Lavender marriage

Yes, my downstairs neighbors. I think they have a real friendship but their emotional (and likely sexual) attractions are elsewhere. She was a highly public job. But as they age I feel she's going to bolt. He gets drunk at our HOA board meetings and says outrageous things that hint things aren't the happy picture painted on social media.

R1 Why do you think one or both of them is gay?

Of course they still exist. What are you even talking about????

Hugh Jackman and his wife?

dvf and Barry Diller

Ask Charlie Crist.

Of course, I'm still going to vote for him.

Lavender marriage?

R3 I'm talking about lavender marriages. What are you talking about?

R4 What does his wife get from marrying a gay man and having children with him?

Also, I meant more recent married couples, not old-school ones.

Yes, there are still many people who do not want to be cut-off financially from family.

[quote][R4] What does his wife get from marrying a gay man and having children with him?

Not r4, but the simple answer is that there are still people who are "in love" and operate under the impression that if they just had the change, they'd be able to change them - whether it's not wanting kids or being gay. Plenty of woman are in love with gay men, a delusion compounded in this era of "non-binary" and such which makes them think that their romantic love would be reciprocated, as well as a lot of gay men who are still self-loathing.

R9, a lot of straight men are no prizes. A woman could go into a marriage with a gay man with her eyes open, thinking, I’ll have a nice life with someone who’s less likely to belt-whip me when he’s angry.

Yes. I know of a few personally.

It's probably a lot more common in conservative cultures. Anyway, don't you know of tons of married men who hit up dudes on Grindr and the like? Those people.

I've known at least three couples I'm pretty sure were in lavender marriages. Always a butch go-getter wife and a nelly husband, never any biological kids (but one couple adopted), and religion's always involved. Along with genuine friendship, as R1 mentioned.

What’s the deal with Charlie Crist? Yeah he seems like a good candidate if he follows thru on his campaign promises. Anything is better than fat ron

[quote]Plenty of woman are in love with gay men,

Just the one, dear? She must be plenty of woman.

The Obama's have a successful lavender marriage.

I suspect that the majority of today's lavender marriages are in Asia. In many Asian cultures, everyone is expected to marry and reproduce whether they like it or not, and going lavender is a logical solution to pressure to marry.

I hope there are matchmaking agencies for this, because I'm under the impression that too many gay people in conservative cultures end up marrying straight people, and that's always problematic.

HELLO!!!!

Yes, in South Asia and the Arab world, I'm sure it is very common.

Christians do it all the time, more than you can possibly know.

I would gladly marry Leo for the right price.

Absolutely not!

Link to the first time marriage of 71 y/o General James Mattis - a few months ago - to a 61 year old entrepreneur (also her first marriage). Probably trying to squelch the gossip that's followed him his entire career.

There are several m/f married couples in my apartment bldg who strike me as having lavender marriages. Some older, some younger. The men act gayer than I do (and I’m pretty faggy) and the women either look masculine or just sexless. Most of them have kids. One of the wives told me that her husband picks out all of her clothes because he has such great taste. Uh huh.

R12 What's their arrangements? Are both parties gay or just one side? Why did they enter lavander marriages?

R13 Those are closeted gay men that cheat on their wives, not lavander relationships.

[quote]The Obama's have a successful lavender marriage.

The Obama’s what though?

Please, the Obamas are straight anyway. Have you seen Barack slapping his wife's ass? Most people are straight, I don't know why DL does this.

r11 = Vivian Vance

Would you look down on a gay friend who entered into a lavendar marriage?

I'm certain that my boss is one.

Mrs Maisel.....There is a reason she and actor hubby have no kids.

Lavender marriage (both male and female partners are gay) are still very common round the world. Some couples have children usually by insemination with the husband's jizz.

I knew a guy in this situation. Later as his son got older he changed. Both he and his wife started declaring themselves bisexual. Utter bullshit.

Would you look down on an out and notorious homosexual friend who entered into a lavendar marriage late in life? Would he be shunned in palm springs and ptown?

Asking for a friend.

My half brother is in one. It isn't uncommon in Utah.

Absolutely. No doubt. Why wouldn't they?

And especially in the conservative Evangelical Christian culture. NEVER underestimate how many of them are still hiding behind marriage and kids. Even the young ones. Google it.

