I want to be underwhelmed—Feel the Heat—Summer 2022

Past underwhelms.

the heat makes muh cooter itch somethin fierce

Mosquitoes hover

Sweat glistening on taut skin

Gun smoke in the air

I don't see how I'm gonna make it through the summah.

The heat makes me wander into the backyard and curl my toes into the grass and turn on the garden hose until the water runs icy cold onto my bare feet. Ahhh …. Maybe I’ll be near a swimming pool next year ….

I'm out of Mr. Clean Magic Eraser sheets and running low on Dawn and Lysol Wipes. I'll have to make a Target run. Last time I had them bring my order out to the car but I think I'll actually go inside this time.

Sweat glistens on my taint

I want fast food that isn’t healthy and it’s just as fast walking twelve blocks as waiting for a bus.

However, there’s a Seattle stuttering rain and I’m in sweatpants. We don’t do umbrellas. Greasy chicken smeared across my face ….

It looks like I'll be getting two new cats next week. I'm not whelmed, but I'm happy. 😊

^yay!

I made a carrot cake in a blender. It was surprisingly good and incredibly easy.

Full recipe is at emmafontanella.com

I love carrot cake.

I recently visited St Augustine, FL and stopped into a bar for a drink after walking around for a few hours.

It looks like my crotch n ass are fresh for June.

I wanted *this* new link to be called, "I Want to be Underwhelmed - Smell the Cookies..." Mildly overwhelmed, but at least I can post on this thread for a while, until Muriel works her accustomed magic.

My French Bulldog rolled around in the grass yesterday. Later that same day, a flea jumped off of her onto my arm. She has taken her flea medication, now I’m wondering if it’s something I need.

I watched My Octopus Teacher on Netflix (even though everyone else apparently discovered it back in 2020) and cried an embarrassing amount at the end.

I had a burrito and cheap glass of wine on Monday and it was so good I can’t stop thinking about it. I may have another tomorrow night.

I gave my Boston Terrier a bath and when we were outside he rolled in some deer shit.

It was a whelming day. Thank goodness we have dogs rolling in shit.

I’m going off weed for the month to clear my head.

You all stink.

I vacuumed.

-The End

Why the tears for the octopus, R17? Sushi?

I received a text from my dental office reminding me of an upcoming appointment for August.

I sprayed roundup on the weeds around my drive way and now I’m indoors listening to my France Joli playlist with my Boston Terrier and miniature Dachshund.

I’m next in line at the barbershop. After, I’m going on a small grocery store run.

I bought a yellow calla lily for my garden.

R24 I'm not that person but the octopus is a lovely, intelligent, social creature. Smarter than dogs, possibly smarter than some apes. I like watching videos about them on YouTube.

I transplanted some potted plants into larger pots on the patio then went inside and took a nap.

I want a window box so I can torture bulbs.

[quote]the octopus is a lovely, intelligent, social creature

R29 When I was a kid, I confused the word tentacles with testicles. Your post made me giggle at the memory.

Honda had a recall on the starter switch for my 2014 Fit and replaced it at no cost.

Why do you like Mr. Clean Magic Eraser sheets, r6. I couldn't stand all the soap they kick out. How do you rinse with them or do you just use them to wash dishes?

R24, I have never eaten sushi, and after that documentary I'm glad I haven't.

There was a creepy insect crawling out of my sink. I used the sprayed to wash it into the drain and then turned on the waste disposal. I feel bad.

I'm bored! I hope the weather stays nice so that I can go out for a walk later this afternoon. Maybe I need some sun rays and exercise to improve my mood.

Went to the dermatologist for a skin cancer check this morning. Results were thankfully underwhelming. Then I went to Target and bought only two things.

Were they two underwhelming things?

Going to Target and buying only 2 things is underwhelming no matter what the 2 things were.

Just washed my mask off. Got a zit on my chin area.

Benzoyl peroxide will kill it. Just wear sunscreen while you use it.

Yes, r39. I purchased A) ketchup with no added sugar and B) lubricant rewetting eye drops. I had wanted to also purchase C) natural peanut butter, but they were out of the kind I like. This, of course, left me feeling underwhelmed.

I bought a lawnmower a couple of weeks ago in a momentary burst of energy but then decided to keep paying someone else to do it. I had to schlep the thing back to Lowes. I had opened the box, so there was some risk of their refusing to take it back, but they did. Then I bought some plants.

I like how you think r44!

Matt Carpenter is HOT HOT HOT on the Yankees line up. Sporting the stache with a mash!,

I played “Fuck, Marry, Kill” on my evening bus commute: two random fucks, one father for my ass babies, and eight homicides.

I'm dog sitting for my brother this weekend. Not much of a pet person.

Just curious, R47, are there any real rules to that game, or do you just assign everyone to 3 categories? I've never heard of this game before. It sounds like fun.

I don’t think “kill” should be applied to people just based on looks. Well, in extreme cases, perhaps.

I was just going to plant some marigolds and I find myself having to dig out a huge rock. Grrr.

It’s a beautiful early summer day. I’m sitting here with my legs spread wide open.

Rock is out, but it was so big I gotta go get some top soil to fill in the hole.

I just watered my potted patio plants with the rain water that I collect.

Plants like rainwater better than chlorinated water I have found.

I put a 7-gallon bucket at the edge of the eaves and can fill it up, easily, with the runoff from a fairly brief shower. Usually lasts a week or more, and I use it to refill a birdbath too.

Two years ago I grew some Bhut Jalokia chili peppers and dehydrated them completely, then finely pulverized them, and lastly put the chili dust in a repurposed spice jar with a shaker top.

When using them, I just have to **show** the food or dish I am preparing the spice jar and somehow the heat travels through the air. Powerful stuff!

It's grey out. I'm doing laundry and paying bills and balancing my accounts.

I got stung by a weed!

[quote]Plants like rainwater better than chlorinated water I have found.

Fun fact, r54: chlorine dissipates from tap water after sitting out for 24 hours.

Urban myth or scientific fact, r59?

[quote]Urban myth or scientific fact, [R59]?

Fact. Have I ever steered you wrong, r60?

Your nose knows.

I add peanut butter to the pan when I stir fry vegetables. Chunky, of course.

Excellent, r61. Thanks.

A couple of weeks ago I had left over cooked ground beef from tacos I made and I unwisely froze it in a re-purposed Locatelli grated Romano cheese plastic container.

Last night when I retrieved this ground beef from the freezer all the ground beef crumbles splattered all over the freezer as I lifted the container. The bottom of the container had disintegrated.

Note to Self: Do not use plastic containers for purposes they are not intended.

R65, I get it. I have a bad habit of putting wine, champagne, or prosecco in the freezer to quick chill it.

One day, I put a bottle of prosecco in the freezer and completely forgot about it. Around 3 am I hear this strange sound. I go into the kitchen and suddenly remember the prosecco! The bottle had burst into about 6 big pieces. It was easy to get the glass out but the prosecco was a slushy mess. If I decide to quick-freeze any alcohol, I set the timer on my iPhone.

P. S. I've also frozen a beer; a Coronita that, once it got closer to room temperature, was absolutely delicious!

I’ve got tits from taking prednisone for 8 months.

[quote]I’ve got tits from taking prednisone for 8 months.

Pics please.

I'm having a sofa and chair and a half delivered this afternoon between 2:30 and 6:30 pm. I also have Got Junk coming between 11:30 am and 1:30 pm to remove my old sofa and lounge chair. Cosmo will NOT be happy with me today!

Well, the Got Junk guys just left. They were both well over 6' tall. They both had to duck going in and out of my condo. I tipped them $20 in total and told them lunch was on me. I'm now sitting on the floor on a pillow. I'm glad the weather cleared up this morning. I wasn't looking forward to having the new furniture delivered in the rain.

Unfortunately, I can now see the discoloration in my carpet.

Carpet? Oh my.

Were either one fuckable, R70?

The last time I had movers it would have been hot but they sounded like they were giving birth moving stuff upstairs. Men giving birth grunts and wails = not that hot. As one might expect.

I just finished reading the last few posts. I'm never moving or having furniture delivered. I will live in squalor forever.

I had a very loud cricket in my house all day and night. I couldn't find him. I finally dug everything out of a box and found him at the bottom. I killed that sucker! Mission accomplished.

Are we expected to be underwhelmed by your bloodlust r75?

R72, absolutely! Both very handsome and one was a bit flirty. I'm only 5'2". When I mentioned how tall they both were one, I said it wasn't fair that I'm so short. The cuter one then said, 'No! No! You're just the right height." Anyway, they left around 12:30 pm. The furniture delivery guys arrived around 4 pm. Neither of them was fuckable.

R71, yes I have wall to wall carpeting in my condo. I'm on the second floor so it's quieter for my downstairs neighbors plus I like to walk around bare foot as much as possible. I also like being able to vacuum the whole house in less that 30 minutes. I've thought about hard wood floors but Cos likes to run through the house. I can't imagine him trying to run around on a hardwood floor. When he runs through the kitchen, he looks like a cartoon character. Feet are moving but he can't get traction. It's hysterical!

I was able to get my afternoon walk in which was nice. It was gorgeous outside yesterday, With crappy weather forecast for the weekend, I will go for another walk today.

Happy Friday everyone!

