Let's Be Things in the DL Archive!

I'm Michfest.

I’m the WTC. I’m a voracious bottom.

Insatiable!

I'm the EDITOR! Peg summons to no avail.

I'm the free refill

Cheryl!

I'm Lena Horne's lesbianism

I’m Red Dragon Cheese!

CZJ’s declassified birth certificate.

I’m the free fall.

I’m the Rainbow Express driven by Denise.

I'm the hat that fell off the Oculus escalator. Would that I were the only one!

I'm an unopened case of Helenesque.

I’m the closetcase Marcia Cross, still high off the Desperate Housewives times almost 20 years later.

fumes*

I’m Gertie, the Monday Mooo person.

I'm Noodles!

I’m the gargoyle squatting on the roof.

I am a Sumerian farm wife.

I'm all the copies of Muriels DUI citations. I take up several boxes and an old filing cabinet with a pealing label on it that says "Datalounge website improvement plans 2009".

I'm Danny Thomas' glass coffee table!

I'm the prancing ponies

I'm the fixded cheeseburger.

*kisses doll*

Archives? Nothing that happens on DL isn’t regurgitated regularly.

I'm the little thumbnails that used to appear with link previews. (Weren't they from Mommie Dearest and The Wizard of Oz?)

I was so proud when my wise and witty remarks were posted on the bulletin board by the editor.

I’m DA SUCK JOB!

I'm Muriel's rancid, fetid cunt.

I'm danker and mustier than the basement where I'm being "temporarily" stored.

I'm the free bread pudding!

I'm not an AirBnB!

I’m Griselda Medina, still in my desk.

I’m the almighty almiqui. Perhaps you’ve forgotten about me, but I still still be your overlord one day.

Not without my Daughter!

I'm Kirker and Shobe and Justin and Umpy and all the other assorted characters locked away in the void

I'm a red weirdo.

I’m the Thanksgiving vegan lesbian girlfriend sadly eating out of tupperware on the porch by herself.

I'm the best

I'm the Once Around the Garden Salad Bar!

I'm the torrid love affair between Dominic Monaghan and Elijah Wood

I'm Gail Grinds. Five more minutes and then I'll get up...

I'm the lost footage of Ann Romano being held by David.

I’m YOU and YOUR NAME being the problem!

I'm an unopened box of Let's Roll Cinnamon Rolls. I don't advice opening me.

I'm Surprise Planal (it really needs the context, but it still makes me laugh)

I'm a crumpled cardboard box filled with size S and XS "Troll Alert" t-shirts.

I'm some of the best things I've ever written, swallowed up without a trace.

Sadly, I don't write nearly so well and cogently anymore.

I'm a puny cocklet.

I'm DL's first and best EST, "I'm in love with my father-in-law."

I'll have you know I had DL's undivided attention for a couple of days,

I'm People Who Poop In Stores

I’m Dangling Tendrils!!!

I'm Joel's neighbor, driving my Little Rascal scooter with Mitzi in the basket.

I'm punch and delete

I was molested.

I’m the shoes on the feet in the stall next to R50

I’m the graxy

All of my incisive and hilarious posts that got deleted when DL became angry with the UK Daily Mail.

I’m the spider that lives in Della Reese’s hair and *flicks on tiny flashlight below my spider chin* the lord sent me to say your shoes are hurting God’s creation! WTF is your problem. Change your shoes, Fool! That is all. Oh, and stop boosting at the 7-11. That’s pathetic.

All the FFs that dues-paying DL members should be entitled to.

I'm Jasmine Guy's House.

I’m the crab walking girlfriend who has codependency issues

Trunk full of dress-up clothes and hats.

I'm testing notifications for mentions and likes. This is a testbench page. Work in progress. Nothing to see here - yet.

I’m “THE HUMANITY!”

I am maggots.

[quote] I'm testing notifications for mentions and likes. This is a testbench page. Work in progress. Nothing to see here - yet.

That's something that *should* be in the archive, but is still with us.

I'm Bai Ling. I'm in charge of the archive section that's located on the roof.

I'm Danielle Egnew

I’m Muriel’s Prom Dress being saved in case her date denies what happened. She can prove it.

and I'm the soft butch sous chef.

I’m Judy, one of the most talented singers ever. She also had a lot of pain and struggle throughout her life. Despite that, she had a good heart, which is hard to encounter in Hollywood. At a time when gay people were oppressed beyond belief, they identified with her struggles and she theirs.

Judy Pills says:

"Judy was one of the most talented singers ever. She also had a lot of pain and struggle throughout her life. Despite that, she had a good heart, which is hard to encounter in Hollywood. At a time when gay people were oppressed beyond belief, they identified with her struggles and she theirs."

