Moo With Pride!

A cow in the farm behind my house would visit my fence when I played outside. I named her Oprah. True story.

Cows are docile by nature but like horses they fear dogs and will stomp a bitch if it gets too close.

Hi, moo cows. Why yet another new thread?

Cowabunga!

I thought this was a Mother Pence thread.

Never mind the woman, who trampled the edelweiss?

I thought you moo cows might enjoy this Instamoo account, The Gentle Barn. It’s for a farm animal sanctuary in California, and the account features many cows.

[quote] R1: A cow in the farm behind my house would visit my fence when I played outside. I named her Oprah. True story.

That’s not an approved name, R1. Btw, what did she name you?

R3, I hear we get paywalled after 50 posts, so to allow everycow to post, we have to create new threads after 50.

Taking notes for referral to my legal team.

Well, Clarice, have the lambs stopped screaming?

Good day, steers and queers, and cows! Welcome to Monday Morning Moos! Feeling blue? Did you forget to moo? Well, hop to it!

I’m heading down to the gate. The stream is still running and I’m going for a swim before it runs dry for the Summer. I’ve no masks left, so I’m wearing my caftan over my head. It’s just us gals, so I can’t see anyone calling Barnyard Security.

Moo on Monday Eve.

Behold the Longhorn Cowfish, now stocked in the west gate pond.

Welcome, cowfish, and a Dinah Shore MWAH right back at you.

Moo

Uurp.

A little gassy.

Do Cowfish have approved names?

Photograph me ONLY from the right. Moo.

In the water I’m a very skinny lady.

R16, there’s an addendum to the Big Book of Cow names (unabridged) that has been circulating for peer review.

We’re gonna need a fresh copy, Gertie.

Speaking of circulation, do any of you like steak so rare the blood almost seems to still be moo-ving?

Mom?

Got it, R20.

Her are traditional names for cows. Please do not use new hip names for your cows without checking with the registration desk. Thank you.

Bessiet

Clarabellet

Betty Sue

Emmat

Henriettat

Ella

Penelopet

Nettiet

Anna

Bellat

Annabellet

Dorothy

Mollyt

Gertiet

Annie

The Registration Desk has been overwhelmed with requests for manly bull names. These do not require pre-approval if you use them for your bull. Thank you. Hydro

Homer

Earl

Ferdinand

Diesel

Horns

Armor

Sampson

Tank

Kristof

Angus

Midnight

Nitrous

Why do so many names at R23 end with "t"?

Second, I don't see any pain reliever names. Why aren't there more pain reliever names/

Darn you, R25! I think you wrote that same thing three years agoL. I thought I fixed it, . I think the trailing ‘T” was originally a “tab” spacer that got misinterpreted by the computers as the list was copied from one site to another,

[quote] Darn you, R25! I think you wrote that same thing three years agoL.

I don't remember doing so, but I may have. I'm no Evening Punctuationist, but I do notice those sorts of things.

Plus, all the name-additions over the three years. My Big Book copy is malfunctioning. I’ll find the other names soon!

I believe there was approval for certain 19th century whore names, Gertie.

Yours,

R26 is toying with us.

We gained entry by acclimation several years ago. Hmph.

R30,

That whore...was me.

[bold] Big Book of Cow Name. These names for your cow do not require pre-approval.

