New to Datalounge

Call Ms Warwick and she'll telepathically open them for you.

I think you have to present hole first.

[quote]Call Ms Warwick and she'll telepathically open them for you.

Bitch.

What sites? You're here, you're posting, you obviously paid...which you should... and now you're asking stupid questions. Are you looking for the Welcome reception and special orientation luncheon? We have them once a month on the 10th. The location is in your mother's basement, so if you haven'r scrubbed away the mildew, get going.

Okay, I seriously just joined. I thought it was a site to discuss theater and gay events. Yes, I'm naive regarding this site. No, I am not looking for a formal reception. I also am not familiar with the icons on the bottom. Just looking for some guidance navigating the sites. Didn't expect a barrage of sarcasm directed at me. Sincerely...

Why would anyone announce they are "New to Datalounge" ? You're just asking for it, this is a rough crowd, pet.

[quote]Are you looking for the Welcome reception and special orientation luncheon?

Since Greg's untimely demise, I believe the luncheon is now just a bag of chips and a couple of Twizzlers.

[quote]I didn’t expect the Spanish Inquisition

No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!

No worries. I've been here for 15 years and still mess up the icons. Obviously the "ww" one is for "wit and wisdom" meaning: you find the post wonderful, stimulating, funny, etc.It's similar to "liking" something, The final orange one is for blocking evil doers, trolls and Trump and his kids. The middle one I have yet to figure out.

Let's be the first day of high school and pick on the new kid!

Middle one is Flames & Freaks for posts you don't like.

[quote]Didn't expect a barrage of sarcasm directed at me.

A barrage is mild compared to what's normally the case here.

You're getting off easy.

Just sayin'

Oh sweetie! Don't listen to those dragons above. But beware, they are all over the place ~ they don't call this 'the place of pointless bitchery' for nothing.

Pretty much, what you see is what you get. Those three symbols on the side you mentioned: Blue FF has turned out to mean of you like a post just hit it. (It used to mean something else, but everyone uses it a like button). The red button is for 'flames and freaks'. If you really cannot stand what you see, hit that. Most of the time it doesn't do anything that I can see, but it may give you satisfaction. The circle with a head is to block someone. Trolls get very rude sometimes, so just tap that and their posts will go away from your feed. That is really all I use. The buttons at the top have a search feature that is nebulous, at best. Tapping on the help button may give you some more information.

However, just follow the posts and comment if you wish. You will get the hang of it in no time! Welcome to your worst nightmare!

Geeze, everyone. OP, welcome. This board is a what-you-see-is-what-you-get. There are no different pages besides this main page, but there are multiple threads you can click on and respond to (if you paid, you can post all the time, if you didn't, they usually cut non-payers off to responding to threads).

The FF button is for freaks and something or other...otherwise known as "this thread sucks for xxx reason". The last one gives you the ability to block the stupid posters' threads altogether. We tend to have a variety of trolls here that post incessantly - over and over again - even though we have tons of threads already on the same subjects. Ex: Royal British Family threads aka M. Markle threads, Janet Jackson troll - aka JanBot, Timothee Chalamet, rat-faced and overblown twink that people seem to like).

Enjoy your stay. Due to Covid and supply chain issues, we aren't offering a meal at this time (just a snack bag). Thank you for flying the DL's luxury 737 with service all over the world.

Welcome, newcomer. The topics being discussed are in boldface type. Click the title and you enter the topic. Scroll to the bottom of that page and there is a place for you to make a comment if you wish. If there's anything else you'd like to know, feel free to ask. I'll keep an eye on this topic in case I can be of further help.

Where are the sites? I WANT MY SITES!

R5, OP, this is a site to discuss those things. We discusss politics, too. And we discuss real estate, literature, art, and food. We give shopping tips and discuss legal troubles. If you have symptoms and believe you may die, people always come here for medical advice. If you are genuinely depressed, you can come here for compassionate advice and healing messages...when we aren't kicking your ass, and our holiday threads are to die for. Hilarious. You simply cannot not read through Thanksgiving and Christmas threads. We also give advice to the lovelorn and to caregivers who are attending to an elderly parent who abused them. DL is wonderful. So get over yourself and enjoy it.

Op, are you a Trannie, Troll, or Trumper? If so, you won't get out of here alive, so you better turn back now! Just fair warning.

r18 I had a friend who had PTSD and came to the DL for advice. They suggested suicide and he took it. Damn fool.