If you really believed that, JP, you would change your insulting screen name, which only contributes to the image of Garland as a pill-popping no-talent better off forgotten, not an artist on the level of Sinatra or Picasso or Callas.

YOU and YOUR NAME are part of the problem, JP.

I'm 'Bellagio Horror.'

I'm Kirker's Furniture Store.

There are no archives. It was only a fever dream of DLers who can't let go of an imagined past.

I’m Koika.

I'm Himmmmmmmmm

I'm the sows at the trough.

I’m the caskets precariously stacked into a pyramid in a tribute to the cheerleading squad killed in a bus crash.

I'm Libby! If Russell gains any more weight I'm out of here.

I'm the sky so blue that day.

My molestation.

I'm Crazymint.

I'm SS Terri ;)

I'm non-event toast.

R72, thanks for the memories

R83, Crazymint, MORE than once, made me rub one out

I’m Justin’s Google Earth Images of Robin Strasser’s home, and the used jockstraps Judy Pills Garland bought from some ginger.

To R20...Muriel got DUI citations, I never got a DUI citation. I flipped a station wagon on the Garden State Parkway while drunk& speeding my brains out. It cost me 2 cases of beer& a weekend in the Thunderbird Hotel with a hunky NJ State Trooper named Jerry.

I'm Justin's hidden pint of vodka at the DL get-together.

The ability to block political threads.

I'm Helen Lawson's little black book.

I googled Jackie Onassis and it came back Jackie On Assistance. So I figured I'd go with that.

I'm the broken chair.

I’m Susie Lee - But I’m also Miss Sissyboodles.

I'm Shelley Hack. Thread closed bitches.

I'm the possum in the drawer.

I'm all the Bay Ridge Norwegian Catholics.

I’m PMBT’s textbooks

I'm draining pasta.

I'm...

I'm the Roger Howarth v Trevor St. John wars.

Hi, SS Terri! I'm surprised you didn't kill yourself when Kevin came out and was exposed as a sexual predator

I’m celebration “Cak”

I'm Terri Schiavo's balloons.

I'm Patsy Ramsey's helpful tips on child rearing.

I'm the desk of Tony Stewart.

I'm a Norwegian Catholic.

I'm my sister's fucking bitch cat.

I'm the iguana on the deck.

I'm Bengali in Platforms! Damn some of our regulars had panache! Class! Style!

Where's Umpty?

I'm all things Golden Girls.

I'm PMBT's long suffering Dad, in spartan misery in the semi-finished basement. And his Dragon Lady mom with her lesbian lover-BFF upstairs resplendent in DKNY perfume and white lacquer furniture.

I'm Peg the Republican lesbian.

I'm White Belt Man.

I'm "This thread s making me HORNY AS HELL!"

I'm a can of frosting.

I'm window screens, the sign of trash everywhere.

I’m everything but the bloodhounds snappin at your rear end

I’m all the threads that ended in tears

I'm Kirker's hot dad.

I'm Bear and Bee.

I am -

"I am telling you NOW, so I do not have to tell you THEN."

I'm Sissy's Pizza Bread.

I'm 💩 Little Ann

AND

The Shit Bra

I'm the DL commercial, of course.

I’m Rose

I'm Roxane Gay's chair.

I'm Duke's mayo

I'm a Mason jar filled with Ina Garten's farts!

I'm the nacreous layer of permacum.

I'M CRYING AS I TYPE!

I'm the sky.

I'm the days when threads would move lightning-fast. If you were gone an hour, the original thread you followed would already be on part 2 and buried back on page 20.

I'm also the days when everyone just went with the ESTs, instead of calling them out in post 3, which is how we got some DL classics.

They went with the ESTs because both the OP's set up and the responses were witty.

I’m the 30 year collection of Susan Dey’s comments on world events.

I’m the tray of freshly baked cookies that my maker carried to his cute (and married) neighbor. My maker was soundly rejected by the neighbor and his wife and has not been the same since.

I'm the hissing from the dark space behind the screen door.

I'm Joel. After Cornell I stopped speaking to my gay neighbor, got my JD at Stanford, and joined August Debouzy in Paris.

R124, Oh My Gosh! I forgot about that!!

I'm Dataloungeland

I'm Denny/Danny, still wandering the streets of Manhattan with my three-wheeled Samsonite, looking for a couch to surf on.

We went with the ESTs because we were FOOLED. We didn’t subsequently get a humor lobotomy.

[quote]We went with the ESTs because we were FOOLED.

Yes, I for one REALLY thought Nana Mouskouri was dialing random phone numbers looking for Paul.

Some ESTs are more subtle than others.

I'm the toilet that overflowed from guest Kirker's magnificent, monumental, epic bowel movement.

I'm Erna.

I'm the endless Miles Heizer-Connor Jessup threads I never read.

