The Rudest Things You Can Do at the Grocery Store - Challenge Accepted!

Take a wine sample and then spit it back into the cup and hand it back.

R1 This happens when a customer expects all wine to taste like Kool Aid.

Ha! I like the idea of stealing things out of other people's carts. Now I'm going to do it.

Not restricting your farts to vacant aisles.

R4 yes! If you must fart in the grocery store find an empty aisle and release fart using the “crop duster” technique!

Someone standing behind you in line, inches away, while you are checking out and paying. You don't need to see my pin number....back up.

Moving down the aisle at a snail’s pace in one of those fucking electric scooters. I can’t tell you how long I’ve stood there, trapped, while the person blocking me takes half a day to decide between creamy and crunchy.

In self-checkout, no one stands that close.

I was at the express checkout and the woman in front of me was buying a broom. The lady behind me said “Oh look, it’s transportation for my mother-in-law”

R9 That is funny

I'm ashamed to say when I was around 10 years old I urinated on the toilet paper in the men's bathroom. I thought it was funny, like a movie. Now they have those big protective cases over the toilet paper that prevent that, as well as from people stealing the toilet paper.

I like to fart around people taking up the whole aisle.

Maybe just a little bit rude, but also a ton of fun: Shopping for Others!

This consists of discreetly placing items in other shoppers' carts when they're not looking.

The more embarrassing, the better. For instance: a box of tampons or feminine hygiene spray in a male bodybuilder's cart; horse "mane and tail" shampoo in a bald guy's cart; a rack of bloody ribs in a vegan's cart.

That really is step 1. Step 2 is to lurk near the register and see the reaction when the cashier goes to ring the item: "This isn't mine, really." "I don't want that."

It might be even more fun at self-checkout.

All credit to Mr. John Samuel Waters, Jr.

The one I've been guilty of is changing my mind about an item and putting it back on a shelf...usually not the right shelf.

This doesn't happen very often, but when it does, I don't feel too bad about it. It's not like I took the last of an item and hid it.

I make a doo doo in the toilet and then don’t flush it.

I was standing in line and behind me was a woman with two badly behaved kids. I'd had enough and asked her, "Are they yours or are they just rescues?"

She told me that was rude.

True story - and older woman, but not an OLD lady - asked me to get an item for her from the top shelf. She wasn't rude, but I thought to myself "Hmmm...I think she should have asked me in a better way than that!" Good naturedly, I got the item for her and she took it from my hand. No acknowledgement. Turned on her heel and started walking away. As she turned from her cart to select another item, I casually took the item I'd helped her with and placed it back from where I'd gotten it.

I think opening items, then closing them and putting them back on the shelf is totally rude. I see people do this all the time. I don't mean like egg cartons. I mean like jars of stuff that are supposed to be "sealed" and refrigerated after opening and other items that are not supposed to be opened until used.

Presenting hole in Aisle 3...everyone knows you do that in the MEAT department.

Opening and eating a food item as you shop. I used to see people with an opened bag of chips in the child seat munching away while shopping.

Ugh. I was in Trader Joe’s over the weekend and a dad came in with his two kids who he just let run amuck running and screaming through the store. I kept hoping that someone would mow them down with a shopping cart.

I was at Sam’s this weekend (yeah, yeah, I know) but I commented loudly at the line to have your receipt checked that I didn’t understand why they have to scan your shit again!!

They did it less than a minute ago!

These two idiots, waiting for god know what, said: “What a rude lady”. Fucking assholes!

Then, the useless employee standing there said, under her breath, “don’t come back”

Bitch, if I didn’t come back you would be out of a job. Fucking assholes.

Costco only counts the items in your cart but these assholes insist on re-scanning some of the stuff in your cart.

I sometimes put stuff back in random places but that’s it

Please...these are amateur. Go to Walmart.

Another bonus to retirement is shopping in the morning when all the mega assholes are at work making someone else's life miserable.

I put condoms in a big homo’s cart.

Pinch all the avocados to the point they're bruised and declare, "Oh, none of these will DO" and walk away, leaving them ruined for all others.

Poop in the dairy case!!??

Changing your mind about buying some meat and leaving on a shelf where there is no refrigeration as you can’t be bothered to walk all the way back to the meats section.

This looks like fun!

Using all your accumulated change from at least a couple years at check out. Then dropping a dime and saying oops, I have to get this, sorry. People behind you want to kill you.

Saturday night in a local, busy supermarket with only one check out line open (this is before self-checkout). Woman has large, two cartful order, which cashier has scanned and bagged. At this point, woman announces her kid needs to go to the bathroom immediately and leaves checkout aisle without paying for order to take kid to bathroom.

R16- Marry me.

I have the same impulse to put things back in the wrong aisles, but for some reason working in a grocery store in high school trained me out of it. I think I still feel solidarity with the poor bastards who have to go through the store before closing and play "Where's Waldo?" with random shit. Leaving refrigerated/frozen items in non-refrigerated/frozen aisles is the worst. It's kind of gross to clean up if it's been out all day. And I am not even close to a vegan, but leaving meat out to go bad is just extra shitty.

