Mooooo, I say!
|by Clarabelle||reply 600||06/04/2018|
|by Clarabelle||reply 1||05/20/2017|
Her are traditional names for cows. Please do not use new hip names for your cows without checking with the registration desk. Thank you.
|by Clarabelle||reply 2||05/20/2017|
Addendum: By popular demand, you may also use "Cupcake" as a name for your dairy cows, only. Thank you.
|by Clarabelle||reply 3||05/20/2017|
The Registration Desk has been overwhelmed with requests for manly bull names. These do not require pre-approval if you use them for your bull. Thank you. t Hydro
|by Clarabelle||reply 4||05/20/2017|
Thank you for your input, Dolly, if that[italic] is [/italic]your real name.
|by Clarabelle||reply 5||05/20/2017|
Melissa(f) and Melrose(m).
|by Clarabelle||reply 6||05/21/2017|
I like Melrose!
|by Clarabelle||reply 7||05/21/2017|
Don't try to milk him.
|by Clarabelle||reply 8||05/21/2017|
Maybe if she had Carnation instead of a martini...
|by Clarabelle||reply 9||05/21/2017|
Bitch you forgot about me.
Don't let it happen again.
This will be your final warning.
|by Clarabelle||reply 10||05/21/2017|
|by Clarabelle||reply 11||05/21/2017|
|by Clarabelle||reply 12||05/21/2017|
Hrumph. 400,000 visitors, and no response?
|by Clarabelle||reply 13||05/21/2017|
Moo. Moo! MOOOOOO!
|by Clarabelle||reply 14||05/21/2017|
I knew I could rely on you, R14! You always come through! Thank you!
|by Clarabelle||reply 15||05/21/2017|
r8 Ah, a Robert Mitchum fan?
|by Clarabelle||reply 16||05/21/2017|
Bull name nomination: Max Von Essen
|by Clarabelle||reply 17||05/21/2017|
Confusing the kids.
|by Clarabelle||reply 18||05/21/2017|
Bulls must have multiple tits, right?
|by Clarabelle||reply 19||05/21/2017|
The last lines of THE KILLING OF SISTER GEORGE (68), in fact.
|by Clarabelle||reply 20||05/21/2017|
|by Clarabelle||reply 21||05/21/2017|
Aww, I love Belle!
|by Clarabelle||reply 22||05/21/2017|
Mooooo! I say Sir!
|by Clarabelle||reply 23||05/22/2017|
I've never actually seen the end. Is it true George runs around the set of the kiddies' show destroying the set?
|by Clarabelle||reply 24||05/22/2017|
Watch out for that bull's semen.
|by Clarabelle||reply 25||05/22/2017|
R2, why so many names that end in "t".
|by Clarabelle||reply 26||05/22/2017|
R26, I think that was used for a "tab" in the source I grabbed it from. Ignore the trailing "t", please.
|by Clarabelle||reply 27||05/22/2017|
|by Clarabelle||reply 28||05/22/2017|
Mooooooooo I say...I say MOOOOOOO !
|by Clarabelle||reply 29||05/22/2017|
[quote] Mooooooooo I say...I say MOOOOOOO !
Mooooooooo I say...I say MOOOOOOOSE! Not affiliated with
|by Clarabelle||reply 30||05/22/2017|
I completely agree, OP!
|by Clarabelle||reply 31||05/22/2017|
Who is "Sister George"? That's not a pre-approved name, btw.
|by Clarabelle||reply 32||05/22/2017|
|by Clarabelle||reply 33||05/22/2017|
The best part is when Sister George gets drunk and feels up those nuns in the taxi.
But that causes her character to get killed off as she rides her bicycle, singing, "all things bright and beautiful, all creatures great and small." Then we hear the ominous music, and see the panel van aiming for her......
can always play that cow on the kiddies' show.
And the big lez, Coral Browne, who demotes her also steals her pretty girlfriend Susannah York.
Moooo mooo moooooooooo!
|by Clarabelle||reply 34||05/22/2017|
I had to play Caroline and moo every fucking night for my little bratty sister, Slutty June. It was humiliating.
|by Clarabelle||reply 35||05/22/2017|
Thank you, Moo-lover.
|by Clarabelle||reply 36||05/22/2017|
You have exposed yourself, R30! Haha! I shall have a filet mignon to celebrate.
|by Clarabelle||reply 37||05/22/2017|
[quote] And the big lez, Coral Browne,
That's my wife, the actress, Coral Browne.
|by Clarabelle||reply 38||05/22/2017|
She played a lesbian in that particular movie, Mr. Price
|by Clarabelle||reply 39||05/22/2017|
I have a Vincent Price autograph around here somewhere. He addressed the envelope himself. It has this "old man" chicken-scratch handwriting on it. I was pretty moved to get it.
|by Clarabelle||reply 40||05/22/2017|
[quote] She played a lesbian in that particular movie, Mr. Price
She's still my wife, the actress, Coral Browne.
|by Clarabelle||reply 41||05/22/2017|
Good Lord, aren't you both dead?
|by Clarabelle||reply 42||05/22/2017|
Vincent Price and Coral Browne were a lavender couple. Coral Browne got to play with Susannah York's snapper on film, thus the X rating. Vincent Price never got to play with my parts. On film.
|by Clarabelle||reply 43||05/22/2017|
[quote] Good Lord, aren't you both dead?
Yes and with the funk of forty thousand years.
|by Clarabelle||reply 44||05/22/2017|
|by Clarabelle||reply 45||06/05/2017|
Tony Curtis is dead too. At least he got to be on The Flintstones.
|by Clarabelle||reply 46||06/05/2017|
Monday morning Moo.
|by Clarabelle||reply 47||06/11/2017|
More Moos for your morning commute.
|by Clarabelle||reply 48||06/18/2017|
It's a moo point. Yeah, it's like a cow's opinion...
|by Clarabelle||reply 49||06/19/2017|
|by Clarabelle||reply 50||06/19/2017|
I am early this week with your Monday morning "Moo" because I wanted to give you all advance notice that Tuesday, 7/11, is Cow Appreciation Day, in case you needed advanced notice.
|by Clarabelle||reply 51||07/08/2017|
OP has stated her Bov-oundaries.
|by Clarabelle||reply 52||07/08/2017|
Diesel is a great name and may i just add
|by Clarabelle||reply 53||07/08/2017|
Your fascination with other mammalian species fascinates me!
A former boyfriend grew up on a dairy farm in Kentucky, and shared with me the alarming anecdote that the barn cats often slept on the backs of the cows during the winter, to benefit from the shared heat. But they had no defense when a cow would roll onto its side while sleeping, and there were times that, during the morning milking, one of the cows would arrive with a flattened kitty stuck to its side.
|by Clarabelle||reply 54||07/08/2017|
R51 OH i love that bone player and ALL the beautiful moo's that came for the concert!!
The Moo Fest rules.
|by Clarabelle||reply 55||07/08/2017|
R54, I will have my fascination with other mammals until the cows come home.
Do you know why they say that? Because cows don't ever come home. You have to go out and get them. Or maybe, train them with a tuba.
|by Clarabelle||reply 56||07/08/2017|
This thread gets 56 responses? My fucking god this site is filled with nothing but braindead Hillbots.
|by Clarabelle||reply 57||07/08/2017|
[quote}This thread gets 56 responses? My fucking god this site is filled with nothing but braindead Hillbots.
Fuck off with your political obsessions! This thread is for tetrapod lovers of all persuasions.
|by Clarabelle||reply 58||07/08/2017|
Thank you, R58, and Moo to you, good sir!
|by Clarabelle||reply 59||07/08/2017|
Hello. I'm noo to this moo, may i moo with yoo?
|by Clarabelle||reply 60||07/08/2017|
Growing up my dad did his own slaughtering of beef cows (Angus). Every year he'd buy two calves at auction. We were discouraged from giving them names, but being younger children we did: Uno and Dos.
My dad said if we were to have given them traditional names, names that had emotional attachment for us, it would have been PTSD big time in later years.
To this day I don't eat red meat.
|by Clarabelle||reply 61||07/08/2017|
R60, I would be honored if you would Moo with me. And I don't mean honored in the sense that I'd be honored to meet with a murdering Russian dictator or play host in DC to an enslaving North Korean despot.
|by Clarabelle||reply 62||07/08/2017|
And a good Moo to you, Sir.
|by Clarabelle||reply 63||07/08/2017|
If "Sister George" was a bar in Vermont, they'd be forced to change the name.
|by Clarabelle||reply 64||07/08/2017|
|by Clarabelle||reply 65||07/08/2017|
Moo moo gai pan
|by Clarabelle||reply 66||07/08/2017|
"Oink, oink I say"
|by Clarabelle||reply 67||07/08/2017|
Move along little piggy, nothing to see here.
|by Clarabelle||reply 68||07/08/2017|
All bound for Moo Moo Land!
|by Clarabelle||reply 69||07/08/2017|
R68 sir or madame you stand corrected, there is always something to see on the Datalounge.!
|by Clarabelle||reply 70||07/08/2017|
The pig should maybe stay.
|by Clarabelle||reply 71||07/08/2017|
But I say, why take the pig when all you want is a little sausage.
|by Clarabelle||reply 72||07/08/2017|
KLF rocks!! and not to be a buzz kill but it is MU MU Land but hey close enough!!
|by Clarabelle||reply 73||07/09/2017|
This thread is NOT FUNNY
I'll be that fairy, Craig, started this whole thing.
|by Clarabelle||reply 74||07/09/2017|
It's here, it's here, it Cow Appreciation Day!
July 11th! Happy Cow Appreciation Day, everybody!
|by Clarabelle||reply 75||07/10/2017|
What are you all doing to express your appreciation for the cow in your life?
I'm going to cook a pound of bacon.
|by Clarabelle||reply 76||07/11/2017|
A good moo to you, too, sir! Cows are daring. Cows are brave. Today I will kiss and hug a cow. Mooo.
|by Clarabelle||reply 77||07/11/2017|
And a happy Moo to you, too, R77!
|by Clarabelle||reply 78||07/11/2017|
R78, amoung the DL, there seems to be not enough cow appreciation today.
I snub them. And I snuggle each and every cow I meet in return. Carry on.
|by Clarabelle||reply 79||07/11/2017|
|by Clarabelle||reply 80||07/11/2017|
|by Clarabelle||reply 81||07/11/2017|
Well said, Sir, R79. I have been congratulating and thanking cows all day. I've shaken many a hoof this fine afternoon.
|by Clarabelle||reply 82||07/11/2017|
Good day to you, R82. I believe I may be a recipient of your hoofshake this fine afternoon.
Moo to you, too, sir, and Good Moo to all.
|by Clarabelle||reply 83||07/11/2017|
With nine minutes remaining, I wish to thank you, Sir. It's been a most auspicious day. I have felt the love of a thousand cows straining, and i return your Moo with a heartfelt Moooo.
|by Clarabelle||reply 84||07/11/2017|
Cows produce a lot of methane without which I am quite sure we would surely be sorry.
|by Clarabelle||reply 85||07/11/2017|
|by Clarabelle||reply 86||07/11/2017|
So long, farewell cows. Aufweidersein good moo.
|by Clarabelle||reply 87||07/11/2017|
And the clock strikes midnight. Goodnight, cows!
|by Clarabelle||reply 88||07/11/2017|
I didn't eat any red meat today.
|by Clarabelle||reply 89||07/11/2017|
In flyover land - second largest moo juice source in the country, behind California - it is only eleventy o'clock.
