Jealousy, Loneliness, and Being a Third Wheel

I asked them for some help and opened up emotionally. The lawyer offered to pay a bill or two, but he would not give me cash. The software engineer has been distant to me ever since. I'm sure they have discussed the situation.

[quote] Any advice?

Yes: Grow up.

You know damn well it is you who are to blame if you are pathologizing their happiness during their private time .

Make it a point to give them more room for your own sanity and happiness, and for the sake of the friendship--it sounds like you're resentful of the time the lawyer spends alone with his partner, which is going to end badly for YOU particularly unless you get a hold of this jealousy right now and find other friends and interests.

[quote] The lawyer offered to pay a bill or two, but he would not give me cash.

Why are you asking them for money???

You sound like a whiner and they think you're a whiner.

R2 I guess I am jealous. He is just so well read, kind, and classic old money. The software engineer is cold and aloof.

R3 I was short on a few bills. The lawyer helped paid the bills.

R4 How so?

OP: Get out of the house more. Join a few Meetup groups, and attend an event or two.

If you don't take my advice, you are either looking for pity or absolution. Or both.

R6 I'm trying to. It is just hard. The lawyer is a runner. He runs like 3 miles everyday. I made a comment to the software engineer about running with him and he said "he likes to run alone to clear his head." Kind of harsh.

Aside from one or two very close friends, as soon as a conversation goes off on borrowing money, I'm done. Most people are the same way, in my experience, and don't really want to hear about the financial problems of random people...we aren't banks. It was inappropriate of you to bring up the subject, and make them feel awkward. I suspect your relationship with them will have changed significantly.

^I agree 100% with r8.

NEVER ask friends for monetary help, ever. It is the kiss of death for any friendship.

OP. Watch the movie All About Eve. You should be able to figure out which character you are, Miss Harrington.

Also, you need to stop discussing your financial problems with people. How did this come up in conversation? Nobody wants to hear this shit. They will stay away in droves.

[quote] I made a comment to the software engineer about running with him and he said "he likes to run alone to clear his head." Kind of harsh.

No, you're just a neurotic mess. Most people run, hike or do other activities solo, because it helps them relax or makes them feel good.

Not everything is about you, Messy Mary.

R8 R9 we were talking in general and I said I was a little behind on some bills. The lawyer offered to help cover one bill ($60). He helped me pay it online with his card. I did NOT ask.

R10 go away

R11 How am I a neurotic mess??

Lawyer and software engineer are a power couple

[quote] How am I a neurotic mess??

In your own words

[quote] I get a little jealous when they go on date nights just the two of them. It is not healthy.

[quote] do not think the software engineer likes me either.

You're a needy, broke Debbie Downer, and the overture of friendship was probably blown to smithereens the minute you told them you needed money.

And if you're insinuating one likes you more than the other, then you're probably passive-aggressively trying to break them up and let one of them be your sugar daddy.

MESS

MESS

MESS

Need I say it again? M-E-S-S Mess

Unhealthy attachment issues with the lawyer!

OP, you need a therapist. Not because you’re a bad person or you’re crazy, but you need a detached party to help you make the best of your situation and to help you create a plan to work your way out of it. If you have lost your insurance, every free health clinic or county health department should either have someone on staff or be able to refer you to another resource.

You deserve to talk to someone who can help, OP.

OP, I don’t know why I’m posting because you’re not ready to hear any constructive criticism but...

> Others are not responsible for your happiness or well-being. Not friends, not family members, not even your husband. That’s on you.

> You need better boundaries. Don’t be inviting yourself along to others’ leisure activities. You want to hang out with others? Invite them. Without pressure. And recognize they are as entitled to reject as accept your overtures. And don’t even imply you need friends’ financial help, let alone ask for it outright. Not the role of a friend. Try your neighborhood bank.

> Get yourself into therapy. Today.

OP, you need to learn to love your own company. Stop being the third wheel and start doing activities on your own. Join a club, find people with common interests. Volunteer somewhere if you have the time. Pay the money back, and unless you're absolutely desperate, don't allow the lawyer to cover your bill again. You can get yourself our of this rut, but you have to do it alone. The lawyer can't hold your hand.

R16 is correct

You're not quite their kind, dear. Stick to your class OP.

One is a lawyer and the other is a software engineer means they are obviously loaded, but too cheap to help you out. That is messed up, I would look for better friends. Not to mention one of them doesn't want you to go running with him.

I just don’t care about peoples stupid sob stories anymore.

If you are having an economic situation then I feel for you because it’s harder than ever to get out of that trap. You absolutely have to have someone else pull you out now. It’s not something you can do on your own.

Otherwise, if your basic needs are met then I don’t want to hear it.

R20 Are they obviously loaded though? The software engineer and lawyer never go out or take big international trips.

