Hello and thank you for being a DL contributor. We are changing the login scheme for contributors for simpler login and to better support using multiple devices. Please click here to update your account with a username and password.

Hello. Some features on this site require registration. Please click here to register for free.

Hello and thank you for registering. Please complete the process by verifying your email address. If you can't find the email you can resend it here.

Hello. Some features on this site require a subscription. Please click here to get full access and no ads for $1.99 or less per month.

Let's be things found in the home of an Eldergay

I'm the Vanity Fair magazines fanned out on the coffee table.

by Anonymousreply 601September 5, 2021 2:34 PM

I'm the DVC collection on the bookshelf. There are a few video cassettes, forgotten in a drawer, too.

by Anonymousreply 1August 23, 2021 3:12 AM

↑ DVD Collection

by Anonymousreply 2August 23, 2021 3:13 AM

I'm the landline

by Anonymousreply 3August 23, 2021 3:15 AM

I'm the pencil placed directly next to the rotary phone.

by Anonymousreply 4August 23, 2021 3:17 AM

I'm all of these things, yes, indeed, ALL of them

by Anonymousreply 5August 23, 2021 3:24 AM

I'm the half gallon of Smirnoff vodka in the freezer, next to the carton of Marlboro Lights 100's

by Anonymousreply 6August 23, 2021 3:24 AM

I’m the colander, I’ve never been used.

by Anonymousreply 7August 23, 2021 3:28 AM

I am 60 watt bulbs in the living areas and even lower wattage in the bedroom area when coitus is about to occur .

I am compressive under garments by Spanx for those rare excursions to a gay bar

I am the secondary secret laptop with a different Google Acct login I use for "sexy time "

I am the ninety day bottle of Wellbutrin and Cilias usually taken in tandem

I am the AARP membership card that he refuses to carry in his wallet

An finally I am the sense for loneliness and isolation that brings me to this site to commensurate with my fellow Eldergays

by Anonymousreply 8August 23, 2021 3:29 AM

I'm the mirrored tray on the bedroom dresser. I hold an array of the finest colognes found at Bloomingdales, Neiman Marcus and Sephora.

by Anonymousreply 9August 23, 2021 3:30 AM

I'"m Judy and Sparkles, the two siamese cats

by Anonymousreply 10August 23, 2021 3:30 AM

Red bathroom, with Architectural Digests stacked neatly nearby.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 11August 23, 2021 3:32 AM

R11 I like that grab bar over the toilet !!! I That would come in handy !!!!

by Anonymousreply 12August 23, 2021 3:33 AM

Im the 3 sets of silver and 6 sets of fine china ,some inherited,some purchased , that I cant bear to part with though I last had people over for dinner in 1978 . Im the rolodex on the desk .98% of the names in it are dead.

by Anonymousreply 13August 23, 2021 3:36 AM

I'm the variety of prepackaged cookies in the cupboard.

Can I offer you a Lorna Doone, Fig Newton, hard oatmeal, or windmill-shaped cookie with your tea?

by Anonymousreply 14August 23, 2021 3:36 AM

These are amazing. Keep going...

by Anonymousreply 15August 23, 2021 3:39 AM

I'm the glass shelved lighted china cabinet filled with Lalique.

by Anonymousreply 16August 23, 2021 3:39 AM

(I just love Lalique!)

by Anonymousreply 17August 23, 2021 3:40 AM

Im the naked pictures of men all over the wall from 1979… And penis statues everywhere. Groundbreaking for 1979!

by Anonymousreply 18August 23, 2021 3:41 AM

I am the enema kits under the bathroom sink, which are administered twice weekly as Mother and Grandmother instructed me to do so long ago.

by Anonymousreply 19August 23, 2021 3:41 AM

I am the complete collection of Barbra Streisand's films, concerts and tv specials, arranged in chronological order in a place of honor in the entertainment center.

by Anonymousreply 20August 23, 2021 3:42 AM

I'm the whip hanging on a hook on the bedroom door.

by Anonymousreply 21August 23, 2021 3:43 AM

I am the Ritts and Mapplethorpe coffee table books. They may find their way to the bedroom from time to time.

by Anonymousreply 22August 23, 2021 3:47 AM

I’m the half used tube of Preparation H ointment on the windowsill next to the toilet. The suppositories are kept cold in the fridge door.

by Anonymousreply 23August 23, 2021 3:47 AM

I'm the old kitchen spice containers made of tin, sitting next to the empty jars of Vicks Vaporub and Noxzema skin cream made of deep blue glass, sitting in an out-of-the-way corner cupboard.

by Anonymousreply 24August 23, 2021 3:51 AM

I'm the stocked cigarette box on the living room coffee table, right next to the matching Art Deco glass ashtray and figurine lighter.

by Anonymousreply 25August 23, 2021 3:55 AM

I'm the claustrophobic effect (a long ago summer project) of upholstering, window draping, and wallpapering the guest room in all matching chintz.

One guest has stayed there, but the cat likes it.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 26August 23, 2021 3:56 AM

At R11, I'm not understanding the placement of that grab bar, unless you're using the toilet head-in.

by Anonymousreply 27August 23, 2021 3:57 AM

[quote]I'm the stocked cigarette box on the living room coffee table, right next to the matching Art Deco glass ashtray and figurine lighter.

.....and each cigarette is smoked with a "Bette Davis" flair.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 28August 23, 2021 3:59 AM

I’m the photographs of friends lost to HIV.

by Anonymousreply 29August 23, 2021 4:00 AM

We're the two yappy toy dogs that dictate every moment of our eldergays' lives. We're named after either long-dead actors and actresses, or fashion design houses.

by Anonymousreply 30August 23, 2021 4:00 AM

I am the well-worn copy of The Front Runner on the shelf, next to The Joy of Gay Sex.

by Anonymousreply 31August 23, 2021 4:01 AM

I'm the fully-stocked bar, with four types of vodka!

by Anonymousreply 32August 23, 2021 4:02 AM

No gay man has bought Vanity Fair since Rasida took over. Who wants to read a style-free woke rag about grubby looking z-graders? The readership now is college age women.

by Anonymousreply 33August 23, 2021 4:08 AM

I'm the rose chintz sofa. I smell of spilled gin, cigarette smoke and cat piss.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 34August 23, 2021 4:08 AM

[quote]No gay man has bought Vanity Fair since Rasida took over. Who wants to read a style-free woke rag about grubby looking z-graders? The readership now is college age women.

Okay this is something every gay man can agree with, regardless of age or generation.

by Anonymousreply 35August 23, 2021 4:09 AM

I'm the framed Patrick Nagel.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 36August 23, 2021 4:10 AM

I'm the framed Follies poster.

Original cast ONLY, thank you very much.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 37August 23, 2021 4:12 AM

I'm the mid-century, baby blue soda stream on the fully (FULLY) stocked bar.

by Anonymousreply 38August 23, 2021 4:13 AM

I'm the closet full of these...

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 39August 23, 2021 4:14 AM

I'm the old framed photo of Mother in her 30s or 40s, looking well-groomed with a slightly faraway look in her eyes.

by Anonymousreply 40August 23, 2021 4:14 AM

I’m the little feather duster used to keep the tchotchkes, which can be found on almost every flat surface in the house, looking like new. I flutter to the soundtrack of “Hello Dolly” every Sunday afternoon.

by Anonymousreply 41August 23, 2021 4:15 AM

I'm rough trade, still debating whether to kill him.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 42August 23, 2021 4:15 AM

"No gay man has bought Vanity Fair since Rasida took over. Who wants to read a style-free woke rag about grubby looking z-graders? The readership now is college age women."

Err, no one is reading Vanity Fair these days.

by Anonymousreply 43August 23, 2021 4:19 AM

The Erte print, there since the 80’s.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 44August 23, 2021 4:21 AM

I'm the must have curio cabinet just filled with the finest collectables from my many world travels...

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 45August 23, 2021 4:22 AM

I'm the Bette Midler CDs, stacked next to the Bose from 90s.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 46August 23, 2021 4:25 AM

I'm the Marlin Beach Hotel poster that every Gay man had in the 80s now tucked away in a back room closet...

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 47August 23, 2021 4:26 AM

I'm the China cabinet, always pointed out to guests who are told "that was Mother's."

by Anonymousreply 48August 23, 2021 4:26 AM

I am the double headed dildo.

by Anonymousreply 49August 23, 2021 4:30 AM

I'm an original copy of Straight From The Heart: A Love Story by Rod and Bob Jackson-Paris.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 50August 23, 2021 4:31 AM

These are all amusing but way off the mark. Thanks for playing, though.

by Anonymousreply 51August 23, 2021 4:33 AM

I’m the concealer in the bathroom..

by Anonymousreply 52August 23, 2021 4:34 AM

An eldergay who has been dead for two weeks because his nephews and nieces never call!!!!!

by Anonymousreply 53August 23, 2021 4:34 AM

I'm the upright piano, inherited from Mother, on which I play my favorite showtunes.

by Anonymousreply 54August 23, 2021 4:39 AM

I'm this elegant piece of machinery tucked away in the garage of my Miami Beach condo...

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 55August 23, 2021 4:40 AM

I’ve been in quite a few “eldergay” homes and have never seen anything like as described here.

by Anonymousreply 56August 23, 2021 4:40 AM

Appearance aids

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 57August 23, 2021 4:41 AM

R45 only, so far.

R55, yes.

by Anonymousreply 58August 23, 2021 4:41 AM

I'm the large collection of kitschy Mammy themed items all around the kitchen.

by Anonymousreply 59August 23, 2021 4:42 AM

"I’ve been in quite a few “eldergay” homes and have never seen anything like as described here. "

I'm an ElderGay and own half the shit mentioned here

by Anonymousreply 60August 23, 2021 4:43 AM

Learn to quote^.

by Anonymousreply 61August 23, 2021 4:45 AM

Maybe off the mark for you r51

by Anonymousreply 62August 23, 2021 4:54 AM

I'm the Palmer Guide To Cursive Handwriting, which is still strictly adhered to

by Anonymousreply 63August 23, 2021 4:55 AM

I'm the checkbook. I'm still used regularly.

by Anonymousreply 64August 23, 2021 4:55 AM

I am the fabulous Le Chat Noir and Folies Bergère prints that complement the Erte at R44.

by Anonymousreply 65August 23, 2021 4:57 AM

I'm the Gump's catalog in the magazine holder in the guest bathroom.

by Anonymousreply 66August 23, 2021 4:58 AM

I'm the Rigaud candle on the glass coffee table.

by Anonymousreply 67August 23, 2021 5:00 AM

I'm the newspaper that is delivered every morning.

by Anonymousreply 68August 23, 2021 5:02 AM

One of these

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 69August 23, 2021 5:03 AM

I'm the kimono that is worn while reading the newspaper every morning.

by Anonymousreply 70August 23, 2021 5:03 AM

I am the Barbie doll collection; each Barbie is wearing a haute couture gown.

by Anonymousreply 71August 23, 2021 5:06 AM

I am the unused exercise equipment gathering dust in some abandoned corner of the house.

by Anonymousreply 72August 23, 2021 5:08 AM

The 20 something twink Thai boyfriend/fiancé.

by Anonymousreply 73August 23, 2021 5:08 AM

We call them 'houseboys', dear.

by Anonymousreply 74August 23, 2021 5:09 AM

Stacks of books

by Anonymousreply 75August 23, 2021 5:10 AM

I cringe in horror at how accurate some of these are. As I stare at my kimono hanging on the back of the door while glancing at my Erte prints and Lalique glass.

by Anonymousreply 76August 23, 2021 5:12 AM

Some variation/version of me can be found in many an eldergay home.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 77August 23, 2021 5:12 AM

"Learn to quote^. "

Kiss my wrinkled, crusty butthole

by Anonymousreply 78August 23, 2021 5:15 AM

I’m the reading glasses…on the nightstand, end tables, in the bathrooms, by the phones and tucked between the pages of a crossword puzzle book.

by Anonymousreply 79August 23, 2021 5:19 AM

I'm Judy at Carnegie Hall.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 80August 23, 2021 5:20 AM

I'm the framed ticket stub from a long-ago Liza Minnelli concert.

by Anonymousreply 81August 23, 2021 5:20 AM

[quote] I'm the upright piano, inherited from Mother, on which I play my favorite showtunes.

And Mother’s favorites too!

by Anonymousreply 82August 23, 2021 5:21 AM

I'm the collection of Playbills from the last 50 years.

by Anonymousreply 83August 23, 2021 5:21 AM

[quote]I’m the reading glasses…on the nightstand, end tables, in the bathrooms, by the phones and tucked between the pages of a crossword puzzle book.

This one hurts (says the poster who buys reading glasses by the 5-pack from Amazon and has a pair in every room, along with one looped over my shirt collar at all times).

by Anonymousreply 84August 23, 2021 5:26 AM

No worries, r84. That's not an eldergay thing at all. That's an everybody over 50 thing.

by Anonymousreply 85August 23, 2021 5:27 AM

I'm the towel turban and Clinique moisturizing face mask

by Anonymousreply 86August 23, 2021 5:29 AM

I'm the Tom of Finland coffee table book.

by Anonymousreply 87August 23, 2021 5:33 AM

I'm the leftover cod with prunes.

Left over because for some strange reason, about 3/4 of the invitees never show up for dinner, and none of those that do show want to take any leftovers home.

by Anonymousreply 88August 23, 2021 5:33 AM

And her dream yacht.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 89August 23, 2021 5:37 AM

I'm the well worn VHS copy ...

