Afternoon Tea Tomorrow

[quote] One is bringing her parents

A couple of old prunes!

Here we go with this gay food shit again

Get over it, R2. At least this isn't about politics or porn.

Putting Prosecco is redundant if you’ve already got aperol spritz on the menu. What other sparkling wine would you use?

Scones and Devonshire cream?

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRINNNNNNGGGGGG menu.

you aren't serving tea?

Sounds lovely Op. although I might just skip ahead to the dessert options. I’m not much for fish. Perhaps one sandwich square for good manners.

What does the dill go with? Is there some kind of cracker with that? Or does it go on the egg salad? On the sandwiches?

This should be all. The rest is excessive.

Cucumber Dill

Smoked Salmon

Lemon Squares

Aperol Spritz

Prosecco

It’s a tad Marie Antoinette but hey, after 2 years of a pandemic I’d say it’s ok to be a little extra.

I would be quite delighted to stroll up at 2pm to this spread.

Egg salad will make your home smell like fart.

Won't cucumber dill be too vegetable-y?

I want you to hold it between your knees, Greg.

Why are you copying tea at the Ritz? Do you live in London?

That's a very bland menu, Gregory.

I loves proseco (the one time I tried it). Never tried aperol spritz but sounds great.

The fact that you aren't making scones, raspberry jam, and clotted cream tells me everyone will be disappointed.

Greg, I hope you're not using a tower.

Making clotted cream is about an 18 hour job. It's pretty much a waiting game.

Are you going to de-crust all of your sandwiches?

I'll be there on time .

Sounds amazing. Very elegant.

That sounds very nice. Smoked salmon needs capers, onion and cream cheese, IMO.

[quote] Here we go with this gay food shit again

That's right, R2—better get used to it.

[quote] Putting Prosecco is redundant if you’ve already got aperol spritz on the menu. What other sparkling wine would you use?

You're right. I was just thinking that some people will like an Aperol Spritz and others will likely prefer to have Prosecco without the Aperol.

[quote] Scones and Devonshire cream?

No, I thought about it but it seems a bit heavy since it's only 2:00 and they would have had lunch. The sandwiches are small and not particularly heavy in the way that scones and clotted or Devonshire cream are.

[quote] BOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRINNN - NNNGGGGGG menu.

That's your opinion.

[quote] you aren't serving tea?

No. If someone wants tea, I'll make it, but I'm sure that they will be happy with Prosecco or lemonade.

Add a couple of overflowing ashtrays, dish washing gloves and scattered bottles of silicone lube and you will really impress.

[quote] What does the dill go with? Is there some kind of cracker with that? Or does it go on the egg salad? On the sandwiches?

[bold] For the Cucumber Dill Sandwich: [/bold]

Chop dill. Combine with softened cream cheese, lemon zest and a pinch of salt.

Cut paper thin slices of English cucumber.

Spread cream cheese mixture onto potato bread and add cucumbers slices. Add top slice of bread. Cut off crusts, then cut into rectangles.

Poor Greg. Some of these replies are hilarious. Like the idiot that mentions capers, cream cheese etc. with the salmon. You aren't running a Jewish deli.

[quote] Add a couple of overflowing ashtrays, dish washing gloves and scattered bottles of silicone lube and you will really impress.

Thanks, R30! You sound like a nice guy.

[quote] You aren't running a Jewish deli.

Or a bed and breakfast.

[quote] It’s a tad Marie Antoinette but hey, after 2 years of a pandemic I’d say it’s ok to be a little extra. I would be quite delighted to stroll up at 2pm to this spread.

Thanks, R11! It's just something simple at an odd time of day to be entertaining.

[quote] Poor Greg. Some of these replies are hilarious. Like the idiot that mentions capers, cream cheese etc. with the salmon. You aren't running a Jewish deli.

Hahahaha! Right, R32! These replies are the best.

The cucumber/dill and smoked sandwiches sound delightful, Greg. And lemon squares!!!

I'd like lemonade mixed with seltzer/San Pellegrino, please.

[quote] Won't cucumber dill be too vegetable-y?

No, I don't think so. I looked for watercress thinking I'd make a watercress butter or mix it into cream cheese for the cucumber sandwich, but the market had no watercress.

[quote] The cucumber/dill and smoked sandwiches sound delightful, Greg. And lemon squares!!! I'd like lemonade mixed with seltzer/San Pellegrino, please.

Great idea! I'd like that, too. Simply Lemonade and Pellegrino sounds so good!

[quote] Why are you copying tea at the Ritz? Do you live in London?

No, I live in Boston and the Cape. I wasn't aware that I am copying tea at the Ritz. It's pretty standard fare for afternoon tea.

[quote] That's a very bland menu, Gregory.

Yes, it's meant to be.

How do you make your egg salad, Greg? I think your menu is delightful and I would be very pleased if I were a guest!

[quote] I loves proseco (the one time I tried it). Never tried aperol spritz but sounds great.

You should try one sometime. Aperol is a very pretty orange color and is slightly bitter.

[quote] How do you make your egg salad, Greg? I think your menu is delightful and I would be very pleased if I were a guest!

Thank you, R42! Here you go:

[bold] Egg Salad for Tea Sandwiches [/bold]

4 hard cooked eggs

1 Tablespoon of peeled and finely chopped celery

4 Tablespoons of mayonnaise

1 teaspoon of Dijon mustard

Sea salt & freshly ground pepper

Mash eggs in a bowl. Fold in mayonnaise, celery, Dijon, salt, & pepper.

Spread softened butter on Pepperidge Farm wheat or white bread. Add egg mixture.

Cut off crusts. Cut into rectangles or small triangles.

One one side edge of the sandwich, spread lightly with mayonnaise then dip just that side in chopped chives.

[quote] Greg, I hope you're not using a tower.

Rah-row. I have a three-tier silver stand that I'm using.

I’m hungry now. The salmon and the dill sound ambrosial.

[quote] Are you going to de-crust all of your sandwiches?

Yes, of course I am! Then they will be cut in rectangles or small triangles. Except for the smoked salmon. They will be on pumpernickel bread (with no top slice of bread) and then cut into small circles using a biscuit cutter.

R46, they are! Here's how I'll do it:

[bold] Smoked Salmon Tea Sandwiches [/bold]

1 package smoked salmon

½ English cucumber, very thinly sliced

2 ounces of cream cheese

lemon zest

dill chopped

1 pinch salt

sliced pumpernickel bread

+++

Combine chopped dill with softened cream cheese, lemon zest, and a pinch of salt.

Spread on pumpernickel bread.

Add a layer of cucumbers, then smoked salmon (N.B., there is no bread on the top).

Using a biscuit cutter, cut a circle out of the sandwich.

Transfer some of the cream cheese mixture to a piping bag and pipe a dollop on the top of each sandwich. Add a dill sprig for garnish.

Fucking eldergays

Greg,

Off topic, but do you like preserves? If so which are your favorites?

I like my smoked salmon with just a dill sprig on very lightly buttered pumpernickel. I've never been a cream cheese fan.

Greg you menu sounds lovely and your guests are lucky to be coming to your house tomorrow. I love that you specified Pepperidge Farm. I serve those too.

[quote] Fucking eldergays

You sound like such a nice guy. How do you define "eldergays?"

PS, I was entertaining like this when I was in my twenties.

R51 I'm definitely trying that next time. I'm not in love with cream cheese either. But I love butter and that dill sounds perfect.

[quote] Greg you menu sounds lovely and your guests are lucky to be coming to your house tomorrow. I love that you specified Pepperidge Farm. I serve those too.

Thanks, R52! It's the perfect bread for sandwiches like these.

Sounds really nice. Any music being played? What do you think the conversations will be? Are you planning on introducing any particular topics?

I guess surprise anal isn’t on the menu…

[quote] Off topic, but do you like preserves? If so which are your favorites?

Yes, I love preserves, but generally not on toast in the morning (though sometimes I do have preserves on an English muffin). I like them with peanut butter and sometimes right off the spoon.

What brands do I like? I like Trappist Preserves a lot. Also Bonne Maman. I just discovered a brand called Litaly that I like. And then I sometimes buy some small batch preserves and jams from a local farmers market or Formaggio Kitchen.

I also make preserves. I make blackberry-sage jam from my own blackberries. I make peach preserves from peaches from my tree. Pear preserves from my own pears. I also make apple butter from the apples from my apple tree. I sometimes also make blood orange marmalade (blood oranges from the store). Oh, and I've made mint jelly.

What about you?

[quote] Sounds really nice. Any music being played? What do you think the conversations will be? Are you planning on introducing any particular topics?

I'll probably have Pink Martini on Sonos. Or Planet Lounge, or a station called "The Jazz Standards Radio."

No idea about conversation. I'll probably want to hear about their visit to the Cape and talk about summer plans, etc.

[quote] I guess surprise anal isn’t on the menu…

If I told you, it wouldn't be a surprise now would it?

Time to take my lemon squares out of the oven.

Hello, Greg. Did I tell you on one of your threads I made Cesar dressing? It's been years since I made it and it takes maybe three batches to get a feel for it. I've not been putting enough garlic in it so next time I must throw caution to the wind and crush more cloves. There's nothing like the taste sensation when it's made correctly.

[quote] Formaggio Kitchen

Did you start the original Philip from Formaggio Kitchen thread?

[quote] Time to take my lemon squares out of the oven.

Do you pronounce it "lemon squahs"?

[quote] Hello, Greg. Did I tell you on one of your threads I made Cesar dressing? It's been years since I made it and it takes maybe three batches to get a feel for it. I've not been putting enough garlic in it so next time I must throw caution to the wind and crush more cloves. There's nothing like the taste sensation when it's made correctly.

Hello, Z-W. No, you did not tell me that. I always use less garlic than a recipe might call for. I don't like it to be too garlicky. How do you make your dressing?

[quote] Did you start the original Philip from Formaggio Kitchen thread?

Yes, I did. Many years ago!

[quote] Do you pronounce it "lemon squahs"?

No, but my parents would say it that way. I don't have a Boston accent (at least I don't think I do).

Delightful! There's something so simply decadent about a small meal of bread, some sort of meat/cheese combo, and an alcoholic beverage. Dessert makes it even nicer!

