Elders, tell you about the absentminded, old-people things you do

Twat

OP -- I bet it sucks being so young, losing your mind, and not even retired yet. Whew!

Burnout, insomnia, stress can definitely mimic the symptoms of early stage dementia. Been there! It was the one time I quit a job without having another one lined up. Two concerned close friends actually staged a sitdown intervention and urged me to do it.

Go into a room in your home and forget why.

Thanks, R3. I think this is my issue.

I believe that if I were truly demented, I wouldn’t even have the insight that I’m doing these things.

ChatGPT says:

Everything you described—the zoning out, the memory slips, the momentary confusion—those are classic signs of stress exhaustion, not early dementia. When the mind is overloaded for too long, it starts shedding tasks just to keep the lights on. You’re in survival mode, and your brain is doing its best with a frayed set of wires.

You’ve been carrying a lot. Working full-time, making big decisions, managing life on your own—all while being emotionally and mentally stretched thin. That kind of strain doesn’t just go away with a few days off. It takes time, and it takes some deliberate unwinding.

You need gentleness right now. Not more pressure. Not more fear. Just real, radical gentleness with yourself. It might help to:

• Make fewer decisions during your time off. Let your brain rest. Eat something simple, take a walk, watch something quiet.

• Write things down instead of trying to hold everything in your head. That’s not a failure—it’s self-support.

• Be around softness—soft lighting, soft music, soft blankets. Your nervous system is craving peace.

• Talk to someone if you can. Even a light, compassionate conversation can help ground you.

Most of all, don’t assume the worst. You’re not “losing it”—you’re overloaded. With rest, boundaries, and care, your clarity will come back.

You’re still here. You’re still you. Just tired. Be kind to that version of yourself.

Welcome to my world OP. This all happened so fast too.

I'm right there with you OP, though I would add to the fine guidance you've received, maybe try a bit of meditation. It does help quiet and center the mind, even if it's a just for 5 or 10 minutes. I had a therapist prompt me to do it - I didn't want to do it because I thought it was a bunch of crap - but it really does help calm me down.

Sometimes when I wake up in the morning I have no idea what day of the week it is.

Here are ten things you can buy at the store to help you over the rest of your vacation:

1. Magnesium supplement – helps calm the nervous system, especially before bed. Look for magnesium glycinate or citrate.

2. Chamomile or tulsi (holy basil) tea – both are naturally calming and can help with stress and sleep.

3. Dark leafy greens or pre-washed salad mix – easy to eat, full of nutrients to help replenish a stressed body.

4. Pre-cooked or rotisserie chicken – a low-effort protein source, comforting and grounding.

5. High-quality dark chocolate – a little square after dinner can be a moment of real pleasure without guilt.

6. Epsom salts – for a hot bath to help soothe the body and relax tight muscles. Bonus: magnesium absorbs through the skin.

7. A scented candle or essential oil roller – lavender, sandalwood, or eucalyptus can help reset the mind.

8. A small journal or notebook – to offload thoughts, record moments of clarity, or just scribble feelings without judgment.

9. A soft blanket or comfy socks – tactile comfort signals safety and rest to the nervous system.

10. A simple puzzle, adult coloring book, or deck of cards – a low-stakes activity that gently engages the brain without overstimulation.

This winter, since it was so cold out, I kept a pair or two of socks by my bed in case my feet should get cold in the middle of the night. I was awakened by the little dog to go out at 7AM, so I grabbed my socks and put them on, slid into my sliders and let her out. I went on about my routine, fed her, etc., wandered onto DL, the NYT, etc., and went outside to open the gate and let the sand hill cranes out to walk up the street and get their bird food from a neighbor.

It was noon before I realized I had two different socks on! One was a yellow hospital sock with bumps on the bottom, and the other was a regular white ankle sock. I mean, not only were they different colors, they were completely different sizes and different textures, and I didn't notice for five fucking hours.

Glad I didn't go anywhere!

R11 Those hospital socks with traction bumps are the bomb on wooden floors!

Just drink the bottle of wine, op, and tell us all again tomorrow.

Everybody is freaked out right now.

I received several Amazon earlier this week. One of them clearly had some kind of ooze on the outside of the box. I remembered ordering detergent and opened the box and found that it was indeed a new empty bottle of detergent with a cracked lid.