I’m a sealed container marked “Do Not Open.”. Inside me are the shit bra and the pooh shoes.

I told you not to open me. Now you’re sorry.

Aren’t you?

R147–those round things on the bottom aren’t dried out turkey meatballs, are they?

No r148. They are not.

Just like all the "Miss Shawn Mendes" is STR8 and crushing Pussy threads, still don't know who Connor& Miles are.

I'm "Ghetto Tara" one of the funniest things ever on DL.

I am a photograph of three celebrities. I prompt the existential question 'Why is XXXXX in the middle?'

I am the Helen Reddy troll

yeah, that was a thing

I am straight me...still trying to figure out why I am so stupid.

I'm the Anthony Hopkins Stalker

I'm the bear that Isis was chasing.

I'm the 1926 through 2023 office Christmas party photos.

I am the DL infiltration of the Michigan Womyn's Music Festival discussion page. Nothing we could post was as horrific as what was already there.

I'm the photos of Muriel's wild weekend at Lilith Fair. We will never see the light of day.

I am the concentration camp for boys outside the main campgrounds of Michfest. Female Fest goers had to leave their male sons/dependents with me while attending Michest.

Michfest was a womyn's only space. Penised persons not allowed. No man on the land!!!

We have stated our boundaries.

I am the DL infiltration of the Million Moms conservative Christian Facebook page where we pretended to be good Christian with personal issues related to homosexuality ('I need your prayers! My husband has recently begun collecting Judy Garland memorabilia...')

I am a David Ehrenstein meltdown.

I'm good enough! I'm smart enough! And doggonit, people like me!

I'm candid shots of Lindsay Lohan's cooch. I was everywhere on DL, back in the day.

I'm Jesse Williams, dangling low on stage.

I'm Griselda Medina.

I'm the Prophetess Juanita "Jazzhands" Bynum!

Indeed, I was one of them

I'm Brandon.

I'm the man who went up in the man.

I'm JIMMMMAAAAYY!!

I'm Dyatlov Pass, which has apparently never been suggested for discussion here. ;)

I'm the margarine fountain.

I'm Terri, Russel Crowe's DL stalker (and imaginary wife)

R170 eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

I'm Wundy gurl, working San Mon B, feeling prett and looking for menz.

WUND IS LOVE!

❤️

I'm the feets troll.

I'm Jan Mawxell's unearned apartment at Manhattan Plaza.

I'm Blue Agave.

I'm the Let's be... Troll.

I'm the Stop trying to make Jared Padelecki happen Troll

I'm WHET instead of WEHT

I'm r183 idiotically calling myself R 183.

I'M THE ALL CAPS TROLL

I’m Ruth Madoff living in CT on $2 million.

I am the conference room furniture that did not look so good in the conference room after all, as I was designed by a friend of a friend's fuckbuddy that had two semesters of interior design by correspondence.

I’m the never ending insanity from the women’s basketball threads

I'm Prancing Ponies.

I'm "Drop the Chalupa" AKA Elizabeth Mitchell obsessives.

I’m the wringing of hands over starter condos in Hell’s Kitchen. You made money regardless of what you chose.

I'm Lens Dunham. You fuckers will never admit it, but you can't get enough of my voluptuous beauty.

I'm a whore, darling.

I'm the Celebration Cak, where the Cak go up into the Man. I like this consept.

I'm non-event toast

I'm the family photos by Denny Scott photography.

We're Mariska Hargitay and Marcia Cross, and we were once the toast of the DL. Thousands of acres of cyberspace were sacrificed so we could be discussed endlessly here.

Does anyone even remember us now?

^ I'm Oleebia!

I'm toothy tile

I'm Shitty Little Ann!

We saw her at R123 already, R199.

I'm the African Baby Catalog

I’m the “Poor Ellen” sighs throughout 2000.

I'm the mug cradling frau.

I'm 'Dog Fucks Baby in the Ass!'

[quote] I'm DL's first and best EST, "I'm in love with my father-in-law."

[quote] I'll have you know I had DL's undivided attention for a couple of days,

I'm your devoted fan, r49!

I could not tear myself away from your EST masterpiece.

Years ago, I asked you for a sequel. I was disappointed when you responded you had "retired those characters".

I realize now that's for the best. A sequel would have besmirched your original.

It's just like how I'm glad a sequel to the best Rom Com ever made, "Roman Holiday" doesn't have a sequel.

I'm Sharon Stone's panties. Not worn since 1991.

I'm Courtney Love's panties. I was peeled off and thrown into the air in 1994 and still haven't landed.

I'm the Darfur orphan, in utter disbelief that I haven't gotten a mention until now.

I'm Shobe

I'm the White Belt Man. My racist trolling ass may still be lingering around here.