I loved those Formaggio Kitchen threads. I even visited Formaggio Kitchen during a business trip to Boston just to see if I could catch Philip. Alas I did not.

[quote] Delightful! There's something so simply decadent about a small meal of bread, some sort of meat/cheese combo, and an alcoholic beverage. Dessert makes it even nicer!

I couldn't agree more, R68!

[quote] I loved those Formaggio Kitchen threads. I even visited Formaggio Kitchen during a business trip to Boston just to see if I could catch Philip. Alas I did not.

That's so funny! You visited the one in Cambridge? That's where Philip worked. He then moved on to be in charge of wine at a Whole Foods in Cambridge. He really had the best ass.

R59

Very nice choices. I never heard of those groups so I looked them up. I really liked Planet Lounge’s Lounge requiem. 😊

[quote] You visited the one in Cambridge?

Yes. Is he still at Whole Foods in Cambridge? If so I foresee another trip to Boston.

I recall looking for things to take for dinner back to my hotel room but really being there for Philip’s ass. Between looking for dinner items I would check out the asses of the guys working there to see if one of them was Philip. None of them were. (Sad emoticon)

Is Planet Lounge part of the Datalounge Network?

Pretentious as fuck.

These all read like a Good Housekeeping article from the fifties.

R74, I don't believe that Philip is still at Whole Foods. That was a while ago. Check out this link. Perhaps one of these comments was from you

[quote] Pretentious as fuck. These all read like a Good Housekeeping article from the fifties.

I'm not familiar with Good Housekeeping from the fifties. In fact I wasn't even close to being born.

Shoo!

Greg, I remember that thread at R79, but that wasn’t me who posted about visiting Formaggio Kitchen. I visited when he was still there during the height of the original thread.

R74, I am recalling that Philip once responded to a thread on DL. Someone else who worked at Formaggio told him that his ass was a topic of discussion on a gay Internet forum. He replied to a post and said something like, "Thank you all for the nice comments." He may also have stated that he's straight. I wish I knew where he was now.

Make sure to use Duke's mayonnaise!

[quote] Make sure to use Duke's mayonnaise!

Funny you should say that....I just got my first jar of Duke's ever and have yet to try it.

Is somebody going to do a separate mocking post or do I have to?

OP dressed for her tea party

Greg, I never realized how many rubes are on DL. I understand that not everyone is a foodie, but not to have basic knowledge is pathetic. Especially since the average age must be 60.

[quote] OP dressed for her tea party

Hardly.

[quote] Is somebody going to do a separate mocking post or do I have to?

Looks like you're up. Give it your best shot.

Oh, to have the sophistication to appreciate egg salad and finger sandwiches. Never heard of them down here in the holler, R89

[quote] Greg, I never realized how many rubes are on DL. I understand that not everyone is a foodie, but not to have basic knowledge is pathetic. Especially since the average age must be 60.

Oh, this place is crawling with rubes. It's fascinating how many people here are so eager to advertise how limited they are.

R92, maybe not everyone has had a proper tea, but how would one not know what it is?

Put your pinkie back in your asshole, you sad cunt, R94. And drop the accent.

R95 = class act

Afternoon tea is a pleasure to partake of and attend. However, while I do see why Greg is not serving scones and clotted cream (time of day, not as much food needed), they are my favorite part of tea and I would miss them. I'm also very partial to the little cucumber-dill sandwiches as well as the little chicken salad sandwiches. There's a great tea shoppe near me that does the whole shebang and even has outrageous, frowsy hats for women and men to wear. I'm thinking it might be time to make a visit.

[quote] It's fascinating how many people here are so eager to advertise how limited they are.

Greg is Barbara Thorndyke.

How nice for you. How nice for your guests. How nice for everybody!

Greg is a fuckin prisspot!

None of this meets with my approval.

[quote] Greg is a fuckin prisspot!

Great. Thank. Now shoo.

this should be the No. 1 post in the "Tell me you are gay, without telling me you are gay!" thread!

[quote] this should be the No. 1 post in the "Tell me you are gay, without telling me you are gay!" thread!

Thank you, R103. What an honor!

Sounds lovely. The tower sounds fun. I would love to see that brimming with these treats if I were a guest.

Sounds delightful. I would be so flattered if someone went to the trouble of making this for me. I consulted the Ritz Carlton menu and they also offer lobster salad sandwiches, black forest ham and gruyere, a caramelized leek quiche, lemon poppyseed scones, champagne and a bunch of cakes i find uninteresting. To add any of these to your lovely menu would be guilding the lily, but it does provide food for thought.

Tell us how your party goes.

gilding...dear me.

R107 why what's wrong?

Greg, do you have any ideas for a dairy-free afternoon tea? I’m lactose intolerant, as are a couple of my friends. I think hosting a tea sounds fun.

Greg, marry me. I'll take you to Osteria Mozza and introduce you to my friend Nancy Silverton.

♥️♥️♥️

The problem is American Pumpernickel, which is inauthentic and weird.

I much prefer proper German Pumpernickel.

Depends on the bakery. Diamond in LA is my favorite - provides to Animal, Nate N Al, and a few Gelson's. The Jews know their bread.

[quote] Greg, marry me. I'll take you to Osteria Mozza and introduce you to my friend Nancy Silverton.

I would love to meet Nancy Silverton! What a kind offer!

[quote] Greg, do you have any ideas for a dairy-free afternoon tea? I’m lactose intolerant, as are a couple of my friends. I think hosting a tea sounds fun.

I'll give this some thought, R109.

Greg, I don't think it'd be a real English tea without some sort of cake. I propose a Welsh Seed Cake, a rich poundcake flavored with finely-chopped candied orange peel and caraway seeds. It is a classic and one of my very favorite cakes. Float me an invite and I'll bring one along.

OP, You are a wonderful host!

I don't know anyone who cuts sandwiches into circles with a biscuit cutter, and I wish I did. Greg, you have inspired me to cook fussier and be even more gay.

It's the cleanup that I hate.

[quote] Greg, I don't think it'd be a real English tea without some sort of cake. I propose a Welsh Seed Cake, a rich poundcake flavored with finely-chopped candied orange peel and caraway seeds. It is a classic and one of my very favorite cakes. Float me an invite and I'll bring one along.

I know, Bronzie, but given the circumstances, I am avoiding scones and cake. Please share your recipe! I have a bunch of chopped candied orange peel left over from making Christmas pudding.

[quote] OP, You are a wonderful host!

Awww! Thanks, R116! xx

[quote] I don't know anyone who cuts sandwiches into circles with a biscuit cutter, and I wish I did. Greg, you have inspired me to cook fussier and be even more gay.

Good for you, R117! Only do it if it's fun for you.

It sounds like a lovely spread Greg. I appreciate when someone goes to all this trouble; as my standard tea sandwiches are usually more simple. I don't bother taking the crusts off, but if I have guests, I use those small party loaves of bread. Pepperidge Farm makes several varieties. They're very easy to handle, and they look special enough.

R2 GAY FOOD IS THE BEST! What's your problem, you're on a gay forum after all.

For those wishing for stronger flavours, Greg's menu can be slightly altered to accommodate those who desire a bit more punch. Curry powder can be used in the egg salad; smoked trout and radish can sub for the salmon, (or horseradish cream); Rocket, Thyme, or Tarragon can be nice additions to a cucumber sandwich. I like to add just a touch of Ajinomoto (MSG) to the cream cheese, along with a pinch of freshly ground Coriander seed. The French sourced McCormick Pepper Medley grinder is perfect for these, as it contains Coriander, as well as a small quantity of Allspice.

OP you've inspired me to have a tea party in our garden this summer.

(Although should I be worried about bugs, heat and delicate sandwiches?)

I am going to try the cucumber and egg salad sandwiches they both sound delicous !

Another thing. If I were doing this I wouldn’t serve farmed salmon (most smoked salmon is farmed). I’d get wild Alaskan smoked salmon. But it’s a decent menu OP, especially assuming tea is being served.

I trust Greg to get wild smoked salmon just as I do every week. It's a delightful menu.

I’ll be bringing the party pack from Taco Bell. Does anybody else want anything from Jack-in-the-Box? Oops I guess I’m one of those gays that doesn’t stand around whipping things up in the kitchen like some woman

R126 = Ben Affleck

Some skills have nothing to do with gender.

Especially because most chefs are men.

This just goes to show that gay people are as diverse and complicated and different than every other group. I’d rather poke my eyes out with a knife than sit at some dinner party with a bunch of preppy asshole antique gays. That’s just me

R130 You're welcome to attend my version of this sleeping pill party.

[quote] I trust Greg to get wild smoked salmon just as I do every week. It's a delightful menu.

Yes, R124 & R125, I used Ducktrap Wild Sockeye Smoked Salmon. It was soooo good on the pumpernickel rounds with the cream cheese, lemon zest, and dill mixture.

[quote] This just goes to show that gay people are as diverse and complicated and different than every other group. I’d rather poke my eyes out with a knife than sit at some dinner party with a bunch of preppy asshole antique gays. That’s just me

Wow, what a coincidence, R130, I'm sure there are so many people who would rather poke out their own eyes rather than have you seated at their table. Curious why you say "preppy" and "antique." And why the assumption that people unlike you are assholes? You sound very fragile. Time to grow up and expand your beliefs and experiences.

[quote] [R130] You're welcome to attend my version of this sleeping pill party.

Sleeping pill party? It was some dear friends stopping by along with the parents of one of them. I wouldn't call it a party really. And are you so immature that you can't imagine a nice couple of hours spent conversing with friends? I guess you need to be constantly entertained. Are you medicated for your ADHD?

[quote] Oops I guess I’m one of those gays that doesn’t stand around whipping things up in the kitchen like some woman.

"Like some woman." Wow. Where to start. Well, like R129 said, most chefs in the world are men.

But more to the point, keep your misogynistic, childish, and stupid comments to yourself. You sound like you must be a really dumb bitch.

[quote] [R126] = Ben Affleck

R127, not even Ben Affleck is as much of an asshole as this guy.

Yesterday's tea went very well. It was simple and just the right thing for that time of day. I wish there was a way to show photos.

[quote] OP you've inspired me to have a tea party in our garden this summer. (Although should I be worried about bugs, heat and delicate sandwiches?)

