I discreetly told my niece that she needs to douche

If you're a man stfu and mind your buisness, there's nothing more annoying than having men tell you how to look after your body.

Did you give her some Modess too?

Nobody wants to smell vagine so you need to be considerate of others (regardless of gender), R1.

It's an offensive odor.

Years ago my gynecologist told me to splash some water up my vagine "every so often". I got the impression that he was telling me to do a gentle douche with plain water after periods. I ended up getting one of those red bags that were used for douches and used plain water.

Doesn't her uncle suffice?

Maybe she should try Miracle-Grow for acid loving plants?

I would always recommend a solution of 3 parts bleach to 1 part water.

R5 is blocked.

YOU'RE a douche. it's not good for women's vaginas to douche and it won't make anything better, only worse. she might have a bacterial infection down there...there really is no reason why a woman's vagina would stink other than that.

You guys are fucking stupid with your "stinky pussy" rhetoric.

You should have been clear you were talking about her other hole.

Your niece is right; however, as already discussed AD NAUSEUM (haha) showering with mild soap and water prevents odor. If that doesn't work, she needs to see her doctor because there may be an infection.

So now we have a niece troll to complement the nephew troll.

DL really is a model of even-handedness and gender equality.

That's really the worst thing you can tell a young girl! I douched ONCE in 1992 and I still get a Yeast infection and a UTI every month like clockwork! Also whatever you do, do not dousche with yougurt as someone told me to do for a yeast infection, it just made every thing worse and it got all clotted and I wound up smelling like a vat of flat Pabst Blue Ribbon mixed with expired Yoplait! LOL!!!

Creepy trolling uncle OP needs to take his pedo fantasy bullshit to a therapist before he has cops at his door.

Of course the vagina stinks! What newfangled madness is this? And what husband would want to go to bed with a wife who refused to clean herself? Why do you think they make all those douches and sprays?

This young lady is very willful and not very demure, so a smelly flower is going to be the straw that broke the camel's back as far as her husband is concerned.

It's worthless to douche - the potential smelly part is the inner/outer labia. All you need to do is shower before sex and you'll be fine... just wash the aforementioned parts w soap and water.

She stinks with her clothes on!

I wonder what Joan Crawford would say.

She would agree with me!

Wait, all Of you idiots think this actually happened? BWAHAHAHA

Her husband? She's married?

Strap an AirWick automated freshener dispenser to her inner thigh and she'll be just fine!

The niece story "really happened" as much as his nephew stories really happened.

Yes, R22. It's a mystery to me, too.

She thinks the fact that she managed to snag a husband is proof that my notions are hopelessly old-fashioned. I'll have the last laugh, however, as I'm certain that he's less than a year away from serving her with divorce papers.

Thank god for you uncle. Obviously the girl's mother never had 'that talk with her about LYSOL'.

"You know girls, LYSOL isn't just a commercial grade disinfectant for your kitchen counters, it's for your dirty dirty pussies too !" - Miss Joan Crawford

I'll never understand what's wrong with women being demure and clean. It makes life pleasant for everyone around them.

The "natural" movement has really gone too fat when it teaches women not to clean and freshen up their personal "area."

OP you're not funny or interesting. You're not shocking. You're boring.

OPs niece needs a lesbian with an experienced tongue to keep her vagina clean each day.

R31, it would be better for her if she were a lesbian. Same goes for the majority of women today. They are not appealing to men, at least not in the way they used to be.

Although I have no idea what the point of Lesbianism is. I mean, what is all that rubbing and flicking and grinding accomplishing?

R30 i disagree. OP you are cracking me up. And these responses from the fish gallery are priceless. I am laughing so hard there are tears in my eyes and my stomach hurts. These chicks KNOW that shit stinks. That's why they are so upset. You did the right thing Uncle OP. You were looking out. Leave it alone now. My sister had a terrible smell growing up. And a little girl when we were kids once stuck her fingers in her vagina, pulled them out and told me to smell. It haunts me til this day. DIABOLICAL.

10/10 !

That's why our women know to get a white man if they wants that thing eaten.

I hate that i even had to come out of that thing. Especially the one it was attached to.

R35 or an asian man. They love everything fishy and stinky and squishy and gross. I'm not kidding.

If I were a girl, my first instinct would be to douche with Kool-Aid.

I remember back in the 70s there was a British version of Dr Ruth on the radio, called ANNA Raeburn and she was always recommending natural yoghurt.

