Have you ever braised carrots? They are AMAZING!

This does not warrant its own thread. Stop being an attention whore and using DL as your personal blog.

[quote] This does not warrant its own thread. Stop being an attention whore and using DL as your personal blog.

1. This certainly does warrant its own thread.

2. I don't recall asking for your opinion.

3. I will not stop being an attention whore and using DL as I see fit.

4. Lots of people appreciate a change from the usual claptrap that is on this site.

5. You really should try making these carrots. You'll love them.

6. Please come to my "Greg 2023 DL Live" session that will be coming up.

Yum. Cut the time in half, use baby carrots. No cheese at the end. Doesn't work with sweet. Use half tablespoon of Western Massachusetts maple syrup instead of the sugar. Rub lotion on Greg's nipples.

Thyme literally tastes like dirt.

With all due respect, R3, here's what I think about what you said:

1. If by "baby carrots" you mean those small rounded edge carrots sold in bags, I really don't like them at all. They are not baby carrots, but rather "baby cuts." They take regular adult carrots and a machine cuts them into 2-inch pieces. Then another machine spins them around, both peeling them and rounding off their edges (this part is called "polishing." I adore real baby carrots, but you don't seem them much in grocery stores. They are often seen in nice restaurants and are slender, long, and have green tops.

2. You certainly can leave off the grated cheese. However, I don't agree with you saying it doesn't work with sweet. First of all, these carrots should have a sweetness from the carrot itself, not so much the sugar. The sugar is there to help glaze the carrots and to encourage caramelization. The lovely and subtle sweetness is complimented by the nutty saltiness of the Parmigiano Reggiano. I like it, but you may not. I sometimes forgo the cheese.

3. The addition of maple syrup changes this altogether. I can understand that the addition of maple syrup might be good, but it's not what I'm after here. I want the carrot taste to be concentrated and unmasked. As I said above, the small amount of sugar is there to help the carrots glaze and caramelize. Here's what Marcella has to say about this method:

[quote] I know of no other preparation in the Italian repertory, or in other cuisines for that matter, more successful than this one in freeing the rich flavor that is locked inside the carrot."

And she's right, the flavor is concentrated and delicious. Give it a try.

[quote] Thyme literally tastes like dirt.

No, it does not.

I've tried this before & I think it works better with fresh carrots; generally speaking, the carrots at the grocery store are as hard as rocks

R7, if one is fortunate enough to have homegrown carrots, they would be lovely. I imagine most people do not have this option.

Greg, you didn’t address all of R3.

Also, I get a kick out of your posts and in spite of your obvious love of food and cooking, you don’t type fat.

I’m going to try the braised carrots this weekend; thank you!

So starved. So needy.

[quote] Greg, you didn’t address all of [R3]. Also, I get a kick out of your posts and in spite of your obvious love of food and cooking, you don’t type fat. I’m going to try the braised carrots this weekend; thank you!

Hey, WallflowerReloaded, you are right—I chose not to respond to R3's fourth suggestion!

I'm glad you are enjoying my posts and I'm relieved to hear that I don't type fat. People love to imagine that I'm fat. Truly, I prefer cooking to eating. I'm happy to hear that you will try making these carrots. Please report back and tell us if you liked them.

Thank you!

I don't engage with people who use the word "amazing" to describe food.

[quote] So starved. So needy.

R10: So inconsequential. So jealous.

[quote] Some asshole ([R126]) on an earlier posting of mine

Ooooh the Martha Stewart facade is crumbling and the claws come out....HISS!! HISSSSSSSS!

[quote] I don't engage with people who use the word "amazing" to describe food.

Well that's funny, because here you are, engaging with someone who uses the word "amazing" to describe food. How do you figure that?

Let me give you some advice, R12. If you are serious about not engaging with people who use the word "amazing" to describe food, then you might think about shutting up and not engaging with someone who uses the word "amazing" to describe food. Does this make sense?

I am happy to engage with you all you like. But, if you wish to be taken seriously, then don't make such erroneous claims.

