousreply 83June 19, 2018 3:47 AM

R82, I still have a drawer in one chest of drawers with my Mom's old scarves and gloves, that still smells like her perfume. It's the only drawer in the house that I didn't empty out after my parents died. I almost never open it, just only when I miss her the most and need to remind myself.

Anyway, I was lucky not to be encumbered with a strumpet niece.

by Anonymousreply 84June 19, 2018 3:50 AM

Send the little snot a vibrator sex toy for her next birthday. Oh the fun you’ll have to see her unwrap that at her party.

by Anonymousreply 85June 19, 2018 3:54 AM

OP's "Avon" bottles:

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 86June 19, 2018 4:19 AM

I'm gutted that we haven't heard about any of Aunt Tansy and Romerry's latest slights.

Hambleton, too!

by Anonymousreply 87June 19, 2018 4:20 AM

Around Xmas I started a thread, begging for a holiday update, but none came.

by Anonymousreply 88June 19, 2018 4:23 AM

Is this what DL has come to? An outlet mall version of a lame troll from last year?

by Anonymousreply 89June 19, 2018 4:28 AM

I believe OP is a chronic, lying little fuck.

by Anonymousreply 90June 19, 2018 5:41 AM

What is with R89 and all the other humorless kill-joys?

These threads are FUNNY:

BILL TAYLOR

Aunt Tansy and Romerry

Joel and his neighbor

The Misogynistic Uncle

Comic gold - all of them

by Anonymousreply 91June 19, 2018 6:09 AM

For those wondering, some of the bottles are the same. There are two of them shaped like the telephone in this picture.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 92June 19, 2018 7:29 PM

I have one in this style, and one that is a pheasant, a couple of cats, and some that are just beautifully shaped bottles.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 93June 19, 2018 7:35 PM

Sometimes the elaborate scenarios are funny, but they take a really subtle hand. The best ever have been the ones that fooled people, and they're still talked about her quite a lot:

*I'm not running a B&B here (the trick who demanded to shower after the fucking though the OP only had one towel, and then ate his turkey meatballs in the fridge)

*Not Without My Daughter! (the dad furious because his overweight daughter would not speak to him for possibly stealing a can of frosting from his lover's pantry)

*When will the tears stop? (OP was not invited to his husband's sister's wedding)

*Lesbian potluck Thanksgiving (self-explanatory)

In all of them, the reason they were so memorable was because the posters used specific detail to give it a sense of authenticity, but did not go over the top. This thread completely fails because the details are too insane: who is ever going to believe an uncle is going to threaten a grand niece with the devil coming to take her in a sack to hell, or that a six-year-old is going to spitefully give her uncle the finger? Less is always more for these kinds of threads. If you're too berserk or baroque, the scenario is just stupid rather than funny. If it looks like you're trying too hard, you would have been better off not posting.

by Anonymousreply 94June 19, 2018 7:42 PM

Look at this one!

Classy!

OP's sister (niece?) is a bitch for thinking it okay for her daughter to play with these antiques against OP's strict warnings.

OP, you don't owe them a relationship. Just drop them. Let them worry about it.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 95June 19, 2018 8:55 PM

R94, true situation or not, I found the uncle using his mother's phrase on a grand niece, behave or the devil will come to take you in a sack to hell ,as somewhat sweet as Uncle Bottom remembered his dear mum. His sister didn't remember her mother's phrase with as much warmth. Ruckus ensued.

by Anonymousreply 96June 19, 2018 9:05 PM

R81 Princess Michael of Kent wore a blackamore brooch to meet Meghan and took heat. Your "teaching" Little Black Sambo seems in order.

My mother's scent was Shalimar. I've empties for you.

by Anonymousreply 97June 19, 2018 9:10 PM

I use a water sprayer set to the hard stream when my niece gets out of line. I used a citronella spray collar until she grew out of it in her mid-teens.

by Anonymousreply 98June 20, 2018 12:13 AM

My sister hates our late mother because she refused to raise a ruckus when my sister claimed a neighbor behaved inappropriately toward her when she was 12. And she says our father drank all the time and our mother was addicted to pills.

Daddy drank very, very moderately, and only either at cocktail hour or with meals. Women of my mother’s generation often took a little something to pep them up and keep them trim. My sister was always a fat layabout, which is why she no longer has a husband.

by Anonymousreply 99June 20, 2018 12:19 AM

Well, we somehow had this Avon bottle, even though my Mom despised Avon products. Our cousins were major consumers of Avon stuff, while my Mom claimed she got migraines from it. I didn't start buying/wearing cologne until I was an adult and living on my own. Strangely, my Mom actually liked most of the scents I wore (I have always used them very discreetly).

