Tell us some things that you've used to fuck yourself with that wasn't a penis or a dildo. Its anonymous, so please be honest.%0D %0D I'll start, the top of a bowling pin.
Things that have been up your hole
|by Anonymous||reply 143||05/29/2015|
One of those little souvenir baseball bats I bought at an Atlanta Braves game.
|by Anonymous||reply 1||07/19/2010|
A thermometer when I was a baby.
|by Anonymous||reply 2||07/19/2010|
The handle of a ball peen hammer, and the handle of a screwdriver (rotate it and the ridges give you a vibrator-like feeling).
Home Depot sells the best sex toys.
|by Anonymous||reply 3||07/19/2010|
OP, are you the hole troll? We need a new hole presentation thread STAT. The second one is full!
|by Anonymous||reply 4||07/19/2010|
[quote] Its anonymous, so please be honest.%0D %0D Actually, thanks to troll-dar, it's NOT anonymous.%0D %0D Next time you have a grudge against someone, you can follow them around the board and mock them by saying, "hey, it's the guy who shoved a bowling pin up his ass!"%0D %0D Isn't troll-dar great?
|by Anonymous||reply 5||07/19/2010|
Nothing. Nothing at all.
|by Anonymous||reply 6||07/19/2010|
|by Anonymous||reply 7||07/19/2010|
I have BIG hopes for this thread...
|by Anonymous||reply 8||07/19/2010|
Two turtle doves
|by Anonymous||reply 9||07/19/2010|
We were double-penetrated by the Eiffel Tower and the Leaning Tower of Pisa in our recent travels.
|by Anonymous||reply 10||07/19/2010|
The national touring company of "Chu Chin Chow".
|by Anonymous||reply 11||07/19/2010|
|by Anonymous||reply 12||07/19/2010|
The handles of a toothbruth and a hairbrush(not at the same time)%0D %0D
|by Anonymous||reply 13||07/19/2010|
My boyfriend's iPod. The Nano. Ahem.
|by Anonymous||reply 14||07/19/2010|
|by Anonymous||reply 15||07/19/2010|
Tucker Carlson's hair rollers.
|by Anonymous||reply 16||07/19/2010|
A Stretch Armstrong doll
|by Anonymous||reply 17||07/19/2010|
[quote}A Stretch Armstrong doll%0D %0D Well, Taylor, that's one way to research your roles.
|by Anonymous||reply 18||07/19/2010|
Gumby! Pokey was too....uh, pokey.
|by Anonymous||reply 19||07/19/2010|
Your daddy's dick.%0D %0D Tinymeat, by the way.
|by Anonymous||reply 20||07/19/2010|
[quote]My boyfriend's iPod. So, what was on his iPod?
|by Anonymous||reply 21||07/19/2010|
The BOTTOM of a bowling pin.
|by Anonymous||reply 22||07/19/2010|
1967 Volkswagon Beetle
|by Anonymous||reply 23||07/19/2010|
Bea Arthur's beer can cock.
|by Anonymous||reply 24||07/19/2010|
A candlestick that looks like two faces
|by Anonymous||reply 25||07/19/2010|
A set of portable computer speakers.
|by Anonymous||reply 26||07/19/2010|
CBC weathertwink Ryan Snoddon. All of him.
|by Anonymous||reply 27||07/19/2010|
lots and lots of toys, a number of dicks and a stray cucumber.
|by Anonymous||reply 28||07/19/2010|
This thread is hilarious already.
|by Anonymous||reply 29||07/19/2010|
|by Anonymous||reply 30||07/19/2010|
Oscar statuette. I never realized what broad shoulders it had. And cold.
|by Anonymous||reply 31||07/19/2010|
B.D. Wong's cock.
|by Anonymous||reply 32||07/19/2010|
R31 = Gwyneth
|by Anonymous||reply 33||07/19/2010|
The United States Constitution
|by Anonymous||reply 34||07/19/2010|
Sorry, I misread the OP's post. Other than cock, nothing has been up my ass, so I will save my B.D. story for another thread.
|by Anonymous||reply 35||07/19/2010|
r27, let's move to Canada and get married!