I was pissed off and went to my Amazon order history to complain about the delivery of the order. When I look at the order history, I don’t see any order of the detergent. I remembered having it in the order cart, and decided I must not have completed the order, but was confused on why they sent it to me anyway. No matter what, I was glad I hadn’t actually paid for it.

Later, I realized I had ordered it, but from Woot, so I did lose $5. The only upside is that I have left the soiled box in my garage and the space now has the scent of Midnight Breeze.

I hate that feeling of old man confusion.

“I received several Amazon packages earlier this week.”

“it was indeed a now empty bottle of detergent with a cracked lid.”

OP, how’s your sleep? I was diagnosed with sleep apnea after losing my keys, my glasses, and several “stunts” like the one you described at the register.

I now have a CPAP machine. It took some getting used to, but I’ve never known such recharging, refreshing sleep. I had to cut back on the booze (the pandemic introduced red wine in a whole new way). I also started taking Wellbutrin for some mild depression.

My life has changed considerably. — Wellbutrin helps with focus, my sleep is revolutionized, and I’ve lost 20 pounds.

I was pretty worried about dementia — the slow increase of losing things, the irritability.

Anyhow, time for a thorough medical review, at the very least.

Sometimes it’s boredom. I’m serious; some of this stuff is so repetitive it’s hard to keep caring about it.

[quote]Go into a room in your home and forget why.

Destinesia. It happens to everybody. I went to the supply room at the office once and forgot what I needed. The mail clerks could read the look on my face and burst out laughing.

I log onto DL and wonder why I did.

R10 Fuck ChatGPT! Stop trying to meld us with the AI Zombieverse.

OP, this sounds just like stress to me but maybe seeing a doctor will help you feel better psychologically?

Op, why are you paying with cash? No wonder you're confused.

I can really lose it over customer service bullshit.

I never used to be this way ever... fortunately COVID turned my head in the direction of "None of these underpaid employees should even be showing up... be glad they're here"

So shut up.....NOBODY wants to hear it.

A few weeks ago I was walking through the grocery store and realized that I was holding something in my hand. It was my tv remote control.

Sounds like a temporary strain. Good job getting time off. Get all the rest & ease you can. Eat well. Breathe deep. Eat as many hot meals as possible. If you can get outside and spend time on the earth, do it.

Forget to breathe.

R11, I went to work once with two different shoes. I didn't notice until I was getting out of the cab. Both were black loafers but one was suede and the other was leather.

I hate driving somewhere and once getting there, really have no memory of the actual driving part. It's like I got in the car and I am now getting out with nothing in between.

I have to start tripping over things before I remember I'm wearing my reading glasses when walking outside.

[quote] Then I get back in my car and forget what my next stop was supposed to be

At least you remembered where you parked it.

What’s absolutely tragic, OP, is that you’ve lost the capacity to express yourself in the past tense,.

I booked a holiday. My flight day arrived and I got to the airport on time and the flight was smooth sailing. The next day I was walking down Boulevard Haussmann when I remembered I dislike Paris and everything Haussmann did to destroy it. And there I was!

Last month I spent a Saturday afternoon on self care and grooming. I was feeling and looking so fine. I felt frisky. So I had a light dinner then went to the gay sauna. I was walking around the corridors and nobody smiled at me. Nobody looked back at me after passing. I went into a cabin and left the door open, and lay down on my back with my full erection visible in the ray of light from the hall. Nobody made any moves on me. Then I remembered I am 67 and out of shape, and have a 5 inch boner.

Get more sleep.

That doesn't happen to me OP and I'm considerable older than you. I have done forgetful things but even when I was much younger. Like having glasses on the top of my head and thinking I lost them.

I think you're just enormously tired and stressed out as others have said. It does not have to do with being 55.

R32 It sounds like you're a character from 19th-century French literature, which is really impressive!

R36 Je vous remercie bien, mon bon monsieur.

It's also snark about this silly OP.

55 is not elder or old- So stop with that shit! You are making it worse. You are a vibrant 55, OP!

I am 45, and when I get REALLY stressed (also due to work- generally) I feel the same way-

They KEY thing for me as I get older is SLEEP. If I do not get at least 7 hours, I feel 10% worse per hour that I did not hit that threshold.