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 90August 23, 2021 5:43 AM

I'm the bottle of Jovan Must cologne sitting on the vanity.

by Anonymousreply 91August 23, 2021 5:45 AM

We are the pink light bulbs..

by Anonymousreply 92August 23, 2021 5:47 AM

I’m the carved jade whatnots.

by Anonymousreply 93August 23, 2021 5:49 AM

*musk

by Anonymousreply 94August 23, 2021 5:53 AM

I'm the Ralph Lauren embroidered polo player logos on the shirts in the closets.

by Anonymousreply 95August 23, 2021 5:55 AM

I'm the Christopher Radio collection of Christmas tree ornaments individually wrapped in tissue paper in the attic.

by Anonymousreply 96August 23, 2021 5:59 AM

Jovan musk will make me drop my undies quicker than you can say Jack Robinson ! Something about that scent has always driven me mad with lust. .

by Anonymousreply 97August 23, 2021 5:59 AM

Commiserate, R8.

by Anonymousreply 98August 23, 2021 6:01 AM

I'm the lanai.

I used to be called just the backyard patio, until...well, you know.

by Anonymousreply 99August 23, 2021 6:01 AM

^ Was that before or after it's "veranda" phase?

by Anonymousreply 100August 23, 2021 6:03 AM

I'm the custom-framed 'Ice Capades 1975' poster.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 101August 23, 2021 6:08 AM

I’m the new feather duster which seems hard to find out shopping…none at ikea!

by Anonymousreply 102August 23, 2021 6:19 AM

I'm the Crane's stationery, embossed with my cypher and hand-bordered in ecru; everyone loves to receive me.

by Anonymousreply 103August 23, 2021 6:19 AM

Elegance

by Anonymousreply 104August 23, 2021 6:22 AM

I'm the T-shirt and shorts that are two sizes too small, hurriedly thrown on when the cute UPS guy pulls into the driveway.

by Anonymousreply 105August 23, 2021 6:24 AM

R84 & r85, I posted the ‘I’m the reading glasses’ from experience! I normally wear bifocals, but I still keep readers all over just in case, even in the car! I can fake-it-until-I-make-it with distance but not reading.

by Anonymousreply 106August 23, 2021 6:27 AM

I'm the Just for Men hair dye to hide that tell tale gray.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 107August 23, 2021 6:28 AM

I'm the eldergay's husband. We've been together for 25 years. We laugh at each other's foibles and have a glass of wine each night, toasting a life well-lived.

by Anonymousreply 108August 23, 2021 6:28 AM

I'm the electric heating pad.

by Anonymousreply 109August 23, 2021 6:29 AM

I am the dour designer cat staring down at its owner with disdain.

by Anonymousreply 110August 23, 2021 6:31 AM

A Bootleg VHS of Looking for Mr. Goodbar

by Anonymousreply 111August 23, 2021 6:35 AM

I'm the small, fluffy cream/white/beige purebred dog who my owner loves more than any human.

by Anonymousreply 112August 23, 2021 6:45 AM

I'm the pile of diet books recently bought in anticipation of the new diet - and new LIFE - being started on Monday.

by Anonymousreply 113August 23, 2021 6:49 AM

[quote] I'm the Gump's catalog

Gumps! I forgot they existed. I still have some items from them.

by Anonymousreply 114August 23, 2021 6:52 AM

I'm the premium subscription to Datalounge.

by Anonymousreply 115August 23, 2021 6:55 AM

I’m the Soloflex machine, here only for the grace of that ad. I’m in mint condition.

by Anonymousreply 116August 23, 2021 6:55 AM

I'm the fax machine.

by Anonymousreply 117August 23, 2021 6:57 AM

[quote] Gumps! I forgot they existed. I still have some items from them.

Of course you do, dear.

by Anonymousreply 118August 23, 2021 6:59 AM

I'm the 50 year-old neighbors, who are derided as "Millennials."

by Anonymousreply 119August 23, 2021 6:59 AM

I'm the paid off mortgage, the monthly pensions and returns on investments, the zero debt, and mounting bank balance.

by Anonymousreply 120August 23, 2021 7:00 AM

I'm the semi-permanant pile of Cruise Ship brochures on the kitchen table, ever ready for dreamy perusals over morning coffee.

by Anonymousreply 121August 23, 2021 7:04 AM

Oh please, r120, all that's going to be blown on some manipulative, rapacious twink with massive sizemeat and a drug problem in no time.

by Anonymousreply 122August 23, 2021 7:07 AM

I am the unopened 12-pack box of Magnum Large Ribbed and Lubricated Condoms sitting on-top of the fridge.

by Anonymousreply 123August 23, 2021 7:08 AM

[quote] even in the car! I can fake-it-until-I-make-it with distance but not reading.

R106, please get rx glasses for distance for driving purposes. I wear rx glasses for driving, but held off for a couple of years. It’s so much more relaxing to drive when you can see everything clearly.

by Anonymousreply 124August 23, 2021 7:11 AM

I'm the unopened copy of Madonna's "Sex" book. Someday it'll be worth a fortune!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 125August 23, 2021 7:36 AM

I couldn't figure out if R1 meant DVD or QVC until he clarified at r2, either would have been appropriate.

by Anonymousreply 126August 23, 2021 7:48 AM

R123 Who the fuck keeps condoms on top of the fridge?

by Anonymousreply 127August 23, 2021 8:31 AM

I'm the vintage late 1960s mineral oil rain lamp, but instead of a goddess, I contain a figure of Apollo.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 128August 23, 2021 8:38 AM

"Oh please, [R120], all that's going to be blown on some manipulative, rapacious twink with massive sizemeat and a drug problem in no time. "

Oh, please! I'm too old and have come too far to blow everything on some twink stud-muffin. A new car, maybe, but he's not getting all my stuff

by Anonymousreply 129August 23, 2021 10:19 AM

We consider an eldergay to be over 35, yes?

In that case: A PlayStation, iPod or CD of any kind.

by Anonymousreply 130August 23, 2021 11:12 AM

Startlingly familiar, many of these, at least for moi. I feel…what do the kids say….SEEN.

by Anonymousreply 131August 23, 2021 11:13 AM

I'm the mirrored tray on the bedroom dresser. I hold an array of the finest colognes found at Bloomingdales, Neiman Marcus and Sephora.

I’ve also featured bumps and lines of coke, K, Tina and even a combination of “trail mix” back in my more adventurous days.

by Anonymousreply 132August 23, 2021 11:24 AM

This thread needs a filter so we can weed out "things found in the home of someone over 50" from the actual title of the thread.

by Anonymousreply 133August 23, 2021 11:39 AM

I'm heart and blood pressure medication. And poppers.

by Anonymousreply 134August 23, 2021 11:59 AM

AT 62, I have none of these except a checkbook, and husband. Checks are still necessary in NH. I cannot pay most tradespeople without them. I may be splitting hairs on two. I have a library, so the books are on shelves, not stacked; and; my reading glasses are on a chain around my neck.

I am not saying that the list is inaccurate, but it does describe a very specific older gay man of a certain economic level and geographic location.

by Anonymousreply 135August 23, 2021 12:02 PM

I’m the closet stacked with Depends. I’ll need to be restocked in another month.

by Anonymousreply 136August 23, 2021 12:09 PM

"I'm the mirrored tray on the bedroom dresser."

Because even us eldergays like to do a few lines of blow now and then :)

by Anonymousreply 137August 23, 2021 12:19 PM

This thread describes why I love eldergays.

by Anonymousreply 138August 23, 2021 12:28 PM

I am the matching nightstands in the bedroom with matching reading lights and matching fake flowers. I have a book carefully placed at an angle to break up the look. On the other side is a big box of Kleenex, and a bottle of Jergens lotion. My hands get so dry.

by Anonymousreply 139August 23, 2021 12:41 PM

I’m the box of bank statements and other financial documents that never get opened, but will need to be shredded; unable to make the switch to paperless to save the planet.

by Anonymousreply 140August 23, 2021 12:45 PM

[quote] I'm the Christopher Radio collection of Christmas tree ornaments

Radko.

by Anonymousreply 141August 23, 2021 12:45 PM

THIS book.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 142August 23, 2021 12:48 PM

I am the tarnished metal cock ring in the drawer of the nightstand in case I get lucky. So edgy and radical is how I like to think of myself.

by Anonymousreply 143August 23, 2021 12:48 PM

I'm the antique clock that has a place of pride in the foyer. The eldergay who lives here tells everyone I've been in his family since they crossed over on the Mayflower but he really found me in another eldergay's estate sale and purchased me for $50. He tends to stretch the truth like that.

by Anonymousreply 144August 23, 2021 12:51 PM

I am the above ground outdoor Jacuzzi I always wanted since the 80's but couldn't afford until retirement. Never mind they are not a thing anymore but in my mind they are.

by Anonymousreply 145August 23, 2021 12:53 PM

Hot tubs are passe? Who knew.

by Anonymousreply 146August 23, 2021 12:55 PM

I am the set of napkin rings and wine charms in case I have company and want them to know I have class even though I am too lazy to fold and stuck in a retro world of tablescapes.

by Anonymousreply 147August 23, 2021 12:56 PM

[quote]Hot tubs are passe? Who knew.

Very passe, the only way people use them now is if they are built in as part of a fancy pool. The above ground ones or plastic ones sunk into the ground are tacky, tacky, tacky.

by Anonymousreply 148August 23, 2021 12:59 PM

Well, R148 my sciatica and aching back will put up with the tackiness of my hot tub in exchange for some relief.

by Anonymousreply 149August 23, 2021 1:02 PM

Why so much hatred for the people who fought hard for your rights and endured stuff you can't imagine? Do you think you won't get old one day?

Carry on.

by Anonymousreply 150August 23, 2021 1:02 PM

Get a sense of humor and quit taking everything so seriously, R150.

by Anonymousreply 151August 23, 2021 1:04 PM

R150 I actually think is gentle ribbing. I am 53 and can totally relate to some of these things.

I am the Charles Hix Workout book , well thumbed and “The Gay book of Days”

by Anonymousreply 152August 23, 2021 1:07 PM

R150, as an elder gay, I assure you that most of the men who live as described did not fight for your rights. They safely played court favorite to a bunch of women playing queen bees. They thought those of us on the streets were vulgar and should learn some manners (e.g., our place.)

by Anonymousreply 153August 23, 2021 1:08 PM

I've had my copy since 1977.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 154August 23, 2021 1:09 PM

I'm a stack of old Playbills on the book shelf.

by Anonymousreply 155August 23, 2021 1:22 PM

This is terrifyingly accurate.

I'm the large coffee table book on Michelangelo.

by Anonymousreply 156August 23, 2021 1:35 PM

I'm the small individual aspic molds for my grandmothers handed-down recipe for Tomato aspic.

I was last used on Thanksgiving day ,1978.

by Anonymousreply 157August 23, 2021 1:38 PM

I'm the assortment of Fiestaware.

by Anonymousreply 158August 23, 2021 1:41 PM

r158: But only VINTAGE from the '30s - '50s. All the post '86 Fiesta is strictly frau.

by Anonymousreply 159August 23, 2021 1:47 PM

I'm the matted and framed collection of Claudette Colbert memorabilia.

by Anonymousreply 160August 23, 2021 1:50 PM

[quote]All the post '86 Fiesta is strictly frau.

I have post '86 turquoise, chartreuse, and cobalt Fiestaware, and I am strictly non-frau.

by Anonymousreply 161August 23, 2021 1:53 PM

[quote]I have post '86 turquoise, chartreuse, and cobalt Fiestaware, and I am strictly non-frau.

Uhhhhhh.... No. Just no.

If you have a collection of Homer Laughlin Fiestaware from the 1930's and 40's, then you're a savvy collector.

But post 1986? Pure frau.

by Anonymousreply 162August 23, 2021 2:02 PM

I'm a little disappointed that although being a card carrying eldergay, I miss on most of these things except for the old DVD collection of movies and the china / silver for 80. But, the later was inherited and is too valuable to give away. But, it's carefully locked away in a vault and not displayed in a vitrine as a point of pride.

by Anonymousreply 163August 23, 2021 2:26 PM

^^Sorry the two 'buts'. I'm typing while stuck in traffic.

by Anonymousreply 164August 23, 2021 2:28 PM

I'm the framed autograph from Anton Walbrook.

by Anonymousreply 165August 23, 2021 2:29 PM

I'm the living room full of my own abstract oil paintings, a hobby I took up just two years ago.

by Anonymousreply 166August 23, 2021 2:35 PM

Post 86 is for everyday use and most of those colors have been discontinued anyway.

by Anonymousreply 167August 23, 2021 2:38 PM

I’m the jugs of distilled water for the CPAP humidifier.

by Anonymousreply 168August 23, 2021 2:42 PM

I'm Mother.

I am 88 and Hisstopher has been taking care of me for the last ten years. He moved back from San Francisco for me because his brother and sister have actual families and are too busy with my grandchildren and their very important jobs.

I talk about how successful they are and how wonderful my grandchildren are all the time and I make Hissy take out his phone and show people the new pictures that they put on the Facebook.

Hissy and I always watch the soaps together and then all the reality shows on TV. I know my stuck up daughter in law thinks she is too good for those kinds of shows, but I put up with it because her kids are so cute and because she buys my Christmas and birthday presents at the Nordstroms when she goes to Chicago.

Tonight we are going to sing show tunes again. Hissy's the only one whoever bothered to learn how to play the piano, which is good because he can make some extra money now giving lessons.