|by Anonymous||reply 36||07/19/2010|
Dick Cheney.%0D %0D Karl Rove%0D %0D Jeff Gannon
|by Anonymous||reply 37||07/19/2010|
[quote] B.D. Wong's cock.%0D %0D Please, Mary. BD Wong is the bottomiest bottom that ever bottomed.
|by Anonymous||reply 38||07/19/2010|
The Colorado River
|by Anonymous||reply 39||07/19/2010|
Penises, fingers and sex toys. That's it, counting only things that go "up".
|by Anonymous||reply 40||07/19/2010|
An ionic breeze. That's why I am so fresh.
|by Anonymous||reply 41||07/19/2010|
A cooked Italian sausage.%0D %0D You ask, "Why was it cooked?" %0D %0D My response: So I could take a bite of the sausage and eat it when my master took the sausage out of my ass. And then after taking a bite, my master shoved the rest of the sausage back up my ass to continue fucking me with it.
|by Anonymous||reply 42||07/19/2010|
Was this on Top chef? I believe I saw that one.
|by Anonymous||reply 43||07/19/2010|
The 82nd Airborne Division.
|by Anonymous||reply 44||07/19/2010|
Johnny Hazzard dildo. Cost me $60 bucks!
|by Anonymous||reply 45||07/19/2010|
Me too, r44!
|by Anonymous||reply 46||07/19/2010|
the nose of a rubber kitchen witch in a game of truth or dare in the 5th grade
|by Anonymous||reply 47||07/19/2010|
R43 made me giggle.
|by Anonymous||reply 48||07/19/2010|
I'll bet most of these posts are cut and pasted from the Michfest board.
|by Anonymous||reply 49||07/19/2010|
We've been known to host the Troups de Marines and the light and armoured calvary (all at once) in our vagine one weekend in which many cocktails and drugs were ing%C3%83%C2%A9r%C3%83%C2%A9.
|by Anonymous||reply 50||07/19/2010|
When I was a kid, I tried using hot dogs, but they just fell apart when you tried to in and out them. I also used the round knob on the gear shift of the riding lawn mower and a bedpost.
|by Anonymous||reply 51||07/19/2010|
A smarties (candy, like M&M's) container.
My only excuse, I was a teenager, it was the only thing I could find that seemed to be the "right" size to experiment with.
|by Anonymous||reply 52||07/19/2010|
Um, you're not MPC, R50. She is notoriously, stridently anti-drug.
|by Anonymous||reply 53||07/19/2010|
Has anyone ever tried a traffic cone?
|by Anonymous||reply 54||07/19/2010|
A good proportion of my weekly produce shop. I HATE zucchinis, but buy a lot of them.
|by Anonymous||reply 55||07/19/2010|
R54 - yep
|by Anonymous||reply 56||07/19/2010|
First thing ever - my family's Ban Roll On Deodorant dispenser. The old-timer cylinder-shaped ones. Little did the stinkers in my family know...
|by Anonymous||reply 57||07/19/2010|
"Stinker" being the operative word R57.
|by Anonymous||reply 58||07/19/2010|
Too bad those stinkers didn't use Tickle...the grooviest, most phallic deodorant of them all:
|by Anonymous||reply 59||07/19/2010|
Zak Spears (still the hottest daddy around!) describes what he first shoved up his hole
|by Anonymous||reply 60||07/19/2010|
|by Anonymous||reply 61||07/19/2010|
|by Anonymous||reply 62||07/19/2010|
aquarium heater, Brut aftershave bottle, Pantene shampoo bottle, and a Norelco electric (vibrating) shaver that secretes its own lube!
|by Anonymous||reply 63||07/19/2010|
Hotel size shampoo bottle (am I really the first to post this in our jet-set world?)
