He named each of his ladybugs after an especially satisfying trick, though not the Latino ones.
Let's Be Random Sentences In a Novel About Lindsey Graham
|by Anonymous||reply 338||Last Friday at 1:02 PM|
"God, It's Me- Leslie"
Doublelist was dead that day, so he had Driver drop him off at the park. Meandering listlessly through the woods, he was soon taken from behind brutally by a married redneck trucker he recognized from a few years ago.
Humped and dumped, he disgustedly crumpled to his knees, demanding of the mute log, "Why why why do I do this to myself?!". His sobs could be heard for yards.
|by Anonymous||reply 1||05/11/2021|
There was still, lingering in his consciousness, that horrible night when he awakened to find he had spilled his seed to dreams of Senator McConnell (R-KY).
|by Anonymous||reply 2||05/11/2021|
The fan in the veranda was still broken and the ice tea needed more sugar.
|by Anonymous||reply 3||05/11/2021|
(This thread has the potential to be a DL classic!)
|by Anonymous||reply 4||05/11/2021|
Well fiddle dee dee, whose fist is that in me?
|by Anonymous||reply 5||05/11/2021|
"He stared lustily out of the window at the strapping young African American man mowing his lawn. He wasn't wearing a shirt and sweat pooled around the waist of his tight shorts and ample butt crack, relentlessly pushing the mower from one end of the lawn to the other in the summer heat. Lindsay licked his dry cracked lips and poured himself another Diet Mountain Dew. 'Oh, black lives matter indeed', he huskily whispered to himself, suddenly feeling the urge to go introduce himself to this strapping young buck"
|by Anonymous||reply 6||05/11/2021|
As she widens the long, flabby crack of the obese orange golfer, she pauses a moment to give thanks for the delightfulness of what her tongue is about to partake.
|by Anonymous||reply 7||05/12/2021|
Lindsay made his way to the men's room, drawn by that he did not know. He stood at the trough with his small, shriveled manhood, a thin trickle of piss dribbling out. A man, a blue-collar working man, entered and stood at the end of the trough. He opened his belt and dropped his workpants around his ankles, pulling his shorts down. He looked at Lindsay and started pissing. A think, loud and pungent stream of urine. His penis hardened, rising derrick-like from a thick thatch of public hair. Lindsay swooned at the sight. The smell of the man's piss and crotch became stronger. Lindsay whimpered and knelt, facing the man.
|by Anonymous||reply 8||05/12/2021|
This is some rather entertaining Lady G (not)fanfic
|by Anonymous||reply 9||05/12/2021|
And then I met Lady Chablis in the Garden.
|by Anonymous||reply 10||05/12/2021|
"Fie!" screamed Lindsey.
|by Anonymous||reply 11||05/12/2021|
And the rent boy spit his load on his Tom Ford black suede loafers.
|by Anonymous||reply 12||05/12/2021|
I saw the man of my dreams, the president with this younger wife, who looked like a combination of Vampira and Caitlin Jenner, I imagined the two of them making love, and I could only think to myself, why her, why not me?
|by Anonymous||reply 13||05/12/2021|
"You'll do", Lindsey said matter-of-factly as he slowly circled the strapping young man from Minsk, or Omsk, or wherever he was from. No matter. This had come to be the Senator's favorite part of the interview process. "You'll be provided a uniform, of course. I ALWAYS dress my servants properly." Then, grinning mischievously, his face taking on the circumference of a pumpkin: "I also have several costumes you'll be required to wear on nights when I casually entertain friends. They find it...pleasurable."
|by Anonymous||reply 14||05/12/2021|
He called like a gentleman would. I became giddy. Since he was from the lower chamber, I never thought he would satisfy my criteria for social status. However, he became the House Minority Leader, who has vigorously defended my pumpkin dàddy. I can't overlook that. Two hours later, he rang the bell. My panties were all wet now. I blushingly opened the door gently for the most handsome gentleman, and declared: "Oh Kevin, dear, please do come in!"
|by Anonymous||reply 15||05/12/2021|
"Even before he finished, he swore this would be his last Grinder hook-up."
|by Anonymous||reply 16||05/12/2021|
"Those five bearish proud boys thought they were popping the cherry of my deliçate lady poosie. I did not have the heart to tell them I was not a virgin".
|by Anonymous||reply 17||05/12/2021|
The young suitor would-be congressman slowly opened the bedroom door, a shaft of light slicing through the dank air, illumining a bloated figure that writhed in what he perceived to be either pain or ecstasy - he could not tell - as its shadowed bulbous visage hissed and moaned in an unsettling rhythmic pattern. He knew what had to be done.
|by Anonymous||reply 18||05/12/2021|
Novel or biography?
|by Anonymous||reply 19||05/12/2021|
The fainting couch was moist, with that moistness that a Grande Dame like The Senatrice can bestow on a fine damask fabric only when she witnesses a strapping Orange gentleman hollering about his tremendous, massive erection at the southern border.
|by Anonymous||reply 20||05/12/2021|
r19 Novel (though it has biographical sections!)
|by Anonymous||reply 21||05/12/2021|
"I've never SEEN so many beautiful pages," he thought to himself, as he entered the Senate chamber for his first day, serving the state of South Carolina. Then, before he had time to muse, "I believe I will like it here", someone spat on him from the gallery. He had arrived.
|by Anonymous||reply 22||05/12/2021|
The bouncing tassels hanging from her nipples gave her the distinct impression that, despite her carefully veiled insecurities, her breasts - and they [italic]were[/italic] indeed breasts, she assured herself - were supple and irresistible. She looked at herself in the mirror, subtly alternating between nibbling and sucking on one index finger whilst tugging on and rubbing the frayed strings of one of the tassels between her thumb and the other index finger. She was more than pleased with herself; she was absolutely smitten.
|by Anonymous||reply 23||05/12/2021|
There she was, sitting behind the President, looking all high and mighty as if she were the Belle of the Ball. “Nancy, Nancy, Nancy,” Lindsey thought, unable to stop repeating the name in his head. A wave of anxiety came over him as he recalled the playground chant: “Nancy boy! Nancy boy! Lindsey is our Nancy boy!” He had asked Mother what it meant, but she had said, “Never you mind those boys, Pumpkin. They’re just jealous because you’re so special,” as she rubbed tiger balm on his heaving chest. He closed his eyes and gently smiled. Mama always made him feel IMPORTANT.
|by Anonymous||reply 24||05/12/2021|
Squee, PJ, and Moose, were overwhelmedly amazed when they heard from their friend how aggressively the G lady pursued him.
|by Anonymous||reply 25||05/12/2021|
He put on his straw hat and sat down in his favorite rocking chair on the verandah, fanning himself with a funeral fan. The guest he was entertaining tonight was not on the social register and was not worth much fuss. He calculated the cost of having Cook stay late to provide dinner, but decided to open the freezer and choose a couple of Paula Deen Frozen Suppers. Cook had been a bit sloppy this afternoon by not adding fresh mint to his ice tea and he thought about telling Cook she could have the rest of the week off to tend to her sister who suffered from sugar diabetes.
He inhaled deeply to smell the magnolias and wondered who would play him in a future biopic. Someone had suggested Jim Carrey and he wasn’t sure he liked that idea. Being a member of the Old South was no joking matter and Mr. Carrey seemed a bit too jovial for such a man of gravitas. He made a mental note to call Chumley Wentworth later to confirm he was available for bridge.
|by Anonymous||reply 26||05/12/2021|
The Ranking Member made a mouth of bored impatience. "If you say 'war' just once more, I'll go in the house and shut the door. There hasn't been any fun at any party this spring because the boys talk of nothing else."
She meant what she said, for she could never long endure any conversation of which she was not the chief subject.
|by Anonymous||reply 27||05/12/2021|
“Lindsey Graham was not beautiful, but men seldom realized it when caught by her charm as the Tarleton twins were.
|by Anonymous||reply 28||05/12/2021|
If only a Kurt Cobain style bob was considered suitable for the Senate Chamber he sighed forlornly into the mirror; then I could camouflage this unfortunate goiter of a double chin.
|by Anonymous||reply 29||05/12/2021|
Lindsey set down his Gillette Fusion 5 razor which was now clogged with long gray pubic hairs.
|by Anonymous||reply 30||05/12/2021|
"Come, Nikolai." he called to his servant, whose name was Alek. "I need tending to!" Alec entered the bathroom warily. Six months with the Senator had led him to expect anything. He sighed inwardly as he saw the Senator sitting in the bath, like a mountain of flesh in an ocean of bubbles. Alek began to scrub the Senator's back as he played merrily with the bubbles, shaping them into this imagined thing, or that. "Here," he said to Alek, holding out a handful. "Make a wish."
|by Anonymous||reply 31||05/12/2021|
Lindsey, in her suite at Mar-a-Lago, is feeling rather intoxicated after consuming four vodka martinis at the bar following dinner. Tonight, she just wants to watch herself from an earlier interview with Maria Bartiromo, then hit the sack for some much needed sleep. For once, she wouldn't mind if Donald didn't come knocking asking for a special favor. She mused, "that can wait till mid morning".
|by Anonymous||reply 32||05/12/2021|
Chapter 9: Dating in Europe
"I am very much in love with you, mein liebe Sylvia. Of all the hot Lufthansa stewardesses I've dated in Europe, I swear you are the only one I have proposed marriage to. Will you return with me to the Southland as my betrothed? I would love a spring wedding at Tara, with the Tarlton twins as my attendants and God as my witness."
|by Anonymous||reply 33||05/12/2021|
The coach looked Lindsey up and down with growing dismay. "Pardon my French, son, but aren't you a little too...puny-like to join the wrestling team?" Lindsey puffed out his narrow chest (he would not let this opportunity escape him). "Coach. Someday I'm going to be a man of very big importance; and I need to build character for that. Small of statue as I am, I believe that...wr-wrestling with the boys will be just the thing for someone just like me!" The coach shook his head and thought: This kid must have one disappointed father.
|by Anonymous||reply 34||05/13/2021|
".As she laid her head down for the holiday night of slumber, visions of orange, mushroom-headed cocklets pranced in her dreams."
|by Anonymous||reply 35||05/13/2021|
.As she laid her head down for the holiday night of slumber, visions of orange, mushroom-headed cocklets pranced in her dreams."
Meanwhile, those saucy upstarts Jim Jordan & Matt Gaetz shuffled in to the room, stinking of flop sweat and Big Macs. "Where have YOU two been?", Graham hissed. "Oh, you know where we've been! Honesty, I don't know your knees take it. You've got a good 20 years on us, yet spending on that time on your knees doesn't seem to bother you a bit. What's your secret?" Gaetz asked, wiping orange fluid off his chin. "Practice" Lindsey said. "Lots and lots of practice. You two still have a lot to learn!" And with that, Lindsey readjusted her pink nightie and went back to sleep, dreaming about tomorrow's all you can eat hash brown casserole buffet
|by Anonymous||reply 36||05/13/2021|
We were finally alone in my suite at Mar-a-Lago. Myself and Madison, just what I wanted. I was full of lust. Madison was full of gin and tonic. I made my move. I hoisted myself rather abruptly on to his wheelchair. Unfortunately I was not as dainty as I thought I was. The chair flipped over as I landed on the young teases lap. I separated myself from him and helped him back into his chair. I profusely apologized for my reckless forwardness. and then he said those awful words, "Get away from me you old fag!" I was taken aback, I do not think I am that old.
|by Anonymous||reply 37||05/13/2021|
As he approached the golf cart where the corpulent, wheezing former president sat, Lindsey regretted afresh that spitroasting incident of long ago. An hour of dirty, jizz-soaked glory caught secretly on video had forced him into humiliating service to this bloated, poisonous toad during what should have been his golden (shower) years.
|by Anonymous||reply 38||05/13/2021|
He was filled with indignant rage and tears after Trump removed his miniscule yet throbbing cock from his flatulating ass .
|by Anonymous||reply 39||05/13/2021|
After his ungentlemanly caller had made his hasty exit, it was time to erase the memory of his low-born, sweaty presence. Lindsay selected a fresh blanket from the cedar hope chest and spread it over the bed to wipe away the sin, covering the evidence of spilled seed and faint but musky scent of desperation. He fetched his precious Scarlett O’Hara Madame Alexander original from her hiding place in the closet and restored her to pride of place on his bed.
|by Anonymous||reply 40||05/13/2021|
MOMMA !! I JUST MADE A DOLLAR FROM THAT NICE MAN .
|by Anonymous||reply 41||05/13/2021|
I will “Oh Dear” myself for that errant Lindsay... damn autocorrect.
|by Anonymous||reply 42||05/13/2021|
Trying as hard as she could, the housemaid couldn’t remove all the skid marks and heel stains from the office couch. Instead, she rearranged the garish pillows rather fetchingly.
|by Anonymous||reply 43||05/13/2021|
Lindsay heaved himself up the Grand Staircase, flinging open the French door to the sleeping porch. "I just hate it when MTG wears that Extra Large strap on .As he climbs into the twin bed .
|by Anonymous||reply 44||05/13/2021|
Despite his status as a military veteran, he was exceedingly short in stature and intellect. His body pale, round, doughy and hairless, he was fit for nothing except politics.
|by Anonymous||reply 45||05/13/2021|
Slowly, the corporal did the walkaround of the black SUV, performing the usual mirror inspection of the undercarriage. He raised the gate and then, in a quick trot, ran to the guard house to alert the base commander.
