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Can a man still be masculine if he has a fem/obvious voice?

Even if a man has a butch appearance, can he still be masculine if his voice is fem/obvious?

Just curious to hear different opinions on this...

by Anonymousreply 116July 5, 2022 12:14 AM

Of course not.

by Anonymousreply 1June 14, 2022 4:25 AM


by Anonymousreply 2June 14, 2022 4:30 AM

I think masculinity is all about effortless confidence. A man can very butch and wear the most backwards baseball cap in the world but if he frets about his masculinity then he's not masculine, imo. The reverse is true too.

by Anonymousreply 3June 14, 2022 4:36 AM

Of courth! Don’t be thilly!

by Anonymousreply 4June 14, 2022 4:41 AM


by Anonymousreply 5June 14, 2022 8:13 AM

R4, which Josh Lucas?

by Anonymousreply 6June 14, 2022 8:42 AM

Ask Lindsey Graham

by Anonymousreply 7June 14, 2022 8:43 AM


by Anonymousreply 8June 14, 2022 8:44 AM

Not if he has hit butt in the air

by Anonymousreply 9June 14, 2022 8:52 AM


by Anonymousreply 10June 14, 2022 8:53 AM

R3 Many femme gays are very confident but that doesn't make them masculine.

by Anonymousreply 11June 14, 2022 8:54 AM

Yes, very well

by Anonymousreply 12June 14, 2022 12:11 PM

Interesting question

by Anonymousreply 13June 14, 2022 11:16 PM

Surprised there are not more responses

by Anonymousreply 14June 15, 2022 12:52 AM


by Anonymousreply 15June 15, 2022 9:45 AM

Why do you ask?

by Anonymousreply 16June 15, 2022 9:56 AM

Tattoos and a girly voice are the very two things that make David Beckham so unappealing.

by Anonymousreply 17June 15, 2022 9:58 AM

Possible, but is there a single example? William F. Buckley?

by Anonymousreply 18June 15, 2022 10:44 AM

Fuck no.

by Anonymousreply 19June 15, 2022 11:42 AM

They can try! 🤣

by Anonymousreply 20June 15, 2022 11:44 AM

The GAY accent is the MAIN thing that prevents a gay guy from being masculine.

by Anonymousreply 21June 15, 2022 12:17 PM

R21, I totally agree!

by Anonymousreply 22June 15, 2022 11:18 PM


by Anonymousreply 23June 16, 2022 2:56 AM


by Anonymousreply 24June 16, 2022 5:29 AM


by Anonymousreply 25June 16, 2022 7:37 AM

Does he have a masculine body?

by Anonymousreply 26June 16, 2022 9:55 AM

No, the voice can ruin everything.

by Anonymousreply 27June 16, 2022 10:04 AM

So can the body

by Anonymousreply 28June 16, 2022 10:12 AM

How can a man look masculine but when he opens his mouth dicks fall out. There is a contradiction of perception.

by Anonymousreply 29June 16, 2022 10:14 AM

I don't have a feminine "accent", but I've had surgery on my vocal cords five times since I was 7, and it's left me with a higher than "guy" voice, I sound like I'm hitting puberty, and I get called Mrs. on the phone a lot., which is not good for the self-esteem.

by Anonymousreply 30June 16, 2022 2:13 PM


by Anonymousreply 31June 16, 2022 7:24 PM


by Anonymousreply 32June 16, 2022 10:39 PM

No. He cannot.

by Anonymousreply 33June 16, 2022 11:14 PM

I knew a guy at work once, I would call him a Muscle Queen....like Bodybuilder huge...HUGE. And he had the most absolute femme girly voice...like it sounded like he had swallowed helium every time he spoke. Bottom line , no.

by Anonymousreply 34June 16, 2022 11:22 PM
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by Anonymousreply 35June 16, 2022 11:35 PM
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by Anonymousreply 36June 16, 2022 11:35 PM

R30 is this guy

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by Anonymousreply 37June 16, 2022 11:43 PM

Or nasally with a slight lisp. Turn off.

by Anonymousreply 38June 17, 2022 12:20 AM

How dare you, Sir!

You are not fit to be received in the homes of Good Christian heterosexualist!

And I for one would not sit in my parlour with my ankles discreetly crossed - as one does when entertaining callers - with a vulgarian like you!

by Anonymousreply 39June 17, 2022 12:54 AM

OP, may I introduce you to my wife Demi-Leigh Tebow.