This thread is for the unemployed

R22, what's the sense of loudly commenting about something that you can't change?

[quote] Bitch, if I didn’t come back you would be out of a job.

Also, what's the sense of this? She's just doing her job.

I’m guilty of bread fondling.

I can’t help it.

I was trying to grab a bag of whole coffee beans so that I could coarse grind them in the store's grinder. I opened a bag of coffee and realized that I had grabbed a bag of ground coffee instead. No one was around, so I closed up the bag and put it back.

Of everything listed, I have only ever taken more items into a express lane or self check out, and it's never, like a full order. I've done where the limit was 10 or 15 and I had maybe 2 or 3 more items. The checkout people never seem to mind, they clearly don't want to ring a $300 order there but a few items over is OK. I think maybe once this old withered cunt yelled at me for bringing 12 items into a 10 item express and I told her it was probably the most exciting thing she'd done all day LOL.

R22 They actually rescan the entire order? How dumb.

I don't mind a quick cart check but scanning it again is just fucking ludicrous.

I wish you utter, abject misery, r39, every day for the rest of your life.

R41 You type fat

I left a sign in the bathroom to always light a match after poo pee doos.

Pleased to say that I don't do any of those things on the top 10 list. But then I'm a considerate person who thinks about how I affect other people in public spaces and on the road. An awful lot don't.

Also - who the fuck takes items out of other people's shopping trolleys! That's not on.

Last week I was in Trader Joe's and some frau had her cart blocking the produce aisle while she whiled away some time checking her Instagram feed, oblivious to everyone around her.

I said 'EXCUSE ME' and pushed past her to get citrus, and she gave me a dirty look.

Do your frau shit on your own time!

The list is miising pooping in the aisle.

R46 That’s a code brown in aisle 8.

Oh is THAT what that is R47! I'll be sure to avoid aisle 8...

Pooping In Stores....one of the best threads ever

Squeezing the Charmin!

Leave a doo doo next to the charmin.

See hilarious related thread

[quote]“Do not fondle the food, breads or fruits,” Smith added.

Fuck that shit.

I refuse to buy fruits and vegetables that neither feel nor smell like the breed standard. Nectarines should smell peachy and have a bit of juicy "give" when squeezed *very* lightly; tomatoes should smell like their vine; grapes, cherries, and blueberries should be firm, not mushy; pears should smell like pears. Melons should have give when pressed on the stem end.

I won't apologize or feel bad about it. If the grocery/market doesn't give enough shits about the quality of its produce to not put barely ripe or overripe items on their shelves, screw them.

I boldly ask a male clerk where the magnums are!

It's OK to touch the produce. That's how you shop for produce. I doubt any store worker in the produce section would scold you for that. No way.

Sorry, guys, but it's really BS to "put back" things on different shelves -- refrigerated or not. I have never worked in a grocery store before, but that's just uncool.

I used to start chowing down on food & drink while shopping (did pay for it at the checkout). I don't do that anymore.

My pet peeve is people not being blocking up the aisles. Push your cart close to the shelf if you want to stop and look at the selection.

People do this shit?! It’s so easy to be courteous.

I will admit to opening laundry detergent and sniffing it, especially new "eco-friendly" brands as I have no idea what their interpretation of "fresh scent" might mean.

R58 That's acceptable. It's like smelling candles before buying. Doing the same with strawberry milk, however, is frowned upon.

How is Greg not in this thread yet?

Peel and eat a banana and throw the peel into the garbage ( which you never see so you know that poster is just leaving it on a shelf) before you leave. Bonus points if you don't buy anything.

I like to peel corn and leave behind all the husks and shit in the aisle.

I always open up packages of meat before I purchase them - just to give ‘em the old sniff test.

I don’t like paying for the waste that I’m not going to use, so I remove stems from the shiitakes, outer leaves of the romaine, ends of string beans, and stems from vine-ripened tomatoes. And I take out that little bag from the inside of a chicken and just tuck it in with the bulk grains.

Woman standing in the express lane. When she finds out how much she owes, she searches through her cluttered purse to retrieve.....her checkbook. She takes her time writing the check, then hands it over to the cashier along with her driver's license. Then, after she gets the receipt, she takes more time reviewing it before filling out the amount in the checkbook.

[quote]I like to peel corn and leave behind all the husks and shit in the aisle.

Where I live, it's normal to shuck your corn in the store. They place huge trash bins on either side of the corn stand, and you just shuck away.

I don't see nothin wroooooong with doin a little shuck and jiiiive...

I like to put on the deodorant and then put it back. I don’t know what a trimmer is and I run a lot.

I had a casual job in a supermarket while a student and witnessed a customer trying out deodorants on himself. I told him he had to buy the ones he tried. Of course he refused.

