If You Were Preparing an Anthology of Classic Datalounge Threads Through the Years, What Would You Select?

The troll who pretended he had a friend that was some midwestern bumpkin gayling lost in NYC.

R1 Can you link to it, or is it long gone?

Oh I remember that one R1. He had a suitcase with him.

I loved the thread "What celebrities are thinking right now"... but I can't find it anymore. It was hilarious.

Also the "Cunts in the workplace" and "Sows at the trough" threads. Hilarious.

Top of the list, always, is Let’s Roll Cinnamon Rolls.

The neighbor Joel stories, complete with cameo appearances by Mitzi.

Here is "Sows at the Trough" in all its glory

The original Let’s Be a lesbian Thanksgiving was absolutely the best and I hadn’t laughed that hard in years.

“Blobfish Piss Me Off” from 2017 is a classic in an absurd way. I can’t link but Google it for yourself.

Celebrity Scents (or was it Fragrances?)

Weird Neighbors Down the Street

If "Brokeback Mountain" Were Directed by Another Director

Hello Ben, It's Me Matt

I don't remember the name of it, but the one by poster Judy "Pills" Garland in which she threatened to drive from NY to Philly for some reason in a drunken stupor.

Autumn Harvest and Once Around the Garden has to be included.

I fondly recall the many threads that followed the David Petraeus cheating scandal-- of course, those threads are ephemeral, but breaking political scandal threads (the real scandals, not the fan-fic) are not to be missed as they're happening.

All of the Kevin Sessums threads...but mainly for DoomLA's comments

NOTHING beats Dialing the Phone with a Pencil - hands down the BEST DL thread of all time.

Sows at the Trough is a true classic.

My New Neighbor Is a Gargoyle should also be in any anthology.

Side note:

It's too bad DL doesn't have a "pinned" threads that are closed, but remain at the top of either the main board or Watched lists so that we don't ever lose our collective history of the classics.

The MichFest threads, obviously.

"Not Without my Daughter" with the fat daughter accused of stealing a can of frosting.

The original "Draining spaghetti is so middle-class"

Lesbian Potluck Wedding Reception

Sumerian Housewives

Jackie on Assistance

[quote] Sumerian Housewives

Farmwives!

The 'Let's Make a Jennifer Aniston Movie' is another all-time classic, though it is still occasionally active..

Is there a server where the full history of DL is preserved?

The Aaron Rodgers/Kevin Lanflisi threads

[quote]Is there a server where the full history of DL is preserved?

It holds a special place in the collections of the Library of Congress.

Let's Be A Brooklyn Pizza Parlor circa 1990 was both hilarious and touching

r21 It should! It's a gay repository.

Things Mug-Cradlers Say

What Did You Do as a Young Gayling That Gave It Away? (Paraphrasing)

Both had me in tears of laughter.

Dialing the Phone with a Pencil had me laughing so hard my stomach hurt.

The Susie Lee posts in the Theatre Gossip Threads were fabulous, especially when she first came on and left clues as to who her parentage was.

PLease leave links on this thread to any of the above threads that might still be available. I've never see seen the Sows at the Trough thread.

To this day, twenty (?) years later, I occasionally think of a post from Dialing a Phone with a Pencil and laugh. Just yesterday I was doing, "so snug you can pick up a dime." And anytime I see something cutesy or frilly, my brain shouts, "well, innat jus' DARLIN'!!"

Bitches Turn on Your TVs

The great show removal thread of 2007

The (Mis)-adventures of the Shit Brick House Troll

[quote]I fondly recall the many threads that followed the David Petraeus cheating scandal-- of course, those threads are ephemeral, but breaking political scandal threads (the real scandals, not the fan-fic) are not to be missed as they're happening.

The Possum in the Drawer thread was great - especially as the OP kept updating it and adding pictures.

Datalounge gift shop.

Lesbian pool party.

The guy who ordered that huge chocolate cake on the internet and kept talking about eating it.

African Baby Catalogue is really the only correct answer.

The best thread EVAH!

Any link to Dialing the Phone with a Pencil? I'm too late to that party but would love to read it.

