So, it appears that many of DL's old threads are still available

I found Danny/Denny and his Samsonite!

Thanks for finding the original Denny thread!

Still searching hopelessly for Frosting Can Dad/African Baby Catalog.

Once Around the Garden (if the link works):

Yes, R3, thank you! I was fucking looking for that one!!!

It looks like only threads from 2008 or later are available.

That means no frosting dad, Red Dragon cheese, Sumerian Farmwives, Sows at the Trough, or Freaks You Work With.

*sniffle*

r5, Sows at The Trough was resurrected about a month or two ago, so it's definitely available. I'm not sure how to find it now though.

what about kerry mcnally's feet?

OMG! Please find the African Baby Catalog. It was the best!

Is this the crabwalking lesbian thread?

Large amounts of oil are leaking out of my rectum and I"m stuck in my cubicle - HELP!!!

My dying sister wants me to adopt her mentally retarded son

r8 is this one a derivative?

My favorite was the OP of this thread asked what motion picture he should take his very young date to see.

No turkey meatballs? Damn!

You'd think since most of the threads from 2008 are available, you'd be able to find the original Western Electric Co. Office Christmas Party thread, but no such luck.

This one's from 2007, kind of funny in a late-night stoner sort of way.

Ginny in Billing's collapse - was this the original Ginny thread, or was she introduced elsewhere?

Interesting tidbit: several years ago I posted in a thread where a guy confessed to being an EST who started a bunch of the classic threads we had back then, and the site went to Primetime, those EST threads disappeared, and a bunch of us were banned and had no idea why. It's great to see the threads back. I don't think I've seen some of these since 2009 or so.

The original Western Electric Co. Christmas Party thread, I believe:

Here's one I've been wanting to read again for years: the 2007 thread about keeping bread in the fridge. Things get... heated.

This isn't one of the infamous classics, but it's a fun read nonetheless:

People who "cradle" their coffee mugs

Anybody know how old some of the classic threads are? For instance, I think I read that the original Julie thread was from like 2001, so that's either gone forever, or will take a very long time to come back. The oldest thread that I've seen so far (other than the ones on that small archive) is Sows at the Trough from 2006.

I loved the thread about OP finding a possum in a cabinet drawer. Really funny.

Here R5 and R6, is a recent thread where the OP links to the original "Sows at the trough". There are some other great old threads linked in that thread, too. According to R20 there, 170k archived threads from 2008-2011 were recently imported. (I have no idea how they acquired that knowledge.)

Cat Detectives!

One simple question — "How can a cat gather clues and solve a crime?" — more than 100 hilarious responses.

Hope we get a chance to revisit 2006's "Famous JonBenets in History, and Their Accomplishments."

This isn't an old thread, but it deserves to be placed in the modern classics along with People Who Cradle Their Coffee Mugs.

I'VE STRUCK GOLD!

The infamous Vincent D'onofrio thread, with the infamous Vincent D'onofrio fans. r553 is when the blog crying about "Why do fat people smell?" is linked.

I wish my one and only DL masterpiece hadn't been deleted.

Even the followup thread for the ugly Giudice kids thread was hilarious ("Here comes my silverback wife"), and that was apparently nowhere near the gold in the first thread.

R50 That Giudice thread is what got me hooked on DL..She'll be out soon..lol

The thread that got me hooked on DL was "People Who Poop In Stores," so naturally, that was deleted as well. Ugh.

I've only been around DL for a few years, what is this quote from the kindaoaf cat sitting at a Craftsman Home thread referring to?

[quote]Easily one of the strangest sentences I've seen on DL, and I was here during the possum insanity and gargoyle on the ledge situation.

[quote]Hope we get a chance to revisit 2006's "Famous JonBenets in History, and Their Accomplishments."

I loved that one too, but I don't think it's nearly that old.

At least I hope not. I remember reading that one in my old cube.

I haven't found the main thread by and about lovable DL catfish Hootz from West Virginia, although I have dug up a couple of threads he posted in once.

Here's another modern classic I forgot to include: The two fussy queens arguing endlessly about irrelevant shit during the 2015 snowstorm.