OP back away, really, I mean this with total kindness. You have seriously crossed boundaries with them by asking for money. That is not appropriate. You need to give them space, it is clear just from your post that you are intruding on them and they are throwing up red flags. My advice regarding them: do not initiate plans, only if THEY initiate inviting you somewhere; smile, be polite and kind to them but be VERY conscious about being intrusive. You also clearly need some counseling- either to understand appropriate boundaries with people, or because you are going through some emotional turmoil that is making social cues unclear to you. (because it is VERY obvious to all of us that they are sending large social cues to you to back off and you are not seeing it).

As far as meeting other people, I am sure other people have good advice, this sounds Single White Female to me. If you do not back off right now these people are going to despise you, avoid you, and talk shit behind your back- save it now.

R23 The lawyer isn't giving any signals?

Don't ask friends for money. Get a part-time job or move somewhere that is more affordable.

Where did he say he asked for money?

R26, Please read R1

^ And please read R5

In my experience, people who ask for money rarely pay it back.

I didn't ask for money. I asked for help emotionally.

Power couple are stringing Miss OP along only because they crave her huge member.

Do software engineers and lawyer even make that good of money?

R32 The husband is a family or bankruptcy litigator; I can't remember. The software engineer works from home.

Stay home and masturbate

OP: Pay the lawyer back with interest and thank him again.

Then stay away. Find other interests.

If you’re lucky, they might thaw a bit but don’t count on it. Don’t even think of flirting with the lawyer; his partner picked up on it and you should be ashamed.

Lastly, no one wants to go to your pity party. All you have to offer it seems is whiny shit about feeling left out all the time.

OP is the same dumb fuck who keeps trying to create content with posts that read like Wikipedia. Apparently this cuckoo has decided to shit all over Dl..

Are we being tolled brilliantly?

Mess!

next time you see them hand them some baby wipes and ask them to help you be rid of your stubborn dingleberries. The intimacy will chart a new course for your friendship.

Your neighbors have been too kind to you, but I've s strong feeling you are about to change all of that with a suddenness that will put the "harshness" than the comment about liking to run alone into perspective.

For a second I thought we had a new troll, but astrological signs weren't mentioned.

R41 Those are my old neighbors. I moved. The lawyer is an Aries, the software engineer an Aquarius. I'm a Cancer.

And OP’s sign is Lunaticus.

Join a cult.

Why is the lawyer nice if the software engineer isn't?

Never trust lawyers.

0/10

Get a dog, OP.

JFC.

Oh, and once you get the dog, please consider naming the dog ‘Clue’.

[quote]He is just so well read, kind, and classic old money. The software engineer is cold and aloof.

Of course he is. He see that you are trying to steal his boyfriend.

OP, you in danger, gurl.

I say you should have a torrid romance with the lawyer, but have lots of conversations with him where you insincerely say that you’d never want to hurt the software engineer, is what we’re doing wrong, but why does it feel so right?

That’ll teach him to keep his snippy little “he likes to run alone” comments to himself.

Op, can't you meet a straight man who is gay curious? According to DL the world is full of them.

There are plenty of available mens at gay AA meetings, OP. Drink up.

FFS. I know OP is probably trolling, but how is it not possible to understand that accepting money from neighbours due to one’s sob story is major boundary-crossing and might create conflict within the partners’ relationship and with your relationship as a whole? (was it a gift? a loan? when will it be paid back? what are the terms? money/gifts = OBLIGATION/reciprocity, which is INTIMATE) I’m on the goddamned “spectrum” and even I fucking know that! Jesus fucking Christ!

R53 He probably sucked lawyer's dick in return.

You asked for emotional help but say you didn't get offered cash, just some bills paid. If emotional help is what you were seeking why would you say he wouldn't give you cash?

OP, I've been thinking about your predicament all day and I think the answer can be found in the television drama "The Day My Kid Went Punk… What do you do when your bright, loveable, talented kid turns into a punker overnight?”

It's an ABC Afterschool Special that first aired Oct. 23, 1987.

Please report back after watching it.

R11 and R14 nailed it.

[quote] I'm a Cancer.

The software engineer already clocked that you could become a big ass tumor, for sure.

Real friends would be willing to help, obviously these aren't "friends" with having.

Go to a happy hour. They are just two little people in a big ol'world. Forget them.

You do you .

THIS. NEVER. HAPPENED.

No one wants a needy, whiner as a friend, OP. Especially one who is always fishing for 💰.

And if you think you have a chance with the lawyer, bitch please! If he wanted to take on losers, he would work Pro Bono only.

Dredge up some self-respect, OP. Pay back the money they loaned you asap and peace out of their lives. Go to therapy and work on your self-esteem. Grow up, brother.

OMG the amount of people attacking this guy over sixty dollars is insane. Like you bitches never needed help in your lives. it's like he asked them for six thousand. Give. me. a. break (not OP).

why on earth would you want to be friends with anybody in the same building complex? that is messy from the START!