“Colonel, sir, the gentleman from Pickens County has returned!” he barked into the phone.
“What the hell?” Yelled Colonel Karl. “Alert Major Smith over at the fitness center. And, whatever you do, tell Smithy to keep that old queen away from my men in the latrine!”
It was the third time in as many days that the black SUV with its passenger, known by the code name of The Gentleman from Pickens County, had visited one of the eight military installations he fought to keep in his state.
His timing was impeccable. No matter the base, no matter the weather, he somehow arrived on base just at the moment men were finishing up a run or hike and needed to shower.
“‘Cleanliness is next to godliness’, is what Mama would say,” he would pant to his driver as he launched himself out of the SUV. “I am just doing my Christian duty to inspect the showers and latrines. I can only make sure they’re operating correctly while they are in use.”
It didn’t hurt that the people using the showers were fresh recruits at MCAS Beaufort or the seasoned men at Joint Base Charleston. Such fine, strapping young bucks.
Back in Colonel Karl’s office his assistant thought he was going to stroke out.
“What the hell!!!” Colonel Karl repeated. “We have a deal! You tell me when the Gentleman from Pickens County visits you and I tell you when he visits me. You KNOW he makes the rotation every quarter! Affirmative, it’s the shower and plumbing inspection routine again. Negative, I am NOT allowing him to take a trainer from the Welcome Center to dinner again. We had to transfer that officer to Alaska for his own protection. Never again!”
|by Anonymous||reply 46||05/13/2021|
And then he died.
|by Anonymous||reply 47||05/13/2021|
"Eat me! Eat me now! Munch on my sad, wrinkly, saggy scrotum!"
|by Anonymous||reply 48||05/13/2021|
[quote] Miss Graham awoke one morning, after a night of being sexually ravaged by several young men she kept on her payroll, to find that her organes génitaux were so raw that she was unable to raise herself to a standing position and navigate across her chambre to her salle de bains in order to evacuate all the fluide d'amour from the previous evening, and perform her daily douche.
|by Anonymous||reply 49||05/13/2021|
She recalls the many nights spent at the long gone Rumors Bar in Columbia There, one could pick-up anything from Republican State Legislators to street hustlers If you left alone, you were really very sad When the building was demolished, her initials were still carved on the restroom wall. Memories.
|by Anonymous||reply 50||05/13/2021|
^Pardon the missing periods. Erratic smartphone.
|by Anonymous||reply 51||05/13/2021|
You can blame your phone when you miss your period, R51, but no one is going to believe you.
|by Anonymous||reply 52||05/13/2021|
"Oh, Donnie!" giggled Lindsey. "I love kissin' ya, but I don't love getting orange makeup smeared all over mah new dress!"
|by Anonymous||reply 53||05/13/2021|
Trolling for attention, r52 "Oh, Dear"?
|by Anonymous||reply 54||05/13/2021|
Lindsey got down on her knees and prayed to Jesus....Hernandez, her new Mexican handyman. He was certainly handy!
|by Anonymous||reply 55||05/13/2021|
"And THAT is the night the lights went out in Georgia!" exclaimed Lindsey, finishing her rousing speech on Hannity
|by Anonymous||reply 56||05/13/2021|
Lindsey stepped behind the dressing screen and removed her kimono. She daintily draped it over the top of the screen, teasing her latest gentleman caller
|by Anonymous||reply 57||05/13/2021|
"As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again!" declared Lindsey, lustily tearing into a bag of Cheetos. She patted her belly, feeling the spare 30 or so pounds. "I'll just have to start lacing my corset even tighter" she sighed to herself.
|by Anonymous||reply 58||05/13/2021|
And there it was in front of me—long, girthy and as hard as granite. The handsome stranger turned me around and grabbed my hips, whispering in my ear, “You’ll be walking funny for a week.” My heart pounded and I closed my eyes. I exhaled deeply as he slowly entered me; I was now a woman.
|by Anonymous||reply 59||05/13/2021|
"This will drive him WILD!" moaned Lindsey, spraying a heaping helping of Youth Dew on her neck. She eagerly waited for Madison Cawthorn to wheel himself into her boudoir, hoping for a chance to sit in his lap.
|by Anonymous||reply 60||05/13/2021|
Passion on the Golf Course, Chapter 10
Lindsey put her hand on Mr. Trump's knee, slowly moving it north towards the tiny mushroom in his golf shorts. "Oh, baby, I simply can't wait" whispered Lindsey, unzipping the fly and feeling for the corn niblet beneath the generous gunt
|by Anonymous||reply 61||05/13/2021|
He engaged in clandestine homosexual liaisons regularly, however some of his dalliances went poorly because of his tendency to be a bossy bottom.
|by Anonymous||reply 62||05/13/2021|
The G Lady got back in the limo with three other lady political colleagues, and then pulled from under her skirt a gorgeous, expensive hand-painted plate. Marsha exclaimed, "that is a beautiful plate, but why were you hiding it? The G Lady explained, "it is fun and exhilarating to take expensive items from boutiques and other charming stores and not pay". Susan then stated, "I'm concerned, if Al Franken hears about this, he will certainly tell". Dianne responded, "I'm hungry; driver let's get going, our lunch reservations at Leila's Tea Room is at one, right?"
|by Anonymous||reply 63||05/13/2021|
"One day, when I was alone in the senate chambers , I pranced and spun around the room to "My Favorite Things" which I have at least 37 times on my iPhone gym playlist."
|by Anonymous||reply 64||05/13/2021|
Is anyone here good with photoshop?
This book could use some illustrations (hint, hint)
|by Anonymous||reply 65||05/13/2021|
Mee-ma Graham always maintained that he was the ugliest motherfucker of a baby she'd ever seen. Although a religious Baptist (albeit a "kitchen drinker") she often opined that little Lindsay should have been aborted.
|by Anonymous||reply 66||05/13/2021|
Lindsay forced himself to lick the soiled leather boot. Slowly, then more quickly, he got excited. He wanted the boot. He wanted the man in the boot to tell him he was a good boy. This, this is what he was born for. Boot service. And bigotry.
|by Anonymous||reply 67||05/13/2021|
Daddy's here boys! Who wants to open Daddy up and ride his ass?
|by Anonymous||reply 68||05/13/2021|
“His family wasn’t home yet. He wondered if he still had time to drive down to the Piggly Wiggly and get some more Twinkies.”
|by Anonymous||reply 69||05/13/2021|
The bodice ripped.
|by Anonymous||reply 70||05/13/2021|
R69, his family? Did he adopt a Cuban "son" when we weren't looking?
|by Anonymous||reply 71||05/13/2021|
“Lady G has been entertaining the boys since the start of the Second Civil War…”
|by Anonymous||reply 72||05/13/2021|
"Filibuster me!" he demanded of the Senate page as the young man continued his furious thrusting.
|by Anonymous||reply 73||05/13/2021|
"Nestor, if Matt's not meeting your needs, you can always give Aunt Lindsey a call"
|by Anonymous||reply 74||05/13/2021|
"As she festival queen turned the corner, the adoring crowds cheered.". As one brutish proud boy said, "this charmer loves Trump with all heart and supports Making America Great Again. Hannity confirmed it. That's good enough for me".
|by Anonymous||reply 75||05/13/2021|
Lady Lindsey quickly bent down to peek up the Proud Boy's kilt. "Ah do declare!" she giggled to herself, blushing furiously
|by Anonymous||reply 76||05/13/2021|
Chapter 12 - Not Without My Dusting Powder
"Justice Kavanagh, you're makin' me blush!"
|by Anonymous||reply 77||05/13/2021|
As the hustler she ordered online banged on the door, she whispered to herself "Mother, may I sleep with danger?"
|by Anonymous||reply 78||05/13/2021|
She gets home and listened to the Princess answering machine messages from a total of eleven gentleman callers. As she heard the obnoxious and sordid comments that a Paul Rand left, she hastily pushed the delete button and declared, "that asshole.be gone, this lady does have standards. He's getting nothing from me".
|by Anonymous||reply 79||05/13/2021|
The overripe, fetid stench of fallen magnolia flowers blew in through the open bedroom window, causing the young Senatrice to quiver and let out a high pitched moan. She would forever associate this smell of magnolias with rutting like animals in a field.
|by Anonymous||reply 80||05/13/2021|
“What’s in this room?,” the Gentleman Caller asked, peering into the darkness.
Lindsey flicked on the light to reveal row after row of clothing racks from which hung large plastic-covered human-shaped objects. Off to the side, several mannequins posed as if in polite conversation. “Those are my ball gowns,” replied Lindsey wistfully. “I don’t have much call to wear them now that they’ve decided that re-enacting Plantation Soirées is politically incorrect.”
“What about doing them without slaves?,” the young man offered helpfully.
“Where’s the fun in that?,” snapped the Senator. He turned off the light and closed the door. “Mint julep?,” he asked.
“Oh, I’m not 21 yet,” said the young man.
“Oh, hush now,” he said quietly. “Frankie!,” he shouted. “Two mint juleps!”
|by Anonymous||reply 81||05/13/2021|
The bequests of his oldest supporters - covid victims mostly- poured in and the Senator stored them dutifully in outbuildings.
A whole barn was reserved just for the Thomas Kinkade paintings - they’d be bundled up and sold to Trump Ocean Baja. The prettiest barn was reserved for tastefully displayed civil war paraphernalia, Jon McNaughten paintings, and older grand wizard drag. Those visiting the Senator did not leave without writing a check for the souvenir barn.
|by Anonymous||reply 82||05/13/2021|
After the husky Redneck Truckers left his office he got up (with their smell still on his lips) and pranced over to the fainting couch and took a spill... only to be awakened moments later by his young male assistant "Senator hurry or you will be late for your next meeting."
|by Anonymous||reply 83||05/13/2021|
"Ms. Graham," called The Help, through the bedroom door, timidly, for fear of another outburst. "Ms. Graham, he said if you don't come down in five minutes, he'll leave and never come back."
Ms. Graham studied herself in the mirror, the bags under her lids, glistening with Preparation H. The whites of her eyes, like the rims around her favourite glory holes of yore. The curtain-drapes of skin around her neck, like the dangling ball-sacks that slapped her on the chin. Old men's balls, now, sweaty and rotten-tasting - not the pert little nuts that used to gently bounce off her tongue. Candies from heaven. But you're on old bird now, she told herself, sucking in her paunch. You're an old bird, she said again, giving herself a slap across the cheek. A puff of white powder.
