Hello and thank you for being a DL contributor. We are changing the login scheme for contributors for simpler login and to better support using multiple devices. Please click here to update your account with a username and password.

Hello. Some features on this site require registration. Please click here to register for free.

Hello and thank you for registering. Please complete the process by verifying your email address. If you can't find the email you can resend it here.

Hello. Some features on this site require a subscription. Please click here to get full access and no ads for $1.99 or less per month.

A serious question: Why are some gay men attracted to fems?

It just does not make sense to me. Isn't the whole purpose of being gay is because you like MEN? So therefore how on earth could you find fems attractive? It defeats the whole purpose of being gay. You might as well go be with a woman.

Are the guys that like fems actually bi and not gay? That would make more sense to me since bi guys are of course attracted to both men and women so maybe they are turned on by feminine men?

P.S.: I am a masculine gay man myself that is strictly only attracted to other masculine men and I am not trying to offend anyone at all, I am just simply curious to hear different opinions on this...

Please enlighten me.

by Anonymousreply 475November 10, 2023 11:21 PM

Fems can't get pregnant unlike real women, that's why some men think it is safer to use them as holes. There are some men who are gay and men who are hole-sexual.

by Anonymousreply 1March 8, 2022 10:02 PM

I'm not, and it's mostly gay leaning bi men that are attracted to femes/ bearded women.

by Anonymousreply 2March 8, 2022 10:04 PM

R2 like him?

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 3March 8, 2022 10:05 PM

[quote]Isn't the whole purpose of being gay is because you like MEN

Men, meaning humans with a penis. A lot of dudes like feminine body or facial features, womanly ass/thighs, pretty face, but get off on the fact that the person still has a dick and is a male.

by Anonymousreply 4March 8, 2022 10:16 PM

R4, If a man likes the whole masculine/feminine combination then I would think they are more bi than gay. Bi means being attracted to both men and women and gay means being attracted to the same gender as yourself.

by Anonymousreply 5March 8, 2022 10:25 PM

The whole point is to be same SEX attracted. Femme gay men aren't females.

by Anonymousreply 6March 8, 2022 10:27 PM

R6, I still don't understand it...to each their own I guess. I wouldn't touch a fem with a ten foot pole though.

by Anonymousreply 7March 8, 2022 10:38 PM

As I mentioned in the decorating chapter of my seminal self-help book My Way Of Life, "men feel much more masculine walking into a frilly, feminine bedroom (where his woman awaits sexual congress-that's implied, but not stated outright, thanks censors!) and I think the same holds true for a top and his bottom. He feels all that much more virile while he's drilling that squealing little twink for all he's worth. My dear friend Billy Haines is in 100% agreement on this matter.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 8March 8, 2022 10:39 PM

A lot of straight identified dudes are now professing attraction to a certain type of pretty femboys. It’s more associated with mostly straight men than gay men

by Anonymousreply 9March 8, 2022 10:59 PM

Nobody chooses what they’re attracted to. I’m a gay guy, and I like feminine boys. Why? Beats me.

by Anonymousreply 10March 8, 2022 11:12 PM

For me personally, there is nothing more repulsive than a man with a feminine voice. Anyone agree?

by Anonymousreply 11March 8, 2022 11:28 PM

Well I guess we all have our own tastes

by Anonymousreply 12March 9, 2022 12:11 AM

I think the men who are attracted to fems are insecure about their own masculinity and are intimidated by masculine men.

by Anonymousreply 13March 9, 2022 1:13 AM

We literally just had this thread, or a very similar one, a week ago.

by Anonymousreply 14March 9, 2022 1:21 AM

R14, what is the thread called so I can look it up? I missed it.

by Anonymousreply 15March 9, 2022 1:24 AM

I've more often heard that question asked re: lesbians. Why would a feminine lesbian be attracted to a "butch" looking lesbian.

I was watching a documentary about lady boys in Thailand. One of the lady boys said that he / she wanted to get the gender reassignment surgery (penis cut off), but said that she'd make less money that way. Men / boyfriends / clients want the penis intact.

The same doc featured an English or Australian man who fell in love with a lady boy. The man's son considered his father "gay" and was having none of the father's explanations.

by Anonymousreply 16March 9, 2022 1:25 AM

What a bunch of bores. Sounds like a church picnic in here.

by Anonymousreply 17March 9, 2022 1:27 AM

Telling point, OP. Really clear. Obvious to everyone. Light switch moment. Likely to speak for itself.

by Anonymousreply 18March 9, 2022 1:30 AM

R14 "Literally"

Oh, dear

by Anonymousreply 19March 9, 2022 1:31 AM

Fems to me are transgenders that are afraid to transition.

by Anonymousreply 20March 9, 2022 2:22 AM

It seems that every minority feels the need to stratify -- to impose castes. In our case, far too many gay men congratulate themselves on being the "right" kind of gay . . . butch, not femme.

"The whole purpose of being gay"? Really? Leaving aside the "choice" narrative implied there, I'm disgusted by the narrowness of the premise. Gays who expect tolerance from straights but aren't tolerant of other "kinds" of gays are the worst kind of hypocrites.

by Anonymousreply 21March 9, 2022 2:25 AM

r1, that's dumb. Birth control exists, so does oral and anal. It's not 1852. Hetero guys don't just start sleeping with men because women can get pregnant.

by Anonymousreply 22March 9, 2022 2:28 AM

Guys who are tops want smaller, non-macho guys they can dominate.

Bottoms want big, burly dominant guys.

OP is a bottom so he doesn't get what tops want

by Anonymousreply 23March 9, 2022 2:30 AM

OP, it really doesn't matter if you want Burly J. Butchbear, or Miss Nancy Fembottom ... in the end you're still just a filthy cocksucker. like the rest of us And your tastes are likely to change and develop throughout your adult life, so I wouldn't go casting too many blanket statements or demeaning assumptions just yet.

by Anonymousreply 24March 9, 2022 2:36 AM

I also have to add that I do not understand men who are not versatile. Anyone that is just strictly a top or a bottom is an idiot.

And yes I am the OP. I wish there was a way to edit posts.

by Anonymousreply 25March 9, 2022 3:08 AM

Maybe it's the area I live in (Flyover) but I've never met a man who likes femininity in other men. I'm not nelly, but I'm not macho enough to attract anyone around here.

by Anonymousreply 26March 9, 2022 3:13 AM

I appreciate the honesty, R26.

A lot of DLers seem to be interested in Nicolas (or Nicholas) Fairford, who has a YouTube channel. Very soft and feminine. We've had several threads on him.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 27March 9, 2022 3:19 AM

I made myself date a femme when I came out - feeling that it was a form of internalized homophobia to not like femme men. It was good for me - and made me appreciate how much harder those boys had it than me. But with the more difficult childhood from being femme, there seemed to result a damaged defensiveness that was difficult to deal with in a relationship. I respect femmes more - but sexually they just don’t turn me on. There is a lid for every pot I guess.

by Anonymousreply 28March 9, 2022 3:24 AM

I like slightly fem guys. Maybe because I'm slightly bi if some comments are to be taken seriously?

by Anonymousreply 29March 9, 2022 3:53 AM


by Anonymousreply 30March 9, 2022 3:54 AM


by Anonymousreply 31March 9, 2022 3:55 AM

The heart wants what the heart wants

by Anonymousreply 32March 9, 2022 3:59 AM

"Bisexuals fuck everything and are attracted to everything under the sun"

LOL, no they don't.

"you are bi."

You are dumb

by Anonymousreply 33March 9, 2022 4:00 AM

I think fem guys are just as much man as any other men.

by Anonymousreply 34March 9, 2022 4:12 AM

^ yes

by Anonymousreply 35March 9, 2022 4:13 AM

This shite again. This website recently………yeesh. This is like some gay blog’s hottest topic of 2002. Isn’t there anything better?

by Anonymousreply 36March 9, 2022 4:19 AM

There are so many levels of "femme" OP

There are guys with gay voice who are otherwise not overly femme all the way to men whom, as noted, your impression is they would gladly lop off their penis and grow breasts if only the process was easier and more successful.

In my experience the men who like flamboyantly femme gay men are very insecure about being perceived as weak and feminine for being gay and get off on the fact that they are clearly the "man" in the relationship and that the femme bottom acts like a woman but still lets them act on their attraction to men's bodies.

by Anonymousreply 37March 9, 2022 4:21 AM

Because other people can like things different from you OP without the need to explain themselves or be declared strange.

by Anonymousreply 38March 9, 2022 4:29 AM

Let me offer an explanation visa my own experience.

I like both hyper masculine guys (especially bearish ones) and feminine guys. It's all about dinner form of domination/submission fetish for me.

I like masculine guys to top to me. And dominate me. Almost degrade me.

