I'm the tofurky.
Let's Be a Lesbian Thanksgiving
|by Anonymous||reply 280||November 29, 2022 1:41 PM|
I'm the cranberry sauce dripping down my inner thighs.
|by Anonymous||reply 1||November 10, 2022 9:42 AM|
I am the bucket of KFC that always arrives with at least one lesbo.
|by Anonymous||reply 2||November 10, 2022 12:29 PM|
I'm the five canes in the hallway by the door. Judy, Judy, Pat, and Mary Jane are using theirs in the house however.
|by Anonymous||reply 3||November 10, 2022 12:38 PM|
I’m the pick up
|by Anonymous||reply 4||November 10, 2022 12:42 PM|
The street and driveway in front of the host house has more Subarus than the average well stocked Subaru dealer.
|by Anonymous||reply 5||November 10, 2022 12:45 PM|
I'm the quinoa salad molded in the shape of the turkey that won't be served on Vegetarian Thanksgiving.
|by Anonymous||reply 6||November 10, 2022 1:01 PM|
I’m the Indigo Girls cassette playing in the background.
|by Anonymous||reply 7||November 10, 2022 1:04 PM|
I’m the 15th iteration of this singularly wit free thread.
|by Anonymous||reply 8||November 10, 2022 1:07 PM|
I'm the pot. Copious amounts.
|by Anonymous||reply 9||November 10, 2022 1:14 PM|
I’m the fish smell that is rampant.
|by Anonymous||reply 10||November 10, 2022 1:37 PM|
Mein Furher!!! There was already a thread about this years ago.
|by Anonymous||reply 11||November 10, 2022 1:51 PM|
I'm the football blaring on the TV.
|by Anonymous||reply 12||November 10, 2022 2:40 PM|
We're Pat and Kathy. We're not sure why we were invited.
|by Anonymous||reply 13||November 10, 2022 4:23 PM|
I'm the Turkey baster loaded up with baby batter.
|by Anonymous||reply 14||November 10, 2022 4:35 PM|
I'm the stories that are meant to be funny but somehow just...aren't.
Did Mary Jane tell you what happened to her at Costco yesterday?
|by Anonymous||reply 15||November 10, 2022 5:42 PM|
I’m the snatch breath on Etta Mae. She loves eating pussy!
|by Anonymous||reply 16||November 10, 2022 6:59 PM|
I am the butt crack showing when I bend down just like straight fat white dudes.
|by Anonymous||reply 17||November 11, 2022 3:31 AM|
I'm the free bread pudding
|by Anonymous||reply 18||November 11, 2022 3:35 AM|
The Turkey blaster cannot be used for food.
|by Anonymous||reply 19||November 11, 2022 4:17 AM|
I'm the processing through tears coming up after dessert.
|by Anonymous||reply 20||November 11, 2022 4:19 AM|
I'm the nutloaf stuffing. And the nut-free, 'mock nutloaf stuffing' for the allergic gals amongst us.
|by Anonymous||reply 21||November 11, 2022 4:52 AM|
I'm the crate filled with "Free to a loving, and intensively investigated home" [bold]Thanksgiving Kittens.
|by Anonymous||reply 22||November 11, 2022 5:08 AM|
I’m the “NO SCENTS” sign hanging next to the doorbell.
|by Anonymous||reply 23||November 11, 2022 5:27 AM|
I'm the "queer" friend, who really wasn't invited but shows up anyway, and has never actually been with a woman, but I talk about our collective struggle as often as I can.
|by Anonymous||reply 24||November 11, 2022 5:52 AM|
I'm the Birkenstocks lined up in the entryway.
|by Anonymous||reply 25||November 11, 2022 6:31 AM|
I'm the winged mullet that transitions from the lumber counter at Home Depot to a "Friendsgiving" feast.
No working stylist can replicate it, but half the "sisters" in attendance have been rocking it since the 80's.
|by Anonymous||reply 26||November 11, 2022 9:37 AM|
I'm the out of touch old gay man who thinks his wildly outdated and utterly unrealistic caricatures of gay women are amusing somehow. I'm so predictable and kind of an embarrassment..
|by Anonymous||reply 27||November 11, 2022 9:46 AM|
I'm the Pumpkin Cheesecake Bars, because Pumpkin Pie 🥧 is a disgusting symbol of the patriarchy!
|by Anonymous||reply 28||November 11, 2022 10:50 AM|
I am the Lemon Drop shots to separate the boys, er um, the dykes form the fems.
|by Anonymous||reply 29||November 11, 2022 11:23 AM|
I’m the bitter manhater who can’t take a joke, used to be Michfest regular, and still call myself a separatist. I just can’t seem to get away from men though.
|by Anonymous||reply 30||November 11, 2022 3:16 PM|
I'm the insensitive dyke who brought her penised person child.
|by Anonymous||reply 31||November 11, 2022 3:56 PM|
This thread is NOT funny.
|by Anonymous||reply 32||November 11, 2022 4:03 PM|
|by Anonymous||reply 33||November 11, 2022 4:05 PM|
I'm "A League of Their Own." I've been waiting in the DVD player since last year's festivities ended early and abruptly. Thanks Sarge.
|by Anonymous||reply 34||November 11, 2022 5:19 PM|
I'm the pot of giblets simmering on the stove. They're for the blind and incontinent rescue foster dog brought along for the day because Pat didn't want to leave him alone all day. He would have been much less stressed out at home.
|by Anonymous||reply 35||November 11, 2022 7:56 PM|
I'm turqoise jewelry, feathers, imitation buckskin wearing pretendian Vulva Raindancesongwind, my pronouns are them/they, i'm neurodivergent and only have 1 spoon left to give for my dear sweet cista r27 who is right this so outdated, which is why i'm smearing my face with period blood and protesting this entire colonial transphobic event.
|by Anonymous||reply 36||November 11, 2022 8:56 PM|
I am the vegan, gluten-free stuffing. Except with the hair or two from the cats and/or dogs, it’s not truly vegan.
|by Anonymous||reply 37||November 12, 2022 1:36 AM|
I am the boy with two butch moms who has no friends because he is approaching puberty and already looks like a chubby baby dyke. Mom A is trying to do a good job, but Mom B wants nothing to do with a growing penis in her orbit. They try to have male figures come around once in a blue moon but it never rubs off because they are seen as necessary evils for the child's development and not something they enjoy or would do if they didn't feel obligated to.
|by Anonymous||reply 38||November 12, 2022 12:22 PM|
I’m Barb. I’m the elder Lez who settles all disputes amongst the girls each holiday after I’ve had Turkey. My judgements are strictly followed by everyone in our circle.
|by Anonymous||reply 39||November 12, 2022 12:31 PM|
|by Anonymous||reply 40||November 12, 2022 12:50 PM|
I'm Sal. There are stories how this now ancient dyke was once the hottest lipstick in town but internalized misogny screams out it's a trap. Every twenty minutes she leans to the side and raises a buttcheek, realsing a massive fart as she cackles and slaps you on the back. Your eyes water, your nostrils enflamed, you swear you can taste it. You're ready to crawl into under the house and die.
|by Anonymous||reply 41||November 12, 2022 12:58 PM|
I’m Big Ann. Make sure I have a real dining room chair and not some kind of folding chair, but don’t say anything out loud about it or there’ll be an incident.
|by Anonymous||reply 42||November 12, 2022 1:09 PM|
I am large Marge and will always be in charge.
|by Anonymous||reply 43||November 12, 2022 1:14 PM|
I'm the beer and cigarette run at 11am. There's no way the 4 bottles of wine on the counter are going to put the happy in this Thanksgiving.
|by Anonymous||reply 44||November 12, 2022 1:52 PM|
I'm the gluten-free vegan meal offered to those who are gluten-free AND vegan. Dammit why did you have to invite Brenda?
|by Anonymous||reply 45||November 12, 2022 1:59 PM|
I’m the 3 rescue pit bulls and their owners’ automatically defensive speech about how wonderful of a breed we are. “Don’t worry they won’t hurt you, they’re super sweet. You know they get a bad rap, but it’s all in how you raise them.”
