The Gays and Tennis - Part 181 Clay Season

Very weak^^

DJOKOVICH IS WASHED!!!!!

ZERO TITLES THIS YEAR........ MARK. MY WORDS.

So far

Jack Draper is the new brand ambassador for Burberry.

He needs to be the new brand ambassador for Nasty Pig.

Where did Anisimov get those titties?

Colto

Colto pit

What do we know about Colto? Is he a MAGA? And where is new DL boyfriend Camilo this week?

He looks MAGA. Trashy.

Ugo (Camilo) just beat Hugo (Gaston) in the first round of the Monte Carlo qualies and plays Medjedovic in the second round of the qualies on Sunday. If he makes it through the qualies, then he'll play Flavio in the first round of the main draw.

speaking of Flayvah, he's in the final of Romania

the curse of the PP continues

DL Fave Brooksby takes out ODS Tommy in a tight 3-setter

furry

Our comely Camilo just beat meathead Medjedovic in straight sets, so he's through to the main draw, and hopefully back on to our screens!

Brooksby.

Brooksby team.

Flavah fights off a scrappy Baez to win his first ATP title.

'E is very 'appy!

Correction, Camilo next plays OnlyFans Muller in the first round of the Monte Carlo main draw.

Are J.J. Wolf and Colto related?

Flayvah

Boring American plays boring American for title on dull American clay in humid American city.

Houston team or Charleston team?

Tiafoe's boring? Of course in most languages, to be bored is a reflexive verb.

Fayez Sarofim & Co. U.S. Men's Clay Court Championship team.

He is lately—he’s no fun anymore.

Lovely to see 'Dicky Gasket' get a win in his farewell tour at the event where he started his ATP journey... all the way back in 2002!

Holger Woon.

Watch Brooksby win this, man oh man.

Tennis. You never know.

Brooksby rolls over Big Foe 4 and 2

Big Foe is a Big FLOP.

Told ya he is no fun anymore

Flopos Francis

Flopos Tiafoe

F. Tiafoe

Did y'all see the empty, empty stands for the Bucharest final. Not a good look.

Holger at R26 is the same color as the clay.

[quote] After Rafael Nadal rejected the $10 million offer, Elon Musk made a new proposal of $20 million to Jannik Sinner. However, Sinner’s next reaction shocked everyone.

[quote] However, much to the surprise of the public, Jannik Sinner did not respond to Musk’s offer in the way many had anticipated. Rather than eagerly accepting the offer or publicly engaging in the conversation about financial gain, Sinner chose to take a different approach. In a statement that echoed his values of integrity and purpose, Sinner humbly declined the offer, saying, “While I appreciate the generosity, I believe there are other ways to make a meaningful impact that go beyond money. I prefer to focus on my craft and continue to grow as an athlete, contributing to the world through my actions on and off the court.”

[quote] Novak Djokovic, Elon Musk and others should grasp this: fame and public affection are not the same thing

[quote] The tennis legend couldn’t be more famous, but seems puzzled that adoration eludes him. Likeability is complex

Brooksby wins! He got a **wild card** into **qualifying** for heaven's sake. And was down three match points in three straight matches! Well deserved.

All PPs need to be banned from tournaments.

What did Musk offer Sinner and Nadal for that much money, R34? A blow job? That "article" reads like AI garbage.

Floptsastic performances from the usual flakes today in Monte Carlo:

Felix flops timidly to Daniel Altmaier, Korda kapitulates to Lehecka, and Flopavalov fades fast against Giron OTGA.

Wins for Musetti, Berrettini, La Monf, Muller, and Tabilo.

The DL Dubs Dream Tean of Legz+ and Big Jack D get a great win over Pornstache and Korda.

[quote] Floptsastic performances from the usual flakes

The Flopai.

Fuck, Lore is handsome!

Lorenzo is dreamy except for that disgusting mole

We agree, R42. May you be favored by the Fates.

Mopsy joins the Flopsies.

I guess Giron of the 'gros derrière' is the last American standing after 1 day? I don't think Tommy P. and T. Fritz are playing Monte Carlo

Baby Wuud and baby Carlitos.

R45, Tiafoe (avec le plus gros derrière) and Nakashima are still standing.

Only because their Round of 64 matches haven't been played yet.

Legz+

ADF cakes

Mopsy adductors

Colto looks like a younger version of DL boyfriend Tommy

Colto is trashier and more MAGA than Tommy. The tattoos are tacky. And his hair is stringy. Tommy iOS clean cut and non MAGA

Camo hat on a country club tennis court? For shame.

Colto

dayum

[quote] Tommy iOS

Is he on the same operating system as Pliskbot?

Fuck him. We like the American boys that are not MAGA. Daddy, Tommy, Big Foe and Giron.

The male tennis physique is now all about the core —they are all doing pretty much the same workout regime.

Where are the receipts that Colto is MAGA?

Camo gear everywhere.

Hon do you need to go any further than the camo hat and trash tattoos?

yeah, as I a matter of fact, I do

Colton’s skin at R55 and R56 is as white as Draper’s.