And before you ask, "Yes, I did design her dress and I even stitched it up on my Singer - Demi-Leigh has a few figure flaws that are hard to disguise with 'off-the rack' frocks...and I just do so enjoy making women more beautiful."

"Why yes, I chose all her accessories myself too - you are too kind, Sir!"

by Anonymousreply 40June 17, 2022 12:59 AM

Chris Steele

by Anonymousreply 41June 17, 2022 1:13 AM

R41, who is Chris Steele?

by Anonymousreply 42June 17, 2022 3:07 AM

Rock Hudson is a good example of that.

by Anonymousreply 43June 17, 2022 6:19 AM

"Can a man still be masculine if he has a fem/obvious voice?"

I find the word "obvious" interesting in this context.

You know what's sad? Although I think I generally sound "gay as blazes" in a Harvey Fierstein kind of way, when I have a cold I sound like Darth Vader minus the scuba noises.

So I went to the store one day with a cold (pre-pandemic) and the cashier who had definite gay voice, asked me if I wanted paper or plastic.

I answered in my Darth Vader voice.

Suddenly he lowers his voice and seems to get very defensive as if my voice was some sort of rebuke.

That's internalized homophobia. Kind of like this entire thread, which was probably started by this creep:

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 44June 17, 2022 7:16 AM

I have a very medium voice. Not high, not low. But my voice is almost identical to my mom’s. I get ma’am on the phone all the time, she got sir.

But I have a strange attraction to big muscle-bound Mary’s with the gayest voices. If they’re real, and not an affectation, the girly expressive voice and excessive use of gay slang coming out of a big he-man’s mouth is something I find adorable.

by Anonymousreply 45June 17, 2022 7:27 AM

"no this is dan!"

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by Anonymousreply 46June 17, 2022 3:40 PM


by Anonymousreply 47June 17, 2022 8:07 PM


by Anonymousreply 48June 18, 2022 3:26 AM


by Anonymousreply 49June 19, 2022 8:09 AM


by Anonymousreply 50June 19, 2022 11:53 PM


by Anonymousreply 51June 20, 2022 6:20 AM


by Anonymousreply 52June 20, 2022 7:27 PM
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by Anonymousreply 53June 20, 2022 7:39 PM

If he "Looks Like Tarzan and Sounds Like Jane," No. Despite all the kids Bobby Kennedy created, he sounded like a Nelly Queen.

by Anonymousreply 54June 20, 2022 8:01 PM

Only if he is willing to slap a ho for you.

by Anonymousreply 55June 20, 2022 8:02 PM

Chris Steele has a really low voice, doesn't he? If not, then he's an example of a guy who can still be masculine without one.

by Anonymousreply 56June 20, 2022 10:27 PM


by Anonymousreply 57June 20, 2022 10:29 PM

[quote]Chris Steele has a really low voice, doesn't he? If not, then he's an example of a guy who can still be masculine without one.

Like many gay porn stars, he has a fake-masc voice that he uses on camera but is full sausage-curls nelly IRL.

by Anonymousreply 58June 20, 2022 10:45 PM

No, voice is critical

by Anonymousreply 59June 21, 2022 10:33 AM

No. I don't think so.

by Anonymousreply 60June 21, 2022 11:45 AM

I don't think so but then to me the American accent often sounds gay anyway.

by Anonymousreply 61June 21, 2022 12:25 PM

Yes, and the replies are extremely predictable from the homophobic self-loathers most of you are, not to mention the homophobic straight people that have the narcissistic audacity to comment here. If most of you are going to keep putting straight men on a pedestal as being the pinnacle of masculinity, not only are you extremely unintelligent and self-loathing, but you will never have happiness in your lives and will get karma for denigrating other gay men who don't have a stereotypical voice like a werewolf.

by Anonymousreply 62June 21, 2022 12:32 PM

There is also a lot of straight men who forcefully try and lower their voices, which does significant damage to their voice over time.

by Anonymousreply 63June 21, 2022 12:38 PM

Oh yeah

by Anonymousreply 64June 21, 2022 10:33 PM

There is nothing sexier than a man with deep rich voice. I am straight woman so I like my men to sound like a real man.

by Anonymousreply 65June 22, 2022 12:26 AM

Colton Haynes

by Anonymousreply 66June 22, 2022 3:02 AM

I don’t give a flying fuck- what is wrong with some of you- your question OP is loaded with homophobic subtext.