I like to top feminine guys. In fact I like my fem guys to be chubby, I love their big butt. And I want them submissive. Then I like to fuck them real hard.

by Anonymousreply 39March 9, 2022 4:29 AM

Ok modulo the typos

Visa-> via

Dinner -> some

by Anonymousreply 40March 9, 2022 4:30 AM

[quote]Please enlighten me.

Not everyone is you.

The end.

by Anonymousreply 41March 9, 2022 4:33 AM

So, R39, you like big butts on a faggy guy.

by Anonymousreply 42March 9, 2022 5:10 AM


by Anonymousreply 43March 9, 2022 5:16 AM

It was a dumb joke bub. Unclench.

by Anonymousreply 44March 9, 2022 5:21 AM


by Anonymousreply 45March 9, 2022 5:24 AM

Hypermasculine guys have already been questioned and debunked in the 2979s. Do we really need to revisit that?

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 46March 9, 2022 5:45 AM

Not sure why they like fems

by Anonymousreply 47March 9, 2022 6:44 AM

Meant , 1970s**

by Anonymousreply 48March 9, 2022 8:12 AM

As mentioned upthread about lesbians: some couples are a butch and a fem (nelly). It's what they like. Why be mean to them?

There's a spectrum. Some str8 women are butch, some str8 guys are a bit nelly. Have you not ever met someone and been aghast to find out they are str8?

This OP sounds like a str8 g8crasher stirring up shit or is either 14 years old

by Anonymousreply 49March 9, 2022 9:50 AM

For me, a big part of my attraction to fem guys is that I like soft gentle lovemaking. I dont like rough sex. And the chances are better I will get that with a particular type of guy that isnt very masculine - Nicholas Fairford as pointed out by R27 is a perfect example of the type I find attractive - dainty, prissy, overly groomed, with gay voice and gay voice in abundance

R4 also puts it well -

[quote]Men, meaning humans with a penis. A lot of dudes like feminine body or facial features, womanly ass/thighs, pretty face, but get off on the fact that the person still has a dick and is a male.

And R6

[quote]The whole point is to be same SEX attracted. Femme gay men aren't females.

This is why have no interest in transgenders - I need there to be a penis, and no tits

But R32, R38, and R41 nail it best. Different people like different things, and just as well. Life would be shit if we all liked the exact same thing. Fuck that noise

by Anonymousreply 50March 9, 2022 10:01 AM

It takes all kinds to make a world OP, sorry you just can’t get that.

by Anonymousreply 51March 9, 2022 10:03 AM

AuntieOP is too thick to know life.

by Anonymousreply 52March 9, 2022 10:10 AM

I’m one of those attracted to masculine men and I don’t flame. Sometimes I’m attracted to a femme if he -looks-masculine, possibly has a beard…

by Anonymousreply 53March 9, 2022 10:12 AM

I like femboy or men dressed in lingerie because it is humiliating to do so. It is a great turn on to watch someone being humiliated (feminized and fucked by a man) while enjoying it. I sometimes ask my hookups to dress in pink underwear. Some of them let me.

by Anonymousreply 54March 9, 2022 10:14 AM

[quote]I also have to add that I do not understand men who are not versatile. Anyone that is just strictly a top or a bottom is an idiot.

I don't bottom because it's painful for me. Maybe that makes me stupid.

But it's astonishing that there are so many people who lack the imagination to realize there are people out there with different tastes than themselves.

by Anonymousreply 55March 9, 2022 11:04 AM

We have had decades of clones and leather people and bodybuilders, and none of the angrier cavepeople straights seem convinced of the manliness of these men.

by Anonymousreply 56March 9, 2022 11:08 AM

Ya call?

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 57March 9, 2022 11:11 AM

Some threads started by the totally masc bro OP:

[quote]Has there ever been a better-looking guy than Colton Haynes?

[quote]Who was better-looking in their prime: Madonna or Cher?

[quote]What do you honestly think of Mariah Carey's looks?

by Anonymousreply 58March 9, 2022 11:13 AM


by Anonymousreply 59March 9, 2022 11:59 AM

R58 now that right there is something I dont get about a guy who claims to be totally gay - why would any gay guy even have opinions about "Who was better-looking in their prime: Madonna or Cher?" or "What do you honestly think of Mariah Carey's looks?"

I'm gay. I dont give a shit. I havent even noticed any of them. I dont even notice a womans looks unless they are a 400 pound ogre, and then its the sheer size that impinges on my consciousness. I may acknowledge that a woman is beautiful if one is pointed out to me, the same way a car or piece of antique furniture is beautiful, but I'm not going to have that pulse of lust and fixation the way I will with a male

by Anonymousreply 60March 9, 2022 12:59 PM


by Anonymousreply 61March 9, 2022 1:07 PM

R61 = Boyd McDonald

by Anonymousreply 62March 9, 2022 1:08 PM

R61 is not Boyd McDonald. He'd never have said anything like that. He was very sex inclusive and celebrated gay sex in every and any form.

by Anonymousreply 63March 9, 2022 1:15 PM

I heard an NPR story by Ari Shapiro yesterday and his gayvoice was levitating my clock radio. He squealed, he sobbed, he lisped... dear GAWD.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 64March 9, 2022 1:35 PM

Average gwm, strictly attracted to masculine men only here, never even thought about females in a sexual way, I keep thinking of a Venus fly trap. I prefer a great big beautiful hard sexy penis in all things sexual. I enjoy pleasing hot blooded men, and they enjoy pleasing me, and that's just the way I like it. :-)

by Anonymousreply 65March 9, 2022 1:37 PM

R45, the "freak" is you. You sound very intolerant of others. You realize many straight people think gays are freaks, right?

by Anonymousreply 66March 9, 2022 3:02 PM

Definitely navigating through unchartered waters with these hot takes, OP.

Let me guess, you're single?

by Anonymousreply 67March 9, 2022 3:11 PM

R39 Yuck

by Anonymousreply 68March 9, 2022 3:29 PM

R54 Ever visited some nice therapist to help you get over the childhood abuse issues?

by Anonymousreply 69March 9, 2022 3:34 PM

Because they are, Blanche….now, let people be attracted to whoever they please, and MYOB….

by Anonymousreply 70March 9, 2022 3:36 PM

Only fems are attracted to fems

Masculine men like masculine men

The end

by Anonymousreply 71March 9, 2022 7:22 PM

[quote] You realize many straight people think gays are freaks, right?

And yet people subscribe to their absurd notions of masculinity.

by Anonymousreply 72March 9, 2022 7:37 PM

R71, no, look at the former Dallas Cowboy who gay married a twink. Tops want twinky guys

by Anonymousreply 73March 9, 2022 8:07 PM

It’s not that inconceivable. Even straight women don’t tie their attraction to masculinity. Look at rock stars throughout history, especially glam and punk, none of those men embody hyper-masculinity but they were swimming in sex.

More than a hundred years ago well groomed men in tailored fashion was the height of society. Masculinity has never been a rigid concept. Now, Harry Styles is wearing dresses and still has one of the biggest female fan bases.

by Anonymousreply 74March 9, 2022 9:42 PM

We define what masculinity is, not accept what some straight Maggots think.

by Anonymousreply 75March 9, 2022 10:40 PM

R71 wrong. And clearly hasnt even read this thread through

by Anonymousreply 76March 10, 2022 12:41 AM

R73, which Dallas cowboy player?

by Anonymousreply 77March 10, 2022 1:13 AM

R77, I forget his name right now but he played for Tom Landry in the 80s and there was a big thread about him when he got married

Carl Nassib's bf is kinda twink-ish, too.

by Anonymousreply 78March 10, 2022 1:18 AM

Zack and Alastair are both masculine and together

by Anonymousreply 79March 10, 2022 4:48 AM

Threads like these seem designed to taunt DLers, most of whom are elderly effeminates who sufferer mercilessly for their effeminacy in more unenlightened times.

by Anonymousreply 80March 10, 2022 5:11 AM


by Anonymousreply 81March 10, 2022 5:12 AM


by Anonymousreply 82March 10, 2022 5:18 AM

[quote] Omg

Dyatlov right?

by Anonymousreply 83March 10, 2022 5:22 AM

The majority of gay men are femmes. Who the fuck are we supposed to be attracted to? OP's masculine ideal? Yeah, well, there aren't enough to go around. Especially gay ones.

by Anonymousreply 84March 10, 2022 5:23 AM

[quote]I am a masculine gay man

Says you.

by Anonymousreply 85March 10, 2022 5:25 AM

OP is a victim and a prisoner of outmoded social ideas. If he's young enough, he might get a chance to grow. Unlikely though.

by Anonymousreply 86March 10, 2022 5:27 AM


by Anonymousreply 87March 10, 2022 5:29 AM

Gay male here.