Let’s pull up his voting record in Pima County.

Tommy and Taylor's taste in women screams MAGA.

Bad headshot

They are liberal trashy entertainment wannabes. Neither has ever posted a single MAGA push. Tommy was at a Black Lives Matter protest. They are also both good friends with Tiafoe who is definitely not MAGA.

He’s from a very blue county, but it’s also small and rural. 🤔

Why are Daddy and Tommy not playing Monte Carlo?

I'd like to claim Camilo for myself. I don't wanna share with DL.

La Monf turned the match Monday with an amazing, age-defying point starting at O:59.

R71 That ain't happenin', honey. I discovered Camilo. I made him. HE'S MINE.

[quote]Why are Daddy and Tommy not playing Monte Carlo?

I don't know about Tommy but Fritz withdrew because of an ongoing abdominal injury

Please. An American has never won Monte Carlo…what’s the point?

Tough crowd. Korda (#24) losing to Lehecka (#28) is hardly flopping.

The Giron ass....

RFC team or Berrettimi?

Berrettimi until I'm blue in the face!

A duo of agreeable winners - both called Tomas - in quick succession: Etcheverry over ubercunty Moutet, Legz+ over Baez.

Hopefully Matteo can make it a trio.

GRANDE MATTEO!

The RFC continues on his truly epic flopulent run of piss-poor losses since the AO!

Fils is up a break in the 3rd against Griekspoor

Flayvah thru 4 and 2 over Lajovic

Pornstache Team or Citybus Team?

GOTGA Team oir BJD Team?

Double breadstick win for BJD. Looking fearsome.

[quote] The RFC continues on his truly epic flopulent run of piss-poor losses since the AO!

Flopos Zverev.

F. Zverev.

Pornstache team.

GOTGA Team only for the Great Ass.

Fils lookin fine

Big Jack

Sad to see Giron of the Great Ass leave, but at least he lost to good guy Jack Draper. Pity Citybus won.

Is that Matteo's brother seated by his coach? It looks like it. That guy is hotter than Matteo.

Weird thing is that they look nothing alike.

Which ATP player do you think is the most frequent masturbator, and why?

Rune.

[quote] Rune.

Why Woon?

I watched a clip of the Matteo/Zverev 48 point rally and even MB's grunts are sexytime.

R93 Rune, but he probably needs his mommy to sit there and cheer him on.

ADF vs Etcheverry now.

Novaxx team or Tabilo team?

Tabilo wins in two. Novaxxx seems ready to retire. And he looked old today

O Novak, father time is on his way, getting closer

Pop-Pop disposes of Big Foe. The Americans went down quicker than the S&P 500 in Monte Carlo!

I’m shocked to learn in Americans are losing here.

Demon over Legz+ in 3. And Demon is adopting shorter shorts, too :-)

Fils over Flayvah 2 and 4

Lovely Lore over Lehecka in 3

Is Rudd clay specialist?

[quote] Is Rudd clay specialist?

Ruud is 250 specialist.

With a minor in Challengers.

I am GOAT.

Apropos of R102, I was curious to see just how badly American men have fared on clay courts this century. In singles only one American (Agassi) has even made it to the French Open quarters, going all the way back to 2003.

We don't have any country dominating men's clay based on the Monte Carlo round of 16, though with Sinner's return before the French Open, it looks like Italy will be IT.

Slutty Jack getting his tits out for Burberry.

He isn’t model material —outside of England

R112 I'd love to see what you look like. He's gorgeous in any country on the planet.

Tabilo!!!! The man! Thank you for beating Novaxx!!!!

Novaxx is both Tabilo and Vesely's little bitch If they double-teamed him, they'd make him air-tight!

R113 pretty in your eyes and model material are not the same thing. Model material is a particular thing—he ain’t got it.

R116 He's an actual model. This isn't up for debate.

An actual model! Well then, aren’t we all.

R118 No.

He's an actual model. Signed up to IMG. Facts are facts.

You ^ seem a bit tense. Relax.

Who cares?! If Jack continues thirst-trapping at this rate, he'll be giving us full frontal within the year...if Berrettini doesn't beat him to it.

I see what you did there R122. Tennis goes White Lotus.

Big Jack, pls don't shave your chest

a thing of beauty is a joy forever

No pecs. No nips. No service.

I don't get the hype over Jack Draper - looks wise- he will flop tennis wise- i know that as a fact

here's why

He will flop tennis-wise? He's already top 10 and 3 in this year's race. Seriously, some of you are just daft.

Pale Billy Crudup with greasy hair.

R6 Anisimova akways had these large breasts

The English are coming out for their boy.

Flayvah looks like a mouth breather

Jack Draper will drop out of Top 10 by year's end. His game just doesn't measure up to the rest of the group. Also the futness is not there

Fitness*

Flopos Draper

F. Draper

....