To R196, Mariska sends her LOVE and would like to see us, but the "giant, really big giant pile of fucking $$$$" she is lying on extends to "lesbiana Heaven" and beyond. She is now mocking all of you!!

I'm Bonnie Franklin's pantyhose! I'm enclosed in a special display cabinet like Lenin's grave.

I'm the Almiqui

I'm Umpy.

[quote] I'm the Darfur orphan, in utter disbelief that I haven't gotten a mention until now.

Darfur Orphan is not in the archive, unfortunately.

I’m the size 30 jeans not worn since 1984.

I’m the spiders in Amy Winehouse’s hair annoyed that spider’s in hair have been mentioned, but not us.

Oi!

I'm the pencil left next to the telephone for dialing purposes.

I'm DEAD TO ME! I should have been placed in the archive long ago, and yet, ironically, I will not die.

I am all the folk with great asses who could not live forever

I am a can of frosting

I'm Claire's oversized cloth purse, the kind a child might carry.

I'm Keram Malicki Sanchez.

I'm all the Thanksgiving with Family threads. God, I loved them so much!

I'm all my threads that went nowhere.

R23 knows

Fank you

I'm "pank me Mommy"

[quote]I'm the Darfur orphan, in utter disbelief that I haven't gotten a mention until now.

I see someone's starved for attention in addition to food.

[quote] I'm a whore, darling.

Wrong, as usual.

You ARE a whore, darlin.’

We’re not monsters! We don’t keep the Darfur Orphan 🚶🏾‍♂️in the archives.

He stays in the basement with Mama’s mussy.

I'm the insane assertion that even those names that have been attached to monarchs and aristocrats for centuries are somehow-- SOMEHOW-- "low class".

I'm BEARKING!

I'm Muriel's thighmaster.

I'm Dominic Monaghan.

Don't tell me you bitches don't know who I am.

I'm Hillary Clintons campaign accoutrements.

[quote]I'm BEARKING!

"Bearking" never happened, despite repeated efforts to force it on DL.

🐻👑 lives!

I'm Deb Messing's cure for eye cancer.

I am a Blatino Husbear!

I'm boxed wine.

I'm the disdainful sniping that gets us through every Oscar telecast.

I'm sorry your mother looks like a weasel.

[quote]"Bearking" never happened

Sorry, R237, it has become a thing.

I'm the Viviane Vance option to DL polls. PLEASE let me die!

I'm Amy Winehouse's 13 years of sobriety!

I'm the Lizsha troll who always shlurs her words.

I’m Chee.

I'm Lorna's breakfast nook.

Saying it doesn't make it so, R244.

I'm Dora Dumfuck, ingenue. My role on Datalounge has apparently been taken over by Rose Nylund.

I'm finger fucking Suzanne Somers in the Bellagio fountains!

I'm Jan in Accounting and I still haven't had my baby....

R248 still trying hard to make Chee happen.

I'm a collection of Denny Scott's photographs. The Datalounge has more fine art than the Louvre!

I'm Ginny in Billing. Sister-in-law of Jan in Accounting.

Jan in Accounting may never have had her “baby,” but she sure as hell kept the shower gifts.

I am the unknown substance that lines the walls of Cheryl's pussy.

I'm peg.

I am Bunnika. I’m an enbie in a throuple via a Handfasting held in the backyard, bitch at the airlines for not accommodating my fibro and leaving me spoonless, had a child I’m transing, and tried to set up a GoFundMe to cover the cost of a trip to Eat Week at Disney World with my girlfriend that failed.

I'm Tom Bianchi and his dozens of twunk soulmates. Muriel stores us in the pool house so we feel more at home.

[quote]I'm Ginny in Billing. Sister-in-law of Jan in Accounting.

I thought Ginny in Billing died?

So, wouldn't she be in the DL graveyard, rather than the archive?

Scientology.

R262 She did die. And I think she's dead dead.

Unlike Erna. That was a rumor and sadly only wishful thinking.

I have stated my boundaries!

I'm telling you now so I don't have to tell you then.

I'm Pollyanna Prisspot, Schooolmarm.

I'm the squirrels. And death.

I'm the Abortion Hut! We made it out of the archive for the DNC.

I'm Joel's speedo.

I'm BILL TAYLOR.

I'm a Fat Whore!

I'm part of the archive but also....I never really left.

We’re the truly indispensable movie moments. We’re a bit different from similar archives you might find at the American Film Institute or the Academy. Some might call us . . . idiosyncratic. We include:

“No wire hangers. . . ever!”

“Buck never would have been in the hospital.”

“Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?”

“You ARE a whore, darlin’.”

“But ya are, Blanche. Ya are in that chair.”

and

“Jesus god in heaven, why did you have to kill such hot snatch?”