And, you, R87, get your validity through sock-puppets.

To my Ignore List you go. BYE!

by Anonymousreply 88March 10, 2022 5:30 AM


by Anonymousreply 89March 10, 2022 5:32 AM

R78, I think you mean Jeff Rohrer and Joshua Ross.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 90March 10, 2022 5:37 AM

R90, Joshua Ross looks like a lesbian

by Anonymousreply 91March 10, 2022 5:52 AM

Just as some str8 men are attracted to masculine dominating women and some str8 women are attracted to fey, weak men.

by Anonymousreply 92March 10, 2022 6:02 AM

R84, why do you think the majority are fems? Just wondering

by Anonymousreply 93March 10, 2022 6:24 AM

I'm SURE he knows, r93. They're not the majority they're just the most visible.

by Anonymousreply 94March 10, 2022 6:31 AM

Variety is the spice of life.

by Anonymousreply 95March 10, 2022 6:35 AM

You're marvellous, R95...you really are.

by Anonymousreply 96March 10, 2022 6:36 AM

Oh, R94, the traditional definition of masculine does not include any indication that someone is gay (the way they speak, things they say, the way they act, what they wear, etc). It's a small scope of gay men. And it's a minority.

But, by all means, don't challenge an OP who is trolling.

by Anonymousreply 97March 10, 2022 7:06 AM

R97, I am the OP and I am not trolling. I was just simply asking a question.

by Anonymousreply 98March 10, 2022 7:10 AM

[quote][R97], I am the OP and I am not trolling.

don't bother with those cunts I've been accused if being a troll for starting a thread on which herbs to use in a chicken soup.

by Anonymousreply 99March 10, 2022 7:17 AM

Yeah, because chicken soup herbs and "asking questions" about "femmes" in the gay community on DL are SO alike.

by Anonymousreply 100March 10, 2022 7:20 AM

R99, yeah I won't let them get to me

R100, I bet Cinesnatch is a fem

by Anonymousreply 101March 10, 2022 7:24 AM

[quote] I bet Cinesnatch is a fem

And ... ?

[quote]yeah I won't let them get to me

Then you wouldn't be passing judgment in the first place ...

by Anonymousreply 102March 10, 2022 7:28 AM

R82, what?

by Anonymousreply 103March 10, 2022 12:11 PM

"I'm going to go on a board filled with older femme bottoms and ask them why anyone would be attracted to men like that!" said OP


by Anonymousreply 104March 10, 2022 12:48 PM

OP, mind your own business.

by Anonymousreply 105March 10, 2022 12:59 PM

Christ, the heart wants what the heart wants. And when you throw in what the penis wants and what the brain wants it becomes even more complicated.

by Anonymousreply 106March 10, 2022 1:23 PM

R65- You go GURL!

by Anonymousreply 107March 10, 2022 1:34 PM

Not saying that a masc gay man can't be nurturing (or that a fem man can't be self-centered), but in a couple, you need some give and take. It's the "gardener and flower" thing. A couple can have 1 gardener & 1 flower, 2 gardeners, but not 2 flowers.

by Anonymousreply 108March 10, 2022 4:45 PM

[quote]I am not trying to offend anyone at all, I am just simply curious to hear different opinions on this

I hope no one actually believed this......

by Anonymousreply 109March 10, 2022 4:49 PM

God a lot of people got mad at this for no reason

by Anonymousreply 110March 10, 2022 9:20 PM

Seems reasonable to me, R110. There's a lot of pigeonholing, gatekeeping, or whatever around here. How many decades after Kinsey, and we have to hear this stuff? Life is more complicated than these trolls want it to be.

by Anonymousreply 111March 10, 2022 9:27 PM

Who told you is up to you to define the meaning of being gay OP?

There's NO meaning in being gay, we just are!

by Anonymousreply 112March 10, 2022 10:08 PM

Some sad individuals are still hung up on strict gender roles. "I may be gay, but I'm still a total alpha since I only fuck femme guys which makes it obvious to everybody else that I'm a total top and a total alpha! Yeah, dude! None of that beta bullshit where I get dominated, like getting fucked in the ass, no way! Total alpha here!".

Some may prefer a maternal sort of relationship where the femme guy takes care of the home and cooks the guy dinner like his mom used to do.

Some guys may see femme Gays as more courageous for daring to express their gay femininity.

Some simply reject the whole toxic masculinity thing and fully embrace the queer identity of younger generations.

by Anonymousreply 113March 10, 2022 11:13 PM

[quote]I am not trying to offend anyone at all, I am just simply curious to hear different opinions on this

I hope no one actually believed this......

R109 yeah I cant say I really believed this but figured I'd play along anyways on account of I reckon some folks jus need themselves an educashun

by Anonymousreply 114March 10, 2022 11:47 PM

R42 Says the freak obsessed with bearded women, fuck off homophobe.

by Anonymousreply 115March 10, 2022 11:49 PM

R108, why not 2 flowers? Just wondering.

by Anonymousreply 116March 11, 2022 4:24 AM

Fem4fem is a thing, R116, albeit not as common as masc4fem or fem4masc. (Ex: Angeria Paris Van Michaels on the current Drag Race season has mentioned being attracted to other drag queens.)

by Anonymousreply 117March 11, 2022 4:25 PM

[quote] [R108], why not 2 flowers? Just wondering.

The "flower" needs watering, tending, care, attention. It just sits in the ground being admired. I guess you could have 2 flowers, but IMO, that's a recipe for misery. Both partners will seek attention (not just a quickie) outside the relationship.

I know a 2-flower couple who had kids. That's when things fell apart. Kids / babies need to be the flower, at least the first couple of years of their lives. This couple fought over who was going to do what for the kids. (Both were used to only taking care of themselves.)

by Anonymousreply 118March 11, 2022 4:30 PM

"Bisexuals fuck everything and are attracted to everything under the sun"

I think there's a lot of narcism in bisexuality - this is from MY personal experience.

I've also noticed that bi men are often EXTREMELY handsome and attractive - which makes sense if you think about it because they attract and are attracted to BOTH sexes and they're especially attracted to other very handsome men, that's what jolts them out of their dreary "hetero" lives when they see it. They see their own good looks in the other man and it turns them on.

This is my experience of an aspect of bisexuality.

by Anonymousreply 119March 12, 2022 12:16 PM

That’s not my experience

by Anonymousreply 120March 12, 2022 12:27 PM

Although I have spent my whole life in Manhattan, save two years in LA, I have not met many bisexual men.

I have, however, met a lot of closeted gay men who date women because it is socially acceptable and they are not effeminate.

This, in turn, makes them far more attractive to many gay men, so it's a vicious cycle.

by Anonymousreply 121March 12, 2022 3:56 PM

R121, you must not know a lot of black and Latin men. I do, and I can tell you there are legions of bi men in LA

by Anonymousreply 122March 12, 2022 5:05 PM

R122 It seems like there are not so many bisexual white guys though, do you think? Except for the youngsters, but they take one side when they grow up.

by Anonymousreply 123March 12, 2022 5:26 PM

Fems are men. Gay men are attracted to men. Fems still have an Adams apple, facial hair, penises and hairy legs. Straight women are attracted to fem men too. It's like asking why straight men and lesbians find butch tomboyish women with deep voices attractive.

by Anonymousreply 124March 15, 2022 12:58 AM

I think that's bi men who like butch women, at least more so than straight men, R124. Straight men like anything with long blonde hair and pendulous breasts.

by Anonymousreply 125March 15, 2022 7:12 PM

Excellent point! Same with lesbians and butch women with short hair who act like dudes. Why not just fuck an actual dude, then, since that's obviously where your preference lies? We'll never know

by Anonymousreply 126March 16, 2022 8:57 PM

Gays tend to be attracted to men like themselves - look at all the gay wedding photos, often they look like twins - all this most gays yearn for straight men is complete and utter bullshit and nonsense. How many couples do you know where one is very queeny and the BF is superbutch?

by Anonymousreply 127March 16, 2022 9:08 PM

R126 No matter the styling and mannerism, when clothes are removed, the body is that of the actual sex, a butch lesbian has tits, vagina, feminine skin, hips etc, while fem guy has male body without feminine curves, with rougher skin, hairy masculine legs, male firmness (if he is not a fatty, but then again the fat is distributed differently) and... penis.

So, if someone looks for a substitute he/she will end disappointed once the clothes are taken of.

by Anonymousreply 128March 16, 2022 9:10 PM

R127 I know a couple when one of the guys is middle aged, very tall, strong muscly (he is a gym queen) while the boyfriend is young, smaller, slight, with skinny boyish body.