Great! It's such a nice thing to do and I find that people really love having that lovely combination of very small sandwiches, some sweets, and some alcohol in the afternoon. I wish I had gotten some sherry yesterday, but Prosecco or Champagne are lovely. Regarding bugs and heat—if you really are concerned with bugs, you can get those mesh domes to place over the food. With regard to heat, just be sure not to leave food with mayonnaise out in the sun for long.

Have fun and report back!

I’m having some ladies over to my home tomorrow at 10 am for a bible study. I’m serving my homemade glazed donuts and coffee.

[quote] I’m having some ladies over to my home tomorrow at 10 am for a bible study. I’m serving my homemade glazed donuts and coffee.

That sounds lovely. You, however, sound like a jerk.

R140 I’ll add you to my prayer list.

I thought of your tea party and it how pleasant it must’ve been. That is the true way to bring peace to the world.

And I don’t get 126’s comments. Is it wrong to like to make good food, yet he sees nothing wrong with being critical of someone who does.

Glad it went well, thank you for letting us know.

I hate this fucking thread and I hate Greg.

I like Greg but he types fat.

Greg, your efforts are mostly wasted here. I'd find a gay cooking board group if I was you. I love being a cunty as the next person, but you are nice.

For.

Fuck's.

Sake.

Egg salad is a picnic sandwich. It is unacceptable at tea.

Cucumber and watercress is the correct filling. Dill is a salad condiment.

Smoked salmon is delicious. It is not a tea sandwich filling. It is a cocktails dish. Shrimp salad might be acceptable.

Would suggest thinly sliced ham with very thinly sliced boiled egg.

Crustless is standard, but there is no need to cut any of this into circles, etc.

Tea requires a cake or sweet. Lemon squares are delicious but a bit sticky and brownies are heavy and, if properly made, leave one covered in crumbs. A sliced lemon bundt or plain sponge cake is simple and good. (Some fresh strawberries served with lemon curd are nice but unnecessary).

And you need tea and coffee for those who prefer it. Champagne at 2 PM is frou-frou. If you absolutely need alcohol to make the situation bearable, put a splash of the Aperol or a fruit-based liqueur into lemonade or iced tea.

You're offering a repast that will not leave crumbs, fishy, eggy odors and bad breath or spoil the appetite for cocktails and dinner later.

Really, serve and eat whatever you like. But if you're going to eldergay, fucking eldergay. Don't yank everybody's blanket with brownies and Aperol.

r146, holy crap, Greg has met his match...thank you r,146

R146 is just what the doctor ordered. Take THAT, Gayg!

How are things in Pittsburgh, Matt?

...wait a minute, is Greg actually Nicolas Fairford??

I love the thought and effort Greg puts into every menu, but I think this one is a little bit recherché, you know? Egg salad on crustless white bread? Something a little less redolent of 1955 would be better. Also, eggs and fish are so smelly. Greg should put his thinking cap on and come up with a 21st century menu.

But, if you really want to be ironic, how about a spectacular angel food cake with ice cream and summer berries? Your guests wouldn't have seen that since their 8th birthday party.

>>>You aren't running a Jewish deli.

This really made me laugh.

The party has been given. Greg said his friends liked it. There is a remedy for having egg salad and nova scotia on your breath. It's called mouthwash.

We all have personal preferences. I love fresh berries and scones with lemon curd. That takes nothing away from Greg's menu. It does inspire me to do my own tea in my garden while my neighbors chow down on buffalo wings and beer.

You do you. Greg does Greg.

After the tea has been served I'm assuming the men will withdraw into the study for cigars and fudge packing while the ladies will titter over their tea and gossip about the new curate and how he's getting along so splendidly with the Vicar's visiting nephew Sheridan, down from Harvard for an end of the semester break before heading to Henley for the Regatta!

Living well is the best revenge.

Finally, a thread to celebrate all things twee and pretentious!

I love buttered grass!

i'm not sure how it's "twee and pretentious" to enjoy a delicious afternoon tea with friends with good food and conversation.

If you don't like it, hasten down to your local brewery/beer garden or make sure you are in your local bar at 6pm for a martini.

R152 - Hyacinth His neighbours - Onslow and Rose

R146, eat my ass with Devon cream

Afternoon tea isn't afternoon tea without scones.

R152, obviously.

The point is that Greg doesn't post as if his wat as A way to do things. He posts as if it is THE way to do things.

Not only is he pretty much invariably incorrect, he displays lack of basic knowledge.

Egg salad isn't a picnic sandwich because The Queen of Gay Sandwiches One Faire Day didst verily proclaim it such - it's a picnic sandwich because many people find the smell revolting and therefore it is offered outside where this is less apt to be an issue.

Bitters-based drinks such as Aperol are not served with food (outside of salted nuts and savories) because, although they stimulate appetite, they do not enhance flavors. They make most sweet things seem cloying, dull the flavor of meats and can intensify sour things to the point of unpleasantness.

Now, if you enjoy Aperol and chocolate brownies, by all means indulge. Serve them to guests if you like. But either admit this is a little bit unusual or drop the I-Got-This-Recipe-Off-Escoffier's-Tombstone routine.

Greg, do you use Pepperidge Farm Very Thin bread? That's what I always used for tea sandwiches. I am not sure if they still make it, but it was perfect.

R146 If you aren't cutting your tea sandwiches into circles then you are a lazy whore. Die bitch.

[quote] I wish there was a way to show photos.

R137, what about Imgur? You can show just the food, don't need to show the people (for privacy).

Egg sandwiches: I had afternoon tea at the Ritz-Carlton and they did serve egg sandwiches. Rounds of white bread (no crust), open-faced. It was more like a deviled egg, though, on top of the white round of bread. The white was intact. I do remember mayonnaise being involved. Very good.

None of this food is acceptable. Since most of you are wearing dentures how can you eat this stuff?

R130 Why not try both?

Greg….why don’t you make pickle bread??? FROM DILL DOUGH!!!

R164, if you slice a boiled egg but don't mash it up with the yolk, the "egg salad" smell is much less noticeable. The cooked egg white is what releases the sulfur smell - the less it is chopped or minced, the less odor is released.

Sliced egg is fine for tea sandwiches.

Giz uz a sausage roll luv ews the wankeh wid the buttees

Horse divers

[quote]Egg salad isn't a picnic sandwich because The Queen of Gay Sandwiches One Faire Day didst verily proclaim it such - it's a picnic sandwich because many people find the smell revolting and therefore it is offered outside where this is less apt to be an issue.

Egg salad isn't a picnic sandwich because it spoils easily in hot weather and the bacteria can make you sick.

R171, that's what coolers are for.

They know about the prunes and that’s why it’s tea.

They set boundaries because they love you.

Did Greg die?

King, Coho, or Sockeye smoked salmon.? Better not be a chum or a humpy

Greg, no biscuits or scones?

This thread has inspired me to create a tea menu for this weekend, as we will be entertaining two couples in the afternoon before all going out.

Tea and coffee

Cucumber & watercress sandwiches

Virginia ham and chive cream cheese sandwiches

Sliced boiled egg and avocado sandwiches

Shrimp and celery salad sandwiches

Orange Bundt cake

Ginger-pecan biscuits

Miniature scones with local organic butter and choice of rhubarb jam, pineapple marmalade or lemon curd

Marrons glacés

Turkish delight

Candied ginger for the green tea

Can't seem to find clotted cream, unfortunately, but the local farm-stand butter is delicious.

r177 my friend and I did a mini-tea a couple months back and she was able to find clotted cream at Whole Foods. Might check there.

Thanks, R178! Will check.

A nice cuppa and some chocolate Mc Vitties for me. Oh dear i seem to ave forgot me purse. Blimey.

That looks lovely, R177. It's a lot of food!

[quote] Greg, no biscuits or scones?

No, I considered it but didn't want this to be too heavy. They came at 2:00 and were coming from lunch.

I do have the best scone recipe, however.

[quote] Did Greg die?

Not that I know of.

[quote] my friend and I did a mini-tea a couple months back and she was able to find clotted cream at Whole Foods. Might check there.

Yes, you can often find jars of clotted cream at WF. It's near the crème fraîche.

[quote] They know about the prunes and that’s why it’s tea. They set boundaries because they love you.

Okay fuck off, R173,

[quote] [R164], if you slice a boiled egg but don't mash it up with the yolk, the "egg salad" smell is much less noticeable. The cooked egg white is what releases the sulfur smell - the less it is chopped or minced, the less odor is released.

Honestly, this was a small group and I made a modest amount of egg salad (4 eggs) and there was no smell at all. It's like people who say they don't like to cook fish at home because it makes the house smell like fish. The house should NOT smell like fish! Something is wrong if it does. Same thing with egg salad. If you hard cook the eggs properly and then let them chill in iced water for 15 minutes, there should not be a problem.

[quote] Greg….why don’t you make pickle bread??? FROM DILL DOUGH!!!

Oh, I would have R167, but I couldn't get my dill dough away from your mother.

[quote] Greg, do you use Pepperidge Farm Very Thin bread? That's what I always used for tea sandwiches. I am not sure if they still make it, but it was perfect.

Yes, I did use Pepperidge Farm Very Thin Bread (the whole wheat version). They still make it. I also used potato bread which is lovely, and pumpernickel bread for the smoked salmon.

Can I come?

Gregg is actually Nicolas Fairford!

R189, silence, slave!

R187, it's funny how you alternate between 63 years old and around a not-very-bright 12.

Setting aside my opinion about the relative pretentiousness of this offering, the primary job of a good host is the make the guests feel comfortable and at ease.

This offering does not scream "welcome to my home and come enjoy some refreshment with me."

Of course, HOW it's served could alter that perception. But, I'm envisioning tiers of plates and silver placed just so on a table that's decorated like the queen is coming for tea.

I skimmed the thread, but did not see how this event actually went. I'm curious to hear how it was received.

R193, they loved it. Mrs. Ogslander-Stuyvesant-Fishpaw III, 666 Fifth Avenue (PH), was so impressed, she dropped her lorgnette.

R177 here - skipping the egg & avocado sandwiches - it's too hard to time the ripeness of the avocado.

Greg at R181, I have allowed for the equivalent of four finger sandwiches per person; three scones (they're about two-bite size), two small slices of cake (the cake is miniature as well) and everything else is simply on plates to be eaten as desired. Always easy enough to put Turkish Delight back in the box.