Anybody know which Thanksgiving the original Nephew Troll thread was posted?

It's a shame that 'People Who Poop In Stores' was deleted. That thread had me in tears from laughing so hard.

Holy shit. I was / am Daniel Boon. I forgot all about that. I don't come here much any more and almost never post. I kept thinking that thread would be taken over as a sort of collaboration or collective.

I re-read some of that now and vacillate between laughing my ass off and horror. I was drinking heavily back then ( since been to rehab, sober for 4 years ) and while a good part of the thread is true, there's a bunch just posted to agitate the fuck out of the PETA folks and the type of people that ruined DL.

Thanks for the trip down memory lane.

you are america's favorite

(My favourite ever)

The Daniel Boon thread is wonderful.

You would have done much better for yourself and the plane, Mary OP, if you had killed a cat instead. Cat's serve no useful functia and they decimate the bird populatia. Birds are essential for your survival due to their pollinatia of plants and other things.

planet

I forgot how great the Ginny thread was. We need more threads like that.

R33, that was me -- I was referring to the possum in a drawer thread, and the gargoyle on the ledge thread.

Here's "My new neighbor is a Gargoyle" though I don't think the pictures work anymore:

This one is hilarious, from 2008.

It's too bad we don't have access to the 9-11 world trade center thread, interesting times. There really should be a printed transcript at the Smithsonian.

r48 here 'tis

I would love to read the first Golden Girls Inconsistencies thread again.

THE POOP WAS DRY!

Fun old thread about gay Atlanta in the '70s and '80s:

Annual Thanksgiving thread for 2015 ?

^That reminds me, how old is the Weepy Thanksgiving Vegan thread?

ALL Thanksgiving threads rule!

The Jani Lane thread brought me here. I have it bookmarked, but it won't take; and a search turns up nothing😥

The archive search function is spectacularly unreliable. I wonder if the 07 threads are as far back as the archives will ever go. I can't imagine there are 20 years worth of threads kept stashed somewhere.

No Umpy threads? I loved Umpy. "Do black people like G.H.W. Bush?" -- my version of an Umpy question.

I LOVE me some old Timey Threads!

Brandon, let us know you're alive!!!

or not, it's okay

Here's the oldest thread that I've been able to find so far. I believe this is the second Julie thread.

How does one find these ancient threads?

[quote] How does one find these ancient threads?

Follow the scent of Miss Helen Bedd.

indeed

I've just been searching infamous DL words like Julie, Cheryl, etc. and trying to find the oldest threads available.

FYI, Google is more reliable for finding any DL thread than the search tool. Just type in your search terms followed by [bold]site: datalounge.com[/bold]

very fun to know

Is their any threads about andrew garfield and his male conquests.?The ones i heard about got deleted sadly.

This brings back a lot of memories.

I wish some of the Judy "Pills" Garland threads were still around.

R71, that shit the bed event was more bizarre/entertaining than the OJ Bronco chase.

[quote] R71, that shit the bed event was more bizarre/entertaining than the OJ Bronco chase.

Ha, ha, ha! I'll say.

he's still around, maybe he can find them. . . . . .

That Julie thread is still funny (God, I've been here a long time). Back then Julie was just farting in elevators and such, but she was showing signs of becoming a world-famous cunt scourge of the famous and infamous...

[quote]Julie was "shush"ing people at Coretta Scott King's funeral, and when Maya Angelou cam eup to the podium, Julie said "I loved 'Touched by an Angel!'"

I liked this one too -- not as outrageous, but it still conveys what a sorry bitch she is.

[quote]Julie snitches other people's food from the refrigerator at work. I saw her eating my fat-free Danone raspberry-vanilla yogurt on Tuesday.

[quoteI confronted her about it and she laughed and said "What, you're the only person in the world who likes yogurt?"

Julie is a cunt

Live coverage of Liza on HSN!

Purely by accident, I found Mme. Zoe, the lesbian who pulled bug spray out of her purse and killed a spider on the porch of another lesbian couple!

Found the classic Ped-Egg one!