The Larry King interviews with friends of the dearly departed

The one where someone was trying to recruit people into some janky Ponzi scheme–type business venture and was asking how far he could stretch a few Subway sandwiches to feed the attendees

MICHFEST! The chick soliciting passengers for her van ride to Fest (Diane? No, I forget her name). The cheese ball under boobs contest. Nutloaf. Tent placement warnings - I'm telling you NOW so I don't have to tell you THEN.

And so many more - it was hours of entertainment and it happened every year! Fabulous.

^ Denise, not Diane

Denise! How could I have forgotten? Thank you R39.

Touched by a Hobo, replete with the obligatory juice box before sending him back to the streets.

Also, the thread about bringing two bags of Doritos to a party and the appropriateness of returning an unopened bag to the convenience store for a full refund.

I missed that one, r42.

I don’t know how I missed it but it sounds fucking hilarious.

Loin of cod with prunes and tomato sauce

Or

Afternoon tea

The Michfest threads were classics. Those crazy lesbians were hilarious with their boundaries and drama. Who can forget Denise with her Rainbow Warrior van or Sarah twirling her vagina cape?

Man on the land! Man on the LAND!!

TY r6 so nice to visit old threads I recently returned to DL after a decade plus hiatus. Used to post here in the ealy 00's I actually saw one of my posts from 2006 in that Sows.. thread

Someone needs to publish these gems in a true anthology format. The title will be "A Gayling's Garden of Pointless Bitchery."

"Let's be a 70s detective show" was gold.

I loved the "Let's be a Lesbian [whatever] threads and the recurring characters in them. Like Dar (?) with her ankle monitor and battered Subaru and drinking problem.

There is one precious ancient DL Michfest thread archived on archive.org. The formatting is messed up but I'm glad we have any remnant at all.

Death At The Oculus

The "Who Gives a Flying Fuck" thread about the WGAFF series of movies airing on TCM.

The original Dianne Warwick thread

I Think My Girlfriend is Possessed by a Demon

I just found the Hobo thread!

I loved the ones about the erotic encounters with Cesar Romero, William Conrad, and Shirley Hemphill.

Dark Lesbians

The scholarly analysis of pop culture obscura: Joan Crawford at the Supermarket, Linda Lavin's multiple version of the Alice theme, the underlying sadness of the television series Family Affair, Margo on Charlie's Angels.

Let's be a Jennifer Aniston movie

[quote]The "Who Gives a Flying Fuck" thread about the WGAFF series of movies airing on TCM.

What is WGAFF?

Jackie on Assistance was pretty fucking funny.

I want an entire collection of the Deidre Hall "Why I won't..." threads

"Law & Order: MICHFEST." Someone had killed womyn by putting cilantro in the nutloaf.

"Famous JonBenets Through History, and Their Accomplishments" (I started that one and you bitches DELIVERED)

"Dog Fucks Baby in the Ass!" went wrong in all the right ways.

I don't remember the name of the thread about the girl with the brokened cheeseburger, but FANK you! Fank you very MUCH!

Three words:

Shitty Little Ann

I think “I’m not running a bed and breakfast here” thread belongs on the list. It was about a guy whose trick wanted to use his one towel and breakfast which was only turkey meatballs.

[quote] The "Who Gives a Flying Fuck" thread about the WGAFF series of movies airing on TCM.

[quote]What is WGAFF?

Who Gives a Flying Fuck

LOL R61.

The Joel/Mitzie threads (when was the last one?) deserve their own volume.

The CORONAVIRUS Anthology would be a standalone set, in fact, it should get a Ken Burn's miniseries, with montages of posts and photos of likely DLers, with voiceovers of queens and fraus, Elder Lez, Poll Troll (and that mopey asshole who bitched every day for months on end about his/her fruitless quest for Lysol) as the horrors ramped up and we all realized we were going through some real shit.

For some reason, the thread about the controversy with the Atlanta rail line being named the Yellow line and how that upset Asian-American residents of the city sticks out in my mind. I think it was 2009.

Also, the live blogging threads of TV events. I remember the hilarious thread(s) mocking the 2010 Winter Olympics Opening Ceremony and how fast and furious the replies were being posted.