In a nutshell, you DO engage with people who use the word "amazing" to describe food.

[quote] Ooooh the Martha Stewart facade is crumbling and the claws come out....HISS!! HISSSSSSSS!

That's amusing. A Martha Stewart facade! Never my intention, but okay. I like her enough.

**Sigh** OK, Greggo. I will try your carrots with sugar and cheese. Warning: my partner lives in Lynn, MA. He's big, has a thick Northshore accent, and will have a problem if they don't turn out well.

[quote] **Sigh** OK, Greggo. I will try your carrots with sugar and cheese. Warning: my partner lives in Lynn, MA. He's big, has a thick Northshore accent, and will have a problem if they don't turn out well.

Okay, R3, l'm glad you will give these a try. Please don't use those nubby little baby cut carrots. They look so trashy on a dinner plate. And be sure you use real Parmigiano Reggiano and not some grated cheese that comes in a green can. The tablespoon of sugar should be a scant tablespoon. You might even try just 2 teaspoons of sugar. Fresh thyme is important, too.

Your partner lives in Lynn, so there is very little chance of my running into him. That said, I'm sure he will love these carrots. He may even say that they're "wicked good."

DataLounge is turning into Ladies' Home Journal.

[quote] DataLounge is turning into Ladies' Home Journal.

I wouldn't know. But I doubt that Ladies' Home Journal has features such as [bold] "Do you like being fingered?" [/bold] or [bold] "I'm ERECT—Why aren't you?" [/bold]

Yes, I've made glazed carrots before. Holiday staple.

OP is so petty and catty. Thin-skinned, attention starved and tedious.

[quote] OP is so petty and catty. Thin-skinned, attention starved and tedious.

That's right, R22. I am all that. Thank you for paying attention to me. Do you think you might make these carrots?

I'll be trying this today, also, though I confess that I'm leaning towards the maple substitution. The only sugar I have is ginger infused, which might actually work.

I have fresh thyme and a decent parmesan. May use asiago, instead.

Okay, R24. If you use maple syrup you are making something else...syrupy, sweet, sticky carrots. Obviously, you should do what you like. But I wish you'd try these carrots. Let the taste of the carrot take center stage!

And be sure not to add the salt or sweetener until after the water evaporates the first time. This will take about an hour. Then add a little salt, some sugar, and 2 to 4 Tablespoons of water. In the end, you don't want any liquid in the pan. You want the carrots tender, beautifully glossy, and slightly caramelized.

I have not consumed braised carrots, Greg. Sounds tasty and easy to prepare.

The strange thing about Datalounge is how an innocuous topic involving food preparation causes flame wars and trolling.

Thanks, R26! They are tasty and easy to prepare. I've had people tell me that they've never really liked carrots before having these. The key is the slow cooking in a very small amount of water (and some butter)—aka braising. It really concentrates the carrot flavor. I hope you will report back after you make them.

[quote] The strange thing about Datalounge is how an innocuous topic involving food preparation causes flame wars and trolling.

I know! Simply by sharing really good, tried and tested recipes, I've attracted the worst type of DL poster. I've also had interactions with some very lovely and fun guys. I would cause far fewer flame wars and trolling were I to post about fingering Meghan Markle's prolapsed anus than when I post about how to prepare a delicious roast chicken or when I posted about hosting out of town friends for afternoon tea. I suppose that's what makes DL a fun place.

R20- Read between the lines. "Do you like being fingered?" is the subtext of every article in Ladies Home Journal.

Oh, and people thinking that I'm DeFacto (whomever that is) or GapGuy. I love the conspiracy theorists out here. They are crazy entertaining.

[quote] Read between the lines. "Do you like being fingered?" is the subtext of every article in Ladies Home Journal.

I must pick up a copy.

Keep going Greg. I appreciate good recipes.

Thanks, R33! I will!

I blocked those two jerks, Greg.. Waste o time.

