Lardo thread 2 - Niall Hogran and Lewis Fataldi

Oh no, why did the old thread get paywalled? It was so much fun.

A reminder of the Sandwich Cake! 500 calories per slice, oozing with full fat mayo and cream.

She wrote out a long description of the Sandwich Cake. Mayo, mayo, cream and more cream! I don't get how it resembles a sandwich either, does anyone else? So weird.

yesss ! the fillings are egg&mayo and salmon&creme fraiche with dill, white pepper and lemon. it’s been layered with 50/50 toast and then the ‘icing’ is just cream cheese& mayo mix and then i added some decorations ! it’s very traditional thing to serve on bdays and so on. don’t have to make lots of little sandwiches when you can make a cake haha. then you just slice it up and you basically have a sandwich on your plate.

you can choose whatever fillings you desire (idk like tuna, ham etc). can’t really go wrong. it’s pretty easy to make too. ☺️

I don’t understand why these threads keep getting paywalled but we can always create new ones if we need to.

That sandwich cake must’ve contained thousands of calories! She probably ate it already too. So much mayonnaise and cream. Gemma’s favourite things!

Why does everything have to have cream or mayo in it? She seems like a sugary cereal with full fat milk type girl. Those are packed with calories.

Maybe I'm dumb but I still don't get how it's like 'having a sandwich on your plate'. She must cut the heftiest sandwiches around with four inch thick fillings.

I am pretty sure her portion sizes are massive. How do you make a sandwich out of that cake? Cream and mayo? So much of it too. Doesn’t sound good. I think you’re right that her sandwiches must be enormous.

'She seems like a sugary cereal with full fat milk type girl. Those are packed with calories.'

Niall famously said that when he can't sleep he goes downstairs and eats seven bowls of cereal! I think cereal will be just the start of Gemma's breakfast. She'll follow it with fried eggs, fried bread, six rashers of bacon and four sausages and then a big basket of Danish pastries. Coffee with full fat cream to accompany it.

Niall said that? Gross! And Gemma is the same.

That breakfast description made me laugh. She will treat is as a three course meal: cereal for a starter, drenched in full fat milk. Or even cream, as she seems to love it so much! Main would be a big fry up and she will use a stick of thick and buttery Irish butter for cooking. Dessert will be that pastry basket you mentioned, with a massive cup of coffee with full fat cream and of course sugar. Her coffee will be half coffee and half cream.

GROSS!

After that huge breakfast feast she will be waiting for a snack time and then for her gigantic lunch.

What’s for snack and lunch then?

I can’t believe Niall Pig said he eats seven bowls of cereal!

Snacks will be Mars bars, Twix, Snickers, Hersheys, huge family sized packs of greasy crisps like Wotsits. He's the kind of person who'll wolf down handfuls of cashew nuts because he thinks they're healthy.

Haha, cashew nuts are super high in calories. They’ll be those yogurt and chocolate covered ones too.

I think Niall and Gemma have similar eating habits. Lots of snacking and greasy food!

I wonder how Gemma’s calorie deficit diet is going? She probably gave up already and is back at scoffing down at least 5000 cals a day.

This thread is making me feel better about myself. Maybe I am not that unhealthy after all.

That breakfast described is massive, so imagine what her dinners are like?

Niall eats seven bowls of cereal? Who does that? And do people eat cereal with cream?

Gemma is a gross and unhealthy girl. It’s funny when she rants about her favourite fattening foods.

Someone on her blog told her that Niall was a terrible example because he perpetuates the stereotype of the drunken Irishman and she went off like a rocket.

Of course she got mad! 😂

She probably thinks he is a great example for his fans. She copies his habits on daily basis.

Anything new about Hogran or Fataldi? Or Gemma.

No, but here's a Public Service Announcement for the OP' misusage of slang:

Next one is going to be called ‘Lardass thread’ then.

So Niall, Lewis and Gemma are lardasses?

Lardo and lardass are both widely used slang phrases for pie eaters so please stop trying to police the thread.