OP, don’t let these jealous bitches in here bring you down!

As mentioned they are a lawyer and a software engineer, which means they are loaded and have lots of disposable income. Ask for more money! If they say no, bring up how privileged they are. If they are truly your friends, they will give you money no questions asked.

I also suggest therapy! That software engineer friend clearly needs it. He crossed a boundary when he told you the lawyer likes to run alone. He’s clearly a very controlling person. You should bring this up to both of them after you ask them for more money. After you start running with the lawyer friend, maybe you can suggest the engineer also take up running to lose some extra weight, but the tell him you and the lawyer like to run alone…together…without him.

I also get a hint the lawyer guys might be secretly falling in love with you but since lawyers are shy introverts, he might need a little push expressing his affections. I suggest writing him a note expressing your feelings for him. Life is too short! Live a little. ❤️

R63 - I don’t care if it’s $60 or $6000 - you don’t ask neighbors and friends to pay your bills. Because the second you ask someone to pay your $60 bill, they will likely wonder if you will next ask them to pay your $600 bill, then $6000 etc. It creates tension and resentment and weird feelings.

People (understandably) get desperate when they need money and in my experience, if they are willing to cross a boundary like that to ask for $60, they will often cross that boundary again and again when they need more money.

If people offer to pay your bills or give you money, that’s a different situation (and comes with its own issues).

I don’t believe any of this actually happened though.

On the off-chance this is true, OP has serious issues. I'd recommend therapy, but sufferers of personality disorders like BPD are notoriously difficult to help.

Where the hell do you get bpd from [r67]. Don’t be a simplistic moron.

You’re hilarious [r65]

Won't someone please SHIT IN MY MOUTH??!??!???!???

Some of you are super mean. I am not trying to steal the lawyer away. What is the point?

Lawyers don't even make that much money.

[quote] Lawyers don't even make that much money.

She HAS to be trolling us

R71 compared to the hours they work, their student loan debts, and their overhead, the average lawyer salary is like $75,000.

Bobby...

Bobby...

Bobby baby...

Bobby bubbi...

Robby...

Robert darling...

Bobby, we've been trying to call you.

Yes she’s trolling us but OP please keep us informed.

[quote]Lawyers don't even make that much money.

[quote]compared to the hours they work, their student loan debts, and their overhead, the average lawyer salary is like $75,000.

So if your friend doesn't make that much money and has onerous debts and expenses, why are you hitting him and his partner up for money?

FFS, I [italic]hope[/italic] this is an EST, and there really isn't an entitled queen like this running around taking up oxygen.

The constant mention of astrological hoodoo is a mental illness red flag.

The lawyer comes from a wealthy southern family, like Bette Davis in Hush...Hush, Sweet Charlotte.

The software engineer is Nepali, but grew up in India. His dad is a diplomat for the Indian government. He looks Asian.

They both have family money.

Get in contact with that man whore over on some other thread who plans on giving celibacy a go. He's packing 8.5" apparently.

Do you think that the celibacy guy is willing to pay OP's bills R78?

These two sound like typical gay guys, only think of themselves, not willing to lift a finger to help the less fortunate.

You sound very needy, OP. I'm sure the two friends sense that. That is never good. Take some of the good advice on this thread. Engage yourself in something outside of your head....and the obsession you seem to have in these people.

Don't risk wrecking their happiness. In the long run, doing this will make you even more unhappy than you are now. Everyone struggles with money or should. You are being their problem. Leave them alone for a while, then visit only twice a week. Sounds like you have feelings brewing for the lawyer. Don't be a homewrecker. Most people are lonely, y'know. Do what they do. Seek out crowds and new pals. The engineer KNOWS you want his man, so OF COURSE he's cold to you! He knows you better than you do, clearly. You are taking advantage of their kindness. So, my advice is to stop.

I think the lawyer is flirting with me too. He is just at fault if so.

Do you think he is flirting or just being friendly? Maybe just his wealthy southern upbringing.

He might be flirty like Scarlet O' Hara.

Have you considered becoming very wealthy?

Tomorrow is another day.

You sound like a total mess, but at the same time I don't you are crazy, so I believe you when you say the lawyer is also flirting with you. That means their couple is not that secure.

First and foremost, get your shit together and develop a better private and professional life. You're not ready for a proper relationship.

and jealousy is horrible because you feel miserable and want other people to feel just like you by ruining their happiness. all in all don't do anything to them and start a new life.

Last night I stopped by their apartment to drop off a book I borrowed. Only the lawyer was home.

The lawyer had classical music playing, was preparing a charcuterie board, and had wine breathing. I was going to be brief, but we ended up talking about my work and I got carried away. The software engineer came home while I was talking and I think I ruined the romantic surprise.

R19 My class? What are you talking about?