I mean it's not like that design job in San Francisco was a career like his brother has.

by Anonymousreply 169August 23, 2021 2:44 PM

R3- I have a landline and I still have my VCR ( which still works by the way) I still have my Sony Wega tv I bought at the WIZ in November 2000.

by Anonymousreply 170August 23, 2021 3:00 PM

And she's gonna die with that Sony tv. Mark my words.

by Anonymousreply 171August 23, 2021 3:08 PM

R171- My Sony tube tv still works perfect even after TWENTY years of use. So don't knock it.

by Anonymousreply 172August 23, 2021 3:12 PM

Perfectly. It works perfectly.

But it doesn't. Televisions are one of the devices that really have been dramatically improved since you bought your Sony television. The improvement in picture quality is immense.

Your Sony is limited. Extremely limited. And far from perfect.

by Anonymousreply 173August 23, 2021 3:15 PM

I'm the flip phone

by Anonymousreply 174August 23, 2021 4:30 PM

I have a FULL SIZE desktop computer at home. None of those MODERN new fangled laptops for me.

by Anonymousreply 175August 23, 2021 4:34 PM

r162 r159 I took a look at some Fiesta IG pages and, you know what, you're right. Post '86 Fiestaware does have a large contingent of frau fans. Nevertheless, and although I am an eldergay, I like my post '86 Fiestaware. Most of it is Turquoise, my favorite color.

r167 is also right. Homer Laughlin deletes and adds colors every year. At this time, Turquoise is the oldest color still available new except for White. Many colors don't last long. They have had too many variations on Crayola Yellow-Orange, which they retire after only a year. I hope they don't retire Turquoise. I believe it is still one of the most popular colors.

by Anonymousreply 176August 23, 2021 4:48 PM

I feel a dish thread coming on.

by Anonymousreply 177August 23, 2021 4:58 PM

r176, No problem. Always happy to educate a fellow Dish Queen. Black and Lilac used to be "hot" post-86 colors. But if you like the post-86 Turqouise, check out the original Fiesta Turquoise. It's a little lighter in color and was made all through the original 30s-50s run and it's still really plentiful and very reasonable. I love the ring-handled cups. ...and they are super cheap. Nobody wants teacups and saucers anymore.

r177: Sounds good to me!

by Anonymousreply 178August 23, 2021 5:00 PM

I’m expired lube.

by Anonymousreply 179August 23, 2021 5:01 PM

R173 is BRUTAL.

I like that in a R173.

by Anonymousreply 180August 23, 2021 5:04 PM

I'm the autographed 8x10 headshot of Patti Lupone, framed and hanging in the bathroom.

by Anonymousreply 181August 23, 2021 5:05 PM

I do have turquoise in my post-86 Fiesta, which is for everyday use. Some breakage but mostly bowls, not plates. I also have Buffalo china for everyday, the green and white diner stuff. It will be in great shape and unbreakable through the next Ice Age/

by Anonymousreply 182August 23, 2021 5:05 PM

I am the fumbling around in the gunt trying to find the cock around which I might place said cockring (r143).

by Anonymousreply 183August 23, 2021 5:07 PM

I am the complete DVD collections of

Maude

Golden Girls

Designing Women

Mary Tyler Moore

Soap

and

The West Wing

by Anonymousreply 184August 23, 2021 5:08 PM

I'm the rack with cassettes of 175 Old-Time Radio shows.

by Anonymousreply 185August 23, 2021 5:08 PM

I'm the full set of old diner mugs that I picked up for .50 a piece and that some schmuck is selling for 22.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 186August 23, 2021 5:09 PM

I actually do want to get maybe 2-3 pieces of Fiestaware but only the true MCM era stuff, since I'm in a (sort of) MCM home now.

It seems like lots of young fraus are collecting.....is it the Corningware baking crocks?

by Anonymousreply 187August 23, 2021 5:10 PM

I’m hairless shins and calves.

by Anonymousreply 188August 23, 2021 5:10 PM

I'm the gin and tonic that is mixed just before Days Of Our Lives starts.

by Anonymousreply 189August 23, 2021 5:12 PM

I'm the full set of Le Creuset in Royal Blue that was purchased in1978 and is still chip- and stain-free. The three Dutch Ovens are never loneiy.

by Anonymousreply 190August 23, 2021 5:14 PM

I'm the brittle stretch fibers in 40 year old jockstraps and speedos, which are kept for nostalgia's sake in an Alden shoebox on a high shelf next to mother's wedding album from the mid 50s.

by Anonymousreply 191August 23, 2021 5:17 PM

R191 along with the tank tops. So many tank tops……

by Anonymousreply 192August 23, 2021 5:28 PM

I’m a collection of twenty mini bottles of the Glenlivet nestled in a little basket atop the first edition of Trader Vic’s Bartender Guide.

I’m the soundtrack of Sirius Big Band Swing alternating with TCM. I’m the swoosh of fabric and yipping dog when the boys who mow the lawn come to the door. They keep asking for more money and I give it to them.

by Anonymousreply 193August 23, 2021 5:29 PM

I'm a copy of Damron Accommodations that we reused when we went to Italy in 2019. Maybe the world changed? Maybe Damron didn't? But we got virtually no action this time around.

by Anonymousreply 194August 23, 2021 5:33 PM

I'm the recipe for Prunes and cod

by Anonymousreply 195August 23, 2021 5:34 PM

[quote] So many tank tops……

.....used now as dusting rags, since none of them still fit

by Anonymousreply 196August 23, 2021 5:34 PM

I'm the chinoiserie!

by Anonymousreply 197August 23, 2021 5:39 PM

I can outdo EVERY ONE on this thread. I still have a record player and a bunch of LP's in my house.

by Anonymousreply 198August 23, 2021 5:41 PM

I’m the foul stench of decay that every person over 50 emits.

by Anonymousreply 199August 23, 2021 5:51 PM

There is such a thing as Dish Queens?

Wow. Live and learn.

I don't even know what Fiesta Ware is.

by Anonymousreply 200August 23, 2021 6:00 PM

Ditto R200.

Well I didn't know what it was BD (Before Datalounge)

It comes up quite often on here as a think Eldergays remember fondly from their childhoods and want to collect.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 201August 23, 2021 6:03 PM

I'm cat hair. I'll never leave every piece of fabric I touch, but Daddy likes it that way.

by Anonymousreply 202August 23, 2021 6:28 PM

I'm the fanny pack caressing the gunt underneath the caftan.

by Anonymousreply 203August 23, 2021 6:28 PM

I'm the Dell desktop computer open to Datalounge.

by Anonymousreply 204August 23, 2021 6:30 PM

I guess I'm "Eldergay adjacent" because I do have some of these things, but I also actually *want* others. Time is a harsh mistress.

by Anonymousreply 205August 23, 2021 6:37 PM

This thread makes me want to go to Palm Springs and tour the stately manors, so I can witness this in person.

by Anonymousreply 206August 23, 2021 6:38 PM

I'm the miniature poodle.

by Anonymousreply 207August 23, 2021 6:43 PM

[quote] Televisions are one of the devices that really have been dramatically improved since you bought your Sony television. The improvement in picture quality is immense. Your Sony is limited. Extremely limited. And far from perfect.

I had a cathode ray TV (forgot the brand) that would not die. I cut my cable subscription down to just internet and got rid of the TV. My brother said they're also not very energy-efficient (old TVs).

by Anonymousreply 208August 23, 2021 6:45 PM

I'm the hair plugs and rings on every finger.

by Anonymousreply 209August 23, 2021 7:22 PM

Oh fuck ! I wear rings on every finger ! Its the Cuban in me.

by Anonymousreply 210August 23, 2021 7:31 PM

r210: "Its the Cuban in me."

We would also have accepted "I'm Italian".

by Anonymousreply 211August 23, 2021 7:33 PM

I'm this:

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 212August 23, 2021 7:35 PM

Those are for my bead collection, R212!

by Anonymousreply 213August 23, 2021 7:45 PM

Thanks, r178. As I'm now an ancientgay, I'm no longer taking in any new dinnerware. I got rid of two sets prior to covid, and have two sets left, neither anything formal. I use my post '86 Fiestaware every day. I looked at the website r201 linked us to, and saw that the vintage Turquoise is more blue than what I have now. If I were to buy anything, I'd want it to be more green than more blue, even if only slightly.

Thanks for responding.

by Anonymousreply 214August 23, 2021 7:46 PM

"My brother said they're also not very energy-efficient (old TVs). "

No, but in the winter they'll keep your apartment nice and toasty

by Anonymousreply 215August 23, 2021 8:43 PM

There were some late 90s SONY tvs that were just about perfect. I lost mine in a breakup but that ex still has it for watching movies on VHS. The technologies go together well. I don't have that nostalgia but some people do. Old electronics are collectors items for a few young tech nerds. They are also sought after for small tech museums, and universities have collections, too.

by Anonymousreply 216August 23, 2021 9:15 PM

I am the Smythson bespoke stationery , size A4, in pale Nile blue with dark brown embossed and engraved “BROWMOR HEATH” at the top of the page (additionally engraved and embossed on the flap of the matching envelopes) ……envelopes that have tissue lining matching EXACTLY the ink color of the engraving……..cost for 200 sheets and 200 matching envelopes……$1685.00 usd

by Anonymousreply 217August 23, 2021 10:04 PM

I am the Klipsch Corner Horn speakers bought in 1964 for $888/pair ……..same speakers easily approach $20,000 pair now in tiger eye maple ……….driven of course by McIntosh vacuum tube amps and a Thorens turntable……..

by Anonymousreply 218August 23, 2021 10:08 PM

disintegrating condoms on the dusty floor of the wine cellar. From when Edward was presenting hole to Jorge the gardener in the late 80s. Thomas knew all along and never said a word. It hurt a little bit but Eddie was only human and had needs. Thomas leaves them there to remember Edward and what a naive shit he could be.

by Anonymousreply 219August 23, 2021 10:43 PM

[quote]I’m the soundtrack of Sirius Big Band Swing alternating with TCM

[quote]I'm the Dell desktop computer open to Datalounge.

I don't think I'm eldergay, but you totally clocked me with these.

by Anonymousreply 220August 23, 2021 11:33 PM

I’m the track lighting.

by Anonymousreply 221August 24, 2021 12:23 AM

I'm the Tiffany lamp on the end table next to the liquor cart. I was always Mother's favorite.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 222August 24, 2021 12:47 AM

I’m Mother’s beloved breakfront that has been repurposed to display the urn containing her cremains.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 223August 24, 2021 12:57 AM

I’m the dimmer switches for the track lighting.

by Anonymousreply 224August 24, 2021 1:26 AM

"I’m the track lighting. "

In the refrigerator

by Anonymousreply 225August 24, 2021 1:38 AM

I'm the Vitabath.

by Anonymousreply 226August 24, 2021 1:39 AM

I'm the CALGON bath salts I use to unwind

CALGON take me away!

by Anonymousreply 227August 24, 2021 2:10 AM

I'm the "Get Ready for Medicare" booklet lying on the coffee table. I've been read through thoroughly. Twice.

by Anonymousreply 228August 24, 2021 2:19 AM

Ooooo, R228. I got approved for Medicare just last week.

by Anonymousreply 229August 24, 2021 2:26 AM

I’m the Werther’s Originals caramels in the candy dish on the Davenport.

by Anonymousreply 230August 24, 2021 2:37 AM

[quote] Checks are still necessary in NH. I cannot pay most tradespeople without them

Are you telling us, R135, that New Hampshire has not yet adapted to the new-fangled debit and credit cards? I’m not aware of any business that doesn’t accept cards, and I wouldn’t patronize them if I was.

by Anonymousreply 231August 24, 2021 2:43 AM

New Hampshire doesn't even have trash pick up.

by Anonymousreply 232August 24, 2021 2:45 AM

Closets filled with CAFTANS

by Anonymousreply 233August 24, 2021 2:48 AM

New Hampshire is the Alabama of the Northeast.

by Anonymousreply 234August 24, 2021 2:48 AM

We're the other guys with track lighting.

by Anonymousreply 235August 24, 2021 3:07 AM

[quote]Well, [R148] my sciatica and aching back will put up with the tackiness of my hot tub in exchange for some relief.

Talking about your aches and pains like it's an important topic to other people is very Eldergay.

by Anonymousreply 236August 24, 2021 7:09 AM

We're the bar soaps and whimsical scrub brushes which will later scrub a traumatized prostitution whore raw while a glass fish fixes a dead black eye on the ceiling and waits for it to be over.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 237August 24, 2021 8:01 AM

I’m the collection of Hummel.

by Anonymousreply 238August 24, 2021 8:29 AM

I'm the coterie of faggoty poodles, the 17 bottles of meds in the cabinet, some of which I need an oven mitt to open (the rest are hidden, dear), and the painful Hemorrhoids.

It was worth it. At least what I can remember of it, at least I tell myself that.

by Anonymousreply 239August 24, 2021 8:34 AM

I am the shower shot permanently attached to the shower plumbing in hopes that some day someone will want to fuck me and I will be clean and ready to go. I dont care what my house guests think, it sends the message that I am still sexually active, or was in the 80's.

by Anonymousreply 240August 24, 2021 8:56 AM

Poodles are great dogs and hemorrhoids does not need to be capitalized.

by Anonymousreply 241August 24, 2021 9:55 AM

R231 - lots of tradespeople want to avoid credit cards like crazy, as they have to pay an extortionate fee to use them. So they prefer checks or cash.

by Anonymousreply 242August 24, 2021 10:58 AM

R242, that is correct, and I did say tradesmen. It is not like I am using checks at Home Depot, but yes, for plumbing, septic, painter, chimney maintenance, etc., checks are required. And, FYI, many of these are guys in their 20s. They don#t want to fork over

by Anonymousreply 243August 24, 2021 11:22 AM

+1 on R242

Most of them prefer to be paid in cash so they don't have to report it, but checks are also preferred.