[bold] Animal Non-Bovine [bold] Name Species

Alasandro Alexander the duck X Alphonso Anacin Angus Anna Annabelle Annie Anvil Armor Auntie Taco X Axel Balthazar Barnabus Bull Beauchamp Heronimus Bull of Newport Beauregard Von Holstein Bella Benedictus, Cow of the Vatican Bernadette Bertha Bertrand Bessie Betty BettySue, Junior Librarian and Keeper of The Big Book of Names (unabridged.) Beulah Bossy Brunhilde Bufferin Carl X Carlotta, The Argentinian chick X Charlemagne Christmas Goose X Christmas Moose X Clarabelle Constance Cupcake Daisy Diesel Di'Jon, Secretary to Beauchamp Hieronymous Bull of Newport. Dolly Dorothy Dulcinea Earl Edelweiss Ella Elsie Emma Excedrin Fabiola, The flute-playing Peruvian cow Fanny Federico the photographer Ferdinand Fjällko “Gracie”, Swedish exchange cow Fromage General Montgomery Bull Gerhard Gertie Glinda, Farm Sprite X Günther Hadassah Hans the Friesian horse X Henrietta Homer Hormel Horns Hydro Koning is a Ster Friesian X Kristof LaDonna Lafitte, barn mouse X Larry the Farm Snake Lash laundress Zelda X Lieutenant Colonel Carlisle Lilith Lisa Lore Lotte the Bavarian Margaret Marla Marybelle Maxi, Gemini and a Bavarian Maxi Maybelline Melissa Melrose Midnight Mistletoe Molly Moriz Mortimer Mydoll or Midol Nettie Nitrous Norma Otto, Günther‘s syphlic Grandpa Pedro Penelope Peppo Percy Phyllis Pointsettia Rolf Rosa Roy Sally Sampson Schlomo Sextus, official timekeeper Simplicio the Alpaca X Sophie Susie Tank Thanksgiving Otter X The Evening Punctuationist X The hens X Thilde Thor, Author of The Tao of Cow Titus Titus the barn owl X Tommy the Bull Muriel, Webmistress

19th Century whore names (e.g., “Dolly” are pre-approved.

[quote] Big Book of Cow Name

Just the one, dear?

Yes, R34, but it’s a very long name.

[qupte]Why aren't there more pain reliever names?

Do you mean like Datril? Those were such 1970s black names.

[quote] Do you mean like Datril? Those were such 1970s black names.

What about piebald cows?

Do not discriminate. The only cow color that matters is on the inside. Think pink!

Gertie, holy crap. You’ve kept all the names over all these years?

That is impressive.

Gertie, I’m writing my thesis and can’t sleep. What was the first Monday Morning Moo, and when?

And to whom does one address questions of history such as, Carl: WTF?

Look what I just turned up from old posts at MMM. It’s a treasure trove I tell you:

Click even if it appears blank (Mooriel’s asleep at the switch again.)

The things I put up with.

Dear me! Think of it - cows writing theses!

It takes a light hoof to swirl that pen, r41.

Sextus at R42, I suspect many of the cows here are light in the hoofers.

Incoming alert, MMM is under strict PrimeTime lockdown.

Repeat: Mooo. Moo moo moooo.

All those locked down, click W/W, that’s our mark. . Rolf will ping your location and dig you out.

Phyllis and the hens are ready with warm towels and appetizers.

Homer, you have me laughing and laughing! I think I just had mike come out my nose.

[quote] I think I just had mike come out my nose.

Is Mike an approved name?

Apparently, Mike is shy.

My shy Uncle Titus senior, a loner for sure, used to nest in the nostrils of the kind FDR.

His mustache looks cozier.

[quote] My shy Uncle Titus senior, a loner for sure, used to nest in the nostrils of the kind FDR.

FDR? You're obviously not writing a thesis.

So sorry. I meant President Burt Reynolds.

I was his first lady.

Ah HA HA HA HA HA!

I’ll create a new thread next week. I’m getting my hooves done today.

Cow hooves are considered a delicacy in some cultures. Yuuuuuummmmmm. Hooves.

Great. Now we have Murder Cows.

Sextus, R40, sorry, dear, I missed your missive until now. Attached is the first OFFICIAL moo thread. It’s been three years already! But I defer to your judgement on the matter of time.

On one of the threads, I was able to collect all the previous threads in order. If you come upon that, would you please repost it? I’ll save it this time.

As for questions, I suggest you just post them and we’ll see who answers.

R55, maybe it’s just manslaughter? Hahahhhaaaaaaaa!

Cows love music. They really do.

Bossy...Bossy..BOSSY, would you please put your damn bell on mute? Heaven’s sake!

Ghost + Cow Films

Well, that was scary, R60. Thank you very much and moo.

I liked it. But I wasn’t scared, not like Bertrand.

Am I implying something? Am I?

Can’t you at least give a curtesy moo, Tommy?

I’ll moo you in Paris, Bertrand. Mmooo.

Tommy (R64), do you love to moo in the summer when the steak sizzles? Or in the winter when the spit drizzles?

Cole, you asked about seasons...

If ever I would leave you

It wouldn't be in summer.

Seeing you in summer

I never would go.

Your hair streaked with sunlight,

Your lips red as flame,

Your face with a luster

That puts gold to shame!