Brick shithouse in the 10 items or less checkout with a cart piled high with groceries. When I asked him "how many items do you have in your cart", he replied "10 items for me, 10 for my wife, and 10 for each of my two kids". I responded "The sign says 10 items or less, not 10 items per . . . what I was thinking was person. But it came out asshole. Brick shithouse was on his way to crawling over the aforementioned wife/kids pursuant to beating the living fuck outta me, when I started screaming "Where's the store manager? The store manager needs to sort this out!". Luckily, someone in authority quickly appeared and politely escorted the asshole, family and overstuffed cart to another checkout line. And my life was spared.

R70 Did he mention your puny cocklet before throwing the first punch?

What, no one loudly comments and critiques other shoppers purchases?

Oh, honey, no Oreos for you! You've obviously had enough for one lifetime!

I once took 4 bags of potato chips out of some fat woman’s cart and told her she doesn’t need them. She farted on me and proceeded back to the chip aisle.

M A R Y!

Some places let you shuck corn. If not, then I'll shuck the top a little, to get a general idea...then close it if I don't want it.

I saw a kid squashing all the foil wrapped easter eggs and bashing the chocolate bunnies heads in

What about the obnoxious, pig-nosed teenaged girls who follow ten paces behind their mothers in the store, faces glued to their phones, and totally oblivious to their surroundings? They walk into carts, into shelves, and into MY way!

If they weren't so ugly and smelly, I'd be worried a pedophile would snatch them.

Ok, I'm gonna admit to finding this hilarious and you're all going to think I'm a cunt. I saw a dwarf woman bending over into a chest freezer to grab a bucket of ice cream. She was on tippy toes, then had to climb her way up and balance over the edge of the chest freezer to reach inside. She fell head -first into the freezer and then couldn't get out, feet and legs splaying. A supermarket worked went and helped her out while I fled to the next isle to laugh.

I hope they get in my way. They would learn an important lesson that their own parents neglected to teach them years ago.

[quote] while I fled to the next [bold] isle [/bold] to laugh.

Oh, dear! Not only are you cruel, but you are also stupid.

R78 I thought Weebles wobble, but they don't fall down!

Someone i know steals something every time they use self service, either by not scanning it or by putting fresh produce down as a cheaper item. She justifies this by saying the supermarket deserves it for being cheap and getting rid of staff by implementing self service.

You'll live r80. And you knew what I meant. And how do you know I didn't go to the next island and laugh?

Massaging the crotch of the cute bag boy on Register #3.

r73 never happened

R82 My mother works at a supermarket, and when she gets off work, she self-checks a bunch of groceries and inputs them all into the scale as bananas. She saves maybe eight bucks a day by scamming, and the produce department's computer printout shows they're selling a SHITLOAD more bananas than they actually have each week.

She's gonna get fired, but she doesn't seem to care. Women her age have to get their jollies in life somehow.

[quote] And you knew what I meant. And how do you know I didn't go to the next island and laugh?

You make a valid point. You may have gone to the next island.

What I do not forgive, however, is your excuse that I knew what you meant. Can you imagine telling your teacher that? Knowing what one means is only part of the story. If eye right like this, u know wat eye mean, but that doesnt mak it rite.

I was in a self-checkout once and this teenage girl kept putting my basket down on the floor as I was unloading it. The third time I grabbed her wrist and she yelped, and she said, "You need the basket on the floor! I work at a Kroger in Nebraska and so I KNOW FOR A FACT that you have the basket on the scale!!! It can't be on the scale!!!!!"

An employee came over and said, "Uh, that's not the scale, it's just a shelf" and she burst into tears. She was with some guys who were buying Yoo-Hoo and they didn't even seem to notice this was happening about 10 inches away from them.

This entire thread is full of LOSERS!

[quote]What, no one loudly comments and critiques other shoppers purchases?

R72, the writer of that article should do a spinoff called "Things Checkout Clerks Should NEVER Do."

#1. Make no comments on the shopper's basket. If I never see another curled lip, or nor hear . . . .

Clerk: "Ugh, whas' dat?"

Me, sighing: "It's an artichoke."

Clerk: "You eat dat?"

Me: "Yes."

Clerk: "How you make it? It's good?"

Me: "Either steam the leaves, boil them, or grill them. Serve with lemon, garlic, and butter. Yes, it's good."

Rinse and repeat for jackfruit, asparagus (?!), yucca, lamb, star fruit, bok choy, horseradish,.....

. . . again, will be too soon.

Clerk [inspecting prunes]: "Whas' dat?"

Me [sighing]: "Prunes"

Clerk [looking skeptical]: "You eat dat?"

Me [sighing some more]: "Yes."

Clerk: "How you make it? It's good?"

Me [perking up]: "They are best served with cod loin and tomato sauce."

Clerk [looking terrified}: "D'fuq?"