"Is everything okay," said The Help, wondering whether to barge in. Ms. Graham had found the vodka again.
"Just bring me the girdle," said Ms. Graham, touching up her rouge. "Just bring me the girdle, and tell Donny I'll be down in a jiffy."
|by Anonymous||reply 84||05/13/2021|
"Oh, Mr. President, I'll do whatever you say. Please, Please, don't release those pictures Mr. Putin has of me getting gangbanged by those Russian leather rentboys"
|by Anonymous||reply 85||05/13/2021|
The novel has illustrations.
G Lady bought this vintage bridal gown in 1985. She waits and waits for decades. Sad.
Orange man, have a heart for the Lady in waiting. One day soon, carry her across the threshold at Mar,-a-Lago.
|by Anonymous||reply 86||05/13/2021|
I’m thinking more like this, R86
|by Anonymous||reply 87||05/13/2021|
"Next to my canopy bed, on the white French Provincial night table with gold trim my pink princess phone rang. It startled me......who could it possible be"?
|by Anonymous||reply 88||05/13/2021|
I take no leave of you, Ms Cheney. I send no compliments to your mother. You deserve no such attention. I am most seriously displeased.”
|by Anonymous||reply 89||05/13/2021|
R87 I am howling! LOL
|by Anonymous||reply 90||05/13/2021|
"What is that smell?" whispered Ms. Gaetz, to Ms. Hawley, behind her hand fan.
"I think she prolapsed again," said Ms. Hawley, stifling a giggle.
Just then, Ms. Graham appeared, magisterial in the doorway. "So nice of you to come and see me, Ms. Hawley, without the white hood," she said, before taking a seat. ".And you, Ms. Gaetz - how's that little pool boy of yours? Escaped the restraints, has he?"
|by Anonymous||reply 91||05/13/2021|
The young cockgobbler caught my eye when I noticed him making oogly eyes at Senator Thune at the Congressional Baseball game. Somebody called in an anonymous tip about the young cockgobbler’s spending habits shortly thereafter.
|by Anonymous||reply 92||05/13/2021|
"I garnished, Paco, the pool boy's mint julip with a fresh sprig of mint and daintily tip toed in my peach colored Espadrilles out to the verandah. Arranging my freshly powdered face into my most seductive come hither look, looking down at his glistening bare chest, my heart aflutter, I daintily called out to him to come up and take a break from the scorching heat and to thrust his powerfully strong masculine body deep within my pink magnolia"
|by Anonymous||reply 93||05/13/2021|
"I garnished, Paco, the pool boy's mint julip with a fresh sprig of mint and daintily tip toed in my peach colored Espadrilles out to the verandah. Arranging my freshly powdered face into my most seductive come hither look, looking down at his glistening bare chest, my heart aflutter, I daintily called out to him to come up and take a break from the scorching heat and to thrust his powerfully strong masculine body deep within my pink magnolia"
|by Anonymous||reply 94||05/13/2021|
"I garnished, Paco, the pool boy's mint julip with a fresh sprig of mint and daintily tip toed in my peach colored Espadrilles out to the verandah. Arranging my freshly powdered face into my most seductive come hither look, looking down at his glistening bare chest, my heart aflutter, I daintily called out to him to come up and take a break from the scorching heat and to thrust his powerfully strong masculine body deep within my pink magnolia"
|by Anonymous||reply 95||05/13/2021|
The Senatrice got out her slam book and started writing furiously:
Who does that Ms Cheney think she is, accusing my dear beau Mr. Trump of LYING about the election? Mr. Trump would never engage in such mendacity!!!
Marjorie Taylor Greene needs to be a bit more ladylike. Perhaps I should tell her to pencil in some etiquette classes after her Anglo-Saxon heritage celebration. How else will she fit in with the other girls at the cotillion?
That brazen hussy, Nancy Pelosi, will get what's coming to her! Did she think I didn't hear her call me an obese queen behind my back? The only shade I'll tolerate is the kind coming from under a magnolia tree!
|by Anonymous||reply 96||05/13/2021|
Do you want to explain yourself r93-95?
|by Anonymous||reply 97||05/13/2021|
R97 Ask Muriel.
|by Anonymous||reply 98||05/13/2021|
Josh Hawley will never be crowned the Senate's Magnolia Queen! That crown is mine, bitch!!!!!!
|by Anonymous||reply 99||05/13/2021|
You wish that crown were yours, Senator!
|by Anonymous||reply 100||05/13/2021|
Diary of Lady Lindsey Graham, Dowager Duchess of South Carolina. Entry for May 10, 2021:
Why do we still have to wear masks on the Senate floor? How am I supposed to flirt with all the interns and pages when they can't see my pretty face?
|by Anonymous||reply 101||05/13/2021|
That scarlet woman, Josh Hawley, keeps winking at my interns! Try that again, bitch, and I'll poke your eyes out! My spies saw her out buying wine again....a few more years and the bloom will be off the rose. She'll be a bloated drunk and no one will look twice at her!!! *laughs maniacally*
|by Anonymous||reply 102||05/13/2021|
Walking to the open window, he smiled thinking of all he sissy-Mary-faries he wishd dead.
|by Anonymous||reply 103||05/13/2021|
He couldn't find the right lighting for his Thomas Kincaide so he decided to torture the Latino staff with song.
|by Anonymous||reply 104||05/13/2021|
Rosa, Juan, I'm sending you two back to El Salvador if you don't get Shawn Mendes on the phone this instant!!!
|by Anonymous||reply 105||05/13/2021|
March 15, 2016: Susan Sarandon walked into Graham's office and said, "I have a plan. I know how we can make Trump president."
|by Anonymous||reply 106||05/13/2021|
Chile, that Cory Booker sure is a strapping specimen. I'd invite him over to take tea on my veranda if he weren't.....ethnic. My plantation has a "Whites Only" policy
|by Anonymous||reply 107||05/13/2021|
These are hilarious! I'm laughing so hard that if I had a pussy, I would have queefed multiple times reading this thread.
|by Anonymous||reply 108||05/13/2021|
Hawley is Hawt!!!!
|by Anonymous||reply 109||05/13/2021|
I can't believe Norman Lloyd only made it to 106. Amateur. Dear mother lived to 107......until I decided to help her meet Jesus by putting a lil' arsenic in her mint julep
|by Anonymous||reply 110||05/13/2021|
Dammit, Encarnacion, I said EARL GREY not chamomile!!!! If you do this one more time I'm gonna ring up all my contacts at immigration!
|by Anonymous||reply 111||05/13/2021|
Oooooh, Chasten's gonna be all a-twitter if she finds out Pete's been making eyes at all those White House interns! Gurl's gonna need a size 28 caftan from Dress Barn when she gets through eating her feelings!
|by Anonymous||reply 112||05/13/2021|
The next time a datalounger calls me a fat queen with jowls I'm gonna get Vlad to send his bot army to hack this site!
|by Anonymous||reply 113||05/13/2021|
Someone tell Caitlin Jenner there's only room for one lady golfer in politics and that's MOI
|by Anonymous||reply 114||05/13/2021|
Sorry Miss Ocasio-Cortez, just because I think all darkies should be back working on the plantations does NOT make me a racist. I'm just an old-fashioned girl who yearns for the gentility of bygone days
|by Anonymous||reply 115||05/13/2021|
The next morning he was sore, not surprisingly, and had to sit in a warm bath for hours before he could start the day.
|by Anonymous||reply 116||05/13/2021|
Well, this thread is just the dumbest damn thing that ever was on God's green Earth.
|by Anonymous||reply 117||05/13/2021|
Lindsey's rosebud was in full bloom and covered in lovely ladybugs by the time Jorge left the hotel suite.
|by Anonymous||reply 118||05/13/2021|
"If I had a pussy, I would have queefed multiple times"
Have you ever squatted over a mirror, Ms. Graham?
|by Anonymous||reply 119||05/13/2021|
Little did he know that that brief encounter behind the Piggly Wiggly in Bluffton would come back to haunt him many years later.
|by Anonymous||reply 120||05/13/2021|
Lindsey frowned. The new maid, Esperanza, had made a "regular three-ring circus" of his dressing table, he muttered under his breath. Mother's silver comb, which Lindsey still used on his hair, had not been cleaned, and the fingernail brush was placed on the left, not the right, of the tray that Grandfather had brought back from one of his frequent visits to New Orleans. This never would have happened with Hattie. "Ah do wish Negress maids would come back in style," he muttered, dusting his chest with sweet talc.
|by Anonymous||reply 121||05/13/2021|
I found this delicious muumuu at the Vermont County Store (sidebar: Why isn't there a South Carolina Country Store?) but the 3x size is still a little snug. Sigh. I guess I'll have to go back on Atkins. Goodbye, mint juleps. Goodbye, hummingbird cake. Goodbye, sweet tea. *sobs into handkerchief*
|by Anonymous||reply 122||05/13/2021|
Washington just hasn't been the same since Denny Hastert left. I'm blushing just thinking about all those wrestlers he introduced me to. Such accommodating gentlemen, but you'll never get any details. A lady never kisses and tells 💋
|by Anonymous||reply 123||05/13/2021|
"Senator Chuck Grassley speaking to Senator Patrick Leahy: I asked Senator Graham to lunch to discuss the infrastructure bill. Lindsey said he is committed to another, and on the advice of Karen Pence, Graham decided Dianne Feinstein must come along to be sure there is no temptation."
"Now I understand, responded Senator Leahy. I asked Lindsey to stop by my office to tell me about Charleston, SC. My wife and I are thinking about vacationing there this summer. When he stopped by, Lindsey brought along Senator Susan Collins. Puzzled, I asked Susan had she vacationed in Charleston? No, replied Susan, Lindsey asked me to come along on the advice of Mrs. Pence,
|by Anonymous||reply 124||05/13/2021|
This year's Miss South Carolina is soooo mediocre. She can't hold a candle to me, but when I tried to apply I was told the competition was only open to ladies under 27 years of age. How dare they! We all know I don't look a day over 24.
|by Anonymous||reply 125||05/13/2021|
"My earliest memories growing up in a sleepy South Carolina town was me winning the Little Miss Central Beauty Pageant ....Mother Graham was awfully proud that day."
|by Anonymous||reply 126||05/13/2021|
Susan Collins looked at Lindsey and weeped. "I'll never be as pretty as she is! I'll always be a plain Jane!"
|by Anonymous||reply 127||05/13/2021|
Alex Riley is DEAD TO ME!!!!! I'll never get over this loss!!!! Hawley, bring me the axe!!!!
|by Anonymous||reply 128||05/13/2021|
I'm stockpiling AR-15s so I can be Lauren Boebert for Halloween
|by Anonymous||reply 129||05/13/2021|
"Gym whispers to Louie, that's some good poosie".
|by Anonymous||reply 130||05/13/2021|
I just don't feel fresh without a spritz of my Beautiful Magnolia perfume. I wonder if Estee Lauder is looking for a new spokesmodel (hint, hint!)
|by Anonymous||reply 131||05/13/2021|
The scent of the sweet talc on his chest sent Lindsey into reminiscence about the maids he had known: first Maw-Maw Jenny, who would take him in her lap and rest his head on her eggplant-colored breasts when he would come home from school in hot tears over the boys teasing him. Then there was her daughter Dinah, who shared his love for Elvis Presley and would giggle with him over a scrapbook when his parents weren't home.