She probably goes for those Bottomless Sunday Lunches some London pubs serve. As much roast beef, Yorkshire Pudding, greasy gravy, roast potatoes, honey roast veg and pigs in blankets as you can eat in the space of two hours. Dessert will be a stodgy British pud like syrup sponge with custard or hot chocolate fudge cake and double cream, or a massive slice of apple pie.

She never disappoints! And Megan's does do Bottomless Brunches where you just eat on and on and on.

Anon asked:

Can't wait until the restaurants open back up in May. Which one will you go to first? I'm going to Pizza Express to have my favourite Americana Hot.

Lardo Replied:

omg yesss same ! i miss being able to sit in there ,like ordering takeaways is not the same.. we already talked we’d go to megan’s for a brunch ! they have this lovely veggie brunch and also their half baked cookie dough is so nice. but yeah then other places like spoons.. and wagamama !!! miss that one , vegan katsu curry and kare burosu ramen are delicious

Horrifying! She will love her bottomless brunches! Stuffing her face like she’s been starving for months. In reality she will have breakfast before that too. How many platefuls would she be able to devour?!

She will be going for those brunches every weekend.

“Lardo Commonly an insult describing an extremely fat person who cannot wield their habit of overeating. The lardo satiated his gluttonous cravings by ravenously chomping down on a pack of doughnuts.”

Sounds like Niall, R30! 🤣🤣🤣

Definitely Niall-like behaviour! Lewis would be the same.

Today's gluttonous comment when an anon asked if she'd had the bottomless brunch Megan's restaurant serves:

i haven’t ! i love the veggie brunch with some sides like smoked salmon or hashbrown rostis. but now i’m curious about the bottomless brunch. i shall give it a go next time sounds delicious 🤩 i wish i could go today too haha!

She got so excited about that bottomless brunch! Even the emoji with the star-eyes! She wants to eat as much as she can. Normal brunch clearly isn’t enough for this greedy hog anymore. She is hilarious! And of course she wants to go today...

Notice that the massive veggie brunch she gets isn't enough and she has to supplement it with sides of greasy rosti and smoked salmon.

Exactly! And then that cookie dough she mentioned, too. That one consists of about 1500 calories. Her belly is expanding.

Massive brunch with TWO SIDES and a dessert! Gross piglet.

1500 cals i’m that cookie dough? Really?

Niall recognising his fat fan! He looks happy.

SPAZZZZZZZZZZZ

He is so gross.

Alcoholic Niall has partnered with Guinness to encourage people to sit at home on their asses chugging high calorie beer all day! He couldn't get any other type of campaign. No clothes brand wants a lardo repping their range.

That is so funny! Of course beer. He would be too bloated to represent any clothing brands. He will be chugging beer in front of the camera.

Beer is so fattening and one of the reasons Niall Hogran became a lardo.

The video clip shows him lumbering into a pub. He proved his huge ego yet again in his response to the tweet. He called himself 'a handsome Irish man'. I don't think so, Niall. Fat and gross more like.

Here's his bragging tweet. It only got 60k likes, showing that his fandom is shrinking.

Pretty embarrassing that he is performing in a pub when he is an alcoholic and overweight. Far from handsome. His fans are pleased.

I think Gemma is happy.

Urgh, he is headling a pub! How are the mighty fallen. All pubs are shut in the UK so this is an utterly ridiculous set up. Look at his massive fat greasy face too.

R49

Holy shit. He looks 45 years old in that pic.

He is so ugly. How old is he again?

Only 27, R51. He looks 20 years older.

Absolutely disgusting! He looks so bloated all the time. What a fatso!

He is so rich and looks like that? Yuck.

Just vile. He must know he has a reputation for being an alcoholic and he just compounds it by partnering with Guinness.

Why is he so embarrassing? Horrible role model. He shouldn’t have any fans.

Is Lewis Fataldi alcoholic too?

Paywalled again. Anyone who didn’t find the new thread yet.