[quote]The Michfest threads were classics.

Truly my favorites.

The uncle with the ungrateful niece--an ongoing series.

I like the ones where someone runs in to breathlessly post that some obscure rapper has died.

This lesbian pool party one made me laugh.

What about: I'll never forget arriving in Paris, my first time, sitting at a cozy cafe on the Champs-Elysees, and who should stroll by but Leslie Caron in a fur cape, her scarf blowing in the wind, as the taxi horns played An American in Paris. Unforgettable!

Sorry but Marriage of Bigaro was apocalyptically funny. I read that shit in the office - at one point sliding off my chair in hysterics (MARY!). I turned my boss on to it after she asked what my problem was and then heard her laughing her ass from her office.

We still talk and she still brings that shit up. Truly genius.

I'm letting them use my stuff but only if I get a piece of the fucking action AND a goody bag.

And I'm on the cover.

Lesbian Potluck Wedding Reception.

The thread that started the Duke's Mayonnaise thing. That was pretty funny.

BILL TAYLOR on a Disney cruise ship, raped by Goofy.

My proudest moment on DL:

Let's Be Random Sentences In a Novel About Lindsey Graham

I get a thread expired message when I try to view the crabwalking lesbian thread. :(

Some of the live TV watches were fun: Liza on the Home Shopping Network, Carrie Underwood's Sound of Music, etc.

OMG R77 I remember the crabwalking lesbian thread as a title but I cannot remember the details - please share.

The **OFFICIAL** SUMMER STOCK THEATER MEMORIES thread

Some real gems about summer stock from those who were there...

Our naughty pets' ongoing antics during the course of the thread "pets seated on the far barstool in the joint."

Among the funniest was the saga of two kitty siblings who finally drove their person to post: "Now they're fighting! Where's my spray bottle?!"

I remember that one. That was another pisser.

I loved that SUMMER STOCK thread and contributed some juicy tidbits to it!

And I really couldn't get through a night of the Oscars, Tonys, Golden Globes, etc. without my DL sisters.

R78 , yes they are! I remember Whitney Houston's Funeral thread. It was 100% DL gold.

It took me at least 15 minutes until I realized Genie Francis was not actually there!

As the creator of "Damn, Teresa Giudice Has Some Ugly Kids," I would modestly propose its inclusion in our canon. 😇

The live threads during Trump's press conferences were hilarious.

Red Dragon Cheese

Famous Jon-Benet's throughout history

Some of the initial Helen Lawson threads

Sumerian Farmwives

I remember one about some fat queen who sat on his trick's Bichon-Frise which he spelled Bitchin Frizzy that had me in hysterics at work

[quote]I remember one about some fat queen who sat on his trick's Bichon-Frise which he spelled Bitchin Frizzy that had me in hysterics at work

R87 That had you in hysterics? The spelling of Bitchin Frizzy instead of Bichon-Frise?

R79 : It was an EST made by the poster who created the Denny thread etc. It was about their girlfriend who was claiming that they were possessed and were saying weird shit like "I am Asmodeus!" and crabwalking around the room.

There was probably more but we'll never know now.

The stories about the lesbian named Denise who drove the Rainbow Express van and basically kidnapped people to take them to Michfest.

Why Do Lesbians Have Such Fatasses?

Actual photo from Denise’s Facebook page.

I'd select all the Tasteful Friends threads and publish a coffee table book featuring the properties that were actually tasteful.

A couple more collections from our many threads and comments....

"DISCIPLINE: Keeping Your Children in Line and Respectful of Your Parental Authority" -- Mrs. Patsy Ramsey, formerly of Boulder, Colorado

"100,001 Prune Recipes from My Kitchen to Yours" -- Greg

How about an omnibus Wilkes-Barre Snow Removal Murder/Suicide/JIMMY thread?

“I Told You I Was Hardcore—Confessions of a Prune to a Cod”

“Ass You Like It—Tail(s) from Formaggio Kitchen”

With introduction by Philip

R95,

JIMMMMAAAAAYY!!

R95 My favorite 8 part thread. And maybe that one with the missing blonde twink in France or Spain.

Nana's Cul-de-Sac.