I don't remember Hootz and can't vouch for the hilarity of this thread, but here's his DL introduction:

I long for "my boyfriend called me an idiot for storing bread in the refrigerator"

R69, this thread is for linking to classic funny threads, not just any random old gossip about some fugly nobody.

Dumbass.

Sluicing butterfish!

I liked this one very much...many of the links are gone after FIVE years but it's still great.

"America in the 1970s...Post something that captures it."

The one and only "Dog fucks baby in the ass!"

Can't shit. Clown will eat me.

[quote] Can't shit.

Neither can I! My shofa is too hard.

How To Get Rid of Pigeons!

Is Only Being Able to Tuck Away $1600 a Month Kind of Pathetic for a 28-year-old?

This isn't the original "THREAD CLOSED!" thread, (at least I don't think it is), but it's one of them and it's hysterical.

My Cell Phone Blocker strikes again!

"Mommy, that Man Called Us 'Twats!"

DL is rarely this catty anymore, unfortunately.

I've Tried This, like 3 Times so Far and it Sets Tourist Fraus on FIRE for Some Reason.

r33 a possum broke into someone's home and gave birth in a drawer and there were photos.

Was reading the exploits of the imaginary cell phone blocker. It's amazing how credulous DLers were about this. A wish fulfillment fantasy maybe?

Well, it's worth a look.

Sorry. R96 is the Lesbian Potluck Wedding Reception (Pot luck for a wedding reception permissible?) thread from 2007.

Did any of the legendary gossip threads survive? We're always being told how great the gossip around here used to be.

R98 I can't l Iocate any of the juicy d'Arcy threads. The gossip may be gone for good.

It would be nice if the DL did some kind of social-network or content analysis of these threads.

I really, really hope that since a bunch of threads from 2007 through 2009 magically returned, the rest are still around somewhere. I mean, I doubt there are still threads as far back as 1995, but maybe at least back to 2003 or so.

r86, I thought DFBITA! was gone forever. Thank you.

When I got to Cesar Millan and realized that was ME, nearly nine years ago...

Just found this one. It's not infamous, but it's a great example of how fantastic this site used to be, with wit in nearly every post!

"Will a plastic owl keep squirrels and birds away?"

Here is the wonderful Gaggle of Queens watching the news announcement of Princess Diana dying.

Sumerian Housewives Resurrected

[quote]Goomgam, are things okay between you and the hubby? I notice your left hand is hacked off.

[bold]"Have you seen your partner pooping?"[/bold]

From R13 in that thread:

My partner and I are fortunate, as neither of us poop in the disgusting conventional manner.

Once a week I awaken to find a neatly-wrapped box in the nether regions of my pajamas, which I promptly deposit into the trash.

My partner emits a ceramic figurine every two days or so. I love hearing the "clink!" of it when it hits the toilet. After a simple run through the dishwasher, we have another adorable statuette to add to our collection.

Last week he emitted the cunningest little sad-clown-in-the-rain! The umbrella apparently scraped his anus a bit when it came out -- but my partner kvells over it, and our friends are beside themselves with jealousy.

From the Princess Diana Scream thread:

[quote]I was at a gay dinner party that night. When we got the news one of the hosts had to go lie down. We could hear audible sobs from the bedroom. Finally his partner went in to comfort him. We just all looked at each other and left.

I did a literal spit take reading that.

Were gossip threads permanently deleted?

Google to check, r109

Princess Diana dead!

Awoorarguhr!

where did you guys find all the old threads?

the internets

Found this gem, addressing some old troll back in 2005 named Peppermint Patty.

I really wish more of those referenced here could be found....

Go the fuck away, thread dredger.

116 = yeast-infected cunt looking for something to purse her lips about.

[quote] Go the fuck away, thread dredger.

I did not like Heath Ledger in his role as "Joker".

I'm dying! I've been looking for the infamous Jani Lane DL thread FOREVER and I can't find it! Does anyone have it?

R119 I'm almost positive that one got deleted.

R119 Yes R120 is correct. That thread was deleted a few days after Jani died. Even the follow-up threads were deleted. God, I remember following the original thread in real time, as it was happening, and I've never experienced anything else like it, before or since. The whole thing was amazing, so maybe someone thought to copy and save it, but I wouldn't hold your breath that they would post it.