I had minor surgery this morning for an arthritic toe. Went well. Is it wrong that I enjoy anesthesia so much? It’s such a wonderful deep nap. Now I’m laid up comfortably at home, about to watch “45 years,” a movie starring Charlotte Rampling. My partner just brought me a lovely turkey sandwich. Is there anything more delicious than a sandwich someone else has made for you? I think not.

I had a tangerine popsicle today.

There's a small garter snake living in my garage and not paying me rent.

My percolator arrives tomorrow. Mr Coffee takes a half hour to brew, so I’m going old school. No paper filters!

I can't like any posts about snaaakes. Whelming!!

[quote]My percolator arrives tomorrow. Mr Coffee takes a half hour to brew, so I’m going old school. No paper filters!

I LOVE my percolator r81! Makes rich, HOT coffee. I have a small percolator for me and a large one I use for company. I do use filters. I buy the Melitta disc filters for percolators on amazon in bulk.

I brushed out my long-haired cat and snipped two matts on her belly. Then I ate some hummus with carrots and radishes.

A bus just passed by that said "Be a top"

R84

Then I ate some humans with carrots and radishes.

My boyfriend and I went to dinner very early. Too early. Afterward we went back to his place and did the usual-sex, cuddle, talk. I’m talking about a documentary and I pause, and he says “Texaco station?” He’s falling asleep and says random things like this all the time when he’s drifting off. So I get dressed, kiss him on the forehead, and quietly slip out of his apartment. I do this all the time, it’s no big deal.

But it’s midnight, I’m wide awake, and I’m starving, so I head to a drive through. The lights at the drive through are so bright the entire inside of my car is lit up like Christmas and I get a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Hair is crazy (usually is) but the side is sticking out in all sorts of funky directions and I try to comb it with my fingers and it won’t lay flat.

Dude CAME in my hair.

And I’m at a drive through looking like a fifty cent hooker at midnight in the not so nice part of town.

I get home, wait quietly at the back door for a neighbor to go into her apartment because she’s exactly the kInd of girl that would loudly say “OH MY GOD, DID SOMEONE SPLOOGE IN YOUR HAIR? THAT IS HI-LARIOUS!!’” She steps inside, I sneak into my apartment and pull the hamburger, fries, and ketchup out of the bag onto the coffee table and run into the kitchen to get a water. As I come out of the kitchen, my cat is holding the hamburger by the corner of the wrapper, makes eye contact with me and then just as quickly disappears behind the sofa.

So it’s after midnight, I have jizz hair, and my cat stole my only hamburger and I’m not about to move the sofa to fight her for it.

You should all be grateful I didn’t start a thread to post this.

100% true story.

It’s “spooge.”

Are you Fabio? How did you not know there was cum in your hair, whore?

[quote]It’s “spooge.”

I’ve never heard “spooge”. Splooge is a an accepted term.

[quote]Are you Fabio? How did you not know there was cum in your hair, whore?

Because I thought it was all in my MOUTH. What does Fabio have to do with this?

Fabio has or had long hair so might not feel/notice spooge overflow as it occurs or immediately after. FWIW I have also seen spoog along with sploog. But my preference is spooge!

Well. I have fairly short hair and still didn’t notice. And I’m not mad about it.

I’m mad about the hamburger.

You’re doung it right if you feel like a used tissue.

While Guilt is a wonderful motivator, you simply must tell your neighbor you support her abortion healthcare. Every time you see her, let her know you’re a cunt’s ally in vaginal selfcare

Is your hamburgler farting now r92? She will dutch oven you in your sleep for sure.

[quote]The last time I had movers it would have been hot but they sounded like they were giving birth moving stuff upstairs. Men giving birth grunts and wails = not that hot. As one might expect.

I hired movers in DC for a 4 story walk up that were all deaf students from Gallaudet University. They were all hot as fuck and very fast. They were also very quiet, until one got his hand pinned agains the wall in the stairwell, and then it sounded like someone was killing a puppy in the hallway. We asked the foreman (the only one who could read lips) if the guy needed to go to the hospital and he said “nah, he’s fine”. 😳

Didn’t sound fine.

She’s locked out of the bedroom for the night, r94. She’s going to puke it up later and it’s not going to be on me. I’ve already been violated once by stray bodily fluids this evening. There won’t be a second time.

French fries and dick isn’t a terrible Saturday night.

Did you search his pockets while his pants were ankle level?

[quote]Did you search his pockets while his pants were ankle level?

To be clear, this was my BOYFRIEND, not some trick I picked up on the street and let come in my hair. I can just search his pants pockets when he’s in the shower if I want to.

If I do decide to blow some rando off the street, then yes, I’ll search his pockets while he’s distracted.

There's quite a bit of whelm creeping into this "underwhelmed" thread.

R98, did you put anything in the pockets such as a linty mint, a sliver of raw carrot, or a Canadian quarter?

R100, no, but I’m intrigued by the question. Why would I do that? Just so he’d ask “did you put a carrot in my pocket?”

I could probably get away with a mint or a Canadian quarter, but he’d definitely know it was me if I slipped a carrot in.

This has gotten very whelming.

I’m sorry r102. I got us off track. Let me fix things.

Before he came in my hair, we shared a fro-yo.

Ben & Jerry's was BOGO at the supermarket yesterday.

I wanted Strawberry Cheesecake and Mint Chocolate Cookie but they were out of the Mint Chocolate Cookie so I got two Strawberry Cheesecake.

C'est la vie.

Mint chocolate cookie sounds so good. I have a new favorite Haagen Dazs flavor: caramel cone, omg it's ambrosia.

Love Caramel Cone. Haagen Dazs is BOGO next week....

My yard used to be dominated by a group of squirrels. They vanished and now it’s bunnies and chipmunks.

[quote]My yard used to be dominated by a group of squirrels. They vanished and now it’s bunnies and chipmunks.

Yard gentrification.

SPOON!!!!!

It means CUM!

I got Haagen Daaz BOGO last weekend. Swiss almond vanilla and French vanilla. No chocolate varieties of any kind! Just some raspberry or these vanillas. Underwhelming selection. Altho now I am pondering what is the difference btwn Swiss and French vanilla. Will have to google.

French vanilla is traditionally made with egg yolks, R110. I have no idea what makes Swiss vanilla different from regular vanilla.

Does Swiss vanilla have holes in it?

It’s not the vanilla that’s Swiss; it’s the almonds. They are coated in chocolate.

Yeah, "Swiss" is describing the almonds, not the vanilla. Swiss almond vanilla is my go-to Haagen Dazs flavor. I don't know what makes the almonds "Swiss," though. It's just pieces of almond covered in dark chocolate.

The chocolate makes them Swiss.

That makes sense, R115.

BOGO? Buy one, of course you get one 😂

My stomach was feeling upset.

I had some Celestial Seasonings Peppermint Tea and now I feel better.

R118, MARY!

On the advice of an idiot, not an MD, I took 1,000 mg of Niacin (vitamin B3). If you’ve never done this, google “niacin flush”. Within 15 minutes I turned beet red, my skin is burning and tingling and I feel like I should probably go to the ER. But google says it’s normal and will pass in 1-2 hours.

You're betting your life on Google, R120?

I was prescribed B3 because it lowers the risk of skin cancer for those with a history of basal cell carcinomas. There is a form that can be taken in high doses without causing flush. It’s called niacinamide. There are also products sold as “no-flush “ niacin.

My cat is wet-nosing me. I hate that.

I’m over here finger fucking my own ass!

I will not ask to borrow your keyboard of mouse r124.

Lesson learned r120? Or will you OD on more vitamins like menopausal sage tablets?

I haven't seen that little garter snake that was living in my garage, rent-free, for a couple of days.

Truly, I'm not afraid of it. It won't chase me or bite me.

I slam the walk-in garage door a couple of times to startle it before it startles me. It likes to hide out between the walk-in door and the drive-in door.

I wonder where it is.

Summer technically doesn't start until June 21 in the northern hemisphere. That being said, I always figured it starts unofficially with Memorial Day weekend.

Underwhelmed: going dry in June. The days are really long.

Is anybody else going to be overwhelmed by the Strawberry Moon tonight and tomorrow night?

Record set here in St. Louis for earliest date at 100 degrees.

Della, that little garter snake gives me the shudders. Ugh, just reading about it overwhelms me.

I heard something skitter across my floor and thought it might be a big mouse, but it was actually a very large lizard. Hopefully he'll eat the cricket that's been annoying me all day.

Thanks, R132. Now I have that image in my head. Just the word 'skitter' set me off again.

An old acquaintance of mine was a Miss England runner-up in her teens. Extremely girly, loved dressing up, very sociable, always seemed supremely confident. Married a handsome man, looked glamorous and incredibly happy on her wedding day, had two kids with him.

I've recently discovered via Facebook that in her late thirties, she's become a bodybuilder, had a full-blown butch makeover, and left her husband for an even butcher woman. She looks great (and very happy), but obviously nothing like her old self. I would never in a million years have expected this, but now that I look back I can see that she was always slightly androgynous, in a Kristen Stewart sort of way. I'm dying to find out how this all went down behind the scenes. Her mum (also a former beauty contestant) always revelled in having two very pretty, feminine daughters. I'm guessing she hasn't taken this turn of events too well.

I live on a lake and suddenly heard a lot of noise. Canada geese walked up onto my neighbor's lawn and she unleashed her hound. It was bedlam of honking and barking but no one was harmed.

[quote] I’m over here finger fucking my own ass!

I d going to as well but i remembered i haven't showered yet.

