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This Just In: Lizzo Quits!

[quote]Lizzo quit the music industry in a shock post on Friday.

Link in next post because I can't remember which periodicals Muriel is pissed off at this week.

by Anonymousreply 56April 3, 2024 8:49 AM

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

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by Anonymousreply 1March 30, 2024 1:38 AM

Now she has more time to focus on her legal issues.

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by Anonymousreply 2March 30, 2024 1:48 AM

Waffle Houses everywhere are flying their flags at half mast.

by Anonymousreply 3March 30, 2024 1:49 AM

She exhausts me.

by Anonymousreply 4March 30, 2024 1:49 AM

Translation: Feel sorry for me and gimme more attention

by Anonymousreply 5March 30, 2024 1:51 AM

She should try Ozempic.

by Anonymousreply 6March 30, 2024 1:51 AM

A musical flash in the pan.

Or deep fryer

by Anonymousreply 7March 30, 2024 1:52 AM

'My character being picked apart by people who don't know me and disrespecting my name.'

She has a point. But very thin-skinned. Also she's fallen into stereotyped tropes: 'My character being picked apart by people who don't know me and disrespecting my name.'

by Anonymousreply 8March 30, 2024 1:53 AM

Sounds like something that dumb junkie cunt Teacake would write, R8. And we all know how much he lies.

by Anonymousreply 9March 30, 2024 1:55 AM

I'm all for body positivity but she's simply too fat. It's not healthy. I'm sure she gets a scary lecture every time she goes to the doctor.

by Anonymousreply 10March 30, 2024 1:57 AM

She uses an LP as a tortilla chip.

by Anonymousreply 11March 30, 2024 1:58 AM

If she's not serious and is only saying it because she wants the world to beg her not to quit, it's going to be awkward:

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by Anonymousreply 12March 30, 2024 2:05 AM

She can now focus on what she does best. Eating.

by Anonymousreply 13March 30, 2024 2:06 AM

Good bye, get out!

by Anonymousreply 14March 30, 2024 2:22 AM

And she just performed for the Joe Biden fundraiser last night!

I bet Bill Clinton tried to feel her up.

by Anonymousreply 15March 30, 2024 2:24 AM

The retirement will be brief, she'll soon be recording again with a new album, "Ol' Brown Eyes Is Back".

by Anonymousreply 16March 30, 2024 2:36 AM

Oh, honey, she's only got one brown eye, and it's extremely brown due to the limitation of her reach.

by Anonymousreply 17March 30, 2024 2:38 AM

But if she quits music, who will delight audiences everywhere with the sounds of the jazz flute?

by Anonymousreply 18March 30, 2024 2:41 AM

"yazz floot"

by Anonymousreply 19March 30, 2024 2:42 AM

She quilts? Figures she'd choose a hobby that doesn't burn calories.

by Anonymousreply 20March 30, 2024 2:45 AM

Liza has said that she will step in and fulfill all the remaining music commitments.

by Anonymousreply 21March 30, 2024 2:47 AM

Maybe she’s going back to college to earn her degree in flauting.

by Anonymousreply 22March 30, 2024 2:52 AM

She's going back to her one true love - HVAC maintenance and air conditioner repair.

by Anonymousreply 23March 30, 2024 2:54 AM

"I'm starting to feel like the world doesn't want me in it."

You performed for the most powerful man on earth mere HOURS ago, but it's still not enough. What an egomaniacal monster.

by Anonymousreply 24March 30, 2024 2:57 AM

Beware of ham samiches.

by Anonymousreply 25March 30, 2024 2:59 AM

[quote] "I'm starting to feel like the world doesn't want me in it."