Me [looking superior]: "Yes, poached cod loin in tomato sauce with prunes. It's delicious."

Clerk [looking like she despises me]: "Like I said, d'fuq man! That shit's nasty!"

I live in a college town so every August we get new grocery store employees, and the produce checkout is always an adventure.

Sometimes it's tragicomic though, like if they ask what an apple or an onion is.

I ask where the halvah is, just to remind them I’m not a native of flyoverville.

We know Greg goes into Wholey's and asks them if they have any fish he can stick up his ass.

[quote] We know Greg goes into Wholey's and asks them if they have any fish he can stick up his ass.

Not just [bold] ANY [/bold] fish, R94, cod loin.

[QUOte]We know Greg goes into Wholey's and asks them if they have any fish he can stick up his ass.

Did Greg move to Pittsburgh? Or is there a Wholey's Fish Market in Boston?

There is no such market in Boston called Wholey's.

R97 There IS a business in Boston called Wholey's, but they only sell two-for-one cosmopolitans and condoms out of a dispenser in the men's room, if you catch my meaning.

Queefing by the peaches

I wonder why someone suggested Wholey's, which is a fish market (though not the best), in Pittsburgh. I'm sure if Greg lived in Pittsburgh, he'd shop at Penn Avenue Fish Company, not Wholey's (which is pronounced "wooly's" btw).

When I worked in a supermarket, we used the dairy case as the designated fart locker. It's on mildly positive pressure, so when a customer opens one of the doors to remove product, they get a faint "whoosh" of air in the face.

We sure got a lot of complaints about the dairy case smelling rotten. No idea why!

R101, you and your supermarket colleagues sound like degenerates.

Wholey's was said because it was an understanding a certain DL troll is located there.....known by many names

Don’t tease us, R103! Who is this many-named poster?

People who don't pay cash or have a credit card, will wait until everything is rung up to fumble for their check book in handbag. Then write date, name of store and amount while the line gets longer.

I don't believe DeFatso lives in Pittsburgh. And I'm even more sure Greg is not DeFatso.

Eat my asshole please

The only rude thing I do is not let people cut in front of me. But on the other hand I always decline when someone offers to let me go ahead of them. People need to wait their turn.

[quote] Eat my asshole please

That must be a Sav A Lot grocery store

[quote] I don't believe DeFatso lives in Pittsburgh. And I'm even more sure Greg is not DeFatso.

That’s right, R106. I am not DeFacto and I’ve never been to Pittsburgh. I live in Boston and Cape Cod.

That guy who is obsessed with me (and with DeFacto) is a total lunatic and a huge asshole.

This is a funny thread.

I am not the person who initially said Greg and Defacto are the same person. Just heard it repeated so many times, and lord knows there are lots of sock puppets on this site.

[quote] I am not the person who initially said Greg and Defacto are the same person. Just heard it repeated so many times, and lord knows there are lots of sock puppets on this site.

Well I’m not DeFacto. The guy spreading that is mentally ill.

As opposed to someone who serves prunes with cod?

Girls! Girls! You're all cunts!

[quote] As opposed to someone who serves prunes with cod?

Yes, R114, as opposed to someone who serves prunes with cod. Are you that stupid?

r112, the only person who says "DeFacto is a guy named Matt from Pittsburgh" is Bootsy Gumdrop, and I believe they're simply making it up. They may be confused, but I think they're doing it on purpose, because they think it's funny or something.

DeFacto and their various sock puppets are Davida, she's screwed up a few times and used a DeFacto account to rant about George Clooney, so she's basically given herself away.

What on earth is a Bootsy Gumdrop?

I don't a single fuck about Davida or who DeFatso might REALLY be. It seems some of you come here for the express purpose of troll and sockpuppet shrieking. What you may not realize is that you're more of a bore, and sometimes a boor, than the people you're shrieking about.

Greg is Greg.

DeFatso is DeFatso.

Neither of them lives in Pittsburgh.

I don't know Matt or Davida. I have never run into either of them. They exist only when their shriekers shriek.

[quote]I don't a single fuck

Eloquent.

R118 It shows up in your toilet the morning after you eat stinky fish and prunes. Idiot.

Seriously though, no one is going to believe anyone who says they've never seen Davida post, when she's been trolling on here for 20 years, or that you've never seen Matt A., the "cracker breeder goyim" guy, who is arguably even more infamous than Davida.

They're especially not going to believe it if you show up at the EXACT SAME TIME as Greg, and say something like "Greg is real but Davida isn't."

Look, someone either got confused and doubled down on wrong information, or they decided it would be funny to misdirect people and made up the idea of a guy named Matt from Pittsburgh as being behind some of our more notable trolling. It's just not true. If saying so upsets you to the point that you're about to stroke out, I suggest you learn how to use the ignore function.

Well, you can eat your Matt and Davida cookies, r122. I must already have those on ignore. All I know about Matt is that picture with the hair that you shriekers post. And Davida exists as another shriek object.