I fantasize about reconciling with my ex, saying we need to talk, let’s drive out to a state park we used to like to go hike in, driving us out there, getting out on the trail, looking at him and saying I left my phone in the car, be right back. Leaving him there, getting in my car, driving away, and leaving him stranded in the park. Hundreds of miles and hours away from home. I know that he’ll be safe, because there’s a visitor center. So he won’t starve or die. But he deserves it.

R137, why can’t you just wish IBS upon him like other spurned lovers?

A house fly came in through my patio door as I let the dog out. I've stalked him for two hours.

R134 / R137 You sound more vengeful than underwhelmed. I hope you find answers, but you may be posting on the wrong thread.

[quote]you may be posting on the wrong thread.

I've noticed quite a bit of that lately. This is the "I want to be underwhelmed" thread, not the "please gross me out with unpleasant details" thread.

[quote][R137], why can’t you just wish IBS upon him like other spurned lovers?

He already has IBS. That’s partly why I want to leave him in a park.

I've decided I like the scent of the Raid spray that gets rid of fruit flies. Oh, how I hate those fuckers.

[quote]I've decided I like the scent of the Raid spray that gets rid of fruit flies. Oh, how I hate those fuckers.

I left a can of Zevo spray for fruit flies sitting out in my bathroom and my housekeeper thought it was a room deodorizer. It smells absolutely awful and I dread to think that she sprayed it all over the bathroom and then still had to be in the apartment to finish cleaning around that terrible smell. I had to open all the windows for hours to get rid of it.

I use bleach and dish soap in a little.bowl for fruit flies.

I ordered some vitamins from vitacost.com this morning. I was surprised to learn they carry a few Oxo utensils and they were on sale 25% off with code. I got an Oxo ice cream scoop for 5.77 and a Turner for 5.99.

[quote]a Turner for 5.99

Were they all out of tiny Titians?

Fruit flies: In my experience, there is something exposed for them to eat in your house (and lay their eggs in), and it is usually the trash. They will move on to unrefrigerated fruit in the kitchen, but they really want the garbage to "nest" in. So, if I have them, I make sure to take the trash out *every* day, near sundown. You can get rid of them by putting a very small amount of vinegar, preferably cider, in the bottom of a little jar. Line the top with plastic wrap and a rubber band, and poke about 10 little holes in the top with a toothpick. The dumb things will go in and won't be able to figure out how to get back out again. After a day or so, throw the stuff outside. They're gone. But the main thing is not leaving your kitchen garbage exposed. I got rid of mine in this way.

Titians are much, much larger than Turners, as a general thing. You are just NOT going to find a good Titian for less than a couple hundred bucks, especially if it was one painted by the man himself (unlike the vast majority of em, which were done by his employees).

I’m you tiny turner

A turner for money

I’ll turn when you tell me to

I’m your tiny turner

A turner for money

And any D3 over 6000mg will dooooooooo

I wanted to be a private dancer as a child just like Tina.

I found a bag of Angie's Boom Chicka Pop Sweet and Salty Kettle Corn in the pantry. Don't recall when I purchased it. Must have been an impulse buy at Target. I filled up a turquoise Fiesta Gusto bowl and ate it all.

Why bother with the bowl?

^The chunkiness of Fiestaware adds fiber to your diet.

Weeds. Fuck ‘em.

Just found put thereare going to be rolling blackout this summer, i am overwhelmed

Find another thread.

I ruthlessly trimmed my limelight hydrangea. I wanted a tree and it was becoming a shrubbery.

I need to dust but am very unmotivated.

I enjoy the gentle correctives, courteously administered, when this thread strays towards whelmingness. It’s like the spirit of Bob Ross lives here.

My arugula has gone to seed.

I have a lovely tropical type of plant that needs to be split in two. It's grown too big for its (already) very big planter. I’m not whelmed by this, as I’ve done this before and I have another nice planter to transfer the other half to.

But I’m fucking dreading doing it. I mean ugh….

Ugh, indeed. I really should split the irises, but [shiver]

[quote]My arugula has gone to seed.

Your arugula and I have something in common.

OMG, this again...

"You're going to bath in an inch of water, Blanche?"

With irises, it was always a “find a spot upwind of the fucking purples” dilemma. I love them, but they fuck every other plant.

I'm underwhelmed by the amount of comments on DL tonight. Like someone is making a comment about every five minutes.

Seriously, is DL dying?

May cat is lying against my outstretched leg making it sweat.

My boyfriend called me a lover and, while it was sweet, I cringed a little. Lover is like the word moist. Does anyone like hearing that?

You sound easily whelmed, R170.

R170, I agree 100%. Men who say the word "lover" really want to come running down the staircase at Tara, dressed in one of Miz Scahlett's velvet hoop dresses (dark green). It gives me the creeps.

Did he province it “lovah?”

This Crystal Light peach-mango green tea smells like cat piss!!

I changed my John Deere lawnmower's oil today at 7:30 AM. Replaced the old air filter with a new one, too.

It was a hot 'n' sweaty job even at that early hour.

Almost whelmed me, but I got it done, and then I came inside to cool off.

R175 You sound very manly. I want to ask how exactly you cooled off, but I'm afraid of being whelmed.

R175 Shove your foot in my ass then make me suck it

Napping on the couch with dog, Old Romeo shot up, growled, and is now on alert. He does it every time.

I made an appointment to have my car serviced, the earliest available slot was in 2 weeks. I was pleased because the last time to had to to this, it was a two month wait.

^Where do go? What are you having done? Two weeks or two months...insane. I'm overwhelmed.

[quote]My cat is wet-nosing me. I hate that.

My cat sticks her paw in her water then comes up behind me and touches my neck. It’s like her version of a wet willy. And she does it so frequently that i think she thinks it’s funny. I have a cat with a sense of humor.

R180, it's my regular Audi dealership, I have a sensor warning when I start the car. Last time, it was just regular servicing. They claim the backlog was due to recalls and pandemic/staff shortages.

Today I have done absolutely nothing. And it has been so wonderful.

Father’s Day 2022: put new flowers on my dad’s headstone. He’s been gone for 5 years. Took my two sweet dogs on a SUV ride and leash free roam. Sprayed for weeds, picked up tree limbs and sawed them to fit in brush pile. Did a weeks worth of laundry and watched the Cardinals lose to the Whitesox.

Both grocery stores in town were out of plain seltzer and club soda.

I’m going to have refined carbohydrates for dinner. Namely, pasta with meat sauce. I’m using pork. I will also blanch some asparagus.

I spent twenty minutes watching Nicolas Fairford. He gave himself some kind of facial treatment and after that he had tea in his garden followed by a visit to a Van Goh exhibition. He wrapped up the video by making a cold Spanish tomato soup I did not find enticing.

I then had some Beef Plov I made earlier in the Instant Pot after which I took out the trash. Neighbor said something to me as I walked back into my garage and I just nodded, smiled and waved. I don't know what he said or what I was nodding in agreement to.

R184 Sounds like a great day, not too whelming but just whelming enough.

I watch lawn mowing videos on YouTube, they're relaxing and these guys are often mowing someone's lawn for free. Some of the homeowner's reactions are really touching.

I bought this clear protector stuff for the new couch and chair to keep Cos from destroying the furniture. The "kit" came with clear tape, some weird type of tacks, and the protector sheets that I'll have to peel off and apply to the furniture. No FUCKING instructions! I mean, yes, I know what to do with the sheets but what do I do with the tacks and tape??!! Sorry to whelm anyone.

On the plus side, the chair is a chair and a half (bigger than a recliner but smaller than a loveseat). Cos loves the big pillow. He sits on it like the King of Siam.

Well, he IS the King of Siam.

I need to lay off the popsicles, I’ve been eating two or three a day.

[quote]I need to lay off the popsicles, I’ve been eating two or three a day.

In the summer, I keep a package of the sugar-free variety in the freezer. 15 calories, 0 g saturated fat, 0 mg sodium, and 0 g of sugar.

I want soup.

I just had tomato soup.

In the summer, R194?

R191, absolutely! I wouldn't have it any other way, either!

I’m drinking Concord Grape Crystal Light 🍇

Because I Believe In Me

Dicks just keep on getting bigger and bigger. Assholes are being stretched to astonishing new limits.

Not to whelm, but R199’s research observations mean certain death for the average American bottom .

[quote]I need to lay off the popsicles, I’ve been eating two or three a day.

I bought a gigantic box of fla-vor-ice and popped a couple stacks in the freezer. They all froze solid except the green ones, which all remained liquid. I emailed the company and they mailed me coupons for more popsicles, but never answered my questions about what was wrong with the green ones.

A grocery cart is required.

Yes, I can carry all the bags. My fucking fingers grip up the next morning. I’m thisclose to walking around in a bathrobe with my willie peeping out at randos.

[quote]I’m thisclose to walking around in a bathrobe with my willie peeping out at randos.

In college, I had a job at a movie theater and our work uniform was black pants and a white shirt. I usually rode my bike to work, but I was sick (and sick days weren’t allowed) so I took the bus. I was wearing boxers and super baggy black work pants. As I was standing in the door waiting to get off the bus, I noticed a strange draft and I looked down. My penis had come OUT of my boxers, and my pants were unzipped and it had come OUT of my pants. So that day, on that bus, I was the crazy guy riding around on the bus with his dick hanging out.

[quote]the average American bottom

As if there even is such a thing.