OP - we welcome posters from all around the world, so feel free to break out any regionalisms that we can giggle over or ask you about.

Also, Monkeypox and the associated vaccine is getting a lot of play on here as well.

This board is widely condemned on Twitter.

Think about that. Twitter.

Oh, sweetie! Nobody mentioned yet, but if you put a r in front of a number, you are replying to someone's post. Very helpful in long threads to figure out what people are talking about. Perhaps, others can elaborate more, as it time for my methadone treatment.

Op, check out this post, it may help you, as well.

There's a way to quote a reply too, but i just utilize the R(insert the reply # here) method.

Oh R18, quit with your stately, affluent pose.

OP, it’s Datalounge. The premier place on the internet to discuss FOLLIES!

Yes R20, and then Elle Fanning played Datalounge in the limited series.

That’s right. TWITTER thinks WE’RE a cesspool.

I just want to MATTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OP knew exactly who we were when he came here. No one mentions DL without talking about how awful we are. In fact, I'd bet OP has been skulking around reading threads for a while. He's probably Muriel's cousin. OP, we are not awful. We are just US. We are ourselves here. I love us.

[quote] There's a way to quote a reply too, but i just utilize the R(insert the reply # here) method.

Yes, R25. But, that is a secret that only Eldergays share. Or, you can check 'Help' for instructions.

It's still Prime Time so I'm sure OP has paid. Maybe he paid to troll, I dunno, but I doubt it.

OP, I'd be interested to hear what threads you were reading when you decided to subscribe. Were they recent?

yeah, i know r31. I've been coming here for years, and using the R function works fine for me.

We do recipes here too, and excellent travel tips and there was a whole thread about Pepperidge Farms coconut cake. And then people argued and the whole discussion devolved into a pissing contest, and people died. Yes. that's how awful we are!

OP is gone. He asked Muriel for a refund, he's hired a lawyer, and he has stopped posting....

Read this, which explains what the buttons do and why

Compared to Twitter, this is the safest place on the internets.

Here is the FAQ

They are truly awful over at the Mad Men and Seinfeld reddit threads - I was eviscerated for mixing up one of Don Draper's mistresses last name and forgetting another altogether! Seething pit of vipers!

However, the HilariaBaldwin thread is tons o' fun.

One very important thing to remember Op. Above all else, Eldergays are to be deferred to and respected for their vast array of knowledge and experience. They have all suffered a mundane existence, forever, and just refuse to die. However, they do have some sage advice, until their dementia sets in.

R40 considers anyone over 35 "elderly."

R9 Groomer!

Read the damn manual! It is a condition of joining!!!

I have tried to participate in discussions over on Reddit but those people are jerks. Like, dumb, or silly or immature . I have never seen such dullards.

R44 At least Reddit has active moderation, and sock-puppet accounts are rare.

And over there, if you bring racism to an unrelated thread, you get bounced. Over here, you get WW votes.

OP Are you from the north?

Well then go to fucking Reddit. I think we who participate moderate the racism and the other trolls. We ostracize them, tell them to go fuck themselves, gang up ojn them, condemn them, block them and sometimes...we send out the sicarios.

Too much moderation forecloses good discussions. I think it is also arbitrary and often based on the moderator's limited views on what is offfensive. When you get penalized for saying "I don't give a fuck." then it's just stupid. And that's how Reddit is.

Welcome. First, and most important lesson, pointless bitchery IS the point. Consider it an honor and you’ll be just fine.

[quote] OP Are you from the north?

Are you a good bitch, or a bad bitch?

R47 No you don't. There are entire threads here about TERFs, transwomen, schoolchildren in different bathrooms, the Blackness of Meghan Markle and Beyoncé, etc. And they draw dozens of dickish comments from DL users who spew ugliness and vile shit that would get them rejected from even impolite society in person. And nothing is done about that.

It's not a productive dialogue to mock the facial hair of a transwoman. It's not productive dialogue to say certain women are too fat to be raped. There's a huge goddamn difference between colorful and catty humor ("Pointless Bitchery") and just being a sick individual with hate to spew.

Some of this shit is downright dark. It's not funny, and it's not said in jest. It seems to be authentic bile.

[quote]That’s right. TWITTER thinks WE’RE a cesspool.

So does Andy Cohen.