The color for today is...LAVENDER!

R25, ahahaha. Love your spirit hunny.

I've known a few lavender marriage couples. A more famous one is Oprah and Stedman Graham. They are technically not married but they sure ain't straight either!!!

R35, Yes I would, sounds like a ridiculous move. What's his reasoning?

He was lonely and couldn't find a gay mate. An ex from his young bisexual days and now a divorcee, came to him with the offer.

Is this acceptable, socially and ethically, if both know each other's history?

Why would it not be, r42? People should be allowed to do what they want with their private lives in 2022.

Of course. For careers and to ease family pressure, this will always be a thing however, I don't think they are explicitly entered into as often nowadays. Most men (even openly gay ones) are not honest about their desire to suck cock and most women (especially young ones) put on blinders. They are not going to ask a BF/fiancee if he is sucking cock because it is too uncomfortable. Plus because divorces are so easily obtained nowadays, these conversations are just not being had. A divorce looks good on a closeted man's resume. It helps further the bearding.

And those asking what do women get from a lavender marriage? Some want to have children. Some want companionship. Some just want to be able to say to friends and family that they have a husband.

In most cultures men still have to ask. Women are not empowered to pursue husbands. Gay men are very socially compatible with women for many reasons. And yes, a lot of times women fall in love with guys who display all the signs of being a closeted gay [read HAGS]. You also have the woman who thinks she can change him or that it is better to be married to a gay man than no man at all.

R33 Rachel Brosnahan? Some people don't want kids. Or don't have the time for them because of their careers.

R40 I meant real couples, not the ones from delusional minds.

I think my female cousin and her husband. We were raised very religiously and back in the 70's most women were married by 22 so I think she panicked when she got into her mid 20's and wasn't married. He is so feminine, his name is Terry and people have been calling him Fairy Terry behind his back for years. They went on a trip to Florida and he bought a huge painting of two men laying together and hung it up in his home office which got all the relatives tongues wagging. They do have 3 children though but I know he has always loved children. Also Terry is a theater director.

^^^ My female cousin has a mustache, she has black hair so it probably is that her hair is so dark it shows on her upper lip and also she is chubby. I figure she feels she has nobody she needs to look good for because Terry probably isn't interested in her sexually.

I don't think she is a lesbian, my guess is she is more A-sexual. I have socialized with them many times but she is not the type to get into her intimate secrets and I don't ask.

In Scottish politics, SNP leader Nicola Sturgeon and her fat, fey “husband” Peter Murrell. Yeah doll we believe it.

James Corden and whoever the poor lass he wed.

Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban.

Anal and George Clooney.

Cindy Crawford and Randy Gerbil.

The wife will also be the subject of ridicule if the husband is openly gay.

[quote]I would gladly marry Leo for the right price.

Who wouldn't, Katherine.

Back in the 80s and beyond (yes, old) certain print personals were packed with folk seeking a MBA - mutually beneficial arrangement. That recognised formula seems long to have faded, but doubtless its need as noted above will remain.

How do these people find each other?

In decades past, when the gay/lesbian community existed underground, you can imagine people meeting and agreeing to present a certain façade.

Now that things are more open, you wouldn't get involved in the gay/lesbian community if you're still closeted because there's no longer the omertà where everyone keeps everyone else's secret.

So, how do a closeted man and a closeted woman meet and agree to marry?

I guess most of the cases being discussed here are from previous decades, as R53 alluded to. I did enjoy the post about Terry whom I'm picturing as Marcus Bachmann.

That FAGGOT with the SCRAWNY ass

Ben Affleck

Corey Booker and Mimi from RENT.

R47 Terry is on DataLounge. After he reads your comment, he will hate you forever

R50 R57 What would Cindy Crawford and Rosario Dawson gain by marrying gay men?

[quote]Would you look down on a gay friend who entered into a lavendar marriage?

[quote]Would you look down on an out and notorious homosexual friend who entered into a lavendar marriage late in life?

Only if they didn’t know how to spell lavender, in spite of all the other references in the thread to it.

Then you’ll be looked down upon.

R42, so she's a straight woman? Who wants a gay husband? Why does she need tbis arrangement?

Marriage is a civil contract. Throughout history, it was often arranged and involved a dowry or bride price.