But if I'd ever leave you,

It couldn't be in autumn.

How I'd leave in autumn

I never will know.

I've seen how you sparkle

When fall nips the air.

I know you in autumn

And I must be there.

If ever I would leave you,

How could it be in springtime?

Knowing how in spring I'm bewitched by you so?

Oh, no! not in springtime,

Summer, winter or fall,

No, never could I leave you at all

Anyway, that’s my song to Bertrand, I declare, let the cards fall where they may.

Tommy, are you flirting with me? I declare!

I am., Bertrand. Yes. Moo.

I don’t quote Robert Goulet randomly, you know.

Well, moo, Tommy, but I have to go wash my hair.

You know, I wanted you to kiss me but I just wiped my mouth. Wiped my mouth.

This thread is not at the gates of death yet. Why a new one?

Have yoo girls been fitted for your costumes yet? Moo.

Where are those cows at R73? New Orleans?

Gosh, that’s purty, r73.

R75, do you visualize scenarios, exchanges, fucking?

The lengths those gals in R73 go to find a man is sad, but I understand it, if they don't, they'll go dry.

[quote] they'll go dry

Lactose intolerant?

R73 is Hopfgarten, Austria during the annual festival to celebrate bringing the girls down from the mountain pastures for winter. Its magnificent and good fun. Moo.

Hark! We are live again on this thread? You cows keep me spinning.

First we’re here, then we’re there, or over here...

I’m introducing a new Monday Moo Power Breakfast.

The menu consists of the greenest grass, high-protein clover and bacon.

Line up, no pushing, no shoving. Moo!

[quote[ Monday Moo Power Breakfast.

Piebald power?

[quote] Monday Moo Power Breakfast.

Piebald power?

[quote] The menu consists of the greenest grass, high-protein clover and bacon.

Mmmmm bacon. Even better than beef.

Precisely, you non-mooing mooer, r81.

The calves are brewing! Good hot de-calf! Ha! Get it?

Ah hahahahaha!

[quote] Precisely, you non-mooing mooer

I am not a bovine. How can I do what I cannot do? To try to do so would be a mockery of what bovines can so readily do.

R86 is Sheridan’s no-good nephew Woolfred, beware.

I’m proud proud proud to be a cow. I’m glad that I say “moo” and not “meow”!

Is Woolfred an approved name?

Why new-comers to this thread are left confused, I’ll never know.

Penelope, have you considered publishing a syllabus? Gertie was working on one, when she was found doing circles around the barn, complaining about syphilis and empirical data. We gave her tea and a taser.

[quote] We gave her tea and a taser

High on good grass and clover, may I remind you why we’re all here...

[quote] may I remind you why we’re all here...

I am here because of a diet of beef.

R90, nothing kills a deal for new membership than actually telling them what goes on here. I think we need a cover story.

Gertie, you can look to Carl for that.

[quote[ He’s like James Bond, with a head injury

So he's a George Lazenby?

[quote] He’s like James Bond, with a head injury

So he's a George Lazenby?

And he we are, 98 replies to this thread and not shut down. It’s usually 50. Mooo.

R90, syphilis? She should be more worried about mastitis if she wants to keep her udder in good shape!

The thread is a go, but Mooriel is starving us of replies with her subscriber paywall.

The paywall is still in effect. Is there no way out? Is there no way through?

Mooriel is a bitter hostess.

[quote] Is there no way out? Is there no way through?

Won’t someone please hand me my ThunderShirt.

A few years ago, my uncle had 4 cows on his farm. And he had two pet goats. The goats were playful and liked to antagonize the cows. One day, I watched as the two goats approached the four cows who were grazing in the field. The cows kept eating grass, ignoring the goats. One goat walked right up to one of the cows and got directly in front of her. Then he stood up on his hind legs and started swinging his front legs towards the goat...just like a boxer! He didn't actually hit the cow, but the second time he did it, the cow got annoyed. She put her head down and stamped her foot like she was going to charge the goat. The two goats ran away. The cow didn't chase, but instead went back to eating grass.

Temple Grandin with her “Forcing Gate” and “Crush/Squeeze?”

Yeah, I have an eye on that one.

We’re patient to a fault, r103.

We were ever kind and patient with the goats’ bereaved.