I usually have no idea where my checkbook is and need to do a search for it the day prior.

by Anonymousreply 244August 24, 2021 11:26 AM

R244 - a good tip in Western Europe if you feel like taking a cab is to offer cash at a lower fee than the fare. We got to Paris from Beauvais for about 1/2 of the price. Bus was fu of unvaccinated Eastern Europeans with masks under their noses or eating and coughing like Doc Holiday.

by Anonymousreply 245August 24, 2021 11:51 AM

We are original network broadcasts of [italic]The Golden Girls[/italic] on Betamax.

by Anonymousreply 246August 24, 2021 12:06 PM

R245, I have been in many shitty and dangerous cabs in Philly. But nothing was worse than, when in Germany, I needed to pay for a cab with a card. The cab driver - full blown Germany guy - was red-faced screaming at me inches from my face and demanding that I go to an ATM to get cash.

by Anonymousreply 247August 24, 2021 12:49 PM

Don't most companies/independent contractors add the credit card service fee to the overall bill? I could understand paying in cash, but not check.

by Anonymousreply 248August 24, 2021 1:19 PM

The last time I was working with a lot of different contractors, none of them wanted checks, and surprisingly most didn't want cash because they had to report all that money somehow if it was going in a bank at any point and they had legitimate business. And I am talking little guys like painters, electricians, carpenters, plumbers, cabinet makers etc. Unless it was a really small job under $600 dollars.

by Anonymousreply 249August 24, 2021 1:24 PM

If a contractor is divorced or getting divorced, he wants cash. If he is behind on child support or taxes, he wants cash.

by Anonymousreply 250August 24, 2021 1:26 PM

R247 - Germany is a weird place in many ways. I was just talking to my roommate's geeky, IT engineer ex who tells similar stories. Always getting ripped off left and right (he does a lot of travelling to different parts of the country as he manages electrical plants' systems). Says in many ways, it's more fucked up than Romania. Has some odd stories about total scams at 4-star hotels, hysterical Karens in supermarkets, etc. Says the whole place has gone crazy since the pandemic and hopes his company can send him back to the office near Milan.

by Anonymousreply 251August 24, 2021 1:32 PM

I'm "Mother's" tea service.

by Anonymousreply 252August 24, 2021 1:53 PM

I'm the salt water aquarium.

by Anonymousreply 253August 24, 2021 1:54 PM

I'm the steel bar on the wall where the bathtub is.

by Anonymousreply 254August 24, 2021 1:58 PM

I’m the hemorrhoid pillow.

by Anonymousreply 255August 24, 2021 2:09 PM

We’re the copious throws.

Our owner gets chilly you see.

by Anonymousreply 256August 24, 2021 2:10 PM

R245/R247/R248

In The Before Times, Uber was alive and well in Europe and far more efficient. Is that not the case anymore? There were local services too, IIRC, one called Bolt that was in Central or Eastern Europe.

by Anonymousreply 257August 24, 2021 2:18 PM

I'm the bones of snarky non-eldergays under the floor of the basement in the carriage house.

by Anonymousreply 258August 24, 2021 2:18 PM

I'm a couple colorful, droll Jonathan Adler throw pillows arranged artfully on the blue velvet Pottery Barn sofa.

by Anonymousreply 259August 24, 2021 2:24 PM

Old issues of Playgirl magazine from the 1970’s and 1980’s.

by Anonymousreply 260August 24, 2021 2:25 PM

I'm the leather vest hanging on the hook on the bathroom door. I'm within easy reach so my owner can put me on to look as masculine and intimidating as possible.

I've been hanging a few feet from the handmade lavender soaps my owner has made for years, and I've taken on that lovely scent.

by Anonymousreply 261August 24, 2021 2:26 PM

I'm the collection Madame Alexander dolls.

They're the loveliest.

by Anonymousreply 262August 24, 2021 2:27 PM

The "yearbook" for General Hospital.

A signed photo of Miss Linda Gray.

by Anonymousreply 263August 24, 2021 2:27 PM

I’m the dusty 12 year old bottle of Wet water-based lubricant still half-full.

by Anonymousreply 264August 24, 2021 2:27 PM

Oh, R264. That was like a perfect short story by Guy de Maupassant.

by Anonymousreply 265August 24, 2021 2:30 PM

I’m the fainting couch.

by Anonymousreply 266August 24, 2021 2:40 PM

I'm a pair of size 32 Diesel jeans purchased in 2003.

Someday I may fit into them again.

by Anonymousreply 267August 24, 2021 2:46 PM

I’m the size small Abercrombie & Fitch muscle shirts stored and folded in the bottom drawer. My owner squeezes his gut into me sometimes and masturbates about the good ol’ days.

by Anonymousreply 268August 24, 2021 3:29 PM

[quote]hemorrhoids does not need to be capitalized.

Tell you what...you spend some time working in the medical field, and you'll understand that, in many cases, HEMORRHOIDS! absolutely needs to be in caps, and with exclamation.

by Anonymousreply 269August 24, 2021 3:49 PM

I'm the collection of matchbooks.

by Anonymousreply 270August 24, 2021 3:53 PM

R257 - yes, there is still Bolt in all of Europe. We took one in Paris on the way back and it was a bit of a mistake as their prices are "dynamic" and, as our flight left at 7 AM, they charged much more. We don't usually take it here in Eastern Europe because, again, "dynamic" pricing and we only need it at night when we finish getting a huge load of groceries. That money is better used as a tip to a taxi driver and taxis have to be insured and the drivers have to undergo a psychological evaluation, are tracked by the company, and have a routine medical examination. Being a cab driver here requires an investment so it's less likely they will drive unsafely. Also, the car is inspected daily. Not so much with Bolt which is like Uber.

by Anonymousreply 271August 24, 2021 5:16 PM

Good to hear that Bolt is in Germany. I hated not having car sharing services, so I look forward to modern transportation when I'm back.

by Anonymousreply 272August 24, 2021 5:19 PM

A magnet on the refrigerator with the number of a local car service that may or may not still be in business.

by Anonymousreply 273August 24, 2021 5:32 PM

I am a rather battered copy of a 1987 International Male catalog, hidden in a filing cabinet. It's silly to keep it, heaven knows. But there's something about that man in the mesh tee on page 18. There are memories... My owner can't seem to let me go, not yet.

by Anonymousreply 274August 24, 2021 6:02 PM

I'm the office of said eldergay.

And I'm the bookshelf inside that office. In addition to several aforementioned items, I also contain at least 50 different issues of Interview Magazine from the mid-80s.

There's a Keith Haring print on the wall behind me.

by Anonymousreply 275August 24, 2021 6:35 PM

"I'm the mirrored tray on the bedroom dresser. I hold an array of the finest colognes..."

As well as pReP, Viagra, Fleet Enema, TUMS, ProZac, Spanish Fly oil, anal bleach, Glade Rose Garden, echinacea and dentures.

by Anonymousreply 276August 24, 2021 7:29 PM

Anal bleach was not around when elder gays were young R276. It's a Millennial Zoomer thing.

by Anonymousreply 277August 24, 2021 7:43 PM

I am the nearly empty canister of Malibu Musk.

My owner sprayed it between his legs for when he had that "not so fresh" feeling.

by Anonymousreply 278August 24, 2021 7:48 PM

I'm the AIDS meds.

by Anonymousreply 279August 24, 2021 7:49 PM

R279 is why we can't have nice things

by Anonymousreply 280August 24, 2021 7:56 PM

I'm a blue glass Shirley Temple mug.

by Anonymousreply 281August 24, 2021 7:58 PM

I’m Mother’s death mask hanging in the breakfast nook.

by Anonymousreply 282August 24, 2021 8:01 PM

r282 WINS!

by Anonymousreply 283August 24, 2021 8:22 PM

I'm the plastic container with the huge BIOHAZARD sign on the side.

I collect the sharps/needles from all the insulin shots.

by Anonymousreply 284August 24, 2021 8:44 PM

R273 I’m said magnet holding many expired Domino’s coupons to the fridge

by Anonymousreply 285August 24, 2021 8:58 PM

I'm the collection of After Dark magazines Doug boxed up and left in his over-the-garage apartment when he went to college. His younger brother Peter moved in and had lots of people sleep over. One was his friend Will, who discovered the cache of After Darks and assumed Peter was gay. Peter was not gay.

Will later googled the family and discovered Peter's brother Doug had been the gay one, and that he'd died of AIDS in the mid-'80s. I'm now in the possession of Will, who hasn't looked at us in years.

by Anonymousreply 286August 24, 2021 8:59 PM

I'm Matt Damon.

I've been discussed in said home frequently of late, and I wish they'd stop.

by Anonymousreply 287August 24, 2021 10:03 PM

I am the restored version of Judy Garland’s [italic]A Star is Born[/italic] on every video format it has been released in next to an autographed copy of the late Ron Haver’s book about the making of it. The autograph, however, is by Joey Luft. In blue ink.

by Anonymousreply 288August 24, 2021 10:06 PM

I'm the bright red rotary phone that I've had for more years than I can remember.

by Anonymousreply 289August 24, 2021 10:12 PM

I'm the card table, where my friends used to sit with me and play cards and shriek about news events such as the tragic death of our dear Princess Di.

by Anonymousreply 290August 24, 2021 10:23 PM

WHET card tables?

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 291August 24, 2021 10:26 PM

I'm the replica of the statue of David. Big or small, I'm on a shelf somewhere in the house.

by Anonymousreply 292August 24, 2021 10:41 PM

I'm a bookcase. With books. That have actually been read.

by Anonymousreply 293August 24, 2021 10:45 PM

I'm the fluffy footy slippers, one set in each room. They used to be mother's.

by Anonymousreply 294August 24, 2021 10:46 PM

I’m the bottle of Rush in the freezer AND I am this….

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 295August 24, 2021 11:00 PM

I am life-long BITTERNESS and RESENTMENT permeating the dark and lonely abode.

by Anonymousreply 296August 24, 2021 11:02 PM

I’m the extremely well-stocked liquor cabinet kept that way by delivery boys who get generous tips.

by Anonymousreply 297August 24, 2021 11:04 PM

I'm the stack of bills in a basket on the kitchen counter. Each one is paid by putting it in the mail with a check.

by Anonymousreply 298August 24, 2021 11:08 PM

I'm dead.

Killed by a twink.

by Anonymousreply 299August 24, 2021 11:08 PM

I’m the handgun purchased a few months ago, to be used on myself very soon.

by Anonymousreply 300August 24, 2021 11:28 PM

R300, we were NOT all thinking it, you creep.

Most of us were thinking of ribbing our fellow Eldergays about how dated and 'fabulous' we are, not at all assuming that they are all Depressives.

Getting older, cheesier and weirder does not equal suicidal, darling. Sorry you can't relate.

by Anonymousreply 301August 24, 2021 11:39 PM

I'm the Billy and Carlos dolls.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 302August 24, 2021 11:41 PM

R300 - You obviously aren’t “elder” enough to understand. Once you hit 70 you’ll see the writing on the wall.

by Anonymousreply 303August 24, 2021 11:42 PM

I'm the CD tower

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 304August 24, 2021 11:43 PM

[quote]I am life-long BITTERNESS and RESENTMENT permeating the dark and lonely abode.

And the facial expression to go with it: PERMA-DISAPPOINTMENT.

by Anonymousreply 305August 25, 2021 12:38 AM

We're the carbs futilely destroying your last-ditch effort at physical fitness.

by Anonymousreply 306August 25, 2021 12:41 AM

I’m the framed Marilyn Monroe prints, with witty quotes from the dead junkie. You just know I’m a little minx after you read it.

“If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”

by Anonymousreply 307August 25, 2021 12:48 AM

I'm a pack of dried wet wipes under the bathroom sink. Maybe if he kept clean "back there", he'd get more action.

But a bag of Doritos today is a better bet than the hope of random dick tomorrow.

by Anonymousreply 308August 25, 2021 12:49 AM

[quote]I’m the framed Marilyn Monroe prints, with witty quotes from the dead junkie. You just know I’m a little minx after you read it. “If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.” —Borderline Personality Disorder 🚩

I'm the equally old widowed str8 neighbor down the street trying to convince him that the Kennedy brothers hand Marilyn bumped off.

by Anonymousreply 309August 25, 2021 12:50 AM

[quote] I'm a bookcase. With books by well-known literary figures like Danielle Steele, James Patterson, and Jackie Collins. That have actually been read. Not recently and not always by the current owner, but they have been read.

by Anonymousreply 310August 25, 2021 1:05 AM

^^^ I don't know them.

by Anonymousreply 311August 25, 2021 1:08 AM

Consequences

by Anonymousreply 312August 25, 2021 1:18 AM

I'm a well-washed dildo molded after a retired Falcon porn star who is now fat and bald. Much like the owner of said dildo.

by Anonymousreply 313August 25, 2021 1:19 AM

^But when I get drunk, sniff poppers, and shove that dildo up my ass, I'm 25 with a porn star in me!

by Anonymousreply 314August 25, 2021 1:23 AM

I’m the old photographs of past lovers now dead of AIDS.

by Anonymousreply 315August 25, 2021 1:24 AM

EVERY episode of Sex And The City on DVD.

by Anonymousreply 316August 25, 2021 1:26 AM

We're back issues of The Advocate going back to when they actually cared about gay issues.

by Anonymousreply 317August 25, 2021 1:29 AM

The complete set of The Woman's Day Encyclopedia Of Cookery- It's FABULOUS. I should know because I have my mother's set that she bought brand new in the 1960's.

by Anonymousreply 318August 25, 2021 1:32 AM

I am a hardback copy, with dust jacket, first printing of "The Strumpet Wind," by Gordon Merrick.

by Anonymousreply 319August 25, 2021 1:33 AM

Incandescent Christmas tree lights.

by Anonymousreply 320August 25, 2021 1:35 AM

I am the crock pot from 1980. My owner never learned to cook and forced all his tricks through the years to eat that slop when he invited them over for dinner. That dump cake lady looks like she has some good recipes.

by Anonymousreply 321August 25, 2021 1:38 AM

I’m the 30 year old black leather pants and harness that used to get worn on Friday nights at Chaindrive.

by Anonymousreply 322August 25, 2021 1:59 AM

I'm Gwen, and I'm here to warsh yer mangina.

by Anonymousreply 323August 25, 2021 2:07 AM

Mangina? I loved her in [italic]Poltergeist[/italic]!

by Anonymousreply 324August 25, 2021 2:09 AM

I’m the well-worn cloth diaper in the bottom drawer. I get put on after my owner showers and dries himself, and puts baby powder on his balls and ass crack.

by Anonymousreply 325August 25, 2021 2:27 AM

[quote] Incandescent Christmas tree lights.