Buy a mirror and a dildo...learn to please yourself first.

Then what, R89/OP? After the software engineer arrived home, did you politely excuse yourself, or did you continue to hang around until they reluctantly invited you to stay?

R92 I talked to them both for a bit and left maybe 10-15 minutes later.

OP, your future depends on hot you are. Attach pics to give us a better assessment.

OP - Who do you want to play the role of you in the true crime series based on the (very soon to happen) murder of the software engineer?

R95 why would I kill him?

Goodness, wait around long enough, many threads do become SO interesting.

Should I avoid them?

I say this only because I thought it might interest people, not to oh dear the OP, but...

The phrase isn't "third wheel". It's "fifth wheel" - like the spare tire in your car, if you get me.

Are you secretly holding onto the hope the lawyer will leave the software engineer for you, OP? What is the endgame here?

Is it John at OP?

Pate anyone?

[quote]R7 The lawyer is a runner. He runs like 3 miles everyday. I made a comment to the software engineer about running with him and he said "he likes to run alone to clear his head." Kind of harsh.

You can always run behind him each day. Just keep out of sight.

Try it!

I went over for wine the other day. I said something about a fancy things growing up and the lawyer said

"we just have two completely different lifestyles. I grew up with country clubs and debutantes, you did not. You would not really understand unless you grew up in it."

Kind of hurt my feelings. The software engineer smiled.

You need to find regular gay guys to hang out with, not A-gays Op nothing good will come of it.

R105 A-gays?

They are weird. They only watch literary adaptations of films. They love Merchant Ivory type of movies. The own a ton of books and buy the restored Blu Ray of the films. They are kind of boring, but they lawyer basically said he was richer and more sophisticated than me.

R105 How are they A-gays?

When you get older, you won't even give a damn.

So why do you keep hanging around them?

What exactly is your motive?

There are different types of A-gays R105, these two sound like the rich and artsy variety.

Why are we still responding to this pathetic thread?

R19 Do you think your petty, mean-spirited snobbery is helpful?

A-gays? Is this like a revamped version of the A-Team ?

R110 I'm not sure. They have season tickets to the symphony, opera, ballet, NFL, MLB, and USSF. They travel to cool places two to three times a year. They own a BMW and a Lexis. I know the lawyer inherited a lot of money and they make a lot of money.

The OP's seeming lack of self-awareness and his willingness to continually intrude and break boundaries is some of the most cringeworthy shit I've heard in a long time. Stop obsessing over the lives of others OP, and spend that time and energy improving yourself, and building one of your own.

If anything, use it as inspiration, but avoid the Eve Harrington route. It didn't end well for her. Not well-read? Read. Take a class. Not in good shape? Make those changes. Create a life you want to be a part of, and stop bothering those who had the forethought to do all of those things a long time ago.

...Or you could just continue behave this way, if just for the sheer delight of DL. That's also an option. But not one I would take.

Join the Navy. You'll make lots of friends and never be lonely.

[quote] "Or you could just continue behave this way"

Oh, dear.

*...continue TO behave this way

R115 Ass. They are really my only friends.

Hmmm… this poster seems familiar, but also claimed to be a frau in one of its many other past incarnations.

See also…

Apparently, also the OP of this thread…

You’re actually a 15-year-old girl, aren’t you, OP? No one else could be this delusional.

R119 / R120 / R121 Thanks. You've definitely discovered a pattern.

Sorry, OP, but it was fun for 100 posts.

Y'all are crazy

I am serious about the thread! Honest to God!

R119-121 posted first! I remember very well the surgeon and the Asian boyfriend. Was going to post the same links. What a weird, recurring EST story. It must be based on some fantasy couple OP created in his head.

I am not making this story up!

This weekend, they went to their house in the North Carolina mountains to escape the Texas heat. I'm super jealous. The house is small but has been in the lawyer's family for like 80 to 100 years.

You must make your feelings clear. Be curled up in their bed when they return.

R128 why would I do that? They would not appreciate it.

You are ill, op. Ill.

R130 No I am not. You guys are making a mountain out of a molehill

If you have financial problems and you’re living next to a lawyer and software engineer, you need to move.

R132 Why? Those professions don't make that much money.

You should defecate on their doorstep OP. Better yet, break in and defecate all over their carpet. And in their bed.

OP keep at it. Wear something low cut and enticing perfumes. Surely you have any man you want if you just set your mind to it. Maybe find a way to have Lawyer stay over? Hide is phone. Then when Software Guy comes looking,, answer the door in a shorty kimono and say his partner is not there. That should at least shake things up a bit.

This is obviously an EST I can't believe it went on for so long. Probably the nasty neighbors troll going in a new direction.

I new immediately it was an EST - all his weird fake naiveté.

I am not fake or being naive.

Have you tried dropping off Christmas cookies, unannounced?