No flowers or decorations and strictly Roosevelt china. I actually don't object to towers as a space-saving device, but don't own one.

Greg a couple of questions:

Since you are in Boston, do you know Ming Tsai? Host of "Simply Ming"?

Also, how come you never share pictures of your dishes! I am sure we would all benefit!

FUDGE??? We are salivating!

Sounds so very twee. I prefer boozier get togethers. It's hard to get sloshed on Aperol spritzes.

R198 right? Keep the vodka flowing! Splash of Martini and 2 olives 🫒 KEEP THRM COMING

I was about to ask R199 if he usually starts drinking before 5 PM but I think I have my answer.

Serving tray for r198 r199.

[quote] Can't seem to find clotted cream, unfortunately, but the local farm-stand butter is delicious.

R177, if you can't find clotted cream, IMO, mascarpone is a good substitution.

R202, thank you - I wouldn't have thought about that!

Greg at three am, huddled under the covers, squirting cheese onto saltines.

OP - Don't forget presentation!

I hate cucumber so it'd be a miss for me.

Where's the Tea?

R200, it’s not 5PM and I’m as sober as a judge!

Haha r207

I met Ming Tsai at a cooking show years ago and thought he was a hunka hunka burning love.

Met Alton Brown and Emeril Lagazzi at the same food show. Pass.

r211 was Alton Brown as nerdy and sarcastic as he appears on cooking shows?

Not sarcastic. Very nerdy and ill at ease because five people showed up to hear him. He was demonstrating how to make a dehydrator out of a large bux fan and heater filters attached to the fan with a bungie cord. You were supposed to insert marinated meat between the filters and run the fan until the meat dried out into beef jerky. Putting the fan against the window was supposed to carry the smell of dehydrating meat outside. This was at least ten years ago and it's possible that he changed a lot.

Make that box fan.

Alton Brown pings, IMO. He made a big deal out of getting married ... to a woman. Then, the woman morphed into a lesbian. Yes, that's his wife in this video.

If you don't overcook hard boiled eggs, they don't smell.

Yes, and I’m not not high, too, r216. Also

R217 I don't get it

I love this thread and the recipes.

I think an Indian Chai Tea would be quite delicious.

Menu

Beverages: Hot Chai, Sweet Lassi, Mango Lassi (Lassi is a yogurt-based beverage served cold.)

Savories: Vegetable Samosas (Savory Fried Pastries with Potato and Pea Filling), Papadum (Lentil Crackers) with Tamarind Chutney Tandoori Chicken Skewers, Kabuli Naan (Flat Bread with Raisins and Cashews), Onion Kulcha with Chole (Round Leavened Wheat Bread with Chickpea Curry

Additional Condiments: Green Chutney, Raita (Savory Yogurt with Shredded Cucumbers)

Sweets: Gulab Jamun (Round Dumplings Soaked in Syrup), Keer (Indian Rice Pudding. Serve this delicious and healthy treat in small individual cups or bowls.), Gajar Ka Halwa (Pakastani-Style Carrot Pudding)

r220 I LOVE this idea!

We could expand this...maybe a Japanese-inspired tea luncheon sans the long, drawn out ceremony.

Sounds lovely, Greg. I'm sure your guests will be delighted.

Thanks for the recipes too. I'm going to try all of them.

Alrightie, now that you've worked out the menu in such scrupulous detail...

Is there any chance you'll be washing your fetid lady parts and changing your dirty caftan?

Now your guests, will they be great big fat people like you?

Do you have the space and electrical capacity to recharge more than one rascal scooter if your guest should require this?

"Great, we're exhausted from the road and you're going to make us stop in and see your big fat pretentious gay friend who wears those dirty caftans and has all those cats."

At least he's not making orange olive oil cat hair cake.

#smalltownteaparty

I’ll just have Prosecco thanks. Next time spring for real champagne 🍾

This thread has me hot for clotted cream.

It makes a great mankini, R229

r231 if you have about 20 hours, you can make your own relatively easily. Recipe below.

They sell it at Gelson's in CA, it's $8 a jar. I buy it for my mom.

R177, where are you going to get marrons glacés at this time of year? I usually only see them around Christmas season. Love them!

R227. Lolololololol

R233, I order them online. They're expensive, but a pet indulgence.

Love 'em.

R235, where do you order your marrons glacés from? They were a favorite of Queen Victoria.

[quote] "Great, we're exhausted from the road and you're going to make us stop in and see your big fat pretentious gay friend who wears those dirty caftans and has all those cats."

R226, you are ridiculous.

[quote] Now your guests, will they be great big fat people like you?

Oh no. They are not nearly as fat as I am.

[quote] Sounds lovely, Greg. I'm sure your guests will be delighted. Thanks for the recipes too. I'm going to try all of them.

You're welcome! Let us know how they come out!

[quote] I love this thread and the recipes.

Thanks, R219.

[quote] OP - Don't forget presentation!

I did not forget! I had the sandwiches and lemon squares & brownies on a three tier stand. The sandwiches were dipped (only on one of the short sides) in chopped Italian parsley or chopped chives (after having put a light spread of mayonnaise so that the parsley/chives would stick. The lemon squares and brownies were cut into 1.5" squares and dusted with powdered sugar. It looked lovely.

[quote] Sounds so very twee. I prefer boozier get togethers. It's hard to get sloshed on Aperol spritzes.

Sorry, R198, this was 2:00 p.m. and we're not all alcoholics.

[quote] Keep the vodka flowing! Splash of Martini and 2 olives 🫒 KEEP THRM COMING

R199, I love a bracingly cold martini as much as anyone—though I prefer a real martini, made with gin, a splash of dry vermouth, two dashes of orange bitters, and an olive—but one doesn't drink martinis at tea.

[quote] Greg a couple of questions: Since you are in Boston, do you know Ming Tsai? Host of "Simply Ming"? Also, how come you never share pictures of your dishes! I am sure we would all benefit!

Hi, R196! I have met Ming Tsai at a party and also at Blue Ginger (when it was still open in Wellesley), but it would be inaccurate to say that I "know" him. His wife's name is Polly, which I find very amusing.

I would love to share pictures of my dishes, but have to figure out how to do that.

Ming is a hottie. We were both born in the same hospital in Newport Beach, and his family briefly either owned or ran a very good Chinese restaurant nearby before they moved to Ohio.

Never heard this version before. Thank you R88

Whoops wrong thread

[quote] Setting aside my opinion about the relative pretentiousness of this offering, the primary job of a good host is the make the guests feel comfortable and at ease. This offering does not scream "welcome to my home and come enjoy some refreshment with me." Of course, HOW it's served could alter that perception. But, I'm envisioning tiers of plates and silver placed just so on a table that's decorated like the queen is coming for tea. I skimmed the thread, but did not see how this event actually went. I'm curious to hear how it was received.

R193, at R137 I said it went well.

I am well aware of the duties of a good host and can assure you that my guests felt comfortable and at ease...they're my friends after all. You saying the my "offering" does not scream welcome to my home is bullshit. They felt very much welcomed and at home. Why do you think that feeding my guests some nice food wouldn't make them feel welcomed? If I went to someone's house and they made an effort to make me some nice food in a nice environment, I think I would feel very welcome. You must be a horrible guest. Just because you envision something that is over the top, doesn't make it so.

If you're truly interested, we sat out on my sunporch, had some fun conversation, and there was a three tier silver tray with some sandwiches and sweets. Nothing was set or decorated. Just my sun porch and some linen luncheon napkins and small white plates. You should get over yourself.

Oh, and they sent the most beautiful white orchid on Monday as a thank you. We had a really nice couple of hours together.

[quote] Gregg is actually Nicolas Fairford!

Not even close. He makes my skin crawl.

R243, no.

One does not drink martinis at tea.

One drinks tea, which you did not serve.

This is not a menu for afternoon tea.

It is "light refreshments".

[quote] I hate this fucking thread and I hate Greg.

Well, boo-hoo for you, R143. Have you thought of blocking me? How dumb you are.

Now get lost.

[quote] One does not drink martinis at tea. One drinks tea, which you did not serve. This is not a menu for afternoon tea. It is "light refreshments".

Get over yourself. No one wanted hot tea. Two people had iced tea and the rest of us had Prosecco.

This certainly was a menu for afternoon tea.

R146, all I can say is you are full of shit. Seriously.

Brownies and Aperol are not a menu for afternoon tea.

But I look forward to hearing all about your midnight brunch where you served that well-known salad, Floating Island.

[quote] [R146], holy crap, Greg has met his match...thank you r,146

That is very funny. No, R146 is not even close to my match. He's wrong on many counts. But I do think he deserves you.

Mmmm...ile flottante. Merci, r254.

[quote] Brownies and Aperol are not a menu for afternoon tea. But I look forward to hearing all about your midnight brunch where you served that well-known salad, Floating Island.

You're wrong. Sorry. It was all delicious, appreciated, attractively presented, and luckily no one as rude as you was in attendance.

Not sure why you're talking about midnight brunch and île flottante. Are you in need of help?

Greg, I am in no mood to list my various culinary bonafides. Suffice it to say, you want the classic definition of afternoon tea, then Aperol and brownies and no tea are not it.

Just call it what is and you'll sound somewhat slightly less like Hyacinth Bucket.

[quote] I love the thought and effort Greg puts into every menu, but I think this one is a little bit recherché, you know? Egg salad on crustless white bread? Something a little less redolent of 1955 would be better. Also, eggs and fish are so smelly. Greg should put his thinking cap on and come up with a 21st century menu. But, if you really want to be ironic, how about a spectacular angel food cake with ice cream and summer berries? Your guests wouldn't have seen that since their 8th birthday party.

R151, while I admire your use of the word 'recherché' I have to disagree. I love egg salad. There was nothing 'smelly' about either the egg salad or the smoked salmon. I liked this menu.

I have no interest in being ironic. And I don't happen to like angel food cake with ice cream and summer berries. I did serve summer berries, however.

[quote] Greg, I am in no mood to list my various culinary bonafides. Suffice it to say, you want the classic definition of afternoon tea, then Aperol and brownies and no tea are not it. Just call it what is and you'll sound somewhat slightly less like Hyacinth Bucket.