I love incandescent lighting.

by Anonymousreply 326August 25, 2021 3:47 AM

I’m the chipped vintage vanity you see moved from one end of the apartment to another. Sometimes I’m a planter, sometimes I’m a quasi bookcase, sometimes I’m by the front door to drop mail and keys on…however I’m repurposed, I never seem to work.

My owner can’t get rid of me because decades ago I held the treasure trove of makeup he used in his drag days as Marjorie Moorehead (who scored a LOT of cock…. of varying qualities.)

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 327August 25, 2021 4:18 AM

I came here to say exactly that R326. I'm only 41. Is this how it begins? (jk I know it began at 30)

by Anonymousreply 328August 25, 2021 4:31 AM

English shoes, French and Italian ties, dating from decades ago. Still in great condition.

by Anonymousreply 329August 25, 2021 5:42 AM

2 or 3 antique collectible luxury watches that were only "vintage" when the eldergay bought them back in his 20s and 30s. Never stolen by rough trade, never gifted to a nephew who would have sold them. They may easily end up in the recycling center along with dozens of other treasures soon after eldergay's death. Que será, será

by Anonymousreply 330August 25, 2021 5:49 AM

I'm the musty old-lady fart smell that continuously wafts through every room, due to both reduced sphincter control and not caring after decades of living alone.

by Anonymousreply 331August 25, 2021 5:59 AM

I’m the ancient Siamese cat named Tallulah that hides from guests.

by Anonymousreply 332August 25, 2021 6:08 AM

I'm the pictures of grandchildren that adorn the walls of the house because one of us was in married in a previous life. I make potential threesome sex partners feel particularly weird, particularly when the owners of the pictures are also nudists.

by Anonymousreply 333August 25, 2021 9:37 AM

Me!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 334August 25, 2021 11:26 AM

R334, I think that is a Bronze Age gay. I remember elder gays wearing tons of turquoise jewelry in the 1970s-80s.

by Anonymousreply 335August 25, 2021 11:33 AM

R329/r330 has no idea how to do a “let’s be” thread.

by Anonymousreply 336August 25, 2021 11:57 AM

I’m the bidet.

by Anonymousreply 337August 25, 2021 11:57 AM

Apparently old people smell is real and isn't due to lifestyle or moths. Fun.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 338August 25, 2021 12:02 PM

When I was younger, there was an old man across the hall who always smelled of Ivory Soap. I could never understand how he did it without actually eating Ivory Soap. Maybe he kept it in his dresser drawers as well. The sent never remained long on me.

by Anonymousreply 339August 25, 2021 12:06 PM

[quote] The sent never remained long on me.

Oh, dear.

by Anonymousreply 340August 25, 2021 12:10 PM

Why would the scent remain on you at all, long or otherwise?

by Anonymousreply 341August 25, 2021 12:10 PM

I am the elder gays house absolutely swept through carefully for even the slightest hint of anything gay, still believing his friends and family think he’s 100 percent straight

by Anonymousreply 342August 25, 2021 1:10 PM

I'm the photos, letters, and postcards, squirred away in a drawer, of Jose. The one who really mattered back in my twenties.

by Anonymousreply 343August 25, 2021 1:28 PM

Books

by Anonymousreply 344August 25, 2021 1:35 PM

R339 - there are fragrances that smell like soap. Old ones and new ones.

by Anonymousreply 345August 25, 2021 1:38 PM

I'm the frosted-over Lean Cuisines in the freezer. My Eldergay will start his diet on Monday. It's just been so difficult to focus on eating right, what with all the stress from Covid and all.

by Anonymousreply 346August 25, 2021 1:54 PM

I'm the refrigerator magnet that says INDULGE AND BULGE.

by Anonymousreply 347August 25, 2021 2:05 PM

I'm the copies of Viva left stacked (and dust) on the coffee table so my visitors think I'm bi, which I think will make them more susceptible to my charms.

I forgot the counter-message represented by my coral-bell ascot, yachting cap and tiny mustache.

by Anonymousreply 348August 25, 2021 2:09 PM

[quote]Why would the scent remain on you at all, long or otherwise?

Why do you think?

A kid has got to pay for college somehow.

by Anonymousreply 349August 25, 2021 2:17 PM

I’m the Eldergay sheepishly representing r346.

(Good lord! Have you been to my place?!)

by Anonymousreply 350August 25, 2021 2:24 PM

I'm the 8 ft Adirondack brand vintage 1930s toboggan, with peeling Yale and Colgate decals (who went to Colgate?) hanging next to a 1970's Sunfish sailboat, hanging over a 1970s Fiat 124 Spider. In a cedar chest there is a custom-made toboggan seat pad sewn from Hudson Bay blankets with horsehair stuffing. And two more Hudson Bay blankets for tailgate parties. And an Abercrombie & Fitch Co 1930s picnic basket with tin plates. In tin canister are two crusty jockstraps pinched out of wire baskets of the Hotchkiss field house locker room, and once worn by a perfect French Canadian boy.

by Anonymousreply 351August 25, 2021 2:40 PM

[quote] And two more Hudson Bay blankets for tailgate parties.

You poor things haven’t been seen for a long time.

by Anonymousreply 352August 25, 2021 2:44 PM

Someone read The Preppy Handbook....

by Anonymousreply 353August 25, 2021 3:02 PM

[quote] I'm the copies of Viva left stacked

Why would paper towels make someone think you are straight?

by Anonymousreply 354August 25, 2021 3:03 PM

I'm the six-high stacks of boxes in my owner's spare room or garage.

I'm filled with old vinyl records, cassette tapes, VHS tapes and the like.

I'm filled with music magazines like Smash Hits from my owner's Durannie and PSB fandom days.

I am boxes and boxes filled with every Pet Shop Boys record purchased 18 times - the US and UK versions, plus any other variations from around the world.

My owner never looks at me or listens to me, but every few years when he moves, I must go with him. He will never let me go in his lifetime.

by Anonymousreply 355August 25, 2021 3:12 PM

I'm the embroidered Spanish shawl, dripping with fringe.

by Anonymousreply 356August 25, 2021 3:15 PM

I’m the classic 1975 convertible Jaguar coupe sitting in the garage, covered in dust. I used to come out on sunny Sundays, but my owner is convinced that the other drivers on the road these days are just too dangerous.

by Anonymousreply 357August 25, 2021 3:18 PM

I’m the empty handles of booze being dragged out to the curb under cover of night. Don’t want to give the neighbors the wrong impression!

by Anonymousreply 358August 25, 2021 3:20 PM

I'm 8 sets of cutlery.

by Anonymousreply 359August 25, 2021 3:20 PM

I'm a senior yearbook from 1972.

Tapestry was the name of the yearbook AND the theme to senior prom that year!

It was also the same year that my owner felt the EARTH! MOVE! under his feet, when Danny, the big blonde baseball player, popped his cherry.

by Anonymousreply 360August 25, 2021 3:22 PM

I'm two almost identical hexagonal shiny plastic paper weights, one black, one white, cheap souvenirs bought on schoolboy trips to a state capital city and Washington D.C. I am gleaming under a mid-century J. & L. Lobmeyr Lüster in the eldergay's Vienna pied-à-terre.

by Anonymousreply 361August 25, 2021 3:33 PM

I'm all the late to the party Eldergays trying desperately to make themselves sound far less need, desperate and middle class than the stereotypes found in the first 300 posts

by Anonymousreply 362August 25, 2021 3:45 PM

I'm the bitter queen in her early to mid 30's who thinks sneering at older men, and mocking them for changes in styles and trends, will somehow buffer me from becoming the sadness and desperation I perceive in others.

The more I perform my role of a tart, acidic cunt, the more I believe that my life is at its cusp, just WAITING to happen, and that those hideous eldergays are NOT all my scary tomorrows.

That belief, and a copious amount of alcohol, helps my denial that for me and my pear shaped bag of bones, tomorrow is already here.

by Anonymousreply 363August 25, 2021 4:03 PM

R363 - Impressive. I haven’t seen a cunt as cunty as you in some time.

by Anonymousreply 364August 25, 2021 4:08 PM

363…..impressive

by Anonymousreply 365August 25, 2021 4:29 PM

Y’all better back the fuck off.

I’VE got my eye on r363, so step.

by Anonymousreply 366August 25, 2021 4:34 PM

I'm the Eldergay who lived a life in the 70s that snot-nosed under 30s today could only dream about. I sit in my lovely home, and laugh my ass off at Eldergay threads. Good times and bum times, I've seen them all, and my dear, I'm still here. And to the easily-triggered, I offer this advice: Life is better if you can learn to laugh at yourself sometimes.

by Anonymousreply 367August 25, 2021 5:09 PM

R367 - Love you!

by Anonymousreply 368August 25, 2021 5:11 PM

R367 and what are those experiences? The AIDs crisis? I still don't understand the hatred Boomers have for younger people. It's really weird.

by Anonymousreply 369August 25, 2021 5:17 PM

Eldergay R367 is the one who can't laugh at himself. His post is projection. He's the one who's snot-nosed and 'easily triggered' by this thread.

by Anonymousreply 370August 25, 2021 5:22 PM

The first 300 or so posts in this thread were funny, full of basic "everyone does that" foibles that kept things light.

But then you have your R363s and R367s showing up with the "How dare those young whippersnappers think we're all bitter desiccated cunts? I'll show them what a bitter desiccated cunt looks like. I will be every negative stereotype Datalounge has about Eldergays rolled up into one giant ball of angst.

R363 is the saddest though.

The post basically says "I am a profoundly unhappy and bitter man and since it is the fate of all gay men to become profoundly unhappy and bitter, once they hit 50, you kids will soon become one of us. There's no escape!!! NONE!!!!"

If that was me, I'd just shoot myself.

by Anonymousreply 371August 25, 2021 5:38 PM

I'm a very happy, fulfilled person, R371, thank you for asking. But when R362 decided to be a heinous cunt, I held up a mirror and cunted right back.

You, and R369 "I still don't understand the hatred Boomers have for younger people" seem to be at a loss as to reconcile why eldergays might have a kneejerk negative response. But most younger people, particularly on this board, project a wish that anyone over 40 would just die and disappear. So yes, sometimes we fight to maintain our spots, to not be ignored.

by Anonymousreply 372August 25, 2021 5:49 PM

In my country we call that an "extreme overreaction" R372

Clearly a nerve had been touched and clearly you do indeed believe that it is the fate of all gay men to wind up as bitter and unhappy as you are.

Perhaps as punishment for the sin of sodomy?

by Anonymousreply 373August 25, 2021 5:52 PM

In your country you apparently can't discern social cues or a little lighthearted bitchery.

Run along now. Grown folks are talking.

by Anonymousreply 374August 25, 2021 5:55 PM

"a blue glass Shirley Temple mug"

I have MANY of the things in this thread, but for some reason this one was like a stab to the heart.

Maybe because I have two.....?

by Anonymousreply 375August 25, 2021 6:00 PM

R363, you nailed it.

As for R371...

So here's to the girls on the go

Everybody tries

Look into their eyes and you'll see what they know

Everybody dies

You'll be old one day, if you don't die young. And when you are, young gay men as yet to be born, will sneer at you and your quaint ways. That's life. You'll find out. And why would you care about their approval, anyway?

by Anonymousreply 376August 25, 2021 6:13 PM

Thug porn.

by Anonymousreply 377August 25, 2021 6:21 PM

[quote] Perhaps as punishment for the sin of sodomy?

Wait.

Sodomy is a sin?