We’ll wait under a table for scraps and hopefully it’s enough food, because if someone rubs us the wrong way we might rip a face off tonight.
Our names are Angel, Teensy, and Spencer.
|by Anonymous||reply 46||November 12, 2022 2:11 PM|
I’m the endless conversation about Tàr.
Does a great lesbian artist need to be a great lesbian person?
|by Anonymous||reply 47||November 12, 2022 2:16 PM|
I’m the icy 🥶 Schlitz Beer cans and the American Spirits
|by Anonymous||reply 48||November 12, 2022 2:20 PM|
R48 actually Donna didn’t put enough ice in the cooler last night, so they’re tepid at best.
|by Anonymous||reply 49||November 12, 2022 2:23 PM|
I'm the vicious argument over whether the tea is pumpkin spice or chai.
|by Anonymous||reply 50||November 12, 2022 2:50 PM|
“Bev, I’m not telling you again… that goddamn tea is fucking Pumpkin Spice! I know, because I bought it at Dollar Tree years ago! If Donna finds the box you’re gonna be proven wrong.”
|by Anonymous||reply 51||November 12, 2022 3:05 PM|
I'm Rosie O'Donnell's latest foster child, hiding food.
|by Anonymous||reply 52||November 12, 2022 3:45 PM|
I'm the same thread from 2018
|by Anonymous||reply 53||November 12, 2022 4:23 PM|
We can’t be NEW & IMPROVED
|by Anonymous||reply 54||November 13, 2022 7:43 AM|
I'm the mid dinner lecture about how Thanksgiving is a patriarchal colonialist construct. Yet here we are anyway, celebrating OUR version of it.
|by Anonymous||reply 55||November 13, 2022 7:50 AM|
I'm the next idiot that will complain but there can't be another thread like this every fucking year because we did one way back when and the thread is closed. Waaah. Pass the giblets.
|by Anonymous||reply 56||November 13, 2022 7:56 AM|
It should be a Happy 😃 DL tradition
|by Anonymous||reply 57||November 13, 2022 7:58 AM|
Mock all you like, the fact is that Lesbians tend to be awesome people and we should appreciate them.
I was at a wildlife preserve today, there was a sick bird by the trail and everyone who walked by asked if anyone was "... going to do something". Well, what do you think happened? Some unfeminine older women came along, threw a jacket over the bird and bunged it into a dog carrier they happened to have along, and said they knew where a wildlife rescue place was open on a Sunday! If something needs doing, and it needs to be done quickly and competently, ask a lesbian.
|by Anonymous||reply 58||November 14, 2022 4:15 AM|
There's nobody to fly the plane!! Are there any lesbians on board?
|by Anonymous||reply 59||November 14, 2022 5:00 AM|
There’s nothing wrong with a little humor, dear. For Gawd’s sake don’t summon that Womanface troll who will hijack the thread to rant about drag queens more than any Trumptard you’ve ever met. Ugh.
|by Anonymous||reply 60||November 14, 2022 5:49 AM|
They just happened to have a spare dog crate and know a wildlife center that was open Sunday? How fortunate.
Too bad the bird can’t tell us how it got “sick.” No matter—rescue was at hand. Bird gets saved and the ever-prepared lesbian gets rescue karma and a story that will be well-told.
|by Anonymous||reply 61||November 14, 2022 6:19 AM|
I’m the endless sight of cargo shorts. Just like the turkey, my private region has been groomed and stuffed to appear larger for this evening’s “dinner”…
|by Anonymous||reply 62||November 14, 2022 6:26 AM|
I’m the omnipresent giblets—and not just the ones that go with the turkey.
|by Anonymous||reply 63||November 14, 2022 7:42 AM|
I'm the sick bird, nursed to a healthy weight by heroic, hunter-gatherer lesbians. I'll be served next to the tofurky.
|by Anonymous||reply 64||November 14, 2022 10:51 AM|
Everyone be dancing like Ellen
|by Anonymous||reply 65||November 14, 2022 4:42 PM|
We're the LL Bean Fleece-Lined Primaloft Vests everyone wore to the dinner, and now covering the couch in the den. We're an assortment of colors in burgundy, glacier and spruce pine - all in XL.
|by Anonymous||reply 66||November 14, 2022 4:56 PM|
I'm the nutloaf at 10 p.m. Only one slice of me was taken all day. I will be taken home, frozen and then thawed out on December 31 for the New Year's Eve potluck.
|by Anonymous||reply 67||November 14, 2022 5:08 PM|
Again, I'm the impromptu yoga class in the den, held in silent protest of that folksinging going on in the living room.
|by Anonymous||reply 68||November 14, 2022 5:10 PM|
This is remarkably hate free, we have to respect our rather larger sisters even as we comedically celebrate them
|by Anonymous||reply 69||November 14, 2022 5:25 PM|
I'm the Melissa Etheridge catalog playing on a loop in the background.
|by Anonymous||reply 70||November 14, 2022 5:28 PM|
Not finding homophobic and misogynistic "jokes" about gay women is man hating, R30? If we spouted the same disgusting, ignorant filth about gay men you'd accuse us of homophobia, you loathsome hypocritical prick. Homophobia seems to only ever apply to gay men..
|by Anonymous||reply 71||November 14, 2022 5:35 PM|
I'm the THAT'S NOT FUNNY!
|by Anonymous||reply 72||November 14, 2022 5:54 PM|
No, r72, you aren’t.
|by Anonymous||reply 73||November 14, 2022 5:56 PM|
I am the actual lesbian Thanksgiving potluck full of women with interesting lives, who don't give a fuck what anyone thinks of their style choices. Since there is a James Beard Award winner attending, the turkey will be amazing, with white truffle stuffing. She's made a walnut pate with caramelized onions and cognac for the vegetarians. Her partner is a world renowned pastry chef, who has made 3 different pies and a cheese cake. We are thankful there are no prissy men to take credit or all of the air in the room.
|by Anonymous||reply 74||November 14, 2022 5:58 PM|
We're the hurt feelings. Because no one as hurt our pussies in years.
|by Anonymous||reply 75||November 14, 2022 6:24 PM|
[quote]who don't give a fuck what anyone thinks of their style choices
Those are choices?
|by Anonymous||reply 76||November 14, 2022 6:27 PM|
DIAGF, you humorless cuntress, R71.
|by Anonymous||reply 77||November 14, 2022 10:28 PM|
Instead of telling competitive stories about our children, the talk is competitive stories about what we rescued our pets from!
|by Anonymous||reply 78||November 14, 2022 10:47 PM|
I'm Mel, and after eighteen Thanksgivings with my gal pals, I was told this year I wasn't invited. Why ? Because I made the transition from 'Melanie' to 'Melvin' - and now I'm no longer lesbian but transgender. And unwelcome.