Objectively I think Draper is very good looking. However I don’t find him sexy. On the other hand, RFC A. Zverev is not conventionally good looking, but I find him sexy despite his personality and girlfriend-beating accusations.

there is no 'objective' in the realm of aesthetics, but I get your point

R133 we'll circle back at the end of year - pretty sure you're going to look foolish. Even with 2 significant periods out with injuries Draper's currently 6 in the world (based on 12 months' form).

I’ll take that bet any day

Captain!

Bootylicious Fils over Wooby 2 and 3

Cap'n Jack steals the 2nd from ADF!

Draper chokes…he’s the very model of inconsistency on clay.

Lethal in lavender - Carlitos getting his mojo back?

Stomps all over Altmaier: 6-3, 6-1.

Alcaraz needs a haircut. Why does he let his hair go?

Berrettimi or Musettimi?

Italian stallions, Matteo and Lore, going up against each other on Court Rainier III.

Sign me up, fellas!

And if you put a gun to my head, I'm Team Musettimi.

The beautiful brown skin of those two complements the red clay so well.

The Demon opens a can of whoop ass on Medvedev - a 6-2, 6-2 pasting.

If Nuno Borges can best Citybus we could be in for a full house of Non-Asshole Quarter Final matches!

Yay Demon!

Nuno team.

Si, per favore!

At least the chin hair goes some way to covering up the large mole.

now THAT'S a backside ... I mean, backhand

I love me some Demon! Yay.

[quote] Yay.

I’m so happy.

Draper lost - ' no surprise there

Draper flop

ADF Team or A Pop Team?

Carlitos Team or Bootylicious Team?

NSYG Team or Demon Team?

Lore Team or Titsy Team?

Carlitos team duh

ADF Team, Carlitos Team (The RFC needs to be dethroned from the No. 2 ranking ASAP!), Demon Team, Lore Team.

ADF team

Alcaraz (Garfia) team

Demon team

Musettimi

Thanks so very much for asking!

Carlitos! The model of what a champion should be.

R73 (swoons) with weak knees

R73 the unintentional bulge kills me

Convincing straight sets win for my boy, ADF, over Pop-Pop.

The Fils-Alcaraz match is shaping up to be a humdinger - 5 breaks of serve in the first 9 games! Fils now serving for the first set.

Great match. I wanted both to win. A poster in the last thread doubted Fils' potential to make it to the top 10, but I think we'll see that achieved easily by this summer or even sooner.

Humiliation for NSY Grigor - double-bageled in less than 45 minutes by Demon!

Musettimi.

Musettimi. Yay! I’m so happy. Bye, Citybus!

Lore makes it a Full House for my boys today!

Hung in there after a brutal beatdown by Stefanos in the first set, to scramble the second set, and dominate in the third.

[quote] Lore makes it a Full House for my boys today!

Same here. R161 also had the same “team” selections.

Wow. My Demon really crushed our NSY Grigor.

Hung in there…

Tee hee 😈

Justine Henin was in the house

Did she have a Hardenne for any of the players?

I unapologetically adore Henin.

Juju had a beautiful game, very natural. She was just a cheat...(coaching from the stands was illegal and she received it between every point)

ADF team or Alcaraz (Garfia) team?

Musettimi or Demon team?

ADF Team and Musettimi Team.

I wouldn't be displeased with a contrary result in either match. I have a feeling that with Demon's momentum this week, he might go on to win the whole thing and take a deserved, first 1000 title.

R181 Same. Happy that all the players I can't stand are out, lol.

I didn't realize Minotaur/Hitlerstache had not yet won a 1000.

R183 his best title was Acapulco (500) - twice. All his other titles have been 250s.

Apparently, rain will make it difficult for the Monte Carlo tournament to finish the games today and tomorrow. Fingers crossed.

[quote] All his other titles have been 250s.

As god wills.

Carlitos!

How can one man have that many prominent moles?

R188 *yawn*

R188 Go away.

Best match this tournament thus far. I haven't yet watched the Carlitos vs. ADF match.

Musettimi!

Is this where we talk about Bavarian International Tennis Championships?

Major BDE from Lore!

He loves to come back from a 1-6 first set!

Which players have big ass energy (BAE)?

Current contestants, active BAE division, in order of callipygian merit (YMMV):

Fils

Carabelli

Alcaraz

Giron

Monfils

ADF

McDonald

Mensik

Tiafoe

Hijikata

Struff

Mmoh

Shang

Tomic

Nishikori

Wawrinka

Well done

Carlitos' clay skills are very poor.

bend over, I'll drive

oh, my

I hate her but she's not a PP

Two beautiful brown men playing tomorrow. Which one will you be rooting for?

Lore Team

booTAY

....

r196, I'd add Moutet to your list. He's an ass, but dat ass!

Did Grigor do press after his drubbing? I haven't seen a single quote from him on X, not even on the Tennis Letter.

Alas, I’m afraid my beloved Demon will always break my heart just a little.

First set (convincingly) to Musetti. He's being mega-stingy with unforced errors

Alcaraz has raised his level in the second set and Musetti is getting frustrated. I love Musetti's new haircut but he look so different.