7/11 - a day we shall never regret!
|by Clarabelle||reply 90||07/11/2017|
That was all very exciting and satisfying. A special shout-out to Wisconsin. Until next year - MOO!
|by Clarabelle||reply 91||07/12/2017|
Every day doin' a MOO is a fabulous day!
|by Clarabelle||reply 92||07/12/2017|
R92, I couldn't agree more. I think every day should be Cow Appreciation Day. Moo!
|by Clarabelle||reply 93||07/13/2017|
Moo Means Moo
|by Clarabelle||reply 94||07/13/2017|
|by Clarabelle||reply 95||07/15/2017|
Best Wishes from the Lost Continent of Mu!
|by Clarabelle||reply 96||07/15/2017|
Thank you for your contribution, R96.
|by Clarabelle||reply 97||07/15/2017|
A good Saturday night Moo to you all. I hope the day has treated you well!
|by Clarabelle||reply 98||07/15/2017|
Thank you ever so, I have had a completely Moovelous day and evening. Moo Moo Moo.
|by Clarabelle||reply 99||07/16/2017|
A late night sad Moo to you all, in rememberance of a casualty of a Ram vs. Cow dispute.
|by Clarabelle||reply 100||07/18/2017|
See, we can all get along.
|by Clarabelle||reply 101||07/20/2017|
Good Moo to you all! Have a nice week! Moo!
|by Clarabelle||reply 102||07/24/2017|
This is a limited edition Monday Moo.
|by Clarabelle||reply 103||07/24/2017|
Blue Moo, I knew just what you were there for......
|by Clarabelle||reply 104||07/24/2017|
Good Moo everyone! Happy Moooday.
I'm in the moood for love, winkwink.
|by Clarabelle||reply 105||07/24/2017|
I wish Moo Monday could be every day. I'm stressed!
|by Clarabelle||reply 106||07/24/2017|
Pussy Cow, Pussy Cow, Pussy Cow!
|by Clarabelle||reply 107||07/24/2017|
There's no need to be vulgar, R107.
|by Clarabelle||reply 108||07/24/2017|
|by Clarabelle||reply 109||07/24/2017|
Well, the "Moos" did pick me up, thank God.
I hope you have all had an outstanding day and it's not too late to do so! If all else fails, go to a drive in movie!
|by Clarabelle||reply 110||07/24/2017|
Do bulls "Moo"?
|by Clarabelle||reply 111||07/24/2017|
We've no time to sit and dither while her withers wither with her.
|by Clarabelle||reply 112||07/24/2017|
|by Clarabelle||reply 113||07/24/2017|
I will ponder that, R112, while I Moo. Thank you for your contribution!
|by Clarabelle||reply 114||07/24/2017|
That's lovely, R113.
|by Clarabelle||reply 115||07/24/2017|
Good day to you, DataLounge! Here is your Monday "Moo". It's all the "Moos" you should need to see you through your week.
Here is a bonus "Moo" for the ladies:
|by Clarabelle||reply 116||08/07/2017|
Good day, good day! I almost forgot to wish you all a good "Moo" Monday! Consider it done!
|by Clarabelle||reply 117||08/14/2017|
Neigh, neigh I say to such nonsense.
|by Clarabelle||reply 118||08/14/2017|
Moo and hello, Buttercup, so good to see you back.
|by Clarabelle||reply 119||08/14/2017|
Dear Sir, Dear Madam,
I am mooevd to wish you all a happy moo-Monday.
|by Clarabelle||reply 120||08/21/2017|
They're killing themselves!
|by Clarabelle||reply 121||08/21/2017|
Alpenhorn for Moo Monday!
|by Clarabelle||reply 122||08/21/2017|
I adore Monday Moos, OP, and you as well. This moo is for you. Mooooo!
|by Clarabelle||reply 123||08/21/2017|
|by Clarabelle||reply 124||08/21/2017|
Better save room for popcorn! We're going to the Mooooovies!
|by Clarabelle||reply 125||08/21/2017|
Happy moo Monday.
Here are some cows and a hula-hoop.
Good night, Sir and Madam!
|by Clarabelle||reply 126||09/04/2017|
|by Clarabelle||reply 127||09/09/2017|
Good day, Sir! Good day, Madam! Here for your Monday morning Moo, are Cows With Their Heads Caught in Things.
And now, I shall take my leave! Moo!
|by Clarabelle||reply 128||09/11/2017|
Please visit the heifer in R127. I suspect she is under appreciated and you don't know what you're missing.
|by Clarabelle||reply 129||09/11/2017|
Good day, kind Sir and Madam!
|by Clarabelle||reply 130||09/18/2017|
|by Clarabelle||reply 131||09/23/2017|
|by Clarabelle||reply 132||09/25/2017|
Annual cow conclave elicits joy, onlookers.
|by Clarabelle||reply 133||09/27/2017|
That's what Op's mother said.
|by Clarabelle||reply 134||09/27/2017|
|by Clarabelle||reply 135||10/02/2017|
This is a window cow.
I think I missed a Moo last Monday. My apologies, good sir and madam!
|by Clarabelle||reply 136||10/06/2017|
Express Monday Mooo!
|by Clarabelle||reply 137||10/09/2017|
Don’t be fooled!
|by Clarabelle||reply 138||10/13/2017|
Here’s another cow.
|by Clarabelle||reply 139||10/13/2017|
|by Clarabelle||reply 140||10/13/2017|
|by Clarabelle||reply 141||10/13/2017|
Poo accuser strikes!
|by Clarabelle||reply 142||10/14/2017|
|by Clarabelle||reply 143||10/16/2017|
"Poo accuser strikes!
—I have arrived!"
Sorry, but no. No one has been accused of anything. You are clearly too new here to realize that to be accused of being Poo, the accuser has to type "J'ACCUSE POO!."
|by Clarabelle||reply 144||10/16/2017|
Some day, I will arrive!
|by Clarabelle||reply 145||10/16/2017|
For those of you who don’t like Moo Mondays.
|by Clarabelle||reply 146||10/18/2017|
What a lovely contribution, R143, thank you.
And OP? This is my favorite thread. Mooo.
|by Clarabelle||reply 147||10/26/2017|
R147, he registration desk has approved “Lilith”. You are in!
|by Clarabelle||reply 148||10/27/2017|
Tuuu! Because Monday Moos were sadly overlooked yesterday.
Happy Tuesday to all and best of luck in your trick-or-treating tonight.
Just stay away from Farmer John's place because last year he gave out jerky and his breath smelled alot like my lost dad.
|by Clarabelle||reply 149||10/31/2017|
Announcement from the Monday Moo Steering Committee:
In reference to Delilah's post, cows are revered in India. Slow boat leaving tonight. Assemble at the north gate. Pack a lunch. No pushing, no shoving. Tap dance lessons provided free of charge on the promenade. Beginners welcome. Complimentary corsages for the ladies. You know who you are.
|by Clarabelle||reply 150||10/31/2017|
|by Clarabelle||reply 151||10/31/2017|
|by Clarabelle||reply 152||10/31/2017|
Thank you Mooers, I needed some levity.
|by Clarabelle||reply 153||10/31/2017|
Good evening and a hearty moo from the slow boat. I would like to thank whoever provided the fingerbowls at tonight's buffet, how very thoughtful.
My question is for housekeeping: while my room is lovely and I do think your accomodations are tops, I was a bit put off to find a pig in my blanket, is that standard? He seems to be a fine fellow and even friendly to a fault, but he is still, you know, a pig.
Thank you. Moo.
|by Clarabelle||reply 154||10/31/2017|
A Boo Moo to Yoo All.
|by Clarabelle||reply 155||10/31/2017|
Ah yes, Melrose, it seems you've met Carl. Short, pink, ruddy complexion? Used to sell insurance door to door? Plays the ukele?
He's harmless overall and a good chap. Took a hit to the head back in '93, something about high wind and coconuts. He'll wander off soon enough. I wouldn't worry.
|by Clarabelle||reply 156||10/31/2017|
There are rumours circulating that there is a moose onboard who has stowed-away disguised as a Guernsey. If you see a particularly tall, thin Guernsey, do not approach on your own as said moose may have distemper and particularly bad breath. Please advise your steward. Thank you.
|by Clarabelle||reply 157||11/02/2017|
|by Clarabelle||reply 158||11/02/2017|
I met a svelte, sour-breathed cow just last night, kisses like a chicken.
|by Clarabelle||reply 159||11/02/2017|
Dammit, Ferdinand, stepping out on me again, are you? You think I don't read these posts?? Well, mister man, there will be no wheat grass for YOU tonight. Not tonight, not tomorrow, not for the rest of your life. I hope you die! I hope you die soon! I'll be waiting for you to die!
|by Clarabelle||reply 160||11/02/2017|
^ Well, I see the Bickerson's have boarded. Gin is a terrible thing. How long til we reach port? Mooo.
|by Clarabelle||reply 161||11/02/2017|
Meow—I mean, woof!
|by Clarabelle||reply 162||11/02/2017|
R154, Didn't you mean "acowmodations"?
|by Clarabelle||reply 163||11/02/2017|
[quote] R159: I met a svelte, sour-breathed cow just last night, kisses like a chicken.
That’s him! Grab him!
|by Clarabelle||reply 164||11/03/2017|
When once opening my locker at the gym, I thought this stranger was a bit too close. After showering, I put my pants on, and my wallet was in the wrong pocket. Obviously I had a credit card stolen. I immediately called. They asked, “Did you buy three scarfs at Prada?”. No, so I called the Prada store a mile away. The thrives had charged the items literally in the last minute. Reflexively I said, “He’s still in the store, grab him!” Of course they did not grab him.
|by Clarabelle||reply 165||11/03/2017|
Oh, here’s a gratuitous moo: moo!
|by Clarabelle||reply 166||11/03/2017|
Hello...I have lost my dear Bossie, Bossie the cow. If you see a Holstein with pearls and smoking Ports...tell her I miss her! Thank you, and good night!
|by Clarabelle||reply 167||11/03/2017|
R167, was she wearing her bell?
|by Clarabelle||reply 168||11/04/2017|
Good evening Sir! Good evening Madam! May you have a fine night, and Moo!
|by Clarabelle||reply 169||11/06/2017|
Good Sir, please enjoy this surprisingly good cow art, and moo!
|by Clarabelle||reply 170||11/06/2017|
tap tap tap... Is this thing on? ... Greetings from third class on the slow boat.
Yes, we"re Irish.
No, we haven't measured. Yes, orange is a thing.
Oh shit, was that you, Roy? Roy?
|by Clarabelle||reply 171||11/06/2017|
Moo to you, R171.
|by Clarabelle||reply 172||11/06/2017|
And a warm moo back to you, Miss Melissa, I am sorry about my Roy.
|by Clarabelle||reply 173||11/06/2017|
Oh so we're blaming me now, are we?
Randolf, I loved you, I truly did, but now it's over. FINISHED.