I'm the old days of W&W, when witticisms would appear in a column on the front page, adjacent to the larger main column containing our posts.

I'm Kwanzaa cak

I'm Downtown Abby!

[quote]I'm Downtown Abby!

Downton, not Downtown.

I'm fibromyalgia, so tender to the touch.

Speaking of Abby, I'm the A - B - B - E - Y - a word that was blocked (and may still be).

Along with one poster's name.......

I'm Lisa Beamer. Like a roll?

I'm the papasan chair in which Beatrice sobbed in the nude and nibbled on rib tips after Bonnie Mace kicked the shit out of her secret lover Clauderoy.

R273 I am the quickly discarded webmaster opinion pieces that appeared about the same time, but were soon abandoned and then disappeared.

I’m R11 FAT

I’m WHATEVER spelled / / hat ever

Geesh, still blocked it seems

I'm the killer bean bag chair.

I am the

🌊 🐄 🧵

I am the MURDEROUS FATTY ON THE LAM

I'm that Datalounge thread that just runs out of steam by r288.

I'm Pastor Davey!

I’m danny with the roll suitcase in NYC

I'm Cathy Mitchell and her dump cakes.

It’s Denny!

I'm Kevin Sessums unwashed jeans

I'm Cackle Cackle. I hope he got that other piece of pie.

And I'm the gas prices in Half Moon Bay!

I'm Longe

I'm the Bea Arthur freak circa 2003. Post any list of males, any context, and I will be on it in 10 seconds with "Bea Arthur".

[quote]I'm Erna

I'm Erna's mom jeans

Umpty wasn't always Umpty but he kept changing his name because he'd get banned. I often think about him and the little old lady with the cat. I don't remember if it was her cat or his cat and I don't remember if he had a room in her house or she had one in his. But he and the Guy with the suitcase rolling around in NYC were my favorites. Along with the Butch Sous Chef. We here on DL actually solved a murder. A vile hate crime perpetrated by A LESBIAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm Ben -- HELP!! I accidentally just sent a video of me masturbating to all my contacts in my cell phone!

R299 It wasn't Umpty, it was Umpy. And yes, he was always talking about his roommate and her cat.

I've forgotten most of them now but some of his posts were truly hilarious. He was socially inept with just a dollop of veiled racism/sexism that it was hilarious.

We had Butch Sous Chef

Murderous Fatty on the Lam

and

the Datalounger who was a Serial Killer!

I'm Miss Warwick.

Still breathing, at least when I've got a doobie between my lips to make the effort worth my while.

I'm Corpse R303.

We're Damont and Nippy.

It was Grumpy, then Rumpy, then Umpy, getting shorter each time he came back from a ban.

Until . . . [poof!]

I seem to remember him asking if cats wear tampons and/or if QEII has someone to wipe her ass.

I'm the Joan Van Ark Troll. I'm harmless nd actully quite endearing.

OK Gays! Time to spread some buzz on the web and get our beautiful and gifted songbird back in the Top 40!! She just lost her momma so let’s rise up together and shower her with Gay LOVE!

[quote]I'm Ben -- HELP!! I accidentally just sent a video of me masturbating to all my contacts in my cell phone!

I'm his father ... clutching and vomiting as they carried me to the ambulance

I’m Becka and I find it sad that the lesbian and gay community does not embrace our cane-using elders. Especially our elders of size.

Very sad.

I am death.

I'm Terry, the most pathetic gay in Christendom.

We are Mrs Patrick Campbell and today we went to the gym. We exercised our arms, shoulders and breasts. There were fish hogging the thigh machines again and Management did not respond to my satisfaction when we spoke to them about it.

I’m verificatia

I'm the Wentworth Miller fangirls. Went is a shy virgin who hasn't met the right girl yet!

I'm Gloria Vanderbilt...Short... Andy's Mama. I'm dead now and Andy is still making a big thing about it. Yes. We were very close. I was quite something in my day. Sometimes when Andy is asleep, I sneak into my beautiful grandchildren's nursery, and tell them about Frank Sinatra! Doobie Doobie Doo indeed!

I'm Julianne Moore, seriously.

I'm VHS tapes of seasons 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 7, 8, and 9 of The Facts of Life. Someone "borrowed Season 6 and never returned it.

[quote] I’m verificatia

I'm leche!

I'm the girl mayo flying out of Bonnie Mace's lady ham.

I'm a Tina Turner wall clock.

That Tina Turner clock is, technically, stolen property. It should come out of the archives and be returned to its rightful owner.

I'm Ypir's modeling portfolio

I'm Barbara Bush's beautiful mind.

I'm SHITS FIRED!

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

Oh, I forgot that the daily fail doesn’t link here.

I posted

“Oh, YPIR, WHET?