I don't see what's wrong with Lysol. Nothing smells cleaner, especially the old kind.

She seemed to recommend it for anything to do with the vagine.

I was a YUUUUGE fan of Anna's. If you'd had her on your radios you would have been too.

[quote]I discreetly told my niece

You're clearly marvellous with people, OP.

If you dont wash, you can get the Blue Waffle disease. It's too gross even for here. Google it if you have the balls.

He'll never leave her for you, OP.

God, remember that woman on Oprah with this problem at work?

They even had her son in the studio - "My Mom does NOT smell!"

Gurl, she clearly does - it's an international news sensation and she's on Oprah talking about it. You do the math.

You did it all wrong as usual, OP.

You should have invited her and your non-gay relative for a dip in the jacuzzi. Afterwards, you'd use positive reinforecement " Hey, you no longer reek"

This. Never. Happened

[quote]And a little girl when we were kids once stuck her fingers in her vagina, pulled them out and told me to smell. It haunts me til this day. DIABOLICAL.

So you were a prissy little queen even as a little kid?

Btw, I find this impossible to believe, unless this girl had an older sibling who was "doing it" and she somehow learned that pussies are allegedly stinky.

Are you Kellyanne Conway's uncle, OP?

[quote] I find this impossible to believe, unless this girl had an older sibling who was "doing it" and she somehow learned that pussies are allegedly stinky.

Maybe that was the case! There are bountiful scenarios that could have caused this to occur.

I'm sure many of us remember all sorts of things we got up to in relation to 'secret places' as a child.

Now we have a douching niece troll. Fuck. Off. Die. Grease fire. Cunt.

R51 = definite case of smelly pussy.

R48 oh it definitely happened my friend. I still wonder why she did it. She was wearing a green skirt and no panties and we were playing in a tree. Yes, always been "prissy". But no queen bitch. A prince. On HIS way to becoming a KING.

I want to see the responses to this thread:

I discreetly told my nephew that he needs to shave his ass

He rudely stated that he doesn't, and that doctors advise against it. I was quite gobsmacked at this and told him that his wife was going to leave him if he didn't keep himself clean (I'm quite sure she's going to anyway). Now neither he nor his father is speaking to me. Oh, well.

PS I'm glad I didn't tell him that he should bleach his hole!

Nothing worse than cooch stank. A neighbor girl suffered from that while we were growing up.

A woman's nether regions are naturally odorous due to all the bacteria that gets up there. The solution is regular cleaning with a douche and a nice spritz of fragrance, preferably something floral.

Nowadays, the ages-old idea that a woman should keep herself attractive and pleasant-looking is anathema, so doctors (especially female ones) say "Oh, the vagina is self-cleaning (like an oven, I guess - how ridiculous)" and spout some nonsense about upsetting a woman's delicate balance.

First, they decided they didn't want to wear girdles. Then no brassieres. Then no make-up. Now they refuse to clean their vaginas. And they want to pop their breasts out in restaurants. It's really getting sick. Enough is enough!

"Often a wife fails to realize that doubts due to one intimate neglect shut her out from happy married love."

I mean, who wants to see some fat, saggy woman in stretched-out pants, with her camel-toe and her ugly, pendulous breasts hanging down, with the nipples visible through her shirt?

Unkempt hair, no make-up. And now we have to be subjected to her stinking conch as well?

Slide into a girdle, strap those saggy tits into a brassiere, put on hosiery and a dress, slap on some make-up and brush out that rat's nest on your head.

After you've taken a douche and some FDS to that puss, of course.

The interesting thing is all those dramatic douche ads of the 30s -50s were actually advertising in a coded way their supposed effectiveness as a birth control method.

Seriously. Women of that time knew what they were referring to by "husband's rejection."

Trannies hate stank pussy too

Rumpy is back! Woot!

Oh the the threads we'll see, the threads we'll see!

I would call OP and his lot cunts, but I don't want to give them the honor of the title. Assholes?

You are all too stupid to breathe, as others correctly pointed out, foul vaginal order that is consistent is because of the EXTERNAL AREA OF THE GENITALIA. External, outside, not in. Yeast or other infections can of course cause an odor. But beyond that, it is all about external hygiene.

Half this site is made up of women you fucking morons. If you want to start fights like 8 year old boys, well, fuck yourself to hell and back. Sooooooo dumb. Sooooooo insulting. Soooooooo 1984. Soooooooo flyover. Sooooooooo lacking high education. And OP, you KNOW you want to fuck him, can't you just be honest with yourself? We all see it and are laughing at you.