I am in in love with Carly Simon now. Dear God I always have been. I know nothing stays the same, but if you're willing to play the game..
|by Clarabelle||reply 174||11/06/2017|
I believe in love!
|by Clarabelle||reply 175||11/06/2017|
Will someone tell the steward there’s a methane buildup below the lido deck?
|by Clarabelle||reply 176||11/07/2017|
Hello Moo, r167 here. She was of course wearing her bell...it rings C#. Thank You for looking r168. You are a gentle cow and a scholar!
|by Clarabelle||reply 177||11/12/2017|
Did she make boat, R177? I’m very concerned. My neighbor is a gargoyle and BBQs steaks on the weekends.
|by Clarabelle||reply 178||11/12/2017|
Good day Sir, Good day Madam, I bid you an early morning Moooo! For those of you on the slow boat, we’ll be docking in short order!
|by Clarabelle||reply 179||11/12/2017|
"The Christmas Moose," my ass -
|by Clarabelle||reply 180||11/12/2017|
R180, the Christmas Moose is only 4. I think your Polaroid is older than that. And you’re off topic! Only Monday morning Moos here, please!
|by Clarabelle||reply 181||11/12/2017|
Guten moorgen from Austria
|by Clarabelle||reply 182||11/12/2017|
Why didn't we dock yet? We thought we were docking yesterday.
And why is a pig steering the boat?
And who stole my blanket?
|by Clarabelle||reply 183||11/14/2017|
Somebody told Carl that ham is a delicacy in India. NOT true, and NOT funny, Roy!
|by Clarabelle||reply 184||11/14/2017|
Do they eat ham in India? The people who don’t eat beef, I mean. The Muslims there obviously don’t eat ham. Carl, rest easy about that.
There’s a theory that Julius Caesar’s seizures resulted from brain worms he got from eating pork in Eqypt when wooing Cleopatra. Worms were endemic there at the time. I think he might have been the most interesting man in history.
|by Clarabelle||reply 185||11/14/2017|
If I were a cow in R182, those bells would drive me crazy. Doesn’t anyone think of the cows? Sheesh!
|by Clarabelle||reply 186||11/14/2017|
R186, You can get a decent pork vindaloo in Goa, and a few other areas too, but for the most part, the majority of the Indian populi don't eat it. Pork is considered unclean, if not downright filthy. And true about the brain worms! Sorry, Carl. Really I am.
|by Clarabelle||reply 187||11/14/2017|
Terrific. Meanwhile, he's steering us around in circles. At least the gulls are amused.
|by Clarabelle||reply 188||11/14/2017|
I have a crush on Carl. I’ll marry him and take him back to America. Do you think he’ll get fat?
|by Clarabelle||reply 189||11/14/2017|
Ahoy, Herschel. You are right to have a crush on Carl, I can't imagine who wouldn't. Such a gentleman.
I slow-danced with him the other night at the Simply Red Social. He has a winsome, buoyant sincerity in his eyes, with just a hint of frailty. If I weren't wired to love heifers I would scoop him up myself.
I hope you make him happy, Herschel. He's a sweet little piggy. Moo.
|by Clarabelle||reply 190||11/15/2017|
Cupcake, Are you sure we’re writing about the same Carl?
Moo to you, too!
|by Clarabelle||reply 191||11/15/2017|
Herschel, maybe you need to get to know Carl better.
After the slow-dance, he busted some moves to Sylvester that left us flabbergasted. This piggy has moves.
Aside from that, what exactly are you suggesting?
|by Clarabelle||reply 192||11/15/2017|
OOo, Ooo I saw that, too, Cupcake! Spinning on the dance floor to Mighty Real, not once losing his fedora.
I must say I was impressed.
|by Clarabelle||reply 193||11/15/2017|
Suggesting nothing! I just thought that coconut might have done a little more damage. But I don’t care! I love him! That’s all that matters!
|by Clarabelle||reply 194||11/15/2017|
Oh Herschel, don't you worry. I hardly know him myself. All is well.
Meanwhile, I have an idea to float out to the cows and bulls:
I can't believe I'm suggesting this, but would you all consider changing our destination? Is anyone really heart-set on Cowcutta? I personally am having the time of my life with all of you right here. Those smirking gulls piss me off a little but I could overcome.
Maybe Sampson would consider moderating the discussion?
Thanks, and mooo
|by Clarabelle||reply 195||11/15/2017|
I am okay with a discussion, but will there be doughnuts? These discussions tend to go on...
|by Clarabelle||reply 196||11/15/2017|
“Buttercup” is now officially approved as a name for all cows, by acclamation.
|by Clarabelle||reply 197||11/15/2017|
That's my mom's name. Will you please approve me?
|by Clarabelle||reply 198||11/15/2017|
You can resubmit your request if you’re a little clearer.
|by Clarabelle||reply 199||11/15/2017|
BeeChum HerONimus Bull
Like it's my fault you didn't grow up in Newport.
|by Clarabelle||reply 200||11/15/2017|
Oh, ok, R200. Whatever.
|by Clarabelle||reply 201||11/15/2017|
Now what?! A number of turkeys have been found stowed away in the engine room. No wonder we’re listing. What’s next, turnips in the map room?
|by Clarabelle||reply 202||11/15/2017|
Hello, Mooo, this is Sampson. Tap tap tap.
I would be delighted to moderate any discussion of a destination change.
First order of business is there WILL be doughnuts, and every recommendation will be addressed, be it doughnut, destination or otherwise.
Second order of business is firing our drunken registrar, please vote yes or no.
Third order of business, and perhaps the most important, is what do we do with Carl.
I now yield the floor.
|by Clarabelle||reply 203||11/15/2017|
On this moomentous occasion, the opening of the new dairy, the third largest dairy in Judy Garland, Iowa, let me just say that I speak for all of us when I say we all offer you an Ioway welcome: a Mootacular cheddar and a Muscatine Muscatel. May your business prosper and your teats never give out.
|by Clarabelle||reply 204||11/15/2017|
Oh ffs, Roy.
|by Clarabelle||reply 205||11/15/2017|
Moderator? I propose throwing Roy overboard, and send Ferdinand with him.
I also propose jelly donuts, and an end to this speculation about ticketless turkeys. Every engine room turkey I've met has been hardworking and kind. Extremely stupid, but hardworking and kind.
|by Clarabelle||reply 206||11/15/2017|
I've always wanted to see the Northern Lights. Is Carl okay to steer us northward?
|by Clarabelle||reply 207||11/15/2017|
R206 = ticketless Turkey
|by Clarabelle||reply 208||11/15/2017|
I'd like to read more about the Simply Red Social, and how come I never knew about this in advance.
Do you have to be red?
|by Clarabelle||reply 209||11/15/2017|
Clarabelle! Why are we greying out?
|by Clarabelle||reply 210||11/15/2017|
PASSINGERS, ITS A COOKBOOK!
|by Clarabelle||reply 211||11/15/2017|
But what will become of Carl?!
|by Clarabelle||reply 212||11/15/2017|
No! Not Carl!
|by Clarabelle||reply 213||11/15/2017|
R211 is a false flag. She’s just afraid of Thanksgiving. In India, no less.
|by Clarabelle||reply 214||11/15/2017|
False flag or not, Bessie, we are greying out. We are greying out!
|by Clarabelle||reply 215||11/15/2017|
Hmm, a little help, please. “Greying out”? I can’t find a meaning that makes sense in this context.
|by Clarabelle||reply 216||11/15/2017|
Carl! Calm down! All this circling is giving me Vertigo!
On TCM, now, incidentially.
|by Clarabelle||reply 217||11/15/2017|
To whom shall we moo, R216? An introduction, please.
"Greying out" means there is a cruel, passive-aggressive line running through Clarabelle's original post and her words are disappearing. For godssake look at it!
A slow leak is opening in our boat and we're threatened with sinking.
Imagine dead, Speedo-less cows strewn through the ocean. And a lone pig. That is what we're facing. That is why we're fighting.
|by Clarabelle||reply 218||11/15/2017|
Hi Mister Stewart, I always loved your poetry on the Johnny Carson.
Would you have a poem to share with those of us facing an imminent watery grave?
|by Clarabelle||reply 219||11/15/2017|
Oh, I noticed that, too, Bertram. Who could do such a thing? I mean that, who? Now I’m frightened. Thank God I’ve got my bell on.
|by Clarabelle||reply 220||11/15/2017|
Ooo! It's Jimmy! Jimmy's here! Hi Jimmy!
|by Clarabelle||reply 221||11/15/2017|
R219, I saw Jimmy Stewart’s last poetry reading on Carson, live. It was cute. He looked like he was gonna keel over.
Moo to all of you. Best of luck getting to shore!
|by Clarabelle||reply 222||11/15/2017|
Thank yo, R222! May we have an introduction? I am Sampson.
Considering our imminent drowning, perhaps you would distract us with a Jimmy Stewart poem or two? We would also accept an anecdote of your experience at Carson Studios, both real or imagined.
Good day, sir! Thank you sir! Please save Carl.
|by Clarabelle||reply 223||11/15/2017|
Miss Leah, just remember your cowbell while floating on a board. It worked for me. Blessings.
|by Clarabelle||reply 224||11/15/2017|
R223, it’s me, John.
|by Clarabelle||reply 225||11/15/2017|
Our "DL Moooo Spokesperson" and the "DL Christmas Moose" are so jealous of me; this is the only gig they can book. Tragic. Whereas, me -- I'm laughing all the way to the bank!
Do you like my earrings?
|by Clarabelle||reply 226||11/15/2017|
IMPOSTER! R225 is not me! I’m R223. I’m Maud. The Registration Desk won’t approve my name because it doesn’t end with a vowel. What’s with that? Did you notice? I noticed.
I can’t come up with a Stewart poem at the moment. Can you postpone drowning until tomorrow?
|by Clarabelle||reply 227||11/15/2017|
Oh, John. Our dear John. How are things on the other side?
Do address me as Sampson.
I remember you best in your light-colored jackets, you remain my inspiration. Once you died, celebrity tennis died. It's burned into my brain.
|by Clarabelle||reply 228||11/15/2017|
Wait. John is not Johnny Carson?
This is a cruel death indeed. Frowny face.
|by Clarabelle||reply 229||11/15/2017|
All I want for Christmas is bacon.
It just fitting, some how.
|by Clarabelle||reply 230||11/15/2017|
I think John was the PMBT.
Johnny is too mean to come back and say “hello”. I have that on good authority.
Do any of you know why Leah got a waiver from the Registration Desk? Look it up. My great aunt was named Leah. She travelled the world on a boat, too, spreading the Gospel to France, South Africa, and Melbourne. True fact.
|by Clarabelle||reply 231||11/15/2017|
Maud, I am a little bristled that you would say you were me at R227. Please state your porpoise.
|by Clarabelle||reply 232||11/15/2017|
R226, I don’t think you needed to drag the Christmas Moose into this. He’s on the other side of the world. But yes, I do love your earrings.
|by Clarabelle||reply 233||11/15/2017|
Ahem. Has our Carl been forgotten? Sampson, I am disappointed with you. You are supposed to be our Moderator and our Voice of Reason. And now look at you with your jokes, while the clock ticks and time runs out. You were salmon special to me. Still, I really caribou you.
|by Clarabelle||reply 234||11/15/2017|
|by Clarabelle||reply 235||11/16/2017|
Get your moo on, cows!
|by Clarabelle||reply 236||11/20/2017|
Really it wasn't so bad.
|by Clarabelle||reply 237||11/20/2017|
Thank you R236. I would have “Mooed” earlier, but I was tied up at the barn.
|by Clarabelle||reply 238||11/20/2017|
Oh, dear, that boat excursion did not end well. Where’s Carl?
|by Clarabelle||reply 239||11/20/2017|
“Suggestions”? How about, “save them!”
|by Clarabelle||reply 240||11/20/2017|
The last I saw Carl, a seabird was directing him eastward, yet he kept heading south.