OP’s story gave me Andrew Cunanan vibes (with his neighbors in the role of Jeffrey Trail and David Madson).

R140 not true! The two of them have been together since they were in grad and law school. They are not going to be broken up.

[Quote]They are not going to be broken up.

Not without a fight, OP!

Everyone is talking about the software engineer, but the lawyer is actually the more difficult one. The engineer is generally more easy going and submissive to whatever the lawyer wants.

I’ve heard him on the phone with internet companies and stuff when things aren’t working. He gets them there Sam day and his bill reduced. It’s crazy, but he’s scary AF. All manners out the window.

O, God - OP's back, flogging his story.

You ARE the nasty neighbors troll aren't you? Why don't you write another of them?

R144 what are you talking about?

I'm confused, OP. What exactly do you want from them? And from us?

R146 I guess I’m jealous of their relationship and sophisticated old money lifestyle.

I’ve also just been lonely and need someone to talk to about the situation

[quote]I’ve also just been lonely

I thought you had a job at the gift store in your local hospital - didn't you make friends there?

R148 no?

I don't know how to stop thinking about them.

Nothing?

Stay away from them, OP. I think the issue is that you think they're better than you. Maybe they appear to be, but believe me, their shit stinks just like yours. Stop visiting them. Don't accept any invites from them. Find a new friendship circle, and in time you'll look back and wonder why in the hell you let this couple get into your head. I believe in you, OP. You just need to believe in yourself.

R152 I believe in myself, it is just they are richer, more educated, skinnier, and more sophisticated. They can spend Saturday nights sipping Bordeaux and watching a French film without the subtitles then attend a football game on Sunday morning...

I'm barely scrapping to get by.

I think the French call football soccer OP. At any rate, it's clear that the only solution is to make sure your insurance is up-to-date and then burn down their apartment while they sleep. Old money burns the brightest!

I'm sure glad my neighbors/friends are all financially stable and not the jealous, needy types.

R154 They are my only friends right now.

R155 I'm not needy or financially unstable

OP, you refuse to better your own situation. I don't want to hear from you again until after you've snapped and murdered them.

[quote]I think the French call football soccer OP.

you think wrong

They call it fagball.

I'm not delusional! I know the lawyer will not leave the software engineer for me. I am too overweight for him. He has made comments about weight and expects people to be skinny AF.

What is anyone feeding this goddamned troll?

[...]

R162 We are all late 20's.

[...]

R164 I don't?

Fat AND lonely? No wonder the white one doesn't want you! Focus your energy into becoming someone fuckable OP, you're still young enough to turn it around.

OP is a whiner. The worst kind of gay. And he works at a gift shop? OMFG 🤣🤮

R167 I do not work at a gift shop...

R166 He wants me as a friend. I am not trying to steal him either!!!1

OP, a previous comment said you worked at a hospital gift shop or some shitty place like that. So, again, OMFG! 🤮

[quote] We are all late 20's

Aren't we all!

Hire a rentboy. Get your ticket punched.

You'll feel better.

Focusing on them makes you miserable.

They are a nice couple though. The software engineer cooks really good authentic Indian food. The lawyer knows good wine and the best classical music recordings. Going over to their place for dinner is very classy- we discuss current events, literature, philopshy, religion, music, traveling, science, etc.

Very rare to have that without it getting emotional nowadays.

When's the last time you got laid, OP?

OP, have you paid back the money yet? You must pay it back, and pronto. You are demeaning yourself until you do. In an envelope with a light thank-you note or card, so they/he can't pretend to not want it. Hand it over with a small gift--ice cream, wine, flowers.

And then, STAY AWAY FROM THEM, aside from greetings passing in the hall or lobby. FIND OTHER THINGS TO DO, FOR GOD'S SAKE.

R174 Sicily, 1912.

R175 Yes, I gave them back the $60 and I got a what I thought was a decent bottle of wine. Turns out they had the same bottle and brand as their cooking wine. The lawyer was extremely gracious and opened it for us to drink that night with dinner.

[quote]Sicily, 1912

LOL!

I would have guessed somewhere in Africa.

Good man, OP! Now for the love'a Mike, find some other interests and get busy being fascinated with those interests. You may not believe me now, but a point will come when these two clowns seem rather dull to you.

Let me add, that the toxic dynamic you have going with these clowns is not ALL on you, OP. If they indeed keep inviting you over . . they are getting something out of it. They are feeding on some kind of payoff, conscious or unconscious. And not in a healthy or nice way. The sooner you break the chain, the better for you.

R178 why are they clowns and why are they dull? What kind of bad payoff are they getting off me?

Well . . . If you're accurate that they keep inviting you over . . . Why is that? Do you honestly think your hangdog, nose-pressed-to-the-glass aura has escaped them? And the one doesn't even like you? What are they getting out of having you around as a hanger-on? All the passive-aggressive little reminders of your inferior status? A truly "gracious" person would not have let you know that wine was their cooking wine. They're deriving something from the relative footing you are on, and it's not a nice something.