The whole crowd is transfixed on Lore's upper thigh being massaged during a MTO. The trainer's finger is about half an inch from Lore's cock.

Thank you, Getty images.

^^^^ lemme in there, I'll fix him

Thank god Alcaraz is now back to #2. As it should be!

Is this where we talk about Billie Jean King's cup?

Wuud learned to multiply times two.

Aw I feel bad for our Lome. Per DL, I am of course available to console him.

In the trophy presentation Carlitos is once again bulging magnificently.

^^^^ and Bob's your uncle

Monfils withdrew from Munich and was replaced by lucky loser DIego Dedura-Palermo. Separated at birth from Mopsy?

Woon team or ARV team?

Now that’s a butterface! Oy vey.

De Dong gran or Woobie team?

Porna Gojo

Legz

R225 He's dreamy, like TV soap star from 1987.

ARV looks like he's out of the Addams family.

R198- Alcaraz is clau specialist

Sinner's suspension is a great loss for Tennis

Shelton is all hype isn't he?

Public Service Announcement: Carlos is hung like a mofo

R232 Where's the proof

Carlitos' big bulge is literally everywhere, all the time.

As Johnny Mac famously said "YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS!"

Big bulge in Monte Carlitos

Mensik - champion in Miami to first round loser (to Hanfmann) in Munich. No-one seems capable of stringing two good tournaments together this season.

All that bulging and never a woman in sight.

Cutie Tomy is out. It makes me sad that he lost to Demon.

R237 Exactly.

Carlitos losing to a someone ranked outside of top 100 would be typical, lmao.

The UGOAT appears to be on drugs today - lots of random fits of laughter, exaggerated grunting, and general bizarre behaviour. Almost Bublik-esque.

R236, clay is Mensik's weak spot, as is the case with many players.

Meanwhile, Fils has become the youngest player ever to reach the quarters of the first three yearly ATP 1000 tournaments.

Another feeble performance from Big Foe. Won the first set convincingly against Munar... and then slowly deflated and ended up being broken 3 times in the final set. 52 unforced errors is shocking.

Big Flop

[quote] Big Flop

Flopos Foe

F. Tiafoe

R243 How could Tiafoe lose that? He looks so good in the first set. And this is Mugnar of all people!

[quote]Monfils withdrew from Munich and was replaced by lucky loser DIego Dedura-Palomero

He's even through to the next round because Shapo had to retire. Quite the lucky loser

Alcaraz struggled as I predicted. Alcaraz's level is so bad these days. He needed a TB to beat someone I've never even heard of. Just horrible.

Alcaraz is more focused on pool parties with his buddies.

R249 Exactly. His lack of focus is concerning.

Oh my God... we thought Harriet 'Poison' Dart was cunty... but she's gone CUNTOSPHERIC with this one!

So, so happy she lost!

I'm very happy for ADF. He is playing really well this season. He is #8 in the race.

Our sweet Mariano Navone outslugs Felix.

Love it when he wins - he's always so unabashedly happy.

I love both Felix and Mariano, so it was bittersweet.

Navone trail

[quote] Navone trail

Is that located in Argentina?

Zsa Zsa gets a win

Cinderello to Struffi to the woodshed love and 2

Bootylicious A Feast over PCB

I'm going to love the fuck out of Carlitos Alcaraz Garfias's career; because he's a joy to watch, and like 'until death do us part', its gonna be a rollercoaster of drama. Can't be easy to be in your 20's and living in the glare of fame

Martinez team or Fils team?

Woon team or Baez team?

Citybus team or Sebbie Korda team?

Surprisingly cute Medjedovic team or Wuud team?

Thank you ever so much for asking.

Fils team

Woon team

Sebbie team

Wuud team

This kid seems like he's going to grow into a total douche bag. Shapo retired against him, and the kid goes on a Ben Shelton x1000 type celebration while the injured Shapo skulks off.

Is this where we discuss the Mutua Open?

Tsitsipas is kinda hot. Sorry, I just can't help it. I like him.

^ IFHH

Tennis great Ana Ivanović, soccer legend Bastian Schweinsteiger facing marriage troubles

I think Citybus is hot too. I just find the personality to be a non-starter.

Quite a few uninspiring match ups today.

Good to see Casper outfox Cro Magnon ball-basher, Medjedovic, to round off the day.

Sissypass.

So what are we all gonna read into Alcaraz's post MC win quote:

"It's been a really difficult week with a lot of difficult situations. I'm really proud of my myself how I've dealt with everything. It's been a really difficult month for me on the court and outside. Coming here and seeing how the whole hard work has paid off, I'm really happy."

Harriet Dart seems to be a prize cunt.

R271, sounds like we may be hearing a coaching change from Alcaraz soon

FAA needs to get better coaches

[quote]Harriet Dart seems to be a prize cunt.

Thank Christ for new blood!

DIego Dedura-Palermo looks like that Icelandic singer- female - who was popular in the 90s

Is Djokovic playing the Barcelona Open?