Oh, Carl, how like you. Godspeed, friend.
|by Clarabelle||reply 241||11/20/2017|
R238, The name “Kirsten” is NOT approved. Good Lord almighty! I will call you Dolly, recently approved by acclimation at the cow conclave. Generally, names for 19th century whores are pre-approved unless otherwise prohibited. Thank-you.
|by Clarabelle||reply 242||11/20/2017|
Dolly is a lovely name.
|by Clarabelle||reply 243||11/20/2017|
Sarah! Go back to the barn!
|by Clarabelle||reply 244||11/20/2017|
[quote] R157: ...There are rumours circulating that there is a moose onboard who has stowed-away disguised as a Guernsey.
I found him! It’s Moosifer! Somebody grab him before he wrecks Thanksgiving!
|by Clarabelle||reply 245||11/21/2017|
|by Clarabelle||reply 246||11/23/2017|
Best Thanksgiving Ever.
|by Clarabelle||reply 247||11/23/2017|
Just because I felt like it.
|by Clarabelle||reply 248||11/23/2017|
All I want for Christmas, is “Moo”.
|by Clarabelle||reply 249||11/24/2017|
|by Clarabelle||reply 250||11/26/2017|
[quote] he registration desk
I demand equality. I demand justice.
|by Clarabelle||reply 251||11/26/2017|
Good Sir, I demand satisfaction!
|by Clarabelle||reply 252||11/26/2017|
It’s, Zir, R252. That is my preferred pronoun.
|by Clarabelle||reply 253||11/26/2017|
[quote] Hello...I have lost my dear Bossie, Bossie the cow.
R167 = Oscow Wilde
|by Clarabelle||reply 254||11/26/2017|
We bought a moo!
|by Clarabelle||reply 255||11/26/2017|
Moo, moo, moo! I’ll say.
|by Clarabelle||reply 256||11/26/2017|
Moooo, to you too, Judy!
Are you performing at the Cow Palace, by any chance? I imagine it’s dreamy and filled with jewels that adorn the ceiling like stars in the sky. I bet they have solid gold food troughs. I’d love to visit there sometime, as soon as I can find a spot here with no barbed wire.
|by Clarabelle||reply 257||11/27/2017|
No Monday morning moos?
|by Clarabelle||reply 258||11/27/2017|
Oh, Good Zir, R258, by gosh, there were early morning Monday Moos from Japan at R250!
Consider this compensation:
Moo, moo, mooooo!
|by Clarabelle||reply 259||11/27/2017|
Not anyone I know.
|by Clarabelle||reply 260||12/01/2017|
Moo! Moo! Moo!
|by Clarabelle||reply 261||12/04/2017|
Moo! Moo! Moo!
|by Clarabelle||reply 262||12/04/2017|
Moo! Moo! Moo!
|by Clarabelle||reply 263||12/04/2017|
The super-mooon party was spectacular. Many thanks to Cupcake for hosting. I loved the roof-top deck, sorry for the collapse.
|by Clarabelle||reply 264||12/04/2017|
Is Mooo related to DOOL?
|by Clarabelle||reply 265||12/04/2017|
Not likely, R265.
Love you, R264!
Oh, Moo to you both, and all!
|by Clarabelle||reply 266||12/04/2017|
Please enjoy your Monday Morning Moos through the end of the year as they will be going on hiatus afterward.
|by Clarabelle||reply 267||12/04/2017|
|by Clarabelle||reply 268||12/04/2017|
R268, I’m thinking of taking a clue from Game of Thrones.
What would you think of a rebranding as:
Game of Moos?
Who’s Afraid of Monday Morning Moos?
The Christmas Cow?
|by Clarabelle||reply 269||12/04/2017|
Well, Margaret, I am a devotee and if you feel you need a change-up I'm with you.
But since these days may be numbered and tomorrow being Monday, I decided to freshen up so I might look my best. What do you think? Roy was gratifyingly sober when he fluffed me, so to speak.
|by Clarabelle||reply 270||12/10/2017|
|by Clarabelle||reply 271||12/10/2017|
Thank you. I did Phyllis, too.
|by Clarabelle||reply 272||12/10/2017|
Phyllis, you look lovely.
|by Clarabelle||reply 273||12/10/2017|
Good night Sir, Good night Madam! This is your early morning Monday Moo!
|by Clarabelle||reply 274||12/10/2017|
Such fun~! Moooo!
This is a good afternoon as I just now fit into the Dockers I've not worn since, oh I don't know, 1997? I feel young again. Even Tommy the Bull gave me a second look!
Many thanks also to Roy for my new 'do. You really should keep off the sauce, Roy, you're quite talented.
|by Clarabelle||reply 275||12/11/2017|
You’re butiful, Beauchamp Heronimus! What a lovely do!
|by Clarabelle||reply 276||12/11/2017|
This is Beauchamp's secretary, Di'Jon. I do all the typing for him, and I erred in the spelling of his name.
It is Hieronymous, not Heronimous. Heronimus is a poseur's name and I can assure you that Beauchamp's pedigree is top drawer.
Please make a note of it. Thank you. Moo.
|by Clarabelle||reply 277||12/11/2017|
Beauchamp Hieronymous is still butiful. Even if he’s gone “Hollywood”.
|by Clarabelle||reply 278||12/11/2017|
Oops, I meant to Moo. So, Moo.
|by Clarabelle||reply 279||12/11/2017|
Good mo...mo...moorning! And a mo...mo..moorry Christmas to you all! Especially to the ladies. Have a great mo...mo...moonday!
Please see the gift from Farmer Derik.
|by Clarabelle||reply 280||12/18/2017|
Moo to you as well, sir. Excellent video.
|by Clarabelle||reply 281||12/18/2017|
Here’s a message from Carl. He got to Paris somehow.
|by Clarabelle||reply 282||12/20/2017|
It’s a pig in Paris, people!
|by Clarabelle||reply 283||12/20/2017|
|by Clarabelle||reply 284||12/20/2017|
Carl’s nostrils are bigger than his mouth, somehow.
|by Clarabelle||reply 285||12/21/2017|
Carl is in Paris? This is wonderful! As I recall he had a very devoted following among the Parisians. Particularly in the discos. That was back in the 70's if I recall correctly.
Well, Joyeaux Noel, Carl! Happy for you.
|by Clarabelle||reply 286||12/21/2017|
Oui, in Pigalle, as noted by R284.
|by Clarabelle||reply 287||12/21/2017|
In one of the Pigalle clubs you can see a monument to Carl hanging from the ceiling! I saw it myself!
|by Clarabelle||reply 288||12/21/2017|
Nope, you're thinking of Denmark. Carl gets around.
|by Clarabelle||reply 289||12/21/2017|
Are you thinking of the Folies Pigalle in Paris, Thor?
Carl does a Christmas show there every year. For the most part he just dances, but when he sings, it is a revelation, much like Jim Nabors. We should go.
|by Clarabelle||reply 290||12/21/2017|
He is quite the piggy!
|by Clarabelle||reply 291||12/21/2017|
He's been sending the same Christmas photo for twelve years, and I save every one of them.
|by Clarabelle||reply 292||12/21/2017|
Marco Rubio has Carl’s ears.
|by Clarabelle||reply 293||12/21/2017|
Well tell him to give them back!!
|by Clarabelle||reply 294||12/21/2017|
|by Clarabelle||reply 295||12/21/2017|
That’s not what I meant.
|by Clarabelle||reply 296||12/21/2017|
|by Clarabelle||reply 297||12/21/2017|
Carl was cute when he was young.
|by Clarabelle||reply 298||12/22/2017|
“Max Von Essen” has been approved by the registration desk as a manly bull name. “Otto” has as well.
|by Clarabelle||reply 299||12/23/2017|
Dear Sir, Dear Madam,
I bid you “Mooooo”.
Due to the holiday, the planned cessation of the Mooo programme will be extended into the new year. I hope you had a moooving Christmas!
From all of us at Monday Morning Moos.
|by Clarabelle||reply 300||12/25/2017|
The cows are miffed with your planned cessation, OP. Furious and suspicious, actually.
(He's trying to kill Carl, isn't he.) (Moo.)
|by Clarabelle||reply 301||12/27/2017|
Dear Messr. Beauchamp Hieronymos Bull du Newport,
Carl is safe with the hipster grass-grazing vegans of the Great Pacific Northwest. And they have truffles there! Still, he misses Paris! But he’s fine, he sends his love.
I’m the only on in the office this week. I’d like to wish you a new year with as much mooing as your heart desires, and I’ll pass along your “moo” to the staff on Monday. They will be working the holiday. It’s our biggest day of the year, after July 11th, of course.
|by Clarabelle||reply 302||12/27/2017|
Why July 11th?
|by Clarabelle||reply 303||12/27/2017|
Surly you have Cow Appreciation Day on your yearly planner? I bet you have the gassiest cows on the planet, if you forget to give them gifts on 7/11.
|by Clarabelle||reply 304||12/27/2017|
Madam, This "Gals of the Gate Moo Guild" intrigues me. I like titles and I like sashes. How do I apply?
|by Clarabelle||reply 305||12/27/2017|
Somebody spelled Beauchamp's name wrong. Again.
It's Hieronymous. See the 'U'? There's a 'U'.
Di'Jon, U are a terrible secretary.
|by Clarabelle||reply 306||12/27/2017|
I, too, would like to be a Gal at the Gate.
Is there a uniform? I'm thinking of something not-too-clingy, perhaps in a robin's egg blue? A soft rose is also good.
Thank you for not killing Carl. Moooo.
|by Clarabelle||reply 307||12/27/2017|
|by Clarabelle||reply 308||12/27/2017|
Is that a hybrid?
|by Clarabelle||reply 309||12/27/2017|
Oh, dear. Elsie referred this conundrum to me. We haven’t had bulls apply before to be in the Galls at the Gate Guild. Mostly we get together to discuss a book, and have cocktails; and Moo together, of course. I’ll have to refer this to the Steering Committee. Did you see what I did there? Haha, I’m a hoot! Will you sue? How exciting!
We do have sashes. That damn moose started [italic]that [/italic] whole thing and now every quadruped has to have a sash. I’m old school, but I’m trying to keep up. R307, we should put you on the Fabric and Accessories Committee. It’s been moribund lately and needs some bulls with a good eye to shake it up. Not that I’m saying you’re Gay or anything. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Ahhhh! I take it all back! I don’t know the modern lingo! Moo! Oh, I Moo when I get upset. Don’t sue for that!
But we’ll have to wait to see what the committee says.
|by Clarabelle||reply 310||12/27/2017|
[quote] Will you sue?
Speaking of sue, is Sue an approved cow name?
|by Clarabelle||reply 311||12/27/2017|
Dear Sir or Madam R311,
“Susie” is certainy approved! Please use with the most loving affection. It’s a pretty name.. “Sue” is most certainly NOT approved. Appeals may be heard by the Dairy Council.