R181 No, he did not say it was the cooking wine. I saw it out by the stove and the software engineer was using it to cook with. The bottle was probably worth $10 or so. It is a good wine that I like and thought they would enjoy it too. I think they drink more $18-20 bottles.

I remember this troll from another thread where he was flirting with a new male neighbour and pretending to not know why their partner was pissed at them. Only, in that thread it was a hetero couple.

Get new material!

R183 no???

Was the wine served with ice cubes?

R185 The wine was from somewhere they visited this summer.

[quote]The lawyer was extremely gracious and opened it for us to drink that night with dinner.

Maybe he wanted to get you drunk to take advantage of you.

OP, they're laughing at you. You're the butt of all their jokes. I know, because I used to be a bitchy gay. You've put these neighbours on a pedestal. Stop accepting their invites. Join meetup and find people with similar interests.

I don't know why I'm typing this, you won't take any of our quality advice gleaned from years of lived experiences with guys like this.

R188 why are they laughing at me? We are friends.

[quote]sophisticated old money lifestyle

[quote]software engineer

Such obvious trolling.

R190. No, you're a troll

The lawyer taught me so much about literature, classical music, opera, ballet, paintings, politics, wine, traveling, the planets even. I never knew how little I knew about things.

Now return the favor and teach him something about sex OP

R193 Why? So tonight I caught the lawyer in the hall and asked if they wanted to come to my place tomorrow for a pizza and movie night. The lawyer said he would see but they are having a little disagreement, he then quickly said "I shouldn't have said that."

This is the most dragged out Penthouse letter, Jesus.

[Quote]So tonight I caught the lawyer in the hall and asked if they wanted to come to my place tomorrow for a pizza and movie night.

I hope you'll be screening Dude, Where's My Car? for them.

[quote]The lawyer taught me so much about literature, classical music, opera, ballet, paintings, politics, wine, traveling, the planets even. I never knew how little I knew about things.

And just like that, our own Eliza DLittle is born.

Update- the software engineer went out of town for work this weekend. I invited the lawyer over for a pizza and movie night, no strings.

He came over and brought a really nice bottle of wine. It was good. I ordered a large pizza from a good place. He only ate one piece, so I don't think he liked it. He told me to pick out any movie and we watched Scary Movie IV. He did not think it was funny at all. I did.

What a faux pas on your part, OP! Has the lawyer even seen Scary Movie 1, 2 and 3? Did you laugh out loud at your favourite scenes? Perhaps your giggling distracted him from the plot.

R199 He said he saw the first one or two in high school and enjoyed them then.

I take it nothing happened between you two after the movie had screened? You need to go pound on his door right now and then forcefully fuck him. He is far too reserved and proper to make the first move, he's relying on your rough manners, OP.

I feel so terrible for the lawyer for having to resort to associating with the poor, uneducated, provincial, fat, SAD OP. To spend time with a person who knows nothing of the finer things in life, or even the medium things in life, and for everything to be a lesson sounds exhausting. At least the lawyer has the software engineer to join in the derision of this slovenly, mouth-breathing embarrassment that insists himself upon their company. I'd say a pox on you OP but we both know that you'll never get physically close enough to another person for that to be a concern.

Let's backtrack - OP, you said the lawyer only ate one slice of the pizza. Did you eat the rest? In front of him?

R202 you are rude. Do you want lawyers number or something? lol

R203 I had three slices and some ice cream. He had one or one and half slices

Clearly, OP, the lawyer is into you. You may not get many more chances if the software engineer catches on. Quick - undress and then put an apron on. Go next door and ask the lawyer for a cup of sugar. Be brazen!

And I bet it was store-brand ice cream. You know that's not the kind he'd like! You're not even trying.

We know what's on the OPs IPod

Wow. Okay. If the opportunity arose, I would date him. However I know he is in love with the software engineer and the software engineer is in love with him back.

They both kind of have a superiority complex tbh.

Maybe it's you with a inferiority complex tbh.

Then put him under you OP/R208

He did send me a text thanking me for the pizza and hosting him last night. He also got to meet my roommate, who is a quirky guy.

It will utterly destroy you if they end up a couple.

Put the roommate’s things out on the street. NOW.

R212 What are you talking about?

My roommate is a nerdy accountant.

The neighbors are a lawyer and a software engineer.

I love the sprinkling of the new characters, OP. Please don't make the mistake of introducing pets or children.

What does OP do for a living?

R216 I'm just working part time right now. My full time job got downsized.

Doing what?

I think you should go to the couple in a short French maid’s uniform and say you want to repay them for all the dinners by serving around the house.

It could open up interesting possibilities, building on existing dynamics.