Someone called me Davida about a month ago. Then someone else got called Davida, maybe by the same person, two nights later. I know I'm not Davida. I don't know if the other accusee was, either. Some of you just like to shriek and call people names. That's all I'm left with.

But do go on insisting...on whatever it is you're insisting.

The last 20 posts or so really derailed this thread. What the hell are you people talking about?

Yinz can all go to Wholey's and stick a live lobster up your assholes.

[quote] [R118] It shows up in your toilet the morning after you eat stinky fish and prunes. Idiot.

Hey, R121, why don’t you do a little shutting up?

R123, you posted multiple times about Greg, DeFacto, and the trolls not really living in Pittsburgh long before I even showed up in this thread, so I don't even know why you're yelling at me. We're saying the same thing.

I don't know what you're talking about with you being accused or the "picture with the hair." Don't yell at me for things others did.

[quote] Yinz can all go to Wholey's and stick a live lobster up your assholes.

Just the one, dear?

[quote]I don't know what you're talking about with you being accused or the "picture with the hair."

There's a pic of some guy who looks like he stuck his finger in a light socket. His hair kind of goes all over the place. It has been said that this is a pic of Matt. I don't know who he is other than that he is said to be Jewish. His shriekers can give you the complete rundown on Matt.

[quote] There's a pic of some guy who looks like he stuck his finger in a light socket. His hair kind of goes all over the place

Which is why I refer to him as the Unfuckable Muppet.

Okay, girls. Leave poor Greg alone.

Poor Greg?

If he wants to be left alone, he shouldn’t be such a flaming asshole.

[quote] Poor Greg? If he wants to be left alone, he shouldn’t be such a flaming asshole.

And just do you reckon I’m a flaming asshole!

You are rude.

It's sad that I can't tell if R64 is joking or being serious. If he's being serious he needs to be punched in the face repeatedly.

Greg calling someone else rude is the ultimate in lack of self awareness

[quote] It's sad that I can't tell if [R64] is joking or being serious. If he's being serious he needs to be punched in the face repeatedly.

R134, I was serious as a heart attack. What is so bad in your opinion? The chicken organ meat being buried in the bulk grains?

[quote] Greg calling someone else rude is the ultimate in lack of self awareness

So says you, R135. Why are you so hostile at this time of day?

Calling me a flaming asshole is what’s rude.

You should shut your yap.

Oh, poor little narcissistic Greg.

Maybe we’ll get another of his famous meltdowns. They’re always entertaining.

[quote] Oh, poor little narcissistic Greg. Maybe we’ll get another of his famous meltdowns. They’re always entertaining.

I have no idea what you're talking about, R138.

Does anyone else? Apparently my meltdowns are famous! How exciting! I hope to hear more. I love fame and as you know, I love attention, so this comes as good news!

Please, everyone, let me know if you like my famous meltdowns and find them as entertaining as R138.

xo

I hate supermarket shopping, and I haven't been in one in years. We actually hired a girl a few years back, so she does the marketing for us. Alternatively we will have out groceries delivered.

......

I would add "taking a dump in the aisle."

This is America, after all.

Where do they shit R66?

When Gelsons doesn’t hav fresh potoe salad an Latte, This is Hollywood dolls!

[quote] Does anyone else? Apparently my meltdowns are famous! How exciting! I hope to hear more. I love fame and as you know, I love attention, so this comes as good news!

And it starts.

Pass the popcorn.

There should be a thread on rude or bizarre grocery store employees too.

[quote] Pass the popcorn.

R145, I have the best recipe for making the most delicious popcorn you've ever had.

[quote] And it starts.

And he wonders why people cast a suspicious eye his/her/its way

Oh, and I make my own Jujubes using pomegranate, huckleberries, black raspberries, pineapple, green apple, lemon, and Persian lime. They are SO delicious!

I ask where the Low Fat Fig Newtons are, and specifically state I need those because I’m not fat.

[quote] And he wonders why people cast a suspicious eye his/her/its way

Do I? Do I wonder? I don't think I do.

And I really don't appreciate you saying his/her/its way. Don't be such a dumb little bitch. I am a man and I don't happen to spend my time wondering if people cast a suspicious eye my way.

Do people cast a suspicious eye my way? I frankly don't care. The people who do are the annoying DL losers who like to tear people apart because they themselves have mental illness, are jealous, or can't stand to see someone who is confident and happy.

So, this is of no concern to me, but thanks just the same!

[quote] Okay, girls. Leave poor Greg alone.

Wow. Reduced to sockpuppeting to try to defend his poor widdle feeling.

Except he forgot to switch accounts.

What a twit.

Ugh, I thought I blocked Greg during his last Thanksgiving Meltdown. But he has multiple accounts?

The unemployed can be so creative!

I went up to a woman who wasn't paying attention to her kid standing up in the back of the grocery cart and trying to get out. I said, "Excuse me miss, I had a dear friend whose child fell out of the grocery cart. And then he died." She was horrified.