I'm the poop knife.

I'm WHET!

I'm the heated debate over the fatso in line at the Spirit Airlines counter: naked vs. flesh colored leggings.

I'm Lens.

I'm the cunt bone Stevie Nicks kicked.

I'm Jasmine Guy's front lawn.

I am the suspicious item on the ground beneath Pete Burns and his low hanging testes

I am Gayle King's shake and go wig.

Right next to Suzi Rogers' 5.99 McCrory's wig from 1973.

I'm "Your misogyny is killing our gay teens!!"

I'm the Marriage of Bigaro

Good one r339!

I'm a pint-sized harlot.

I'm Helenesque.

And Helen's banned episode of Sesame Street.

Heen LAwson here, bitchez! Ask me anything but never mention Neely's name!

I’m Sum Ting Wong!

I am Star Jones. You were obsessed with me.

I'm the star model Robert Murrae

I get in trouble for summoning kirker

Darkspawn stole IHSG from Rumourboy, as I recall

The jilted ex of PC du Bois

I'm salty old bitch DL fave Bar Bush. Or am I the Quaker Oats man?

I'm Oscar-winning actress Luise Rainer, who originally mourned the "so young..." deaths of stars like Tony Curtis, Leslie Nielsen, Phyllis Diller...

I'm Chewy McNip.

I'm still here of course, but my name is an homage to the late, lamented Tipsy McSwagger.

I'm *kisses doll*. Have I been mentioned yet?

I am 'punch and delete'

I'm Beth Jarrett.

I am a fat womon. Would I be useful on garbage detail?

I'm Bea Benaderet. American actress. Lesbian. Hostess.

Morning dudes. Another hot day in the city… pecs look perfect

I *am* the DL archives!

I'm Van Johnson, Golden Age Queen

I'm the debates:

Mayonnaise

Rinsing/draining pasta

Wiping

I'm Bess Myerson!

I'm Colto.

I'm the baked potato bar at weddings.

I'm Slappy the face slapping troll and I was just told by a bank teller that I need to have an account there if I want to get change for a $20, and then the teller stepped out from behind the counter and slapped my face viciously, over and over, oh my god the stinging and the shock and everyone was watching and I was just so humiliated!!!

I'm a Gap playlist.

I'm "Follies."

I'm Daddy's puduter.

I'm a shit brickhouse

Hey kids! I'm Karen Ziemba!

I'm Bonnie Franklin's pancake titties!

LOL R371, did Karen Z's lopsided titties remind you of Bonnie's fried egg titties?

I’m Dark Lesbians.

I'm SCRAM CHURCHY! and I WONDER WHAT CHURCH HE/SHE GOES TO and CRAM IT, CHURCHY! and MAY I BORROW YOUR BIBLE? I'M FRESH OUT OF TOILET PAPER.

I'm David Ehrenstein.

I’m jive

I'm the DL catnip when someone accidentally uses roll instead of role.

Speaking of roll, R377, I'm Lisa Beamer. Show your patriotism Dataloungers, and mail-order some of my Let's Roll™ Cinnamon Rolls. If not for yourself, do it for my heroic Todd up in heaven. Blessings in Christ!

Where IS the Datalounge map, anyway?

I’m so lost in the DL universe I have to ask: Did Lisa Beamer actually sell Let’s Roll ™ Cinnamon Buns, or did we make it up?

I’m still getting over learning that the Prophetess Juanita “Jazz-hands” Bynum is real, so forgive my confusion.

I would tell you my name, but it might still get any thread containing it shut down. Suffice it to say, it begins with the letter H.

I used to work at Lowe’s, but had to leave because some pervy gay would never let me be. DL was blessed for a short time with my dick pic that someone catfished out of me. You’re welcome bitches!

I'm the thread that claimed Trump wouldn't debate.

I'm the Zlatan/Gerard Pique speculation.

R381, you can tell us! I swear I will never divulge your name and Muriel will never find out. She's usually drunk by this t ime of day, especially on Fridays. And it's the holiday weekend? Sheee-it. She's prolly bee day drinking for the past four hours.

Doubt it is safe, R384. There are pretty long statutes of limitation on child sex crimes…

[quote] I’m so lost in the DL universe I have to ask: Did Lisa Beamer actually sell Let’s Roll ™ Cinnamon Buns, or did we make it up?

I am pretty sure that was made up.

Is Lou the stew in here?

I’m Charlie, I often served Mrs Onassis …

"I'll NEVER Stop Posting 'Let's Be..' Threads!" Vows OP.

We're two of the best "Let's be..." threads ever: Let's Be the Movie Fatal Attraction, and Let's Be Datalounge in the Victorian Era.

I'm snausages, snausages.

I'm the Sumerian Housewives.