(If this is real), I have a pretty good idea about what's going on here. The lawyer is using OP and his very evident idolising and attraction to him as a power play to one-up his partner. You're being played, OP. You're the lawyer's fanboy.

This is the longest running EST we’ve had here on Dl. Well done OP for writing yourself as a clueless third wheel who questions every comment you collect to keep the serial going. The constant misunderstanding of comments leading to asking for clarification, posting new titbits to prime the audience and bump the post, the ongoing posts by naive DL readers who believe this shit.

A masterclass in EST serialisation if there ever was one.

Some of us were not invESTed as much as others, but this is a good example where the comments were better than the post.

OP works part-time in some shitty retail store/gift shop/whatever. So, basically, a non-job, a non-career! Why would his "quirky" roommate want to live with him? OP is totally unappealing.

R221 Wow that is rude.

Y'all hate me

You sound like you might be a bubbling serial killer.

OP, how can you afford to live in the same building as a lawyer and a software engineer?

R227 I can't. I have a roommate and it is still hard

OP, It’s intriguing that the lawyer welcomes your company even though you both come from different worlds. I know you’re the same age as he, but in terms of experience, the lawyer is your mentor. Perhaps he enjoys that role because the excitement and wonder in your eyes takes him back to a more innocent time in his life — a time when a man HE looked up to taught him the ways of the world. The next time you are alone with him, consider letting him know that you are willing for him to teach. Be vocal whenever you learn something new! Broaden your horizons.

What happened to this guy's neighbours? I think they were German. The husband was hot and making passes at the OP, but the wife was hostile.

Are they in your crawlspace, OP?

R230 what? No they weren't. That was my old place.

I'm a little upset. I haven't talked to them in over a week.

The software engineer told me that if I am unhappy with my life, to stop complaining and take action. He said I was the only one that could change my life, not them. He said it in a really harsh way. And it hurt when his lawyer husband agreed.

Well, listen to him and take action. With his husband, the lawyer.

Join a night class - there might be free ones run through your library - or get some kind of hobby which has a club which meets up. You shouldn't be relying on your neighbours and if you are asking them for money, I'm pretty sure they won't be friendly at all much longer.

R234 I was NOT asking them for money!

OP, you’ve shared some very specific details about this couple, so another thing to consider is that someone here recognized who they are and informed them about this thread. Although they haven’t confronted you about this, I’d tread carefully if I were you.

R236 I don't think so.

OP, you’ve shared your neighbors’ professions, hobbies, ethnicities, family backgrounds, movie preferences, and even their astrological signs, for god's sake. The only thing you left out were their first and last names and blood types. I hope you changed some of the details to protect their anonymity.

R238 you don't know which city I'm in or anything

OP: “You don’t know me!”

OP, have you suggested a threesome? Reading between the lines, I think the lawyer, at least, is hinting he'd be up for one.

Houston, if memory serves…

R242 - can you link the related thread?

OP, Whatever happened with German Virgo lawyer and Hispanic Pisces contractor? Do you constantly move from couple to couple, like a serial stalker?

R243- the thread linked below sounds exactly like the OP, down to the “slam” about the other couple only liking to watch adaptations of literary classics, or something along those lines.

Yes we know, R245.

OP killed that couple and made a suit from their skins.

I went over last night for a dinner and a movie. We watched the film Denial with Rachel Weisz. They thought it was great, I thought it was boring.

We talked about our favorite scripted TV shows. The lawyer said Frasier, The West Wing, The Office, Murder She Wrote, The Crown, and Law & Order were always intelligent and well put together. The engineer watches whatever the lawyer does.

I said Downton Abbey was my fav and they laughed at me. Said it was inaccurate. They turned it off the instant the Lord shook hands with the help.

They said it was overacted too.

Why the fuck are you still socialising with them, OP? We've told you - make new friends. These people sound like pretentious dickbags.

R249 how are they pretentious? They are just old money.

OP, mouthwash and less cologne.

It won't get you a life, you sad thing, but it will make things easier for the nice, pitying couple that is being attacked in an anonymous web site just because you're pathetic.

OP - seek mental help. Immediately.

They have shown me classic films. See attached link

OP, I hope you're returning the favour and allowing them access to your personal movie collection. I'm sure they're looking forward to watching the Scary Movie saga.

Update- They got into a big fight last night.

Tell use more, r255. Was it over you?

R256 I could hear it through the walls, but something about the software engineer being noncommittal and never making a decision. He said the lawyer is a control freak and too anal to let anything be even just a little out of order.

OP, Don’t assume too quickly. Could it be you misheard their conversation? The acoustics of drywall or other building material can severely muffle and distort voices. I’d suggest getting close to one of the ceiling vents so you can hear better, and if it’s of suitable dimensions, go ahead and pry the grate off, shimmy into the crawlspace, and find a spot where you can monitor their conversations and activities with crystal clarity.