[quote] Melose

I’m flattered that you caught that, r106.

Wanna make out?

R103, those cows are not to be underestimated.

They say stripes are slimming, mooo!

Happy Independence Day, America. Hang in there.

Fank you, Fabiola, Fjälko and Hans!

I am proud to moo and I don’t care who hears me!

Is Fabiola Belgian?

Fabiola is probably down at the Gate where internet is spotty. She’s a flute playing Peruvian Heifer. At least, that’s what it says on her tinder profile.

Where are you moo cows today?

Anymoo, here is mOOO architecture competitions:

Moo, R114!

There has been a rash of mooerders lately, or so I have seen on the dubious deaths thread, and I’m wondering if some cows are laying low until it blows over? Personally, I think if a cow has killed someone, it’s probably for a pretty good reason.

Mercy! I forgot to moo, MOOOoo.

I killed a guy once. Tasted like chicken.

Homer, Earl and I have been snorkeling down at the pond.

Thanks for the picnic lunches, Phyllis.

On a sad note, Sheridan fell in the water and shrunk.

I think Tank pushed him.

Yes, but to be fair, Tommy the Bull told me there was an underwater dry cleaner down there, and Sheridan was smelling a little funky.

Sheridan dear,

For you and your boyfriend Wooly,

Come see me. I’ve worked out a style for your sudden shrinkage. Call LaFitte and he’ll arrange our appointment post haste.

Oh Roy, you are positively madcap and I love my new look.

(Thanks for the cut and color.)

You’re welcome, Sheridan!

Here’s Wooly and his little brothers after I got through with them.

It’s good, right?

Sheridan told me to butch it up for Wooly.

-Roy, mooo

Save the date! Cow Appreciation Day is July 14th. I know today’s not Monday, but this is important.

What are you doing for Cow Appreciation Day? And it is [italic] not [/italic] cancelled this year.

Very excited, Bertrand, we’re discussing ribbon colors right now.

Moo and SWAK,

We’ll need extra clover.

*** BREAKING *** MOO *** BREAKING ***

I just found this restaurant for cows in Boston. About time, as bovines are still an underserved community here. Did you know that Boston Common used to be a cow pasture? I have an ancestor who was one of the first cows to graze there. I’m mooved because I’m old enough to remember those signs in front of most retail businesses, stating “No Irish or Cows”. I’ve met a lot of Irish people. They’re not all rapists and murderers. Some of them, I assume, are good people. ☘️

I see Jenny had a birthday party at Mooo, which is confusing because that is definitely not an approved cow name. There have been complaints, is all I’m authorized to say on the matter.

Mooman,

Best thread-master ever.

[quote] R79: [R73] is Hopfgarten, Austria during the annual festival to celebrate bringing the girls down from the mountain pastures for winter. Its magnificent and good fun. Moo

That’s interesting because, some of you may recall, the story behind Brokeback Mountain was that the sheep were seasonally quartered in mountain pastures, too, and brought down the mountain as the season changed. I guess it’s a “thing”.

The O'Leary Legend

Late one night, when we were all in bed,

Mrs. O'Leary lit a lantern in the shed.

Her cow kicked it over,

Then winked her eye and said,

"There'll be a hot time in the

old town tonight!"

Ok, which one of you is this?

Bad cows

O’Leary was a drunk and a Trump supporter!

Moo!

A Message from MMM Social Committee:

We have extra snorkels down by the pond if any of you want to cool off.

Carl has assumed lifeguard duties so it really is in your best interest not to get in any trouble, if you know what I mean.

Later after sundown,

It’s Double Feature Movie Night at the barn! We’re playing “Cloverfield,” followed by “Scent of a Heifer.” Free popcorn! Mooyah!

And here’s Carl getting good hydration for all the lives he’ll save today. What a fine fellow. Well-meaning, certainly.

Moo, bitches!

Excellent, Melrose!

Moo!

That his all.

And so ends another episode of Monday Morning Moos.

OMG, Gals! It’s today! Today is Cow Appreciation Day! What are you doing? I’m going to the Mooo restaurant from R126. I’ve been saving for weeks. It’s very sophisticated dining!

Moo cows (aka future steaks), the Gentle Barn is love on Instagram.

Live not love.