[quote]Okay, [R24]. If you use maple syrup you are making something else...syrupy, sweet, sticky carrots. Obviously, you should do what you like. But I wish you'd try these carrots. Let the taste of the carrot take center stage!

Alright, already! I don't much like maple syrup anyway. Or carrots, for that matter, but they are in my CSA bag today. I usually bury them in soups and stews. The only sugar I have is the ginger infused stuff. That will have to do. I'm not buying a lb of sugar to use a couple teaspoons.

I'll let you know how it went.

Sugar on carrots? Sickly sweet like candied yams. Disgusting.

Great, R24. I think ginger-infused sugar might be nice. You might discover something wonderful! I hope the sugar isn't large, crunchy granules like Demerara sugar (Sugar In the Raw) or sanding sugar. You don't want a crunch here. If that is what it's like, just pick up a few packets of sugar in your local coffee shop.

[quote] Sugar on carrots? Sickly sweet like candied yams. Disgusting.

No, R37, these carrots should not be sickly sweet and should be nothing like candied yams. The sweetness should come from the carrots themselves. The small amount of sugar (scant tablespoon or 2 teaspoons) is simply to give a nice sheen and to help the caramelization process (nice dark brown areas on the carrots).

I agree with you that sickly sweet candied yams are not very nice.

Carrots only need salt and pepper. Garlic and butter are good too. They are sweet on their own. No need for extra sweet shit.

Im from a southern family who bake carrots with sugar, I can't eat this mess anymore.

[quote]This process takes at least one hour—more likely 1.5 hours.

For CARROTS?

[quote] Carrots only need salt and pepper. Garlic and butter are good too. They are sweet on their own. No need for extra sweet shit.

Then you can leave the sugar out. But as I said, these are not meant to be very sweet because of the sugar. It's only there to facilitate caramelization.

Yes, R42, that's why these carrots taste so good. If you're cooking, it's hardly a bother to have some carrots cooking slowly in a sauté pan. These carrots do not require a lot of attention. Just try it.

The person mentioning trolls needs to realize that Greg IS a troll. Seriously.

[quote] I'm from a southern family who bake carrots with sugar, I can't eat this mess anymore.

R41, I'm sure I would agree with you. These are likely overly sweet, trashy carrots.

I am talking about a slow braise in just a little water and some butter and fresh thyme. Then at the end, a little salt and a little sugar to help give them some color. There's a reason Marcella Hazan said,

[quote] "I know of no other preparation in the Italian repertory, or in other cuisines for that matter, more successful than this one in freeing the rich flavor that is locked inside the carrot."

You'll note that instead of braising them in chicken stock (which one could do), she cooks them in a small amount of water. The goal is for these carrots to taste like carrot not something else. We're trying to coax flavor out of the carrots here.

[quote] The person mentioning trolls needs to realize that Greg IS a troll. Seriously.

Whatever you say, Julianne Moore. Whatever you say.

I need attention!!!

[quote] I need attention!!!—Greg, the perky asshole

I really do, R48! We all do, don't we? You know you're hoping for me to reply to your comment. Part of me wanted to disappoint you by ignoring it, but I'm trying to be a nicer individual. So, here I am, giving you the attention you crave. What else can I do for you? I really hope you try these carrots. They are so good and they might change your disposition. I bet you'd return here, thanking me for sharing such a wonderful method for cooking the humble carrot!

[quote]4 peeled carrots, cut into 4" to 5" pieces. I like to start by cutting the top off the carrot off at a 45 degree angle. Rotate the carrot a quarter turn and cut again a 45 degree angle. Continue cutting the carrot this way. The pieces should be around 4.5" to 5" long.

Just what kind of Frankencarrots do you have, Greg, that you can keep rotating and cutting on to get 4" - 5" pieces?

My CSA just arrived. My carrots are only about 6" long. They are also fairly thick, so braising is going to take awhile.

They're also purple. I usually save those to make wine, but I'm committed to trying this tonight.