Eldergay, you bore me. I called it afternoon tea because it was afternoon tea. End of story. If anyone sounds like Hyacinth Bucket, it's you. And I mean that. Why are you so concerned with sharing your silly opinions?

^^^The irony.

[quote] [R187], it's funny how you alternate between 63 years old and around a not-very-bright 12.

I am 55 years old. If a twelve year old wrote like this, I would consider him very bright. Anyway, I'm glad you were amused. You do sound simple, however.

"Afternoon tea" means something quite specific. If you don't have tea, then that's not what you're serving.

Are you going to make Pancakes Barbara and tell your dinner guests it's Steak Diane?

Here is an actual menu for afternoon tea.

Cherry tarts

Custard creme cookies

Pineapple marmalade on hot buttered toast

Roast turkey and cress sandwiches

Homemade toffee squares

Tea

Points if you get the reference.

I kind of like the old-fashioned gayness of these threads

*What music (if any) do you play at these get togethers, Greg, if I may ask?

[quote] Points if you get the reference.

I do not.

[quote] *What music (if any) do you play at these get togethers, Greg, if I may ask?

Hi, R265. As I said at R59, sometimes Pink Martini on Sonos. Or Planet Lounge, or a station called "The Jazz Standards Radio." It also depends on who is coming and what I think they will like. My friend's parents love Carly Simon and also the Spinners, so I had those stations playing from Sonos.

Maybe it's not officially tea without the hot tea, but it is still mostly food served at a tea. Many of the places I go now offer a glass of Champagne as well, which certainly wasn't the case back in the day.

R267 - Thanks - sorry, I didn't see that you already answered.

R266 Pancakes Barbara is a reference to the film The Women (1939) I believe.

Pancakes Barbara

[quote] Maybe it's not officially tea without the hot tea, but it is still mostly food served at a tea. Many of the places I go now offer a glass of Champagne as well, which certainly wasn't the case back in the day.

Exactly, R268. I've usually had sherry or Champagne at teas I've attended.

[quote]where do you order your marrons glacés from? They were a favorite of Queen Victoria.

Mary! One of the most pretentious comment in the history of DL.

[quote]The sandwiches are small and not particularly heavy

Unlike yourself or any of your "guests".

Were you able to hear each other well-enough to make conversation over the roar of your rascal scooters?

How does your wife feel about you taking charge of the Afternoon Teas?

During the conversation portion of your Tea, did you tell them the story about how you were anally probed by aliens?

How do your friends dress for your teas?

[quote]r29 If someone wants tea, I'll make it, but I'm sure that they will be happy with Prosecco or lemonade.

You think you’re very clever, don’t you? Trying to sweep the poor little teabag under the carpet?

Well, THINK AGAIN!

Is it rude to wear a vibrating butt plug to an Afternoon Tea?

And does the Bluetooth connection interfere with any of the guests hearing aids?

As a follow-up to r276, Greg, do you think that you could spend more time with your kids, who since you’re 55 could easily still be in the house, rather than “entertaining” “friends” “fancily”? Teenagers need a lot of a support and guidance, from both parents, and based on your output on this board I can’t imagine you have much time for them. Do they know that you’re interested in them? Are you a grandfather yet? Do you help out with the grandkids if so?

Greg thank you for sharing the menu and recipes. It sounds lovely. I live just north of Boston and recently found clotted cream at Wegmans. I bought some and put it on homemade pound cake and it was delicious.

I had never heard of aperol spritz before and it sounds delicious.

R270 is correct about Pancakes Barbara, but the tea menu at R263 references a literary classic.

[quote] where do you order your marrons glacés from? They were a favorite of Queen Victoria. Mary! One of the most pretentious comment in the history of DL.—Oh, Were You a Friend of our late Queen Too?

R273, give me a break. Someone on here mentioned how much he likes marrons glacés (two people, in fact). I want to try them, so I asked where he orders his from. And anyone who watched "Victoria" on Masterpiece will know that marrons glacés are mentioned several times as a favorite of Victoria.

So, I wasn't being at all pretentious. Sorry to disappoint.

[quote] How does your wife feel about you taking charge of the Afternoon Teas?

If I'm being honest, she really loves it. She makes sure the bar is stocked to my specifications, spit polishes the guest bath, and runs the Dyson while I am separating crusts from bread and dusting lemon squares & brownies with confectioners sugar.

[quote] As a follow-up to [R276], Greg, do you think that you could spend more time with your kids, who since you’re 55 could easily still be in the house, rather than “entertaining” “friends” “fancily”? Teenagers need a lot of a support and guidance, from both parents, and based on your output on this board I can’t imagine you have much time for them. Do they know that you’re interested in them? Are you a grandfather yet? Do you help out with the grandkids if so?

R281, you ask all the right questions. The children are long out of the house. So, I hope you'll grant me your blessing to "entertain" "friends" "fancily."

You sound like one crazy bitch, R281.

Yes, we have grandchildren but they live out of state. They come here a few times a year, and we visit them as well.

[quote] Greg thank you for sharing the menu and recipes. It sounds lovely. I live just north of Boston and recently found clotted cream at Wegmans. I bought some and put it on homemade pound cake and it was delicious.

Thank you, R282. I grew up just north of Boston—where do you live? Medford?

Wegmans is great.

Dear Greg,

I write this as an admirer. You have given me some excellent recipes but more importantly (for me) your cleaning tips have pushed me to up my game -- and I keep a clean house. So I must ask: are you in fact a heterosexual male? Because I would have said it would be statistically impossible for a heterosexual male to have four different spray bottles for housecleaning: "I keep four spray bottles for all my cleaning: one containing water with a very small amount of bleach (great for bathroom sinks, toilets, and kitchen sink if I am working with chicken); another with Pine-Sol and water that I use for counters and general bathroom cleaning; another one with white vinegar and water for cleaning mirrors and windows; and lastly, one with equal parts Dawn blue dishwashing liquid and white vinegar for cleaning showers, tubs, and bathroom tile."

I'm guessing from his most recent he is in a lavender marriage and the wife turns a blind eye to his caftans and crustless sandwiches.

Or, you know, someone is signing in as Greg who is not actually Greg.

I love pussy. Can’t get enough.

TITS, TITS, TITS!

Dear R288,

No, I am 100% gay.

And I'm glad you've enjoyed my cleaning tips!

Just pointing out how crazy R281 is.

Gots to have me some of that poontang, baby!

(as soon as I finish my Afternoon Tea and cleaning all this filth)

So why is R146 "wrong on many counts", Greg?

Just curious, Greg: Why not sign with a verified name to avoid all the fake "Greg" posts?

BTW, I also stitched up a beautiful little fitted sundress for my wife to wear to the Afternoon Tea.

Poor thing, she has no sense of style and I have to handle all of her clothing and accessories.

But just a couple of hours with some leftover Chintz fabric...et voila!...a silk purse from a Sow's ear.

What fake Greg posts?

I poured hot spiced rum into the tea.

Having first poured out the tea.

It wash delish!!

My wife really does have huge Jugs, and I know how to accentuate them with my superb design and sewing skills.

(But poor thing has hands like a longshoreman, I wouldn't dare let her handle my good china..."You just drink from that plastic tumbler, dear".)

[quote] Just curious, Greg: Why not sign with a verified name to avoid all the fake "Greg" posts?

Because, R296, I just don't want to. People who know me can tell what I write and what isn't me. If others want to act like immature children, so be it.

Seriously though, I loves me some pussy!

Got to go, my wife is ready to peg me.

For those of you homosexuals who are interested...

I went through a very successful Gay Conversion program years ago!

(I had some minor homosexual tendencies and Mother thought it was best to nip it in the bud...so to speak.)

I'll be glad to tell you all the details sometime if you're interested...

But "ta-ta" for now, my wife and I have "bidness in the bedroom"!

I see, so now I'm the married gay guy who loves prunes.

So be it. Have fun, everyone!

Marrons Glaces look disgusting. And to those saying Queen Victoria liked them… that cow Vicky never met a food she didn’t like.

What!? No Flamin' Hot Cheetos? Fuck that shit!

I think they look delicious!

Mashed prune with extra virgin olive oil makes divine lube!

R307 = Julian Morris

And off Greg scampers without addressing his rebuttal at R146.

I WILL NOT BE IGNORED, GREG!!!

Wouldn’t it be simpler to order one of those sandwiches-by-the-foot from Subway or somewhere? Everyone loves them.

Dear [R288], No, I am 100% gay. And I'm glad you've enjoyed my cleaning tips! —Greg

My world has stabilized. The anti-Greg troll is at once unhinged and tiresome. The internet seems to magnify psychosis, unfortunately. Shame you can't give tips on how to make my husband clean or cook but some things are beyond human powers.

Is Greg a bottom or power bottom?

Thanks for asking r314. Power if you must know.

[quote] Thanks for asking [R314]. Power if you must know.

R315 was not me.

Greg,

If you were catering the Kardashian wedding, what would you serve?

r316 was not me.

Greg, I wish we were friends in real life, you sound like my people. Except I think I would disappoint you and I would be embarrassed by my messy house and sad cooking.

If I were catering the Kardashian wedding, I'd prepare a lasagna bar, with a selection of elegant dishes. The keys to a successful lasagne are goat cheese and olives. Of course, I'd serve Prosecco.

One key thing is missing from this menu: Our Finest Brunch Coat

[quote] If I were catering the Kardashian wedding, I'd prepare a lasagna bar, with a selection of elegant dishes. The keys to a successful lasagne are goat cheese and olives. Of course, I'd serve Prosecco.

Obviously I did not write that. Aside from the fact that it sounds terrible, I'd never serve Prosecco with lasagna.

Oh Good God Greg, you aren’t trying to have a Salon, you are just having friends in for a simple 2pm visit and your menu is perfection. Very loving, I’d say. Don’t the Heathens here know anything? As well, bag the wine, add tea. set call for 4pm, your menu is a classic Afternoon Tea. Very Fortnum & Mason, Bloomsbury and Back Bay. It takes taste to serve as you do.

Greg, very close! Malden, actually. :)

[quote] Greg, very close! Malden, actually. :)

R282, I was born there, as were my parents and one of my grandparents. We moved to Melrose when I was six. I went to high school in Malden (private).