Well, that Mooo restaurant was a bit of a disappointment. Cocktails were fine, though pricy. As for appetizer, just the standard iceberg lettuce or arugula. Asparagus, which is not date food, if you know what I mean. Eight varieties of potatoes. Sea food, but what kind of cow eats lobster? And cadavers, which I didn’t understand at all. I suppose it was supposed to be “art” of some kind. Hrumph. Ferdinand wanted to walk out, but I used to work in the biz, you know, so I insisted we at leave a dandelion as a tip. I gave them one hoof.

We went to the zoo after and Mother Moose made us peanut butter and lichen sandwiches which was just perfect. Five hooves for her!

So how was the sex?

None of your beeswax, R142! If that Is your real name!

Oh, moo, for Cow’s sake!

Goof day, Sir! Good Day Madam! Good day, you intersexed wonders! Have a happy day, and remember to hug a cow on your way about town! It will do you both wonders, I promise!

Mooo, bitches! Mooo!

It’s too hot to moo, sorry.

Condolences, Mortimer, that shouldn’t happen to a dog! No offenses Rolf.

Ahem. Moo.

Moo! Sorry to be late, it’s been complicated.

Thanks to this thread, I had a salad today.

Not bad, r150.

The sloppy joe thread has given me hives. Moo.

Moo?

Moo, Tank! Glad to have you onboard!

You moo cows are getting lazy and forgetful.

MOO! Where the heck has Gertie been?

Gertie’s vet has been trying to kill her since March. She went in there and “🔥Moooooed 🔥“ like a cow with distemper last Monday. She’s had pneumonia for 4 and 1/4 months during a deadly global pulmonary pandemic for Cow’s sake!

I really want to moo but it comes out like “Moo/cough/cough/wheeze/choke/cough/wheeze/cough/cough”. I may need a surrogate this month. Please submit your CV to the Christmas Moose at his office on Gramercy Park. Moosie has full power of attorney, though Lafitte is doing all the work, natch.

Sending out a moo to Gertie, feel better, old girl. If you aren't up to it, I volunteer to lead the mooing for you tomorrow.

I don't moo, of course, but my bagawk always gets a reply from one of you cows.

I'm up early anyway, I'll help!

I saw the headline and thought it was YET ANOTHER Chrissy Metz thread.

How can the Christmas Moose have an office on Gramercy Park on a docent's salary which is paid in peanuts? As we all know, being a DL/Mediapolis mascot isn't a high-paying gig and Santa pays slave wages at best for pulling his sleigh (although he pays more for pulling other things).

Moosie is a grand master high stakes whist player and dabbles in bitcoin. He is also a spokesmoose for Florsheim shoes and is really popular in Japan. They love him there.

It’s Monday so get crackin’, cows! Gertie, I made you chicken soup, feel better.

Moo, Phyllis. The power in our barn went out last Tuesday and we still don’t have it back, so a quick moo and I’m gone.

So, what is my name? Chopped liver?

Thank you, Phyllis and my barnyard friends. I’m feeling much better today. I can even “moo”, which I will get to in a moment.

It’s a good time to be a cow. I’m grateful for that. Moo!

Moo! Join us for gin and clover down at the gate, we’re welcoming back Gertie.

Except Gertie hasn’t shown up yet. Do you think she’s lost again?

She’s at the gate.

Am I too late?

I went to visit my friends the night Donkeys and their gal-pal the dwarf horse. I brought carrots, but ate them on the way. I could use a gin and clover, those girls are sober you know.

Nice house, though,

I woke up this morning too early, stretched, mooed and went back to sleep.

Mooo! Moo to all and please come back to the Gate to pick up your barn keys, Roy. No more gin and clover for you.

Moo, moo, moo! It’s so good to moo again. I see the ear, snout, and throat vet this week, Followed by the Pulmonologist, to see if I’ve finally cleared hoof and mouth disease from my system. I’ve had it since March, and I really want to speak with the manager about this because it shouldn’t have taken 5 months to diagnose and fix this.

It can make you susceptible to cowpox so I’ve had to be really careful about socializing this year. I completely missed the Newport yachting season. Well, there are better times to come.

Moo!

You have been missed, Gertie. Glad to hear you’re finally on the mend, I worried that someone had “taken you behind the barn,” so to speak. Moo to all, and thanks to those who chipped in to bail me out.

Let’s have a welcome-back-Gertie film fest down by the barn tonight.