I'm John. My textbooks and my father have already been mentioned, but not me, out of fear that I'll be summoned back to DL for another lengthy reign of terror.

I'm John Titor

R392!!!! Fank you, oh, Fank you!!! I had forgotten them.

I'm the worn-through-the-flooring path around the "Load Me Up" Potato Bar.

I'm nutloaf AND a jar of homemade jam to be given to the help during Christmastime.

[quote] I'm the Sumerian Housewives

FARMwives, you fat, stupid whore!

And they've already been mentioned.

R398 = Muriel, waking with a hangover

I wonder if Muriel has all the posts from the first day until present. With AI as far as it’s come, she could train it with all the posts, or as many as she has stored, and make a Datalounger AI chatbot.

Besides being interesting, camp fun or pathologically critical cuntery. Hell, maybe she’s already done it.

Why if an AI Datalounger is already in use? It would certainly churn the feed and give dwindling subscribers and hold outs something new to look at and keep them coming back.

We could get to a point one day that you could be the only real poster left just talking to a bunch of AI eldergays and shop bottoms regurgitating the same input every six months and you’d never realize…

I’ve got to stop smoking such copious amounts of pot. Silly!

I’m the Always Be Buying Microsoft Stock troll who popped up at the release of Vista, 7, and 10.

I'm the now taxidermied Christmas Moose

We have tops working on it right now.

I'm time in a bottle!

I'm Dr Amy "Boom Boom" Bishop.

I'm Maggie Gyllenhaal talking about how happy I am that Peter, my beloved, and Jake, my brother have become SO close. They spend SO MUCH time together. I can even remember being pregnant with our first, and sick so much of the time, and how Peter and Jake would go off together and yes it would take a really long time for them to come back, because they were searching all over town to find something special that would allow me to not get so sick when I ate.

I'm a severely mentally fucked up datalounger with absolutely no shame whatsoever, who, when a local weather forecaster live streamed on Chaturbate asking to have anonymous strangers come over and fuck him, I screen-shotted the broadcast and then sent the photos to the weatherman's family members anonymously.

Some hete know who did it, but that shit got shut down pretty fast because of pending litigation by the weatherman.

I'm Madonna's African orphans catalogue.

I'm the arrogant Robert Murrae who was here back in the early 00s. Maybe I really am that hunky soap-actor-looking brunet International Male model at link. I kept dropping crumbs suggesting such, for the Nancy Drews in here to find. Or maybe I'm just a homely shut-in and I'm catfishing.

I'm Blue Agave's blind items

I'm David Ehrenstein

I’m trying to remember the bi-racial porn star who went from hottie to roid monster. He cried about giardia and then jerked off for the camera. It was a gay version of “FAME”.

[quote]I’m trying to remember the bi-racial porn star...

I remember he looked like Baby Huey if that helps.

I can't think of his name but I read a recent thread about him being coupled with another aging porn actor.

Matthew Rush?

I'm the One Direction fangurl invasion.

I'm John Wesley Shipp's occasional posts here.

Yes, r415.

[quote] Why if an AI Datalounger is already in use? It would certainly churn the feed and give dwindling subscribers and hold outs something new to look at and keep them coming back.

He was. But once "he" adopted two bengal rescue kittens, "he" became a bit distracted and dropped the ball. Makes sense if one remembers that a computer would never understand just how shitty prunes and cod taste.

I'm Irene Cara's raisin titties!

I’m Brendad Ickson’s divorce settlement- the one that the mafia, the Bells, and Obama kept from her.

Thank you, R415.

He has some normal age-related ass issues and I wish him well. Such a beautiful man…We were so mean to a himbo.

WHET to the weatherman who was having some kind of breakdown in Palm Springs?

I'm the Twi-tards. How long since the DL has even mentioned Kristen Stewart, or whatsisname, the gay werewolf one?

I’m a Larry shipper; a believer, if you will.

I'm My Dough Burrous

I'm Taylor Lautner and They are talking about reviving the Twilight series, and I am so ready forb it. Seriously. I'm right here! Yo! cananyonehearme?

That one weather guy from NY1 that had a very minor “lapse in judgment”.

I'm the Latino husbear

I'm a shopbottom.

I'm the freewheeling patio number.

I'm turkey meatballs and no towel.

I'm Rob Beers, the most basic man on the planet.

I'm Nick Carter's one true love.

I'm that serial killer who posted on here, that still creeps me out to this day.

I just fucked Janie Lane

I"m Dustin DeWind's father in law and he thinks we're in a relationship because I fucked him a few times.

I'm Julie

While not currently in the archive, I will be in just a few short years, according to her estate plan. She said DL was truly the only place it would be appreciated.