Egg salad looks like smegma on a plate.

Enjoying the thread, Greg. I love the recipes and menu suggestions. Please keep it up!

Egg salad is something you eat in private.

How Greg's guests enjoyed the egg salad.

Why an 'English' cucumber, Greg? Will you be playing them the new Harry Styles album as they eat?

I think Greg is a fraud. Pics or it didn't happen. It's not that hard to post them. Just the food, platters, tiers. No faces or caftans.

[quote] Why an 'English' cucumber, Greg? Will you be playing them the new Harry Styles album as they eat?

Very amusing, R330.

English cucumbers are generally sweeter than the regular, common cucumber which has a tough outer skin, many large seeds, and a bitter flavor. By contrast, the English cucumber is long, thin, and straight and does not need to be peeled. A typical English cucumber is around 14 inches long—often twice the length of a regular slicing cucumber. The interior of an English cucumber is a light green studded with very tiny seeds in the center. Because the skin is delicate and easily torn or nicked, which opens the door for mold, it will almost always be packaged in shrink wrap to protect it. English cucumbers are preferred by most chefs over common cucumbers for their edible skin and tiny seeds.

[quote] I think Greg is a fraud. Pics or it didn't happen. It's not that hard to post them. Just the food, platters, tiers. No faces or caftans.

Well, R331, you can fuck off. The typical reply of a DL asshole: "pics or it didn't happen."

Frankly, I don't care about you. I had guests to my house and made some very simple food for them. You don't believe that? I really couldn't care less.

[quote] Egg salad is something you eat in private.

Wrong.

[quote] Egg salad looks like smegma on a plate.

You look like smegma on a plate.

[quote] Enjoying the thread, Greg. I love the recipes and menu suggestions. Please keep it up!

Thanks, PoisonedDragon! I have no intention of stopping!

[quote] Oh Good God Greg, you aren’t trying to have a Salon, you are just having friends in for a simple 2pm visit and your menu is perfection. Very loving, I’d say. Don’t the Heathens here know anything? As well, bag the wine, add tea. set call for 4pm, your menu is a classic Afternoon Tea. Very Fortnum & Mason, Bloomsbury and Back Bay. It takes taste to serve as you do.

R323, thank you! You're right. People here get so wound up about minutiae. I had some close friends stop by on a Sunday afternoon and I offered them sandwiches and lemon squares and brownies. Frankly, I find it both amusing and annoying.

[quote] Greg, I wish we were friends in real life, you sound like my people. Except I think I would disappoint you and I would be embarrassed by my messy house and sad cooking.

Awww, R319, that's sweet of you to say. Where do you live? I'd help you come up with a plan to organize and clean your house. Maybe you just don't enjoy cooking?

Greg, I’ve tried the round cookie cutter on a blueberry square recipe (after baking as directed) and it seems to crush them. What’s your secret for avoiding that with sandwiches? Is it a specific brand of cutter?

I do have to agree with the poster who said aperol is far too bitter/strong and will compete with the other flavours. But sounds like it all went wonderfully. Greg could please you share your lemon square recipe?

[quote] Greg, I’ve tried the round cookie cutter on a blueberry square recipe (after baking as directed) and it seems to crush them. What’s your secret for avoiding that with sandwiches? Is it a specific brand of cutter?

Hi, R339! Is your biscuit plastic or stainless-steel? I suggest purchasing a good set of stainless-steel biscuit cutters. And, don't twist the cutter when you press down—just go straight down.

Thanks that’s great!

And still no rebuttal to R146 or R161.

Lined out?

[quote] I do have to agree with the poster who said aperol is far too bitter/strong and will compete with the other flavours.

Strong flavors that compete with one another is the hallmark of a Greg recipe.

Avoiding rebuttals is the hallmark of Greg's life.

"Strong flavors that compete with one another is the hallmark of a Greg recipe."

This is also called "not knowing how to cook".

Greg owes *us* nothing. He owes his wife and his kids more than he could ever repay.

Particularly his daughter Portia. Did you know she wasn't named after the car?

Greg, a small point … many here look to you, so as you are going to post, you should get it right. You persist in your post you did an Afternoon Tea. Check your books you rely on for your style and presentation. You had people in at 2pm You had no tea. Your menu is near-classic, listed in every book on tea or how to do a proper tea party but serving it at your gathering does not make an Afternoon Tea. Tea, often a choice of leaves, sandwiches, scones, sweets, at 4pm make a proper Afternoon Tea.

Smoked salmon? Brownies? And egg salad is a lazy Americanism.

Yeah, nah.

I like to serve the egg salad, so my guests blame it for the smell when I fart silently into my couch cushions.

You disgusting animals don't know how to appreciate my superior entertaining skills.

Greg, small world! I believe we went to the same high school then. Go Lancers! I was class of '90.

Really, how nice.

I "knew" some of the members of your Class...before my Gay Conversion therapy.

But I now banish those lewd thought from my head and focus entirely on entertaining and maintaining my lovely home with my beautiful wife.

Greg/r354, how big is your penis? So sexy.

I'm a bottom.

[quote]Is your biscuit plastic or stainless-steel?

My "biscuit" is neither...it is moist and delicious...and infinitely desirable

You know those adorable little gherkins, R355?

Semen is the best topping for tea cakes. So unexpected, and your guests will love the salty funk.

Plus Ultra, R282/R353.

Favorite memories of 99 Crystal Street?

[quote] You know those adorable little gherkins, [R355]?

You mean cornichons?

[quote] Greg/[R354], how big is your penis? So sexy.

Bigger than yours I imagine, R355.

[quote] Really, how nice. I "knew" some of the members of your Class...before my Gay Conversion therapy. But I now banish those lewd thought from my head and focus entirely on entertaining and maintaining my lovely home with my beautiful wife.

R354, how long have you been such an immature asshole? Just curious.

Greg, I live next to the town you grew up in, other side of the Fellsway

[quote] Greg, small world! I believe we went to the same high school then. Go Lancers! I was class of '90.

I was class of '85.

We may have had some of the same teachers....Angela Lee for English; Christina Johnson for Spanish; Bro. Dan Cremin/Barry Haley for phys ed. Look how Barry has changed...

[quote] Smoked salmon? Brownies? And egg salad is a lazy Americanism. Yeah, nah.

Yeah, fuck off, R351.

Greg is grayed out

[quote] "Strong flavors that compete with one another is the hallmark of a Greg recipe." This is also called "not knowing how to cook".

Yeah, okay. I think I've been cooking long enough and have made a comfortable living doing so, that your opinion means absolutely nothing to me.

Please feel free to send examples of some of my recipes that have "strong flavors that compete with one another." I bet you cannot.

A "hallmark of a Greg recipe" —‚I can't stop laughing!

[quote] Greg is grayed out

Maybe to you, R367!

[quote] Greg, I live next to the town you grew up in, other side of the Fellsway

R364, Winchester? I grew up in Melrose/Wakefield but went to high school in Malden.

[quote] Avoiding rebuttals is the hallmark of Greg's life.

R346, I cannot be bothered rebutting such ridiculous claims. But I'm glad you think you know me so well. I also think that most people on DL would not agree at all with your claim that I avoid rebuttals. Actually, most of the time I love rebutting. You really sound like a loser.

Have a nice day!

[quote] And still no rebuttal to [R146] or [R161].

No need. Neither is worthy.

Actually, Greg, it's because R146 and R161 are correct and you're not.

[quote] Actually, Greg, it's because [R146] and [R161] are correct and you're not.

Actually, R373, that is not the case at all. But thanks for sharing.

Until you give reasons why, Greg, you are full of shit.

[quote] Until you give reasons why, Greg, you are full of shit.

Whatever you say. You don't really want reasons, so get lost.

I'm waiting, Greg.

It should be simple. You food expert, you.

[quote] I'm waiting, Greg. It should be simple. You food expert, you.

Wait all you like! And, yes, it would be very simple.

It's funny how people get so agitated about food! Calling me a "food expert." Whatever you say!

If it's simple, then do it.

Or are you just a painfully insecure culinary scold with fewer taste buds than brain cells?

Inquiring minds, etc.

No wonder why they want shut the DL down..

[Quote] Greg is grayed out

All are lined out.

My bussy hurts today, so no more posts for now boys. Don't worry, I'm planning my next fabulous dinner party. Wonderful food of the Fifties, guests in costume.

Casseroles, Mamie's fudge, Caftans!

Greg, def small world. I had Ms. McGuane, the other English teacher. and I took french with Madame Roberts! I haven't though of Bro Cremin in years, also Mr. Haley. Hard to believe that was so long ago. And Sr. Maureen taught religion, she seemed like a sweet nun but I guess she could be feisty. One time we had a long term sub (a someone new and young teacher) for french class, one of my classmates (Italian jock type) would flirt with her outrageously. I lusted after him all term.

I think there may be someone else in the thread from our area, to keep things less confusing I'll sign as my authenticated self.

Hi MacFound! Very small world indeed!

Yes, Martha McGuane and Barbara Roberts! Was Bro. D. Stephen there when you were? I had him for Western Civ and he was also the Athletic Director. Bro. Kevin Kenny was the freshman guidance counselor. Was Bro. Jim Field there in administration? He ended up becoming a priest. Now they have a girls school!

One of my memories was being outside for gym class and smelling the shrimp from the shrimp factory across the street. Good times!

JFC, take this boring convo to Facebook gurls.

[quote] take this boring convo to Facebook gurls.

Come on, R385, show a little patience.

Rut-ro, R385 is jealous Greg has friends from his home town.

Other than posting a recipe containing prunes and cods, I don't see why Greg is so troublesome for datalounge.

[quote] Other than posting a recipe containing prunes and cods, I don't see why Greg is so troublesome for datalounge.

Thank you, R388. I don't understand it either.

The cod, tomato, and prune recipe is delicious. If someone would actually make it and report back, I'd be so happy.

I think it's just that there are a lot of not so nice people out here.

[quote] My bussy hurts today, so no more posts for now boys. Don't worry, I'm planning my next fabulous dinner party. Wonderful food of the Fifties, guests in costume. Casseroles, Mamie's fudge, Caftans!

R382 is delusional. Why, you ask?

1) My bussy feels just fine, thank you.