Gertie’s choice, what do you say old girl?

Oh I forgot to moo at r174.

Moo and moo, to you and you and you

Ha! You expect me to believe that, Gertie?

Everyone knows you’ve been carrying on and floating around with Günther In his big balloon for weeks. AND you have hickeys.

Bad cow, Gertie, bad cow.

[quote] Leisl the Austrian

Is Leisl an approved name?

Thank you and moo, everyone.

R177 there are exceptions for foreign cow names. It can be very complicated. She seems nice enough, so I’m not going to fuss about it.

R174, how about either [italic] “Cloverfield“, [/italic] or perhaps [italic] “Children of the Corn”. [/italic]

And r176, I didn’t have any hickeys. I did have some ticks, I must confess, and that may have led to some confusion. That’s all cleared up now, too. Lyme test negative! Moo-moo!

My dentist asked me to postpone my routine visit until I get the “all clear” from the pulmonologist. My hairstylist, not Roy, he was in the hoosegow at the time, took my temperature before cutting my hair, and she wore a full facial shield. I had to cancel my Rolfer, just in case. This is the worst year ever.

[quote] hoosegow

Did you mean “house cow”?

Was Roy confined to barn-arrest?

I’m confined to the barn, yes, with a nose bracelet to track my wanderings.

I just feel bad for LaFitte who is stuck in his smock with no one to do. Sorry, buddy. Moo.

A couple of times a year I have to get my arm up a cow's vag.

Worth the tyke that comes out.

Roy, we like you just as you are. I’ve been your victim multiple times, yet many other times you’ve made me look just like a hot Phyllis Diller, and for that I thank you.

R183, it’s amazing that cows tolerate all that. Don’t vets stick their arms up their poopers too, to feel for a developing calf?

[quote] hot Phyllis Diller

Isn't that an oxy-mooron?

Moo cows, I think you can weigh in on the below-linked thread, and weigh you do.

Is T-Bone an approved name?

R188, are you a rapper? We’re trying to keep up with calfsters. If so, it will half to be debated at the next quarterly meeting. No promises, though.

***BREAKING NEWS*** Moo, Mooo

Though this edition of MMMs is not paywalled every second, it is paywalled multiple times a day.

***REPEAT: Moooo, moomoo mooooo.

If you are a locked out, please click the W/W button and Homer and Jane will come rescue you. Our rescue dog Rolf is away at the Westminster Dog Show, so we’re awaiting your ping. Hovering...hovering...

Heavens, three day weekends always muck me up.

Moo to all, and to Gertie, I’ve sent you a handsome clover arrangement suitable for health building.

I snorkeled all day and I caught a glimpse of Tank in his Speedo. A good day indeed.

And a belated thanks to Homer and Jane for the rescue. I noticed Carl riding atop the copter facing headwind, tell me he’s all right.

Carl insisted we needed a weathervane, Fabiola, and who’s to stop him anyway? Moooo.

A beautiful rescue by Homer and Jane. This looks like Thor, conformation?

Those paywalls are a bitch. Yes, comfirmed r195.

[quote] I’ve sent you a handsome clover arrangement suitable for health building.

[quote] conformation?

I’ve heard arguments against this, but I need “conformation” - is beef suitable for health building?

Confirmation, confirmed, we all know what we went, and NO.

No bouef.

Moo and thanks to Beauchamp Heronimus Bull of Newport for the clover arrangement.

OMG, I forgot to moo this morning. Publicly, anyway. So, Moo! Is everybody ok? Stretch and moo, you’ll feel much better.

I’m personally feeling better, but am sad about the hoof and mouth pandemic, and having a hard time with it.

Moo, glad to hear you’re on the mend, Gertie.

Big moo to all the bulls and heifers, autumn is on its way!

Moo. I like how these moo cow threads have been an apolitical DataLounge refuge from all the scary stuff out there. This year has sucked, as years go.

[quote] This year has sucked

As do calves.

Does r202 have an approved name?

Hi Tank. I’m Myrtle. How do you moo?

I like to dance, join me Myrtle

I like the dancing, Tank, but there’s a lot of flying that looks like it took a lot of practice.

All the flying was engineered by Carl, he’s good at that stuff. Mooo,

[quote] I like to dance, join me Myrtle

Dancing with the Steers.