But boy, are the both of them similarly queenly, with their haircuts, clothes, whitened shiny teeth, mannerism etc.

by Anonymousreply 129March 16, 2022 9:23 PM

R128 Semantics! It's not just about the biology, but also te motherfucking mannerisms!

by Anonymousreply 130March 16, 2022 9:24 PM

Folks, when people say “masculine” they are generally talking about demeanor, style, interests, voice, and mannerisms, usually not so much stature, build, or body hair.

by Anonymousreply 131March 16, 2022 9:32 PM

So many offended femmes on here! Go all die in a grease fire, will ya? The gay universe would be such a better place!

by Anonymousreply 132March 16, 2022 9:32 PM

R131 Thank you!!! Masc = not flaming. So many illiterate nellies on here

by Anonymousreply 133March 16, 2022 9:36 PM

Nate, why are you against Nellies so much?

by Anonymousreply 134March 16, 2022 9:43 PM

R127 I am the "butch" one in a couple like that, although the gay couples that look like twins is definitely a thing for sure, I seen it myself

[quote]Folks, when people say “masculine” they are generally talking about demeanor, style, interests, voice, and mannerisms, usually not so much stature, build, or body hair.

R131 while there is some truth to this I am only into fems with a slim/ thin build and do slightly prefer them smooth. I wont be interested in any bear, fem or masc

But the mannerisms are a big part of what I find attractive too like what R130 says - mincing, fey and queeny with gay voice and gay face are gonna get my interest for sure

by Anonymousreply 135March 16, 2022 10:29 PM

[quote] I seen it myself

Oh, dear!

by Anonymousreply 136March 16, 2022 10:31 PM

What is masculine exactly? Do you mean really masculine or looking / pretending to be masculine?

Because I’m very feminine but I can physically fight.

A lot of guys, gay and straight, claim masculine but would get their asses beat by an angry fem. That’s not really masculine to me.

by Anonymousreply 137March 16, 2022 10:34 PM

Rare footage of r137 in action.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 138March 16, 2022 10:38 PM

R131 Yeah but there’s people who would be identified as “masculine” who listen to Cher.

Like is Francois Sagat masculine because he’s big and muscular with a deep voice and bald? He wears lingerie and heels.

I’m very feminine. I’d never wear lingerie or heels.

So what is masculine?

by Anonymousreply 139March 16, 2022 10:41 PM

No, R137 has posed a good question.

I agree that "mental masculinity" counts much more than hypermasculine act.

by Anonymousreply 140March 16, 2022 10:42 PM

R140 There’s plenty of hairy muscular or average body straight men who are pretty feminine, which is why so many of them get dominated / emasculated by their female partners. Cause the women have more dominating / masculine traits.

So like I said, I don’t understand what masculine means.

The whole “masc” thing in the gay community is very subjective and way too subjective for people to act high and mighty about.

I can find way more videos of feminine gay men whooping ass than “masc” gay men online.

by Anonymousreply 141March 16, 2022 10:51 PM

Serious question: Why do you fucking care? Troll.

by Anonymousreply 142March 16, 2022 10:55 PM

[quote]What is masculine exactly? Do you mean really masculine or looking / pretending to be masculine? Because I’m very feminine but I can physically fight.

That's called "being strong" Mary.

For goodness sake!

by Anonymousreply 143March 16, 2022 11:57 PM

Masculine, conventional traits:

Hairy, including beard.

Tall and muscular.

Broad shoulders, esp. in proportion to waist / hips.

Deep / low voice. Not super chatty.

Protective personality. Protects his family and those he's close to.

Provider. Makes money and cares for his family by supporting them, financially.

Emotionally strong and unshakeable.

by Anonymousreply 144March 17, 2022 12:08 AM

Most people at large would definitely not consider Francois Sagat masculine because he is stereotypically “gay.”

by Anonymousreply 145March 17, 2022 12:10 AM

Masculine is a subjective term and assessment, but our society has a pretty common sense of what it is. For example, although most world not consider Sean Hayes to be masculine, most would view openly gay wrestler Fred Rosser to be.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 146March 17, 2022 12:20 AM

R135, are you sure you are not bi? Just wondering because I don't know of too many gay men that are attracted to fems.

by Anonymousreply 147March 17, 2022 1:05 AM

People still think that hairy guys are a sign of masculinity. I find them gross.

by Anonymousreply 148March 17, 2022 1:08 AM

I think DL has an older, hopelessly archaic 1970s “Village Folks” view of what masculine is, and they are oblivious to current sensibilities and popular culture. Most notably, is the bizarre fixation on hairiness as a sign of masculinity. A quick scan Of the social media accounts of the most popular hunks and athletes will quickly reveal hairiness is not a requirement to be considered manly or hot today by the masses.

by Anonymousreply 149March 17, 2022 1:22 AM

R142, u r fem

by Anonymousreply 150March 17, 2022 1:54 AM

Michael Jackson was EXTREMELY masculine. So much in fact he frequently omitted a kind of testosterone musk. Yes, Michael was the kind of guy you could do it with in the restroom of a Hardees’.

by Anonymousreply 151March 17, 2022 1:57 AM

R132 agreed!

by Anonymousreply 152March 17, 2022 5:17 AM

R149 And straight men shave and wax everything for women today! The ones that don’t aren’t getting laid.

So like I said I don’t understand what masculine is!

by Anonymousreply 153March 17, 2022 7:27 AM

R144 A lot of those traits aren’t even common in straight men.

So gay men being fussy about looking for masculine just sounds weird because a lot of women can’t even find all of those things in straight men.

by Anonymousreply 154March 17, 2022 7:28 AM

And you sound like a chick! “He has to be 6 feet and have this and have that”!

You’re describing a small pool of men. Not every guy is the Brawny guy and I don’t see why gay men should only be attracted to the Brawny guy.

by Anonymousreply 155March 17, 2022 7:30 AM

Bunch of triggered 60-year-old nellies with 4 pseudovaccine shots each commenting on here. You can even be "cute" and be masc: you just don't have to wear outlandish clothes, mince while walking, have a feminine voice or pink hair. In other words, you don't have to FLAME!!! You don't have to be a 6'4" Chad like me. Don't play dumb, will ya? It's annoying, ya fags!

by Anonymousreply 156March 17, 2022 7:36 AM

R152 Thank you. They're just triggered because they're all big ol' flamers who wanna be desired, so they try and put down masc dudes out of spite

by Anonymousreply 157March 17, 2022 7:41 AM

NateCrnkovich - you're behaving like a compete cunt. Just stop.

by Anonymousreply 158March 17, 2022 10:11 AM

R158 I AM a complete cunt. And for good reason

by Anonymousreply 159March 17, 2022 10:31 AM

In my opinion the number 1 requirement in order to be considered masculine is to have a NON-OBVIOUS VOICE!

You can be tall and muscular with a shaved head and a full beard with extreme body hair and a really strong face and dress really butch but if the voice is obvious then you are still fem in my opinion!

I would rather even be with a skinny and average guy with a masculine voice than a muscular and handsome guy with a feminine voice if I had to choose. To me, an attractive appearance is totally ruined if the voice sounds fem.

I repeat, the voice has to be non-obvious in order to be truly masculine.

Who agrees?

by Anonymousreply 160March 17, 2022 1:44 PM

[quote] I think DL has an older, hopelessly archaic 1970s “Village Folks” view of what masculine is, and they are oblivious to current sensibilities and popular culture.

I think younger gay men seem to be unable to discern their own tastes and likes, and feel insecure about what they may like or dislike unless many other men share the same choices and/or validate their own choices.

Older DL's know their own tastes and are uninterested in wasting time policing what others are doing or thinking.

by Anonymousreply 161March 17, 2022 1:51 PM

Fem guys are a type of mine. And I must say to me, because they are fem, they have had to find harder to be who they are, so obviously gay, for so long, they come across more self confident and self assured vs. their counterparts who have lived with the option to hide their sexuality when convenient. And in a way that confidence is very strong and very masculine and sexy to me. They know who they are, and what they want, and don't give a fuck what others think. Not all, but several.

by Anonymousreply 162March 17, 2022 2:02 PM

R162, r u bi?

by Anonymousreply 163March 17, 2022 2:06 PM

Why do some straight woman hook up with gay men? Because they prefer a good looking effeminate man to a horny ugly straight man.

by Anonymousreply 164March 17, 2022 2:08 PM

R131- I used to see this Very good looking guy at Splash back in the mid to late 1990's. He was masculine but he was not muscular at all. He was totally slim.

by Anonymousreply 165March 17, 2022 2:10 PM

R155- I don't like muscular guys. I like slim guys with natural bodies ( no tattoos, no piercings, no rings, no shaved pubic hair) who look and sound straight.

by Anonymousreply 166March 17, 2022 2:15 PM

R6, It is the gender one is attracted to.. It is the gender that matters. The rest is all about preferences. I get the feeling you are straight.

by Anonymousreply 167March 17, 2022 2:20 PM

Err, why is anyone attracted to anyone, or to any kink? Might as well search for the meaning of life while you're at it.

by Anonymousreply 168March 17, 2022 2:22 PM

[quote] They're just triggered because they're all big ol' flamers who wanna be desired, so they try and put down masc dudes out of spite.