Maybe parts of it got posted elsewhere that still might have it? I remember when Jani's girlfriend(s) got on here to tell us it was all a bunch of lies. They found out about the original thread when someone from DL posted the link at a heavy metal music forum.

fun to see what we all know

"How does one find these ancient threads?"

Have no life and live with your aged mother in a rural backwater?

she had a great job, her name was concetta.

Look what I found!

That's glorious, R125. I'm amazed the thread made it all the way to 10 responses before turning into a hair-pulling free for all in the girl's bathroom.

And thanks for bumping the parent thread, FINALLY I know what Once Around the Garden is about.

i LURVED that thread back in the day

[quote]Well, an "Isaac" there is certainly nice. I just called and asked ( VERY politely by the way) "What time do you girls, close tonight?" and he gave me a little snort and told me "8pm" and I said "Thank you" and he said "You're welcome".

I audibly laughed at this for longer than I care to admit.

any more?

I'd love to read some of the classic DL "field trip" threads.

[quote]I'd love to read some of the classic DL "field trip" threads.

The field trip to the tabloid paper where Britfraus were clucking over the Madeleine McCann kidnapping may have been the best.

R131 Link if you can.

r132 It's gone. Trust me, I've been looking for that one forever. "THE LITTLE BITCH DESERVED IT!!!"

I actually haven't been able to find ANY field trip threads, unfortunately. I would pay so much money to get more old threads restored. Even that lame-ass archive that Muriel kept, which had all of like 10 threads (some of which weren't even that classic), doesn't work anymore. Honestly, I would just like to know if they're really gone forever. The threads from 2007-2010 randomly returned to us, which made me think there was hope for threads from even further back, but there hasn't been anything since.

R133 I've been wondering that too.

If I knew how to contact her, I'd ask Muriel, but you know that uncommunicative bitch wouldn't respond.

it's all very strange

[quote]The field trip to the tabloid paper where Britfraus were clucking over the Madeleine McCann kidnapping may have been the best.

I remember that thread. It was hilarious. Leeann Devette was posting on the Brit site and then reporting back.

The Britfraus went BANANAS when Leeann posted "That little harlot had it coming!"

[quote] Leeann Devette was posting on the Brit site and then reporting back.

she was a bitch, but she was CLASSIC

how fun!

Oh dear...

bump

Did we lose the "What's Your Favorite Helen Lawson Musical?" thread? That was genius.

R3 Just visited Once Around the Salad Bar -- Thank you thank you!

OMG - Thank you guys so much! I just finished Butterfish (Oil out of my ass) and I'm choking from laughing so hard. The OPs on some of these are brilliant! Yes, the thread posters are great but the original set-ups are outstanding! It's like reading Monty Python scripts that couldn't be made...

Is this one?

R145 YES!!

R11 starts out funny but turns nasty and cruel.

I'm only on post 48 of Ginny From Accounting Just Collapsed and I'm choking on spit. There's another 300 posts to go. I'll be dead of a heart attack before I finish this. OMG -- you old DLers were the best!! Great, great stuff!

Please tell me someone linked some michfest threads. Those used to make me laugh till I cried.

Michfest: THE PRE-DRAMA BEGINS

MICHFEST 2011: RETURN OF THE RAINBOW EXPRESS

MICHFEST 2010: THE AFTERMATH

MICHFEST 2012

This year's Michfest begfest

It's almost August... and you know what that means! MICHFEST!

Thank you to everyone who has contributed to consolidating these threads, posted in them, etc... I read the 911 thread beginning to end as it’s been referenced many times.....so many details as they happened that one one forgets, and things you can no longer find on the internet (hm).

Since it’s apparently permanently gone, can someone summarize the Jani Lane thread?

R156 is this the Jani Lane thread you were referring to?

Thank you, R157. I think there was one pulled, but the one you linked gets me the gist of it. I appreciate it!

R150 OK Pre-drama isn't funny. This Michfest thing better perk up to Ginny or Butterfish standards...

R151 Neither is this thread funny. I'll digging through Michfest but this is nowhere near the current 'coworker brought a shitty pie'