Ok, let’s not get carried away, Günther R208. I can’t see Carl engineering a flyby.

To fly, all it takes is a light heart and clover gas for steerage.

(Myrtle seems unaquainted with the Slow-Boat Disaster of Cowcutta.)

(Moo)

Hello Myrtle from the yellow hens down by the barn

Hello, Myrtle.

Aww, I love you guys.

Moo manor

The milking shed

Milk vat

Hmm, R216.

If only I knew your name.

Gertie, you’re talking to yourself again. You should have that checked.

R218, but who are you?

Sorry Myrtle, it’s me, Tommy the Bull. Moo, Myrtle, a good moo to you.

Tommy and I are going to see the meat packers tonight, we’re so excited!

Uhh, Tommy I don’t think that means what you think it means...

[quote] Tommy and I are going to see the meat packers tonight

I hope their product stays fresh until it gets to my favorite steak house. Yummy!

Here’s a pig who became friends with a calf. Whoda thunk it?

Hello, Tommy the Bull. Get your hooves sharpened by Roy before you go, and you’ll be fine.

R224, I only thought that happened when pigs flew.

[quote] He has a voice with a weird tone nowadays, like a cow mooing in a field.

[quote] He clearly is turning into a cow. Or a pig! So it makes sense he sounds like those animals now.

I think Niall Horan may be joining this thread soon.

Why haven’t you moo cows posted today? Are you on your periods?

Those of us with manners allow Gertie the first courtesy Moo, r227. Moo.

Quite right, Tommy. Chivalry is everything, especially toward our Gertie.

Just a reminder that Roy’s Shampoo & Blow is taking reservations for the Fall. Mooo!

From Yelp about Roy’s:

🔔🔔🔔🔔 Warm water, free Diet Coke. 4 cowbells.

🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔 excellent attention to detail and all the up to date gossip

🔔🔔 just be sure to reserve on a non-hangover day

🔔🔔🔔🔔🔔 excellent massage from Lafitte!! Tiny hands, mighty wonders.

Oh shit! As soon as I saw this story I thought of a hiking experience a few years ago in Austria. I was in the Alps and the train went right by a group of cows grazing, and they weren't enclosed by a fence. Now I don't feel so stupid for being concerned and opting to go another way to avoid them.

How to shampoo your cow:

R233, don’t a kid cows. They taste delicious!

R233, don’t avoid cows. They taste delicious!

6 [quote] R228: Those of us with manners allow Gertie the first courtesy Moo, [R227]. Moo

Gosh, Tommy that’s quite nice of you. I was in the barn. I thought there was an assembly.

Moo.

R233, I think maybe that train should be enclosed by a fence, not the cows! Old trains used to have “cow catchers” on their front engine. That sounds nice.

Attached is a picture of Sextus. Are you still with us, honey? Then I think in the back, that’s Melrose, Horns, Penelope then I’m not sure.

Moo, of course,

Please ignore the man behind the curtain.

Moo! Moo!

It’s about fucking time one of you moo cows made an appearance.

I wrote a poem!

That’s very good, Mooya, and mooo to you and yours.

I know I’m late, which is ironic, but the paywall has been up all day.

Moo to those who can’t moo tonight... moo!

Who's been to the trampoline, and what can we do? Homer’s all agog about jumping over the moon and Jane Pauley is egging him on, probably for ratings.

Leave it to Jane, she’s just like that.

But he’s not thinking it through about the landing!

Somebody catch him, send the damn balloon!!

Sextus, should we moove to a new thread, or is the paywall a temporary thing? I have no idea how it works.

I say we moove on, captain. Paywalls and Primetime are different things of course, yet it can’t hurt to experiment this one time. Besides, I hear Mooriel likes you, that’s the gossip, anyway.

New thread, that’s our vote

Sextus, can we use this thread at the link? Or should we go with a new thread?

Negative, Gertie. That link is fenced.

Keep in mind that that could be a temporary Primetime wall, but at 1:15am EST, I doubt it. Strikes me as a permanent paywall by default (I could be wrong.)

I say start a new thread and we’ll see if more hems and cows can respond.

Of course I meant hens, not hems.

( I feel very “needed” right now and I secretly like it.)

We’re moving on up, on up, to a new thread due to paywall. I’m so excited!