I stayed late to research this, you know. I’m just one cow, I can’t do everything.
|by Clarabelle||reply 312||12/27/2017|
I think I am all moooed-out for the year. There! I said it. Moo!
|by Clarabelle||reply 313||12/28/2017|
|by Clarabelle||reply 314||12/28/2017|
R314, does it have any beach friends?
|by Clarabelle||reply 315||12/28/2017|
Just you, R315.
|by Clarabelle||reply 316||12/28/2017|
I don’t believe in species mixing.
|by Clarabelle||reply 317||12/28/2017|
R317 = Trump voter
|by Clarabelle||reply 318||12/29/2017|
Please, no second-hand mooing. Or second hoof, I might say. There have been complaints.
I moo only for myself.
Happy New Year, you old cows!
And [bold] Moo! [/bold]
|by Clarabelle||reply 319||12/29/2017|
Happy Moo-Year, from
|by Clarabelle||reply 320||12/31/2017|
|by Clarabelle||reply 321||01/01/2018|
From the bottom of my heart!
|by Clarabelle||reply 322||01/01/2018|
We’re not just for eatin’!
|by Clarabelle||reply 323||01/01/2018|
Carl the pig wishes everybody a nice New Year.
It’s raining in Vancouver today, but there’s sun in my heart, and a spring in my step.
|by Clarabelle||reply 324||01/01/2018|
Carl weren't you just in Paris? Commandeered another boat, did you?
Thank you for the best wishes and I wish the same for you, and all! Moooo.
|by Clarabelle||reply 325||01/02/2018|
Dear Mr. Winston,
Good day, Sir.
Carl’s out looking for truffles...again. But yes, he was just in Paris. The Frenchies kept asking about his feet and it creeped him out. He did a ride-along with Santa from Paris to Vancouver. It was very dramatic. It wasn't a direct route as Santa traveled from Greenland to Antartica back and forth across the continents. All according to NORAD. One the plus side, he got about a trillion frequent flyer miles on British Airlines because they’re a partner airline in Santa’s network. No more slow boats for Carl! He can fly first class!
I will pass your Moo along to Carl and here is a return moo just for you: Moooooo!
|by Clarabelle||reply 326||01/02/2018|
Pierre, as per R319, second hand mooing is prohibited. I know you mean well, but we do have standards. Thank you.
|by Clarabelle||reply 327||01/03/2018|
Morning Mooooo! Good morning, all.
Thank you for the update on Carl's whereabouts, Pierre. I laughed, I cried. Moooooo.
|by Clarabelle||reply 328||01/07/2018|
Good day, Sir!
You beat me to the Monday Morning Moo, and I congratulate you!
|by Clarabelle||reply 329||01/08/2018|
Oh, Dear Sir,
I forgot to Moo properly! Please excuse my forgetfulness!
Many Moos to you, Thor, Carl, his new “friend’, and all the dear readers!
|by Clarabelle||reply 330||01/08/2018|
Are any of the names cows here gay?
|by Clarabelle||reply 331||01/08/2018|
Are any of the named cows here gay?
|by Clarabelle||reply 332||01/08/2018|
I believe you will find that is mostly the case, R332, but I am not with Registration, so you will have to wait for official word. Meanwhile, and again this is above my station, "Anonymous" is a terrible name for a cow, and may in fact be prohibited. I'm sure Registration will be along shortly to help you. Registration is very helpful, very swift. Best wishes on a fine day!
|by Clarabelle||reply 333||01/08/2018|
Dear Sir or Madam,
“Anonymous” is most certainly NOT an approved name! I will call you “Gertie”, because I think you’re sassy. Is that copacetic? Would you like to apply to join the “Gals at the Gate Guild”? There’s a waiting list.
As to your question, do you really have to ask? Mooo!
|by Clarabelle||reply 334||01/08/2018|
Is it still Monday?
|by Clarabelle||reply 335||01/08/2018|
Is “anonymous” a male, female, or mooueter name?
|by Clarabelle||reply 336||01/08/2018|
I did not post this on imgur. Moo.
|by Clarabelle||reply 337||01/08/2018|
Gertie, we can’t tell what it is, here at the Registratuon Desk. If you want to appeal to the Dairy Council you can, but there’s a $5 fee for that. Frankly I can’t see that happening. The last time they overruled the Registration Desk was for “Hieronymous”, but she’s got that big ol’ farm down over Lockjaw Creek.
Especially if you can’t be bothered to Moo in closing, I might add. Were you raised outside of a barn, for heavens sake?
How about “Daisy” if you don’t like Gertie? Isn’t that a pretty name for a cow like you? It’s slimming, too. Moo.
|by Clarabelle||reply 338||01/09/2018|
Sir/Madam at Registration,
I am a gentleman cow, not a "she."
I am not at all offended, why would I be? Ladies are lovely of course. I just want to clear that up so as not to lose any potential gentleman callers of my own.
Carry on and buddy up, it's a cold day in Rhode Island. Moooo.
|by Clarabelle||reply 339||01/09/2018|
A GENTLEMEN COW!? (To be said in the voice of “the star” Audrey Meadows, playing Alice Kramden)
|by Clarabelle||reply 340||01/09/2018|
Are cows fans of DL fave Temple Grandin?
|by Clarabelle||reply 341||01/09/2018|
She likes to snuggle a little close, but overall, yes we'd say. Yes.
|by Clarabelle||reply 342||01/09/2018|
Even cows don’t plunk their behinds down on prime-pooping territory, without a plan B, I mean.
|by Clarabelle||reply 343||01/09/2018|
Like horses, cows see in black and white, plus have color receptors for the colors blue and yellow. That is why they are partial to those colors. Moo.
|by Clarabelle||reply 344||01/09/2018|
Dear heifers and other assorted cow-kind,
Can the spots on cows be removed? I’m giving some thought to rubbing one out if possible. For scientific reasons of course.
Second, do bovines play patty cake?
Thank you in advance most kindly. “Moooo” as they say in the language of your people.
|by Clarabelle||reply 345||01/10/2018|
R345, Spots can be dyed. I know Melissa does it. Sorry, Melissa, but he’s cow curious. As to the second question, we’re cows, not morons, heavens! Though, yes, I have seen it done,
|by Clarabelle||reply 346||01/10/2018|
Who are the friends of MOOd-kind?
|by Clarabelle||reply 347||01/10/2018|
Sir, I have googled you, and I don’t know you. Are you friend or foe? I moo as a courtesy, not out of affection, you understand.
|by Clarabelle||reply 348||01/10/2018|
Hold me, Horns, I'm frightened. Mooo.
|by Clarabelle||reply 349||01/10/2018|
Oh, well, ok. Moo.
|by Clarabelle||reply 350||01/10/2018|
But you aren't wearing your breast plate, Horns. Please come back with your breast plate?
|by Clarabelle||reply 351||01/10/2018|
Breast plates? Shouldn’t they be “udder plates”?
|by Clarabelle||reply 352||01/10/2018|
I am following the language of OPERA, mister anonymous who shall not name himself. Anonymous is NOT A NAME.
|by Clarabelle||reply 353||01/10/2018|
Mosly I just lurk on this thread, but I do find it indecent that poster after poster won't identifythemselves.
|by Clarabelle||reply 354||01/10/2018|
I am not a cow, just cow-adjacent and interested in bovines. This I do not have approved name. You may call me “Anon” if you wish or, moo-re appropriately “Anon-y-MOOs”.
|by Clarabelle||reply 355||01/10/2018|
This = Thus
|by Clarabelle||reply 356||01/10/2018|
Cow D.A.R., here. With the exception of Beauchamp Hierymous Bull, you are all below pedigree and will be eaten.
|by Clarabelle||reply 357||01/10/2018|
|by Clarabelle||reply 358||01/10/2018|
|by Clarabelle||reply 359||01/10/2018|
Yes, but "in the biz" you learn to walk the walk and speak the speak. On certain auditions I've even cloaked my horns. One time Ray Stark draped his overcoat right on my head.
|by Clarabelle||reply 360||01/10/2018|
You should get your hoofs done by those Vietnamese girls downtown. Get a price over the phone first, though. I still have sparkles from last May!
|by Clarabelle||reply 361||01/10/2018|
|by Clarabelle||reply 362||01/10/2018|
Where is the Cow and Bull Social Committee these days? Last I heard from them was on the slow boat, the Simply Red Social, and every song was a slow dance. Drowned?
|by Clarabelle||reply 363||01/10/2018|
R362, oh no, I was at the DataLounge Convention at the Jacob Javits Center in NYC. I took the Acela. There’s a thread on it somewhere. So, I got my hoofs done there. They’re the best.
|by Clarabelle||reply 364||01/10/2018|
OP......you fat sow!!!
|by Clarabelle||reply 365||01/10/2018|
By the way is it hoofs or hooves? I know you’re young, but I was hoping you could enlighten me.
|by Clarabelle||reply 366||01/10/2018|
I'll go with drowned.
|by Clarabelle||reply 367||01/10/2018|
World-class mooing by the Gals at the Gate Guild, at the link. Happy Monday Morning Moos!
|by Clarabelle||reply 368||01/14/2018|
Why do cows moo?
“One of their demands is a punctual milking schedule. Researchers have found that cows could choose their trips to the milk barn; they would like to be milked about 3.5 times per day. If you are a few hours late, they get cranky, and will send out some moos telling you to hurry up.”
|by Clarabelle||reply 369||01/15/2018|
I am so glad I don't have that problem.
|by Clarabelle||reply 370||01/15/2018|
Tommy the Bull = Misogynist Pig, err, Cow
|by Clarabelle||reply 371||01/15/2018|
Beautiful moos in Midnight's video. Tell me, does the Gate Guild take requests? Perhaps they will moo at a wedding? I am currently betrothed.
Squee and Mooooo.
|by Clarabelle||reply 372||01/15/2018|
Is calling an all black cow a “heifer” considered derogatory or is it acceptable, even preferred? Perhaps if there is a Political Cowrectness Committee the question can be referred to them.
|by Clarabelle||reply 373||01/15/2018|
I don’t know about being called a “heifer” these days, but I do know that the worst thing you can say to a cow is “What, were you raised in a barn?” It’s not a nice thing to say. Also, don’t call a cow a “pig”. That’s very confusing for most of them.
|by Clarabelle||reply 374||01/15/2018|
Oh, I forgot to Moo. I dedicate these Moos to all the men I’ve loved before.
|by Clarabelle||reply 375||01/15/2018|
[quote] R372: Beautiful moos in Midnight's video. Tell me, does the Gate Guild take requests? Perhaps they will moo at a wedding? I am currently betrothed.
The Gals do take requests. I understand they find them to be delicious. But since you asked, here’s what Hollywood types do. Give the cows plenty of water, and then don’t milk them until they’re begging and mooing to be milked. Though, that can break your cow if you’re not careful.
|by Clarabelle||reply 376||01/15/2018|
Oh, heck, I forgot to Moo, again.
|by Clarabelle||reply 377||01/15/2018|
[quote] I understand they find them to be delicious
As we do cows.
|by Clarabelle||reply 378||01/15/2018|
YOU’RE OUT OF LINE, R378!
Take your potty mouth over to manvox.
|by Clarabelle||reply 379||01/15/2018|
I lost my Manvox code. And Manvox is a Russian site. If it weren’t for vodka and other liquor they’d devour cows more than the West.
|by Clarabelle||reply 380||01/15/2018|
Cows are responsible for global warming.
|by Clarabelle||reply 381||01/15/2018|
Ok, R381. Next you’ll be telling me that a cow killed the Christmas Mouse by sitting on him, in his lair.