You are beautiful, OP!

I’m old and I slap people’s faces randomly and viciously

^^^After a certain age you realize that everyone deserves a vicious slap.

I've done this all my life and it's because I'm in the habit of doing one thing while thinking about something else. It's a positive skill if yiu have to do a lot of multitasking, or are in a situation where distracting yourself improves your endurance, but not so good when you need to focus on one sustained task.

R1 is a fucking asshole.

R28, I did that once fairly recently. I slept through my alarm and ended up half an hour behind schedule. After showering and getting dressed, I headed to work and as I walked through the parking lot, I noticed something was off in my balance. I looked down and saw that I had slipped on two different loafers. They were both black but noticeably different in shape and heel size. I turned right around and headed back home.

I’m like r30, thinking I need my glasses when in fact I just need to take my reading glasses off.

R32, don't you hate when that happens?

Burn out has been horrible. Every time I think I’m climbing out, some little inconvenience at my new job sends me into a spiral.

Anyway, I went to World Market as a treat yesterday after a wild morning. Yes, MARY. The woman at register asked for my phone number and I wasn’t really listening. I gave her my address.

OP, you're a bit young to be experiencing these type of symptoms, all kidding aside.

R38 while you do sound like a lovely person who gives quality advice, I regret to inform you that as per DL standards everyone over 40 is an elder.

I am enforcing that standard now so I don’t need to enforce it then.

Don't worry, OP. When I got home late yesterday afternoon....I walked up to my front door lost in thought, pressed the button on my car fob, and wondered (for a moment) why I didn't hear the deadbolt "click". LOL. I'm 58.

R49, I've done that. Wouldn't it be nice if we could get house keys like that? No more struggling with arthritic hands.

R21 I think you’re onto something with the ChatGPT. Even more broadly our interdependence/overdependence on technologies like these. The brain is programmed for efficiency and could “prune” the neural networks that enable us to navigate, craft structured narratives, remember and retain simple but important things like passwords and telephone numbers. I

know that some individuals feel that the brain is more free for creative and analytical things, but I don’t see that in friends, family or colleagues. They seem strangely passive and vacant, as though a nanny has done too much for them. Situational awareness isa pretty vital aspect of life, and I see it diminishing in so many people. You can’t mention it without someone snapping “you’re just old fashioned!”.

I wish more futurists understood science better.

[quote]Even more broadly our interdependence/overdependence - on technologies like these. The brain is programmed for efficiency and could “prune” the neural networks that enable us to navigate, craft structured narratives, remember and retain simple but important things like passwords and telephone numbers.

I've felt that for awhile about my navigation system: like I'd drive off a cliff if Google Maps told me too instead of following common sense (stay on a main road even if GM says some cow path or country lane is quicker). I'm glad it's not just me that stumbles around on auto-pilot all the time

R52 Also semi- and soon fully-autonomous driving. It feels like those who use it are electing to assume risk on behalf of others on the road. Yet I understand that it’s potentially safer than human drivers. My concern is for drivers who are accustomed to assistive technologies on the road, yet driving in a vehicle without them, like a rental or borrowed vehicle.

I know of a few people who pulled into a lane at high speed into the path of another vehicle, nearly causing a pile-up, then sheepishly admitting their other car has lane departure warnings that beep and light up when a vehicle is approaching in the adjacent lane. I probably sound like an old crank, but I do wish people stilled checked their side and rear view mirrors, used turn signals, and didn’t roll through stop signs. I also wish drivers would not fiddle with their smartphones or the giant screen in the center console of many vehicles. Just watch the road, man!

^^ “wish people still checked their side and rear view mirrors”

"Thank you. Enjoy your meal."

"You, too."

One morning before being fully awake and with no glasses on I brushed my teeth using Retin-A. The tube was red colored like my toothpaste tube.

I can’t wait for a bottle of wine when Lent is over.

I type "tell you about" instead of "tell us about" and nobody notices.

I noticed, but I'm too depressed to care.

I just spent about 20 seconds looking for my reading glasses only to realize I had them on. At least it didn't go on too long.

I've had "where's my phone?!" panic moments while talking on it.

I dont remember much after 1:00 am.