I usually buy Key Lime or Tangerine La Croix. Decided to give the Limoncello flavor a try. I don't like it. Tastes like Lemon Pledge furniture polish smells.

R205, the La Croix Coconut is pretty nasty too. It reminded me of suntan lotion, similar to the way you described Pledge.

I stick to the basics now.

[quote]I usually buy Key Lime or Tangerine La Croix. Decided to give the Limoncello flavor a try. I don't like it. Tastes like Lemon Pledge furniture polish smells.

Lemony?

I just ate two Claussen pickle halves and drank a glass of iced tea. I may even have a third half later. I like pickles.

I’ve always thought that limes didn’t have seeds. Today, at almost 61 years old, I saw my first lime seed. I even took a picture.

Personalized too, R209. Nice.

I'm watching the sitcom Titus from the early 2000s on Youtube.

I don't know why.

Well yes I do know why. I'm waiting for my incompetent co-worker to get some revised info to me so I can proceed.

Nina from General Hospital is in it.

Re the LaCroix flavors: nearly all of them give me horrible, unbelievably bad and long-lasting indigestion, heartburn. Especially Raspberry and Tangerine. Lime is not so bad that I wouldn't drink it, but those others, whew. I am not a sensitive or picky eater, either. In fact, I have eaten many other things that friends said had given them "food poisoning" before, with no noticeable effect on me whatever. I wonder what those flavorings are really made of. I think I've read that the flavored LaCroix is measurably worse for the enamel on your teeth than the unflavored, too.

Today was Flowbee day, head and beard.

Results looks sharp.

[quote]Today was Flowbee day, head and beard.

Hi George Clooney! I didn't know you posted on DL. You Flowbeed your beard Amal? Is that a stipulation in her contract?

I just opened a can of blackberry Bubbly.

I’m fixin’ to pour myself a large glass of Crystal Light fruit punch with lots of ice.

[quote] I like pickles.

R208 I wish I could have posted that but I LOVE pickles - dill, sweet, bread&butter. It's overwhelming.

Generic producers are over sweetening bread&butter and sweet pickles. Or, perhaps they’re using a different sweetener.

I need to go back to Vlassic. Cheap pickles are never a bargain, folks.

I get bread and butter pickles from a farmers market that are way too expensive but also worth every penny.

I only like dill pickles. Polski Ogorki. Garlic!

I am.going to have a shower when it cools off.

Need two use dental floss but can't be bothered to get up. Can someone help?

[quote]Need two use dental floss but can't be bothered to get up. Can someone help?

If you can't even make yourself get up, how will you be able to handle the extreme physical exertion necessary to use dental floss?

R223 you may be a bit whelmed to know I did get up and get the floss. Of course now the cat thinks it's for him...

Your cat flosses, R224? I've always heard that cats are fastidious, but to this extent?

Yes he is should be a dental mascot.

He also likes the small of toothpaste. Meow!

Aw, it’s amazing that your cat flosses. Mine will brush her teeth (or I’ll hold the toothbrush and she’ll rub her front teeth against it). But I can’t get her back teeth. She’s really old (17) and I’ve been dreading the day the vet recommends she get her teeth professionally cleaned, but so far the vet always says her teeth are in great shape.

[quote] I am.going to have a shower when it cools off.

So...September? Ewww. TMI

[quote]So...September? Ewww. TMI

Whelmed!!

I bought a supermarket carrot cake. It was predictably bad. That didn’t stop me from eating half of it in a day before throwing the rest in the garbage.

R231 Did you eat the top half? The part with the cream cheese frosting? That's the best part.

I’m not convinced it was cream cheese frosting. There was a bit of tang, but it mainly tasted like sugar. I made a point of getting a two-layer cake, so there was plenty of frosting. There was an occasional nut or raisin, but I wouldn’t go so far as to say these were intentional ingredients.

[quote]There was an occasional nut or raisin, but I wouldn’t go so far as to say these were intentional ingredients.

I don’t want to tell you what those probably were.

R233 Oh my. I love carrot cake but only as a sheet cake with CC frosting. I, too, would be underwhelmed per your description (and R234's comment).

My Boston Terrier, Sprite, is a moony moony and a tootsy tootsy.

All my bowls are dirty.

I wish they were a way to choose which body part to add weight to. I don't want to get fat, but I hate having such a thin face.

[quote]I don't want to get fat, but I hate having such a thin face.

You could always get cheek implants. I understand they're all the rage in Hollywood.

[quote]I wish they were a way to choose which body part to add weight to. I don't want to get fat, but I hate having such a thin face.

I have no butt. It’s like my back just ends at my legs and there’s a crack at the bottom. I’ve always hated it. Pants fall off. I can actually take off pants and a belt without unbuckling. I’ve heard of people having fat sucked out of their asses to fill their faces, but not the other way around. Implants are a big no. Expensive and they sound painful. I’ve tried squats, leg lifts, squeezing my butt cheeks while walking upstairs and I think it got smaller! I think it’s actually concave now. I’m terrified of wearing blue jeans because they just accentuate the fact that I was born without an ass.

It’s also led to an (un)healthy obsession with guys with nice asses. I get so distracted that I’ll follow them, staring at their asses and forget where I’m going.

This all sounds whelming, but my ass is truly underwhelming, so I hope this counts.

I remember buying food and liquor before SuperStorm Sandy. I stopped at now-closed Acme and saw they had Entenmann's Banana Cake with the striped frosting. I bought one and it was as good as I remembered. It's been hard to find in my area.

Was the striped frosting cream cheese?

THERE IS NO REASON TO BE UNDERWHELMED TODAY.

Entenmann’s is a national treasure. We should have a holiday for it. The Louisiana crunch cake deserves a Nobel Prize.

If I get married, I want an Entenmann’s wedding cake.

What an underwhelming life you must lead r244!

I found a missing Costco cash card this morning. It was under some travel-related papers on my desk. I will now be able to spend it on lint rollers and frozen cod.

What vegetable will you serve it with, R246?

I fed my neighbors' cat.

I have plenty of food. I’m not prepping, cooking, cooking, or eating.

Probably spinach, r247.

I’m naked and scared

The daisys in my yard have really multipled. There's about a hundred and I love them.

[quote] about to watch “45 years,” a movie starring Charlotte Rampling

R78 Were you bored by it as much as I? I was tremendously underwhelmed.

[quote]I have plenty of food. I’m not prepping, cooking, cooking, or eating.

I'm still trying to figure out what the difference is between "cooking" and "cooking."

I play with myself because I like it!

R254, it was my sloppy edit. My verbs weren’t agreeing. Sorry. Cun

Starting at 6:30 a.m. I washed two loads of laundry and hung both outside to dry.

It's supposed to 98˚ today; both loads will be dry by noon, maybe before.

Organic strawberries were BOGO at the supermarket. I stocked up. Will freeze most of them.

Put the beasts in the house when line drying. Cats pretend to help you smooth out sheets and dogs play “Flying Nun”.

What are you going on about, r259?

Just checked -- laundry is 2/3rds dry. Wow. Gonna be a scorcher today.

Go jump in your laundry basket

[quote]It's supposed to 98˚ today; both loads will be dry by noon, maybe before.

Then you get to remove the dried-on bugs.

I’ve spent most of today with my fingers up my ass.

Laundry completely dry by 11:30 a.m. Towels, socks, underwear, t-shirts, polos, etc.

R263 is a dope.

Hope you didn’t wash all of those together

I haven't seen bing cherries at the stores. Has anyone seen them? Seems like they should be in season, now (northern hemisphere).

I’ve been buying them in St Louis stores for approx 3-4 weeks now. They’re about over with here.

Thanks, R268. I think I missed them, this year.

I just googled "how to get smell out of Instant Pot Sealing Ring".

The search resulted in quite a few ideas. I've decided to go with the "run the Instant Pot on Steam setting with cut up lemons and 2 cups of water and then a natural release" suggestion.

I'll report back on the effectiveness of this method tomorrow.

A deer chomped on my Japanese maple one night this week. If I see him, I will give the deer a strong talking to.

[quote]I just googled "how to get smell out of Instant Pot Sealing Ring".

Yeah, as amazing as the insta-pot is, the ring smell is a problem. I bought four, two red, two blue, and try not to use the blue ones for super spicy stuff. Soaking them in vinegar helped a little (well, probably quite a lot) but they’ll never not smell.

I used to worry about the residual ring smell when I was novice InstaPot-er.

Now I simply wash the ring thoroughly. The fact is I have never had the smell transfer into the taste of the next thing I cook in my pot.

I am borderline whelmed by the turn of this thread.

I received my local tax bill yesterday. CT is one of the few states that has a car tax and both my property tax and car tax each went up about $21. What's confusing is the assessment of my 2015 Honda Fit went up about $1000. I thought cars depreciate as they age.

My state (a deep red one) now makes me $75 per year just for driving a 15-year-old hybrid car.

There’s a shortage of new cars so used cars are more valuable.

I’m sitting on a park bench. Sweating. But enjoying the birdies and the tall trees.

[quote]I’m sitting on a park bench. Sweating.

Animals sweat. Men perspire. Ladies glisten.

Ladies glow. Fags glisten.

Fags sweat like pigs.

Excuse me. Fags glisten like pigs.

Well I’m now and look like a big pink pig.

(Home)

^whah?

I took the blindingly white legs outside. There’s a pride parade outside my building. At the head of the parade were bikers proud of their extremely tiny dicks. They were revving engines for an two hour before parade beginning. I would not blow any of them.