It was Hattie he loved the most, though, and he had thought she would die in the same room of the house where she was born, under the wall plaque that read "I Know My Redeemer Liveth." But Hattie had saved her money, and her children, Alexandra and Mark, became the first in their family to go to college. They both lived in Atlanta now, and last year Hattie had surprised Lindsey by giving two weeks' notice and leaving his employ, as her children had gotten her a condo in Atlanta. He had sent her a Christmas card but not gotten one in return. It was a lonely feeling, knowing he missed her more than she missed "Mr. Lindsey."
|by Anonymous||reply 132||05/13/2021|
Lindsey could practically feel the steam rising off her when Madison Cawthorn wheeled past
|by Anonymous||reply 133||05/13/2021|
"Lindsey supports the blue."
|by Anonymous||reply 134||05/13/2021|
Snapping out of the most pleasant daydream, Miss Lindz looked down at her notepad where she had doodled “Mrs. Lindsay Trump, FLOTUS”, as a coquettish smile lingered upon her lips.
|by Anonymous||reply 135||05/13/2021|
I support the blue.....balls I get every time I see a delicious cop and I can't have him
|by Anonymous||reply 136||05/13/2021|
I've had a series of violent, unlovely hookups. I'm an older gay man in his late 50s and a strict bottom. I cruised this really masc, macho biker type. He was 6'3", at least 240 pounds, and built like a shit brickhouse. He was wearing a singlet, and he had amazing, ripe hairy pits. I brought him over to my apartment. When I tried to make small talk he said, 'No talking, f@ggot." That instantly dilated and dewed up my mussy. But then he just hauled me onto my shag carpet, and rammed home. No warning, no lube. Just straight in with his enormous fuckrod and 0-gauge PA. He tore up my asshole for what felt like hours and then dropped his load. Pulled out. Pissed on me and my shag carpet, and left without saying a word. Nothing at all. What's wrong with guys these days?
|by Anonymous||reply 137||05/13/2021|
Late 50s? Is this science fiction, Lindsey?
|by Anonymous||reply 138||05/13/2021|
I'm 56, but can still pass for 23 by candlelight.
|by Anonymous||reply 139||05/13/2021|
He stormed into the veranda, his floral embroidered caftan billowing in the hot, humid breeze, which seemed to punctuate the searing rage that bubbled up and threatened to wash over his usually ebullient and carefully controlled facade. He was cracking.
“Why must everything be a [italic]contest[/italic],”he hissed to himself while unfastening the clip-on earrings - he never [italic]was[/italic] able to summon the courage to pierce his ears - Gustav had gifted him with after that stimulatingly long - and [italic]deserved[/italic], he thought, with unapologetic entitlement, to himself - weekend in Sweden, tugging them from his earlobes with a rapidity that seemed, rather than intentional, to escape him like a long withheld breath.
With one earring clasped in each hand, he inhaled deeply and crossed his arms over his chest, his clenched fists each landing just above his breasts - they [italic]were[/italic] breasts, goddammit, he assured himself - and he couldn’t help but softly caress his nipples with the undersides of his wrists. He knew the solution to this dilemma. He smiled to himself, more hopeful than wistful.
He would call Jose. Jose always knows how to cheer me up, he comforted himself, making his way into the house.
|by Anonymous||reply 140||05/13/2021|
After he straightened the Gabor wig (a shiny black poodle number) and smoothed the sides of his bustier, Senator Graham donned the tear-away crinoline skirt. As the poor cripple Sitler rolled tentatively *yes, machines roll tentatively* into the room, Linds managed to lift one foot onto the sofa and began...
”What ever Lola WANTS.... Lola GETS....
No use to fight. Don't you know you can't win?
You're no exception to the rule, I'm irresistible, you fool,
Give in!...Give in!...Give in!”
|by Anonymous||reply 141||05/13/2021|
|by Anonymous||reply 142||05/13/2021|
Chapter 3: Mourning Becomes Lady G
She sat in the stuffy parlor in her best silk stuffed dress, the one with the lace edging ordered specially from Talbots, to receive mourners after the tragic loss of her dear Big Daddy John McCain. Granted, John wasn't actually dead - he was still undergoing aggressive cancer treatments, though no one was optimistic about the outcome - but to Lindsey, he was essentially dead because he could no longer be of use to her. What was she to do, she thought to herself. John was her ally, friend and big brother. Lindsey tagged along behind him like a well trained cocker spaniel. Not even John's drugged out wife Cindy or that fat, ill-bred sow of a daughter could keep them apart. But now Lindsey was alone, without a friend in the world. She sniffled and rubbed the red, puffy eyes.
Just then, that petulant new maid (she had a name, but Lindsey kept referring to her as "beaner") switched on Fox News and Lindsey gasped - right there on the screen was a fat, orange, bloviating fool. He was mimicking the spasms of reporter suffering from some kind of palsy or neurological disorder, much to the delight of a crowd of fat, ill bred morons, probably collected from the check out line at Walmart (because god knows this bunch could never self-check out!). Just then, Lindsey realized while she loved John, she was now free to love another. And that new man was none other than Donald Trump.
|by Anonymous||reply 143||05/14/2021|
"When ball licking, sucking, rimming, and caddying, Twinkletoes is unbeatable exclaimed the would-be orange führer. But as a pee-pee girl, speaking frankly, she is damn lousy!"
|by Anonymous||reply 144||05/14/2021|
When Graham heard Dunaway proclaim in the last lines of the film, "I....I'm Laura Mars", he began to weep from recognition.
|by Anonymous||reply 145||05/14/2021|
Lindsey snuggled deeper into her Confederate flag onesie. Had she been too forward with the young Congressman? She sighed and took a dainty sip of her Pink Lady. Suddenly the phone rang with the special ringtone she had assigned to her latest fave. “Roll me away, won’t you me away tonight” sang Bob Seger. Taking a deep breath she answered “Why, hello Madison!” she purred.
|by Anonymous||reply 146||05/14/2021|
[quote] Then, grinning mischievously, his face taking on the circumference of a pumpkin
|by Anonymous||reply 147||05/14/2021|
Mothers pink silk panties felt so good against my small penis and underdeveloped testicles.... so cooling in the sweltering South Carolina heat. I looked down at my tiny lump and felt the need to stroke it.
|by Anonymous||reply 148||05/14/2021|
Has anyone link this wonderful story to Miss L's Twitter?
|by Anonymous||reply 149||05/14/2021|
R149, please do!
|by Anonymous||reply 150||05/14/2021|
Lindsey was famished for blondes...
|by Anonymous||reply 151||05/14/2021|
"Why does the Senate building have such HARSH fluorescent lighting?" sighed Lindsey. "Why can't we fill it full of gentle paper lanterns?"
|by Anonymous||reply 152||05/14/2021|
Can we get a title for this?
1.Lace and Magnolias
2.A Streetcar Named Senatrice
|by Anonymous||reply 153||05/14/2021|
The joke is on you, Amanda. This “small penis” isn’t a penis at all; it is a supple and rather large clitoris.
If only I hadn’t been blighted by genital omphalocele, my ovaries would be where they ought to be, and I could be be myself.
|by Anonymous||reply 154||05/14/2021|
|by Anonymous||reply 155||05/14/2021|
Naked Came the Senatrice
|by Anonymous||reply 156||05/14/2021|
"What will happen to Nestor if Matt goes to jail?" wondered Lindsey
|by Anonymous||reply 157||05/14/2021|
“We’re behind closed doors now,” the senator smiled and his eyes lingered over the would-be congressman’s broad shoulders with barely subdued rapture. His heart seemed to skip a beat. “You can call me Philomena.”
|by Anonymous||reply 158||05/14/2021|
"I'll just dab on a little Nuit de Longchamps!" said Lindsey with a wink. "This will drive the boys crazy!"
|by Anonymous||reply 159||05/14/2021|
We can use this paperback book cover and we don't even have to change the title:
|by Anonymous||reply 160||05/14/2021|
"My friends call me Lindsey" said the Senatrice, rubbing some Avon Skin-So-Soft into her chubby hands. Then she added "But you can call me Dainty June"
|by Anonymous||reply 161||05/14/2021|
"Leader Kevin, under stress, called G Lady for advice. G Lady told Kevin to come right over and chat and partake of a few drinkypoos. Kevin raced to visit G Lady. One thing led to another. G Lady dropped her nightgown, laid back on her fainting couch, and slowly removed her Ruby colored panties. Kevin, surprised and aroused, proceeded to do his manly duty.."
|by Anonymous||reply 162||05/14/2021|
Lindsey was excited. Tomorrow he was off on another fact-finding trip to Cozumel with his carefully chosen staff of theater twinks. Although they intended to visit every Gentleman's establishment in the area; most especially that cellar of forbidden fruit he'd been licking his lips at the thought of for weeks.
|by Anonymous||reply 163||05/14/2021|
At night in her canopied bed, propped up on multiple goose down pillows and swathed in the finest rose-scented satin sheets Ms Lindsey lusted after Tony Blinken, imagining her delicate ankles on the handsome Jew's shoulders as his Hebraic manhood plunged into her lily white WASP puckered hole. But it was fleeting, because from the recesses of her mind Mama Graham appeared and said reproachfully "For shame Ms Lindsey! To think that my only daughter would sully my memory by fornicating with one of those who killed our Lord and Savior, praised be his name Jesus!"
|by Anonymous||reply 164||05/14/2021|
What was he to do? The vote On President Trump was in 25 minutes. How was he going to get ALL this body paint off in 25 minutes??
|by Anonymous||reply 165||05/14/2021|
"Alone in her bed, she reflects, looks up to the ceiling, and painfully moans aloud: Why Lawd, always a mistress, never a bride?"
|by Anonymous||reply 166||05/14/2021|
"'Generous'?? What made you think I have to pay for sex? I'll have you know I'm still mistaken for a man in his 30s. Why I--
The ruff trade grabbed Linnard by the ankles and dangled him over the balcony- his caftan riding-up to expose his nipples and pathetically undersized (and shaved) genitals for the world to see.
"Stop it! Stop it!" he cried. "They'll send you to Sing-Sing! I know people who will kill you! You'll never get away with this!"
After a while, the trade reluctantly dragged him back up. Linnard cowered in the corner of the terrace, traumatized. "Get my bag. I'll give you anything you want. Just get out. GET OUT!".
|by Anonymous||reply 167||05/14/2021|
“Mama didn’t just teach me gumption, she rammed it up my ass and forced me to hold it in, clench so tightly and fill myself with so much self-generated heat, I eventually made a solid diamond out of her dark, dusty coal.” The silence settled over the room like a silk sheath dropped midair.
Lindsey waited a beat before taking a deep breath, smiling, and letting out a condescending sigh and tsk. “You don’t really think you’ll win, [italic]do you[/italic]?” he asked, not waiting for an answer. He breezed out of the room, the sensation of his silk lace panties under his suit - his “Washington uniform”, as he’d often referred to his professional wear - making him feel both naughty and powerful.
|by Anonymous||reply 168||05/14/2021|
"No Senator, I cannot introduce you to my friend Squee, replied the Supreme Court Justice".
|by Anonymous||reply 169||05/14/2021|
Justice Kavanagh made mama's mussy moist! Moister than Lindsey's begonias after a spring rain shower
|by Anonymous||reply 170||05/14/2021|
Lindsey couldn't believe Ted Cruz had the gumption to go to Cancun when his constituents needed him. He should have gone to Tulum instead.
|by Anonymous||reply 171||05/14/2021|
“I am the hidden dispensatrix of all mercy, power, and pleasure in the Republican Party. My rule is solitary; my command undeniable.” He looked in the mirror as if peering into a deep well. He felt flushed as he rehearsed his welcome speech to Donald. He must get it [italic]just right[/italic]; lay down the rules, outline the boundaries. He felt hot, bothered, and his body trembled and throbbed.
“Paolo!” he called to his night servant. He heard no response.
“PA-OLO!” he singsonged.
“ ¿Sí, señora?” Paolo replied from across the hall, his voice as deep and reassuring as ever.