Djokovic is skipping Barcelona, a 500.

Bjork , R276? Not that there were many internationally-famous female Icelandic singers in the 90s.

R275 long hair really doesn't suit Holger. Too lank and greasy!

R273 What is surprising is that Ferrero was not in Monaco or Barcelona. They are very close to where Ferrero trains.....something is up.

Munar team or K. Hemsworth team?

ADF team or Woobie team?

Alcaraz (Garfia) team or Djere team?

Fearnley Team or Demon team?

Munar, ADF, Djere (to mix it up), and Fearnley (The Elfin Edinburgher) Teams

Demon Team! I’m crushing on him right now

The subreddit tennis is VERY pro-Alcaraz and anti-Djokovic. They make fun of Djokovic and his right wing opinions, which I agree with. But then they are so far up Alcaraz' ass that any criticism gets a ton of downvotes. I posted that I don't see much progress, that he is still struggling with his previous issues (serve, consistency etc) and I got like 10 downvotes, lol. I like Alcaraz, but was I wrong? No. That subreddit is clearly full of fans who cannot admit that he still has issues. I like Alcaraz a lot, but he really needs to improve a lot if he wants a good season. I don't think he'll do well this year. Too many uncertainties. But as I said; I hope I'm wrong.

I mean I agree with making fun of Djokovic being right wing. If that wasn't clear, lol.

ADF keeps up his great form this season - a convincing straight sets win over Woobie.

Those legz... DAMN!

Is this where we discuss the Stuggart Open?

Stuggert?

Struggle?

Stuttgart?

Women's Stuttgart Open

or

Porsche Tennis Grand Prix

Zsa Zsa wins again

Ferrero is back.

DL Fave Navone out to Elf after bageling him in the first

R291 GOOD! The kid he beat was a complete "Celebration asshole." Also Zizou is so handsome in person too.

Zsa Zsa slapped that little bitch.

Marzipan over the UGOAT 4 and 4

Demon over Fearnley in straight sets.

Marzipan.

Just read that ADF has already won more tour-level matches in 2025 than he did in the entirety of 2025. Happy to see more of him.

Oops, I meant the entirety of 2024, of course.

My demon is on a roll! ♥️

Beauty and the Beast

Is Novax playing Barcelona?

I already told you that Novak is skipping Barcelona, a 500, this year. But I’m pursuing the title!

[quote] But I’m pursuing the title!

Are are you pursuing half the title, Casper, half of a 500?

I am defending my title here in Barcelona! It's a 500. I'm hopeful.

According to Wikipedia Papa Ruud “won twelve titles on the Challenger Series, but reached only one ATP Tour final, losing the 1995 Swedish Open in Båstad to Fernando Meligeni in straight sets.”

The Norwegian dream is alive and well in our Casper!

Speaking of being in Casper please sign me up.

Fran Cerundolo has been quietly getting back to great form this season - another quick straight sets win over Goffin takes him through to the semi finals in Munich.

Have to say, the goatee suits him - very suave.

ADF lost. I fear Ruud is next. If Alcaraz loses that will be 3 of 3 favorites out in one day. This fucking sucks!

R310 I feel your pain. All my remaining hopes for the day rest on my big hunky Dutch boy, Tallon Griekspoor, who's just starting the final set against The RFC.

¡Carlitos!

Phallic water bottle placement from a smouldering Carlitos.

Oh yeah, and he just dispatched Demon in short order.

Citybus team or Fils team?

Fils Team - although I do find him quite annoying on court, his gorgeousness means I can't quite hate him.

...and SISSYpass retires in the third game. Bit weird.

Carlos is a dreamboat

[quote] and SISSYpass retires in the third game.

Are we certain it’s not an extended pee break?

No, Tsitsi is gone. Fils all fresh for Alcaraz tomorrow.... redux from last week.

Happy for Alcaraz, but he's still playing like shit. He might very well lose to Fils.

I expect Alcaraz will lose to Fils. It Easter, a time for family back home, and its just a 500 afterall

[quote] its just a 500 afterall

Not “just”, R321.

I'm of two minds about Fils. He's usually very likeable and has a ton of charisma and good looks, obviously, but his temper and ego might be his undoing. At least he apologized for this incident last year.

But his abs!

grrrrr

Legz

^ stop pleaz…he’s a bird and a loser. Zzz minus

[quote]he’s a bird

What kind of bird? A pigeon?

A bird?

[quote] What kind of bird? A pigeon?

A boid.

Casper's quest for a second non-250 title was thwarted earlier today.

[quote] Casper's quest for a second non-250 title was thwarted earlier today.

Woon whacked Wuud.

K. Hemsworth team or Woon team?

Alcaraz (Garfia) team or Fils team?

Fils Team

Woon defeats K. Hemsworth in straight sets.

Ostapenko beats Iga again!!!!!