by Anonymousreply 67June 22, 2022 4:10 AM

Can he fix stuff, throw a mean fuck, and need to be the outside spoon?

by Anonymousreply 68June 22, 2022 4:39 AM

Honestly vocal fry , which is practised plenty by straight men is 1000 times more annoying than "gay speak". Also, as an actual straight woman, R65 seems to be a troll more than anything, so pay it no matter.

by Anonymousreply 69June 22, 2022 2:43 PM

R69 even more annoying than vocal fry is upspeak. Especially if spoken by a man, gay or straight

by Anonymousreply 70June 22, 2022 2:51 PM

Agree R70

by Anonymousreply 71June 22, 2022 2:53 PM

I find gay voice so unappealing and unattractive. To answer OP’s question, no. A man who has an effeminate voice cannot be and is not masculine.

Gay voice is like nails on chalkboard and any guy I’m attracted to based on looks who turns out to have gay voice is no longer hot to me.

It is especially jarring because I tend to avoid gay bars/gay spaces, so in the rare instance I hear a group of effeminate gays talking in public, it just sounds so over-the-top. I mean do you really have to broadcast your sexuality in such an obvious and obnoxious way?

I don’t think many gay men with gay voice are even aware of how they sound. Gay voice is learned behavior, that many gay guys emulate from other gay guys. It’s not natural and it’s not attractive, and most people won’t say anything, but I know it makes many people uncomfortable (especially most straight men).

I know I’ll be roasted for my comments but I don’t care.

by Anonymousreply 72June 22, 2022 4:01 PM

R72 it's not learned -- maybe flamboyant speak is, but not your common or garden effeminate voice.

by Anonymousreply 73June 22, 2022 4:07 PM

R72- Like that ANNOYING character Elijah on GIRLS- he was super QUEENY and super BITCHY

by Anonymousreply 74June 22, 2022 4:49 PM

It is learned, R73.

It’s one thing to have a slightly effeminate voice, but the flamboyant, attention-seeking way many gay effeminate American men speak is unique to them, and the accent seems to have really taken hold over the past 25 years from what I gather.

by Anonymousreply 75June 22, 2022 4:55 PM

R75 I agree with you. I guess it just depends on how you define 'slightly effeminate' vs 'flamboyant', although I think we all know that the latter means.

by Anonymousreply 76June 22, 2022 4:56 PM

Is Richard Simmons merely effeminate or is he a SCREAMING QUEEN?

by Anonymousreply 77June 22, 2022 4:58 PM

Also one thing about gay voice that I seldom hear discussed is the negative implications it has for employment or job prospects.

Certainly this is changing, and many companies (especially tech) firms will hire an effeminate, obviously gay men for client-facing facing, or executive-level roles, but many companies, especially in conservative parts of the country, will not.

by Anonymousreply 78June 22, 2022 4:59 PM

Simmons is a queen.

But I think many gay guys are also very queeny. If a random stranger hears you speak and can deduce your sexual orientation (gay) within two seconds, you’re a queen. Many, many gay men are obvious to random strangers.

The more reserved gay men, who have some effeminate qualities, but aren’t so flaming, but still may be identified as gay after some interaction are a different species from the queens.

And then you have other gay men who aren’t at all obvious, although they seem to be much more rare.

by Anonymousreply 79June 22, 2022 5:04 PM

You answered your own question. He can certainly LOOK masculine, but overall masculinity will dissipate once he starts talking.

by Anonymousreply 80June 22, 2022 5:07 PM

R79 where do I fit in your schema of things, R79?

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by Anonymousreply 81June 22, 2022 5:19 PM

R61, the AMERICAN accent sounds gay? Uhhh, as opposed to what? A British accent? Lmao. Literally the first time I have ever heard this…

by Anonymousreply 82June 23, 2022 4:22 AM

There's a guy I'm in lust with who is gorgeous/manly, but has a high, nasally fem voice and he talks fast, too. Just an awful voice. And he likes to talk a lot.

It's what brings him down to an 8. It's that bad that I have to take off two points.

by Anonymousreply 83June 23, 2022 6:35 AM

All language, pronunciation, accent, etc. is all learned.

Do babies come out of the womb talking?


It's all learned.