My entire Swatch brand wrist watch.....in college....on multiple occasions.....
|by Anonymous||reply 64||07/19/2010|
This thread is worthless without pictures.
|by Anonymous||reply 65||07/19/2010|
OP you are gross. Most of you are so repulsive. Do you really need to stretch your hole that much. Ugh. That fisting shit I really don't get AT ALL. Makes me sick.
|by Anonymous||reply 66||07/19/2010|
go away, prisspot, you're not welcome
|by Anonymous||reply 67||07/19/2010|
|by Anonymous||reply 68||07/19/2010|
Gummi worms when I was just a lad, then shampoo bottles, candles and brush handles.
|by Anonymous||reply 69||07/19/2010|
Does anyone know what R66 is going on about?
|by Anonymous||reply 70||07/20/2010|
she (r66) has a stick up her butt
|by Anonymous||reply 71||07/20/2010|
This is a good thread title for mashups.
Things that have been up your hole: Tucker Carlson vs Keith Olbermann
|by Anonymous||reply 72||07/20/2010|
This thread reminds me of an article in the L.A. Reader (early 80's) listing objects that one emergency room had removed from different assholes. It was an astonishing list. The one I remember cracking up about was a light bulb.
|by Anonymous||reply 73||07/20/2010|
The neck of a Budweiser beer bottle when I was 17.
I lubed it with KY first.
Boy am I lucky I didn't wind up with shattered glass up my ass.
|by Anonymous||reply 74||07/20/2010|
I've done the beer bottle before.
|by Anonymous||reply 75||07/20/2010|
cucumbers, carrots, dildos of various sizes...the usual...
|by Anonymous||reply 76||07/20/2010|
Who wanted photos?
They say this is a vibrator, but it looks more like a remote control (scroll down)
PS: This is a medical site where they show the Xrays first and then how they got it out. Maybe not for the queasy. (but you asked!)
|by Anonymous||reply 77||07/20/2010|
"...described a 50-year-old man who was seen at an emergency department for abdominal pain. (18) A physical examination revealed peritonitis and an X-ray revealed a shadow of an eel in the abdomen. After further questioning, the patient reported that he had inserted a live eel (pictured above left) into his rectum to relieve constipation. The 50 cm-long eel had perforated his rectum and was quickly removed.
(Photo. YES, of an eel. Being extracted from an asshole.)
Buzzard and Waxman reported the removal of a plastic vibrator from the rectum of a 65-year-old man who had had it in his rectum for 6 months and even traveled around the world with it.
Graves et al. described a patient with a large peanut butter glass jar lodged in his rectum. The patient claimed that he was washing his dog in the shower when he slipped and fell on a glass jar, which then entered his rectum
|by Anonymous||reply 78||07/20/2010|
|by Anonymous||reply 79||07/20/2010|
The objects homosexuals insert into their rectum are only limited by the capacity of their rectum, not their imagination.
For instance, Cooper described a 33-year-old homosexual patient with a 14 inch-long sand-filled bicycle tube in his rectum. He and his partners regularly inserted the sand-filled tubes into each others rectum, till one day they lost a tube beyond recovery into the patient%C3%A2%C2%80%C2%99s rectum. Stephens and Taff described a homosexual who had his partner give him an enema with a concrete mix, followed by the insertion of a ping-pong ball to retain the mix. The concrete hardened and the homosexual ended up in an emergency department. The patient refused a psychiatric consultation recommended by the physician.
|by Anonymous||reply 80||07/20/2010|
I can't believe we're past 80 responses and no one has said this yet:%0D %0D A gerbil
|by Anonymous||reply 81||07/20/2010|
2 litre coke bottle
|by Anonymous||reply 82||07/20/2010|
Cock. But, no tongue or finger. %0D %0D I tongue and finger holes, not the other way around.
|by Anonymous||reply 83||07/20/2010|
Why are people always claiming a slip and fall when something is found in their rectums? The odds of that have to be about a billion to one.
|by Anonymous||reply 84||07/20/2010|
What are you? A fucking moron?
They claim they slipped and fell on the object because of shame and embarrassment.
|by Anonymous||reply 85||07/20/2010|
This would be a great category on Jeopardy.