[quote]At the head of the parade were bikers proud of their extremely tiny dicks.

Are you sure those weren’t the Dykes on Bikes? We call their tiny penises “clits”. They’re supposed to be tiny by design.

Never occurred to me, R287. Are Dykes as obnoxious with motorcycles as the average straight/gay male US biker?

I'm not feeling a lot of pride after the last couple of posts, but I am starting to feel whelmed.

It’s just a touch of grouchiness as babies reimagine Pride,r289. I forgot how much activity goes into these events.

[quote]Are Dykes as obnoxious with motorcycles as the average straight/gay male US biker?

I dunno? But I’m reminded of the Lesbian Avengers. Any olds on here remember them? A friend of mine was the local president (Chieftess? Shift leader? Holder of the nut loaf recipe? I don’t know what they called themselves.)

But they ate fire and held demonstrations. I was so enamored with them that I asked if I could start a Lesbian Avengers Gay Men’s Auxiliary and we would make t-shirts and hold bakes sales for them. They were so fucking cool.

Share what you remember here r291

[quote]I haven't seen bing cherries at the stores. Has anyone seen them? Seems like they should be in season, now (northern hemisphere).

R267 They are still available in Wisconsin in some stores.

It's raining here in Morris County, NJ. And it's a bit chilly which is weird after the weekend of humidity.

I start my stay-cation this Friday. I'm off the week of 4th of July and get back to work on Monday, July 11th. Luckily, I still work from home on Mondays and Tuesdays so I don't have to go to the office until next Wednesday.

There’s water falling from the sky!

I just stretched out my long legs and kicked away the mouse pad, baby.

Get out there and mow my lawn!

Had to close my sliding door because of the rain. Now I have to turn on the air conditioning because it's 80 degrees in my condo.

Eat my ass! Hurry

I was the spoiled rich kid in school.

My new washer arrives tomorrow! Goodbye laundromat!!

Good for you, R301.

I went to through the car wash. Immediately thereafter, it rained.

I've been looking for some good-tasting herbal tea. Bought some rose berry rooibos tea bags. Not bad.

I just replaced my under counter water filter. There was some confusion about whether the cold water valve had been shut before I disconnected the hose to the old filter. Guess what? It wasn’t. The correct valve was hidden behind the water disposal. The hose went spraying all over the kitchen. At least I managed to clean the floor wiping it all up. I’m soaked. Thank God the cat was asleep.

^waste disposal, dammit

I made lemon balm and chamomile brewed iced tea. Very delicious!

I want some too

My bank's online web application has a financial planning section called "Goals." I am intimidated by this, as I don't have any. Then, I realized if I squint, it looks like "Goats" which made me feel much more relaxed. I like goats.

Especially the ones that faint.

There's a YTer who is an ex-Jehovah's Witness and Goat Farmer in Norway. He rants about JWs whilst goats often meander in the background. I've watched a few of his videos, mostly for the goats.

That's all I have to contribute to today's goat theme.

The problem with goats is they smell bad. Otherwise, everyone would have some.

Goats should be the official mascots for these threads. All that fainting. They're obviously easily whelmed.

Nous sommes tous des chèvres!

I have ice cream in the freezer and I haven’t touched to for 21 hours. A new record.

R329 you may be a goat but I am not please don't paint is all with the same goat-hair brush!

You think your face is such a prize. It’s really just a Brillo pad with eyes!

Bob's yer uncle!

I am completely naked

I had a pygmy goat when I was a teenager. His name was Sassafras.

I like the name Sassafras for a goat. Cute.

R319/R318 So cute, I'm whelmed! I want goats.

I had a pony. We were super-basic middle class, but my aunt was a dairy farmer and I got an old used pony. And I hated her!! She’d hold her breath while you were saddling her so when you got on, she’d exhale, and the saddle would slide off and you’d hit the ground. And she would purposefully walk under trees with low hanging branches to try to knock me off. And then once, she just walked up behind me and bit me on the shoulder!

When other kids were like “oooh, I want a pony!” I was all “Nuh-uh. You don’t. You really, really don’t”.

I hope she ended up in a glue factory.

Sorry. I got whelmed.

[quote]My new washer arrives tomorrow! Goodbye laundromat!!

I just found out that they tried to deliver the washer today, a day early, but said they couldn’t reach anyone by phone to schedule the window for delivery and now the next available delivery is July 9th. Nobody called.

I’m whelmed now. 😣

Do you have a Karen to sic on them? That’s bullshit. They’re lying.

R321 What a great Karen of a pony...pure bitch! Thank you for the post!

R322 WTF? Now the consumer is at the mercy of the merchant. Why can't we all get along?

Thanks r324. I posted both of those. I had a terrible pony and now no washer. ☹️

[quote]Do you have a Karen to sic on them? That’s bullshit. They’re lying

[quote][R321] What a great Karen of a pony...pure bitch! Thank you for the post!

I guess it’s a shame I don’t have that pony anymore (may she rest in hell).

R325 I condole you on the washer.

R326 Why is it a shame you don't have the pony anymore? You hated her.

[quote][R326] Why is it a shame you don't have the pony anymore? You hated her.

Because r323 suggested I need a Karen to handle the washer deliverers, and r324 said the pony sounds like a real Karen. So it’s a shame I don’t have the pony to sic on the washer deliverers.

If your goats smell, it's most likely because you aren't shampooing them frequently enough. Or maybe you're just using a cheap brand of conditioner??

Goats are SUPPOSED to smell. Keeps the wolves at bay.

R322, same thing happened to me with the furniture delivery I posted about earlier. My paperwork said June 4th which was a Saturday. I know I gave them my cell phone number. They only called my home number to warn me of the delivery which was set for Wednesday, June 1st. I go to the office on Wednesday. I had to wait almost a week for the reschedule.

As for my washer and dryer delivery several years ago, they had a gas washer and electric dryer and one was dented. I had to wait a month for them to deliver the correct items. I will never order from Home Depot again for appliances.

Portland was too hot over the weekend and now it is cool and gray again.

I was annoyed at the heat and sun. But now I miss the sun.

My dad actually asked Alexa for songs by George M. Cohan. I'm now listening to music hall songs from the 1910's. It's awful.

My cat is chasing a fly.

I have to put my ceiling fan cover back on. I am procrastinating.

I had a tree company come and trim my Japanese maple which a previous owner had planted too close to the house. I wanted them to trim the branches that were too close to the house, but they left the tree with no branches in that direction. I guess it will grown back. They also took took a lot of the interior growth away. I suppose they know what they are doing.

[quote]I have to put my ceiling fan cover back on.

It's not summer where you are?

R37 I am in Canada but I am talking about the cover for the bathroom ceiling fan.

Wasn’t sure whether the pony or the aunt was supposed to go to the glue factory

I’m drinking Evian with my legs spread, baby!

[quote]Wasn’t sure whether the pony or the aunt was supposed to go to the glue factory.

Aw, did you really think we’d send our beloved Aunt to the glue factory? We sent her to the sausage factory.

I am whelmed by the story of the "old, used pony." I'm going to have to lie down with a cold cloth over my eyes.

I’m sorry for posting that. If it helps, she probably went on to a better place.

Like a kindergarten. In little glue sticks and tubes of paste, and she’s getting spread all over construction paper and sprinkled with glitter.

It’s 2:30am here. Woke up, with no reason or purpose other than I am up. Thank god for Mannix reruns.

I feel that shitting is Satanic in origin.

My lawn guy sold his business to another guy. I don't like the new guy. I shall dismiss him as soon as I find yet another guy.

I meant to go to the store yesterday. I put it off until today. Guess what? Tomorrow is another day.

A tweeker is in the street screaming at his hooker girlfriend. Againz

You live in a far too whelming neighborhood r348.

Move or leave this thread.

Pat Sajak and Vanna White are the stars of Wheel of Fortune

R349, that is common on all urban neighborhood streets.

The only people out in public are juvenile delinquents running around in saggy 40 year-old skin.

I had to set my professional and personal development goals for my annual performance review last week. I threw in a softball: I will commit to not sending work emails after 5:30 PM or on weekends to respect my colleagues personal time.

And then two days later sent a 10 pm email to someone I supervise.

Those performance goals are so dumb. Hate doing them.

I ran for 40 minutes nonstop yesterday, in a huge downpour, first time running in the rain in decades. Not bad for an oldster.

I do too, r353. I don’t mind the truly professional ones (I’m gong to take a course in advanced SQL programming, I plan to attend at least two conferences) but *hate* having to do the personal ones. Our office is touchy feely, so some past personal development goals have been (at the recommendation of my boss) “I’m going to ride my bike to work 2 days a week, I’m going to pack a healthy lunch 3 days a week). Not emailing people was a personal goal. 🙄

[quote]I have to put my ceiling fan cover back on. I am procrastinating.

R335 What is a ceiling fan cover, please? I have 3 ceiling fans and have never covered them. I'm missing something here.

I got fancy schmancy chicken breasts at Earth Fare that came from chickens that led privileged pampered lives and were fed all the finest of foods. They smell like wet dog.

[quote]I got fancy schmancy chicken breasts at Earth Fare that came from chickens that led privileged pampered lives and were fed all the finest of foods.

Then came the surprise ending.

Fancy Poultry Parts

[quote]Then came the surprise ending.

Which most likely whelmed them.