Hey stargazer! My carrots are often 8 or 9" and when you cut them on the bias, you can get three pieces of of each carrot. Using four carrots, I typically will get twelve pieces total. With 6" carrots, you will likely get two pieces from each carrot. So if you use four carrots, you will end up with eight pieces. Yes, they are fairly thick which is why it will likely take 90-minutes or so. You want them to be very, very tender when finished. Purple carrots are fine.

We will look forward to your report later tonight or tomorrow!

I like your recipes and your basic thoughts ( philosophy?) on food in general. At times, I understand, they might come across as a bit pretentious to some, but they do not have to read them or reflect on them. I especially appreciate posts like “Sautéed Carrots”, because they make me consider processes and/ or basic staples in a manner which is new to me. (Incidentally, I adore M. Hazan for her understanding and explanation of Italian food). Keep it up and please keep posting !

Has something happened in your personal life Greg? You seem to be seeking a lot of validation on DL over the past few days with multiple threads.

Prayers.

Hello, Kansas Boy, what a nice message! Thank you.

I agree, I love finding new methods of cooking in order to achieve something simple but delicious—like these humble carrots. We all grew up eating carrots and may even prepare them as adults. But the carrots my mother made were nothing like this. They were either cut into "coins" and boiled at a high temperature and then buttered, or sometimes they were cooked with a lot of brown sugar and were sickly sweet. What I love about this method is how quintessentially Italian it is—taking simple but good ingredients, treating them with respect, and coaxing the best out of them in order to make them shine and taste like themselves. In other words, not getting too much in the way. One of my favorite ways to roast a chicken, for example, starts with a good chicken that is seasoned with just salt and pepper. I also like other ways of preparing roast chicken (stuffing it full of lemon quarters, thyme, and garlic; placing fresh thyme beneath the skin; etc), but there is something really nice about the simplicity of a really good chicken tasting like chicken without a lot of competing flavors.

I appreciate your comment.

[quote] Has something happened in your personal life Greg? You seem to be seeking a lot of validation on DL over the past few days with multiple threads.Prayers.

Thank you for your concern and your prayers, R53. However, everything is fine with me! Didn't you hear that 2023 is the Year of Greg on DL?

It's better with brown sugar imho. I also throw a couple Tbsps of butter in with the water; helps prevent it from sticking after you boil off the water.

[quote] It's better with brown sugar imho. I also throw a couple Tbsps of butter in with the water; helps prevent it from sticking after you boil off the water.

De gustibus non est disputandum.

Yes, I also put butter in with the water.

Be careful. Greg's got a big sausage and he isn't afraid to use it.

[quote] Be careful. Greg's got a big sausage and he isn't afraid to use it.

Haha. Yes, that's actually true.

I would have assumed Greg was a bottom. Interesting.

You make carrot wine R50?

[quote]You make carrot wine [R50]?

Sure. You can make wine out of anything, really, r61. Root wines are a bit of an acquired taste, but I enjoy them. Parsnips make a particularly interesting one.

Purple carrot and beet wines have glorious colors. Here's one very basic recipe.

R58 I've had Greg's big sausage. Sweetest I've ever tasted with an explosive surprise at the end.

R63, Shhhhhh…

Did that really surprise you?

R64 Yes, Greg,, I was surprised how your special, salty sauce copiously gushed from the sausage. It was like heaven in my mouth.

Lovely, R65, glad to hear it!

What would you serve with the carrots? I'd recommend using organic carrots with stems that are relatively thin.

What would I serve with the carrots? Roast chicken?

Stems?

I love how OP is absolutely losing his shit over a recipe for braised carrots.

Greg, are you an eldergay?

[quote] I love how OP is absolutely losing his shit over a recipe for braised carrots.

R69, if this is your idea of absolutely losing my shit, you must have a very delicate and fragile constitution. This is not even close to me losing my shit.

[quote] Greg, are you an eldergay?

You’ll have to define eldergay.