I'm the one who told the story about the grocery store clerk altering his voice after hearing me with a cold.

by Anonymousreply 84June 23, 2022 8:20 AM

I dated a guy once who was very well-built/roided up, he had Greek heritage so was dark/swarthy looking and basically just looked like he could fuck you up - but he was pretty soft spoken, I wouldn't say feminine as such but definitely not the deep, gruff voice that you might expect from looking at him. I don't think it made him any less masculine, it's about the whole package and how someone holds themselves, one aspect that isn't 'stereotypically masc' doesn't bring down the whole impression IMO.

by Anonymousreply 85June 23, 2022 9:18 AM

I remember getting to know a guy online, he was really hot, with a rugged, masculine, “tough” kinda look. When we eventually met in person the moment he opened his mouth it killed the attraction for me: imagine this high pitched, ultra queeny “Oooohhhh myyyy GOOOoooooodddDdd!! HhHHHIIIIIYYYAAAAAAA!!!”

by Anonymousreply 86June 23, 2022 9:21 AM

That’s why I talk to dudes on phones for a while before meeting

by Anonymousreply 87June 23, 2022 11:01 AM


by Anonymousreply 88June 24, 2022 8:08 AM

You can look like the biggest, strong, lean man but if you open your mouth and your purse drops out, you're gay. Your masculinity score just dropped from 9 to 3.

by Anonymousreply 89June 24, 2022 8:20 AM

You know, I have been wondering about this for a while with regard to the news media. You can be gay, but not sound gay until recently. First time I saw Philip Rucker on MSNBC I had to do a double take. He sounds really gay but he knows his shit. At first I thought oh, he wont last, people will make fun of him but to his credit or their credit, he's on there all the time with no problems. I mean granted he still tries to speak professionally so no Yass Queen or other gay slang. I think Vaughn Hillyard also sounds gay. But he's more of a reporter on the street.

by Anonymousreply 90June 24, 2022 8:26 AM


by Anonymousreply 91June 25, 2022 12:43 AM

Voice is important, but so is what you talk about. You can have a masculine voice, but the content of your conversation is effeminate, or stereotypically gay, people will view you as effeminate

by Anonymousreply 92June 25, 2022 1:09 AM

R90, you think it's a detriment for Phil to have that voice? If anything, I'm sure it opens more doors to sources with all of those closet case Republicans in DC.

He was also a figure skater as a kid.

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by Anonymousreply 93June 25, 2022 1:35 AM

What about st8 men with gay voice like john ritter and ryan Reynolds?

by Anonymousreply 94June 25, 2022 1:49 AM

R94- Ryan Reynolds is as straight as Richard Simmons.

I always thought that John Ritter had a quite effeminate voice. I'm not sure about him but I do find it hard to believe he was totally heterosexual.

by Anonymousreply 95June 25, 2022 1:58 AM


by Anonymousreply 96June 25, 2022 3:58 AM


by Anonymousreply 97June 25, 2022 6:37 PM


by Anonymousreply 98June 25, 2022 10:28 PM


by Anonymousreply 99June 26, 2022 2:40 AM


by Anonymousreply 100June 26, 2022 4:40 AM


by Anonymousreply 101June 26, 2022 2:15 PM


by Anonymousreply 102June 26, 2022 8:10 PM


by Anonymousreply 103June 27, 2022 12:26 AM


by Anonymousreply 104June 28, 2022 6:37 PM

Looks Like Tarzan. Sounds Like Jane.

by Anonymousreply 105June 28, 2022 6:58 PM

R105- The proper phrase is

See Tarzan Hear Jane

by Anonymousreply 106June 28, 2022 8:14 PM


by Anonymousreply 107June 29, 2022 9:59 PM


by Anonymousreply 108July 1, 2022 11:55 PM

R2 yenno the footballer who came to mind first for me was John Terry. More of a masc demeanour & body but softer voice and mannerisms than DIE-vid.

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by Anonymousreply 109July 2, 2022 12:04 AM

other side of the spectrum--skinny men with narrow shoulders and feminine facial/physical features but the deepest most Alpha voices and tough aggressive personalities...

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by Anonymousreply 110July 2, 2022 12:09 AM

Can a man still be masculine if he's pregnant?

by Anonymousreply 111July 2, 2022 12:12 AM


by Anonymousreply 112July 2, 2022 6:29 PM


by Anonymousreply 113July 3, 2022 10:46 PM

Colton Underwood

by Anonymousreply 114July 4, 2022 6:12 AM


by Anonymousreply 115July 4, 2022 11:59 PM

It depends on my mood, but sometimes I find it really hot when a good-looking man has a femmy voice. Just depends on what I'm horny for in the moment.

by Anonymousreply 116July 5, 2022 12:14 AM
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