I’m enjoying a vegetable salad

R329 do you have a fan in your bathroom? Is it in the ceiling? Does it have a cover? Or so you just see the fan inside the ceiling? This is the cover I mean.

R329 as long as your keep those personal goals super generic because your know HR analyzes every word and judges you on it. I actually think it's none of an employer's business what someone's personal goals are.

A new form of entertainment—seeing which of your shopping staples are out of stock due to supply chain problems. Every week, a new surprise!

^^ that sounds like a form of survival to me.

[quote]I actually think it's none of an employer's business what someone's personal goals are.

I agree. They are supposed to be personal work goals (so not “I’m gonna have sex with 25 guys I meet on a app this quarter). But suggesting riding my bike and packing a healthy lunch were not just personal, they felt judgmental.

I had a 50% off DoorDash offer and ordered dinner from Maggiano’s. One chicken piccata was $23 but you can get a second one added for just $8.

I got two dinners out of it and I felt like an extreme couponer.

Instead of going to get groceries I'm going out for Mexican food. I just can't face WinCo right now.

I’m playing with my legs. Rubbing Kiehl’s Creme de Corps into my skin.

Texas is turning blue!

^^ Sorry. That somehow got posted in the wrong thread. ^^

I enjoy a well-folded bath towel.

I am officially on stay-cation as of Noon today. I was supposed to be off today but one of my idiot clients just laid off 26 people and is getting ready to layoff more people. I plan to spend my time leisurely, i.e., binge-watching Netflix, watching Wimbledon, and some basic house cleaning.

At 8:30 a.m. CDT today I am going to mow my front yard.

I told myself that if I did this hot 'n' sweaty chore, I could forgo preparing lunch at home and take myself out to eat.

I am thinking Thai today ... .

Today’s an office holiday for me. It’s our end of fiscal year so we closed for the day and to have a 4 day weekend. So I scheduled a root canal.

I don't know what your dentist charges but I'll charge you half that.

I use Craftsman pliers (Sears Best), Taaka Vodka, and battery cables.

Come on over.

Listing to Sondra Prill sing.

NASTY!!!

[quote]I don't know what your dentist charges but I'll charge you half that.

Ok. But will you take my insurance? It’s a $3 off coupon for Crest Whitestrips.

I’m listening to the new album from Gwenno.

I saw my dentist yesterday thinking I was developing an abscess. He took pictures and sent me home, saying I'd gotten a canker sore and would be fine. And didn't even charge me!

Herpes is far from underwhelming.

AIDS r380

Canker sores aren't related to herpes, R381.

But they can be.

Oh that was nice of your dentist. R380. I had an actual abscess. It happened so fast too. It was fine and within about 30 minutes I was in excruciating pain and didn’t know what to do. I called my dentist pretty late in the evening and got her answering service and she called back that night. She gave me a prescription for an antibiotic which I was able to fill within an hour and I thought there’s no was this is going to help. This was on a Friday or Saturday night and by Monday morning she saw me and all the swelling and pain were gone (but I had to get a root canal after that).

Dentists are so much nicer than MDs in my experience. But apparently there’s a really high rate of suicide among dentists? I don’t remember where I read that, but I took it as fact and always tell people “be real nice to your dentist, or they might kill themselves”

R385 Not to be overwhelming, but I heard there's also a high rate of suicide among veteranarians. Don't know why.

Euthanizing sick animals? I wouldn’t want to do that. That would be very whelming.

Putting sick animals out of their misery and into a more peaceful death than humans are allowed to experience? I beg to differ.

R388, well of course that’s why they’re doing that, but it has to be sad and probably gets them down. I’d be really worried if I met one who *liked* doing that. Doctors at least can walk away from a dying patient and feel that they did everything they could to help despite someone dying. Vets don’t get the luxury of saying “your cat has terminal cancer, take him home and watch him suffer until he dies”. They have a moral obligation to euthanize sick and dying animals where People doctors don’t.

[quote] Vets don’t get the luxury of saying “your cat has terminal cancer, take him home and watch him suffer until he dies”.

R389 That's a 'luxury'?

I apologize for derailing the thread.

Let's get back to being underwhelmed, ladies!

[quote]R389] That's a 'luxury'?

Well, not the way I phased it! But being able to say we’ve done everything we can for them and now it’s time to wait is not a luxury they have. And it is a luxury compared to having to euthanize sick puppies and beloved old cats every day. That just sounds awfully emotionally draining.

I pick my nose

Watching double feature - Caddyshack and Blues Brothers. Maybe four hours? Drifted in and out of sleep while watching. This is why watching old movies on a hot afternoon is so great.

Whelm! Whelm! Whelm!

R393 Both classics. Wait! I'm just responding to my own post! Screw it, now I'm whelmed.

I had a root canal yesterday and I was probably still a little out of it from the nitrous (I kept falling asleep during the procedure).

I have a temporary filling in an existing crown and I asked, can I eat now or do I need to wait a couple hours? And the assistant said you can eat now, just on you right side, avoid hot food, and nothing “spiky”.

Still loopy-I said quizzically “like a hedgehog?”

I was dead serious. She just stared at me and nobody said anything for a few seconds and then she asked me to schedule a follow up appointment.

My cat's new trick is trying to trip me on the way to the fridge and then standing in the open door to see if there is something he might like.

My new kitties love roast chicken and sandwich meat. They have no boundaries, either. But they are cute as heck. 😊

I don’t have pet crows, but a group lives in my neighborhood. The juvenile delinquents are now nearly as big as the parents, but they whine a lot and pull food from their parents’ beaks.

Preferences: chicken stew, beef chili with rice, scrambled egg, tofu, corn dog.

Dislikes: salad, leftover tortilla chips, pork roast.

Watching the July 4 holiday marathon of Yellowstone. Paramount network runs a marathon every holiday and I tune in. It's like comfort food for me.

I have to leave the hook up apps. All I get are faceless incredibly hot guy torsos form guys 20 years younger than me that have very little command of the English language. They usually start with “I’m looking just for a serious man for just a committed relationship and I hope just that you are that man?”

Total catfishes.

This isn’t a humblebrag. I know these guys aren’t real, and I usually tell them “look, guys like you and I don’t hookup. I’m definitely not your type and definitely not “that man”.

R401 Yes, those apps have deteriorated into twinks looking for sugar. They have no future but hope their bodies can provide one. If I had an alternative, I'd offer it.

In the meantime, I'm making pickled onions from a very simple recipe.

I made an omelet with ham and cheese for brunch today. I enjoyed it.

^Sounds delicious - not underwhelming at all.

But as news to report in this thread, it felt sufficiently underwhelming to me, R404.

It's cloudy today.

R403 I might have added a little chopped broccoli but that sounds like work.

I just puked up my pizza

Breath mint. STAT!

[quote]R403 I might have added a little chopped broccoli but that sounds like work.

It sounds exhausting, actually. There's a limit to how much work I'm willing to do on a Sunday.

It rained yesterday, almost all day. The sun never came out. Today, no rain but it was grey until 1 pm or so, when the sun popped out and my coneflowers, daisies, coreopsis, asters and phlox just exploded. It was, dare I say, almost overwhelming. To celebrate, I vacuumed. Later, I reheated some leftover gumbo and paired it with an iced tea for a perfectly underwhelming dinner.

My Walmart grocery order only had 2 substitutions. That feels like a victory.

My dog just let an awful fart.

Dogs understand comedy and community.

My root canal on Friday didn’t bother me Friday or Saturday. I dint have to take any Advil, but tonight it suddenly hurts like hell!! Not enough to worry that something is wrong, but very sore.

R411 Gumbo and iced tea sounds wonderful. I wish I had both. Or either.

Damn. The pharmacy closed early and I’m out of BuSpar.

^I had some WEIRD dreams last night.

I bought my (ex) boyfriend a pair of enchroma glasses for the colorblind. He’s never tried them before but he’s so colorblind he had to ask my what color my hair was (and the paint in his apartment and what color my bedspread was and about 1.000 other things) . I hope that I got the right kind and they work. I’m also worried about it making him sad or angry for some reason (but I think I’m just being paranoid). He can throw them away for all I care, but it’s a surprise and I want to see his reaction to them. They weren’t cheap! But I’m excited. I can’t wait til they get here.

I'm whelmed by how you were played by this guy.

R420, who me?

^sorry, R50, wrong thread!

I dreamed I was dressed up as Princess Diana and the Queen thought it was funny at first, then she later punched me and told me to "knock it off". Then Fergie, Duchess of York asked me to wash two pairs of shoelaces for her.

I've been reading too much royal news.

And you obviously need to reconsider your shoelace cleansing practices.

R421 Don't mean to add to your turmoil, but yes.

R420, I wasn’t played by this guy. I broke up with him and we’re still friends. It’s not like he made up being color blind. And it’s not a bribe to get back together with him. It was just something I always wanted to do for him and I happened to see a YouTube video of a guy getting a pair and how excited he was and I thought “huh. I could do that!”

I just want to see if they make him happy. And I said they weren’t cheap, but they also weren’t expensive. I’ve spent more at a bar than I did on these!!

We'll be waiting to hear what his reaction was, R426. I hope it won't be too whelming.

Ok r427, I’ll keep you updated.

I was going to buy some as a graduation present for my nephew, so I also want to hear how things go, R419/R426/R428.

There are some very witty posters on DL at the moment. I have laughed our loud several times catching up on threads.