You mean like what you are doing by disparaging femme guys?

One thing about "real" men is that they are comfortable in their own skin and don't need to make others feel small in order to feel good about themselves.

If you spend time and energy trying to convince others how masculine you are, chances are you are not so masculine after all. Especially on an anonymous gay themed message board. Like, how shitty has your life to be that you come to Datalounge to feel good about yourself by posting how great your life is? You can't even manage to fake it well enough for Instagram? That's just sad.

by Anonymousreply 169March 17, 2022 2:38 PM

Datalounge is in the presence of royalty, folks.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 170March 17, 2022 2:43 PM

R26- You sound like my type. I prefer someone who's neither masculine nor effeminate.

by Anonymousreply 171March 17, 2022 2:43 PM

Most fem guys are very male in their behavior: flamboyant, like to bring attention to themselves, loud and competitive in a conversation, very sexual and predatory at bars and on dating apps, can be blunt and not care about certain social cues, say misogynistic things about women, less patient and they walk fast just like all men do.

by Anonymousreply 172March 17, 2022 2:46 PM

Fem gays, drag queens and trans women never act like real women. Because most women don't act like stereotypes of their gender. Just like butch lesbians and trans men don't make convincing men. Nothing wrong with being fem or butch but it's not the same as actually being the opposite sex.

by Anonymousreply 173March 17, 2022 2:53 PM

R172- You forgot to mention that being fem often goes hand in hand with being BITCHY.

by Anonymousreply 174March 17, 2022 3:29 PM


You’re 100% correct. Makes no sense that people come on a gay GOSSIP board to bash fem gay men.

by Anonymousreply 175March 17, 2022 3:32 PM

R174 Yes and I think it's because some try to take on stereotypical and obnoxious behavior of women they see from pop culture but combine it with a male sense of entitlement. There are sweet-natured fem guys who aren't problematic though but they don't think stick out mainly because they aren't attention whores.

by Anonymousreply 176March 17, 2022 4:21 PM

[quote] Why do some straight woman hook up with gay men?

Just the one, dear?

by Anonymousreply 177March 17, 2022 5:12 PM

R160 I most certainly do! It's annoying when the audio doesn't match the video (think Roberto Bolle, for instance). Second requirement is to not have colored hair

by Anonymousreply 178March 17, 2022 5:32 PM

R169 I am, you feminine fag. Just look me up and you'll see that I am. Now, slip out of that female lingerie and BE A MAN!!! You people are a disgrace to the gay community!!!

by Anonymousreply 179March 17, 2022 5:35 PM

R165 Mid to late 1990s? Jeesh, is everyone on here, like, 65 or something?

by Anonymousreply 180March 17, 2022 5:57 PM

Would be interesting to hear, just one trait, what you guys think is masculine. It's just our opinions and I'd be interested to know.

Feminine as well, in a man.

by Anonymousreply 181March 17, 2022 5:58 PM

R181 Jeesh, how many times do we even have to answer that question? Can you guys even read? Astonishing that some nellies on here think a skinny guy is automatically femme, while a buff guy is automatically masc despite mincing when walking, having a high-pitched voice and rocking purple hair. Like, how detached from reality can you even be?

by Anonymousreply 182March 17, 2022 6:20 PM

Why wouldn't they be? Sexual and psychological attraction is incredibly varied.

by Anonymousreply 183March 17, 2022 6:21 PM

I like femmes but not too femme.

by Anonymousreply 184March 17, 2022 6:22 PM

R137 makes a good point - some fem guys are actually tough as nails and can and do give straight men a real ass whopping. They have had to be tough to cope with all the shit they get. Many are calm and sweet until pushed too far, and will fight back viciously and fair enough too.

R147 not bi at all. I slept with a couple of females way back when I was in my teens and still coming out, once I came to terms with being gay at 18 I never looked back and have been with men exclusively

R170 Gay face for miles! Extremely hot, but thats about the most gayest gay face I ever seen posted on here

[quote]It's annoying when the audio doesn't match the video

I have to agree with this though - its jarring for me too even though I like fems. A big hairy bear with a fem voice just sounds... odd. And isnt attractive, even for me

by Anonymousreply 185March 17, 2022 7:31 PM

R185 You have gay face, idiot. Check me out on IG and see for yourself my Slavic angular face. You big AIDS-ridden nelly

by Anonymousreply 186March 17, 2022 7:39 PM

R185 Gay face are round and feminine, FAG. Not sharp and angular, JEALOUS FAG

by Anonymousreply 187March 17, 2022 7:42 PM

Hey, Nato, are your people from Gorski Kotar?

by Anonymousreply 188March 17, 2022 9:06 PM

R188 NATO?

by Anonymousreply 189March 17, 2022 10:06 PM


by Anonymousreply 190March 17, 2022 11:15 PM

R181, The voice...it's all about the voice!

by Anonymousreply 191March 18, 2022 12:07 AM

R181 And sometimes the lewk (especially hair)

by Anonymousreply 192March 18, 2022 12:52 AM

I wonder if Nate's woman knows that her man is on Datalounge, telling femmes to go die in a grease fire.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 193March 18, 2022 4:54 AM

Maybe the the fem has money. We are constantly selling out

by Anonymousreply 194March 18, 2022 5:27 AM

R183 Sshtttt! She's nothing but a beard, Olivia Mea Culpable style

by Anonymousreply 195March 18, 2022 6:55 AM

R193 Is that really him?

by Anonymousreply 196March 18, 2022 7:40 AM

R163, no I am not bi. I have never been with a woman. I am not turned off by woman. But the only thing that would turn me on about one is watching her get fucked by a hot guy.

I like all kinds of men, younger, older, different races. And some femme guys are super sexy to me. Femme to me is different than Queenie, which I think people are mixing up. Femme to me includes the physical part, smooth, lithe body. Slender, sexy. A femme guy to me can have a masculine voice, but the way they present themselves is soft and sensual, and feminine. And the funny thing is Femme guys tend to be hung like horses, which is a funny paradox. I like fucking femme guys because it can be very sensual and hot.

A Queen is something completely different in my opinion. That is someone who can be of any physical type, bear to twink. And a lot of times queens present very butch, masculine, but a then a purse falls out of their mouth when they go to speak. That I am not attracted to as much.

by Anonymousreply 197March 18, 2022 2:25 PM

R197- I've heard queens talk and on older ones a pocketbook falls out of their mouth when they talk.

by Anonymousreply 198March 18, 2022 2:31 PM

Until recently, guys would describe masculine gay guys as “straight acting.” That term has been retired as offensive, but the fact remains that when gay or bisexual guys describe themselves or potential romantic interests as masculine, they mean guys who appear or seem straight. In other words, guys who are not detectable by gaydar

by Anonymousreply 199March 18, 2022 3:09 PM

R197 I so agree with the last period of your first paragraph. I put myself in her shoes when she's getting fucked by a hot guy and wish it could be me. That's just about the only thing that turns me on about them

by Anonymousreply 200March 18, 2022 6:07 PM

Well, what term has replaced "straight acting" R199?

by Anonymousreply 201March 18, 2022 7:48 PM

R201- Is one allowed to say that a guy is straight looking and sounding instead of Straight Acting. Is that allowed? Is that less offensive than Straight Acting?

by Anonymousreply 202March 18, 2022 7:50 PM

No, that’s offensive. You are ascribing masculinity as a trait associated with heterosexuality. Masculinity should not be linked to sexual orientation.

by Anonymousreply 203March 18, 2022 7:52 PM

Masculine women? Thats the most threatening thing of all!

by Anonymousreply 204March 18, 2022 8:08 PM

R204- I never found Beatrice Arthur threatening.

by Anonymousreply 205March 18, 2022 8:11 PM

[quote] No, that’s offensive.