Oh, shit!

by Anonymousreply 378August 25, 2021 6:21 PM

R376 - Great post. And also on this subject of eldergays and younger gay relationships, I just wish everyone was more like me. When I was in my 20s and 30s, I was always kind to older gay men, and even accepted coffee or cocktail dates. I enjoyed listening to them and stories of past days. I never accepted a dinner date because I felt that would be leading them on. I did let a few of the coffee dates blow me, but out of kindness for them. Now that I’m an eldergay, I often (not always) see that kindness coming back around. I’ve been able to do a lot more with the young ones than I had ever expected. So to the young ones reading this: please be nice to your elders, it could come back around and benefit you one day!

by Anonymousreply 379August 25, 2021 6:41 PM

HIs mother's vintage Farberware and Chase XLsized hostessing items, much of it in chrome. Trays, platters, chaffing dishes, Tupperware party sized percolator, etc. The truth is, his mother was a hard-drinking layabout in his youth, then went to work at Caldors and hung out in Bingo parlors, until the disco craze hit floyoverstan. Then she became Akron's Disco Sally and saw action in the parking lot in her big brown Lincoln continental some of flame dumped on her. She never hosted anything in her life. Eldergay bought all this at junk shops in the 90s and passes it off as mother's church lady coffee party equipment.

by Anonymousreply 380August 25, 2021 6:55 PM

R11- So tacky. A true elder would NEVER!

by Anonymousreply 381August 25, 2021 7:18 PM

R367- I'm belting out "I'm Still Standing" for you!

by Anonymousreply 382August 25, 2021 7:20 PM

[R379] I was bequeathed a large collection of Peggy Lee albums by an elder gay, I wonder who I will be able to pass them onto. If only there were pop up elder gay museums throughout the world for all these artifacts. Or a Datalounge Museum.

by Anonymousreply 383August 25, 2021 7:50 PM

[QUOTE]I am the sense of loneliness and isolation that brings me to this site to [bold]commensurate[/bold] with my fellow Eldergays.

It's "comiserate," dear!

by Anonymousreply 384August 25, 2021 7:52 PM

[quote] Then she became Akron's Disco Sally

At the Interbelt?

by Anonymousreply 385August 25, 2021 8:00 PM

Wow, some of these posts are depressing, esp. the ones about having an entire car that you never drive. Sports gear that you will never use again. Maybe musical instruments that you will never play, maybe you were never that proficient, anyway.

I'd sell this stuff, free up some space in my house and my mind.

by Anonymousreply 386August 25, 2021 8:01 PM

I’m a senior yearbook from 1992, which I still pull out and proudly show to the younger twinks who visit my boudoir.

by Anonymousreply 387August 25, 2021 8:09 PM

I’m the drawerful of broken figurines Trixie knocked off the mantle when she was spry enough to jump up there. She wanted the catnip plant.

I keep meaning to bring them to a specialist for repair, but no one does fine work like that anymore.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 388August 25, 2021 8:12 PM

[quote]I’m a senior yearbook from 1992....

WTF? You're not even in the running.

by Anonymousreply 389August 25, 2021 8:27 PM

A high school senior in 1992 wouldn't even be 50 yet.

by Anonymousreply 390August 25, 2021 8:28 PM

We are a small collection of Roseville pottery gathering dust on the breakfront: three vases and two jardinieres. Just as our owner was discovering the joys of the Roseville-collecting trend, the prices rose beyond his grasp. But now we're not even worth trying to sell on eBay. A snotty antiques dealer once called us "undistinguished" when my owner was trying to sell us to raise a few bucks. That word still stings. So here we sit, gathering dust.

Our owner thinks his niece will treasure us when he's gone.

by Anonymousreply 391August 25, 2021 8:30 PM

The OP is full of LIES and bought the yearbook at a thrift shop!

by Anonymousreply 392August 25, 2021 8:31 PM

R392 is confusing the next-to-last episode of [italic]The Golden Girls[/italic] with reality again.

by Anonymousreply 393August 25, 2021 8:36 PM

A 1992 senior high yearbook is absolutely owned by an eldergay. The old geezer would be 48 or 49.

by Anonymousreply 394August 25, 2021 8:38 PM

That's nowhere near old.

by Anonymousreply 395August 25, 2021 8:40 PM

[italic]Especially when you look 32 ! ! !

by Anonymousreply 396August 25, 2021 8:45 PM

[quote] I still don't understand the hatred Boomers have for younger people. It's really weird.

They were the generation who was catered to and spoiled and thought the world revolved around them. Then they got older and young Gen Xers burst their self-important bubble and made them feel less relevant. They've been bitter ever since.

by Anonymousreply 397August 25, 2021 8:56 PM

I'm the cherished memories of many fun parties, old friends, and wild trips.

I'm the friends who still get on the phone and talk with me at least a couple times a month.

I'm the boner that still wakes me up every morning.

I'm the mixology skills that get utilized 2x a week, and some folks still come over to enjoy.

I'm the Crock Pot that DOES get used monthly to create wonderful stews, some of them old family recipes.

I'm the wonderfully written history of gay rights struggles which was very much a part of everyday life. I helped write this because I lived it.

I'm the very clean house, believe it or not, with just the important stuff being kept (I did watch the Marie Kondo series).

I'm the PRIDE that I helped life to be better for all gays, especially the younger ones, and the idea that they do not need to bother to thank me.

by Anonymousreply 398August 25, 2021 9:03 PM

They are still jealous. Gen Xers are currently redefining middle age, something Boomers were unable to do. Boomers were "over the hill" by 40.

by Anonymousreply 399August 25, 2021 9:03 PM

[quote]But most younger people, particularly on this board, project a wish that anyone over 40 would just die and disappear.

The Boomers basically invented that back in the 60s.

by Anonymousreply 400August 25, 2021 9:10 PM

r380 I'm smelling a Netflix limited series!

by Anonymousreply 401August 25, 2021 9:12 PM

R400- The saying back in ca. 1968 was - Don't trust ANYONE over 30.

by Anonymousreply 402August 25, 2021 9:21 PM

Boomers act like they invented generational warfare (they didn't), then went on to treat it like a virtue only to act shocked to have the tables turned on them now that they are (quite deservedly) on the receiving end of them.

by Anonymousreply 403August 25, 2021 9:23 PM

We are the veiled hat and white gloves that Mother always wore in public, so as not to appear common.

We are treasured keepsakes.

by Anonymousreply 404August 25, 2021 9:46 PM

A framed picture of James Dean.

by Anonymousreply 405August 25, 2021 10:14 PM

Happy birthday R398!

by Anonymousreply 406August 25, 2021 10:14 PM

Fart-air.

(In every room.)

by Anonymousreply 407August 25, 2021 11:09 PM

I’m the pity cast upon the youngsters who will never know the joys of owning a dear little mini Christmas plate by Royal Copenhagen. Or 50.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 408August 25, 2021 11:12 PM

[quote] If only there were pop up elder gay museums throughout the world for all these artifacts. Or a Datalounge Museum.

Visit your local antique mall and you’ll find all kinds of eldergay TREASURES.

by Anonymousreply 409August 25, 2021 11:42 PM

I’m the stack of $10 bills in the top drawer of the desk by the front door. I’m kept to tip the handsome delivery boys so they receive their gratuity instantly and don’t have to wait for a credit card tip on their paycheck. I serve the dual purposes of receiving excellent service, and a possible hookup at some point.

by Anonymousreply 410August 25, 2021 11:42 PM

[R409] “Let’s be an antique mall” was a DL classic.

by Anonymousreply 411August 25, 2021 11:59 PM

R362- I'm NOT middle class. I'm UPPER middle class.

by Anonymousreply 412August 26, 2021 12:05 AM

That's the slogan of the entire American internet R412.

by Anonymousreply 413August 26, 2021 12:20 AM

[quote]It's "comiserate," dear!

No, it's commiserate, Puss.

by Anonymousreply 414August 26, 2021 12:43 AM

Oh, you're absolutely right, r414. Thanks a million.

by Anonymousreply 415August 26, 2021 12:48 AM

Schadenfreude.

Hee hee.

by Anonymousreply 416August 26, 2021 1:37 AM

Ruta Lee, or one of the Kennedys???

by Anonymousreply 417August 26, 2021 2:17 AM

I'm the jewel case holding the original touring company copy of the Rent playbill

by Anonymousreply 418August 26, 2021 5:27 AM

I'm the Evita original cast album signed by Miss Patti Lupone

by Anonymousreply 419August 26, 2021 5:58 AM

I'm the waist-trainer corset.

by Anonymousreply 420August 26, 2021 6:36 AM

[quote]I'm NOT middle class. I'm UPPER middle class.

I'm lower middle class, care to cross the tracks for a ride?

by Anonymousreply 421August 26, 2021 7:21 AM

[quote]I'm the jewel case holding the original touring company copy of the Rent playbill

Playbill in a jewel case? Plus, I'm so old, I think of Rent as being for the kids.

by Anonymousreply 422August 26, 2021 2:24 PM

I’m the VH1 Divas Live videotapes.

by Anonymousreply 423August 26, 2021 2:44 PM

I'm the corded electric knife. For slicing the turkey.

But I haven't roasted a turkey in 15 years.

by Anonymousreply 424August 26, 2021 2:49 PM

I'm a flower that his mom gave him when she returned from Woodstock, where she went over Dad's dead body. The world didn't collapse. It's a pressed gold (now amber) zinnia.

by Anonymousreply 425August 26, 2021 2:49 PM

I'm my Cuisinart. The only thing I'm used for nowadays is making pesto when the tomatoes are good.

by Anonymousreply 426August 26, 2021 2:51 PM

I'm the specks of silver glitter in the acoustic ceiling.

It took the owner many months, and a few extra thousand dollars, to find somebody who still did this, but the joy he feels every time he looks up at me makes it all worth it.

by Anonymousreply 427August 26, 2021 3:58 PM

Ugh. Fairy dust. Several rooms in my current home have fairy dust on the ceiling. It was here when I bought it, folks. It's embarrassing. I hope to paint over it soon.

by Anonymousreply 428August 26, 2021 4:08 PM

[quote] These are all amusing but way off the mark.

Yup, none of this applies to me. You'd think as a Libra I'd live in a world of exquisite decoration. Instead, I'm rather a minimalist.

As far Broadway goes, an ex and I were taken to Follies back in the day by a friend of his; he lived it, while we were just plain bored. A former musician bf is credited on the Official Cast Recording of "Sweeney Todd"; he left his union pension to me when he passed several years ago.

by Anonymousreply 429August 26, 2021 4:26 PM

One can pass a pension to boyfriend?? Since when?

by Anonymousreply 430August 26, 2021 4:29 PM

If you have a good union job, baby... all sorts of good things flow.

by Anonymousreply 431August 26, 2021 4:32 PM

I'm the black bordered photo of Jon-Erix-Hexum.

by Anonymousreply 432August 26, 2021 4:54 PM

[quote] I'm the jewel case holding the original touring company copy of the Rent playbill

Phantom, Cats, Evita, A Chorus Line or Starlight Express would have also been correct answers for this statement.

Rent would be a relatively newly minted eldergay.

by Anonymousreply 433August 26, 2021 5:00 PM

I'm the DVDs that either no longer play, or cut off the edges to fit a 4:3 TV screen

by Anonymousreply 434August 26, 2021 5:13 PM

I'm the 1 bedroom apartment that's so cluttered Marie Kondo would commit hara-kiri if she saw it.

by Anonymousreply 435August 26, 2021 5:16 PM

I am the stench of unclean litter box that hits all visitors and makes many of them gag and gasp for air as soon as the front door opens.

My owner has three cats but thinks emptying the box twice a week is enough.

Wouldn't want to take away time from her nightly Golden Girls marathon, or the three hours of cruising on Grindr, for a task that only takes five minutes. If the box was clean, one of the numerous street tricks might actually stay for a few minut........eh, who am I kidding?

by Anonymousreply 436August 26, 2021 5:21 PM

I am the endless stories about the aforementioned three cats, all archly named. "Miss Priss can't wait for her breakfast, you know. She wakes me up at 5:30 sharp every morning. If I don't bolt right out of bed, she's quick with her claws! Well, she runs the household! The other cats and I are nothing but her royal retinue!"

I am also the Instagram account for the three cats. I never had more than a couple dozen subscribers and my owner, discouraged, has all but stopped posting. He has never shown his face on a post.

by Anonymousreply 437August 26, 2021 5:39 PM

I'm the 2nd nose job.

by Anonymousreply 438August 27, 2021 6:21 AM

r179 I am crystalized "Deep throat" spray pleased to be in the same drawer as you! Next to the bible.

by Anonymousreply 439August 27, 2021 8:47 AM

Mother.

by Anonymousreply 440August 27, 2021 9:19 AM

A bottle of Angostura Bitters purchased in the mid 90s.

by Anonymousreply 441August 27, 2021 11:42 AM

"I did let a few of the coffee dates blow me, but out of kindness for them. "

Aren't you a dear, r379.

I was on my knees in three minutes. Even when I a teen gay, I was crazed for silverdaddy cock. As a present eldergay, I still am.

by Anonymousreply 442August 27, 2021 1:30 PM

I'm the 22 mostly empty little brown bottles lingering in the drawer of the night stands on either side of the queen sized bed.

by Anonymousreply 443August 27, 2021 1:34 PM

I’m the MacBook Pro bought in 2008. I believe I am at the cutting edge of technology.

by Anonymousreply 444August 27, 2021 1:36 PM

Hey, hey, hey, R444. I paid good money for that machine and there's still a lot of life left in it.

by Anonymousreply 445August 27, 2021 1:42 PM

R444, I had one until lockdown. I'm still working past retirement age several days a week and used the updated office PC and then my phone for everything else. The morning of the lockdown in NYC (last March) I ran down the street to buy an iPad until my job could mail me a new Pro.

I still have it. Not sure if I can find the cord to charge it tho.

by Anonymousreply 446August 27, 2021 2:05 PM

I'm the utility closet stuffed with electronic gadgets dating to the 90s. In 1997 the eldergay was told the disposal of computers and mobile phones is an enormous security risk and so he has never risked getting rid of anything.

by Anonymousreply 447August 27, 2021 2:06 PM

THE

SECRETS

IN

THE

LOCKED

TRUNK.

by Anonymousreply 448August 27, 2021 2:09 PM

[quote] I still have it. Not sure if I can find the cord to charge it tho.