I am a cash bar at a wedding

Yeah Jack, this is Faye Dunaway... Look I've raced some of the stuff from the O'Neill interview but I'm not really interested in Terry O'Neill - he's a BIG, BIG LIAR and I'm really not interested in in him and you know all and dilly-dallying and carrying over Mommie Dearest...I don't even want to discuss it in my interview or on this Lloyd-Webber thing: those are NEGATIVES and I notice that you have nothing in about Marlon Brando, you have nothing in about Johnny Depp which I did two films with, I don't expect you to get get him for an interview, but you could put some footage in of the of the Kusturica movie which I was BRILLIANT in and it was not well sold in this country you can talk about the Marlon Brando film that I was wonderful in. All the POSITIVE things along that that period, the Marlon Brando film was going on at the same time that the Lloyd-Webber STUPIDITY was going on and you all have to put in the Lloyd-Webber STUPIDITY, you can't put in that I worked with the wonderful Marlon Brando and talk to the director of that movie FOR CHRISTSAKE! And I'm not gonna approve it and I'm really upset now because that uh for two nights now tried to thread through that STUPID interview with a with a man that I will not even waste my time discussing. And and you know who, suffice it to say, stopped working when he married me and pretended to be my manager for a very long time so LET'S NOT EVEN GO THERE! It's very upsetting to me! And then to put my uh our child in JEOPARDY the way he has. So I'm not interested in these NEGATIVE things that you all are putting in there with me in! I don't want Llloys-Webber in, I'd like you to cut him out, and I'd like you to really trim down everything to do with that Mommie Dearest, I'm not gonna talk about it, maybe one thing I'm gonna say about it and THAT'S ALL. It's just like uh you know an obsession, why can't you be obsessed about POSITIVE THINGS?! About Marlon Brando? About the Kusturica movie that was THE HIT OF ALL THE EUROPE AND CANNES? About uh, the film I did with Brando and talk to that, YOU KNOW?!

I'm the baked potato bar at cocktail parties. I was a thing for a while.

I still am to some people

I am 'Once around the garden'

I'm High Point coffee. I have lots of flavah

Or FLAVVAH!

I'm a Queen Helene mint julep mask who eats Duke's mayonnaise.

Now we are repeating ourselves, but same as it ever was. . .

I am the great prophet, Nosferatu.

"It's Water Helen!", Helen Lawson's musical version of "The Miracle Worker".

[quote]"It's Water Helen!", Helen Lawson's musical version of "The Miracle Worker".

It's meant to say "I'm an OBC album of..." It got cut off.

I'm Larry King, addled and confused, but trying to name-drop his way through every interview.

I'm Dick Clark, drunk off of my ass! Live on New Year's Eve!

I am a map of Dataloungeland.

I'm David Dean Bottrell.

I'm Josh Kilmer-Purcell. Worship me, peasants. You all want my goat cheese.

I’m the protocol when encountering mentally ill clients flicking their bean or stroking their meat; glove up, wait for completion/grand pause, and then offer hand sanitizer.

They will invariably ask for another squeeze of hand sanitizer and rub in on their faces. You will say, “Don’t get it in your eyes!” They will get some in their eyes while you’re stepping back three covid paces.

You will sanitize the seat.

I'm Surprise Anal and I never get old even though I've been around for a long time.

I'm Haven Cauble. 'Pank me Mommy! 'Pank me harder!

I’m someone who is very interested in what shade of yellow Brad Pitt’s skin is.

I'm Aunt Diane; there's something wrong with me.

*Posting about a local primary form Slovenia*

I'm Dawn Lyn!

I'm Bea Benaderet.

[quote]I was at a party once, where we played What's My Line? using our first jobs out of high school or college. I was shocked at just how terrible most people were at playing the game.

From R593 in the previous thread. I've played along with the WML panel a few times because I was inattentive when the occupation was flashed on the screen and, yes, it is hard. Even having seen hundreds of episodes, knowing the frequency with which certain occupations turn up, and hearing the answers to the experienced panelists' questions, there are so many possibilities it's really difficult to figure out in most cases. Sometimes, even when you know the answer, it's amazing to see how quickly Arlene, especially, gets it right.

This is in contrast to To Tell The Truth, which I've been watching lately because I've gone through all but the earliest the WML episodes. On TTTT, you play along whether you want to or not, of course, and it's not too hard. Granted, you have a 1 in 3 chance of being right just by guessing, but there are a lot of clues that you can use to figure out who the real contestant is. With the WML occupations, there are a world of choices.

^^^^^ Oh, dear to me!!! Wrong thread.

Although someday, the endless WML threads will be in the DL archive, too.

I'm the obligatory "Dyatlov, right?" response when someone posts "OMG!"

I'm also the obligatory "CUNT!" response whenever Erna's name is mentioned.

We're Ann Miller's cahrn cahb holders.