That's unfortunate, OP.

You seem to be sensitive the needs of others, you can put your needs as a priority, fuck them and find people who deserve your company.

R259 Yeah. They are back together. I think they just had a rough night and had to fight.

This whole thread is complete and total bullshit. Props for making it to 260 replies though.

Shut up R261. We care about OP and want to see his hot neighbor finally admit his feelings.

I recall a similar love triangle between my own neighbors around a decade ago. They were a couple in their 20s: an American attending law school and his partner, a student from the Philippines studying engineering in the states. The “third wheel” was an insecure, struggling actor/barista, also in his 20s, who had a similar upbringing as the American, and they became good friends to the chagrin of the Filipino, who simmered over the interloper butting into their affairs.

As luck would have it, the couple started experimenting with some extreme kink and were looking for a third participant, so the Filipino quickly warmed up to the actor who became an extra participant in their… scenarios. Unfortunately, some serious drama must have gone down because one day the actor mysteriously broke his lease without notice and moved out, never to be seen or heard from again, even abandoning his poor dog (a rescue, ironically.) It was a very eerie and disturbing experience for me as a concerned neighbor.

R263 What happened to the dog?

R263 When the dog (a small terrier mix) was discovered in the otherwise vacant apartment, the Filipino took custody of it and found an adoptive family for her amazingly fast, considering the short time he’d been acclimating to the states. He was a grouch, but at the same time also very intelligent and resourceful!

R265 got you! glad the dog is okay. Is the actor on social media? Are the couple still together?

As I mentioned, the actor was never seen or heard from again. He was a struggling musical theater performer, not famous, who mainly worked as a singing barista at some quirky coffee shop, if I remember correctly. He also did some dinner theater in the past, so it’s possible he had international connections from his cruise ship gigs and, being sick of the states, started a new life in a foreign country or island territory. I don’t know what became of the other two because I myself moved out shortly thereafter due to my landlord’s lack of response to issues I started having in my residence around the same time that the actor left. I wasn’t close to my neighbors, and don’t follow them on social media.

He’s buried in the garden.

I don't understand how they are back together after the things they said to each other.

The lawyer said the software engineer never makes decisions and is too indecisive. That no one will put up with him.

The software engineer said the lawyer was a control freak and is too high maintenance for anyone else to live with.

While the lawyer adores highbrow culture, for instance a minuet, the Ballets Russes, or crepes suzette, the engineer (at least metaphorically) loves to “rock and roll.” If a hot dog makes him lose control, they must have a strained relationship. OP, how do you compare — are you more of a hot dog guy or a crepes suzette guy?

R270 the engineer likes whatever the lawyer gives him. The software engineer is very particular about his food.

None. Of. This. Ever. Happened.

0/10

R272 it did happen! I promise!

This is my favourite part:

[quote]Lawyers don't even make that much money.

From someone who can't even pay a $60 bill.

R274 I don't need your sass! They invited me over for a pizza and film night this weekend. What should I bring?

Condoms!

Wow. They broke up. The software engineer moved his stuff out over the weekend. What should I do now?

"I do not think the software engineer likes me either"

Is your puny cocklet to blame?

R7

Could be true. And/or they don't want to see that much of you. Needy people can be exhausting. Can you find a clinic that offers free or low-cost therapy? People who ask for money after a short friendship can be viewed as potential burdens. It sounds like your request for financial help changed the tone of the relationship.

R4

I don't know that I'd call him a "whiner." He does sound needy. That's a turn-off for many people, especially if they don't know you that well.

R71

Not all lawyers make huge salaries and they often have student loans.

R270

Now that you’re no longer a third wheel, will you stop posting this EST?

Last weekend I went over the the lawyer's apartment and suggested we watch a comedy movie to help him get his mind off of the breakup.

He did not enjoy Stepbrothers at all.

R282 The identical “cousins” premise always disturbed me. What skeletons were lurking in that townhouse of Brooklyn Heights?

R285 what are you talking about?

What should I do?

R286

The Patty Duke Show, which featured Patty Duke playing two identical but very different cousins. I don't recall how it came up and I did not understand R285's comment. It was a primetime G-rated family sitcome.

R287

sitcom

sitcum

Have you fucked the lawyer yet, OP?

OP. What. Is. Your. Job.

Elaborate Scenario Troll

R292 I am not elaborating anything. To cheer him up, I hosted a small dinner party with some of my "fancy gay" friends. It was a mistake.

They were very flamboyant and trying to impress him. They kept talking about their clothing brands, luxury cars, etc. They were all over him when he made a comment about spending an entire summer at a European summer camp as a child. Then they tried to impress them. At one point, he corrected a guy on how you properly hold a wine glass.

Following up. The lawyer got a Bumble and is going out with a surgeon tonight. Good for him.

Sad for me. I have been on Bumble for years and hardly get dates.