The ‘Underwhelmed’ threads have always been a special place. It felt like we were the nice neighborhood on Datalounge. Our posters were polite, kind, and better mannered and didn’t whelm. Somewhere along the way, our little neighborhood changed, just like my real life one.

I blocked that one guy. And I rarely do that.

I started an “I want to be overwhelmed” thread to keep the whelm out.

I’m also 90% responsible for most of the whelming here, though.

Sorry guys.

Someone mentioned Napster on another thread and it zone me out back to the 90s.

Do people.really have a single favorite color? I can never answer this question.

R435 - Joey Luft does.

My fave color is the peach color of my boyfriends cock.

This might be whelming, but I got myself so excited about getting the enchroma glasses that I’ve now made a slightly elaborate production out of it. I plan to take him to the park on a weekend and I’m gonna wear a red t-shirt and a green plaid long sleeve shirt then give him the glasses. I want him to be able to see that the shirts are different colors and then I want to see what happens when he sees all the green leaves in the trees. 🤗🤗🤗

I accidentally kicked my cat out of bed.

Don't worry, I know when and where you sleep.

[quote]I accidentally kicked my cat out of bed.

Oh I do that all all the time. My cat and I have terrible timing. She jumps up on the end of the bed right as I’m rolling over. And for some reason I don’t just “roll over”, I toss myself up in the air like an Olympic gymnast so I can land on my other side. Bottom line is I’ve roundhouse kicked her just as she was jumping in bed on numerous occasions.

I am in a waiting room. Someone named Blanca was called for. Imagine being named after a color. Hello my name is Orange.

I always feel bad when I disturb those little shits even tho they hog the bed.

[quote]Imagine being named after a color.

R442 Hello, my name is Blue Ivy

Redd Foxx - nickname though

I just found a booger on my keyboard. Yikes.

You must really be bored r446 to post that.

R447 Bored and reading DL. Isn't that the definition of underwhelmed?

I tried to board the wrong flight this morning.

Haven't wanted to cook for a while, but while food shopping, got the urge to make split pea soup. Doesn't sound really summery, but tasted good and glad I made it. Lots of soup for a few days.

Absolutely my favorite soup r450.

I have been hiccuping for at least ten and a half hours, with no end in sight. I don't know how much more of this I can take.

R452, my dad had the hiccups for more than a month. Twice! And no doctor could help.

Good luck.

R450 Pea soup is definitely not a summer dish but I love it year 'round...the thicker the better.

Oh god I’m cummin!

[quote]Oh god I’m cummin!

Oh god, I’m cumin!!

Thank you, R453. The hiccups finally seem to have stopped now.

[quote]Thank you, [R453]. The hiccups finally seem to have stopped now.

You’re welcome! Just know, they could come back at anytime and last for MONTHS!! 😳

(Feeling underwhelmed still?)

We’re Cummins!

Wasn’t there an old joke about a mom who got on the floor and lifted her legs up then shouted OH GOD IM CUMMIN’. Her feet were the first body parts to enter heaven.

Tiny silicone kitchen mittens would help with the percolator and oven.

I had Cherry red kitchen crap. Now, I’m settling into Depression Gray crap - it’s a community theater version of Martha Stewart’s post-prison palette.

I’m feeling mellow. This is coming hot off of drinking a can of Zoa fruit punch.

The Orioles are still here, gobbling up the grape jelly. They are so beautiful but will probably leave in a week.

Whataburger got my order wrong. I ordered a double with no cheese. The bun was stale, and my fries were cold. What's going on over there?

I have never understood the appeal of Whataburger. Never had a good one there!

I call it Whatthehellburger.

What's worse is, this was my "cheat day" meal. All the calories, none of the fun.

Whataburger has a delicious lemon pie - that's the only reason why I go there.

I bought the most beautiful sports jacket online. I’m picky and all the blue were too bright and all the plaids were too small and the ones I liked at the department stores were $600+, so I bought this. It was on sale for $127 and I thought “oh, it’s gonna be so cheap and feel and look terrible or it’s never gonna show up”. They fedexed it, it arrived in a beautiful folding garment bag, it fit perfectly (no alterations needed) and I absolutely am in love with it. AND, the buttons on the sleeve that do nothing?? Actually unbutton! I don't know why or what I’d ever need that for, but I just thought that was cool. It’s an Indian store (I thought they were in France at first) but they shipped in 4 days. But they have some crazy jackets and shirts that no one should wear in between some really beautiful jackets that I highly recommend.

5 stars. Love it.

That is a beautiful blue.

I was prepared for rhinoceros-like features - as my favorite demented Balenciaga provides this season .That would have overwhelmed me..

Oh god, r469. That’s totally out of my price range! Are those even mens shoes?😳

What are those? Rich man's Doc Martens?

Today’s NYT crossword was a bitch.

Is there anything more miserable than a canker sore? I can't stand them. I managed to avoid getting one for a few years, but now I have one that is driving me nuts.

[quote]Is there anything more miserable than a canker sore?

Well, quite a few things, really, but giving examples would be whelming.

There’s a Remington Steele marathon on TV.

MODERATOR: SHUT DOWN THIS THREAD.

It has been won by r475.

R475 I'm watching the Breaking Bad marathon on AMC. I'm wavering between whelmed and overwhelmed. I should probably switch to Remington Steele.

R473 have you tried sucking a tums or rolaids on the location of the canker sore? Sometimes this helps.

I just sent my master $100. His feet n cock make me happy.

Get a Zovirax prescription. Take as the first tingle. For me, it stops the sore from emerging.

I’m tired of uglies. All I have encountered today are ugly people. Can’t take it.

R428, maybe reconsider it. I gave him the enchroma glasses today and he was completely underwhelmed. I guess that fits well with the theme of the thread. They’ll never be anything more than a novelty to him.

I decided I was going to record his reaction and I asked if I could, but then I forget to actually hit record, so I got no reaction video. Which is just as well, because I basically got no reaction. He didn’t hate them, but he clearly didn’t get excited about them.

Wish I had gotten him a a r-shirt instead.

I just received two notices from my town. They are rebuilding my street. One says I cannot park on the street during the day time. The other says they will be rebuilding the apron in front of my driveway (which until now has been an individual homeowner responsibility) and that I must remove my car from my driveway or I will not have access to it “during the process.” So no parking in my driveway or on my street? Fuck that.

R482, your ex sounds like a shit. Offer to return them for him.

I am lying on my exercise mat.

[quote]I am lying on my exercise mat.

Are you reclining on it or being untruthful?

Both?

Instead making two sandwiches of fried cod on spongey potato bread with tarter sauce, I slathered both sides of a slice and made a delightful double decker.

I don’t know if fresh tomato slices would make this a sink sandwich.

I'm full. I've had my fill for the evening.

My cat's cat is hot and flopping around upstairs while he (the smart one) is snoozing in the cool foyer.

Something is causing me to have an allergic skin reaction, but I’m not using any new products or detergents. I suspect they changed the ingredients in my regular soap. Fuck you supply chain!

[quote] But apparently there’s a really high rate of suicide among dentists?

They are universal hated.

I hate when you buy a new brand of coffee and it's not as delicious as expected, but you feel obligated to finish the bag instead of wasting it.

I am going to the dentist today.

R492 same with veterinarians

R494, I just got back from the dentist myself.

I just ate a frozen dinner bowl. It was nasty.

[quote]I just ate a frozen dinner bowl. It was nasty.

I think you're only supposed to eat what's inside the bowl.

And thaw it first.

Removing the packaging is key.

R493, I'm with you there! I bought a big can of Bowl & Basket decaf. It's Shop Rite's store brand so I know it's made by another coffee manufacturer; maybe Folger's or Maxwell House. Bad idea. It has no real coffee flavor. I've got about 1/2 the can left. I will be frugal in other places but I won't scrimp on coffee anymore.

Serve it to your enemies.

Folger's Crystals NEVER disappoiint.

I like a full-bodied coffee like Maxwell House dark roast pods, which go in the green bin!

$600 for xrays, clean, polish and fluoride. Next month I get a filling.

My cat hid in the laundry closet from the cleaning lady. I don't know how he fits in there.

I’m drinking a large glass of Crystal Light Concord Grape soft drink mix with lots of ice.

I have a package waiting for me, but the nosy desk clerk is working tonight. I’ll pick it up tomorrow. It’s a shirt, but that’s my business.

It’s ugly and isn’t 100% cotton.

I think that TV stations air the Emergency Broadcast System tests more frequently than they used to.

Or maybe you live in a particularly emergency-prone neighborhood.

[quote][R482], your ex sounds like a shit. Offer to return them for him.

What? No, r484. He’s a good guy, and I anticipated he’d either be overwhelmed or underwhelmed by them. He was absolutely gracious about them and kept thanking me and we learned all sorts of things about the way he perceives color. He was just very unsure (and maybe they made him uncomfortable). The funniest thing I found out was that he thought my skin was green (whatever green looks like with the glasses is how light, White skin color appears to him normally). And we looked at photos of a painting he bought recently and he pointed at the red and said “that’s black, right?” So he was confused. He did say he’d wear them to a museum (he loves art museums) and see what he’s been missing. But his reaction was very subdued.

My ex-(ish) boyfriend is, as I've mentioned before, colorblind. I slightly changed my hair color. He didn't even notice! 😂

My bf uses my mouth and ass at will

If that underwhelms you r514, perhaps a new boyfriend?