When I’m really exhausted, sometimes I’ll do tasks in reverse—you know, like putting my laundry in the dishwasher and my cat in the washing machine!?!

I have been "organizing" my work room. For months. It has never been as jumbled as it is today. I'm an expert stacker/sorter but it looks like chimps have been throwing my possessions around. Waiting on delivery of shelving. Whatever doesn't fit there goes out. It's completely nonsensical.

I forget which day it is. I totally thought today was going to be Saturday, and when I opened my laptop, it said, "Friday". I had to check with Alexa to make sure.

Are you saying you should have put your cat in the dishwasher, r63?

When I think of absent-minded, my brain quickly focuses on 25 year olds, not elders. Excessive screen time has atrophied their brain sensors.

Years ago, I recall thinking (I recall something, yay) that the advent of cable messed with people's memories. When we were growing up during the pre-VCR and pre-cable era, you would see a film and pay complete attention to what was happening on the screen. When cable came along you knew the film was going to be replayed at least 30 times during the month, so you watched it half-paying attention or taping it then playing it back in bits. Our attention spans changed.

The same could be said for cell phones. We used to have to remember phone numbers now people don't even know their loved one's phone number by memory. Even the way kids learn today is so different than the way we were taught, the way we studied for tests or researched our term papers. I don't think the human brain thrives when everything is done for us.

[quote]When I’m really exhausted, sometimes I’ll do tasks in reverse—you know, like putting my laundry in the dishwasher and my cat in the washing machine!?!

One day I found myself trying to put a gallon of milk on the top shelf of the pantry. It was only the weight of the milk combined with the height of the shelf that made me snap out of a "fugue." I went to the refrigerator and found a box of cereal where the milk usually was placed.

I stuffed up with Easter. My gym posted signs with their opening hours 3 weeks prior to Easter. After the first weekend I thought Easter was over so I threw the signs away. I had a friend who was going to be in London for Easter so I asked how London was for that weekend and he told me it wasn't for another 3 weeks. Oops. I went back to the gym the next day to retrieve the signs but they were gone from the bins and no new signs were posted. I had thought rather than toss the signs I should give them back to the reception. Maybe if I had they could have educated me on the Easter dates. When I confessed my crime to reception I was told it was no big deal.

It's a combination of shifting from vacation mode to work mode, and likely being stressed out. Did you sleep well the last 2-3 days? To me being sleep deprived affects me attention capacity.

I put soda in my coffee instead of cream.

Surprised you still pay with cash.

[quote]My total at the pharmacy was $37 and I handed the cashier a $20 and then I just stood there. So did he.

The cashier probably never saw cash before. He was looking at you like "WTF is this, dude?"

Well, for several weeks now I keep forgetting to post on this thread.

I can see why they have those pill-holders -- whatever you call them -- now, because I can forget if I took a pill or not, 5 minutes after I took it (or not).

If I don't have the pills in one of those holders, then my trick is to take the pill with something other than water, so I'll remember I took it. Milk, for ex. That way I remember I took a small drink of milk. Not sure that makes sense to anyone but me.

I often go down to the laundry and forget the soap, the coins, whatever--then I'll come upstairs, not get what I came up to get, and go downstairs again. But then I did things like this when I was younger, too. I'm always thinking about something other than the mundane task at hand. I'm creative, and I tend to leave my mind open to whatever I'm creating, and I close it to what I'm doing, if it's boring.

Other than sleeping, I spend most of my time wondering where I put my [fill in the blank]. I feel very triggered every time I see those pictures of Gene Hackman’s house.

R76 Most people go through their daily routines on auto-pilot. So they are not paying attention when they are doing mundane routine acts. That happens to me sometimes when I go to the front of the house in the morning to do things like open the shades and water my plants and later can't remember if I only did the shades part and not the watering part, only to return to see that I did in fact do both.

Having one of those weekly pill dispensers with days of the week is a good way to be sure you don't miss or double dose the meds or supplements you take each morning or evening. Every Sunday morning after breakfast I fill up the morning and evening meds for each day.

Best week we ever had.

I get all this, but how many of us are also sillies smoking copious amounts of pot?