Moderator! Moderator! We have an anti-cow hate crime going down right now in R381!
Oh, Happy Moo Year, moderator, btw.
|by Clarabelle||reply 382||01/15/2018|
Good day, Sir; good day, Madam!
Every Monday is a good day if you start off with a hardy “Moo!” I bid you “Moo”, then! Let the Mooing be done though the heavens fall.
|by Clarabelle||reply 383||01/22/2018|
Good morning, Duke, moooo to you and everyone. It's a warmer day in Connecticut, and I see grass beneath the melting snow. I just love that, who wouldn't love that. Moooo.
|by Clarabelle||reply 384||01/22/2018|
[quote] Let the Mooing be done though the heavens fall.
Do cows also do mooning?
|by Clarabelle||reply 385||01/22/2018|
I don’t think that’s in their charter, R385.
|by Clarabelle||reply 386||01/22/2018|
There’s more mooing at link.
|by Clarabelle||reply 387||01/22/2018|
It's Monday night.
Are you dead?
|by Clarabelle||reply 388||01/29/2018|
No, Bertram, I’m still here!
Moo, moo I say! Moo, moo, moo! Moos for everyone!
|by Clarabelle||reply 389||01/29/2018|
Oh! Well, then.
A happy and relieved mooo to you, sir! My Monday is much much better now.
|by Clarabelle||reply 390||01/29/2018|
Good day, Sir! Good day, Madam! I have been waiting all week for this opportunity to bid you, “Moo”. Fear not! If you start your week with a hearty “Moo”, the rest of the week will fall into place.
|by Clarabelle||reply 391||02/05/2018|
Cupcake, are you still out there? Don’t fret dear, it’ll always be a bull market in my eyes!
|by Clarabelle||reply 392||02/05/2018|
Miss Ella Mae......
|by Clarabelle||reply 393||02/05/2018|
|by Clarabelle||reply 394||02/05/2018|
Thank you, cow cow. You should have a proper name before the registration desk hears of you, btw.
|by Clarabelle||reply 395||02/05/2018|
cow cow is a delightful name! I hope registration admits you. And yes, Tank, I am here! Enjoying the boogie on a chilly Tuesday evening... MOo!
|by Clarabelle||reply 396||02/06/2018|
Sometimes I “moo”, and it’s not even a Monday.
Hello, Cupcake. Best wishes. I would never fart in your face, if you were wondering. Never!
|by Clarabelle||reply 397||02/06/2018|
I won't fall for that again Tank, you precocious beast.
Meanwhile, Lilith, Tommy the Bull, Beauchamp and I are still toe tapping to the cow cow boogie. I wish Carl were here with his ukelele. Phyllis is not very good with the kazoo.
|by Clarabelle||reply 398||02/06/2018|
Is Kazoo affiliated with the Stone Zoo in Stoneham, MA?
|by Clarabelle||reply 399||02/06/2018|
No, R399, this is a moose free thread. So far, anyway.
You didn’t “moo”, btw; or sign your name.
Moo. There! I said it!
|by Clarabelle||reply 400||02/07/2018|
Mondays are Fun Days,
|by Clarabelle||reply 401||02/12/2018|
|by Clarabelle||reply 402||02/12/2018|
[quote] No, R399, this is a moose free thread. So far, anyway. You didn’t “moo”, btw; or sign your name.
R400 aka Clarabelle, there were 11 posts mentioning moose before yours, and I didn’t even mention moose in mine. Why then get your udders in a knot over my post? I didn’t “moo” because I’m not a cow, as much as I respect and love them (in a variety of ways). Cheesy at it may be, you can call me R399 if you wish.
|by Clarabelle||reply 403||02/12/2018|
You seem to be in charge. This morning I am feeling TRIGGERED and VERY UNSAFE. Moo.
|by Clarabelle||reply 404||02/12/2018|
Well, now there is discord. This is precisely what the registration desk was set-up to avoid. And of course there is a moose at the center of it, as usual. I saw Clarabelle in the lower 40 and her makeup’s been running like she’s been crying. And, no, “Mary” is NOT an approved name! Marybelle is fine; and Maybelline somehow slipped through; also MarieClare for French cheese cows, yes that’s a thing, but not Mary. Oh, she has such pretty cow-eyes, too. Now, where was I? Oh, discord! Just STOP IT, before they hear about it in the front office.
A friendly reminder, if you don’t “Moo” in your posts, you must post a cow chip in the pasture, or else...see the link.
|by Clarabelle||reply 405||02/12/2018|
I once saw the Christmas Moose at a Cafe in Glendale. and I asked him to “Moo” and he said he didn’t do impressions. I think he was coming from the zoo. I was going to post this to the “celebs being assholes thread”, but then I thought I might just not get cross-species humor.
|by Clarabelle||reply 406||02/12/2018|
[quote] you must post a cow chip in the pasture, or else
I read that as “cow chop”. That reminded me of what I wrote at R403: I love cows in a variety of ways.
|by Clarabelle||reply 407||02/12/2018|
Love it, R402. Good moo to you!
|by Clarabelle||reply 408||02/12/2018|
Cow accused of having high intelligence.
Moo. Have a nice holiday weekend. I’m working.
|by Clarabelle||reply 409||02/16/2018|
Is Anvil an approved name?
|by Clarabelle||reply 410||02/16/2018|
Good catch, R410. I tried to sneak it by. It’s not like it’s “Advil” or something. It’s currently under consideration. I think it will fly through next week. What do you think are my chances of getting it through without an override?
|by Clarabelle||reply 411||02/16/2018|
[quote] I think it will fly through next week. What do you think are my chances of getting it through without an override?
When cows fly.
|by Clarabelle||reply 412||02/16/2018|
No Monday moos? You future steaks are losing your edge.
|by Clarabelle||reply 413||02/19/2018|
Moo, if I must.
|by Clarabelle||reply 414||02/19/2018|
I know, R413, the stakes are high. I’ve been told.
|by Clarabelle||reply 415||02/19/2018|
Don’t ask for who the cow Moos, R412! It Moos for YOU! Mooooo!
|by Clarabelle||reply 416||02/19/2018|
Sorry I’m late. I was having my hair done. There’s a “Gals at the Gate” Gala by Moonlight tonight. It’s an old fashioned barn dance! Wear your tu-tu, Melissa! You look purty in that. Moo!
|by Clarabelle||reply 417||02/20/2018|
Tank, Armor, are you coming to the Barn Dance? I’m not supposed to tell you, but’s your initiation into the Guild tonight! Wear your best nose ring, but make sure it’s a clip-on, because these things can get a little rough sometimes, once the buttermilk gets flowing.
|by Clarabelle||reply 418||02/20/2018|
Tank and Armor, beware! “Barn Dance” is a euphemism for the slaughter pen! The Gertie welcome wagon is trying to trick you and entice you with buttermilk to literally lead you to slaughter. She is a paid traitor to the Beef Council.
|by Clarabelle||reply 419||02/20/2018|
This is why your application to the Guild was “administratively dismissed”, Mr. Anonymous, if that is your real name.
Ignore her, Tank and Armor. Come early for dance lessons! You don’t want to be a wall flower on your initiation night.
|by Clarabelle||reply 420||02/20/2018|
Barn Dance, c. 1616. Period clothing optional.
Oh, moo! There will be a lot of that going on tonight, I bet.
|by Clarabelle||reply 421||02/20/2018|
wall flower = hanging from a hook by a wall in a freezer
|by Clarabelle||reply 422||02/20/2018|
Gertie is a cow slaughterer. We saw Goodfellas, Gertie, and we know what you did to Tommy the Bull.
|by Clarabelle||reply 423||02/20/2018|
Boooo! I fully expected this thread to be about today's White House Daily Press Briefing, starring Sarah Huckleberry "Mooooooooooooooooooo" Sanders.
|by Clarabelle||reply 424||02/20/2018|
She is an old cow, isn’t she, R242?
|by Clarabelle||reply 425||02/20/2018|
Good day, Sir. Good day, Madam! Happy Mooooo-nday!
|by Clarabelle||reply 426||02/26/2018|
Happy Monday all, moooo. Has Anvil been admitted? I think he's sexy.
|by Clarabelle||reply 427||02/26/2018|
Yes, Todd. Anvil was hanging from the chandelier by the end of the night. He’s officially in the “Girls at the Gate Guild”.
|by Clarabelle||reply 428||02/26/2018|
Clarabelle got 380 views on Imgur. 8 up votes, that’s kinda lame. 3 downvotes. Who could downvote that face? Besides maybe Moosifer. I hate him.
Well, a hearty “Moo” to you all before the day is over.
|by Clarabelle||reply 429||02/26/2018|
Moosifer hates cows too?
|by Clarabelle||reply 430||02/27/2018|
Moosifer hates everybody. He’s a bad egg.
|by Clarabelle||reply 431||02/28/2018|
Here’s something to cheer you up:
If your Monday has you unglued, haha!
|by Clarabelle||reply 432||03/05/2018|
|by Clarabelle||reply 433||03/05/2018|
Question: rare or medium rare?
|by Clarabelle||reply 434||03/07/2018|
R434, that’s obscene. You’re not a good egg, at all!
I moo, but not for you. Moo!
|by Clarabelle||reply 435||03/09/2018|
R435, I referred to the population levels of European Bison which are considered threatened but increasing. Thus rare or medium rare. What did you think I meant?
|by Clarabelle||reply 436||03/09/2018|
I have a name. It’s Behula, you dumb ox.
Now, tell, me, you waited two days for that!?
|by Clarabelle||reply 437||03/09/2018|
R437, aka Behula (is that name approved by the way?), it is you who posted two days after I did, and when you did you defamed me with nary an inquiry as to the nature of my question. And I’m not even a bovine. Perhaps you are a bovine supremacist? But I, unlike you, will not jump to conclusions.
|by Clarabelle||reply 438||03/09/2018|
Of course Behula is an approved name. You have to get the blue pages of the 2017 registry index, until the 2018 registry index comes out.
And you are, R434/436?
|by Clarabelle||reply 439||03/09/2018|
Behula, I am divine! I am oblivion!
I am the god who saves the world
I descend from heaven and make this earth
A heaven! Ah!
I am love, love, love.
|by Clarabelle||reply 440||03/09/2018|
Attention, cows. In two short months it will be the first anniversary of Monday Moos! How will we be celebrating?
|by Clarabelle||reply 441||03/10/2018|
[quote] How will we be celebrating?
By eating a nice, juicy steak.
Or perhaps veal. Yeah, veal.
|by Clarabelle||reply 442||03/10/2018|
That’s a handsome bow, Anvil’s A.A. sponsor.
|by Clarabelle||reply 443||03/10/2018|
May’s a good month for fresh grass. Yum! I still remember 2014, that was a good year, ahhh.
|by Clarabelle||reply 444||03/10/2018|
If I were to imagine what you look like on a Monday morning, it would look something like this.
Thank you, sir. Moo, madame.
|by Clarabelle||reply 445||03/12/2018|
Good day Sir! Good day Madam! Am I doing this right? It’s my first time here on Monday Morning Moos! Moo! I know I’m late, but I was down at the gate with the other gals. Armor and Tank were there, so of course there was much mooing.