[quote]I think we who participate moderate the racism and the other trolls. We ostracize them, tell them to go fuck themselves, gang up ojn them, condemn them, block them

That absolutely does not happen. At all. Ever. I genuinely cannot believe you even said this, it's entirely fictitious.

Oh, a human coke-straw who owes his fame to catty commentary about "Real Housewives" wine-throwing has a low opinion of us? That'll keep me up at night.

He's another fine example of someone who pretends to be clean and normal, but who owes his entire career to sucking up to some celebrities and ruthlessly mocking others.

Hold up! There was a thread about Pepperidge Farm coconut cake and I missed it? 😋😋

[quote] However, they do have some sage advice, until their dementia sets in.

We always give sage advice. We’ve been there and done that, baby. It’s just sometimes we get off, um, what the hell do you kids call it today? I mean when I was younger I worked at a drug store. No more, though.

Oh, you sold the drug store? Good for you! That’s terrific news. I hope the OP gives us another recipe.

[quote] is now just a bag of chips and a couple of Twizzlers.

[quote] (just a snack bag).

We wouldn’t have any of these leftover perchance, would we?

Thread idea: "I want to eat an entire Twizzler," by Darfur Orphan

He’d never make it.

OP - beware of anything involving Greg and prunes.

Well I hope you vicious bitches are happy. You ran him off!

Also OP, feel free to shit in R40’s mouth.

R1, not without paying first.

This thing has more dumb-ass fucked-up threads than one of Patti's "fashion statements."

Here she is in one of her more-and-more frequent unpaid spots for Life Alert. She has fallen and he is not going to get up until someone takes a picture. I think she grabbed

And a strip of rabbit skin is NOT a fur coat, Patti. Tsk.

[quote]Also OP, feel free to shit in [R40]’s mouth.

That is, if there's room after what R40's mother dumped there.

Hint: Use a large funnel and keep a plunger handy in case the "plumbing" backs up.

Remember, OP. Around here you're a cunt unless you prove otherwise.

And since you're a cunt there is no way to prove otherwise.

I’ll bet OP is a hottie and just realized he isn’t in the right place.

est...please!

ya'll too much!

Don't forget, OP: D-L doesn't go in for booze and dope.

[quote]Thread idea: "I want to eat an entire Twizzler," by Darfur Orphan

I want to be LARGER than an entire Twizzler.

OP is about as new to Datalounge as Judy Pills Garland.

R51 you sound like the police and so much fun. Fuck off with your lectures.

OP we sometimes discuss cock so buckle up you're in for a wild ride. X

Stop being mean to the new people! He has not received the Welcome Letter yet that contains the Olive Garden coupon.

It’s just that we haven’t had any new people in so long!

r68 is lost, OP. We get soused and high ALL the time around here. In fact, I'm drinking right now.

OP isn't the chatty type

r75

I like r51 a shit ton more than I like r71, who thinks he's edgy because he likes cock.

R77 Wait a tick! Nobody ever said nothin' about no cock-smoking!

I didn't know there'd be any Froot Loops around here!

R51 I like myself, I mean R71 better too

OP, did Julie tell you to come here?

OP if you are still around, it’s hard to use the search function. It’s faster and easier to google basic subjects , for instance “is Madonna still with the boy, on datalounge” or “Ron Desantis thick thighs on datalounge” Also do this before starting a new thread so you don’t contribute to an avalanche of so and so is dead to me. (If someone dies, the format is to use their name followed by “is dead to me”)

^^ Mission complete!

I'm a paid user but I can only respond to posts. Why can't I start threads?

the FAQs say you have to have a good reputation/experience to start threads, but OP is brand new and started a thread.

Don't worry, OP, it never takes longer than two years to get permission to start a thread.

There's something odd about all this. He said he was new. Yet he started a thread. He knew enough to start a thread and then complain about how to navigate the board? And he got upset right away...which is definitely Diva behavior. So IMO this poster was not "new" to DL. He is a paid member who may very well be a shit stirrer...in which case he is in the right place.

[quote]I'm a paid user but I can only respond to posts. Why can't I start threads?

For reasons that are well known to you.

OP tries, at least.

Yellow ribbon!

My husbear makes a delish home-made sour cream French Onion Dip. He wants me to eat it with veggies, but I just stick to the Ruffles with R-rr-ridges.

Give me a day's notice on the welcome social, and I'll have him make some!

Uh oh, I think OP ran into Mrs. Patsy Ramsey.