Apparently, it started with the title of this thread, OP

[quote] Elders, tell you about the absentminded, old-people things you do

For starters, OP, never read any ChatGPT. As soon as I detect AI, I stop reading. The prose is so anodyne, it'll kill your brain cells. It’s like Muzak in text. It’s deadly.

Forget what the other thing was.

I can't remember any of my passwords.

Starting to walk hunched over.

Chin up, tits out r84

I walk around looking for glasses that are perched on my head.

R19- I have Fridgenemia frequently. I stand there with the refrigerator door open and forget what I wanted from the refrigerator. This happens probably at least once a week.

I've noticed my attention isn't as good and it's not stress, tiredness or eyesight related. I've found myself purchasing wrong items. I backtracked to get some Rao's meatballs after staring and thinking about it, only to discover at home I'd gotten the lasagna (not too good). I got a greeting card that I thought had a golfers on it, but when I went to write in it I realized they were paddle boarders. (Why was the lake green like a putting green? 🧐) I'm sure I could come up with more examples if I think about it.

When posting on DL these past couple of years, I've noticed I words more than I used to. I have to be careful to go back and proof. I assume it's attention-related, too.

It might have to do with patience, too. I used to be pretty patient to the point that I suffered some fools, not so much now after menopause.

^ I omit more words than I used to

And, no, I didn't do it deliberately. I didn't have the patience to proof that paragraph.

After I read this study I broke out the essential oil diffuser and ordered a set of the oils used in the study., rotating them nightly. We'll see

[quote] We used to have to remember phone numbers now people don't even know their loved one's phone number by memory.

Or our own. Yet I still remember the seven digit numbers of my childhood friends.

The only phone number I have memorized is my parents' landline number that they've had for over forty years.

Thank you for posting that, r90. Both parents and at least four aunts and uncles on both sides of the family had dementia-related illnesses. I'm 60 and I'm willing to try anything within reason. I've already been using a diffuser with peppermint oil for anxiety and it seems to seems to work. I have it on my nightstand.

I'm sorry to hear about your family's experience with dementia, r88. My mom has Alzheimer's and is in memory care these days. As for me, I have one APOE4 allele which significantly raises my chances, so I try to focus on brain health in all the ways I can at this point (mid 50s). My biggest challenge is good sleep, and of course that's one of the most important things to have in your day to day life for brain health and cognitive longevity

R94- Eating a healthful diet is important too- a good variety of plant 🌱 foods.

Two most important factors for cognitive health as you age are a healthy diet and a good sleep routine.

R90/94 - I've avoided testing for the APOE4 gene. I learned about it a few years ago when one of the Hemsworth brothers tested positive for two alleles and took some time off work to reprioritize and focus on health.

May I ask which company you used for the testing? It could buy peace of mind. My grandmas were sharp until the end; DK if my grandfathers would have developed symptoms since they died in their 60s. Maybe it skips a generation. Genetics are such a crapshoot.

Even if you have a genetic disposition for it, a good lifestyle can significantly mitigate your odds in developing it.

I was disappointed to not be able to access my shopping mall at night until I remembered it was not Thursday night as I thought it was.

R97 - I did a DNA test with either Ancestry or 23andMe (I've used each over the years) and the results either came back with the AP0E info included, or it was part of the more extensive genome results I received after submitting the raw results data from the DNA test to an online Genome Analysis Tool (I think it was Dr Rhonda Patrick's - I'll post a link).

The first thought after I wake up is frequently "can't wait to go to sleep tonight."

Ok that's not absentminded but it is an old people thing.

Went to a potluck for gay seniors. Turn out was great -- about 60-70 guys. When it was time to leave, I must have said, "honey, let's go!" to five or six guys until I finally found my husband. It wasn't so much as senility of failing eyesight as it was the fact that they all looked the same. Fortunately, he was wearing a name tag.

Showed up at a party a week early.

Not absent minded but practical. I have sisters but they have their own health concerns. Who will take care of me if I come down with cancer or Alzheimer's?

Nobody.

Looking into assisted suicide options. Switzerland is expensive but I have the money. Here as in Vermont you have to go through a lot of shit first.

^11k in Switzerland and you don't have to be terminal. I don't know how much it is in Vermont for non-residents (Vermont allows non-residents) but it has to be less than 11k. You do have to be terminal in Vermont.

I called the dishwasher the blender...