So this year, I shall be alone at my kitchen table eating Thanksgiving dinner - but actually starting anew tradition of 'Transgender Thanksgiving'.
|by Anonymous||reply 79||November 15, 2022 2:29 AM|
^Now I’m sad. Thanks, Mel.
|by Anonymous||reply 80||November 15, 2022 5:43 AM|
I'm large Marge, ready to hit Home Depot at midnight, to save on Black Friday deals for a new snow plow for the home. Big Angie said she's interested in one, too so we'll go up together.
|by Anonymous||reply 81||November 15, 2022 5:19 PM|
I'm the Judy Chicago inspired dinner plates and setting.
You should see large Marge eat from me sans a knife and fork. She just gets stuck in, face down and munches from the plate. Brine or gravy dribbling down her chin!
|by Anonymous||reply 82||November 15, 2022 5:24 PM|
I'm the sense of humor, and I was pointedly NOT invited.
|by Anonymous||reply 83||November 15, 2022 5:31 PM|
We're the regulars, outside drinking beer, playing cornhole, throwing lit butts at feral cats, and ignoring the dinner inside that was done hours ago. Some of us head in to check the score, drop a deuce, grab some chips and send a text. Oh shit, we're too drunk to text.
|by Anonymous||reply 84||November 15, 2022 6:34 PM|
I'm the overused toilet in the guest bathroom. 'Nuff said.
|by Anonymous||reply 85||November 15, 2022 11:47 PM|
Mel, you should start your own thread.
|by Anonymous||reply 86||November 16, 2022 8:09 AM|
I'm the King Size Avocado mattress the hosts just bought a few weeks ago for the master bed, and has kept quiet about. They remember when they bought the Purple mattress a few years ago and told the gals - everyone decided to 'try it out' before they left and ruined the mattress beyond warranty. The last thing the hosts want is for these amazons in the dining room to come in here and make 'snow angels' on me.
|by Anonymous||reply 87||November 17, 2022 2:46 PM|
I'm the argument over money wasted on fresh cranberries, when the canned and long-expired kind found in the garbage room of the apartment complex would've been sufficient.
|by Anonymous||reply 88||November 17, 2022 2:57 PM|
are all Lezzies poor?
|by Anonymous||reply 89||November 17, 2022 3:14 PM|
As someone who used to work at a mattress store…I totally laughed out loud at the above mattress post.
I don’t know how or why but lesbians always ruined their mattress beyond warranty when I worked there….and was always upset when the said warranty wasn’t eligible.
|by Anonymous||reply 90||November 17, 2022 3:19 PM|
[R90] I'm glad I gave you your laugh for the day.
It's funny because I know a lesbian couple (average sized) who are constantly buying top-of-the-line mattresses, and then calling the store within a year - complaining something isn't right with the mattress. Somehow, over the past ten years or so, they must've gotten five new mattresses from their original purchase.
I don't know any gay male couples or straight couples who go through mattresses so quickly.
|by Anonymous||reply 91||November 17, 2022 4:31 PM|
Have we run out of ideas ? It's too soon to run out of ideas !
|by Anonymous||reply 92||November 20, 2022 4:58 AM|
I'm saying "what does this remind you of" while stuffing the turkey.
|by Anonymous||reply 93||November 20, 2022 5:06 AM|
R41 lmfao. One of the best posts here for sure.
|by Anonymous||reply 94||November 20, 2022 5:54 AM|
These anecdotes about the lesbians and mattress warranties. Are dykes stingy/frugal or just always ready to complain?
Considering lesbian bed death, I'm surprised the mattresses need to be exchanged so frequently.
|by Anonymous||reply 95||November 20, 2022 7:42 AM|
I’m the unshaven chins, legs, pits, and wildly overgrown beavers that are on full display. My body, MY FORREST!!!!!
I’m also found in most of the food that Sammee and Tylur bring because their homeopathic treatments for treating alopecia are stupid.
|by Anonymous||reply 96||November 20, 2022 8:51 AM|
[quote] I’m Barb. I’m the elder Lez who settles all disputes amongst the girls each holiday after I’ve had Turkey. My judgements are strictly followed by everyone in our circle.
The Court of Ellen and Terminer
|by Anonymous||reply 97||November 20, 2022 8:56 AM|
|by Anonymous||reply 98||November 20, 2022 9:23 AM|
I’m the stretch pants!
|by Anonymous||reply 99||November 20, 2022 9:28 AM|
I'm the U-Haul parked in front of house.
|by Anonymous||reply 100||November 20, 2022 9:44 AM|
I'm the talk of the unseasonable warmth for this time of year.
"Hillary could've stopped this"
"You mean Jill Stein"
An awkward silence and then the conversation moves onto Megan Rapinoe.
|by Anonymous||reply 101||November 20, 2022 11:32 AM|
I'm the curt reminder that I will be having a showing of my work in January and you are ALL expected to attend. I will be sprinkled liberally into conversation throughout the whole evening.
|by Anonymous||reply 102||November 20, 2022 11:35 AM|
I am this photo. One of the two that spring to mind whenever this event takes place.
|by Anonymous||reply 103||November 20, 2022 11:38 AM|
I am this photo. One of the two that spring to mind whenever this event takes place.
|by Anonymous||reply 104||November 20, 2022 11:38 AM|
Most lesbians I know are either feminine or have a casual look. This sounds more like stereotypical lesbians from 1970s and 80s, when all the feminine ones were invisible, since people thought all lesbians are butch Harley Davidson driving, mullet having ones.
|by Anonymous||reply 105||November 20, 2022 11:40 AM|
R105 That's the problem with these threads....there are as many different kinds of lesbian archtypes as there are gay male. The DL being mostly gay male and older has issues with keeping them 'straight' so to speak. They really love to mix up old school dyke types of the mullet wearing/softball playing, beer drinking, blue collar persuasion with the old school militant radical lesbian feminist types who are the ones who tend to be more p.c. and eat nut loaf.
The DL isn't very interested in actual mainstream lesbians who are quite a lot alike mainstream gays....they live in nice boring homes and wear nice boring clothes and have a bit of money and try to take care of themselves and eat right and exercise. But, they're boring and not much fun to make fun of.
|by Anonymous||reply 106||November 20, 2022 11:57 AM|
[quote][R105] That's the problem with these threads....there are as many different kinds of lesbian archtypes as there are gay male. The DL being mostly gay male and older has issues with keeping them 'straight' so to speak. They really love to mix up old school dyke types of the mullet wearing/softball playing, beer drinking, blue collar persuasion with the old school militant radical lesbian feminist types who are the ones who tend to be more p.c. and eat nut loaf.
That's what great about this Thanksgiving -- they're all invited!
|by Anonymous||reply 107||November 20, 2022 12:00 PM|
I'm the prescription pill bottles in the hall bathroom medicine cabinet. I have every guest's fingerprints on me.
|by Anonymous||reply 108||November 20, 2022 12:09 PM|
I'm the softball injury the joint pain that necessitates said pills is attributed to. My weight will have NO BEARING on my joint pain.
|by Anonymous||reply 109||November 20, 2022 12:13 PM|
[quote] I’m the 15th iteration of this singularly wit free thread.