Now do queer.

by Anonymousreply 206March 18, 2022 9:59 PM

Fair enough, R5, but Blanche without makeup might be worse.

by Anonymousreply 207March 18, 2022 10:08 PM

Obviously meant R205, thanks edibles.

by Anonymousreply 208March 18, 2022 10:42 PM

Anyone ever heard of fem guys lusting over other fem guys? Just wondering.

by Anonymousreply 209March 19, 2022 11:23 PM

R209 There’s fem couples all over Grindr

by Anonymousreply 210March 19, 2022 11:55 PM


Yes. Happens all the time.

by Anonymousreply 211March 20, 2022 12:10 AM

I’ll enlighten you OP- you’re a troll.

by Anonymousreply 212March 20, 2022 12:23 AM

R212, why a troll?

by Anonymousreply 213March 20, 2022 2:43 AM

You really don’t know why? Really?

by Anonymousreply 214March 20, 2022 2:51 AM

Not sure

by Anonymousreply 215March 26, 2022 10:41 PM

OP, You realize everyone isn't you, right?

[quote]It just does not make sense to me. Isn't the whole purpose of being gay is because you like MEN? So therefore how on earth could you find fems attractive? It defeats the whole purpose of being gay.

Being gay doesn't have a purpose. There are many kinds of gay men. Fems are gay men. There a lot of them. You think no other men should be attracted to them? I don't even know where to start, here. Are you mentally ill?

[quote] I also have to add that I do not understand men who are not versatile. Anyone that is just strictly a top or a bottom is an idiot.

An idiot? What is your problem?! Your intolerance of anyone who doesn't share your sexual preferences is weird.

by Anonymousreply 216March 27, 2022 3:01 AM

R216, What I say is true though. Why are you so offended?

by Anonymousreply 217March 27, 2022 4:16 AM

R217 Because he's a flamer

by Anonymousreply 218March 27, 2022 5:59 PM

Stop 🛑

by Anonymousreply 219March 27, 2022 7:38 PM

Not sure

by Anonymousreply 220March 28, 2022 7:07 PM

[quote]What I say is true though. Why are you so offended?

You're not describing me, so I'm not offended. I was slightly disgusted by what seemed like intolerance. But now I agree with the other poster who said you're a troll. You're looking to get a reaction, and and I guess I fell for it.

by Anonymousreply 221March 28, 2022 11:10 PM

Nope, I just wanted to hear different opinions

by Anonymousreply 222March 28, 2022 11:29 PM

Beats me, OP. Femmes are a major turn-off.

by Anonymousreply 223March 28, 2022 11:32 PM

As R41 said, not everyone is you. That's the answer.

by Anonymousreply 224March 28, 2022 11:50 PM

R224, everyone is me

by Anonymousreply 225March 29, 2022 7:07 AM

To answer your question, the ONLY men that are attracted to feminine men are bisexual. And that is the truth.

by Anonymousreply 226March 31, 2022 4:50 PM

[quote] It just does not make sense to me. Isn't the whole purpose of being gay is because you like MEN? So therefore how on earth could you find fems attractive? It defeats the whole purpose of being gay.

No it doesn’t, you idiot. They like dick. Stop bring a fucking misogynist. There isn’t one way to be a man.

by Anonymousreply 227March 31, 2022 5:04 PM

[quote] To answer your question, the ONLY men that are attracted to feminine men are bisexual. And that is the truth.

^ Runner-up for Retard of the Year.

by Anonymousreply 228March 31, 2022 5:04 PM

99% of gay men are effeminate.

by Anonymousreply 229March 31, 2022 5:05 PM

[quote] Anyone ever heard of fem guys lusting over other fem guys? Just wondering.

Most fem guys don’t think they’re dem. Most gay men are fem. Gay men are by and large flamers. They just don’t think they are.

by Anonymousreply 230March 31, 2022 5:06 PM

[quote] Until recently, guys would describe masculine gay guys as “straight acting.” That term has been retired as offensive, but the fact remains that when gay or bisexual guys describe themselves or potential romantic interests as masculine, they mean guys who appear or seem straight. In other words, guys who are not detectable by gaydar

These people are self-loathing. As stated enfless times, the minute they open their mouth a million purses drop out. Gay men are feminine. To find that offensive to find yourself offensive. You suck dick and take it up the ass.

by Anonymousreply 231March 31, 2022 5:08 PM

Because they’re sweethearts

by Anonymousreply 232March 31, 2022 5:26 PM

R228 You are the retard. And he's right btw

by Anonymousreply 233March 31, 2022 7:48 PM

Why are people saying most gay men are fem?

by Anonymousreply 234April 1, 2022 12:33 AM

It's like when chickens start pecking each other to death.

by Anonymousreply 235April 1, 2022 1:12 AM

R231, but total tops don’t do that. So what’s your point?

by Anonymousreply 236April 1, 2022 1:14 AM

First of all, how are we defining “fem” guys? Like outrageously faggy, such as walking with a swish and wearing makeup?

Because most gay men are not masculine at all. Many gay men speak with gay voice, which is instantly identifiable, and for me at least, an instant turnoff.

Are we also including gays with gay voice under the umbrella of this effeminate definition?

It makes sense that most gay men aren’t attracted to effeminate guys, because deep down, many gay men are effeminate themselves. Some hide it better than others, but most gay men are not naturally masculine in the way many straight guys are.

Guys who are effeminate but look like dudebros with muscles and beards are attractive to only a tiny subset of other men.

It’s the guys who are effeminate AND look feminine who pull the masculine, “straight” tops so many gay men lust after. Passable CD’s and pretty trans get more straight dick than they know what to do with.

by Anonymousreply 237April 1, 2022 1:52 AM

Also pet peeve — men can’t be “feminine” unless they are trans. The correct word, to describe many easily identifiably gay men is “effeminate” or “effete”.

by Anonymousreply 238April 1, 2022 2:03 AM

Then what do you call Rosie?

by Anonymousreply 239April 1, 2022 2:09 AM

R237, only bi guys go for fem guys

by Anonymousreply 240April 1, 2022 3:13 AM

[quote]the minute they open their mouth a million purses drop out. Gay men are feminine. To find that offensive to find yourself offensive. You suck dick and take it up the ass.

Except there are numerous examples of celebrities from entertainment, news, sports, etc. who are masculine.

by Anonymousreply 241April 1, 2022 3:47 AM

[R237] only bi guys go for fem guys

R240 And why is that? Can't wait to hear the logic.

by Anonymousreply 242April 1, 2022 3:48 AM

R242, because being gay means you are only attracted to masculinity. If you are a man attracted to femininity, you are either straight or bisexual. It's just common sense.

by Anonymousreply 243April 1, 2022 4:21 AM

Even if a man has a shaved head, muscles, a beard, body hair all over, tall, a strong face, tattoos, dresses butch, etc., IF his voice is obvious then he is still fem in my opinion!

Who agrees?

An obvious voice is the biggest boner killer for me and totally ruins everything regardless of any of the other attributes they may have...

by Anonymousreply 244April 1, 2022 7:38 PM

Yes, again the physical attributes are less important to most (unless a guy is wearing female clothing or styles) than how a guy Carries himself (interests, manner of walk, hand movements, sitting) and voice

by Anonymousreply 245April 1, 2022 8:13 PM

R245, what do you think are fem interests? Just wondering.

by Anonymousreply 246April 1, 2022 8:46 PM

Now we are getting somewhere

by Anonymousreply 247April 1, 2022 10:30 PM

R244 Agreed! Especially when the audio doesn't match the video, like in Roberto Bolle's case

by Anonymousreply 248April 2, 2022 12:43 AM

R248, just looked up Bolle and yes it's surprising and disappointing to hear that voice in comparison to his attractive appearance.

Anyone have any other examples of the audio not matching the video?

by Anonymousreply 249April 2, 2022 3:24 AM

R244, effeminate interests are interest associated with women, such as interior design, baking, sewing, fashion, theatre, shopping, or Additionally, most people consider stereotypical hobbies and activities to be effeminate, such as interest in divas and female singers, and generally, in certain tv shows and movies most men avoid.

by Anonymousreply 250April 2, 2022 5:29 AM

R249 Dr Mike: his voice is feminine AF. Add to that he's 32 and a half and still unmarried, childless and single (and the only women he occasionally "dates" are show biz fame whores as opposed to medical practitioners, hence BEARDS), and you just know he's gay

by Anonymousreply 251April 2, 2022 8:07 AM

R250, I like shopping, I could spend all day at auto wreckers pick and pull yards, crawling under wrecks in the mud grease and oil to find hard to get bits. Auto accessory outlets and speed shops too, I sometime score clothes there

Secretly I like it when my partner flatmate or friends have some minor car damage or issue, its an excuse to spend all day hunting for the perfect replacement bits that match up so I can make an undetectable repair and thay aint even out 20 bucks most times

Funnily enough I dont seem to get any fag hags keen to join me on my shopping trips

by Anonymousreply 252April 2, 2022 11:28 AM

"A serious question: Why are some gay men attracted to fems?"