[quote] Carrots only need salt and pepper. Garlic and butter are good too

Garlic on carrots? No thanks. We’re trying to bring out the taste of the carrot, not mask it with friggin’ garlic.

Greg, do you have a problem with The Men of Lynn?

Who are these Men of Lynn?

The ones you said you'd never cross paths with. Why is that? Do you live out on The Cape? Or just avoid Lynn in general?

Well, I am either on the Cape or in Boston. I would have no reason to be anywhere near Lynn. It’s a bit off the beaten path. I have two friends who live there and they happen to live very close to one another on Lynn Shore Drive. I have been to their homes on many occasions, but for the most part when we get together it’s at a restaurant in Boston. Oh, I’ve also shopped for fabric at Zimman’s on Market Street.

So if the Men of Lynn shop for fabric at Zimman’s, I suppose our paths could possibly cross. But I’ve probably been to Zimman’s three times in the past fifteen years.

The city of sin …

If I remember correctly, mace is the typical spice used for carrots but that might be a Greek thing.

Yes, R80, mace pairs well with carrots. Mace is a lot like nutmeg. Its flavor is warm with just a touch of citrus in it, which is why it would work well when it comes to lightening carrot’s earthiness.

Can I use frozen or canned carrots?

Greg, are you older than 60?

I'm a cunt and you're a cunt for liking my posts, you cunt.

You've seen those passive-aggressive little men who harbor a secret life of rage and punctilious mediocrity? Well, this one has found a place to dump my pissiness and rage, drenched in bullshit and stolen material from real cooks.

Eat me.

No, I am not older than 60.

R84 is obviously not me.

Greg, I bet you're young and sexy.

[quote] stolen material from real cooks.

How boring you are, R84. I've made a very handsome living cooking for others. I think it's so funny when people out here say that I've stolen recipes from real cooks. I've been cooking for many years and have developed what I believe to be the best recipes. Your words are meaningless to me.

Thank you, R87. Sadly, I am not young. I am sexy, however.

R86 is obviously not me.

R89 is obviously not me.

[quote]So if the Men of Lynn shop for fabric at Zimman’s, I suppose our paths could possibly cross. But I’ve probably been to Zimman’s three times in the past fifteen years.

Obviously I am on the spectrum and therefore you MUST tolerate me.

Next I'll be telling you how I boil water and turn it into holy water soup by stirring it with my magic finger.

R92 obviously is me.

Ignore R90 and R91.

R86 and R89 were indeed posted by me.

And R92 was not me.

Such children out here this morning!

I hope I don't turn into one of those cunts who misuse an anonymous gossip and politics site by acting like a flea.

I'd have to pull those carrots out of my ass and beat myself with them.

Will I EVER have a life?

What's your problem, R92?

Don't you like Zimman's?

Oh shit. Who's the real Greg?

I am the real Greg. If you don't believe me just ask me something that requires an intelligent response.

Greg, what kind of underwear do you wear?

I certainly hope all these poseurs don't infiltrate my upcoming "Greg 2023 DL Live" session.

Why do you ask, R102?

Because I think you're hot, Greg.

Thanks, R105.

One benefit of dyslexia: Whenever I start scrolling past this post on the main page,my brain reads, "Have you ever braised asshole? They are amazing!"

Thank you for your service, Greg.

Glad you finally authenticated, Greg. Cuts down on the noise.

I wasn't able to get to the garden yesterday to harvest fresh thyme, so my report on your carrot recipe will have to wait til tonight or tomorrow.

[quote] One benefit of dyslexia: Whenever I start scrolling past this post on the main page,my brain reads, "Have you ever braised asshole? They are amazing!" Thank you for your service, Greg.

Hahahaha! You literally just made me laugh out loud.

You're welcome, R107.

[quote] Glad you finally authenticated, Greg. Cuts down on the noise. I wasn't able to get to the garden yesterday to harvest fresh thyme, so my report on your carrot recipe will have to wait til tonight or tomorrow.

I only use it in an emergency.