I'm the mood of the party the thread must have accurately captured then.
|by Anonymous||reply 110||November 20, 2022 12:31 PM|
I'm the petition being passed. Everyone must sign me before dinner can be served.
|by Anonymous||reply 111||November 20, 2022 2:06 PM|
I’m the thermostat in the photo at R104, set at a nice, comfortable 58 degrees. Since we’re having company, my owner turned me up from my usual 55 degrees.
|by Anonymous||reply 112||November 20, 2022 2:13 PM|
Regarding R104, that photo is the archetypal lesbian get together. Zero interest in fashion, middle aged men's haircuts, stood around talking about power tools or u-hauls.
|by Anonymous||reply 113||November 20, 2022 3:21 PM|
If R104 was a still from a movie I'd accuse the director of being unsubtle.
|by Anonymous||reply 114||November 20, 2022 4:31 PM|
I'm Rosie, and I'm here to mention our friend Pam from the 90s is opening a new dyke bar tonight, down on Main Street where Pep Boys used to be. I look around the table to see who wants to go - the target audience is 55+ lesbians. We all feign interest and say we should support this newest business venture she's starting, one of a dozen over the past 25 years.
|by Anonymous||reply 115||November 20, 2022 4:46 PM|
I'm later in the evening when the girls begrudgingly decamp downtown to the bar. We arrive to discover a loud shouting match in the kitchen, the words 'ADVOCAAT IS COLONIALISM!' scrawled on the walls, and the all-female staff sitting in a protest circle in the middle of the floor chanting something about patriarchy and capitalism.
|by Anonymous||reply 116||November 20, 2022 4:52 PM|
I'm the deck that collapses and the drama that ensues afterwards.
2,400 lbs of a dozen dykes collapse the deck that Fran built herself. Half of the dykes launch a lawsuit against Fran and in court reject her legal defense's fatphobic arguments. The other half accuse that half of being patriarchal handmaidens for suing a strong woman who built a deck with no help from a man. The friend group will split down the middle forever.
|by Anonymous||reply 117||November 20, 2022 6:03 PM|
I'm R106. I'm the reason stereotypical lesbian threads exist.
|by Anonymous||reply 118||November 20, 2022 6:04 PM|
We're the two Eldergays the lesbians invited for dinner
We've been sitting in the corner all night making jokes about nutloaf, Nan Michiganwomyn, vagina capes, Subarus, body hair and Meredith Baxter Lesbian.
We become very offended however, when one of the lesbians asks us who we are rooting for on RuPaul Drag Race this year because why do they assume that all gay men are into the same things?
|by Anonymous||reply 119||November 20, 2022 6:07 PM|
[quote]We become very offended however, when one of the lesbians asks us who we are rooting for on RuPaul Drag Race this year because why do they assume that all gay men are into the same things?
No, we don't become offended. We happily discuss how much better this season's Snatch Game than last season's and then laugh at what a hot mess everyone -- including ourselves -- are!
|by Anonymous||reply 120||November 20, 2022 6:10 PM|
We're the bloodied and bruised from R117 , crawling off into the dark night because those court orders we've dodged all these years are not going to catch us over some shitty deck fail. Fuck you Capital One!
|by Anonymous||reply 121||November 20, 2022 6:10 PM|
I love that R120 is offended by a hypothetical.
|by Anonymous||reply 122||November 20, 2022 6:12 PM|
I'm the potluck math: every dyke thinks it's acceptable to bring five pounds worth of food, yet expects to consume ten pounds worth of food.
|by Anonymous||reply 123||November 20, 2022 6:14 PM|
I'm the irony of R105 bemoaning supposedly non-existent stereotypes beneath that photo at R104.
|by Anonymous||reply 124||November 20, 2022 6:18 PM|
I'm meat. I'm allowed but you're not allowed to actually enjoy me or suggest I'm superior superior to vegetarian alternatives. It would probably be easier if I went back to being disallowed at this annual shindig as I was from 1994-1998 and 2008-2019.
|by Anonymous||reply 125||November 20, 2022 6:23 PM|
I am the cans of La Croix.
|by Anonymous||reply 126||November 20, 2022 6:53 PM|
I'm Steve, the host's 50-something younger brother who stops by for dessert every year. I've been through three marriages and five kids so far. I've been working security down at the hospital for the past 27 years, and on Thanksgiving I work 7 - 7. I had a free turkey dinner in the cafeteria, and now I stop by for coffee and pie. And every year, I ask "Any of you women find a guy to marry you this year ?" never adept at reading the room.
|by Anonymous||reply 127||November 20, 2022 8:28 PM|
Safeway flavored seltzer, R126.
|by Anonymous||reply 128||November 20, 2022 8:36 PM|
Serious question. Why are they wearing parkas INSIDE the house at R104?
|by Anonymous||reply 129||November 20, 2022 8:48 PM|
To avoid the male gaze.
|by Anonymous||reply 130||November 20, 2022 8:51 PM|
r129 see r112
|by Anonymous||reply 131||November 20, 2022 8:59 PM|
I'm the lies about any and every thing.
|by Anonymous||reply 132||November 21, 2022 6:47 AM|
I'm the smell of fish.
(Fish is not on the menu)
|by Anonymous||reply 133||November 21, 2022 6:52 AM|
I’m the carb heavy menu which is tackled with relish & abandon
|by Anonymous||reply 134||November 21, 2022 8:50 AM|
^I’m the thick fatted Graxy that weaponizes said fare
|by Anonymous||reply 135||November 21, 2022 8:55 AM|
I'm the furious lesbian posting on Datalounge in the middle of dinner. "So hypocritical. Can you imagine if we made jokes about gay men!"
Clueless to the fact that gay men would be the first to join in making jokes about gay men.
|by Anonymous||reply 136||November 21, 2022 9:13 AM|
I'm the health ailments which dominate conversation. Trick knees, fibro, Morgellon's, CFS, and, most of all, gallstones... which lesbians get at a higher rate than straight women.
|by Anonymous||reply 137||November 21, 2022 9:15 AM|
Question. Just curious. For you hard core lesbians, if you see an image of a vagina do you get throbbing clitoris?
Would you eat out a passed out straight drunk woman whom you have the hots for? I.e. she’ll never know.
Would you force sex in prison?
(Honest answers from lesbians, sil vous plait…).
|by Anonymous||reply 138||November 21, 2022 9:23 AM|
To follow up: is it a moral quagmire to take advantage of a person whom you strongly believe are victimized by the male population as it is already?
|by Anonymous||reply 139||November 21, 2022 9:25 AM|
Wish most lesbians were like DL describes them. And not usually the coolest chicks. Then I wouldn't constantly falling for them.
|by Anonymous||reply 140||November 21, 2022 9:28 AM|
Who wouldn't fall for someone you could share tools and work boots with?
|by Anonymous||reply 141||November 21, 2022 10:09 AM|
Snort. Gay men are notoriously thin skinned about being the object of any kind of ridicule.
Now, many gay men enjoy ragging on anyone they feel SUPERIOR to....including other gay men not up to their standards.
But, if you made fun of your average snotty 20something/ 30something to their face they're either going to get defensive and mean and bitchy and retaliate quite viciously or fall apart and leave the room in tears.
|by Anonymous||reply 142||November 21, 2022 10:39 AM|
"Now, many gay men enjoy ragging on anyone they feel SUPERIOR to....including other gay men not up to their standards."
Good thing you're on this thread R142 , because that's not what's happening here.