I went over to the ex-(ish) boyfriend's with the express purpose of getting laid. We started watching a tv show first and he fell asleep, and I am unlaid and underwhelmed.

Are we still talking about the color blind guy?

I dumped my boyfriend because he uses an electric razor and that's just lazy

Electric razored beard burn of the taint is the best souvenir.

I went to a party yesterday and not one friend mentioned my new haircut. It was expensive.

On the bright side, R520, when a haircut is immediately noticeable, it's often because the results are unfortunate looking. You should be happy that no one was whispering behind your back.

How do I know they weren’t?

You got me there, R522.

Now I feel worse.

I just pulled my hand out of my asshole and smelled it.

It’s National Ice Cream Day! Have a scoop, or a pint, or whatever they’re calling the big tub.

Personally, I bought a tub of Tillamook White Chocolate Raspberry which I acknowledge was a risk and not just because I just realized the label say “white chocolatey” not “white chocolate.” Just in case, I got another tub of Edy’s Peanut Butter Park which is chocolate ice cream with peanut butter cups and peanut butter swirl.

I went to an old fashioned Jewish deli for breakfast and asked if they could give me an everything bagel with avocado. They gave me an everything bagel with a half an avocado still in the peel.

Totally my fault for being so tragically hip.

I’m sucking an ice cube

I’m having a Creamsicle. Does that count 526?

I’m watching the $100,000 Pyramid on ABC and I have no idea which two are the celebrities and which two are the regular people.

My boyfriend fell asleep while I was talking to him in bed. I literally bored him to sleep. 🙁

[quote]I’m watching the $100,000 Pyramid on ABC and I have no idea which two are the celebrities and which two are the regular people.

Did one of them have big red hair and big boobs and a Spanish accent and keep saying "Coochie! Coochie!"?

If so, that was the celeb.

[quote] I literally bored him to sleep.

Or perhaps he just felt safe and relaxed enough with you that he fell into a peaceful slumber.

[quote]Or perhaps he just felt safe and relaxed enough with you that he fell into a peaceful slumber.

Aw, that's sweet. I can tell when he falls asleep because he almost immediately starts lucid dreaming and says strange stuff. Like he'll just say "Firetruck" or "What a bunch of knuckleheads" (he apparently dreams that he's a 1920s Vaudevillian). Tonight it was "oh my god, all those bodies" 😳

Last night I saw a commercial for the Hyatt Regency Maui where they apparently have an “award-winning luau.” I didn’t have anything else to think about, so I started wondering how many people, when selecting a luau, consider whether a luau has won any awards. And who gives out the luau awards and how official are they?

The Polynesian Cultural Center was just honored to be nominated, R526.

^^ Er, I was responding to R536.

[quote]My boyfriend fell asleep while I was talking to him in bed. I literally bored him to sleep.

Years ago, when lengthy phone calls were still a thing, I told a friend some drawn-out story and then waited for some kind of response. When none came, I realized that he had fallen asleep. I have no idea at what point I had lost my audience.

Didn't the Lilac Fairy overreact a bit when she put the entire kingdom to sleep for a century just because the princess was in a coma? Yes, it was sad for her family and everything, but a whole century?

[quote]Didn't the Lilac Fairy overreact a bit when she put the entire kingdom to sleep for a century just because the princess was in a coma? Yes, it was sad for her family and everything, but a whole century?

I was surprised when I saw the Disney version again a few years ago and realized that it dispensed with that whole putting-everyone-to-sleep for a hundred years bit. From the time the Princess falls into a coma until the Prince awakens her with Love's First Kiss seemed to take only a few hours, during which he does battle with and bumps off Maleficent after she turns into a dragon. Apparently Walt agree with you, R540.

I don't have enough friends and spend my weekends sitting alone in my apartment. I have a full time 9-5, M-F job (and I'm pretty senior and have a very generous income) but I decided to apply for a weekend job just so I could have something to do. Already having a job is an incredible negotiating point. I looked up what I wanted to do, wrote them an email and submitted my completely irrelevant academic CV for a job in which I have zero qualifications and told them, look, I know you want to hire someone full time, but I'm only available Saturday and Sundays.

And they replied and this week I have an interview to become a part time adoption counselor at a cat rescue. I'm gonna get to play with kittens all weekend and get paid!!

Still don't have any friends. But...kittens!!!

Kittens aren't friends?

[quote]Still don't have any friends. But...kittens!!!

And you'll be meeting other "eccentrics" at the rescue. Say goodbye to loneliness.

London.

Even though we're having a record heatwave I had porridge for breakfast. I'll have hot soup for lunch. I don't know why.

Also - I read in a book last week that if you're not sleeping well have a bath before bed and it really works!! Slept like a top even though it was the hottest night since records began and all I have is a table fan.

[quote]Slept like a top

What does a top mean in London? Because in the US. Especially on this board, many will assume you mean like you had your dick in a guy's ass.

google:

sleep like a top in American English = to sleep soundly.

Well I understood that from the context, r547. My question was what does "a top" mean in British English? Like a spinning toy top? Like a blouse? Like a manly he-man top daddy? What does "top" have to do with sleeping soundly?

I know as much as you in that respect. It is odd. I've never analysed it before.

[quote]Sleep like a top is an idiom that has been in use for[bold] hundreds of years;[/bold] it is mostly used in British English

[quote]The expression sleep like a top has been in use since the 1600s and is an allusion to the fact that [bold]when a top is perfectly balanced when spinning, it stays in place.[/bold]

Nah. Top must have an obsolete definition. Reference to the spinning toy makes no sense.

[quote]Nah. Top must have an obsolete definition. Reference to the spinning toy makes no sense.

When a yo-yo is spinning, it's referred to as "sleeping." Perhaps the term was also applied to the spinning toy.

You're the top! You're the Colosseum!!

And here I thought I was the Louvre museum.

That anything goes, R553.

Oh great. Now Ethel Merman is screeching in my head.

Here, R555. You can replace Ethel with the always vivacious Mitzi Gaynor, still with us at age 90.

Some old fat creep kept leering at me at my doctors office today. Yuk.

I bought lifesavers gummies and they were good, but I regretted not getting the hard candy lifesavers. They deliver sugar in a more focused way.

I miss the Tangerine Life Savers.

I hope I see more fireflies.

I hope you do too r560. I’m looking for more hummingbirds myself.

I saw three AMAZING asses at Subway three times in a row of going there, but I haven't seen any in the weeks since.

It's expected to be 101 degrees in Washington, D.C., on Sunday. The very thought is whelming.

[quote]I miss the Tangerine Life Savers.—So tangy

and so tangeriney!

You could still get them within a mixed fruit or maybe "tropical fruit" version, for a long time, along with coconut and others.

Today, I'm doing my second client visit since the pandemic started. Before the pandemic, I visited client sites a couple times a week. I'm not a nurse; I work in HR (ducks head).

Not looking forward to being out in the heat but, I do get to drive my recently-purchased, used Cadillac ATS. I do love that car!

Fireflies are more abundant in June than July

An annoying friend has invited me for dinner. I saw them far too recently. I have a week to bail...

I’m bored. It’s too early to eat dinner. Poop.

London.

Sausages, mash and steamed spinach for supper.

The M&S sausages were too salty. The spinach was tough. The potatoes were nice. I know how to make mash.

It's murky and humid here.

I got pinged by a guy on scruff and he was shirtless in all of his photos. He had a smoking hot body and I'd probably do the same, but he said hi and I said "hi, I'd like to buy you a shirt. Do you have an Amazon wishlist?" And he blocked me!

^Dodged a bullet.

New thread awaits.

I’ve laundered two loads of dirty clothes, pressed four pairs of pants, and starched seven shirts.

That’s three bowls.

And they promised you there would be no math

I enjoy a starched shirt, r573. No idea why, as I grew up in a household where my mother would starch a shirt maybe twice a year, but still, I do.

I’m watching a rerun of “Emergency!” A hairdresser, on a 12-day fast, overdosed on diet pills and went nuts during the rinse & set segment of of a customer’s “Mary Frann” makeover.

London.

When we were having our two day "end of the world" heatwave last week I decided to do my laundry and put my rack out in the garden (our dryers are shit in this country). Everything dried within half an hour and don't need ironing (not that I ever iron). It was fantastic,

[quote]put my rack out in the garden

Pics please.

The adolescent crows are in brat mode -screaming in one anothers’ ears to steal shit.

Four weeks ago, this murder of sleek black shits was a cute flock of fluffy toddlers trying to hop everywhere to avoid flying.

I cleaned all afternoon. I might have people stop by after a wake in the area for a friend’s mother. I only do a dedicated cleaning when I’m expecting company.

After a 3 week wait, my sprinkler repair finally came today and fixed my lawn irrigation system. No more messing with the hose!

^ hate to be a downer, but if you're in an area suffering from drought...

I went on a walk yesterday around my complex. Checked my FitBit and I haven't been out for a walk since June 28th. That's the last day the weather was either nice enough or not too humid. It felt good but boy, was I tired afterwards! While I've been getting my daily steps each day, marching in place and walking are two different things. I'm hoping to get out for another walk this afternoon.

R581, I hope you're not suggesting I should have left a system with broken pipes in place to continue leaking water and undermining the topsoil purely to avoid being scolded here.

The "Signs that you're getting old" thread is closed. Is there another one? I enjoyed reading the comments.

What are we—the thread monitors?

Hungry Root came through