“Come to me. And bring me my slippers,” Lindsey draped himself on his bed like an expensive throw. “I need a spritzing,” he cooed.
|by Anonymous||reply 172||05/14/2021|
Also Known as The Lindsey Graham Story:
|by Anonymous||reply 173||05/14/2021|
Lindsey decided it was time to record a single. The title "Wet Ass Mussy" sounded great to him.
|by Anonymous||reply 174||05/14/2021|
"Lá Sénatrice ponders the thought that her tangerine honey may not run again due to age and health. She is noticing Junior's continuing rise in popularity with the Q MAGA base. There poses a difficult challenge: a pussy duel with Rolodex Kimberly."
|by Anonymous||reply 175||05/15/2021|
(this is an actual passage from Lindsey Graham's autobiography)
"I was one of the main attractions at the bar when I was between the ages of four and seven. I might not have been as big a draw as the beer or the Piccolo, but folks seemed to be amused by my antics. I was always kind of a little guy. My wrestling weight in high school was one-hundred-and-two pounds. I was really small at four, five and six, and very animated. I talked my head off to anyone who would listen to me. People apparently found the combination of my slight stature and gabby nature comical.
"I took a great deal of pleasure in mischief, which came as naturally to me as verbosity did. But I think I was conscious, too, that I was giving a performance, that I was expected to entertain folks. And I knew the more audacious I was the more entertaining I would be. I spent a lot of time just playing pinball, standing on an overturned Coca Cola crate. When I wasn’t playing pinball, I liked to sit at the bar with my dad or help mom stock the cooler with beer. But when the place started to fill in and liven up, I would get my act going. I would strut around the place, sometimes dressed as a cowboy — hat, vest and plastic six shooters. I might get up on the bar and walk up and down it while talking to folks. When customers went to the restroom, I might steal their beer and chug it. I might smoke their cigarette, too, if they left it burning in the ashtray. "
|by Anonymous||reply 176||05/15/2021|
It had taken months to save up the money from his small allowance, but at last it was going to happen. All the children had been given nickels to go to the ice cream store.
Lindsey stood on the porch in his best t-shirt. He was waiting for the tall, sinewy black stud that always walked by on his way home from work. And there he was. It was now or never.
Lindsey called to him: "Boy! Boy, I'm talking to you. I'll give you a nickel if you come in hyer and bus' up this chifforobe for me."
|by Anonymous||reply 177||05/15/2021|
|by Anonymous||reply 178||05/15/2021|
R176 Are you serious? 😂
[quote] But when the place started to fill in and liven up, I would get my act going. I would strut around the place, sometimes dressed as a cowboy — hat, vest and plastic six shooters. I might get up on the bar and walk up and down it while talking to folks. When customers went to the restroom, I might steal their beer and chug it. I might smoke their cigarette, too, if they left it burning in the ashtray.
For some reason, I am not picturing cowboy attire, though I can definitely envision the “strut.”
|by Anonymous||reply 179||05/15/2021|
R176, I'm picturing him dressed up like a cowboy and looking like Beverly Leslie
|by Anonymous||reply 180||05/15/2021|
Lindsey danced around in her boudoir while blasting Sheena Easton's "Strut"
|by Anonymous||reply 181||05/15/2021|
It was his secret ambition to one day perform his long-practiced baton twirling routine in the well of the Senate.
|by Anonymous||reply 182||05/15/2021|
|by Anonymous||reply 183||05/15/2021|
|by Anonymous||reply 184||05/15/2021|
He felt satisfyingly indecent asking Donald to manually express his anal glands, a privileged task he usually saved for Paolo’s eager dexterity. He
“No gloves,” he said matter-of-factly, with a rapid waive of his hands.
|by Anonymous||reply 185||05/15/2021|
He felt satisfyingly indecent asking Donald to manually express his anal glands, a privileged task he usually saved for Paolo’s eager dexterity.
“No gloves,” he ordered matter-of-factly, with a rapid waive of his hands and a barely perceptible twinkle in his eyes.
|by Anonymous||reply 186||05/15/2021|
lol This novel may only be sold in adult xxx bookstores.in Bangkok and the Mar-a-Lago gift shop behind the counter.
|by Anonymous||reply 187||05/15/2021|
R186, your final draft should correct your misspelling of "wave."
|by Anonymous||reply 188||05/15/2021|
R188 Gah! lol. Thank you!
|by Anonymous||reply 189||05/15/2021|
All I can picture while reading these excerpts is Blanche Devereaux's body with Lindsey Graham's head! LOL
|by Anonymous||reply 190||05/15/2021|
I didn't think it would be so sexually explicit, but I probably shouldn't be surprised!
|by Anonymous||reply 191||05/15/2021|
[quote]He named each of his ladybugs after an especially satisfying trick, though not the Latino ones.
R191 OP, what? You invited it.
|by Anonymous||reply 192||05/15/2021|
I hope Jonathan Van Ness narrates the Audible version of this novel
|by Anonymous||reply 193||05/15/2021|
Van Ness might be too macho to capture Lindsey's aura
|by Anonymous||reply 194||05/15/2021|
For OP's novel:
"On the golf course, Tangerine 🍊 Turd barked to Lady Belle, when we are done here, go find me two watersports girls for tonight. They must be young, pretty, and preferably eastern European. But sir, replied Lady Belle, I don't know anyone like that, especially around the Palm Beach area. Tangerine Turd, getting stern, responded that 'no' is not an option, and that Lady Belle will not like the consequences if he doesn't deliver.
Leaving the clubhouse, Lady Belle summoned the chauffer to drive him around to find a couple of young women who will pee for pay.
Lady Belle looked high and low but could find none that fit Turd's criteria. Lady Belle returned to Mar-a-Lago dejected and fearful. Melonia saw Lady Belle in the lobby and asked, why so sad Lady Belle? Crying, Lady Belle couldn't hold it in any longer and spilled the story. Melonia, comforting Lady Belle said, 'oh that, no worry, me fix it for you. I give Turd a roofie at nine and you enter his bedroom at nine thirty with the two pee pee girls I picked. He will see you done your work and he gets to enjoy the pee pee girls before he passes out. He will be groggy and will not recognized the girls. But Melonia, where will you get them asked Lady Belle? No problem, I have plenty of extra girly clothes, wigs, and makeup. Rudy and Lewie Goomert both owe me big favor and I will show them how Turd likes the pee. Mission was accomplished."
|by Anonymous||reply 195||05/15/2021|
r192 I wasn't complaining! :)
|by Anonymous||reply 196||05/15/2021|
He put the phone down slowly, the words he heard still in his memory. Was it true, can it really happen, should I give it more thought. He looked in the mirror and repeated the words "one is never too old to undergo a sex change."
|by Anonymous||reply 197||05/15/2021|
The only man South Carolina would accept a transitioned Sénatrice marrying would be Trump. The SC MAGAs would celebrate it.
|by Anonymous||reply 198||05/15/2021|
A snip and a tuck, he thought to himself. No! If only people would overlook my gunt and accept my protruding cunt!
|by Anonymous||reply 199||05/15/2021|
It was Casual Friday, and to many in the know that meant only one thing: Senator Graham's carefully selected staff of theater twinks had to wear those canary yellow Capri pants the Senator liked so much. There was no getting out of it.
|by Anonymous||reply 200||05/15/2021|
"She's my sister! *SLAP* She's my daughter! *SLAP* She's my sister! *SLAP*
"She's my daughterrrr... AND my sister! Do you understand?!"
|by Anonymous||reply 201||05/15/2021|
R201 😂 Who’s doing the slapping?
|by Anonymous||reply 202||05/15/2021|
Dust on the Lladro. Again. Lindsay thought "I have to something about Rosa". But then again, no one made a Rob Roy like Rosa. She was the picture of discretion when it came to his gentlemen friends. And she never complained about cleaning the stains from his crinolines.
|by Anonymous||reply 203||05/15/2021|
Lindsey kissed the Madame Alexander Confederate soldier doll, pretending they were in love. "Oh, Beauregard! I love you so much!" he whispered to the doll
|by Anonymous||reply 204||05/15/2021|
“I’ll take two in della Robbia blue.”
|by Anonymous||reply 205||05/16/2021|
The tendrils gradually emerging from the senator’s anus caught the congressman by surprise, who audibly gasped, and it was all Lindsey could do to suppress a cackle, wanting to maintain an unruffled level of composure and professionalism.
“Take your time,” he said to the congressman in a cool and even manner, smiling slyly, his face cheek-down against his desk, his body bent over like a sturdy shelf bracket.
|by Anonymous||reply 206||05/16/2021|
"If it fits me, I'm gonna wear my red dress it to the Olympus Ball!"
|by Anonymous||reply 207||05/16/2021|
THE ADAPTED SÉNATRICE ANTHEM
"EVERY DAY WITH TRUMP, IS SWEETER THAN THE DAY BEFORE
EVERY DAY WITH TRUMP, I LOVE HIM MORE AND MORE
TRUMP SAVES AND KEEPS ME, AND HE'S THE ONE I'M WAITING FOR
EVERY DAY WITH TRUMP IS SWEETER THAN THE DAY BEFORE"
|by Anonymous||reply 208||05/16/2021|
Despite the gargling and the mouthwash he could still taste the afternoon treat. His nostrils were still filled with the musky scent of black laborer ass.
|by Anonymous||reply 209||05/16/2021|
"I'm wearing mothers pink silk dainties in the senate chambers and no one knows," giggled Lindsey to himself.
|by Anonymous||reply 210||05/16/2021|
|by Anonymous||reply 211||05/16/2021|
Can Paul Rudnick contribute to the book?
|by Anonymous||reply 212||05/16/2021|
"That disgusting romantic obsession for Cadet Bone Spurs has contributed to damaging democracy and the judicial process."
|by Anonymous||reply 213||05/16/2021|
Gym Jordan wears his jockstrap backwards......I wonder who else knows? Lindsey giggled to himself.
|by Anonymous||reply 214||05/16/2021|
"Ladybelle, having a kleptomania moment, 'lifted' this painting from a frontage road boutique. It now hangs in her foyer above the vase of silk gladiolus.
|by Anonymous||reply 215||05/16/2021|
"The South shall rise again!" laughed Lindsey, ogling a Senate intern in tight pants
|by Anonymous||reply 216||05/16/2021|
"Donald, I don't want to hear about any more pee pee girls. I am puting my foot down about this! When you have such urges, call me. I'll be on the next flight if I am not already there." G Lady
|by Anonymous||reply 217||05/16/2021|
Granny Graham always said "The darker the berry, the sweeter the juice." When she went to make her maker she had a tummy full of juice and a smile on her face.,,,a smile that left Lindsey squirming in his seat.
|by Anonymous||reply 218||05/16/2021|
The Senatrice could not believe what she was hearing, "But you're a congressman, suh!" The Senatrice gathered her sheets around her body, "Whatever do you mean by cash only, Mr. Schock?"
|by Anonymous||reply 219||05/16/2021|
Graham cocked his head in response to the joke about the closeted Senator on HBO’S “Hack’ and asked the empty room, ‘do people think my friends smell like mothballs?”
|by Anonymous||reply 220||05/16/2021|
Nothing could make Miss Linsey squeal like a little schoolgirl more than when Donald Trump would order her dinner. “What a gentleman!” she would shriek and giggle as she poured tea for her American Girl dolls,. "Oh shut up! He was not implying I’m fat by ordering the fish, he just cares about my heart, you heartless floozies!” she would yell back when one of the dolls got too big for her britches.
|by Anonymous||reply 221||05/16/2021|
Gore Vidal could have done wonders with this material.
|by Anonymous||reply 222||05/16/2021|
"Oh, Hogan! Naughty boy".
|by Anonymous||reply 223||05/16/2021|
One of the funniest thread ever. DL, you are hilarious
|by Anonymous||reply 224||05/16/2021|
Hogan, can I stroke your ratty Korean weave?
|by Anonymous||reply 225||05/16/2021|
“Since we’re behind close doors now let me be explicit, Don,” Lindsay cleared his throat as he turned to face the newly elected President of the United States. “I can crack a nut with my cunt.” The door [italic]clicked[/italic] shut behind him before the President could even think of a reply.
|by Anonymous||reply 226||05/16/2021|
|by Anonymous||reply 227||05/17/2021|
"She enjoyed the nearby Clemson football practices, paying particular attention to the tight ends."
