Gwyneth loved being teab*gged by Ben Affleck; shades Brad & Aniston

God, she's such a vicious cunt for no reason.

What moron told her to authorize this cheap biography? It's going to be the most self-destructive book since Krispy Noem wrote about murdering her own dog.

Marie Antoinette with hillbilly genes.

She is truly a disgusting piece of shit.

And now she’s old and withering and no one cares.

And there’s nothing worse than an old narcissist.

Teabagging is resting your balls on your partner's closed EYES. That's why Gwyneth thought of it as a beauty tip.

Matt Damon enjoyed this too.

She thinks she's relevant.

More so than Babs.

This is not an authorized biography. It seems more like she doesn't really care so good for her. It's interesting though, because Kevyn's dead so he can't sue for the teabagging comment. The other quotes are "Paltrow appeared to make another pointed remark" No proof. Then we have "According to someone familiar with the discussion, Gwyneth allegedly told her" It's all conjecture under the cover your ass school of writing.

Wait, I'm not understanding this. I read it that he would teabag her and I thought that was balls dipped in your mouth and wondered how could a woman teabag. Like with her boobs in his mouth?

Stay out of this one honey. We might as well be talking abiut Tetley where you're concerned.

I’m usually a priss pot but I did this to my ex once and for a short while, I was the fun one.

It doesn’t change the fact that Ben Affleck is a FAG

With a SCRAWNY ass

Has Blythe Danner commented?

I hate that Blythe Danner has to see this filth. She’s too old to deal with stuff like this.

I wonder if the book will mention Donovan Leitch, Luke Wilson, Scott Speedman, and Robert Sean Leonard.

Gwennie's steamed clam sure got around.

It's not that weird. Anna Faris said on her podcast that she loves the smell of musky unwashed balls. Not all women are repulsed by male genitals.

And that was decades ago... Imagine them low-slung taters now?

Gwyneth attributes her stunning complexion to Ben's scrotal sweat, which she regularly applied during their three-year relationship. Not only was Ben's ball sweat a significant contributor to her luminous complexion, but his large testicles also functioned nicely as a face mask, effectively reducing inflammation and leaving her positively glowing. I saw the results for myself many times. Isn't my daughter ingenious?

[quote] According to someone familiar with the discussion, Gwyneth allegedly told her, 'He's dumber than a sack of s**t,'" the book claims

Big talk from a woman with just one semester of college under her belt.

[quote]'So when we go to restaurants and order caviar, I have to say to Brad, 'This is beluga and this is osetra.'"

Don't you hate it when you have to explain!

[quote]Anna Faris said on her podcast that she loves the smell of musky unwashed balls

I think we can guess where she learned to love that

[quote]I hate that Blythe Danner has to see this filth. She’s too old to deal with stuff like this

You don't think Blythe had to teabag a few nutsacks herself when she was working her way up? She probably gave Gwynnie pointers

Gwynnie's stunning complexion, thanks to three years' worth of Ben's ball sweat.

If '90s Ben Affleck ever teabagged me, I wouldn't have been able to stop myself from going straight for his ass. Do we think Gwyneth ever took the initiative to eat his hole? It's organic, after all.

[quote] I hate that Blythe Danner has to see this filth.

Why? She’s been 50 for 50 years.

Everyone is laughing at her and she thinks it’s applause.

This book has everything.

Gwyneth has probably eaten ass once in her life, r23. Just so she can talk about it at parties and feel modern.

Low hanging fruit 🍒

Gwyneth is uninhibited in sex. She surely ate ass and loads already at Spence.

This candle smells like Ben's ball sac.

Maybe Goop will come out with tea bags shaped like a scrotum? For that under eye puffiness.

R31- I’ll take 10 please.

[quote] Gwyneth is uninhibited in sex. She surely ate ass and loads already at Spence.

There weren't many loads to take at Spence. It's all-girls.

She admitted on Howard Stern that she cheated on Brad Pitt after they were engaged and it devastated her parents, especially her dad.

I actually believe she said that shit.

Remember “Fish Stick”?

That happened for a reason.

And a shot out to Bruce! Hope he’s doing well. He’s a lovely man.

[quote] And a shot out to Bruce! Hope he’s doing well. He’s a lovely man.

He's fine! He sends his love!

I'm sure she said that she loves it when the current husband Brad sticks his finger in her butt, this was shade to Chris Martin insinuating that he was boring in bed.

Lying, stealing, cheating. And bragging about it all.

This cunt appears to have zero moral fiber. Cluster B without a doubt.

Why would anyone want to spend a precious moment of life with this garbage?

Gotta love the high school dropout calling others dumb,

For all of her posturing, I don’t think I’ve ever heard her say one thing profound about politics, art, literature, All of her drivel is at the most basic, surface level of average material.

If you’re gonna cunt, do it well and know you’re shit. She’s the prototype for Blake Lively only with better showbiz connections. Her whole career is an ode to mediocrity.

I can't imagine her having anything other than boring vanilla sex while thinking it's amazing.

Whatever. I believe her about Pitt.

His physical beauty is breathtaking and that he’s aging is just another asset to it.

But I find it very easy to believe that his beauty masks a personality that’s not all that exciting.

[quote] She’s the prototype for Blake Lively only with better showbiz connections.

Blake aspires to be an influencer as big as Gwyneth. So does Megan Sussex.

I have to admit I cackled at the Brad Pitt quote

I’m sure she’ll have great chemistry with Timmy in Marty Supreme.

Same, r23. I would've been a dirty filthy whore with 90s Ben Affleck.

Horrifying human.

R13 what about Apple & Orange? They must be walking around the Hamptons with paper bags over their heads

[Quote] But I find it very easy to believe that his beauty masks a personality that’s not all that exciting.

#METOO

“ A blowjob is a great way to make a man feel like a man!”

Actual quote from Gwyneth.

He’s gross

I'd climb Ben like a tree I don't care if he's douchy. He would never want me but it's nice to dream. .

As for Brad is it the sensitivity chip missing according to Aniston or is he dumb or both? But he can't be that dumb he routinely participates in driving big deal movies, or as Executive Producer is that strictly money? Idk I would think EP was just money in the old days but not today?

Brad has a production company and a wine vineyard. That doesn't make him smart but since he's so famous I'm sure he has advisors/star fuckers that are intelligent enough to steer him in the right direction.

Too bad he can't get any advisors for his love life.

He has been with that woman who is a model or something for what seems like a couple of years and they keep it very low profile. So he has at least learned to keep a relationship private.

It is often reported that Brad left college 2 credit short of his degree, and in his last semester. First of all. that is a STUPID MOVE. He didn't have anything great lined up. He wasn't quitting for some spectacular opportunity. 2nd, he never went back to get the 2 credits and his diploma. People do this - 10 years after the dumb move. 3rd - I think if you scratched around the official story might not be true. Maybe he was in his senior year, but far short of credits, because he's a non academic pretty blond. Dumb.

But was it dumb? He’s a successful wealthy actor.

Did she get tea bagged by Weinstein?

R55, what was his major? Please don't say architecture.

R56 good point.

R55 I think it worked out just fine for him.

I'm dreading the moment that white-woman is going to bring out her autobio out in a bi-lingual Spanish/English version