Because we can.

by Anonymousreply 253April 2, 2022 11:41 AM

Apparently R250 has been going through my internet search history.

by Anonymousreply 254April 2, 2022 3:49 PM

R253 "Because we can" - GREAT fucking answer!

by Anonymousreply 255April 2, 2022 3:52 PM

R243 I'm 100% sure two of my friends who are dancers - I would consider them fem gays - aren't bi. They're attracted to each other. I know other guys like this. They're GAY.

by Anonymousreply 256April 2, 2022 4:00 PM

I should also add, I'm attracted to both masc men and fem men, and whatever is in-between.

by Anonymousreply 257April 2, 2022 4:03 PM

R255, v8fairy...are you fem? Just wondering.

by Anonymousreply 258April 2, 2022 7:44 PM

I think fems just act that way to get attention

by Anonymousreply 259April 2, 2022 11:08 PM


by Anonymousreply 260April 3, 2022 5:20 PM

R258 No, I just like to sleep with them

by Anonymousreply 261April 3, 2022 5:56 PM

Because they're gay

by Anonymousreply 262April 3, 2022 7:35 PM

Maybe because they are less intimidating than masc guys...

by Anonymousreply 263April 6, 2022 4:57 AM

R263 Maybe. With a masc dude, gay guys be like "You just know he'll shoot me down" and refrain from flirting altogether

by Anonymousreply 264April 6, 2022 6:34 AM

Careful OP, your internalized homophobia is showing

by Anonymousreply 265April 6, 2022 6:39 AM

R265, how am I homophobic considering I'm homosexual myself?

by Anonymousreply 266April 6, 2022 6:51 AM

R266 It's called internalized homophobia, Google it

by Anonymousreply 267April 6, 2022 7:10 AM

I’m the masculine type. My ex for two years was a fem and a top. Great sex

by Anonymousreply 268April 6, 2022 8:29 AM

In which way was he fem R268?

by Anonymousreply 269April 6, 2022 8:35 AM

[Quote]In which way was he fem [R268]?

R269 Probably like this.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 270April 6, 2022 9:03 AM

Because of personal orientation.

I fully believe there's more to being gay than sex acts. I don't understand why people don't acknowledge the obvious: gayness is more than fucking people of the same sex; it's a different way of being than heterosexual male or female ways of being.

I am obviously gay. Looking at home movies from when I was three years old, I was obviously gay. It was obvious by my movements, by my sensitivity, by my interests. I didn't have a sexual awakening until around age 12, yet it was clear to me that I was different than other boys, and it was clear to adults that I was most likely gay. (Although, as my mother always said, there was 'some possibility you were just an intellectual. A lot of them act gay even when they aren't.')

We all know what stereotypical gay mannerisms are. They're called effeminate in men and masculine in women because they're different than how straight people move, speak, etc., but they're also not exactly the same. Drag Race demonstrates this: a lot of gay men who are regarded as very 'effeminate,' once they put on women's clothing and makeup, should be indistinguishable from women in their behavior, but they are not; they're recognizably still gay. Gay men speak differently and move differently than both straight men and straight women, and the same is true of lesbians. A 'dykey' lesbian acts differently than a straight man—she just doesn't act the same as most women and so her behavior is called masculine, but it is not the same as straight male behavior, speech and thought.

So the first point is that gay men are not the same as women whether we are effeminate or more 'straight acting.' (Most gay men I have met who regard themselves as straight acting are very obviously gay both in voice and movements, by the way.)

Sexually speaking, to generalize, gay people are physically attracted to the same sex. Gay men, regardless of how we act, have the same anatomy as straight men and so there's no reason not to be attracted to a male body embodied by a gay-acting guy.

Beyond that, I think social psychology comes into play. Being a straight man still is perceived as more normal and people want to be seen as normal. All messaging we get all our lives about men is that masculine men are sexy and 'weaker' men are not. Most 'straight acting' gay men, who mostly are not straight acting, exercise fanatically to have a sexy 'masculine' body and they believe this makes them closer to a masculine straight ideal, and that is funny to me because as we get into adulthood most actually straight men stop working out entirely and become soft and squishy, while most adult men who have 'perfect' 'masculine' bodies are gay. A lot of psychological complexes and homophobia remain in our culture regardless of changing laws, and many gay men feel shame about being different than the norm for men and spend their lives trying to identify as and with straight men. Gay porn, ubiquitous now, reinforces these insecurities with 90-95 percent of storylines being about two straight men fucking, a gay guy coercing or blackmailing or otherwise tricking a straight man into sex, or seducing a straight man on the 'down low.' This has also created a ubiquitous thrill in hunting and trapping elusive prey—the satisfaction of conquering and converting the unwilling. I think a lot of religious fanatics obsessively seek out the same payoff in trying to convert people into their cults. It may be the same base psychological drive with different end goals.

by Anonymousreply 271April 6, 2022 9:25 AM

If fem men are really women to the op, then is he attracted to butch women who by his def is really a man?

by Anonymousreply 272April 6, 2022 9:57 AM

It’s the ‘softness’ of a femme

by Anonymousreply 273April 6, 2022 10:00 AM

This is what an actual average, typical masculine American man looks like. Gay men who think they are most attracted to straight or straight-acting men are engaged in serious self-delusion. They want gym queens or twinks, they just don't want them to have gay voices and 'swishiness' because when they hear the voice and see the movements, they see an accurate reflection of themselves and get mortified that they go through the world that way because it makes them feel like vulnerable freaks. Gay men need to get over it. Lots of gay women embrace their natural ways of being and are unabashedly butch, and the next progressive step for gay men is to forgive ourselves for our natures and accept who we are and stop hating others because we are afraid to admit we are not the same as straight men. We have different natures. That's it. Denial is really unattractive.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 274April 6, 2022 10:08 AM

R271 Bisexual men get erased

by Anonymousreply 275April 6, 2022 10:14 AM

I work with a young, adorable, very swishy and gay-acting guy with terrible self-esteem—he said he will keep wearing his mask after the pandemic is over "because I hate my ugly face"—and he is married to a woman. The whole thing is rather confusing, but setting aside the circumstances, he's VERY gay acting and may be gay or straight or bi or who knows, but on both a superficial level and on the level of knowing him, I find him very attractive.

People who draw a hard line around what they are willing to find attractive are closed minded for some reason, and I believe that that reason is some kind of self-hatred in most cases OR it's effectively a kind of classist bigotry. People who say "no fats" or "no Asians" or "no fems" are strict adherents to social norms of what is supposed to be attractive. Most people who have actually been in love have surprised themselves to discover that the kind of person they love doesn't fit their rigid expecations of their 'type.' It seems every gay man wants and expects to be with a man who looks like a supermodel, but most gay couples are like straight couples, letting themselves go and not being fanatically obsessed with appearances unless they are the type of couple who think "party and play" and longterm relationships go hand in hand.

by Anonymousreply 276April 6, 2022 10:37 AM

Sounds like pairing up ruins everything.

by Anonymousreply 277April 6, 2022 10:53 AM

R270 hot lil queen! I'd be all over that

R271 now theres a bunch of wisdom and insight y'all need to read

R273 gets it. The softness of most fems is something I find very alluring

R274 and more wisdom here - most straight guys really just arent that hot, and a lot are downright unsightly, the one in the pic you linked is a perfect example. I wouldnt find him attractive even if he had all the gay voice and swishiness that I do like - like what R248 said, the audio dont match the video and it just dont work right

R276 I have to admit I just dont find fat guys attractive although I dont go so far as to bluntly put "no fats" in a profile etc. Thats something people do have some control over though, whereas with fem mannerisms, not so much. That guy you work with sounds cute, and I know the type, I've encountered guys like that. Fucks up my dollar shop gaydar real good

by Anonymousreply 278April 6, 2022 11:36 AM

R271 makes a whole bunch of unfounded comments.

Yes, on the apps lots of swishy guys will say they are "straight acting" - not because they think they are but because they know it's better marketing.

But in real life there are plenty of guys who are not instantly clockable as gay. They are rarely DL's vision of "masc' - e.g., frat jocks or blue collar rednecks--few men, straight or gay match those stereotypes--but there's nothing overtly femme about them.

Similarly, a visceral dislike of femme gay men can be either a reaction to the fact that other than liking sex with men you have few common interests, or annoyance with the insistence that femme is the only authentic way to be gay.

In many ways it is similar to the reaction affluent, educated Black people have to more ghetto Blacks, especially when they are called out as "acting white" for going to a good college and having a professional job.

by Anonymousreply 279April 6, 2022 11:49 AM

For the billionth time, straight men don't have sex with men, no matter how femme the latter are.

by Anonymousreply 280April 6, 2022 11:50 AM

Yes, R280, because "gay" is a cursed-at-birth and/or no-escape proposition, right?

by Anonymousreply 281April 6, 2022 12:03 PM

To piss off idiots like you OP, that’s why.

by Anonymousreply 282April 6, 2022 12:55 PM

It's a pity that it would be so politically incorrect as to end someone's career, but I think a study that examined biological differences between effeminate gay men and more masculine-socialized gay men would be very interesting.