2) I have a heavy posting line-up for tonight.

3) I have no upcoming dinner party planned.

4) Food of the fifties? ‚— NO

5) Costumes? — NO

6) Casseroles? — NO

7) Mamie's Fudge? — NO

8) Caftans? — NO

9) Again, my bussy is in fine fettle.

probably the same reason many can't stand the flamboyant queens in tv and film and on the social media, it's not the queens themselves, it's the stereotype they dislike.

Greg’s posts read pretty butch to me. However, that could be confirmation bias as a result of the wife revelation.

[quote] Greg’s posts read pretty butch to me. However, that could be confirmation bias as a result of the wife revelation.

I am pretty butch, I'd say. But not excessively so.

I have no wife. I am 100% 'mo.

[quote] I am pretty butch, I'd say. But not excessively so.

^

Haha, R394!

R395 I thought Gregory was more polite than some of his responses lately.

Perhaps he’s dipping into the cooking sherry.

It happens.

Greg, small world indeed! I took the bus to school and once in a while Ms. Roberts would drive by and give me a ride. Unthinkable now of course. I really liked her.

Bro D was around but I did not ever have him as a teacher. Was he history? I had Bro Britt, and while he was not always liked by my classmates I grew to respect him. Bro Kevin was the freshman guidance counselor, as I learned he didn't do any advising but reminisced about Red Sox games. I think he retired soon after. I don't remember a Bro Jim. One of my biggest memories was when Cardinal Law came to celebrate Mass, it was such a big deal leading up to it, and then he gave us a vacation day (I am not Catholic).

Is there a direct message function on this site that you two school mates can participate in? The rest of us are bored to tears. This thread was entertaining before the school teacher frau namedropping started . No shitz given about your physEd instructor from 45 years ago. Let’s get back to more interesting things like what sort of icing Gregory prefers on his cakes.

I’m still struggling with not having afternoon tea at a so-called afternoon tea, and serving sandwiches to people who Op says were arriving after being out to lunch.

But Greg is so proud of his "private school". He's the first to go Catholic, you know.

[quote] I’m still struggling with not having afternoon tea at a so-called afternoon tea, and serving sandwiches to people who Op says were arriving after being out to lunch.

Well, if it would please all of you here, I was wrong. I misrepresented my time with friends. There was no tea. Just sandwiches, unspeakably delicious lemon squares and brownies. Oh, and Prosecco.

[quote] But Greg is so proud of his "private school". He's the first to go Catholic, you know.

R401, you sound like a lovely but bitter person. It is a private school and I don't recall saying how proud I am of it.

Finding the internet amusing today, Nordic Ware is posting Afternoon Tea in the Garden, pushing lime-glazed shortened cookies, savory ham and cheese crepes with apricot jam, strawberry scones with lavemder lemon glaze and Earl Grey Lemon Bundt Cake. Tea, too, of course. Very straightforward copy, no overblown pretension, but I do miss Greg’s hyperbole.

Normally I would feel bad about derailing a thread, but this is most exciting Greg thread I've ever read all the way through.

[quote] Finding the internet amusing today, Nordic Ware is posting Afternoon Tea in the Garden, pushing lime-glazed shortened cookies, savory ham and cheese crepes with apricot jam, strawberry scones with lavemder lemon glaze and Earl Grey Lemon Bundt Cake. Tea, too, of course. Very straightforward copy, no overblown pretension, but I do miss Greg’s hyperbole.

That all sounds lovely, but I was just putting together something simple to offer my guests in between meals for a relatively brief visit.

I will do my best to up my hyperbole.

[quote] Normally I would feel bad about derailing a thread, but this is most exciting Greg thread I've ever read all the way through.

MacFound, I'm glad you've enjoyed this thread. I also hope you agree that R401 sounds like a little priss, talking about our "private school." He's the first to go asshole, you know.

[quote] Bro D was around but I did not ever have him as a teacher. Was he history? I had Bro Britt, and while he was not always liked by my classmates I grew to respect him. Bro Kevin was the freshman guidance counselor, as I learned he didn't do any advising but reminisced about Red Sox games. I think he retired soon after. I don't remember a Bro Jim. One of my biggest memories was when Cardinal Law came to celebrate Mass, it was such a big deal leading up to it, and then he gave us a vacation day (I am not Catholic).

Yes, Bro. D taught freshman Western Civ. We were scared to death of him. Bro. Joseph Britt was a real character. Yes, Bro. Kevin loved to call students in on their birthday and discuss the Red Sox. He was the Novice Master for the Xaverian Brothers for many years in the 50s & 60s.

Greg, what's for dinner? I'm doing ramen with poached eggs because I'm a fat, lazy whore,

What are you making for dinner, folkd?

R263 I bought some pineapple marmalade and I'm loving the taste.

[quote]Well, if it would please all of you here, I was wrong. I misrepresented my time with friends. There was no tea. Just sandwiches, unspeakably delicious lemon squares and brownies. Oh, and Prosecco.

And honestly, it was mostly an excuse for me to wear my new short caftan and to flash my freshly waxed hole at my friend's daddy, on whom I've had a crush since I was a tender young boy.

Since my wife joined her afternoon bowling league

I just feel more sensual going "sans culotte" under my sheer Summer shorty caftans...

especially when I have a fine looking strapping man in my house

Seriously though, the men in that room were practically eye raping me...

I could feel the sexual tension every time I bent over or exposed my nether regions.

The food sounds great, but it’s very gauche to serve alcohol during afternoon tea.

If you think that's gauche, you never seen me cross and uncross my legs like a young Sharon Stone during an afternoon tea party.

Or bend over to refill a drink...

[quote] The food sounds great, but it’s very gauche to serve alcohol during afternoon tea.

I completely disagree. Anytime I've gone out for tea, I've had Champagne.

Apparently, Claridge's doesn't agree with R414.

Oh, and they also serve egg salad and smoked salmon. So, the poster who claims that neither of those is appropriate for afternoon tea can fuck off!

Your basis for correct behavior...is a hotel?

Let me guess.

You sometime surprise overnight guests with a chocolate mint left on their pillow.

[quote]I completely disagree. Anytime I've gone out for tea, I've had Champagne.

Anytime you go out your full of Champagne...and liquor...

R418 What's your basis for correct behavior?

R418, Claridge's is hardly any hotel. You must not get out much.

Not r418, but I'd guess that like many of us he doesn't take his ideas of gracious living from a commercial establishment. The profit motive rarely leads to the best behavior, r420.

[quote]Claridge's is hardly any hotel.

Like any hotel, Claridge's seeks to maximize profit.

R422 Gracious living and correct behavior aren't the same things, last time I checked.

My guess is R418 will never answer the question.

Well, thanks for that brilliant info. I thought they ran it as a charity. And it was The Queen and Prince Philip's choice for their 40th anniversary party.

What is considered appropriate with a Long Island Iced Tea?

A Fire Island Cabana Boy?

[quote][R422] Gracious living and correct behavior aren't the same things, last time I checked

No, but try having one without the other.

R428 I'm not interested in having either, tbh.

I was stood up! Freshly cleaned bussy, and a superb meal- yes, the cod and prunes. Those hookup apps will be the death of me. I'm done entertaining gentleman callers.

R422 is correct. The way a hotel - even a classically luxurious one - does things and the way one would do things in one's home are very different things.

For example, the tiered trays one sees in hotels serve a perfectly useful function in their context, where buffet settings, waitstaff access and the need to maximize space are at a priority. They are unnecessary in an intimate private setting - unless the tea is being served to a large crowd. And while I imagine that Greg and his friends are rather large...well, I think you get the idea.

I love egg salad sandwiches, smoked salmon, brownies, lemon squares, Aperol spritzes. But none of these are afternoon tea. Particularly minus the tea.

I don't give a shit if every time Greg has afternoon tea he eats all of the above all mixed together in a bucket a la Mr. Creosote. That doesn't make it "correct".

Conversely, the poster above who said that gracious living and correct living are not necessarily the same is right. I don't think we need to be bound by conventions. Just acknowledge that what we do instead is not conventional.

That's all.

R431 So once again, please give a basis for what you deem "correct". Correct by whose standards? Is it written somewhere? Otherwise it's just your standards we're somehow supposed to follow. And why should we?

Fair enough?

Provide the lemon squares recipe Greg or I won’t believe this afternoon tea happened at all.

Use Ina Garten's recipe. It's excellent and very lemony.

There are numerous sources for "correct" behavior, most far too dull to bother with - there's a chap in the UK who analyzes "The Crown" for all the mistakes they make. Check out his take on a scene where QEII and Jacqueline Kennedy take tea together. I believe it's on YouTube. Fairly entertaining.

My observations in general are based on growing up in the Hudson River Valley at the tail end of the FDR social scene. Once you've had Daisy Suckley or Polly Gage or pour you a cup of tea, you tend not to forget it.

No one needs to observe any of these conventions. Some of them are antiquated and a few simply silly (although many of them are also surprisingly useful in terms of food preparation). Choose to do whatever you like.

Greg likes to hand us the idea that his recipes and entertainments represent "correct" behavior. They don't. They don't have to...but then why pretend they do?

And if there's no fucking tea...it ain't afternoon fucking tea.

I’m glad that Greg has been unmasked. Long overdue.

Yeah, supposedly the 3-tiered trays are for restaurant use. At home, you'd just have plates.

R435, how the hell old are you?

R438 I’m cackling right now because I had to google Daisy suckley and Polly whatever and the only thing that came up was the suckley one…and she was born in 1891!

I'd love to see what Greg would do with Tex Mex or Cajun food.

R438, I have a small brain in my tail. It's smarter than Greg's, so I'm content.

Pauline Anderson Gage was a supporter of Martin Luther King Jr. , among other public figures, and a remarkable person.

R435 Ok, thanks for answering, but isn't it possible that what was correct in that era is no longer valid?

I'm also curious about how old you are, r441-- not to make fun of you, but so we can ask you questions.

I use a tiered tray for appetizers and tea. I like the way they look, and don't give af what some etiquette expert or a 100 year old queen thinks.

“Pauline Anderson Gage was a supporter of Martin Luther King Jr. , among other public figures, and a remarkable person.” (R435)

Ok but it doesn’t maker her an authority on afternoon tea.