Don’t worry, hun, I’ve got about four of them.

by Anonymousreply 449August 27, 2021 2:13 PM

I'm over 200,000 French francs, hidden, dating from the 90s. Worthless.

by Anonymousreply 450August 27, 2021 2:16 PM

I'm the sleeveless Abercrombie & Fitch muscle tee, also dating from the 90s.

My owner believes he can still fit in me. Maybe after 10 minutes, with a shoehorn, a can of Crisco and a LOT of pulling.

by Anonymousreply 451August 27, 2021 7:39 PM

I'm the handful of black bangles, bought from Claire's in the late 80s.

My owner wore me when he had spiky black hair. He still wears me from time to time, to impress a pretty young thing.

by Anonymousreply 452August 27, 2021 7:41 PM

I’d prefer pudding.

by Anonymousreply 453August 27, 2021 7:41 PM

I'm the skeleton keys.

I was worn at the club to show my owner's membership in the Rhythm Nation.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 454August 27, 2021 7:43 PM

My parents have a bottle that must be from the 1970s, R441.

by Anonymousreply 455August 27, 2021 7:44 PM

I’m a gym membership card from Bally’s Total Fitness.

by Anonymousreply 456August 27, 2021 7:45 PM

It's very sad and yet very Datalounge that

(a) there are a handful of posters who need to declare "my live is wonderful and fulfilling" as if the 400+ in-jokes somehow would make that not true (see R398 for an example)

(b) these posts are being written by an army of bratty 28 year olds who suddenly showed up on DL rather than by other Eldergays with a sense of humor (see R367 for that one)

by Anonymousreply 457August 27, 2021 7:56 PM

^get some sleep hon.

by Anonymousreply 458August 27, 2021 8:00 PM

What R458 said: ^get some sleep hon.

What we all hear: HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!

by Anonymousreply 459August 27, 2021 8:11 PM

R456 - Oh the memories of Bally’s!!! The open community showers and steam room were my playground.

by Anonymousreply 460August 27, 2021 8:15 PM

Sir, I did hear you when you told me you are National President of the American Homosexual Fans of Janet Jackson, and that tonight the tri-state chapter is celebrating the 35 or whatever Anniversary of the release of something Janet Jackson's Rhyming Station. Oh excuse me, Janis Joplin's Pearl Necklace, what? Oh, yes Jan Joplin's Control Top Breakdown, well anyway, the point is sir I regret I cannot seat a party of one, and you're club members don't seem to be coming. I'm sorry, sir. You 2 hours of Appletini's, and 3 sides of chicken wings on the house. Have a good evening mam, I mean sir.

by Anonymousreply 461August 27, 2021 9:14 PM

Taken from the thread about OLD PEOPLE candy-

Big bowls of Mary Janes and Sour Balls for when company comes over.

by Anonymousreply 462August 27, 2021 9:26 PM

R457 Most of us are having lighthearted fun with this.

When we need Dr. Joyce Brothers to come analyze all the fun out of it, we will be SURE to give you a ringy dingy.

by Anonymousreply 463August 27, 2021 11:57 PM

[quote] and you're club members don't seem to be coming. I'm sorry, sir. You 2 hours of Appletini's, and 3 sides of chicken wings on the house. Have a good evening mam, I mean sir.

Sad attempts at a snappy "read" might land better if, you know, there wasn't three grammar mistakes in there.......

by Anonymousreply 464August 27, 2021 11:58 PM

I’m the sunken living room that’s been made level to avoid falls.

by Anonymousreply 465August 28, 2021 1:07 AM

I'm the chandelier bumping into your head because that old fool who owns this place raised the floor of the sunken living room.

by Anonymousreply 466August 28, 2021 1:00 PM

R7 that’s because pasta is never meant to be drained!

by Anonymousreply 467August 28, 2021 2:58 PM

Rinsed, rinsed, rinsed, goddamnit!

by Anonymousreply 468August 28, 2021 2:58 PM

STRAINED.

by Anonymousreply 469August 28, 2021 4:15 PM

I am the desiccated corpse of Mother, kept in the basement and well-lit

by Anonymousreply 470August 28, 2021 5:04 PM

[quote] Oh fuck ! I wear rings on every finger ! Its the Cuban in me.

What's his name?

by Anonymousreply 471August 28, 2021 5:23 PM

I am the box containing 50 year old greeting cards from people I don't even remember

by Anonymousreply 472August 28, 2021 5:27 PM

I'm the bottle of insulin in the fridge, next to the half-eaten raw cookie dough.

by Anonymousreply 473August 28, 2021 5:30 PM

I'm the stack of TV guides with dog-eared articles about Dallas and Dynasty.

by Anonymousreply 474August 28, 2021 5:31 PM

R389 - A senior yearbook from 1989 would mean he was about 48. That is ancient in the gay world, and I'm 54. However, a senior year book from 1972 would make your post the subject of necromancy...

by Anonymousreply 475August 28, 2021 5:48 PM

I am the still used AOL account and email address

by Anonymousreply 476August 28, 2021 5:55 PM

89 makes you 50

by Anonymousreply 477August 28, 2021 5:57 PM

I'm 1979.

Although I am long dead everywhere else, I remain alive and well within these four walls.

by Anonymousreply 478August 28, 2021 5:58 PM

I'm the Iris pattern. You can find me on all of this guy's glassware. You name it. Dusty water goblets. Little used tumblers. I'm on one of his pitchers. Serving plates. A bowl. Ice cream dishes. I'm everywhere. Clear glass. Carnival glass. He just loves the Iris pattern.

He's grand. But the poor guy has never been rich.

by Anonymousreply 479August 28, 2021 6:00 PM

R477 - Yes, that's right. Math has always been an issue for me since I lost my abacus.

by Anonymousreply 480August 28, 2021 6:00 PM

Why can’t you use rocks like the rest of us?

by Anonymousreply 481August 28, 2021 6:06 PM

Because I'm fancy that way. My abacus was made of Lalique.

by Anonymousreply 482August 28, 2021 6:53 PM

I'm the garden party held on the grounds and lanai of the Eldergay Estate.

When my owner leans out the window and yells "Mary!", 50 salt-and-pepper flecked heads turn in unison.

by Anonymousreply 483August 28, 2021 8:00 PM

r450. Your 200k French Franc are worth 30.500 Euro. You can change them at any bank in the Euro region. So, this will pay for a nice trip to Europe.

by Anonymousreply 484August 28, 2021 10:05 PM

40 bucks?

by Anonymousreply 485August 28, 2021 10:09 PM

French francs expired in 2012. They are worthless.

by Anonymousreply 486August 28, 2021 10:28 PM

We are the copies of Time, Newsweek, People plus all the tabloids with Princess Diana on the cover. We are in mint condition, carefully stored in drawers, and only are handled with white cotton gloves. Some days we will be highly collectible.

by Anonymousreply 487August 28, 2021 10:52 PM

I’m the propecia and Rogaine in the medicine cabinet.

by Anonymousreply 488August 28, 2021 10:55 PM

I’m the now historic newspaper from December 8, 1941. I knew my 15-year-old self was smart to save it!

by Anonymousreply 489August 28, 2021 10:59 PM

r486. Wrong. They are not. All currency of the Euro region can still be changed in Euros.

There are still roundabout 10 billions Deutsche Mark somewhere out there circling. All those currencies have no expiring date.

by Anonymousreply 490August 28, 2021 11:02 PM

r486. Sorry checked again, you are right. Not all former European currencies can be changed.

by Anonymousreply 491August 28, 2021 11:07 PM

We are pictures of squares on the AIDS quilt representing former friends and lovers who pre-deceased him.

by Anonymousreply 492August 28, 2021 11:14 PM

I’m Mother’s bridal portrait hanging over the bed in the master bedroom.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 493August 29, 2021 12:08 AM

I'm the bathtub that's been hauled out and the new, tiled shower stall that stands in its place.

I'm the grab bars strategically placed in the new shower stall and next to the toilet as well.

by Anonymousreply 494August 29, 2021 12:15 AM

The Ethel Merman Disco Album

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 495August 29, 2021 12:23 AM

I am a little black book full of phone numbers that are no longer active. Even the entrants who are still alive have moved on to cell phones.

by Anonymousreply 496August 29, 2021 2:31 AM

Several tons of Eldergay clobber going under the hammer in this auction...

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 497August 29, 2021 6:57 AM

I’m the stationary bike that has spent the past year as a clothes valet.

by Anonymousreply 498August 29, 2021 11:45 AM

And I'm the dusty Soloflex machine under piles of boxes. I was bought under the influence of the original ads featuring Scott Madsen. Unfortunately, Scott was not included with the machine, so the youngergay who'd bought me soon lost interest. And here I've sat for the last 25 years.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 499August 29, 2021 11:59 AM

25 years? hahahahah

by Anonymousreply 500August 29, 2021 12:06 PM

I’m the other half of the Pepperidge Farm Lemon Cake bought yesterday- calling and beckoning my elder master from the freezer-

and waiting for my utter demise today.

I get my sweet revenge by generously supplementing his already womanly hips.

by Anonymousreply 501August 29, 2021 1:18 PM

I'm the Nasty Pig jockstrap, bought 15 years ago because my Eldergay bought one for his sometime trick and wanted a matching one. Size L for the Eldergay, Size S for the trick.

The Eldergay has never managed to squeeze into the size L. This year, however, will be the year he gets in shape. By New Year's Day, for sure it'll fit perfectly.

by Anonymousreply 502August 29, 2021 1:26 PM

I’m the Madam Alexander dolls that will one day be bequeathed to young Joel next door.

by Anonymousreply 503August 29, 2021 1:26 PM

[quote] I’m the stationary bike

I have no idea what this is.

Are you referring to my armoire?

by Anonymousreply 504August 29, 2021 1:28 PM

No, you're not, R503.

I am!

by Anonymousreply 505August 29, 2021 1:39 PM

R499 -

Scott Madsen did some hard time. Oh, and he was in jail too.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 506August 29, 2021 3:14 PM

I’m the briefcase in the closet for when my owner worked.

My three digit combination is 323. Apparently that was Mother’s birthday because I’ve heard it told hundreds of times to anyone who will listen.

by Anonymousreply 507August 30, 2021 1:34 PM

I’m the bottle of mother’s pills I kept after she passed. The whole bottle will be used on myself “when the time is right.”

by Anonymousreply 508August 30, 2021 4:37 PM

I'm the array of 20-30 year-old extended family photos displayed on various shelves, end tables, and stands. They are from a more innocent time, when family hadn't distanced themselves from their "odd" (read gay, not out) relative.

To keep the memories fond, recent photos are not displayed.

by Anonymousreply 509August 30, 2021 6:44 PM

[quote] I’m the stationary bike

[quote] I have no idea what this is. Are you referring to my armoire?

No, he's referring to that machine from which you took the seat off and now call Big Daddy Rideout.

by Anonymousreply 510August 30, 2021 11:44 PM

I’m the Mother’s silver ravier atop her old TV tray, filled with celery, carrots and radish roses.

by Anonymousreply 511August 31, 2021 12:42 AM

I'm the daily reminder pill case full of forgotten medications.

by Anonymousreply 512August 31, 2021 2:54 AM

I am the skeleton of a beloved Fox Terrier buried in the backyard two decades ago.

by Anonymousreply 513August 31, 2021 3:04 AM

I'm the burgundy velvet smoking jacket.

by Anonymousreply 514August 31, 2021 3:26 AM

I am the never used analog converter box still sitting on a tube TV in the guest room

by Anonymousreply 515August 31, 2021 3:30 AM

I'm the caftan, earrings and Virginia Slims

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 516August 31, 2021 3:30 AM

R516 - Is that Brenda Vaccaro?

by Anonymousreply 517August 31, 2021 3:31 AM

Quick someone make a part 2 thread.

by Anonymousreply 518August 31, 2021 1:25 PM

The original 1977 membership card to Studio 54- Framed and hanging over the mantelpiece.

by Anonymousreply 519August 31, 2021 1:29 PM

A huge cache of Tab soda.

by Anonymousreply 520August 31, 2021 2:07 PM

Fresca!

by Anonymousreply 521August 31, 2021 2:12 PM

R520- I must correct you it's a HUGE cache of FRESCA.

by Anonymousreply 522August 31, 2021 2:13 PM

I am the bottles of fragrance on the mirrored tray. Paco Rabanne, Aramis, and Pierre Cardin.

by Anonymousreply 523August 31, 2021 2:14 PM

I'm the EBT card for SNAP.

by Anonymousreply 524August 31, 2021 2:18 PM

I’m the Sony Trinitron TV set blaring at maximum volume all day and late into the night.

by Anonymousreply 525August 31, 2021 2:28 PM

Will you be quiet, r525.

I’m trying to look at my program, and thanks to you I can’t hear it.

by Anonymousreply 526August 31, 2021 2:34 PM

I'm the tv shows from the 70s and 80s that were crap to begin with, and are still being binge-watched.

by Anonymousreply 527August 31, 2021 2:44 PM

Yes, R527. And that's why we're on that Trinitron every day. We're MeTV and COZI TV.

by Anonymousreply 528August 31, 2021 4:37 PM

R385, I took my extremely closeted neighbor there for his first time somewhere in the early 1990's. He broke his toe in the foam party on the back patio. Good times.

by Anonymousreply 529August 31, 2021 8:57 PM

[quote] Quick someone make a part 2 thread.

Oh honey, none of the eldergays are that technologically savvy...

by Anonymousreply 530August 31, 2021 11:19 PM

[quote] I am the bottles of fragrance on the mirrored tray. Paco Rabanne, Aramis, and Pierre Cardin.