I'll take Things That Have Been up Your Hole for 1000, Alex.
|by Anonymous||reply 86||07/20/2010|
|by Anonymous||reply 87||07/20/2010|
the WHOLE FUCKING BREAKFAST CLUB
|by Anonymous||reply 88||07/20/2010|
[quote]an enema with a concrete mix, followed by the insertion of a ping-pong ball to retain the mix. The concrete hardened and the homosexual ended up in an emergency department. %0D %0D No wonder we haven't heard from mhb lately.
|by Anonymous||reply 89||07/20/2010|
Anyone ever heard of the iBrator?
|by Anonymous||reply 90||07/20/2010|
An Officer and a Gentleman
|by Anonymous||reply 91||07/21/2010|
A Few Good Men
|by Anonymous||reply 92||07/21/2010|
As funny as some of this is, there is a video on (I think) Efukt where some guy is sticking a glass jar up his ass and it shatters on him. Hilarity ensues.
|by Anonymous||reply 93||07/21/2010|
It's been posted here on the DL
|by Anonymous||reply 94||07/21/2010|
"Police in Wenatchee are surprised at the amount of contraband an inmate was able to smuggle into the jail rectally. The Wenatchee World said the man internally carried a cigarette lighter, rolling papers, a baggie of tobacco the size of a golf ball, a smaller baggie of marijuana, a 1-inch smoking pipe, a bottle of tattoo ink and eight tattoo needles."
|by Anonymous||reply 95||07/23/2010|
i once stuck a hammer up my butt.(not the handle)i'm dead serious.
|by Anonymous||reply 96||04/26/2011|
I know a lady who works in a hospital who tells us all kinds of stories, such as this one. The police brought in this skanky druggie they nabbed after she had gone on a stealing spree because she had really bad stomach cramps. As she's standing there in emerg, she bends over in pain and stuff starts falling our of her coin purse, among them a cellphone and set of car keys she had stolen. Can you imagine? Would you like your keys back? Uh... no. I'll just buy a new car, thank you.
|by Anonymous||reply 97||04/26/2011|
The entire male population of Worcester, MA.
|by Anonymous||reply 98||04/26/2011|
It's so common it's ceased to be funny, but I have seen lodged in the rectum and needing to be surgically retrieved:%0D %0D Vibrators (many, in males and females)%0D %0D a Mrs Butterworths syrup bottle (yes she was still smiling)%0D %0D a Ken doll%0D %0D a whole orange (this guy has been in several times, each time claiming to have left the offending fruit in a chair, and then he "accidentally" sits on it after having a shower - OOPS!)%0D %0D The penis ones are just as bad - many pencils, feathers etc stuck in the urethra.%0D %0D One sad case - a guy was brought in to the ER in the middle of summer wearing a coat. He stuck his dick in a 50# weight from his barbell set and it got stuck. They had to sort of filet his dick in surgery to get it out.%0D %0D I don't know if she stayed with him.%0D %0D
|by Anonymous||reply 99||04/26/2011|
a little light saber
|by Anonymous||reply 100||02/26/2013|
Corn. On the cob of course.
|by Anonymous||reply 101||02/26/2013|
Hand, foot, amputees stump ( leg and arm..poor unlucky bastard.) toip of a bald guys head, rubber baby doll ( come on girls THATS easy!) full rack of billiard balls, one steel bocci ball, bowling pin, louisv ille slugger baseball bat, half a football, half a rugby ball, in fact every regualtion sized sports ball smaller than soccer , basketball, or vollyball.
a yard of steel nautical chain, a dozen raw eggs which I later laid and served at brunch , all major vegetable and fruits, traffic pylons, a metal parking stanchion , various fuck machines, set a Russian nesting dolls, beach umbrella (unopened)
plus too many moire to count... plus I need to "attend" to something
|by Anonymous||reply 102||02/26/2013|
A Rubik's cube.
|by Anonymous||reply 103||02/26/2013|
Sharpie permanent markers, a pair of dice (which ultimately became lost).
|by Anonymous||reply 104||02/26/2013|
My older sister's toothbrush; she was such a bitch to me growing up.
|by Anonymous||reply 105||02/26/2013|
I ALWAYS LOVE CHERYL'S COMMENTS!R41
|by Anonymous||reply 106||02/26/2013|
That Zak Spears video wouldn't play.
|by Anonymous||reply 107||02/26/2013|
Well, one drunken night... Earrings... and two caftans....
