Professional DataLoungers, what are your skills? Your qualifications?

I have no skills.

I em arkitek and hoar.

Well, I can bake a goddamn cake, FFS.

My peak typing speed are 195 words per minute.

I do amazing shorthand dicktakeshon.

Many are dingbats.

Demented people think I’m adorable and I’m not afraid of shit or piss.

I can sniff out a cunt and/or a troll from light years away.

I can also quote Strunk & White's "Elements of Style" verbatim from memory.

I reign with my left hand, I rule with my right

I’m lord of all darkness, I’m queen of the night

The skill that got me furthest was having no fear of public speaking.

Surprise anal 😜

I have an exceptional knack for always picking the slowest checkout lane at the supermarket. That is my superpower.

I can suck a golf ball through 50' of garden hose.

Do you mean professional Dataloungers, as in we are paid to be Dataloungers, or professionals in some other field who also happen to be Dataloungers?

I can use chopsticks in either hand.

I can tell if you’re pregnant. I’m pretty sure it’s some scent you give off early on.

I can say "I don't know" in five different languages.

I have an uncanny knack for causing every green light I approach to turn yellow. It happens so often to me that it's a running joke with family members.

No skills, no qualifications. I've been faking it for many, many years. and it's gotten me this far.

[quote] I’m queen of the night

Any relation to Voice Of The Night?

I'm now and always have been on the legitimate stage.

I went to school to be a CNC Operator back in the 80's, and I did that for about 10 yrs. I'm a painter now, and I enjoy that much more.

@r16, "I can say "I don't know" in five different languages. "

Funny, I say, "Leave money on dresser" in 5 languages 🤔

I have a knack of making people feel at ease. Then they tell me way too much personal stuff. In the past I have been worried about being liked and I was a "people pleaser". I suspect I tell them what I know they want to hear and then they can't get enough of me. This is why I like to stay home and mind my own business as I get older. I just don't care anymore. Except about my partner, dog, family and a small handful of friends. The rest just exhaust me.

I post stories and pictures of cats. And pick fights with transphobes.

[quote] I post stories and pictures of cats.

Are they rescue cats?

I have an uncanny knack... of choosing the right wine for dinner...

In addition to my yellow traffic light-attracting abilities (as detailed above), I was reminded (on the walk I just got back from) about my uncanny ability to call turkeys with my turkey warble. It's in the way you thrust your tongue rapidly back and forth against the inside of your lips, and boy does it makes the wild turkeys call back to me! I just ran into a few, including a beautiful tom with his tail feathers fully fanned out.

[quote]Are they rescue cats?

you ask me that every time....

I can use my toes like fingers!

[quote]It's in the way you thrust your tongue rapidly back and forth against the inside of your lips, and boy does it makes the wild turkeys call back to me! I just ran into a few, including a beautiful tom with his tail feathers fully fanned out.

The way you say "the way you thrust your tongue rapidly back and forth against the inside of your lips".

I could be your beautiful Tom.

And I can FULLY fan out my tail feathers...

@r23, I don't know, but your whole post made me kind of uncomfortable 🥴

I'm excellent with strangers, not shy, and very easy to talk to.

I'm not a whiner, nor a foot-dragger, and I'm reliably on time for everything.

I can put a condom on a guy with my mouth.

[quote]I can put a condom on a guy with my mouth.

Yes! I once was in an HIV prevention, outreach training, and the trainer said she taught a class of prostitutes how to do that.

Hooker.

I can parallel park anywhere and in just a few quick moves. I often wish I had an audience.

^ Me too, I never understood the big deal about it. My driver's Ed teacher had a little routine he taught us to do in our heads that made it so easy. To this day I go through it every time I park. Works perfectly

I can spend other people's money like water, but turn off the hose when it comes to mine.

Chrome removal from bumpers.

Chrome removal from bumpers.

Chrome removal from bumpers.

Ok, besides my traffic light changing abilities and my sensuous turkey warbling, I also have done these things professionally (and am looking for a job!), not in any particular order:

Accounts Payable/Receivable Office Manager/Administrator/Human Resources (various jobs, including a gym) Health and Safety Plan Certification Aid (contract gig) Tech Support (Sony Vaio computers) Loan Processing Grant Writer/Administrator (for local government) Property Caretaker/Gardener Legal Assistant (Trademarks/Patents and Corporate Law) CNA at a VA Home (looooooooooong time ago) Executive Assistant/Commercial Real Estate Systems Analysis/Training

I'm missing a few in there somewhere.

R41 Why can't you hold a job?

Shitty formatting. Sorry.

Accounts Payable/Receivable

Office Manager/Administrator/Human Resources (various jobs, including a gym)

Health and Safety Plan Certification Aid (contract gig)

Tech Support (Sony Vaio computers)

Loan Processing Grant Writer/Administrator (for local government)

Property Caretaker/Gardener

Legal Assistant (Trademarks/Patents and Corporate Law)

CNA at a VA Home (looooooooooong time ago)

Executive Assistant/Commercial Real Estate

Systems Analysis/Training

r42 - I can hold a job. I wasn't let go/fired from any of these jobs EXCEPT the last one (Loan Processing) when the entire company was laid off because interest rates went up and our entire divisional structure went under. I'm 54 - what I listed is a lifetime of employment. I've never really believed in the whole "stay with a job for as long as possible" idea. I go where my interests and opportunities take me.

I've done a variety of things in a variety of sectors because I either was interested in learning new things or opportunities came up (moving across the country, other life events).

I've been unemployed (by choice) since Nov '21 when our whole business model folded because of the rise in interest rates. I made enough money to skate by until now, so need to find a job.

@r40, r39, r38, I never realized our Nancy had a stutter 😏

Sorry about that. Something caught in my throat. 🍆

^ Frank Sinatra?

Brevity is the soul of wit.