Because you have your own orbit.

by Anonymousreply 26March 30, 2024 2:59 AM

R26 = Al Bundy

by Anonymousreply 27March 30, 2024 3:02 AM

She wants to concentrate on her next film project:

MAMMY: The Hattie McDaniel Story

by Anonymousreply 28March 30, 2024 3:04 AM

And sales of the Wendy’s triple just plummeted.

by Anonymousreply 29March 30, 2024 3:05 AM

It’s because of the new fast food worker minimum wage, OP. She found out she can make more money as a fry cook in California, at least until the robots take over.

by Anonymousreply 30March 30, 2024 3:34 AM

You all need to try harder. None of your posts are funny so far. Try again.

by Anonymousreply 31March 30, 2024 3:38 AM

R31- a fat enby

by Anonymousreply 32March 30, 2024 3:41 AM

Hi Lizzo @ R31. Thanks for confirming you’re a lesbian.

by Anonymousreply 33March 30, 2024 3:43 AM

She’s sensitive, insecure, and constantly a victim. This isn’t the first time she’s said this, I don’t know why it’s being picked up by the news.

by Anonymousreply 34March 30, 2024 3:52 AM

[quote] She’s sensitive, insecure, and constantly a victim.

So pathetic.

by Anonymousreply 35March 30, 2024 3:55 AM

She's probably going to try her hand at acting, or become a talk show host.

by Anonymousreply 36March 30, 2024 4:09 AM

L’eggo my E’ggo!

by Anonymousreply 37March 30, 2024 4:10 AM

For someone who clearly appreciates your privacy and regular girl ways... You're sending mixed messages, Miss L

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by Anonymousreply 38March 30, 2024 4:13 AM

How can anyone write that Lizzo showed off her abs with a straight face? And I'm sure the pay isn't great. So many jobs I'd do before allowing myself to write blatant trash like that just because the "celebrity" said it. Pathetic!

by Anonymousreply 39March 30, 2024 4:21 AM

Like a trussed turkey on Thanksgiving.

by Anonymousreply 40March 30, 2024 4:23 AM

She's last year's black heffa!

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by Anonymousreply 41March 30, 2024 4:28 AM

What is this person famous for? Seriously. I've heard her name but have no clue what she does except be fat.

by Anonymousreply 42March 30, 2024 4:42 AM

Did she quit eatin? Oops… why do I do that?

by Anonymousreply 43March 30, 2024 5:34 AM

Good. Now get thee to a desert island and stop talking about yourself, you conceited, self-important and harassing bitch.

by Anonymousreply 44March 30, 2024 5:38 AM

35 years old and her tits are as saggy as a woman twice her age.

by Anonymousreply 45March 30, 2024 5:41 AM

r45 = Cloris Leachman

by Anonymousreply 46March 30, 2024 11:48 AM

I hope she gets appropriately medicated.

by Anonymousreply 47March 30, 2024 3:29 PM

We all know it’s Ozempic + surgeries to remove excess skin. She’ll be back in a year or so, depending on how hungry for attention she is.

by Anonymousreply 48March 30, 2024 4:33 PM

[quote]I bet Bill Clinton tried to feel her up.

R15, unless he had a foam hand like the one below, I doubt he could have done so.

Also, Lizzo is 20 years too old for him. 😏

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by Anonymousreply 49March 30, 2024 4:40 PM

R41 is that her?! Lol

by Anonymousreply 50March 30, 2024 5:46 PM

[quote] Lol

LoL! :)

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by Anonymousreply 51March 30, 2024 7:10 PM

She is so fat you guys.

by Anonymousreply 52March 30, 2024 8:49 PM

Beg mE! - Lizzo

by Anonymousreply 53March 31, 2024 12:02 AM

Lizzo says 𝐈 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 !

I'm not giving up music. ‘I quit giving any negative energy attention’

What a relief

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by Anonymousreply 54April 3, 2024 6:49 AM

Ive ust started writing my classic American novel...Moby Lizzo. Her blubber can fuel a city like Provincetown for a month.

by Anonymousreply 55April 3, 2024 7:15 AM

I thought she'd quit showing us her saggy tits.

by Anonymousreply 56April 3, 2024 8:49 AM
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