Y' know, I really hate it when some OP posts here asking for help or advice and we, graciously, accept his post as true, and sincere, and then we attempt to be helpful, supportive, and try to calm the situation with our own good humor and then the fucker doesn't even bother to stop by, let us know he's OK. Fucker.

[quote] I'm a paid user but I can only respond to posts. Why can't I start threads?

Try logging out and logging back in. That, sometimes, resets the account. If not, complain to Muriel.

[quote] He is a paid member who may very well be a shit stirrer...in which case he is in the right place.

Nope, check out his profile, he only has one posting. He was a virgin, now you all have raped him.

R92. Muriel in accounting is vacationing on Fire Island this week.

[quote]If not, complain to Muriel.

it's fake you dumbass complainers!

Op, would you say you're Forest Gump-level retarded, or Nell-level retarded?

OP You seem weak.

It’s like a deli. Take a number, wait until your authenticated name is called, then step smartly to the counter and tell the clerk your post. Then move to the side.

Boomers take the most obvious bait. No wonder you’re all being scammed day and night by telemarketers and itinerants.

Oh, how fondly I recall the thread I originated in which I said I was new and couldn’t figure something out.

R1 said, “Oh, you in danger gurl,” and I’ve been waiting for the other shoe to drop ever since.

Sweetheart, we're all a bunch of delights and kindness ...

... except for My Friend Julie.

OP, I'll just tell you this, and I say this so nicely. If you don't have a thick skin, are offended easily, are not willing to jump back into someone's face who's started shit with you, then you should rethink joining this board. But, if you can take the abuse and still go to sleep at night and forget about it you can have a great time here. Always remember one thing. It's just words on a screen. Keep the attitude that no one posting here is a real person and you'll do fine.

R100 I thought you were dead, My Millennial Fiend...

Gen X, hunty!

Hoped, surely?

You’ll be ridiculed and brought to tears regularly if you post using your name. Always go anonymous and yes you’ll get ridiculed until you catch on to DL. You will learn to love being called cunt, moron, etc.

Look. I think he thought he was going to find a thread similar to Thrillist or Broadway World or some shit that would tell him what to see and do, and instead he got us, which IMO is way much better, but if all he was looking for was that bullshit then good riddance..

Being called a cunt or a bitch or told to fuck off or told your a Russian Troll? None of that phases me. The people who do that are imbeciles. And I just block trolls and Republican defenders, and racists . I don't see why some people are so SENSITIVE. Jeeez.

OP / R5 In the words of Julia Sugarbaker - "Trust me when I tell you, you have completely misassessed the situation..."

R109 You know who else is an imbecile?

Someone who uses “phases” when he means to write “fazes.”

OP, here are a few other factoids from your Datalounge aunties:

Natalie Wood is truly dead, and her husband killed her so he could cornhole Christopher Walken in peace.

Sigourney Weaver will win an Oscar before Glenn Close.

Greek yogurt is overrated, and only exists to give John Stamos a day job.

Meghan Markle is guilty, but Timothy Hutton is innocent. Buck never would’ve mailed COVID to the in-laws.

OP Tell us, what is your favourite Mayonnaise?

You have to get a subscription through Manvox first, OP.

Motherfucker.

[quote] New to Datalounge

I condole you, OP.

[quote]R109 You know who else is an imbecile Someone who uses “phases” when he means to write “fazes.”

In addition, someone who doesn’t know the difference between your and you’re.

[quote]told your a Russian Troll?

Oh, dear!

[quote] OP Tell us, what is your favourite Mayonnaise?

It had better be Dukes OP, or you can just shut up. YOU CAN SHUT YOUR FILTHY MOUTH!!

filthy WHORE mouth!

Op, what about pasta? Rinse or not? Careful...

what do you think about the use of prunes in a main dish?

Do you know the proper spelling of "pregnant?"

Hi, I'm your new neighbor...do you have any ciggies and Quaaludes I can borrower?

Unfiltered Camels if ya got 'em...

You're a prostitution whore OP!

We asked Senator Susan Collins her thoughts about you joining DL and her response:

[Quote] I’m concerned.

We also reached out to Susan Dey but she has not yet responded.

Might you happen to be recently paroled, heavily tattooed Blatino cagemeat, OP?

Asking for a friend who's always looking to moisten her mussy.

Op is gone. Y'all scared her away, bitches!

OP stinks.

Oh, darn it!

Op, I thought you were serious about your desire to learn the art of Datalounge.

There goes, Op!