Everyone have a good day! You have been mooed!
|by Clarabelle||reply 446||03/12/2018|
Why, yes Spencer, that is very much what I look like. But as this, mooo, excuse me, as this is an anonymous site, I can reveal no more! Moo!
|by Clarabelle||reply 447||03/12/2018|
|by Clarabelle||reply 448||03/12/2018|
You didn't know, cow at r448? Anvil is a derelict and an alcoholic, but I can't say more because it's anonymous. Shh.
|by Clarabelle||reply 449||03/12/2018|
Oh and, Mooo.
|by Clarabelle||reply 450||03/12/2018|
Lilia, please share pictures from your Gals at the Gate soiree, especially pics of Tank, he is HOT.
|by Clarabelle||reply 451||03/12/2018|
Aw, thank you, Phyllis.
|by Clarabelle||reply 452||03/12/2018|
Here’s one of the “gals at the gate”, since title IX opened the membership to bulls.
|by Clarabelle||reply 453||03/12/2018|
Oh! Moos x 1000!
|by Clarabelle||reply 454||03/12/2018|
You did great, Lilia! Moo!
Also, handsome snout in R453. Who dat?
|by Clarabelle||reply 455||03/12/2018|
Get your “Moos” in now, sleepyheads! Word is that everycow in New England will be barn-bound for the next week, due to the weather.
|by Clarabelle||reply 456||03/12/2018|
Flash frozen, R456?
|by Clarabelle||reply 457||03/12/2018|
I don’t see that on the Telex, R457, but I’ll look further.
|by Clarabelle||reply 458||03/12/2018|
Thanks, Carl. I understand the freezing process takes some of the flavor away but it is efficient.
|by Clarabelle||reply 459||03/12/2018|
Here’s an international group at the link. I understand it branched from the Gals at the Gate Guild, after a dust-up of some kind. They don’t wear sashes, unfortunately.
|by Clarabelle||reply 460||03/15/2018|
I heard on another thread that Carl is in Vancouver! I hope he'll be around for the BIG ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY PARTY on May 20th. Bring your ukelele, Carl! All is forgiven for the Great Slow-Ship Sinking of 2017. Also, I need my blanket back, k? Mooo, buddy.
|by Clarabelle||reply 461||03/16/2018|
Link to thread please, R461.
|by Clarabelle||reply 462||03/16/2018|
It was a thread by Gunther, having to do with a search for his deceased Uncle Otto and his family tree.
Without carrots I can't remember more than that, munch munch munch. And by all means, please call me Melrose. You forgot to moo.
|by Clarabelle||reply 463||03/16/2018|
Melrose, who are these posters demanding info without moos?
Why I never.
|by Clarabelle||reply 464||03/16/2018|
Tell me about it.
|by Clarabelle||reply 465||03/16/2018|
Maybe the reluctant mooer at r462 is asking for the SlowBoat info? If so, that starts here at r150.
We really have lived, Mooers. It seems like only yesterday we were swimming for our lives.
|by Clarabelle||reply 466||03/16/2018|
There’s a slow boat leaving from NYC at 4 pm tomorrow.
|by Clarabelle||reply 467||03/17/2018|
Top of the Mooooorning to you! It sounds better in Gaelic, though most things do, of course. A hearty Moo to our Irish lads and lassies.
|by Clarabelle||reply 468||03/19/2018|
Remember, if you vomit, you must lap it up ‘til it’s all gone. Don’t leave it for someone else to do. “Moo”, and “Good day”, Sir and Madam!
|by Clarabelle||reply 469||03/19/2018|
|by Clarabelle||reply 470||03/19/2018|
I'm not getting on any more slowboats, are you crazy??
|by Clarabelle||reply 471||03/19/2018|
Oh god, my head. Those gals at the gate can really drink, the milk they're expressing is minimum 80 proof.
Please moo softly today, I'm begging you.
|by Clarabelle||reply 472||03/19/2018|
Terrance, was it green?
|by Clarabelle||reply 473||03/19/2018|
It was green, Margaret, yes, it was.
|by Clarabelle||reply 474||03/19/2018|
I'm belching clover. Delicious.
|by Clarabelle||reply 475||03/19/2018|
I applaud you, Tommy!
I’m still belching-up Raisinets from last night. That’s fine by me. They’re from my beau.
|by Clarabelle||reply 476||03/19/2018|
Terrance the other night...
|by Clarabelle||reply 477||03/19/2018|
|by Clarabelle||reply 478||03/19/2018|
Swim big cow, swim!
|by Clarabelle||reply 479||03/20/2018|
The cow at R479 is a smart future steak and/or milk producer.
|by Clarabelle||reply 480||03/20/2018|
Good day, Sir! Good day, Madam! I bid you “Moo”.
|by Clarabelle||reply 481||03/26/2018|
Moooo! I feel spring in the air, mmm, grass will be plentiful. I can tell.
|by Clarabelle||reply 482||03/26/2018|
That’s not Spring! That’s Nitrous.
|by Clarabelle||reply 483||03/26/2018|
Gertie, get the Gals together!
These is a cattle conclave in the lower fourth, and they’re German cows, so we already can guess that they all want [italic] Lebensraum. [/italic].
Oh, moo, btw.
|by Clarabelle||reply 484||03/28/2018|
Caption this short video.
|by Clarabelle||reply 485||03/29/2018|
Good day Sir. Good day, Madam! A happy April to you all! A good Monday morning Moo to you!
At the link, excited Gals at the Gate Guild skip out to pasture. It is a fine time to be a cow! Oh, joy!
|by Clarabelle||reply 486||04/02/2018|
[quote] It is a fine time to be a cow!
Said the future steak. Enjoy it while you can.
|by Clarabelle||reply 487||04/02/2018|
I’m a dairy cow!
|by Clarabelle||reply 488||04/03/2018|
We’re all dairy cows!
|by Clarabelle||reply 489||04/03/2018|
Heavens! I missed Monday morning moos yesterday and no one noticed. I'm a little hurt. Sore, too.
|by Clarabelle||reply 490||04/04/2018|
R480, I noticed, but I figured the figurative silence meant that one or more of you moo cows had been eaten.
|by Clarabelle||reply 491||04/04/2018|
Ok, listen up, Hansel @491. Nobody is eating anybody else around here. Got it?!
And Madam Grady, thIs is how the first “Gals at the Gate Guild” was convened. We’re all Mooing for farmer Dale to get out here, now, stat. We got your back, babe! Never fear, help is on the way!
|by Clarabelle||reply 492||04/04/2018|
That's awful, Madame Grady! How did you escape?
|by Clarabelle||reply 493||04/04/2018|
Thank you for caring.
|by Clarabelle||reply 494||04/04/2018|
That must be one goddamned sturdy balloon to carry a heifer like R494.
|by Clarabelle||reply 495||04/04/2018|
Dear Sir, dear Madam, Apologies for being late! I was held up in the Special Mooooooo, oops, Special Prosecutor’s Office. Something about inappropriate udders! Mooooo, oops, sorry again. I moo when I’m upset. Mooooo!
|by Clarabelle||reply 496||04/09/2018|
That's quite alright, Gertie, though I was beginning to wonder. My milk backs up a little when you're late for Monday moos. But moo, moo all the same.
|by Clarabelle||reply 497||04/09/2018|
[quote] Something about inappropriate udders!
Did they mean inappropriate udderances?
|by Clarabelle||reply 498||04/09/2018|
I don’t know, R498, I’m just a dairy Moooo, I mean, a dairy cow!
|by Clarabelle||reply 499||04/09/2018|
Mooo! I did not have sexual relations with that cow! Mooo!
|by Clarabelle||reply 500||04/09/2018|
Do I, mooooooo, do I need to get a lawyer?
|by Clarabelle||reply 501||04/09/2018|
[quote] Do I, mooooooo, do I need to get a lawyer?
Have you tried LegalMooz?
|by Clarabelle||reply 502||04/09/2018|
OMG, OMG, they broke into the barn! They grabbed Gertie! OMG! It’s a disgrace! What about Hillary’s emails! Oh, moo! Gertie! Gertie! Moooooooo!
|by Clarabelle||reply 503||04/09/2018|
..and I love you, R502.
|by Clarabelle||reply 504||04/09/2018|
Well, Moo, I say!
|by Clarabelle||reply 505||04/10/2018|
Is Cincinnati Freedom an approved name?
|by Clarabelle||reply 506||04/10/2018|
Things fell apart once 'Advil' was approved.
|by Clarabelle||reply 507||04/10/2018|
[quote] OMG, OMG, they broke into the barn! They grabbed Gertie!
They hit Gertie! Come on, girls!
|by Clarabelle||reply 508||04/10/2018|
[quote] Things fell apart once 'Advil' was approved.
At least Advil puts cows in a daze before being electrocuted up the ass.
|by Clarabelle||reply 509||04/10/2018|
R506, Cincinnati Freedom is an approved name under the Native American Bovine Clause to the General Arcticles of Patriotic Herbivores. Section five, I believe.
|by Clarabelle||reply 510||04/11/2018|
I’m quite sure, it’s “Anvil”, a nice masculine name for some young buck.
|by Clarabelle||reply 511||04/11/2018|
Moo ... ouch!
|by Clarabelle||reply 512||04/16/2018|
Am I moving to myself, gosh darn it?!
|by Clarabelle||reply 513||04/16/2018|
Moo & Love,
|by Clarabelle||reply 514||04/16/2018|
Girta meant, “Am I mooing by myself, gosh darn it?!”
No, dear, we’re all here. Just afraid of subpoenas!
Happy Monday, everyone!
|by Clarabelle||reply 515||04/16/2018|
Mooooourning Bar, one of the Gals at the Gate. Moooo, Bar, that’s for you.
|by Clarabelle||reply 516||04/21/2018|
Good morning, Sir! Good morning, Madam! This week we are up with the chickens! I bid you well! Salutations! Last week, we were busy fussing with the Boston Moo-a-thon, and Girta messed it all up. Also, there was the emergency matter of Advil’s name, and how that slipped the censors. Today, there are no distractions! It’s Monday Morning Moos!
|by Clarabelle||reply 517||04/22/2018|
Mooooo! Good Morning! And speaking of chickens, Phyllis, our barn hen, is feeling much better now after her cold. That chicken soup really fixed her up, with a good handful of Vitamin C, of course!
|by Clarabelle||reply 518||04/22/2018|
Good morning, Phyllis!
|by Clarabelle||reply 519||04/23/2018|
Oh, heck, was it my day to let the cows out?
|by Clarabelle||reply 520||04/23/2018|
Moooo, for people coming home from work! I hope you made it through your day!
|by Clarabelle||reply 521||04/23/2018|
There will be more Mooing after the intermission.
|by Clarabelle||reply 522||04/23/2018|
Oh dear Sir, dear Madam, is it Monday? Well, Mooooo, then! I beg your forgiveness and hope your moooless morning was not too dreary! Oh dear, this should not have happened! Moooo! Please accept my apology on the part of the Gals at the Gate Guild and affiliated Guilds, Leagues, and Auxiliaries. Oh, Mooo!
|by Clarabelle||reply 523||04/30/2018|
Why Penolope was late this morning.
|by Clarabelle||reply 524||04/30/2018|
That’s adorable, R525!
|by Clarabelle||reply 525||04/30/2018|
That’s adorable, R524!
|by Clarabelle||reply 526||04/30/2018|
Phew, almost missed it.
|by Clarabelle||reply 527||04/30/2018|
Thank you and Moo to you, Tommy. I sent you a box of clover, did you get it?
|by Clarabelle||reply 528||04/30/2018|
I did, Homer. Yes. Thank you.
|by Clarabelle||reply 529||04/30/2018|
Dear Sir, dear Madam, good morning and “Moo”. I hope you start your week well, and are nice to the other cows you may come upon today.
