Let's Be an Episode of Desperate Housewives

I'm the "Yes," Mary Alice says to wrap up the episode as we see montages of the cast

I'm abortions and I do not exist of this show

I'm Teri Hatcher

I'm the original thread that got three responses.

I'm the way Marcia Cross' face and hair never move

I'm Brenda Strong. Get used to hearing me drone on as the narrator of this shitshow.

I'm Marc Cherry and yes I'm a Republican!

R7 "somewhat conservative". And somewhat overweight.

I am the slapstick humor antics for Teri Hatcher

I'm that nosy bitch Martha Huber

I'm the self-satisfied, cat-licking-the-cream-off-its-whiskers tone of Mary Alice's every voice-over. I think that I'm a lot more clever and/or naughty than I really am.

I'm the plotlines that didn't work and would all of a sudden just end when they got negative feedback.

I’m the Munsters house. I’m disguised in pastels like no one would actually recognize me…but they do.

I'm Felicity Huffman's SAT Prep book

I'm the person who so conveniently gets killed

I'm Felicity Huffman dressing like a man in the first few seasons

I'm creepy George Williams

I don't watch that shit.

I’m Porter Scavo, having wet dreams of Mike Delfino fucking me.

I'm the underrated sexy Mark Moses

I am Edie Britt. I am electrocuted because that fat bitchy queen Marc Cherry doesn’t like my portrayer.

I'm Zach Young's BIG SWINGING DICK. If Andrew only knew...

I’m Laurie Metcalf holding up a supermarket.

R23 I'm that Emmy Laurie Metcalf fucking deserved

I’m Noah Taylor, daring Zach to shut off my life supp…

I'm Jesse Metcalfe's gorgeous tits.

I’m Doug Savant in a leopard print speedo.

R26 I'm the inexplicably hired attractive waiter Jesse Metcalfe's subsequent Hallmark TV career

I’m Kyle Searles, the original gardener Gabrielle boinked. I was recast because I wasn’t soap opera looking.

I'm five old hags fighting as the "gay Republican" Marc Cherry sucks on Jesse Metcalfe's titties.

I'm Andrew's hot boyfriend Justin, played by Ryan Carnes

I’m the script that Alfre Woodard must NOT have read before agreeing to do this show.

I'm Demi Lovato's little sister playing Eva Longoria's weight challenged daughter.

I'm Ryan Carnes playing a brief role while on a break from General Hospital.

I’m the box James Denton had to stand on when standing next to practically everyone.

I’m the fucking Scavo pizzeria doing my best to kill this show stone dead.

I’m Vanessa Williams - I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing here either.

I'm Rex and I cry when I ejaculate.