|by Anonymous||reply 228||05/17/2021|
"The elated proud boys erupted in cheer and adulation, with erections galore, as Lindzebelle climbed the steps to the platform during the early stages of the MAGA rally. The women there who weren't advanced-age seniors, had folded arms and scowls on their faces. Such diverse reactions."
|by Anonymous||reply 229||05/18/2021|
"She is stinky and not in a good way."
|by Anonymous||reply 230||05/19/2021|
"Mitchy, I could never be your woman" she said, tenderly stroking Mitch McConnell's neck pouch
|by Anonymous||reply 231||05/19/2021|
"Mitch is proud of his caruncles. He sees his wattles and snoods complementary to his testudines face and posture."
|by Anonymous||reply 232||05/19/2021|
"Homo-secks-shull. Ho. Mo. Secks. Shull." The words of the school therapist rang in his ears even hours later, just like the taunts from the boys in his gym class. But he would have the last laugh. The elegant ensemble he was working on for his Home Ec sewing class would make him the hit of the Cotillion.
|by Anonymous||reply 233||05/19/2021|
"Sean Hannity is enthusiastic about his show. He hosts Lindsey nightly. And the thing about Lindsey, she is not camera shy. It has to be exhilarating to be seen internationally. Foreigners wonder, why they don't have someone like Lindsey in government."
|by Anonymous||reply 234||05/19/2021|
Margaret, a retired 79 y.o. elementary school cafeteria cook, said to her 81 y.o. retired refrigerator technician husband, Roy, while watching Hannity, "Lindzey is a nice young man, why is he not married, there are so many women out there looking for a husband that is so accomplished?". Roy in replying to Margaret frankly, said "dear, I fixed Lindzey's refrigerator twenty years ago on a house call. By the way he decided to pay me, I am quite confident he won't be hitching up to any woman, ever. Leave it at that".
|by Anonymous||reply 235||05/19/2021|
"But ya ARE, Madison! Ya ARE in that chair!!!!" exclaimed Lindsey
|by Anonymous||reply 236||05/19/2021|
Mama always said "no man will ever respect you if you give away the milk for free, you have to play hard to get". Oh Mama would be so proud to know Lindsey never did give hers away, instead she took every man's milk that would let her.
|by Anonymous||reply 237||05/19/2021|
Tramp: The Lindsey Graham Story
|by Anonymous||reply 238||05/19/2021|
She died the way she lived - in the heat of passion!
|by Anonymous||reply 239||05/19/2021|
Suzie Collins asked her friend and colleague, Lady Belle, "those rumors Rand is spreading, exactly what does those ladybugs look like, Lady Belle?
Lady Belle replied to Suzie, "oh that, think about the banana you bought four days ago but haven't eaten yet".
|by Anonymous||reply 240||05/20/2021|
If Trump gets prosecuted, how will Lindsey handle that if Trump get locked-up? Can Lindsey cope emotionally with that?
|by Anonymous||reply 241||05/20/2021|
I sure hope I don't get prosecuted for calling up those election officials in Georgia and politely asking them to throw out 12,000 votes!!!!
|by Anonymous||reply 242||05/20/2021|
"Those Georgia election officials knew about the cadre of closeted gay Republican politicians from neighboring South Carolina. The high queen of SC made the call, thinking her lofty status and charm would deliver for Trump. The seditionists were wrong"
|by Anonymous||reply 243||05/20/2021|
[quote]If Trump gets prosecuted, how will Lindsey handle that if Trump get locked-up?
I picture Dump in his prison garb, slumped in a chair, while Lady G sits on the other side of the plexiglass, weeping inconsolably and promising to visit him again next week
|by Anonymous||reply 244||05/21/2021|
These posts are losing their novelistic flavor :(
|by Anonymous||reply 245||05/21/2021|
"The Sénatrice knows about conjugal visits.
The ex-Virst Lady won't go."
|by Anonymous||reply 246||05/21/2021|
"So many gentleman callers -- so little time," he sighed, while smoothing the petti-pants under his crinolines. "Mama always told me I was a pretty girl, but I never believed it until now." No one had the heart to tell him that they were using his campaign funds to rent these suitors.
|by Anonymous||reply 247||05/21/2021|
Lindsey wasn't sure they could make a go of it. He, a United States Senator, and Whizzer the 42 year old Proud Boy he met at a Burn the Damn Mask rally in DC he spoke at as a favor to Sen. Hawley.
|by Anonymous||reply 248||05/21/2021|
"Q, I know who you are, Lindzebelle retorted. You come and treat me as a refined lady should be treated, and our mutual secrets will remain confidential. Since this is our first date, understand that "no" means "yes" after partaking of three drinkypoos."
|by Anonymous||reply 249||05/21/2021|
"The highly rated Fox News anchor pondered, 'Is this really cheating on another again? Men are allowed to have 'buds', right? And another man can understand another man's needs if he role plays as a lady, right? Just laying there is really not an active role, is it? G says it is all right and proper."
|by Anonymous||reply 250||05/21/2021|
Lindsey decided to take up belly dancing as a way to lure more gentleman callers into her web. "Just call me Little Egypt" she said with a wink.
|by Anonymous||reply 251||05/21/2021|
|by Anonymous||reply 252||05/21/2021|
"As she spreads her legs to take a swing..."
|by Anonymous||reply 253||05/21/2021|
Then there was the day that Granny schooled Lil Lin on Dixie History. "The finest blood in the South also runs in Negro veins". "That's why they taste so sweet. They is kin".
|by Anonymous||reply 254||05/21/2021|
"La Sénatrice has a naughty habit of keeping gentleman callers waiting a bit too long."
|by Anonymous||reply 255||05/21/2021|
"The Lady and the Trump"
|by Anonymous||reply 256||05/22/2021|
His post-coital anal queefs made his valet resign.
|by Anonymous||reply 257||05/22/2021|
The Blue Oyster Bar bathrooms need more glory holes!
|by Anonymous||reply 258||05/22/2021|
"As Lindzebelle perused though Kimmie Guzzlefoyle's Rolodex of 142 doc pics she shared, Lindzebelle blushed as she recognized she had prior partaken 37 of those fellows
|by Anonymous||reply 259||05/22/2021|
^dic, not doc
|by Anonymous||reply 260||05/22/2021|
"Well fiddle dee dee!" said Lindseybelle, swishing her crinoline around
|by Anonymous||reply 261||05/22/2021|
After a fragrant encounter with an unsophisticated but massively hung country bumpkin, Miss Lindsey cried, “As God is my witness, I’ll never eat ass again!”
|by Anonymous||reply 262||05/22/2021|
"As a favor to Miss Ladybug, Mattie told her of a little hideaway in NW Florida where she can go for fun escapades without any interruptions."
|by Anonymous||reply 263||05/22/2021|
"Miss Charlie Crist is kidding herself if she thinks she's prettier than me!!!! She's just jealous of all my gentleman callers"
|by Anonymous||reply 264||05/22/2021|
"She waited in the garden for that delicious gentleman yankee, Judge Kavanaughty to show and escort her down by the lake and whisper sweet nothings in her ear."
|by Anonymous||reply 265||05/22/2021|
"I feel faint! Help me someone, "Ms Lindsey cried, as she fell into the strong arms of Tony Blinken. Eyes aflutter, she looked into those deep dark eyes, and her ladyhood began to moisten and swell as she imagined him plunging his ample manhood into her sacred temple, like a hot knife through butter. He might be a heathen Democrat, but he was hers! Or soon would be.
Donald would have to wait.
|by Anonymous||reply 266||05/22/2021|
^ As if I would date a YANKEE! *flounces off*
|by Anonymous||reply 267||05/22/2021|
"It was on the golf course when he stole the Carolina maiden's heart."
|by Anonymous||reply 268||05/23/2021|
Some of these posts are wickedly hilarious.
|by Anonymous||reply 269||05/23/2021|
"Mattie has nothing on me, declared G Lady. I am mother to Orange Delight's baby."
|by Anonymous||reply 270||05/23/2021|
"The South shall rise again," thought Lindsey. But then he wondered if he'd remembered to get his Viagra prescription refilled.
|by Anonymous||reply 271||05/23/2021|
Coming to consciousness, he could hear the front doorbell. The Senator leapt like a mountain goat from the bed and rushed to the front door, suddenly all a-tingle, breathlessly hoping it would be that luscious young man from the Armed Services Committee hearing nightcap in his office the evening before; the one who claimed that he could do absolutely unSPEAKable things with two pairs of studded gloves and a Senate Page, if he ever wanted to see the trick for himself. Oh, if only it could be HIM, my day will be complete before high noon, he thought to himself, popping a few Tic Tacs and a little something to loosen the sphincter (though in truth the Senator had not required such assistance in many years).
"Come IN, my GALLANT sailor boy!!," he cried heartily, throwing open the doors, only to find to his crushing disappointment a shy, dumpy balding man, sweatily holding a bouquet of roses. "Oh MY. This is NOT my lucky day,, is it" he said aloud, "Well, fie on you. If you're here to sell me something, young man, I'll have you know that I am a United States Senator; and though my dear departed, saintly mama taught me perfect manners, I can have you shot for trespassing, let alone seeing me in such a disorderly state. I have..."
The Senator stopped.
"Wait a minute. I KNOW you from somewhere don't I?"
The visitor cleared his throat nervously. The only thing left to do was to say it before he lost his nerve entirely.
"I...I'm in l-love with you... Senator Graham" He lowered his eyes.. "If you would go steady with me, I would be so..."
"My oh my oh my! You're that...what's his name. I know you. You belong to that terrible little man from fuckmybum Iowa or Indiana or wherever. Am I right? You name is Chazz or...Chastity or..."
Chasten blushed, red as a firetruck.
|by Anonymous||reply 272||05/23/2021|
Lindsey typed the words into a Google search:
How to fix prolapse anus
|by Anonymous||reply 273||05/23/2021|
"You fellows listen up, shouted the Sargeant! A very powerful Senator from the Armed Services Committee is here to assess the new arrivals, each privately. Each of you will have twenty minutes, maximum, with the Senator. As each goes in as a young squirt, each of you better come out a MAN! YES SIR, responded the new recruits."
|by Anonymous||reply 274||05/23/2021|
"Oh, do I get to pick my cell mates"? Lindsey wondered, tickled at the though of all the manly men she would be meeting. "It should be jist like mah debut with the Daughters of Jefferson Davis, the day mamma introduce southern society to Miss Lindsey Graham."
|by Anonymous||reply 275||05/23/2021|
"Seeing Mitch move down the Capitol corridor, Lá Sénatrice commented to colleague Dianne about Turtle: Poor thang, she has lost her 'swish'; she just slowly shuffles now. Twenty years ago, she could still squirm her ass like an earthworm about to be hooked.”
|by Anonymous||reply 276||05/24/2021|
He felt utterly incandescent, the caftan Pietro had gifted him with giving him the distinct impression that at any moment, on a whim, he could lift off and fly.
|by Anonymous||reply 277||05/24/2021|
"PomPeo you naughty boy, she exclaimed, as she gently popped his hand."
|by Anonymous||reply 278||05/25/2021|
Once a year, around Easter, Senator Graham would invite his most favorite gentleman caller from the previous twelve months (choosing among those that he deemed presentable) for his Magical Make Believe Tea Party. The annual tradition began before he even knew what a gentleman caller was. Just Lindsey, all of 10 (soon to be 11!) and sole attendee Roger, of 47 summers, who sometimes fixed the Coca-Cola machine at the gas station next door to papa's bar and, even more frequently, would come in out of the heat to get a beer or three and watch Lindsey's Little Cowboy routine, which never failed to raise his spirits mightily. Meeting out in the woods, back of the Diner, had been Roger's idea; making a god-damn tea party out of it was Lindsey's.
|by Anonymous||reply 279||05/25/2021|
Lindsemae's first bonnet she wore in the Carolina foothills. Aunt Margaret's sewing skills were amazing.
|by Anonymous||reply 280||05/25/2021|
The winds that grazed Mount Kilimanjaro, which he had ascended and stood on in anticipation of reuniting with Paolo, caressed his face and body like lover, stiffening his nipples, which acted as barometers of his lust and arousal.