[quote]It's sad that I can't tell if [[R64]] is joking or being serious. If he's being serious he needs to be punched in the face repeatedly.

[quote][R134], I was serious as a heart attack. What is so bad in your opinion? The chicken organ meat being buried in the bulk grains?

Y'know, Greg, I've always supported you - but then I did an ignoredar to see who the obnoxious and obvious troll r64 and r136 was, and lo and behold! It's you, the authenticated Greg02116.

[quote]Okay, girls. Leave poor Greg alone.

r152 is right. You're also r131, pretending to be someone else, unless you've also taken to referring to yourself in the 3rd person.

You can't hide from ignoredar - well, you can, but you forgot to. Hubris will get you every time. You are well and truly busted.

Do you have any defense, you burier of chicken organ meats in the bulk grain bin?

Enough with the Greg shit! FFS!!

[quote] Ugh, I thought I blocked Greg during his last Thanksgiving Meltdown. But he has multiple accounts? The unemployed can be so creative!

Thanksgiving meltdown? Please remind us what that was! I don't believe I posted anything around Thanksgiving.

Okay, Stargazer. You are absolutely right. I am DeFacto and every other person that some of you hope I am.

[quote] Enough with the Greg shit! FFS!!

Oh, come on R156. We're just beginning!

Spit it out, Greg! (the popcorn recipe)

[quote]Okay, Stargazer. You are absolutely right. I am DeFacto and every other person that some of you hope I am.

I never said you were DeFacto, Greg/r158. The only posters I have ever accused you of being are the trolls [R64] r131 and [R136] in this thread - and you are. You can't deny that to anyone who knows how to use ignoredar. I have no idea if you are other trolls as well, but I know for sure that you are a troll *in this thread*.

I had ALWAYS defended you elsewhere right up until now. I was genuinely surprised to discover that you were a troll. Are you seriously going to lie and say you didn't author this troll post, at r64?

[quote]I don’t like paying for the waste that I’m not going to use, so I remove stems from the shiitakes, outer leaves of the romaine, ends of string beans, and stems from vine-ripened tomatoes. And I take out that little bag from the inside of a chicken and just tuck it in with the bulk grains.

You're a troll, Greg, and now it's provably so.

I'm out.

Just looked back, R153 - and no Thanksgiving meltdown. Not even a post about my Thanksgiving this year. Sowwy!

R161

I crush or defile one Goya item each visit.

[quote] I hate supermarket shopping, and I haven't been in one in years. We actually hired a girl a few years back

How old is she, 9?

[quote]I crush or defile one Goya item each visit.

Thank you for your civic duty, r164.

One last thing, Greg/r163. I can be found on your "braised carrot" thread, thanking you for the recipe, having a civil conversation. Now you're trying to mock me all because I called you out for trolling on this thread - and you used a tired old meme that you couldn't even post properly.

Shame on ya! I was a supporter of yours, but now I know better. I know you're a troll and you know you're a troll. At least we'll always have the braised carrot thread.

Now I'm really out. You've proven unworthy of my time.

Who the fuck gives a flying shit about some schmuck named Greg. I sure don't.

WTF has happened to DL? It's never been this insane. It was always been an anonymous forum save for a few interesting informative posters such as Magdalene, the S&M dominatrix, who dealt with famous performers. Her rockstar stories were great! Most were proven to be true.

It's now getting ridiculous here, with these lame newbie posters garnering their own little fan clubs, based on nothing.

None of these posters who need to have a following here are interesting in the least.

I too was shocked to find it was Greg who posted "I remove stems from the shiitakes, outer leaves of the romaine, ends of string beans, and stems from vine-ripened tomatoes. And I take out that little bag from the inside of a chicken and just tuck it in with the bulk grains."

Greg, you might as well be DeFatso.

Stargazer, you need to loosen up a bit. I’ve been mocked, ridiculed, insulted, and bullied on here, and I’m fine. Are you really undone by this? I’ve been nothing but nice to you.

Do keep trying those braised carrots. They’re wonderful!

Peace!

[quote] Greg, you might as well be DeFatso.

Yeah, but I’m not. And I stand behind all the delicious recipes and housekeeping tips I’ve shared on here.

[quote] Who the fuck gives a flying shit about some schmuck named Greg. I sure don't.

Okay, R167. Is there anything else?

Oh, and I’m hardly a newbie. I’ve been a paying member since the 90s!

I'm the act of ramming my cart into someone because they're looking at the produce and they want to push their cart through you instead of around you. I'm performed by some old housewife bitch that has never done anything but conceived children.

[quote] I'm performed by some old housewife bitch that has never done anything but conceived children.

One can also assume that said housewife also gave birth to those children.

“performed?”

Way to miss the point yet again, dipshit

R175, what an angry little guy you are!