I think it was Chris Evert who recounted talking to Yelena about her past matchups against Iga and Chris had to correct Ostapenko that Swiatek had been the higher seed. Yelena had just assumed that she was the higher seed, LOL!

Peppa. Peppa Pig.

Will Iga ever win a match against Ostapenko?

Wow, Mopsy took out Fran in Munich an is in the final against RFC.

That's a really good win. Fran has been playing great.

¡Carlos!

Coco choko

Povero triste Coco!

Ostapenko may be the only player on WTA who has Iga’s number. The head to head is shocking.

Peppa Pig Perfection!

Alcaraz (Garfia) team or Woon team?

Just for shits and giggles I’ll go with Woon.

Rune is a disgusting homophobe. I hope he loses but that probably means he wins, sigh.

Can Alcaraz please get a haircut?

My God, YELLton Vs The RFC in Munich I'm rooting for a sinkhole.

Team Woon just to piss off the homophobe troll.

[quote]Can Alcaraz please get a haircut?

LOL, I was thinking the same thing. He has a two-head.

Other than Novaxx, does it get any more rancid than Rune and RFC?

Hit the nail on the head^

Stuttpenko!

Woon team.

Actually I’m Carlitos team.

Legz/Woon, bishes

....

FOAD, Hingis Head and RFC.

I knew the homophobe would win. Gross. Tennis is dead.

Ye gads!

Go nads!

A Double Nightmare. The Cunts have inherited the Earth!

Woon at campy trophy ceremony in Barcelona.

WOON in POOL.

Thanks for the warning, R365.

Perky Peppa Pig Pops!

love him or hate him, Woon is all beef

Indeed

That twink has a great little body. Love the nips, especially.

Titsy and Paula at the Laureus awards

Peppa! Pip, pip hurrah!

[quote] Peppa! Pig, pig hurrah!

Fixed it for you.

Vive la France! Vive le Cochon!

proud of our girl Jelena Ostapenko!

Poor She Hulk. She just can't win that damn Porsche!

Paola looks very mature for her age

She Hulk no longer has the hunger she had two years

Osaka is currently losing in her qualifying match against Bronzetti

Poor Naomi. What happened?

^^^^ she cray

R279 - yes!

Coco and Jpeg are no longer dubs partner?

Correct

Everyone gets the calls they deserve, and RFC really deserves this.

He was served.

Moutet staking yet another claim to be the biggest asshole on the ATP Tour. l Goes a break down to Mayot in the second set on an underam serve, then absolutely destroys his racquet after going 15-40 on his next service game - gets a point penalty and forfeits the game; then tops it aloff by marching to the umpire's chair and jacks the match in, feigning an injury.

He really is a petulant douche.

Comesaña looking ripped and delicious in a sleeveless shirt against Martinez.

Hopefully Getty images will post some pics at some point.

Moutet is a cunt's cunt.

Comesana is cute as a bug's ear

Fran The Man, from today's match. Edible.

Shirtless Fran (in some kind of weird recovery tank with Baez)

Francisco Comesana of Argentina...so hot in your pic r390

DL fave Navone got a win today over cannon Mpethsi Perricard

Luvly Laslo over the Fog

Bianca Andrescu plays boring tennis

Wow Colto bears a striking resemblance to DL boyfriend T. PAUL

Colto

What has renowned clay-court specialist Rafael Nadal been up to?

Lately, he’s made a big deal about not wanting to work with guys who are cut, because they don't know how to properly treat his uncut dick.

R399, I saw a close-up of him at a Real Madrid match about a week ago. He looked good; retirement must agree with him.

Rafa is busy winning golf trophies.

Shapo with doge.

I listened to the Rafa interview on Andy Roddick’s podcast. Rafa sounds great and is running his own empire including hotels and various properties, tennis academies etc..

[quote] Rafa sounds great and is running his own empire including hotels and various properties, tennis academies etc..

So busy no have time for esposa or bebe.

Newbie Sicilian Federico Cina shows some promise.

La Monf bulges a comeback against Gojo to become the oldest match winner in Madrid tournament history.

Any update on new DL boyfriend Camilo? (swoons)

He lost in the first round, r408, but step off, 'cuz I'M comforting him!

R409 Do NOT make me take out a restraining order on you. The boy is mine. Bought and paid for.

Somebody hold my earrings!!

Carlitos out of Madrid - precautionary after groin injury in Barcelona was restricting his movement in the final.

Iga loses first set to Eala.

And is broken to start the second set. She’s shit these days.

Iga isn't that great without the drugs

Correct me if I'm wrong but I think she was caught using something?

When Carlitos pronounces his name he says Alcarath - that whole Spanish 'z' and 'th' transposition thing going on. Also, is he Catalonian?

I’ve been catatonic lately.

R417 Murcia—south of Valencia

Igor and her forehead manage to advance.

I like Eala—she needs to improve her serve, but she’s got a future.

Coco in cuckoo bad form right now —she’s bagled in the first set.

Peppa Pig crashes out in the Battle of Latvia.

Coco chokes on a bagel served up by Yastremska.