Paolo is on his way, he thought with giddy enthusiasm. For a fleeting moment his face, which faced the noonday sun like Hera preparing for battle, darkened and contorted into a scowl. Did he remember to bring the leather heels, he asked himself, remembering how absentminded Paolo, especially when impassioned, could be.
|by Anonymous||reply 281||05/25/2021|
“I am truly sorry, Lele,” said the senator insincerely, taking a moment to size up Leandro one last time. “I am, after all, very fickle.”
Leandro quickly struggled to emote, to show passion, maybe even anger, but he couldn’t. He felt relief.
“Don’t bother,” the senator immediately filled the awkward silence with a steely impatience and rapid waive of his hand, feeling a momentary flash of anger course through him before calming himself to a barely perceptible simmer. “You boys are all alike,” he added, tsk-ing knowingly.
Leandro was startled by the senator’s intuitive rapidity.
“Fortunately, I am, after all, [italic]me[/italic],” smiled the senator, “and you, my dear, will never work in this town - dare I say country - again. I have preemptively cut off your access to the apartment and credit cards. Your cellphone line has been disconnected, though you can keep the phone. Also, I have had the car towed and stored away until I can turn it in for a new one.” He paused for a quick intake of breath and the expulsion of a self-satisfied, condescending sigh. “Arturo will like what I’ve picked out, I’m sure,” he added, almost as an afterthought.
Leandro attempted to speak. “But, Linds -“
“You have ten minutes to vacate the premises,” the senator interrupted. “I’ll leave you to your packing.” Before breezing out of the apartment, he punctuated his departure: “Leave the lube.
|by Anonymous||reply 282||05/25/2021|
"Lindzebelle told her Orange Sweetie: We need alone time. Mar-a-Lago has too much activity. Let's escape, just us two, to a chalet in the Swiss Alps for a romantic adventure,"
|by Anonymous||reply 283||05/25/2021|
"Oh, this heat is just too MUCH!," Lindsey said. Nestor gulped, knowing what was next. "Perhaps we should shed some of this stuffy old, confining clothing and let our lithe Grecian bodies glisten in the moonlight. We're men, after all," he shouted forcefully into the night as he untied the silk robe his dear, departed Aunt Buzzy sold him on her last visit to Washington. Nestor gulped once more, having nothing else to say.
|by Anonymous||reply 284||05/25/2021|
What's this about wild chemsex parties? My oh my, I do think I'll buy a plane ticket to Bangkok
|by Anonymous||reply 285||05/25/2021|
"Ball-bellied proud boys, yum, yum, yum, hummed Lady Belle."
|by Anonymous||reply 286||05/25/2021|
"Evangeline!," he cried from the folds of his bed, calling out to his new housekeeper -- the twelfth this year (and it was still only February) -- "Bring me a pitcher of tomato (pronounced "tuhmahter") juice and place an enlivening beverage into the mix if you will. And be quick about it, hun. This girl had herself a NIGHT last night. My heavens, I've never seen so many male members make their way through one hole in all my life. By the time one had...concluded his business, I swear to you I didn't even have time to wipe my chin before the next contestant emerged. Of course, NORmally I don't indulge myself with such...abandon, you see, but you would be amazed by how HUNgry this girl gets when the sun goes down!" He chuckled to himself; then, sternly: "Evangeline! You lazy...Where is my morning pick-me-up; or do I have to get out of this bed, with my knees in such a sorrowful state, and come down there and get it myself!!" he called to the servant, who had quit his employ the day before.
|by Anonymous||reply 287||05/26/2021|
Lindsey spent five solid minutes breathlessly listing the number of things he would crawl over to get to Timothee Chalamet.
|by Anonymous||reply 288||05/26/2021|
"Fairy Godmother, I dream of a Mar-a-Lago wedding, she begged as she awoke."
|by Anonymous||reply 289||05/26/2021|
The Senatrice seemed quite pleased with herself as she sashayed through the halls of the Senate building on her way to her office. A sly smirk flashed across her face. She knew she had done something naughty. And no, she wasn't thinking about the bill she just killed on the Senate floor which would have provided badly needed benefits to widows and orphans. It was something far more sinister - and personal.
Continuing down the hall she was anxiously awaiting a text from her intern on whether the plan she'd put in motion had come to fruition. Then all of a sudden as if on cue:"Ding!" She'd received a text message. Glancing down at her phone, the Senatrice read to herself: "Sir, Nancy Pelosi just took her seat in the Congressional Cafeteria. She opened her carryout lunch container and shrieked when she saw the dead rat you placed there!"
The Senatrice quickly stuffed the phone in her pants pocket and sashayed even faster down the hall. She felt the smirk growing into a smile on her lips and it took everything within her to prevent herself from laughing out loud. Avoiding eye contact as she whisked past Senate colleagues in the crowded hallway. Finally making it to her office, she dashed inside, closed the door behind her and cackled uncontrollably.
|by Anonymous||reply 290||05/26/2021|
"She's on Fox so much or down in Mar-a-Lago, when does she get any work done?"
|by Anonymous||reply 291||05/27/2021|
"Her aunties influenced so much what she is today."
|by Anonymous||reply 292||05/27/2021|
"Turtle got all prepared, and imagine his emotional disappointment when Lady G said 'no, I have a headache'."
|by Anonymous||reply 293||05/27/2021|
Nestor made a comment about the Senator's weight. ICE agents slapped the cuffs on Nestor two hours later.
The Senator called the service. "Yes, bring me another one; I plan on being at home tonight. Wash him up and get him ready."
|by Anonymous||reply 294||05/27/2021|
“Henrietta , bring me the girdle,” demanded the senator in a haze, as he peered through the curtains at what could only be described as a palomino of a man. The senator’s flesh tingled everything so subtly.
|by Anonymous||reply 295||05/27/2021|
Nestor spoke frantically to the lead agent in the van. "Mira, mira! I know everything! The Senator. He's gay as shit! I know where he keeps his pom-poms!!"
The bag went over Nestor's head
|by Anonymous||reply 296||05/27/2021|
Lindsey squeezed himself into the tap shoes he'd just about begged mama for when he was 10, and the hot breath of stardom beckoned to him.
|by Anonymous||reply 297||05/27/2021|
"Leader Kevin, please come get 'GYM' now, cried Lady G. I am in pain. He made me remove my lingerie and he dressed me as a high school wrestler. I was subjected to head, face, shoulder stretches; leg-trap camel clutches, chin and arm locks, clawholds, vice grips, the mandible claw, the crossface, neck crank, the double chicken wing crossface, the scissored armbar, the fish hook, bear hugs, the front chancery, the backbreaker, the step-over toehold facelock, the stretch plum, sugar holds, head scissors, the bite the dragon, the sharpshooter, and octopus holds. After all that, he gave me a horrid tittie twister.
"When he comes out the bathroom, he said he has more moves. Hurry, I can't handle any more!"
|by Anonymous||reply 298||05/27/2021|
With one last toss of his head as he looked in the mirror, Lindsey said out loud, "Take that, Mr. Trump. Here comes the REAL Main Attraction!"
|by Anonymous||reply 299||05/28/2021|
"It is a tossup as to who is better between Ho Hix and Twinkletoes, uttered the Tangerine bully. Ho is a bonus for the pee pee, but Twinkletoes' techniques with the kink are awesome".
|by Anonymous||reply 300||05/28/2021|
That last gentleman caller was no gentleman, Lindsey remarked as he dotted the concealer under his black eye. Ugh, he sighed, thinking of the look Nancy Pelosi would give him in chambers and how he hated when that bitch was right. He did need to be more discerning of whom he let into his boudoir but he just couldn't resist the bad boy biker types.
|by Anonymous||reply 301||05/28/2021|
Lindsey wondered to herself "I'm not too old to play Maggie the Cat in a Broadway revival of Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, am I?"
|by Anonymous||reply 302||05/28/2021|
Lindsey smiled to himself. He could feel that little nubbin in his nether regions swelling to its full size of three inches.
|by Anonymous||reply 303||05/29/2021|
Miss Lindsey is all a flutter to be reviving her influence as a Senator. Sitting at her dressing table she puckers up as she leans toward the mirror to put on her ruby red lipstick and then she puts a big pink ribbon atop her head. She turns on the phonograph beside her dressing table as she stands in her full length school girl dress and begins to sing as she flits about the room as if performing towards her window.
"I've written a letter to Donny! His address is Mara Lago! I've written dear Donny we miss you and wish you were with us to troll! Instead of a stamp I'll put kisses, Moscow Mitch says thats best to do! I've written a letter to Donny saying, I love...
At this moment as she does a quick pirouette to the left she catches a glimpse of her reflection in the mirror. It stops her cold. It is as if she sees every wrinkle in her face for the first time and she suddenly feels old and haggard. She realizes that not only will she never be princess of the Senate, but she also realizes that Trump will never be president again. She runs to her bed, plops down face first and sobs profusely into her custom bamboo pillow!
|by Anonymous||reply 304||05/29/2021|
IOP, you need to synthesize all these storied components, then you may have a Pulitzer Prize in the new future.
|by Anonymous||reply 305||05/30/2021|
Standing ovation for r304
|by Anonymous||reply 306||05/30/2021|
[quote]...and sobs profusely into her custom bamboo pillow!
Michael Lindell, the MyPillow guy, would not be happy to hear Miss Lindzey is not using one of his pillows.
|by Anonymous||reply 307||05/30/2021|
"Miss Ladybugs' 🐞 goal: Her orange prince becomes the King of the Western World, and she his Queen, all anointed by Emperor Vladimir."
|by Anonymous||reply 308||05/30/2021|
Thanks R306! ;) R307 Initially I thought about saying "My Pillow" but decided against that since the GOP are notorious for their hypocrisy. They'll push shit off on the public but they only want the best for themselves.
|by Anonymous||reply 309||05/31/2021|
"Then, the Mistress to Mussolini of Mar-a-Lago sashayed onto the lanai."
|by Anonymous||reply 310||05/31/2021|
This gives a new meaning to a proud boy saying the phrase "My Old Lady".
|by Anonymous||reply 311||06/02/2021|
Why do we need a "pride month" - can't we have a "closeted and ashamed" month?
|by Anonymous||reply 312||06/02/2021|
"Pride Month!" the Senator hissed to himself as he hit the remote; the TV going black. "How foul can some people be; carrying on like that; and in PUBLIC. All those...men in the hot hot sun...aBANdoning all decorum like...kitty-cats in HEAT!" He reached for the intercom. "XOCHITL!", he cried to his latest housekeeper; her sixth day on the job (a record for the Graham household staff). "Bring me mama's robe and a verrry lively beverage, honey!" His voice was shaking. "Oh my goodness. I believe I am having one of my...spells..."
He turned the TV on again and dropped the intercom receiver as images once more filled the screen of well-dressed, smiling couples; men marching with baby-carriages and American flag lapel pins, stopping to smooch tastefully for the camera; not wanting to make the wrong impression to the American people watching at home. Removing his tie, the Senator fell to his knees, his moaning could be heard throughout the estate, and not for the first time. It got like that every year around this month.
"You sluts! Oh, you cum-guzzlers! You think you can spill your sensual secret to the world, just like THAT, and never be PUNished for it?!" His voice took on a throbbing, dramatic vibrato. "Well, you will never know a strength like mine. You hear me, sailor boys! No one will or ever has known my...my shameful secret!" He sobbed. Then he raised a defiant fist to the heavens (which, as always, threatened only the ceiling). "As God is my witness! I'll NEVER bring mama's organdy slip to Mar-a-Lago again!!"