And your comment about “some old housewife bitch” is pretty offensive. Was your mother an old housewife bitch or just your grandmother? Classless.

Still waiting on the popcorn instructions….

[quote] what an angry little guy you are!

And what a vapid little twit you are, posting constantly with nothing to say.

How many of you bring your own reusable bags to the store?

[quote]How many of you bring your own reusable bags to the store?

I do, 90% of the time, but I live in an urban area and tend to shop more frequently than most. It isn't always practical for people who shop less often but have to buy more.

The only thing I'm guilty of in your original question is that occasionally, I will change my mind about something I no longer want and will put it on a shelf. Never perishables, though, and I don't recall the last time I did it.

A distant relative of mine would take large salad dressing containers and sample all the soup from the hot bar, never purchasing any. I always found that to be a bit uncouth, to treat a local grocery store like a Costco, but I figured it might be because he was from a different country. Like a normal American I steal my food and eat it at home.

[quote] And what a vapid little twit you are, posting constantly with nothing to say.

The truth is, I’ve got plenty to say. You just aren’t a very good reader. You like to be unkind. And mean. It’s unfortunate.

Joan not getting you a Red Weirdo:

R184 Love how the filmstrip is sponsored by "The Food Industry," whatever the hell that is.

Lucille was so magically full of shit. White gloves to the supermarket, buying "tom-ah-toes" and "lobstah" to make her Spanish Paella dinner. The old tramp grew up scrubbing floors in Oklahoma and Kansas City, and saw more than her share of canned hams before the age of 12.

Eat the person in front of you in the checkout line, because you’re way too hungry to wait to get your own groceries back at home.

Squeeze the Charmin.

Who the fuck is Greg and why are people posting about this dude in a thread about morons who do crazy shit in supermarkets?

DL has sure turned into a cesspool.

My trips to the supermarket have become so few and far between due to delivery that I feel like an alien now when I occasionally go into one.

I'm never going shopping with you guys.

[quote] Who the fuck is Greg and why are people posting about this dude in a thread about morons who do crazy shit in supermarkets? DL has sure turned into a cesspool.

I agree with you, R188. I attract some crazy people.

[quote] I attract some crazy people.

The common denominator in these interactions is you.

[quote] The common denominator in these interactions is you.

Yes, thank you for pointing out the obvious. When I say that I attract some crazy people, of course I’m the common denominator.

Flowers attract bees and the flower is the common denominator.

I’m not sure I get your point.

[quote] and you used a tired old meme that you couldn't even post properly.

That’s rich! I’m trying to mock you? No, I’m not. You’d know it if I were. You are the one who is calling me a troll! Do you see what your role is here, Stargazer? I’ve never said one unkind word to you, yet I’ma troll. And you accuse me of using a tired old meme that I couldn’t even post properly (whatever that means - it looks fine to me).

I will let you continue grasping at those straws and I’ll try to do better with my meme posting. And you - well you should try to recollect yourself and not get so wrapped up in these matters. It can’t be good for your health.

Do you ever roast beets?

Oh! R168 has been instrumental in my starting this day with a smile!

[quote] I too was shocked to find it was Greg who posted "I remove stems from the shiitakes, outer leaves of the romaine, ends of string beans, and stems from vine-ripened tomatoes. And I take out that little bag from the inside of a chicken and just tuck it in with the bulk grains."

He was [bold] shocked! [/bold] I can just see him clutching his pearls. Shocked is such a great word when it is used in this context. I was shocked when I watched passenger planes fly into the World Trade Center. That was pretty shocking.

Apparently R168 had a similar reaction reading about the in-store removal of shiitake stems.

It must be hard to live in what must be a near-constant state of shock. I feel for this guy.

Apparently this subject responds to criticism by becoming extremely verbose and bombastic

…and boring. What a common troll.

[quote] What a common troll.

I may be a troll (but I'm not), but I am not common!

The very idea!

Dance, monkey, dance

[quote]I hate supermarket shopping, and I haven't been in one in years. We actually hired a girl a few years back.

I had acquaintances in Texas who had a full-time "house manager," who handled all the unsavory tasks related to running a 12,000 square foot house and feeding its occupants.

A few years ago, when Blue Bell ice cream reappeared on grocery store shelves after a long, listeria-related shutdown, the mistress of the house dispatched the "house manager" to the local HEB at 6 am to grab a few half-gallons of Cookies 'n Cream.

[quote] Dance, monkey, dance

Precisely, R199. All I have to do is post something nice and helpful and all the DL trained monkeys react. It’s really something!

What a delusional, narcissistic buffoon

[quote]And your comment about “some old housewife bitch” is pretty offensive. Was your mother an old housewife bitch or just your grandmother? Classless.

No my family works. We don't get impregnated for a living.

To be fair, Blue Bell's Cookies and Cream is indeed a delight for the ages.

But it can wait until daylight.