We're ragging on Lesbians and their Thanksgiving hilarity.
|by Anonymous||reply 143||November 21, 2022 10:55 AM|
I'm the straight women they invite who never come.
|by Anonymous||reply 144||November 21, 2022 10:57 AM|
I see the Daughters of Bilitis has arrived. Bizarre that you’re here complaining about gay men. Have you ever met one? No, your family members don’t count, nor does anyone you met pre-Stonewall.
|by Anonymous||reply 145||November 21, 2022 10:58 AM|
Really, R127? He goes to a lesbian Thanksgiving EVERY year, has a sister who is a lesbian......and he doesn't know they are all LESBIANS.
|by Anonymous||reply 146||November 21, 2022 11:30 AM|
R142 = the truest stereotype on this thread.
|by Anonymous||reply 147||November 21, 2022 11:33 AM|
I love the open box of cookies @ R104. The cookies still in the package insert, sitting on top of the box. The host at that gathering really doesn't have any fucks to give. LOL.
|by Anonymous||reply 148||November 21, 2022 11:35 AM|
|by Anonymous||reply 149||November 21, 2022 11:43 AM|
Order of supremacy in R104
Second from right
First from left
Third from right
Second from left
First from right
|by Anonymous||reply 150||November 21, 2022 1:03 PM|
[quote]sil vous plait…).
|by Anonymous||reply 151||November 21, 2022 1:17 PM|
So they finally let Big Patty Krenwinkle out
|by Anonymous||reply 152||November 21, 2022 1:21 PM|
I'm the five foot, 2012 Justin Bieber lookalike with a tattoo sleeve and various minor misdemeanor convictions. My age is uncertain. I could be fourteen or forty. By the end of this evening some of the silverware will be missing. I will be responsible.
|by Anonymous||reply 153||November 21, 2022 1:25 PM|
I am the boundaries that have been clearly stated
|by Anonymous||reply 154||November 21, 2022 1:34 PM|
[quote] Clueless to the fact that gay men would be the first to join in making jokes about gay men to prove that they, in fact, are superior to, and unlike most gay men, who are, after all, a bunch of hopeless sissies and flaming harpies who probably should just have transed
|by Anonymous||reply 155||November 21, 2022 1:35 PM|
R141 Because lesbians that you are talking about here make maybe 10% of the lesbian population. The majority of them are the coolest chicks
|by Anonymous||reply 156||November 21, 2022 1:40 PM|
I'm walking on broken glass -- in reference to both the Annie Lennox song that is playing in the background and the general atmosphere of the party.
(And later the literal broken beer bottles following the scuffle on the deck)
|by Anonymous||reply 157||November 21, 2022 1:42 PM|
R150 Jesus, you sound like me when I was explaining to my mother what social hierarchy rank her pack of 5 horses and ponies had. (Except it's much easier to tell - it's the order in which they got to eat from the food bucket that tells it.)
|by Anonymous||reply 158||November 21, 2022 1:43 PM|
The best thing about these threads is that the stereotypes Eldergays have about lesbians and straight men are remarkably similar.
|by Anonymous||reply 159||November 21, 2022 1:44 PM|
I'm the acoustic guitar the guests spot sitting by the fireplace and internally groan at as they enter.
|by Anonymous||reply 160||November 21, 2022 1:45 PM|
I'm the one who hasn't been vegan for a decade. I keep up the pretense when I see the girls here once a year though. I'm too embarrassed at my previous stridency to back down from it. I will be hitting up KFC on the way home.
|by Anonymous||reply 161||November 21, 2022 1:49 PM|
I'm all the clutter guests have to move to make room on to sit down on the couch: thirty year old psychology textbooks, a cat or two, pruning shears, and a beaded car seat cover.
|by Anonymous||reply 162||November 21, 2022 1:52 PM|
I'm R156 sharing lots of judgement of what others post, but no clever retorts to dispel any of it.
|by Anonymous||reply 163||November 21, 2022 1:55 PM|
I'm the one who managed to write a journal article about the evening.
|by Anonymous||reply 164||November 21, 2022 2:00 PM|
|by Anonymous||reply 165||November 21, 2022 2:12 PM|
my dinner with andre (a non-binary queer friend)
|by Anonymous||reply 166||November 21, 2022 2:16 PM|
Lesbians are cowardly hypocrites that perpetuate male dominance and envy male sexual prowess. That’s all I can deduce now due to non-response to probing questions.
When it comes down to sexual issues, it seems lesbians are similar to male proclivities.
|by Anonymous||reply 167||November 21, 2022 2:32 PM|
R163 Are you touched in the head? Don't answer.
|by Anonymous||reply 168||November 21, 2022 3:02 PM|
Fun thread, regardless. Continue..
|by Anonymous||reply 169||November 21, 2022 3:10 PM|
R156 nice try Trixie, I’m having toooo much fun 🤩 to guilt trip me! you can go back to blowing Fred(also a lesbian, 2nd from right)
Just because we make fun of them, doesn’t mean they aren’t cool 😎 chicks
|by Anonymous||reply 170||November 21, 2022 3:26 PM|
I'm the quick, furtive glances thrown around constantly.
|by Anonymous||reply 171||November 21, 2022 3:39 PM|
‘nice try Ethel’ just didn’t have any melody 🎶
|by Anonymous||reply 172||November 21, 2022 3:40 PM|
I can’t believe no one’s talking about Krenwinkle’s jailbreak considering what hell Kasabian’s parole brings up
|by Anonymous||reply 173||November 21, 2022 3:47 PM|
I am the Album covers of Tori Amos hung up on the wall. I am the listening to Raspberry Swirl by Tori Amos.
|by Anonymous||reply 174||November 21, 2022 3:56 PM|
I'm Greta, the owner / operator of "Fantastic Sam's" about a mile down the road. I gave these twelve women the same $10.99 Flowbee "special" the past three days at the salon. This is why they all have the same haircut, though in different shades of silver and gray.
|by Anonymous||reply 175||November 21, 2022 4:53 PM|
I'm tears, screaming, hard-flung Joni Mitchell cassettes, and shattered breast casts that mark the evening's end.
|by Anonymous||reply 176||November 21, 2022 4:59 PM|
I'm the topics of conversation: toxic shock syndrome, WNBA, and cat care.
|by Anonymous||reply 177||November 21, 2022 5:29 PM|
I've been in this thread so long that my period is synchronizing with those dykes.
|by Anonymous||reply 178||November 21, 2022 6:17 PM|
[quote]I don't know any gay male couples or straight couples who go through mattresses so quickly.
Is that what is meant by "lesbian bed death?"
|by Anonymous||reply 179||November 21, 2022 6:18 PM|
I'm the copy of "Rubyfruit Jungle" still on the coffee table from last Christmas. Everyone pretends to have read me, but still nobody has.
|by Anonymous||reply 180||November 21, 2022 6:20 PM|
I'm the intense, intense planning in the groupchat before the event. Thousands of messages are exchanged discussing who's bring what, who's allergic to what, and any other special requirements or 'boundaries' that might be relevant.
Less planning went into D-Day.
|by Anonymous||reply 181||November 21, 2022 6:41 PM|
I'm the autographed poster of Leather Tuscadero in the bathroom.
"To some "cool chicks" love, Suzi"
|by Anonymous||reply 182||November 21, 2022 6:56 PM|
r53 Thanks for posting that. Now THAT thread was funny. This one is painfully blah.
|by Anonymous||reply 183||November 21, 2022 8:01 PM|
Lesbian threads usually lose zest when a lesbian comes along to say 'That's not funny!'