Xochitl stood outside the Senator's study, stonefaced, bearing a tray of Maple Vodka Spritzers and a canary yellow chiffon robe; not knowing whether to knock, or to quit.
|by Anonymous||reply 313||06/02/2021|
" Lá Sénatrice confided to Jeanine following the interview: The Three Percenters, The Oath Keepers, Proud Boys, and the Texas Freedom Force are not my typical gentleman callers; but sometimes a sophisticated and refined lady enjoys the uncouth, manly sweat, stinky taint, scratchy beards, beerbellies, and dirty, crude talk to get her yearning, aching, wet poosie satisfied."
|by Anonymous||reply 314||06/02/2021|
|by Anonymous||reply 315||06/02/2021|
"The men were captivated!"
|by Anonymous||reply 316||06/04/2021|
Miss Lindsay walked away from the bathhouse, paused and lifted her sticky bath towel, and proclaimed, "As God is my witness, I shall never be horny again!"
|by Anonymous||reply 317||06/04/2021|
R317 Then Miss Lindsey casually looked around before quickly stuffing the sticky now pilfered towel covered in several men's semen into her duffle bag. She slowly stood up placed the bag's strap on her shoulder, put on her fedora and dark glasses with the attached fake nose and mustache, and threw her head high in the air as she sashayed out of the gay bathhouse!
|by Anonymous||reply 318||06/04/2021|
‘I like to be choked while getting fucked’
|by Anonymous||reply 319||06/04/2021|
Lindsey brushed her silky hair, eagerly anticipating the meeting she'd be having later with those West Point cadets
|by Anonymous||reply 320||06/04/2021|
"There are times when Lindzebelle starts consuming her evening drinkypoos too soon, and it takes two to three gentleman callers to carry her upstairs."
|by Anonymous||reply 321||06/04/2021|
"A vision of loveliness, that Lá Sénatrice."
|by Anonymous||reply 322||06/05/2021|
"I hate myself" (repeated 2000 times--an entire chapter)
|by Anonymous||reply 323||06/05/2021|
Since the day he had tearfully come out of the closet on Sean Hannity's show, all of America began to wish that Lindsey Graham would go back in. On the first day of the new Congress, Senators from every state stood agog, some unable even to fully blink, as the doors to the Senate Chamber opened and a piercing, ear-splitting, five-second "Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!" rang throughout the Capitol and the Sassiest Senator in the Whole U.S.A. (as he had now taken to calling himself) swwwoshed in on a cloud of sheer disbelief. Throwing his hands in the air, high above his head and looking up, as if trying to locate something on the ceiling, he posed briefly, like Liza; the better to give everyone: his colleagues, the visitors in the gallery, even those cutie-pie college boys they were growing these days to become Senate Pages, a good look at the peach-colored caftan with matching bracelets and a white-gold Ankh pendant he spent all weekend deciding upon. A wolf whistle from the gallery broke the brief spell and. laughing heartily, "Why thank you, sweetie!" he made his way to his desk. Once seated, Lindsey turned to Senator Collins from Maine and said, in a voice the entire chamber could heard, "Don't stand up and make any speeches today, hun. That suit is trash!"
A new era had begun.
|by Anonymous||reply 324||06/05/2021|
As Miss Lindsey sits in the crowded downtown DC restaurant with the two most powerful Republicans in Congress, she feels pleased to be the only feminine presence at the table. Moscow Mitch drones on and on about his plans to defeat the Democrats' pending legislation. Miss Lindsey knows she's at a business luncheon but she just can't stop ogling the beautiful (but surprisingly dumb) Kevin McCarthy who is chomping on his salad and doing everything possible to avoid eye contact with the Senatrice. Miss Lindsey smiles. She's not at all turned off by how dumb he is or how he chews like a horse with his mouth open. She goes into a trance as she ponders "I wonder what kind of shampoo he uses on those beautiful silver tresses."
Finally after being ignored by both men for over 15 minutes, Moscow Mitch sternly states: "Lindsey! LINDSEY! Would you please stop rubbing your foot on my leg!" A surprised Lindsey turns to Moscow Mitch and exclaims: "Oh I'm so sorry Mitch, I thought that was Kevvy Poo's leg!" She smiles and waves at the Congressman. A flushed and embarrassed McCarthy says: "Lindsey we've been through this before. You know I'm a married man and..." Lindsey cuts him off: "Well that's not what you said last night at the make shift glory hole in my office where you..." Kevin jumps in: "I wasn't with you last night!"
A confused Miss Lindsey pauses for a moment and then the light bulb goes off. She looks up at McCarthy in astonishment! "Oh no! Those damn interns! After they blind-folded me last night they told me it was YOU I was kneeling in front of! They must have used Chuck Grassley AGAIN!" The last time that old fool didn't even know what was happening. I gave those interns a stern talking to but I see it didn't take!"
The now angry Senatrice stands up in a huff and gathers all her belongings! "They think they can make a fool of me? Well, we'll see who gets the last laugh!" She growls. "Somebody is getting fired today!" She throws her head in the air and dramatically storms out of the restaurant!
|by Anonymous||reply 325||06/05/2021|
The Senatrice was so repulsive that even Kevin Spacey wouldn't touch that
|by Anonymous||reply 326||06/05/2021|
He couldn't recall ever feeling as feminine and flirty as that enchanted evening when he sauntered into the Inaugural Ballrom in his hand tailored grey pin striped suit and custom made white lace rumba panties underneath. Only he knew they were there. But he secretly imagined that by the end of the evening, someone else would see them, too.
|by Anonymous||reply 327||06/05/2021|
"Senator Paul, how do you feel about your session with Lá Sénatrice, asked a colleage?
|by Anonymous||reply 328||06/05/2021|
La Lindsey quivered with anticipation over the thought of Carol Channing's estate auction
|by Anonymous||reply 329||06/05/2021|
"Only a few cheap, tacky, twinkish rent boys have complained about my 🐞🐞🐞🐞🐞."
"Sophisticated gentleman callers show more class."
|by Anonymous||reply 330||Last Tuesday at 7:13 AM|
"My nipples tingled in Mar-a-Lago."
|by Anonymous||reply 331||Last Tuesday at 12:08 PM|
Lindsey had his own private coming out party by the pool at Mar-a-Lago early that morning after everyone had gone to bed. Dipping a toe in the ice cold water, he shivered inwardly as he unfastened the belt of his silk robe and let it fall to the ground, revealing a daring, too-skimpy-for-words hot pink swim suit. He'd had one of mama's old dresses -- the good one she would wear for Uncles Abner through Zeke on those long hot lonely weekends when Florence, his daddy, was away feeding drinks to the soldier boys at the VFW Hall -- modified and repurposed, somewhat, into this eye-catching swimming attire (he just couldn't bear to part with it).
Sensing someone behind him, undoubtedly sitting at attention and bearing him in mind, he smiled slyly to himself and stretched as if he, and not the dawn, were the crack of dawn itself. "My oh my!" he exclaimed, loud enough for his surprise companion to hear, "I believe watching my figure of late may cause this proVOCative pair of unmentionables to fall from my newly slendered hips!". He turned ever so delicately. Before him, slumped decadently in a beach chair, sat Nathan Moskowitz, the 375 pound energy drink monarch from Sarasota. They had been introduced by the lovely Melania the evening before and, while he did not normally accept the blandishments of men so...comprehensive in their waistlines, a little innocent flirtation never killed anyone, did it. He took a dainty step forward. "Ohhh, the scent of Spring is in the air, still. Isn't that so Mister Mos..."
He stopped. He stared.
As the sun rose over the disgusting resort, any fool born of mortal woman could see, and smell, that Mr. Moskowitz of Sarasota would not be returning the Senator's felicitations on this or any other morning, as he passed away several hours earlier.
|by Anonymous||reply 332||Last Tuesday at 9:19 PM|
Responding to a new gentleman caller, the G Lady retorted, "I do not have a zit on my clit; that sir, is my albino ladybug."
|by Anonymous||reply 333||Last Wednesday at 2:28 AM|
"Menz love my enticing and vibrant lollapalooza.".
|by Anonymous||reply 334||Last Thursday at 10:54 AM|
Normally Miss Lindsey would never have the courage to make such a purchase, but watching his masculine hero wearing a diaper lit a fire in her belly and she wanted to be brave too. So she sashayed up to the cashier and looked him dead in the eyes. “Don’t you snicker at me boy, and don’t go telling anyone or I’ll have my friends in the mob come and beat you, now ring up my Fleet enemas and make it quick, I’ve got a hot date with a Navy man tonight.”
|by Anonymous||reply 335||Last Thursday at 6:05 PM|
The two men stand in the crowded hallway of the Senate Office Building. Mitt Romney is explaining his views on infrastructure legislation to a captivated Lindsey Graham who is simply lost in the eyes of the Utah Senator. "I wonder what he looks like nekkid," Lindsey thinks to himself. Then all of a sudden it dawns on Lindsey "Uh oh, I've got the runs! Oh dear!"
Lindsey interrupts Romney: "Excuse me Mitty Poo but I have an urgent matter to attend to!" Lindsey turns and immediately begins to sashay quickly down the hall towards the men's room. She then hears Moscow Mitch McConnell in the background call out to her: "Lindsey! Lindsey!" As the Senate Minority Leader hurries to try to catch up, the Senatrice proceeds as if she doesn't hear her name being called. "Lindsey. Lindsey," Moscow Mitch continues to call out and give chase.
Lindsey rushes into the bathroom. She heads to the stall drops her pants and sits down. She is quite pleased with herself. "Oh thank goodness I made it. I did not want another mess like I had last week, the Senatrice murmurs to herself."
Moscow Mitch rushes in and heads straight for the stalls! "Lindsey where are you?" Moscow Mitch glances under the long row of stalls and sees that only the one at the far end of the room appears to be occupied. As he walks closer, to the stall he sees Lindsey's Black dress shoes, gray slacks and hot pink lace panties! Moscow Mitch stands in front of the stall and says: "Lindsey is that you? And why are you wearing panties?"
Lindsey replies: "No speaka dey Engless!" Stop it Lindsey. "I know it's you! I can hear your trying to hide your southern drawl under that fake Spanish accent. Besides, you're the only one in here. And those are your pants and shoes" says the Leader. "No speaka dey Engless! NO SPEAKA DEY ENGLESS" exclaims a nervous Lindsey.
At that moment a male staffer bursts into the restroom and rushes over to Moscow Mitch: "Sir! Sir, you're needed on the Senate Floor right now!" "OK. And I'Il deal with you later Lindsey," barks Moscow Mitch as he dashes out of the restroom with the staffer. Lindsey giggles: "Saved again! But hat was way too close for comfort." Feeling fully relieved now, the Senatrice stands, flushes the toilet, pulls up her panties and exits the stall!"
|by Anonymous||reply 336||Last Friday at 7:55 AM|
A staff member gently knocks on the Senator's office door, then walks in a few feet and says "sir, there is a group of older woman here from Charleston and I know you always take a moment to greet South Carolina visitors; shall I escort them in?" Marcus, replied the Sénatrice, "I just met with the DAR last week and I gave them a delightful tour of the Capitol building last week; why are they back so soon? Marcus explained, "these women are not a historical society group, they are here to demand abolishing all trans rights. They are radical feminist, lesbians, I believe". "That's fine", replied the Sénatrice, "ask them in.". "Senator, understand" Marcus elaborated, "one of their demands is that anyone who has a penis or ever had a penis, must be banished and severely punished if they are ever caught in ladies' clothing, including all types of dresses and lingerie."
The Sénatrice turned red faced, rose from her chair, stomped her foot, quickly pointed at the door, and yelled at Marcus: "get those damn, nasty bitches out of the building now; call security, get their names, and blacklist them from ever showing again!"
|by Anonymous||reply 337||Last Friday at 12:53 PM|
Lindsey paused, let the dog out, and continued to masturbate. Slowly, the room filled with the stench of dog diarrhea.
|by Anonymous||reply 338||Last Friday at 1:02 PM|