Okay, I'm glad you waited. The thyme is important.

Those sound good but not as good as roasted carrots.

I do like roasted carrots, R111. But there is a freshness and indisputable pure carrot taste that makes these so lovely.

[quote]Will I EVER have a life?

You tell me r98/guy who just posted 9 blank posts in a row.

^You do know that you are only bumping Greg's thread for him, don't you? As trolling goes, posting blank messages is a total failure. Before you were a troll. Now you are merely a repetitive anonymous blank.

I did try your recipe, Greg/r110. It was interesting, but my problem is that I simply don't like carrots. I will throw this into my repertoire, though. I liked it better than most, and I always struggle to find ways to use thyme other than in a bouquet garni. I used under a teaspoon of the ginger infused sugar, and that worked fine for caramelizing. I also used Himalayan pink salt. The sea salt I have on hand isn't fine enough

Speaking of baby carrots, I use Queen Anne's Lace when I find it. That's how I started making root wines, r61. I had a field of it that needed eradicating and thought I might as well make use of it.

What on earth is going on with all the above blank posts?

It's the troll that was impersonating you, Greg/r130. Once you authenticated, they resorted to the blank posts.

Ah. Thanks, stargazer. Is that he same guy who keeps insisting that I am DeFacto with many sockpuppet accounts? That guy seems very unwell.

Couldn't say, Greg/r132. Anyone who indulges in back-to-back posts is unwell, in my opinion.

Thanks for the recipe.

What a fucking loser you are! Now go play somewhere and stop annoying the adults, you mental incompetent.

And in LA with our exorbitant gas bills this recipe would probably cost 40 bucks or more.

$40+ for four carrots and some thyme?

Carrots are still inexpensive.

Yes Greg. Not for the carrots or thyme. For the gas to cook them.

Going, going....

Fuck off, R148.

Thanks, Greg, I will try this.

I suggest using the smaller carrots that come in a bunch with the greens still attached; they have more taste than the larger, peeled, bagged ones.

It's definitely worth trying, r152. I agree about the carrots. If the greens are still attached, that's sure sign of freshness. I use the greens in soups and pesto.

I’ve never seen large whole carrots that are already peeled.

R153 I didn’t know you could use those greens for anything - thanks.

R154 I misspoke. I don’t think they’re peeled - now I can’t remember!

Whether way, I use the smaller ones for my carrot needs.

I slowly brown them in olive oil and vegan butter with some pepper and onion salt. As they brown, I add a splash of soy sauce. Then at the end I add some vegetable broth and cover the pan.

Either way, I meant!

[quote][R153] I didn’t know you could use those greens for anything - thanks.

Carrot greens can be a little bitter, r155. It cooks away in soups and stews, but I use it sparingly in pesto.

Thanks R157.

Today is a great day to braise carrots.

Or to glaze carrots.

When one braises carrots, they are also lightly glazed.

Glazed carrots are nothing new. I follow a recipe called Venetian Carrots. Why, I don’t know, but it’s the same recipe without the thyme which isn’t necessary.

Of course thyme is not necessary, Egalandy. Lots of things are not necessary, but they're nice.

Don't skip the thyme if you can help it.

These were so good!

[quote]Have you ever braised carrots? They are AMAZING!

Unfortunately, they also make Greg fart...just awful smelling farts!

And the children in our trailer park are still teasing him about his "sex toy" accident.

This sounds delicious - I hope my ADD allows me to braise carrots for an hour. Question: why unsalted butter when you add salt anyway? Obviously, sea salt adds its own flavor, texture, etc., but would love to hear other reasons.

[quote] This sounds delicious - I hope my ADD allows me to braise carrots for an hour. Question: why unsalted butter when you add salt anyway? Obviously, sea salt adds its own flavor, texture, etc., but would love to hear other reasons.

Hello NoPalmOil. Feel free to use salted butter if you like. I said unsalted butter because I like to control the amount of salt that goes in. Salted butter will be just as good.

I hope you’ll make these!