|by Anonymous||reply 108||02/26/2013|
Corn, R101? Corn? Now when did I have corn??
|by Anonymous||reply 109||02/26/2013|
I am 9 and my cousins hard dick
|by Anonymous||reply 110||07/01/2013|
A bottle of Goldschlager
|by Anonymous||reply 111||07/01/2013|
A kilo of cocaine wrapped in little plastic bags. I made it passed security and into the state prison. The other inmates were thrilled. And I made a ton of money.
|by Anonymous||reply 112||07/01/2013|
A sailor moon doll. My friend collected them in boxes. Super anal bout them. So I oppened ome and. Stuck it up my a"ss and fucked myself "raw. And my mom s. toothbrish
|by Anonymous||reply 113||11/18/2013|
|by Anonymous||reply 114||11/18/2013|
Four calling birds, three French hens, two turtle doves and a partridge... I couldn't quite get the pear tree in, but I'm working on it.
|by Anonymous||reply 115||11/18/2013|
Capitol Hill correspondent Luke Russert on the beat for the hole story.
|by Anonymous||reply 116||11/18/2013|
|by Anonymous||reply 117||11/18/2013|
When I was a teenager, experimenting, I would cover frozen hot dogs with Saran Wrap and lube them up with vegetable oil. Don't worry...I'd always throw the hot dog away...
|by Anonymous||reply 118||11/18/2013|
r99 Why didn't somebody just blow that erstwhile body builder, to make his dick soft?
|by Anonymous||reply 119||11/19/2013|
A condom filled with frozen water. You don't wanna know how that ended...
|by Anonymous||reply 120||11/19/2013|
A ferret ... but [italic]only[/italic] after it was made zestfully clean via a whirl in the dishwasher.
|by Anonymous||reply 121||11/19/2013|
I like a lot of stuff including a Pantene shampoo bottle or a coke
|by Anonymous||reply 122||03/03/2014|
The neck of a small vase with bumps on, hair brush handle, lip gloss tube.
|by Anonymous||reply 123||10/29/2014|
Not to get too far off topic, but what is it with putting sticks up the urethra these days? Is that new? I had to get a VD test a couple of times back in the day and by CHRIST that hurt.
What's the appeal, sluts?
|by Anonymous||reply 124||10/29/2014|
Besides the aforementioned cucumbers, brush handles, screwdriver handles and candlesticks,
|by Anonymous||reply 125||10/29/2014|
Ice cubes seem like a strange thing to stick up there.
|by Anonymous||reply 126||10/30/2014|
My own dick.
|by Anonymous||reply 127||10/30/2014|
Mr. Hugh Jackman's Aussie sausage.
|by Anonymous||reply 128||10/30/2014|
You are all sick, SICK FUCKS!!
|by Anonymous||reply 129||10/31/2014|
|by Anonymous||reply 130||10/31/2014|
An unpeeled, green banana.
|by Anonymous||reply 131||11/16/2014|
|by Anonymous||reply 132||11/27/2014|
A concrete dildo.
|by Anonymous||reply 133||12/31/2014|
The OP's tongue
|by Anonymous||reply 134||12/31/2014|
A 7 inch frozen turd packed in a condom.
|by Anonymous||reply 135||12/31/2014|
Each one of Ann Coulter's bestsellers.
|by Anonymous||reply 136||12/31/2014|
|by Anonymous||reply 137||12/31/2014|
All the shits I couldn't give, but then *miraculously* I could!
|by Anonymous||reply 138||12/31/2014|
|by Anonymous||reply 139||12/31/2014|
Hillary Clinton's last book. Not sure what was more painful. Reading it or putting it up my ass.
|by Anonymous||reply 140||12/31/2014|
|by Anonymous||reply 141||02/25/2015|
Saddle horn, yee haw. Toy dump truck, a very chic rolling pin from Williams Sonoma.
I guess this isn't a frau thread, thank god.
|by Anonymous||reply 142||02/25/2015|
I could stick up to three fat crayola markers up my vagina. Pens, razor handles, hairbrush handles. I have tried one of the handles on a bouncy ball before, but I was too tight at the time.
|by Anonymous||reply 143||05/29/2015|