The 2018 thread was an outlier in relatively little of that. This one had a lesbian arrive at R8 so it never stood a chance.
|by Anonymous||reply 184||November 21, 2022 8:10 PM|
Gay men don't like to criticize lesbians. There's a weird unreciprocated deference to them among some gay men and it goes to not liking to make even light-hearted kidding like on this thread.
|by Anonymous||reply 185||November 21, 2022 8:11 PM|
I'm laughing at r61s implication that the rescue dyke has Munchausen by proxy, except for a bird. I guess it's plausible.
|by Anonymous||reply 186||November 21, 2022 8:17 PM|
I'm laughing at R185 .
|by Anonymous||reply 187||November 21, 2022 8:30 PM|
R185 what? Gay men constantly criticize lesbians, it's lesbians who never go after gay men. And these threads definitely go beyond light kidding, though they are very funny
|by Anonymous||reply 188||November 21, 2022 9:03 PM|
Many of Datalounge's most homophobic posters are lesbians.
|by Anonymous||reply 189||November 21, 2022 9:12 PM|
I'm the one who has a friend who has a friend who has a friend who has a friend who knows Tabatha Coffey and I invited her to Thanksgiving dinner here with us. Tabatha never responded. We should keep a place setting at the table just in case she does show up.
|by Anonymous||reply 190||November 21, 2022 9:24 PM|
I make a toast to Rachel Maddow before dinner begins, and lament on her Monday night schedule for MSNBC. We all place bets on whether Symone will leave her husband for a woman by the end of next year.
|by Anonymous||reply 191||November 22, 2022 2:52 AM|
R188 I'm snorting at your assumption that lesbians don't make fun of gay men.
Of course they do! Why wouldn't they?
Gay men are RIDICULOUS!
|by Anonymous||reply 192||November 22, 2022 6:05 AM|
I'm Claire bringing dessert.
You'll never guess what it is!
|by Anonymous||reply 193||November 22, 2022 11:40 AM|
I'm Eve, Gail's biological 20-something daughter she had when she tried heterosexuality in her 30s. I'm here to support my mother and her friends, and to announce I'm sexually fluid. I wear the "Free Iran" tee shirt in solidarity with those women, as well as the "one love" armband. The other women look at me 'dismissively'.
|by Anonymous||reply 194||November 22, 2022 2:26 PM|
I'm the fact that, no matter what the drama, the misunderstandings and the past, the women at the table are truly glad to be together grateful for their fellowship.
Even if Mary Mack doesn't know shit about carving a turkey.
|by Anonymous||reply 195||November 22, 2022 2:31 PM|
Late for the kickoff.
|by Anonymous||reply 196||November 22, 2022 5:52 PM|
Link not working, R196.
|by Anonymous||reply 197||November 22, 2022 5:56 PM|
I’m Barb. I always get the first plate. I always get the best cut of meat. I always get the warm roll. I always get the refill of Dr. Pepper. I always start the conversation. Nobody gets up from the table until I’ve finished my first plate. I never clean the table. I never do the dishes. The tv gets turned on to my channel and my program.
I never say goodbye, the girls say goodbye to me.
|by Anonymous||reply 198||November 22, 2022 9:08 PM|
Barb better be filthy rich.....and generous.
|by Anonymous||reply 199||November 22, 2022 9:21 PM|
Who invited Barb?!!!!
|by Anonymous||reply 200||November 22, 2022 9:55 PM|
I’m Margie. I’m the Elderlez who—after her third beer—insists on playing her “K.D. Lang’s Greatest Hits” playlist through the house speakers and will play nothing else for the rest of the evening.
|by Anonymous||reply 201||November 22, 2022 9:55 PM|
I'm Kristen Stewart....
Just kidding! But I made you all look!
|by Anonymous||reply 202||November 23, 2022 4:22 AM|
I’m the Maga loon hiding in the shrubs at this big dyke party ready to get my 15 minutes of fame.
|by Anonymous||reply 203||November 23, 2022 7:21 AM|
Was Joan Crawford the Barb of her day?
|by Anonymous||reply 204||November 23, 2022 7:24 AM|
I'm James Coburn, here to research a new role
|by Anonymous||reply 205||November 23, 2022 8:43 AM|
I’m the house mittens Harold wears on all four paws when he visits. He’s not allowed near the mountain of Cole Haan and Camper shoes at the entryway. His outdoor mittens are parked over there.
|by Anonymous||reply 206||November 23, 2022 8:49 AM|
I'm the formerly straight one who one day woke up and decided she was a lesbian. I've brought along the two kids from my now-dissolved marriage. The little girl is fawned over. The little boy is banished to a table in the garage.
|by Anonymous||reply 207||November 23, 2022 8:53 AM|
I'm 10 pm when 'Big Boned Gal' by kd lang comes on. All the girls begin encouraging each other to get up and dance as they all sing along.
|by Anonymous||reply 208||November 23, 2022 9:00 AM|
I'm the OP getting suffocated by huge 500 pound Bertha from Alabama. She didn't know she sat on you.
|by Anonymous||reply 209||November 23, 2022 9:02 AM|
I'm the expelled gas after the legume heavy dinner. Don't like my smell? You'll be accused of loathing womyn's bodies.
|by Anonymous||reply 210||November 23, 2022 2:31 PM|
I'm the shigella outbreak
|by Anonymous||reply 211||November 23, 2022 2:31 PM|
I'm the hot tub they all squeeze into after dinner.
Squeeze being the operative word.
|by Anonymous||reply 212||November 23, 2022 3:07 PM|
I'm Terry, another Elderlez who is trying to gather the girls for 'midnight bowling' tonight, instead of hitting the shopping outlets for Black Friday.
|by Anonymous||reply 213||November 23, 2022 3:18 PM|
Have we achieved lesbian thread death?
|by Anonymous||reply 214||November 24, 2022 9:54 AM|
I'm the logic puzzle of seating guests: Pam can't be seated beside Deb beside Deb hasn't apologized for what she did in 2004; Kel can't be seated beside her ex Kelly or Kelly's new girlfriend, Kellie; Fran requires additional space on each side; Kim insists on being seated across from Kris who is The One (having known her for three days).
Where can Nan sit?
|by Anonymous||reply 215||November 24, 2022 10:24 AM|
I’m the inevitable “what’s THAT supposed to mean?” that will devolve the evening.
|by Anonymous||reply 216||November 24, 2022 12:41 PM|
I'm the loaded response: "[italic]You should know[/italic]"
|by Anonymous||reply 217||November 24, 2022 12:42 PM|
I’m the dream catcher on the rear view mirrors of every one at r5.
|by Anonymous||reply 218||November 24, 2022 12:43 PM|
R215 Has seen every Golden Girls episode 100 times. It has sharpened her wit and then some. She finds the tea rather moist as well.
|by Anonymous||reply 219||November 24, 2022 1:00 PM|
I’m the rescue dog eating the Turkey while the guests argue
|by Anonymous||reply 220||November 24, 2022 1:11 PM|
I’m nearly-70 years old Ida, who even though she hadn’t had an orgasm with someone in nearly 20 years, swears that she “can still do sex”. If only Cricket would respond to her flirtations.
|by Anonymous||reply 221||November 24, 2022 1:13 PM|
[quote]Where can Nan sit?
My face, of course.
|by Anonymous||reply 222||November 24, 2022 1:15 PM|
I'm the Cowboys game on the big screen.
I'm ostensibly a big part of the yearly celebration, but in reality only Rusty and Alice are watching me, parked on the couch in their Dallas jerseys, screaming at the TV.
The others ignore me, because only real, true, honest-to-God bull dykes, like Rusty and Alice, actually watch football. The rest of them are a bunch of posers who can't even install a toilet or switch out an alternator.
|by Anonymous||reply 223||November 24, 2022 1:41 PM|
I’m “this is a Friendsgiving,” which someone at some time will feel they MUST say. *sigh*
|by Anonymous||reply 224||November 24, 2022 4:43 PM|
I'm each of them vying for the opportunity to be the first to launch into a withering critique of the misogynistic colonialism of Pilgrims. Just need to wait for the right moment so it isn't so obvious I rehearsed what I was going to say beforehand.
|by Anonymous||reply 225||November 24, 2022 5:23 PM|
I’m Helen. I’ve had a little too much even at this early hour. I’m “taking a nap” (read: passed out) on the couch where I’m mumbling something-something ‘misogyny’ and something-something ‘patriarchy’ between burps.
|by Anonymous||reply 226||November 24, 2022 6:36 PM|
I'm the cornhole game being played raucously by the neighbors. All we have over here is the dog's frisbee and Trivial Pursuit.
|by Anonymous||reply 227||November 24, 2022 6:41 PM|
I'm the annual queefing contest!