I just saw “The 12th Man” and loved it. It was broadcast on the side of a barn. I think this reindeer is cow-adjacent and therefore might fit under the guidelines here.
|by Clarabelle||reply 530||05/07/2018|
I must confess I've always had a thing for reindeer, they're so...musky smelling. Mmmoo.
|by Clarabelle||reply 531||05/07/2018|
[quote] I must confess I've always had a thing for reindeer, they're so...musky smelling. Mmmoo.
Make it rein.
- Oh, deer
|by Clarabelle||reply 532||05/07/2018|
Re r530, She’s a tough ol’ gal, too!
|by Clarabelle||reply 533||05/07/2018|
13 more days till Monday Moos one year anniversary! Who's bringing a dish?
|by Clarabelle||reply 534||05/07/2018|
[quote] Who's bringing a dish?
I will. Do you think medium rare filet mignon would be a hit?
|by Clarabelle||reply 535||05/07/2018|
R535, I accidentally screamed out loud when I read your post. Hope the neighbors don’t complain.
Moo, for Heavens sake.
|by Clarabelle||reply 536||05/07/2018|
That’s not a Monday, R534. What to do?
|by Clarabelle||reply 537||05/07/2018|
Oh Desmond, you keep making these steak jokes. We all know it's you. Now go outside and play in the yard, dinner's at seven and it's Carl.
|by Clarabelle||reply 538||05/07/2018|
NO CARL JOKES.
Not as food, anyway.
|by Clarabelle||reply 539||05/07/2018|
I think the best test as to whether a name is suitable for a cow is if you can imagine a ten year old boy on the front stoop of. 1940s farm house, in black-and-white, natch, calling out “Desszz-moond!” That one seems to work find.
|by Clarabelle||reply 540||05/07/2018|
I concur with Petunia,
|by Clarabelle||reply 541||05/07/2018|
My choice seems to pass the Petunia test.
Most days, Anthony takes his time going home, but not today.
Wednesday is Prince Spaghetti Day.
|by Clarabelle||reply 542||05/07/2018|
Gosh, Anthony is so cute!
But that’s not Boston’s North End in the 1970s, as there was an African American couple strolling through and that just strains credulity.
|by Clarabelle||reply 543||05/07/2018|
Yes thank you, r543, clearly not a cow and probably just a rough and tumble tough guy.
Carl accepts your invitation for the One Year Blast. It will be a beautiful affair!
|by Clarabelle||reply 544||05/07/2018|
Can’t wait to see Carl again!
|by Clarabelle||reply 545||05/07/2018|
I feel so close to everyone.
|by Clarabelle||reply 546||05/07/2018|
Oh please, really. Carl is a pig.
|by Clarabelle||reply 547||05/07/2018|
Carl is the finest fellow no matter what you say, Robert. You are jealous.
|by Clarabelle||reply 548||05/07/2018|
Oh for godssake are you all still arguing over Carl?
I need help with my Alfredo Sauce, snap out if it!
|by Clarabelle||reply 549||05/07/2018|
^^ That was Dandelion. Hi.
|by Clarabelle||reply 550||05/07/2018|
|by Clarabelle||reply 551||05/07/2018|
That is the most adorable thing at R544.
|by Clarabelle||reply 552||05/07/2018|
I don't believe we have r551 registered, mooo. Your name, please?
|by Clarabelle||reply 553||05/07/2018|
"Anthrax is spelled with an 'H' but I said get the 'H' out of here!"
|by Clarabelle||reply 554||05/07/2018|
I’m bringing clover in a gelatin mold. Everybody likes clover. I know it makes some cows gassy, but what doesn’t? Melrose, what doesn’t?
|by Clarabelle||reply 555||05/08/2018|
Red Rufus was our beloved red Shorthorn bull, servicing 60 cows until he had to go when he failed a brucellosis test.
|by Clarabelle||reply 556||05/08/2018|
There will be a barn dance on Sunday, May 20th, to celebrate the anniversary of Monday Morning Moos. Heifers, welcome. Smoking is not allowed in the barn. Buttermilk will be served. Pigs and chickens may attend. More to come, later. Moo.
Sponsored by The Gals at the Gate Guild
|by Clarabelle||reply 557||05/08/2018|
R556, touching story, then became TMI and gross. Moo for your loss.
|by Clarabelle||reply 558||05/08/2018|
Our first year anniversary means so much. Only a few months ago I was a scared young gay bull. But you bulls and cows and one chicken and a pig turned it all around, and this is home. See you at the barn dance.
|by Clarabelle||reply 559||05/10/2018|
Hello it's Roy, moo to all. I am taking reservations and they're filling up fast: Anyone who wants a coiffure before our big day should sign up now. See upthread for some of my creations. I am sober.
|by Clarabelle||reply 560||05/10/2018|
Where is Carl right now?
|by Clarabelle||reply 561||05/10/2018|
Smoking IS ALLOWED, however. Just not in the barn around all that dry hay. There will be vapes and edibles for those inclined, and bongs for the Bob Seeger eldercrowd-cows.
|by Clarabelle||reply 562||05/10/2018|
[quote] Only a few months ago I was a scared young gay bull.
You’re not scared as a future steak?
|by Clarabelle||reply 563||05/10/2018|
I'm scared as a future unloved, never been kissed steak. I wanna know what love is.
|by Clarabelle||reply 564||05/10/2018|
R574, I’d ask you “Do you want me to show you?”, but alas I’m not a zoophile.
|by Clarabelle||reply 565||05/10/2018|
OP is fat.
|by Clarabelle||reply 566||05/10/2018|
R566, I thought he had been certified 90% USDA lean beef?
|by Clarabelle||reply 567||05/10/2018|
Nobody has to suffer! And with the exception of Tuppence, we shall have order here, you overrated hand-towel Helen Mirren.
|by Clarabelle||reply 568||05/10/2018|
|by Clarabelle||reply 569||05/10/2018|
Is that Marco Rubio in R569?
|by Clarabelle||reply 570||05/14/2018|
Good morning Sir! Good morning, Madam! Good Moo to you all this fine day!
Don’t forget there will be a Conga Line at the Barn Dance next Sunday, precisely at 9, so practice your moves now! No pile-ups this year!
|by Clarabelle||reply 571||05/14/2018|
OMG - an anonymous source tells me that gelatin is made from “prolonged boiling of skin, cartilage, and bones from animals, usually pigs and cattle”! What, was nobody going to tell me?! Quelle horreur! Moo, for the love of God! That would have been embarrassing.
Now I’m thinking of bringing. clover with a french vinaigrette dressing.
|by Clarabelle||reply 572||05/14/2018|
Practice your MOOves now!
|by Clarabelle||reply 573||05/14/2018|
Where is everybody? I was up with the chickens.
|by Clarabelle||reply 574||05/14/2018|
I started my day with the Hispanic cow dance, and I’ve had a great day. Super Moo to yoo, or [italic] tú. [/italic]
|by Clarabelle||reply 575||05/14/2018|
Given the, erm, soon-to-come status of many of you, do you think this would be an appropriate song for your dance?
|by Clarabelle||reply 576||05/14/2018|
R576, there is nothing “soon-to-come” for us cows to feer, they told me at registration! Stop the spooky ghost stories!
|by Clarabelle||reply 577||05/14/2018|
[quote] In 2013, João Maria de Souza, 45, was crushed by a cow falling through the roof of his home in Caratinga, Brazil. The cow was unharmed.
I was reading about unusual deaths, and I saw this and thought, well thank God the cow was unharmed. But why are cows falling from the sky in Caratinga?
|by Clarabelle||reply 578||05/16/2018|
Re R578, it may be due to Conga lessons. They can be dangerous if you’re a Guernsey or otherwise have no rhythm.
|by Clarabelle||reply 579||05/16/2018|
Dudley & Destiny
|by Clarabelle||reply 580||05/16/2018|
Adorable video, but is Destiny an approved name? It sounds somewhat like an 80s teen pop singer name.
|by Clarabelle||reply 581||05/16/2018|
You are correct! Destiny is NOT an approved name. Her proper name is Desdemona, which is preapprived under the 16th century fictional harlot regulation. She’s on notice, I’ll tell you that. Yes, indeed. Moo.
|by Clarabelle||reply 582||05/17/2018|
Tap tap tap...
Just a brief interruption to remind you that Desdemona is not to be confused with our lovely Dulcinea, who is lovely and beloved by all.
|by Clarabelle||reply 583||05/17/2018|
Does Dulcinea also come under the fictional harlot regulation, or is there a mid-20th century showtune regularion or both?
|by Clarabelle||reply 584||05/17/2018|
Does Dulcinea also come under the fictional harlot regulation, or is there a mid-20th century showtune regulation or both?
|by Clarabelle||reply 585||05/17/2018|
Our Dulcinea comes from a long line of whores, darlin'. Everyone knows that.
|by Clarabelle||reply 586||05/17/2018|
She's right, it's true.
|by Clarabelle||reply 587||05/17/2018|
I love the name Tuppence, and he's sexy, too.
|by Clarabelle||reply 588||05/17/2018|
Is Guinea an approved named?
|by Clarabelle||reply 589||05/17/2018|
No, “Guinea” is absolutely not an approved name. What is that, a collection of random letters?
|by Clarabelle||reply 590||05/17/2018|
[quote] Does Dulcinea also come under the fictional harlot regulation, or is there a mid-20th century showtune regulation or both?
I can see you are eager for an answer so I stayed up late researching this one. Moo. The name Dulcinea originated in [italic] Don Quixote, [/italic] published between 1605 and 1615. I think we can squeez this one into the 16th Century fictional harlot regulation. Most cows aren’t good at math so I don’t think anyone will fuss about this.
|by Clarabelle||reply 591||05/17/2018|
I think I can “squeez” your udders, R591, and orgasm while doing so.
|by Clarabelle||reply 592||05/17/2018|
Vermont cow, uncradled mug.
|by Clarabelle||reply 593||05/19/2018|
Oh my gosh, we got to a second thread! And just in time to celebrate the first anniversary of Monday Morning Moos! Which is Sunday, for some queer reason. I wanted to create part [italic] deux [/italic] before the barn dance.
Part [italic] deux [/italic] at the link.
|by Clarabelle||reply 594||05/19/2018|
This thread is still not at 600.
|by Clarabelle||reply 595||06/04/2018|
These cats aren’t very good at math, R595.
|by Clarabelle||reply 596||06/04/2018|
R596, I thought this thread was abou cows?
|by Clarabelle||reply 597||06/04/2018|
R596, I thought this thread was about cows?
|by Clarabelle||reply 598||06/04/2018|
I stand corrected, Sir!
It’s the cows that aren’t good at math.
|by Clarabelle||reply 599||06/04/2018|
|by Clarabelle||reply 600||06/04/2018|