Racist asshole!

by Anonymousreply 531August 31, 2021 11:20 PM

I'm the "[bold]P[/bold]aco [bold]R[/bold]abanne, for [bold]P[/bold]uerto [bold]R[/bold]icans" saying that became a cliche among New York gays in the late 1970s.

by Anonymousreply 532September 1, 2021 12:16 AM

I’m the boxes of powder blue stationery, beautifully engraved with my owner’s name and street address.

Barely used, they now lie in the back of a drawer in a desk where their owner rarely sits.

And he doesn’t remember the year he moved from that address.

by Anonymousreply 533September 1, 2021 3:46 PM

Engraved? That's pretentious.

Beautifully printed is sufficient.

Not from some crummy off-set printing house. Good stuff, only.

by Anonymousreply 534September 1, 2021 3:57 PM

I’m the dusty old copy of “Art of the Deal” hidden in storage. Everyone is too embarrassed to read me.

by Anonymousreply 535September 1, 2021 4:09 PM

Ancient Greek nude art of any kind.

Black and white 'art' photography nudes of young men.

Kitschy framed art posters of 1940's or 1950's films.

Glass sculptures and vases.

One piece of black-lacquered furniture that they just can't seem to part with.

Some random Asian furniture pieces (usually a chest of some kind or cabinet in a hallway) and Asian wall art.

Track lighting in every room.

by Anonymousreply 536September 1, 2021 4:13 PM

Kitschy 'gay' items in a small display - like the Gay Clone Ken Doll, some artifacts from 60's TV shows (Bewitched, Lost in Space, Hazel), some random rainbow colored items, some penis shaped 'laughable' objects to amuse the visitors. We're not amused.

by Anonymousreply 537September 1, 2021 4:18 PM

R536/r537 haven’t a clue as to how to do a “Let’s be” thread.

by Anonymousreply 538September 1, 2021 5:14 PM

I'm the THIGHMASTER gathering dust in my broom closet since I used it briefly after buying back in 1999 watching an infomercial at 2am whiling trying to unwind after standing for two hours in a cruise bar.

by Anonymousreply 539September 1, 2021 9:06 PM

I’m the Aspercreme. You'll find me in the medicine cabinet on the top shelf to the left, behind the untouched shaving cream.

by Anonymousreply 540September 1, 2021 9:12 PM

I’m the jumbo display alarm clock radio on the dresser. Next to me is the cash for male callers.

by Anonymousreply 541September 1, 2021 9:38 PM

I'm the battery operated nose hair trimmer!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 542September 1, 2021 10:21 PM

I am QVC. I'm the Eldergay's secret shame-watch. That David Venable used to be so dishy, and lord, how he has blown up like a blimp!

But I still bought a set of acacia utensils from his show a few months ago. I put them in the darling blue ceramic crock I bought from his show last year.

by Anonymousreply 543September 1, 2021 10:30 PM

*walks away whistling innocently*

by Anonymousreply 544September 1, 2021 10:32 PM

I'm the living room

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 545September 2, 2021 1:32 AM

I'm the living room in the Florida condo.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 546September 2, 2021 1:33 AM

I’m the Florida room in the Florida condo.

by Anonymousreply 547September 2, 2021 1:38 AM

I’m the dozen poorly made Tiffany lamp knockoffs eagerly purchased from QVC. I’ll be put in a yard sale after my owner climbs the six foot ladder, but when I don’t sell, I’ll go to the dumpster rather than bring boxed up and taken to the Goodwill. When they find my receipts, there will be much moaning that they didn’t get the cash. .

by Anonymousreply 548September 2, 2021 1:52 AM

I'm the Life magazine issue from the year I was born, given to me as a gift. I am placed in a visible location as a conversation piece.

by Anonymousreply 549September 2, 2021 2:01 AM

I am the empty cans of Fabreeze my owner thinks will mask the smell him still secretly smoking.

by Anonymousreply 550September 2, 2021 2:19 AM

I'm regret and Bengay -- oftentimes, located in the same places!

by Anonymousreply 551September 2, 2021 2:21 AM

I am the cable box DVR choked with ancient episodes of THE GOLDEN GIRLS and KNOTS LANDING.

by Anonymousreply 552September 2, 2021 2:21 AM

I am the wall phone in the kitchen that is no longer a land line. My owner cant figure out what to do with me since it would require ripping me out and patching up a big hole. He though about replacing me with an old iPad, but apparently we are not wired for such things.

by Anonymousreply 553September 2, 2021 2:42 AM

I'm the stack of ancient Colt magazines sitting in a box in the closet. I'm sure I'm worth something!

by Anonymousreply 554September 2, 2021 3:06 AM

Link to Part 2 at the ready. If your are on a phone and it's bogging out, head on over, otherwise let's try to close this one out first.

Great idea, OP and many fabulous contributions!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 555September 2, 2021 7:36 AM

Hi, it's R1 from the part 2 thread! Just saying hi!

by Anonymousreply 556September 2, 2021 7:39 AM

I'm the overeager starting of Part 2 threads by a DL'er.

by Anonymousreply 557September 2, 2021 7:41 AM

R557 You are so welcome! Glad I could help. As more people post from their phones, a number of participants on continuation threads have noticed that there is a pretty big bog out factor that starts around 500 posts. It makes for a lot of frustration, especially on a popular topic, which in turn dissuades from participation. I mentioned on another thread, that the 600 post limit may need to be rethought by Muriel. In the meantime, you are more than welcome to simply ignore the fact that it exists if it bothers you so.

by Anonymousreply 558September 2, 2021 7:58 AM

I'm the passive aggression practiced by the overeager starting of Part 2 threads by a DL'er.

Learned from Mother.

by Anonymousreply 559September 2, 2021 8:03 AM

I’m the remote control with the gigantic buttons you need four fingers to press.

by Anonymousreply 560September 2, 2021 2:23 PM

I'm this morning's Metamucil with a vodka chaser.

by Anonymousreply 561September 2, 2021 6:05 PM

I'm the shelf of jigsaw puzzles, most of which have at least one piece missing. My owner hangs on to them because someday those missing pieces might turn up.

He blames the cat, Frances, for naughtily pawing pieces off of the table when a puzzle was unattended. Frances has been dead for 17 years now.

Why yes, I AM very dusty, how did you know?

by Anonymousreply 562September 2, 2021 8:25 PM

I am the anger that someone thoughtfully added a part 2 before what they felt was the appropriate time.

I am that same random anger that makes me feel alive.

by Anonymousreply 563September 3, 2021 9:16 AM

I am the owner of the house with a very unfortunate roommate. We have known each other since grade school. We blew each other one time when we were 13, and for me it was horrible. For 50 (yes) years, he has wanted to try again. I would rather blow the now dead Frances at r562

by Anonymousreply 564September 3, 2021 9:30 AM

I am the Remote Control in R560 with a slightly greasy feel and the “F” button stuck because of - well you know why.

by Anonymousreply 565September 3, 2021 11:56 AM

I am the impenetrable Roku device now being used as a paper weight.

by Anonymousreply 566September 3, 2021 1:02 PM

I’m the rotary telephone on lease from the phone company.

by Anonymousreply 567September 3, 2021 3:13 PM

I'm the lone bottle of kombucha. The Eldergay heard good things about me, brought me home, took one swig, threw me in the back of the fridge, and poured himself a Diet Coke.

I expect he'll soon pour my nourishing, tangy contents down the drain and toss my recyclable bottle in the trash.

I hate him so much!

by Anonymousreply 568September 3, 2021 4:38 PM

I'm the prom nite photo too heavy to hang.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 569September 3, 2021 5:06 PM

Some clues here

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 570September 3, 2021 5:50 PM

I am the Knick Knacks and random heirloom clutter that younger generations have no need for. I see myself and a skilled collector while the real world is considering a call to hoarders.

by Anonymousreply 571September 3, 2021 10:19 PM

I'm the Tom of Finland collections of policemen, sailors and army with bulging crotches.

by Anonymousreply 572September 3, 2021 10:28 PM

I am flatulence. I am at this age uncontrollable, and I am EVERYWHERE. in the house. I am not nearly as smelly as in his younger years, but enough for him to make sad excuses to bow out of basically every gatherings that are left. He watches The Barefoot Contessa to make him feel better about the loose sphincter situation.

by Anonymousreply 573September 4, 2021 7:15 AM

I am the sound of thick toenail clippings in the morning. I like the YouTube videos teaching "older people" how to do it right, though it is still usually a bloodbath. It is as depressing as you would imagine, so I take the advice of r561 and that helps...a little.

by Anonymousreply 574September 4, 2021 1:25 PM

I sold most of my 80s gay porn magazines on E-bay over the course of a couple of years. Netted about $750 cumulatively. This is before E-bay found Jesus and became a prudish old woman.

by Anonymousreply 575September 4, 2021 2:51 PM

I am the assortment of presidential campaign pins stored in a dusty, faux-Asian tin. My owner likes to think of what never was: McGovern, Mondale, Dukakis, Gore, Kerry, Brown, Hart, Tsongas -- we're all here, forever.

by Anonymousreply 576September 4, 2021 3:01 PM

Ahhh Tsongas 92!

by Anonymousreply 577September 4, 2021 3:08 PM

I liked Tsongas and was rooting for him until Dukakis got the bid. Voted for Dukasis, but never with a full heart. Tsongas died young in 1997....

by Anonymousreply 578September 4, 2021 3:12 PM

R14- I still like the aforementioned cookies in your response.

by Anonymousreply 579September 4, 2021 3:14 PM

Dukakis was such a homophobe. Tsongas ran again against Clinton in ‘92.

by Anonymousreply 580September 4, 2021 3:25 PM

Oh that's right. Tsongas was in 92. Who the hell am I thinking of then? It becomes all a blur after awhile...

by Anonymousreply 581September 4, 2021 4:02 PM

We are the collection of the three NYC dailies, dated 9/12 - 9/27/2001 in a plastic bin under the bed. We were purchased dutifully each morning from an outdoor newsstand amid the omnipresent burnt-electrical smell. We have never actually been read, because it was, well, just all too much; but we will never be discarded.

by Anonymousreply 582September 4, 2021 6:29 PM

I don't remember much from days (was it days?) past. I know my memory...what is left of it....is getting worse, but my husband just gently shushes me and holds me when I am scared, and I come back to "normal" for a little while.

I love you, Brian.

by Anonymousreply 583September 5, 2021 10:18 AM

I fucked up my post at R583 didn't I? I'm sorry I didn't do it right. Have at me, bitches! It would be refreshing.

by Anonymousreply 584September 5, 2021 10:25 AM

R584 No, you didn't. And even if you had, I would know what that feels like, and gently condole you.

Give my best to Brian. He sounds like a keeper.

Sleep well.

by Anonymousreply 585September 5, 2021 10:52 AM

I’m the basement or spare bedroom(s) lined with dusty, mismatched and overpacked display cased filled with decades of collecting Barbies. There are all types from vintage to OOAK to Convention dolls. I’ve camped out early and trampled people at estate sales, yard sales, and doll shows to find those rare gems.

by Anonymousreply 586September 5, 2021 12:00 PM

I am the Great Cornholio, I need TP for my bunghole!

I might be old, but Beavis and Butthead never get old to me.

I might not be smart but I'm happy.

OK, not happy, not smart, just trying to make it fucking through to the end with a bit of a laugh, and yes, with other shows than Golden Girls or Murder she Wrote.

by Anonymousreply 587September 5, 2021 12:49 PM

I am the ghost of Frances. That I have stuck around you bores for so long embarrasses me. That said, during my time, I was ahead of the trends, I had the best taste in music, food and clubs. I also knew when a fucking jigsaw puzzle was too dumb for words (or completion) and I NEVAH! let myself go, unlike a certain old owner I used to know. While I am here, I agree Madonna is a fucking disaster now and add me to the pile of humans/cats who assumed she would have aged with some sort of grace.

And NO they don't have good food up here. The things I have to do for some pouches of Friskies Gravy you don't even want to know.

by Anonymousreply 588September 5, 2021 1:46 PM

R583 - If we can elect a senile President, then certainly we can understand your own fading memory. It happens to us all. Wait, what I was talking about?

by Anonymousreply 589September 5, 2021 2:09 PM

I'm the one N95 disposable mask he's been wearing for the past year because you can't be too careful and you can't be too thrifty, either.

by Anonymousreply 590September 5, 2021 2:11 PM

R582- I still have the entire issue of The New York Times from September 12, 2001 in a filing cabinet that I take out once in a great while to look at.

by Anonymousreply 591September 5, 2021 2:13 PM

R589- Which Senile president are you talking about? Our current president or that senile B actor who was our president from 1981 to 1989.

by Anonymousreply 592September 5, 2021 2:17 PM

The current one. Stop living in the past, dear.

by Anonymousreply 593September 5, 2021 2:19 PM

Reminder: Part 2

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 594September 5, 2021 2:32 PM

MARY!

by Anonymousreply 595September 5, 2021 2:33 PM

time

by Anonymousreply 596September 5, 2021 2:33 PM

to go

by Anonymousreply 597September 5, 2021 2:33 PM

now

by Anonymousreply 598September 5, 2021 2:33 PM

see ya

by Anonymousreply 599September 5, 2021 2:34 PM

buh

by Anonymousreply 600September 5, 2021 2:34 PM

bye!!!!

by Anonymousreply 601September 5, 2021 2:34 PM
Loading
Need more help? Click Here.

Yes indeed, we too use "cookies." Take a look at our privacy/terms or if you just want to see the damn site without all this bureaucratic nonsense, click ACCEPT. Otherwise, you'll just have to find some other site for your pointless bitchery needs.

×

Become a contributor - post when you want with no ads!