Who will be crowned this year's "Queen Laqueefa"?
|by Anonymous||reply 228||November 24, 2022 6:45 PM|
I'm the one person at the table who brought a small turkey breast because I eat meat everyone else is vociferously "vegan" and the I'm the one person at the table who didn't get any.
It never made it to the table.
And the rest of the food is getting cold because there are lines at the two bathroom doors as the other guests and hosts purge the shameful meat and crispy skin from their offended gullets.
Little Eve is crying with guilt for eating a birdy.
I told the hosts an Everclear punch before dinner was a bad idea.
|by Anonymous||reply 229||November 24, 2022 6:54 PM|
I'm the hackneyed phrases in defense of pitbulls: "Not if you raise them right"; "bad owners, not bad dogs"; etc...
The guests nod along while always keeping an eye on the nearest exit wherever the brute-faced Susan B. happens to be.
|by Anonymous||reply 230||November 24, 2022 8:19 PM|
|by Anonymous||reply 231||November 24, 2022 8:24 PM|
Hearing the obligatory "Defense of the Pittys," we are the several owners of Pomeranians, Lhasa Apsos, Chihuahuas and Toy PugTeseCockapoos who are pursing their lips in a flat lipless line, the way many lesbians do to show they're holding their tongues, "BUT..."
We are joined today by Meg'-h'AnnE, who works in a Ghetto Rat Home & Sanctuary for rats injured by stray cats and especially dogs, almost all of which are pit bull mixes today.
And Meg'-h'AnnE is thinking, "... because people who have these and other potentially dangerous breeds that require special training and management are the assholes who have made the problems. And in the end it's the innocent Norway and black rats who suffer, when all they want is love.
|by Anonymous||reply 232||November 24, 2022 8:45 PM|
I'm Haley (Mary Lee's new, young, plus-one she met in September) , and at the end of the dinner I have the nerve to ask, "Who's turn is it hosting Christmas dinner this year ? "
|by Anonymous||reply 233||November 24, 2022 8:55 PM|
I'm the phone alarms going off throughout the evening reminding the fat and old group to take their meds.
|by Anonymous||reply 234||November 24, 2022 9:08 PM|
I'm the decision to get out of the patriarchal kitchen and enjoy Thanksgiving at a restaurant.
When the bill comes scientific calculators and Excel phone apps are whipped out.
|by Anonymous||reply 235||November 24, 2022 9:09 PM|
I’m the mess in the kitchen. I can wait until tomorrow or even Saturday.
|by Anonymous||reply 236||November 24, 2022 10:19 PM|
I’m Cahrwyn and I’m in charge of compost. Carol, your greens have avocado oil on them and have to go in with dairy contamination because you won’t let me use anymore bins!
|by Anonymous||reply 237||November 24, 2022 11:01 PM|
I am the ~350 days until the next iteration of this thread comes out with "fresh" content!
|by Anonymous||reply 238||November 25, 2022 5:05 AM|
I'm the mobility scooters (multiple) parked outside
|by Anonymous||reply 239||November 25, 2022 8:46 AM|
If most lez turds are vegan why are most of them so vociferously huge/obese with horrible skin.
|by Anonymous||reply 240||November 25, 2022 9:20 AM|
[quote]If most lez turds are vegan why are most of them so vociferously huge/obese with horrible skin.
This question has been asked a million times and has never been answered.
It's a mystery for the ages.
|by Anonymous||reply 241||November 25, 2022 10:09 AM|
I’m the cat hair in all the dishes.
|by Anonymous||reply 242||November 25, 2022 4:59 PM|
[quote]I’m the cat hair in all the dishes.
It complements the pussy hair in all of the teeth.
|by Anonymous||reply 243||November 25, 2022 5:12 PM|
I'm Kristen the professional cat sitter. I was late for the dinner because I had to check on half of my kitty clients whose families were out of town this weekend, and I had to leave before the pies were served because I had to go and take care of my other half of kitty clients around town - changing the litter boxes and putting the food down. I'm lucky because I missed all the pre-dinner drama and the after-dinner drama.
|by Anonymous||reply 244||November 25, 2022 6:45 PM|
So much pent up aggression in R205's pic
|by Anonymous||reply 245||November 25, 2022 9:15 PM|
R235 for the win!!!!!
Never was a joke more true.
|by Anonymous||reply 246||November 25, 2022 9:21 PM|
Why are lesbians so stingy? What is it about them?
Gay men can be more flippant with their finances- I'm thinking of all those Tasteful Friends homos.
|by Anonymous||reply 247||November 25, 2022 9:57 PM|
Women earn less money than men r247.
|by Anonymous||reply 248||November 25, 2022 10:03 PM|
Yes, perhaps but that doesn't answer my question which focusses on lesbians.
Straight women might earn less than men but they SPEND SPEND SPEND.
There's something so stingy and tight when it comes to lesbians and money.
|by Anonymous||reply 249||November 25, 2022 10:11 PM|
I’m the woe that is me. Constantly.
|by Anonymous||reply 250||November 25, 2022 10:18 PM|
I'm the collection of footware tossed in the dryer to remove the smutch and provide perfect audible cover for the smut taking place as two cheaters make the best (you ever make love on top of a dryer with twenty pairs of orthopedic shoes, boots and birkstockings shaking under your derriere?) of these holidays gatherings unbeknownst to all.
|by Anonymous||reply 251||November 25, 2022 11:22 PM|
r248 Most females are drawn to shitty majors, in turn, shitty jobs.. We could say a lot of this is related to having significantly less testosterone and so, most lack that fighting edge that motivates most men to compete. They have to rely on will, drive, other motivators. They're less likely to work overtime, to seek out promotions, and tend too stay too long in the same companies, males ar more likely to pick up and go regardless of family or hustle, hustle, hustle, and whatever it takes to continue to move forward. Most females settle for the first plateau. The biggest trouble for women is the bucket of crabs analogy. . . the crabs can escape the bucket but there's always one behind them trying to pull them back into the bucket. You can examine this through multiple media, research and studies. I'd recommend those male vs female survival competitions. They frequently overestimate their abilities because most have grown up coddled in a girl power world that still treats them with kids gloves. We all know crusty old dykes that are worth ten men but often they're stuck in the bucket too. Those that get out often repress a lot of shit, end up with more social and financial cred but end up with a lot of the risks men have from working themselves to early retirement or death.
|by Anonymous||reply 252||November 25, 2022 11:38 PM|
[quote]I'm the collection of footware tossed in the dryer to remove the smutch
|by Anonymous||reply 253||November 25, 2022 11:41 PM|
R252 women will never be happy and they’ll try their damnedest to make sure men are not happy either.
|by Anonymous||reply 254||November 25, 2022 11:45 PM|
R252 But don't lesbians have more testosterone than straight women, and by that logic should be more successful and make more money?
|by Anonymous||reply 255||November 26, 2022 12:33 AM|
If y’all are going to go completely off topic, women make less than men on average at the same job with the same education level and performing at the same level even before you see monetary losses from behavior such as taking time off to raise children.