Giron of the great ass lives to fight on. 😋

R417, that transposition, I learned just recently, is called a “ceceo.” It’s common in southern Spain. (Rafa grew up in northern Spain, near Catalonia).

Flayvah plays Woon tomorrow. That should be fun!

ooooooh and Comesana plays Fils

Ceceo

and Barcelona is pronounced Barthelona!

Not by everyone in Spain—

Is Colto MAGA?

Cerundolo is playing now. He is so hot.

R417 No. Alcaraz is from Murcia. Not Catalonia. They speak Spanish in Murcia.

Lor' ha' mercy!

Fabulous Fran took the first set in a TB over Arthur Feast!

Lmao... nice gesture from Cerundolo towards the disgusting loud French fans.

Fils a break down, 0-30 down being a dick, trying to disrupt Comesana's rhythm. This is why I increasingly dislike him - amazing ass, notwithstanding.

Comesaña is kinda cute. Happy he won!

Great win for Comesana. Steady as a rock in that final set.

The younger Cerundolo brother in action now against FAA.

The younger Cerundolo won too!

Felix has lost a ton of points here. Looks like he's headed into (yet) another Flop Era!

[quote] another Flop Era!

Flopos Felix.

My former fave flop Fils (Feast) fell flat, flailing and failing to shake the umpire's hand over a right call when Fils was clearly wrong. Petulant bad form, poor sport. Not cool.

Meanwhile, Come-Come-Come-Come-Come on-s-saaaaña.

Navone team.

Mariano makes me smile.

Maria Sharapova makes me…laugh!

MTF calls Shelton Shelphone and I think that's hilarious.

Shelphone comes back from being down a break. He wins the second set in a TB.

Shelphone won the match. I'm sad. I was rooting for Navone.

Big Jack is playing tomorrow. Should be a good match against Griekspoor.

How I chuckled, R447, thank you.

DL fave ADF is playing now against Borges.

Either team.

Mopsy midriff

Mariano

Mopsy hideous head.

That's redundant.

R458 I'd need two bags and ear defenders.

Clinical win for ADF!

Clinique!

Rune retires 'injured'; after losing the first set to Flayvah 6-2. Goes off court to whistles and boos.

Finally the day (night) in Madrid took a happy turn.

Legz had a problem with his legz.

Flayvah!

ADF

ADF bulge

Not really —not in that pic

^ OK, show me a real one

I love these mid-air captures.

Notable new doubles teams set to play in Madrid:

Tommy P + Tommy Legz+

Musetti + "Flayvah" Cobolli

Ruud + Feast/Fils

Fils may have to face his friend and frequent doubles partner GMP if he and Ruud win their first match. Did Fils and GMP break up?

DAYUM

dats some good doubles pairings

It’s doubles match.

Happy to know the disgusting homophobe won't be playing mote matches in Madrid. I'm fine with anyone winning now except Novax and RFC. That means one of them probably will, sigh.

Ruud and Fils together? Wow! Hot eye candy!

Hotties Etcheverry and Musetti are playing each other now.

Musetti's outfit is interesting - sleeveless baggy top teamed with baggy short shorts. Very summer 1985 throwback.

TME go boom

Present hole!

Luvly Lore

The unlikely Damir Dzhumur renaissance continues: a topsy turvy 3-sets win over Sebi Baez.

That’s almost a muscle slut top Musetti’s wearing, and I’m all for it, especially the slut bit.

He’s cosplaying Carlitos in that kit.

r480, I was logging on to comment on DD's resurgence. Certainly would have never seen that coming. Seems he won 6 straight Challenger titles in late 2024 to get back into the Top 100. Nice that he's backing that up with some Tour-level wins.

R483 Yeah, he was having quite a moment in 2016/17 - picked up a few titles and was inside the top 30. He fell off quite quickly and was down into the lower reaches of the top 200 for a few years. After a while you don't expect a player to be able to come back from that. I always enjoyed his playing style and found him very easy on the eyes.

Arnaldi team or Nole team?

If you mean Gangbang Power Bottom Twinknaldi Team, then yeah, I'm down for that!

Nadal is expecting baby no. 2

^^^^ that turkey baster is getting a lot of use

GPBT Arnaldi versatilely pokes a big hole in "Nole".

Yay! I'm so happy.

Giron of the Great Ass team or Berrettimi?

Is Giron what kids nowadays call "thicc"?

Hairless

Who is hairless?

Now, please god, let Novax crash out of RG in spectacular fashion as well

Hit a lines judge with a ball. Get ejected into space!

[quote]The unlikely Damir Dzhumur renaissance continues

He has a brother (Zlatan Dzumhur) who is a Beyonce fan and 'fashion stylist'

Where’s the Matt Damon troll?

[quote] Where’s the Matt Damon troll?

Why do you ask?

Someone else tell 499…

R487 With his beard? How nice. Was probably through IVF.

[quote] Was probably through IVF.

If girl bebe we call her Eve F. Nadal.