The parking the cart sideways and standing in the only open space so no one can get by happens all the time at one of the grocery stores I frequent. People have just become completely oblivious to their surroundings. I always say excuse me but can you move your cart so I can get by? Most apologize and move it, but some glare at you or say just a minute, I'm not done. When that happens, I move their cart myself.

[quote] What a delusional, narcissistic buffoon

You sound so sexy when you talk like that, R202!

Try my Chicken Tinga!

And it has this strange need to always respond.

I feel like Pavlov. Just watch, it’ll have to answer this. It can’t help itself.

No, it can’t, R207.

Why are you so unhappy? Happy people don’t take pleasure in being unkind to others?

It doesn’t really mind and it loses no sleep over these comments but it is really interested in how mean so many people are.

Yeah, sure, it’s a concern troll now

It's a sociopath.

R209 / R210 sounds like a Cole Porter song.

[quote] Who the fuck gives a flying shit about some schmuck named Greg. I sure don't. WTF has happened to DL? It's never been this insane.

With respect, all the Keram Malicki Sanchez, Noodles, and G/R/Umpy shit was 1000 times worse than anything that happens these days. Back then, the entire board would be taken over by those trolls pretending to be their own fan clubs and/or enemies. What happened in this thread was NOTHING compared to that.

Seriously, R212. Just because I posted something and forgot to use my signature, all bell breaks loose.

Was my post re removing shiitake stems and the little chicken bag amusing? You bet your life it was. I find it interesting how passionate people out here get. It’s funny.

But not as funny as R64 and R136!

Some of you guys need to get a life.

**All hell breaks loose.

Remember that time I removed all the shiitake stems before placing my mushrooms in the plastic bag? Now THAT was funny!

[quote]Seriously, [R212]. Just because I posted something and forgot to use my signature, all [hell] breaks loose.

[quote]Okay, girls. Leave poor Greg alone

Remember when you forgot to sign this one at r131, Greg?

Yes! R216! I do remember that since it was just this past week.

And do you think those dumb girls left poor little old me alone?

No. No they did not. But I’ve risen above it and have taken the high road. When they go low, I go high.

Be best!

How do classy old queens handle the burly MAGA hat dads who work the meat counter at the supermarket?

By offering to suck their cocks R218. Duh.

R219 Who'd want it? Those guys smell like raw meat, and their cum probably tastes like an ashtray!

[quote]”Excuse me miss, I had a dear friend whose child fell out of the grocery cart. And then he died."

Who died? Your dear friend or the child?

What about the Karens who crowd the luncheon meat counter to order stack after stack of sliced meats - a quarter-pound of each.

Five slices of roast turkey (the cracked-pepper one, not the honey-roasted!)

Five slices of Virginia ham, sliced thick

Eight slices of Vermont white cheddar

Seven and a half slices of pepper jack

R222 please. True Karen's buy Kraft singles

I was behind someone like that, R222. She was rude, too: "Give me a half a pound of ___." Her tone was OK, it's just Americans, how they talk. (I'm American but think it's rude to tell someone to "give me" something.) Meanwhile, people are waiting in line.

That said, I think it's OK to order a half-pound or quarter-pound of deli stuff. Not everybody needs a full pound or more of whatever.

R223 R224 Fine! How about a revised Karen: The woman who demands to inspect the thickness of her luncheon meat before it is sliced. They're so pervasive at many stores that now the cutter asks all customers by default. "How thick do you want it, according to this chart?"

Pally, I like my meat thicker than anything on your little chart, but let's cut the bull and just slice the goddamned turkey!

[quote]The woman who demands to inspect the thickness of her luncheon meat before it is sliced.

Isn’t it just one giant slab before it’s sliced?

R226, the first slice. Many deli workers will give the customer the first slice to inspect.

Deli cutters do that regardless of whether or not you care, at least at my grocery store. Karens aren't demanding it.

The most annoying shit I see is when lazy assholes want someone's parking spot and hold up a whole line of cars waiting for the other car to leave. Espeically shitty when there's a parking space a few places down. Walking slightly further is not going to kill you.

People who wait until the clerk is halfway through bagging the order before saying "Actually, I wanted paper bags!"

Working in supermarkets, I always found it frustrating that the ideal customer for paper bags - fit youngish people who could fit their modest order into a single paper sack - never asked for paper. But the fussy old fucks buying $300 in canned goods and porno mags? They always want paper. But you can't put more than a few canned goods into a paper bag, especially not for an elderly customer, so they end up with a dozen half-filled paper sacks and may need a second cart. Jackasses.

Back into a parking space. Rudeness!

BUMP

The worst thing I’ve experienced was some stupid Italian or Portuguese housewife, probably in her 60’s who didn’t want to say excuse me so she decided to just ram her cart into me instead. I didn’t even see her because I was looking at produce. I guess I was in her precious way.

Did you bitch slap her with an eggplant or a bunch of celery stalks?

No I ignored her because I would get in shit for retaliating because I’m male and she’s an old cunt.