I'm shocked that you flipped the bird, though, OP. Although your family sounds very exasperating, you've always been such a trooper.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 100June 20, 2018 12:43 AM

R100, I have tried so hard. My sister is reasonable at times, but her daughter is just awful. I’ve tried to teach her to be a lady, but she rejects my attempts with such disgusting vitriol.

I hoped to be an influence on her two daughters, but the older one has had her mind poisoned against me and is probably a complete tramp by now, while the younger one is clearly on her way to a juvenile detention center. My niece has allowed her to befriend a girl from the urban public school she insists on sending her to, and I have no doubt they’ll be picked up for shoplifting soon.

by Anonymousreply 101June 20, 2018 1:16 AM

OP, some of your actions strike e as a tad passive aggressive. I hate that.

Otherwise, it’s not your role to instruct them in anything. You don’t have the power, and it will only backfire. Instead, try to just have fun when you’re together. Buy them things. Spoil them.

by Anonymousreply 102June 20, 2018 2:02 AM

since no one else has:

[quote]told her that I was going to “call the Devil and he’s going to come and put you in a sack and take you to Hell!”

MARY!!!

by Anonymousreply 103June 20, 2018 2:13 AM

OP the girls need no instruction on cock sucking and ass fucking.

by Anonymousreply 104June 20, 2018 2:24 AM

One of the bottles is MISSING! It was one of my favourites--a kitty cat wearing a bow tie. That brat must have pocketed it. I'm thinking of calling her cunt mother, but I'm so mad I don't trust myself to speak with her. Fuck.

by Anonymousreply 105June 20, 2018 2:09 PM

Lucky you OP! I'm considering taking some distance from my sister and my niece, so there you go.

by Anonymousreply 106June 20, 2018 2:11 PM

R105, Please, remember you're a lady!

by Anonymousreply 107June 20, 2018 2:12 PM

I think that a call to the authorities is in order, OP. Someday, your great-niece will thank you.

by Anonymousreply 108June 21, 2018 1:36 AM

OMG I can’t find my vintage bottle of Jean Nate splash!! I literally can’t breathe right now.

by Anonymousreply 109June 21, 2018 1:41 AM

That as a sarcastic espontaneo at R109, right, OP?

by Anonymousreply 110June 21, 2018 2:09 AM

^^^^That *was* a sarcastic etc.

by Anonymousreply 111June 21, 2018 2:10 AM

0/10

by Anonymousreply 112June 21, 2018 2:17 AM

Great, OP. Now the thread’s on life support.

by Anonymousreply 113June 21, 2018 2:23 AM

[quote] I caught her playing with them again and told her that I was going to “call the Devil and he’s going to come and put you in a sack and take you to Hell!”

Right there is where you went wrong with this fairy tale

[quote] with my niece launching into one of her attacks on me, telling me that I’m a crazy old queen and she doesn’t know what happened to me as a child, but I’m clearly some kind of deranged sociopath, how she doesn’t know why I keep those tacky bottles, or why I’ve “canonized” my mother

This is where I knew that without a doubt, you are full of shit

by Anonymousreply 114June 21, 2018 2:41 AM

R113, this thread was DOA.

by Anonymousreply 115June 21, 2018 4:46 AM

Points for the Jean Natay mention!

by Anonymousreply 116June 21, 2018 5:11 AM

The Niece Troll is one of my favorites! Never give up!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 117June 21, 2018 5:13 AM

This is one of the gayest posts I've read in a long time. Thank you, OP.

by Anonymousreply 118June 23, 2018 1:32 AM

Be kind to the niece troll. He's better than most of the other trolls on DL.

by Anonymousreply 119June 23, 2018 1:37 AM

OP, there are ways to get children to behave. More permanent methods.

by Anonymousreply 120June 23, 2018 1:39 AM

This is the same queen who posted about her ungrateful niece coming to dinner. The style is the same.

by Anonymousreply 121June 23, 2018 1:40 AM

-2.5/10

by Anonymousreply 122June 23, 2018 2:35 AM

Well, now I've done it. I think I've really broken things beyond repair. I called my niece and read her the riot act--said she's a rotten mother and that her daughter's a sociopath thief in training. She went full-bore ballistic on me. What would an old queen know about children or about love? Why didn't I just shove my Judy Garland records up my ass? Then she hung up.

I fucked up.

by Anonymousreply 123June 23, 2018 2:47 AM

Marry me, R63

by Anonymousreply 124June 23, 2018 3:00 AM

Yeah, OP, maybe you need a cooling off period. And a therapist. Would you talk like this to anyone else?

by Anonymousreply 125June 23, 2018 9:18 PM

Slap the thieving great-niece viciously, OP. It's the only solution.

by Anonymousreply 126June 23, 2018 10:05 PM

You did not fuck up, OP. The daughter's stealing from you in your own house is disgusting. Why do you want these shitheads in your life? What do you need from them?