ODS Tommy and Fonseca are in a dogfight

Cap'n Jack

Fran Team or Fran Team?

Fran team.

Fran C team

Cerundolo team.

[quote]He has a brother (Zlatan Dzumhur) who is a Beyonce fan and 'fashion stylist'

That Zlatan boy is exactly the way I like my Muslim boys: out and proud. Make love, not Jihad! Or maybe he's just terribly, terribly metrosexual, which would be about just as good.

Zlatan has also amassed $36 as a professional tennis player.

Clay Magazine interviews Joao Lucas Reis...

Let's Go Brandon Team or Flayvah Team?

Wubie Team or Bubbles Team?

Flayvah Team

Fraternal Dollface Alert: Damir and Zlatan with Damir's bébé, Luka

Zlatan is handsome

Rublev joins the Top 10 exodus.

The RFC needs to STFU.

What did RFC say now?

ADF looks like a bumblebee! A bumblebee!

Small Cat team or Cerundolo team?

Daddy Fritz team or Bonsai team?

Mopsy team or Mensik team?

Sebbie team or Wuud team?

RFC beats ADF in three sets.

Oh, Alejandro. Why must you be such a heartbreaker?

You had him on the ropes!

Cerundolo Jr Team

Bonsai Team

Mensik/Never Mopsy Team

Wuud Team

Bublik Enemy.

Having brothers play on the same day in the same day is Cerundipity.

Oops - I meant write "on the same day in the same tournament" at r525.

I knew RFC would win. ADF is a headcase.

Daddy Fritz loses first set 6-4.

[quote] Benjamin Bonzi injured and forced to retire against Taylor Fritz

Bye bye, Bonsai.

Pegula loses lazily.

Mensik's making mincemeat of Mopsy.

Ooh la la Zsa Zsa

It's first set to Franc C in the Franc C Vs Fran C match up!

Jakub Mensik doing the Lord's work against Mopsy!

Comme ci, Comesaña.

Comesańa really does seem like a sweetheart.

Svitolina is routining Rybakina.

FRAN C WINS!

SLAVA SVITOLINA!

[quote] FRAN C WINS!

Yay! I'm so happy.

What a relief!

Zsa Zsa is really handsome. That jaw, those eyes, that hair ...

Wuud advances. Defeats Sebbie.

Sebbie isn't happening.

Shapo vid.

Sabateurs hit European grid to mess with Madrid Open

Major power outage - a possible cyber attack - across Spain and Portugal, means play's been suspended at the Madrid Open: 2 hours and counting now.

[quote]Sabateurs hit European grid

Was it Saba-lenka?

Play now suspended for the day. Tomorrow will be a scheduling nightmare.

How osnthis thread so dead with so much tennis going o ?

Re he go!

Hijos de puta!

What's going on with my girl Rybot??

Wasn't aware that Titi was plsying in the MO

Captain Jack TEAM or BerretTEAMi?

Citybus TEAM or Lovely Lore TEAM?

Big Jack team!

Matteo reitres. Nooooo!!!!

Wow! Berrettini loses the first set in a tie-breaker and immediately retires. He wasn't showing any signs of injury. Maybe precautionary in the run up to Rome?

R559 Draper said he was feeling an ab injury.

Lovely Lore is through after driving the Citybus into a ditch in the second set tie-break.

Frightening to see Wubie and Stefanos now circling the drain at the lower end of the Top 20.

This white kaftan affair is doing Lore no favours (IMHO)

Lore, dear, I think you're in grave danger of letting t'he mouse out of the house' with these baggy short shorts!

The RFC is Officially Fran C's little bitch!

A routine straight sets win - he's now 3-0 in their head to head!

R563 Happy for Fran!

Daddy Fritz team or Wuud team?

Womp Womp...

Wuud Team!

Daddy Fritz Team!

She-Hulk Team!

[quote] Womp Womp...

Haha!

I see England

I see France ...

Cap'n Jack

Novaxx will skip Rome

The less I see of Novaxx the better. He's more than welcome to skip Roland Garros, too.

Wome.

Wuud seems to be playing himself into some form. Outslugs Daddy to win in straight sets. Hitting lines from every corner of the court along the way.

Wuud over Boss Daddy 5 and 4

Wuud looks sexy at R575.

Come thru Dialllo!

Fritz defines the argument that rankings don't mean shit. How the heck is he ranked so high?

Looking forward to that Keys - Siwatek match

Cap'n Jack Team or ODS Tommy Team?

Demon Team or Luvly Lore Team?

Big Foe Team or Twinkaldi Team?

NSYG Team or Diallou Team?

Does Diabllo FAA 2.0 fist pump after every point?

I think Lore might go far....

Agree Wuud looking especially yummy today.

New thread for when this one is full.

Actually use this thread. I linked the wrong thread.

Wuud.

Woon.

Il Syringo.

Daddy Fritz.

Giron of the Great Ass.

Small Cat.

Peppa Pig

She-Hulk

Citybus.

Big Jack.

RFC.

Demon.

New thread.