Did you give her a practical demonstration of how it is done, OP?

People and fraud, it's a joke post, mmkay?

Christ.

*fraus

Well of course it's a joke OP doesn't have a neice.

But he has a special nephew.

Fraud = Fraus.

Even Spell Check/Auto Correct hates them.

Men need to STFU and STFD. They know nothing.

How's your nutloaf, R68?

Man on the Land!

Do lesbians have better hygiene down there R32? It's plausible since they are labialapping all the time.

R64, everyone here gets that. But they DO truly hate women, and DL is not the place for that. If you don't believe me, just ask them toots. They need to go over to fucking Brietbart.

Fraupocalypse at r72.

[quote]I wonder what Joan Crawford would say.

Joan would have recommended that she douche with PEPSI, of course.

[quote]Did you give her some Modess too?

I tried to, but she told me she only used Confi-dets.

Douche and Disinfect

You are so right r73

Yeah, talking about women's vaginas smelling like fish reminds me of hearing white people complaining that black people smell different and white people talking about how gross Indian people smell from curry.

Which means that you are now one simple step from becoming a member of my club for people like us, come on in!

"Oh, the vagina is self-cleaning (like an oven, I guess - how ridiculous)"

The vagina is, but the labia not so much.

Why are any GAY men discussing this as if they have any clue what they are talking about?

Women do not smell bad if they wash and do not have an infection. Douching is absolutely not necessary for healthy vaginas and can do more harm than good.

Perhaps the male gay gene is really in your nose. Finding anything offensive about the natural smell of healthy female vagina is so, so, well, so gay. Male gay that is.

R80 It's like cut guys talking about uncut dick, only with even less experience.

If you're unclean you smell bad everywhere. It's the bad hygiene that's the problem not the body part.

[quote]They need to go over to fucking Brietbart.

Why are so many Americans dyslexic when it comes to EI/IE? It's BREITBART. (And Anthony WEINER. Justin BIEBER.)

R82, I actually am an amazing speller. But his name confuses me.

And you flubbed on Beebs too! Aw hun, how does it feel? I still love you though.

[quote] Why are so many Americans dyslexic when it comes to EI/IE? It's BREITBART. (And Anthony WEINER. Justin BIEBER.)

These are names. They don't necessarily follow the rules of grammar and spelling. In any event, the rule regarding EI/IE:

I before E except after C Or when sounding like A as in neighbor and weigh.

Where does Breitbart fit into that except that bufoon weighs a ton?

Correction: that BUFFOON weighs a ton

I rather enjoyed that correction. B U F F O O N

I'm surprised we haven't heard from the "vaginas smell like freshly baked bread" troll.

Please.

They smell like rotten fish and need to be douched regularly. I don't care what anyone says.

R87 another B U F F O O N.

I will never smell your stinking, rotten pussy, R88. You'll never make me. Never.

You see I didn't know about the "douching is no longer recommended" thing until I read that recently here on DL. It's not a subject I try to stay up to date on but I still found it interesting. Like the response from R59 - didn't know/found it interesting.

I also appreciated the openness and descriptive writing of R14.

R89, but then how are you so certain they smell fishy if you stay away from them? Serious question. And don't even try to play like you smell women's vaginas just by being in their presence bitch, won't work you fucking IDIOT. But please, do help us all understand how you are privy to the global stench of vaginas. While never going near them.

R90, it actually is an interesting topic for those who enjoy history and learning. If we could just lose the rednecks on threads like these, we could have an enjoyable but random conversation on American women and sexuality. But you have to be intelligent and unfortunately, DL has been reduced to queens like r89.

[quote]These are names. They don't necessarily follow the rules of grammar and spelling

Nothing to do with rules. You see these names (especially BREITBART) in writing all the time. How hard is it to get them right?

[quote]And you flubbed on Beebs too!

It's BIEBER. I spelled it correctly.

It's Tuna Taco Thursday!

Ive eaten pussy a few times and I don't remember any stink.

I don't beleive the I and E speling thing is still going on

OP should be washing with Hibiclens twice daily to clear up that penis parmigiana in his pants.

^ lol!

Bump for the niece troll.

Kudos to OP for a nearly-perfect DL troll post. It's got everything, uncles, lurid icky body issues, boundaries issues, misogyny, sibling revenge, etc. Bravo!

Your niece doesn't need to douche, she doesn't shit through her vagina.