Stealing is bad enough in itself. But to steal from family--to betray trust in that way--is the act of a stinking little bitch.

If you engage further with these people, don't come crying to us.

by Anonymousreply 127June 23, 2018 10:45 PM

R123, R109, and R105 are impostors.

by Anonymousreply 128June 23, 2018 10:51 PM

R128/OP, I thought so! You're much too genteel to use such language.

by Anonymousreply 129June 23, 2018 10:54 PM

My grandniece has never stolen anything. Her mother might be an amazon with absolutely no grace whatsoever, but I would think she at least taught her children not to steal!

I worry what will become of the older daughter. She’s probably already sexually active, what with the tampons and the urban public school. She’ll probably wind up pregnant.

by Anonymousreply 130June 23, 2018 10:57 PM

R105,R129 and R130 are imposters.

by Anonymousreply 131June 24, 2018 2:05 AM

I'm JUST discovering the Niece threads. Can someone link the others? DL search functionality is the pits.

by Anonymousreply 132July 7, 2018 10:46 PM

Traditional XMAS Dinner.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 133July 7, 2018 10:53 PM

New School Clothes.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 134July 7, 2018 10:54 PM

Little Black Sambo

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 135July 7, 2018 10:55 PM

Easter Bonnet

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 136July 7, 2018 10:56 PM

Niece needs to douche

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 137July 7, 2018 10:56 PM

Correct titles for married couples.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 138July 7, 2018 10:57 PM

Niece is becoming an old maid.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 139July 7, 2018 10:58 PM

Chicken a la King

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 140July 7, 2018 11:03 PM

OP you have to be at least in your 70s so exactly why should we care about you?

by Anonymousreply 141July 7, 2018 11:21 PM

R141, These threads provide entertainment. Isn't that what DL is about? I love the Niece troll.

by Anonymousreply 142July 8, 2018 12:42 AM

Well I wanted the niece to knock all the Avon bottles onto the floor breaking all of them with OP fleeing in tears.

by Anonymousreply 143July 8, 2018 12:55 AM

The niece troll is a DL guilty pleasure for sure.

Along with the teen son neighbor poster and the 'shit brickhouse' poster with the daddy issues.

by Anonymousreply 144July 8, 2018 1:03 AM

I've only now just discovered this "Niece Troll," thanks to this thread. How delightful! A nice change of pace from the old uncle/nephew posts.

Thanks, OP!

by Anonymousreply 145July 8, 2018 1:35 AM

OP why don't you become an Avon lady? Do they still have them?

by Anonymousreply 146July 8, 2018 8:42 AM

Well, I am replying to this thread because some of the recent threads are very tedious. I would really like to hear more from the Ungrateful Niece poster.

by Anonymousreply 147July 28, 2018 5:38 AM

Point of order: it's not the Devil who puts children in a sack and takes them to Hell. It's Krampus who does that. Just for the record.

by Anonymousreply 148July 28, 2018 5:59 AM

My grandpa had the pheasant bottle and my grandma had the cat one. Oh, nostalgia.

by Anonymousreply 149July 28, 2018 6:01 AM

Lou Grant) You know how you always are?

Ted Baxter) Yes

Lou) Stop being that way

by Anonymousreply 150July 28, 2018 6:04 AM

I hope you get date-raped, OP.

by Anonymousreply 151July 28, 2018 6:05 AM

Well R151, I think our dear Uncle Bottom, would be more offended at the lack of dating etiquette, than the actual rape it's self.

He was raised better, as you well know.

by Anonymousreply 152July 28, 2018 2:50 PM

[quote]For those wondering, some of the bottles are the same. There are two of them shaped like the telephone in this picture.

But you can't even dial it with a pencil!

by Anonymousreply 153July 28, 2018 3:46 PM

Paging the Niece Troll. Can you kindly link to your latest thread? DL’s search function isn’t working.

by Anonymousreply 154April 7, 2019 4:01 AM

Who the fuck puts vintage anything on a hallway table when they know curious kids or teens will be around.

Keep your vintage crap in one of your bedrooms!

by Anonymousreply 155April 7, 2019 5:09 AM

At least she didn't touch your collection of empty Helenesque bottles.

by Anonymousreply 156April 7, 2019 5:36 AM

[quote]Two words, OP: wire hanger.

I think it's a bit too late for an abortion now. No state allows it in the 21st trimester.

by Anonymousreply 157April 7, 2019 4:33 PM
Loading
Need more help? Click Here.

Yes indeed, we too use "cookies." Take a look at our privacy/terms or if you just want to see the damn site without all this bureaucratic nonsense, click ACCEPT. Otherwise, you'll just have to find some other site for your pointless bitchery needs.

×

Become a contributor - post when you want with no ads!