An afternoon tea should offer tea. Champagne may be offered, but it's an afternoon tea, not an afternoon champagne. I love you, Greg, but bring on the oolong.

R442, absolutely. As I said, we should do as we please.

Were I Greg, I would have posted something along the lines of - "Here's some refreshments I set out for visiting friends - they enjoyed them and I'm happy to share and trade recipes."

(Now the positive thing about "correct" things is that they tend to be rooted in practicality, so i wouldn't dismiss them out of hand.)

R445, Mrs. Gage's afternoon teas were legendary, featuring an 80-piece tea service of American Georgian silver that weighed more than she did and china in her family from before the American Revolution.

She knew how to serve a cup of tea.

Greg already explained why he didn't serve hot tea (iced I believe) and agreed it was food served at a tea, but not tea. Jesus.

R444, they're good when space is a priority.

This weird objection to tiered plates must be coming from suburbanites. Very useful in tight city apartments!

R448. And yet he called his thread “afternoon tea tomorrow” Have fun with Jesus though.

I live in a fairly small beach place, and serve appetizers and drinks in the living room- the appetizers on a tiered tray, on my coffee table. It works out quite well.

R443, I confess I am a sprightly 50 years of age but look 25 when I stand so you can only see half of me.

My credentials rest on my grandmother's social circle, who included the people named and many, many more. She was a formidable person of the iron fist in an iron glove persuasion. She encouraged me and my siblings to have friendships with much older people, and it was a last chance to see the generation of WWII that actually worked with the FDR White House. I've been eldergaying since I was a gayling in some sense.

Mmmm, all this talk is making my bussy itchy...

What does a gurl have to do around here to be treated like a sex kitten?

(Preferably before my wifey comes home from her Home Reno class at the Home Depot)

[quote]Once you've had Daisy Suckley

I like to be the CENTER of attention at my tea parties.

And I'm in charge of ALL the suckey-suckey where my gentleman callers are concerned!

What's your Memorial Day menu, Greg?

I don’t like tea. It’s acrid tasting.

Were Greg to serve it to me I’d [italic]spit in back in his face.

[quote] And while I imagine that Greg and his friends are rather large...

Sorry, no one is fat. But I like how you just imagine that. I like cooking more than eating. But I love good food.

R457 posts so he can use the word acrid.

Shut up and eat your tea.

Apparently Greg is not entertaining this weekend. Afternoon tea prep left him fatigued.

Poor Greg got his rose-scented mineral water mixed-up with his Pert shampoo...and well, it led to an unfortunate incident.

Please excuse him while he recovers.

Too many prunes, he's stuck on the shitter.

[quote]R457 posts so he can use the word acrid.

Your BUTT is acrid ! !

You have never been near my ass to make that determination, r457.

.

r459

[quote] Apparently Greg is not entertaining this weekend. Afternoon tea prep left him fatigued.

No, but if being an asshole makes you happy, you must be ecstatic.

While you ladies were busy debating the appropriateness of tiered trays at home and what constitutes correct living vs gracious living, I was getting ready for my Memorial Day party.

And R436 is a total bozo:

[quote] I’m glad that Greg has been unmasked. Long overdue.

I can't stop laughing. I've been unmasked? I'm dying to hear how. And I'm sorry my unmasking didn't come as quickly as you would have liked.

Anyway, R436, I think you are a sniveling little bitch, but I really am curious about my unmasking.

[quote] Were I Greg, I would have posted something along the lines of - "Here's some refreshments I set out for visiting friends - they enjoyed them and I'm happy to share and trade recipes."

But you're not Greg, so kindly fuck off.

hello? Where is the food list of your Memorial Day party?

Eldergay, your comment about my brain was really juvenile. Why be unkind?

Someone asked about my recipe for lemon squares. I used Sally's recipe for lemon bars with a shortbread crust. I added 2 Tablespoons of lemon zest to the lemon curd.

[quote] I'd love to see what Greg would do with Tex Mex or Cajun food.

Seriously, R440?

[quote] Greg likes to hand us the idea that his recipes and entertainments represent "correct" behavior. They don't. They don't have to...but then why pretend they do?

Eldergay, I don't recall ever saying that my recipes and ways of entertaining represent correct behavior. You said that. No pretending here. What an asshole you are.

[quote] Your basis for correct behavior...is a hotel? Let me guess. You sometime surprise overnight guests with a chocolate mint left on their pillow.

If you think that Claridge's is just a hotel, that shows how little you know. In any case, no I do not surprise my overnight guests with a mint on their pillow. But my guest room does have very nice white bedlinen that is ironed and crisp. And during the spring and summer I have fresh flowers in the room if someone is staying over.

Any more of your stupid questions?

It appears that Greg is not at home today and is posting from the fainting couch in his bedroom.

Hopefully Sally’s lemon bars are better than math in her recipe:

“Author: Sally Prep Time: 10 minutes Cook Time: 40 minutes Total Time: 3 hours, 50 minutes Yield: 24 bars”

Greg is busy making prune danish for his next tea.

Greg you should start a food and lifestyle blog.

[quote]I'd love to see what Greg would do with Tex Mex or Cajun food.

NOT!!!

This seems like a good place to ask:

Is scone pronounced to rhyme with “cone” or “gone”?

cone, r478

William Hansen is the tightest little ass when it comes to all things proper.

One more time r478

William Hansen is the tightest little ass when it comes to all things proper.

[quote] Greg is busy making prune danish for his next tea.

Wow, you're so amusing. Such an original comment. What are you six years old?

Now kindly get lost.

The Greg impersonations in this thread are absolutely hilarious! Keep up the good work. I hope there's a part 2 thread.

I'm using my special prune- olive oil facial right now, with a dab or two on my dry bussy. I arrange everything on tiered silver plate. Double duty boys!

[quote] The Greg impersonations in this thread are absolutely hilarious! Keep up the good work. I hope there's a part 2 thread.

What a juvenile sense of humor you have, R483.

Stupidity is no substitute for wit.

[quote] The Greg impersonations in this thread are absolutely hilarious! Keep up the good work. I hope there's a part 2 thread.

Absolutely hilarious? How juvenile you must be.

Stupidity is no substitute for wit.

"Stupidity is no substitute for wit."

Not one of your finer retorts, Greggy-poo. Stupidity and wit are antonyms and therefore, of course, one can't sub for the other. Workshop that one a bit more...I see where you're going but you didn't get there.

[quote] therefore, of course, one can't sub for the other.

Precisely my point.

But Greg, that's not clever and therefore not a good retort. It's also not witty so you're undermining your authority to make judgments on what people find witty, ie., the impressions of you.

Greg's response to any form of mockery is bereft of wit. It's always merely a variant of "You're stupid, fuck off, neener neener."

Greg is getting her laced panties in a bunch. Ha!

Leave him alone. At least Greg is an additive poster and not one of you subtractive cunts.

It appears that r492 is not at home today and is posting from her fainting couch in her bedroom.

greg.

Wow, he's a beast!

Greg - do you ever go out to eat?

R494, wow, is that actually him?

I think he has a nice smile.

R496, evidently quite a bit!

R493 You should ask yourself the same question.

There is a poster here, one who posts frequently enough, who may be all he wants to be, Or may not. So many get riled up and post as him, so what is true? His word choice presents himself as cultured, but question or cross him and his retorts. give him away, retorts not needed, quite common on the “fuck you, you bitch” level.

He says he went to a “school (private).” And this drew the arrows out of quivers. He admits to going to a Catholic high school. Private enough, for him, laughingly not so for others. Not exactly a St. Grottlesex edicatopm, so he mighf as well not bothered going to school at all.

An education proper? He types as if his social and class self-consciousness never overcame his youthful lack of suit, white tie, mortar board and gown. However, enough of this, little will shut him up.

It's the weekend boys. Mama's mussy is wetter than a Seattle winter!

Greg/r501 who's banging all your holes this weekend?

That sounds absolutely DEEELIGHTful! How does one get an invitation to such a pleasant affair?

Roll yourself in lemon squares and Aperol and present hole, Miss Graham.

Or simply tell Greg no tea party is complete without Graham cracker, which is what you are.

YAWN!😒😒😒😒😒😒

[quote]I was class of '85. We may have had some of the same teachers....

I used to let the Phys Ed coach and some of the other bigger boys finger-bang my bussy in the gym in those pre-conversions days...it felt SO heavenly...

Oh well, now I just recite the recipe for my delicious scones or the lyrics of a Madonna song in my head until I repel those evil thoughts from my mind...

Sorry fake Greg. I was taking big D, not fingers.

Now, I'm finishing up my Ina Garten roast chicken and I got a man waitin' for me!

But Greg, you said you were cured of the evil desire for men's penises!

You were such a slut, and I spent so much money on you and that gay conversion program!

[quote] There is a poster here, one who posts frequently enough, who may be all he wants to be, Or may not. So many get riled up and post as him, so what is true? His word choice presents himself as cultured, but question or cross him and his retorts. give him away, retorts not needed, quite common on the “fuck you, you bitch” level. He says he went to a “school (private).” And this drew the arrows out of quivers. He admits to going to a Catholic high school. Private enough, for him, laughingly not so for others. Not exactly a St. Grottlesex edicatopm, so he mighf as well not bothered going to school at all. An education proper? He types as if his social and class self-consciousness never overcame his youthful lack of suit, white tie, mortar board and gown. However, enough of this, little will shut him up.

There is a poster here, for whom English seems to be his second language. At least my Catholic school education taught me how to write properly. Sorry you were failed by your parents or your schooling.

xx

[quote] Greg - do you ever go out to eat?

Yes, but not much since the beginning of the pandemic. But, yes, I used to go out to eat twice a week.

[quote] Greg's response to any form of mockery is bereft of wit. It's always merely a variant of "You're stupid, fuck off, neener neener."

Oh, I'm sorry I'm not making you laugh. Now fuck off.

[quote] But Greg, that's not clever and therefore not a good retort. It's also not witty so you're undermining your authority to make judgments on what people find witty, ie., the impressions of you.

Honestly, you sound so boring and tedious.

xx

Nobody ever mentioned getting R263's reference?

Very clever, R513...

Was that fatty's picture the real Greg?

Oh no, Greg's a good 150 to 200 lbs heavier than that!

Ha, r516!

.........