Straight women generally have or hope to have some straight man to bail out their poor financial choices.
And lesbians on average have better math skills than straight ladies so not only are they going to tip poorly, they are going to do precisely and fairly.
Which is how demographic averages and gross generalizations result in a funny joke. Don’t try to analyze it too much. It was probably the only one worth keeping on this thread.
|by Anonymous||reply 256||November 26, 2022 12:45 AM|
[quote] I’m the woe that is me. Constantly.
I read this as “I’m the woke that is me,” which also works.
|by Anonymous||reply 257||November 26, 2022 2:55 AM|
Mostly all the lesbians I know are in well-paying jobs in the health field (nurses, doctors, PAs, NPs, medical researchers, therapists, etc) and in the financial industry. I honestly don't know one who is hurting (unlike my gay male friends).
|by Anonymous||reply 258||November 26, 2022 3:07 AM|
We're the uninhibited and highly audible post-dinner farts. We are even more uproarious than the slighter silent killers that occur while everyone's still at the table eating (or just drinking).
|by Anonymous||reply 259||November 26, 2022 4:52 AM|
I'm the hilarious bad-asses who are amazing conversationalists.
|by Anonymous||reply 260||November 26, 2022 5:29 AM|
R258 Fuck off with your lies. Most lezzies are poor and work shit jobs. That is a well known fact.
|by Anonymous||reply 261||November 26, 2022 7:39 AM|
Now that Thanksgiving is over the drama will finally begin in earnest. I will be these:
I'm the Blogspot blog that has gone untouched since 2010, but is now suddenly active again with long passive-aggressive essays that start "I don't know if anybody is even reading this, but I just have to put it down somewhere..."
I'm the dissertation-length email June finally sent to the attendees after ruminating increasingly angrily on the events of the party for 9 days.
Each time she ran over them in her head, she found more obvious proof that everyone was in the wrong but her, and she was unfairly ganged up on. The email consists of several long, aggrieved introductory paragraphs, laced with barbed sarcasm, followed by a numbered outline list. Each numbered grievance has several bulleted subsections. All the attendees are individually named, shamed, and thoroughly blamed.
None of the recipients remember any problems or unpleasantness with June at the actual party. "She seemed to be having a great time," Jak tells Mo when they discuss it on the phone. "She was smiling and laughing when she left. I don't get it."
I'm the passive-aggressive, six thousand word Wordpress blog post written by the one who claimed to have had a great time at the BBQ. I was written the second she got home and I feature nothing but barely veiled allusions to every imagined slight my authoress thinks she experienced at the party. I have a title like 'On Toxic People' and by the following day I have been read by everyone in attendance last night after Marj linked Deb's blog to Sue who sent it to Nan who sent it to Nicki and so on.
I begin with the line, 'Okay, I just need to vent about *some* people...'
|by Anonymous||reply 262||November 26, 2022 2:37 PM|
We're your hosts, Jan and Diane who have just read through every vitriolic blog post, email, and group text message each of our ungrateful guests have circulated in the past twenty-four hours. So now you're saying you don't like the pies Jan spent all night baking, even though each of you scoffed down two slices of each over coffee. Another one of you ladies didn't like the choice of wine (a gift for our tenth wedding anniversary we shared with you all), and someone else was offended by the home-made stuffing Jan made, taken from her recently deceased Mother's cookbook.
Well, screw all of you. We are never hosting a holiday meal for you bitches again. None of you are welcome in our beautiful home ever again. And don't try to invite us to anyone's gathering this Christmas - we're taking off for a quiet little weekend in Northampton, MA - where we know we'll be appreciated and accepted.
|by Anonymous||reply 263||November 26, 2022 7:10 PM|
And to lick your open wounds/gashes
|by Anonymous||reply 264||November 26, 2022 7:18 PM|
Cathy Cross and Sylvesters are both closed forever. Holidays in Northampton will never be the same R263.
|by Anonymous||reply 265||November 26, 2022 10:02 PM|
r255 re-examine developmental literature and videos
look at the biological changes at different stages of life. . .
the whole picture instead of just hormones,
though the hormonal surge in the stage of puberty does leave most males to be more competitive, quicker and longer sustaining muscle growth, and far more head into the trades or take on pragmatic majors.
Still, there's a greater number of women with graduate degrees.
while you do find many lesbian tradies as well. . . the majority follow suit with other females in white and pink collar jobs.
feminist theory has many theories about the wage gap and often tries to conflate international stats to explain western conflicts as if it's still relevant in the first world than addressing the immediate problems, even sans it's reluctancy to recognize the innate biological differences between males and females, onto the psychological and social.
It's hardly surprising that many of the most independently successful women don't consider themselves feminists.
|by Anonymous||reply 266||November 27, 2022 4:22 AM|
R266 posted by a lesbian.
How do we know?!
|by Anonymous||reply 267||November 27, 2022 12:22 PM|
R266 No one gives a fuck what you just said. Especially on a site meant for gay men only. Take your lezbo crap somewhere else.
|by Anonymous||reply 268||November 27, 2022 1:17 PM|
I’m Loretta, getting ideas with the turkey baster.
|by Anonymous||reply 269||November 27, 2022 1:23 PM|
I'm the sink full of dirty dishes, four days later. I'm gonna be here a while.
|by Anonymous||reply 270||November 27, 2022 1:37 PM|
I'm the clogged toilet(s).
|by Anonymous||reply 271||November 27, 2022 1:42 PM|
I'm the ex who claimed she was too drunk to drive home and spent the night on the couch.
I am still here four days later.
|by Anonymous||reply 272||November 27, 2022 1:47 PM|
[quote]I am still here four days later.
Corrected: I am still here four YEARS later.
|by Anonymous||reply 273||November 27, 2022 4:33 PM|
My uhaul is parked outside too.
|by Anonymous||reply 274||November 27, 2022 4:41 PM|
OMG! R272 and R273 are SO on point.
|by Anonymous||reply 275||November 27, 2022 4:45 PM|
I'm Monica. I brought the other tofurkey but I made everything from scratch unlike the one that Pam brought which was pre-made at Whole Foods with that awful, bland mushroom gravy. She didn't even season it. It tastes like a sodden glove left out in the rain! I made mine with tofu and seiten that I made with my own hands! That's why I'm wearing my carpal tunnel glove and a compression sleeve on my elbow! It took 6 hours total! I DON'T KNOW WHY I DO IT BECAUSE NO ONE GIVES A FUCK ANYWAY! THEY'LL EAT PAM'S NASTY SHIT, EVERYONE LOVES PAM, EVERYBODY WANTS TO FUCK PAM BUT THAT BITCH WON'T EVEN LOOK AT ME! Fuck it, I'm having a rum and Coke. I hope these bitches choke to death on Pam's dried up tofurkey.
IS ANYONE GOING TO EAT MY TOFURKEY?! I MADE IT FROM SCRATCH!!!
|by Anonymous||reply 276||November 27, 2022 5:42 PM|
I’m the addict Dyke who empties your medicine cabinet and wallet.
|by Anonymous||reply 277||November 27, 2022 6:00 PM|
I’m the pathological lying.
|by Anonymous||reply 278||November 27, 2022 6:00 PM|
Zooey Deschanel and untouched trust fund.
|by Anonymous||reply 279||November 27, 2022 6:11 PM|
R266 they say they aren’t feminists but they stand on the shoulders of the achievements and struggles and hard fought breakthroughs of centuries of feminists
|by Anonymous||reply 280||November 29, 2022 1:41 PM|