Ditto something that looked at environmental factors and coming out stories.

by Anonymousreply 283April 6, 2022 1:17 PM

R231- Where I’m from when effeminate men open their mouths 👄


by Anonymousreply 284April 6, 2022 1:23 PM

R273, just because a guy is hairy doesn't make them masc. Lots of fem guys are hairy.

by Anonymousreply 285April 6, 2022 10:58 PM

Are some guys attracted to fems because it makes them feel emasculated being with masc guys? Just wondering.

by Anonymousreply 286April 7, 2022 8:31 PM

Most masc gay man ever = Derek Scott

by Anonymousreply 287April 8, 2022 9:49 PM


by Anonymousreply 288April 10, 2022 1:09 AM

OP, are there foods that you don't like but other people do?

by Anonymousreply 289April 10, 2022 1:10 AM

Do any of you guys remember the "Boba Gay" - the guy on TikTok who reacted to drinking a boba drink ("bubble tea") a while ago - very fem and many here thought his personality was totally unattractive. Well, he looks like this. Look at the first picture (in shorts) - now tell me you would kick him out of bed just because he's fem.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 290April 10, 2022 2:58 AM

R290 I weuld

by Anonymousreply 291April 10, 2022 4:25 AM

R290, I would never do him under any circumstances...

by Anonymousreply 292April 10, 2022 4:41 AM


by Anonymousreply 293April 10, 2022 4:43 AM

Well I'm more interested in how cute he is than anything. Not saying I want to be his boyfriend (anyway, he has one) - but physically, his body is beautiful. I don't know what you guys are into, physically - to each his own I guess.

by Anonymousreply 294April 10, 2022 5:25 AM

R279 yes there are some guys that arent "clockable" at least to most. But some people do have incredibly good gaydar, precision instruments of the highest possible quality that can detect guys the rest of us wont. I've seen them in action, and its quite unnerving, and makes me envious with my dollar shop piece of shit gaydar

R283 I agree that would be a very interesting bit of research. Its a shame that so much study of biology and behaviour is off limits these days, its one of the worse things about modern society. No science should be career ending as long as nobody is injured against their will

Wow R290 that guy is just stunning, but then I do like fems anyway so I'm not really the target audience for your question

by Anonymousreply 295April 10, 2022 11:49 AM

R290, I automatically and involuntarily lose attraction to any male who displays effeminate characteristics. I’ve never been attracted to an effeminate guy. Many bi and gay guys are the same on this

by Anonymousreply 296April 10, 2022 11:52 AM

Fems give the gay community a bad name

by Anonymousreply 297April 10, 2022 5:34 PM

No, pups give the gay community a bad name.

by Anonymousreply 298April 10, 2022 5:53 PM

R298, what are pups?

by Anonymousreply 299April 10, 2022 6:34 PM

R299 I have this explains it for you because I sure as fuck cant

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 300April 10, 2022 6:36 PM

Fuck it, "have" should read "hope" - I hope this explains it for you

Here's another article. I still dont get it. Oh well. Each to their own and all that

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 301April 10, 2022 6:39 PM

Feminine gay guys can be absolute grenades in bed.

by Anonymousreply 302April 10, 2022 6:41 PM

Femmes are much more sensual

and know how to please their men...

in the bedroom

by Anonymousreply 303April 10, 2022 7:02 PM

R302, so? If I’m not attracted to them, it’s for nothing, meaningless. Morbidly obese people could be hot in bed, but I’m not attracted to them it is useless for me.

by Anonymousreply 304April 10, 2022 7:10 PM

It's ironic to see gay men being intolerant about being attracted to fems. It's not much different from homophobia from straight people who can't understand how gay men aren't attracted to women. Just accept there are all kinds of attractions.

by Anonymousreply 305April 10, 2022 7:50 PM


by Anonymousreply 306April 11, 2022 12:47 AM


by Anonymousreply 307April 12, 2022 12:21 AM


by Anonymousreply 308April 12, 2022 12:28 AM

Closet bisexuals

by Anonymousreply 309April 16, 2022 2:00 AM

Well, just needed to check in with a precise definition, not created by me. Urban dictionary: A man who likes a male. Yup that's me. Can't raise the ole' pole for girls, never could. I'm not bi. so, men who are like women, good people for sure. But not of sexual interest for me.

by Anonymousreply 310April 16, 2022 2:44 AM

But men who are like women are still males?

by Anonymousreply 311April 16, 2022 4:32 AM

It’s always the fem haters who start this shit and then twist it to say we’re trying to make them fuck fems. No. YOU are the ones constantly shitting on fem gay men when they were the real trailblazers for gay men.

by Anonymousreply 312April 16, 2022 11:48 AM

Sorry, everyone telling me to love up a fem. My dick can't hear you.

by Anonymousreply 313April 16, 2022 12:15 PM

R313 nobodys expecting you to, and thats just fine, more for me! Just treat em right just like you would anybody else that aint done you wrong

by Anonymousreply 314April 16, 2022 12:58 PM


by Anonymousreply 315April 16, 2022 2:14 PM

Providing that the bisexuals exist R315

by Anonymousreply 316April 16, 2022 2:20 PM

I saw a bisexual once.

by Anonymousreply 317April 16, 2022 2:21 PM


by Anonymousreply 318April 16, 2022 2:22 PM

It always astounds me how many bigots are on this forum.

by Anonymousreply 319April 16, 2022 2:25 PM


by Anonymousreply 320April 16, 2022 2:30 PM


by Anonymousreply 321April 16, 2022 2:38 PM

Would you call Troye Sivan a fem? Cause I find him attractive.

by Anonymousreply 322April 16, 2022 2:50 PM


by Anonymousreply 323April 16, 2022 3:11 PM

R323 Most of DL favorite are actually bisexuals. Fake gays.

by Anonymousreply 324April 16, 2022 4:02 PM


by Anonymousreply 325April 16, 2022 4:17 PM

Bisexuals. I don’t get them. Like being a vegetarian and craving steaks at the same time.

by Anonymousreply 326April 16, 2022 4:22 PM

Rr326 is dense

by Anonymousreply 327April 16, 2022 4:31 PM

R327 Offended hypersexual whore.

by Anonymousreply 328April 16, 2022 4:48 PM

Fem in the Adam Ant sense-hell yea!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 329April 16, 2022 6:42 PM


by Anonymousreply 330April 17, 2022 12:09 AM

I like guys with pretty faces, small waist and big booty

by Anonymousreply 331April 17, 2022 1:00 PM

R 331, I'm so sorry. Really I swear, it isn't so bad to be gay.

by Anonymousreply 332April 17, 2022 1:02 PM

r332 that's what I love though...big butts make me drool and if he's beautiful it sends me over the top. TBH I think most black/hispanic men are the same, (Im a POC) Masc guys are hot too, but pretty males with that shape are more rare and intriguing. I just want to get up in there

by Anonymousreply 333April 17, 2022 1:18 PM

Guess that big butts look better on black guys. In Europe small firm butt and narrow hips have always been considered as the ideal in males.

My mum has always praised Rod Stewart for having the most beautiful male butt.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 334April 17, 2022 3:36 PM

Fems are the meanest of the gays.

by Anonymousreply 335April 18, 2022 12:20 AM

Fems can relate to other fems.

by Anonymousreply 336April 18, 2022 10:54 AM


I’ve had the opposite experience. Fem gays have been nicer to me (maybe because they want my dick). Masc gays don’t want anything to do with me and shun me.

by Anonymousreply 337April 18, 2022 12:31 PM

I think effeminate gays are noticed more when they are mean than masculine guys. Society tends to think of mean fems as “nasty,” or “evil,” whereas mean masculine guys are viewed as strong or dominant, perhaps jerks. I think our disdain for male effeminancy is so strong that we view a fem guy who isn’t quiet or nice as especially nasty and repulsive.

by Anonymousreply 338April 18, 2022 3:16 PM

Or maybe they are just BITCHES?

by Anonymousreply 339April 18, 2022 3:17 PM

Also, I notice that a lot of effeminate guys tend to attack other men’s manhood or masculinity, often by using female pronouns and names against them, or otherwise taunting them as unmanly. Regular guys don’t want to be around who tends to do this, male or female.

by Anonymousreply 340April 18, 2022 3:21 PM


Most of the time, that’s not meant to be mean or nasty but playful and humorous.

by Anonymousreply 341April 18, 2022 3:24 PM

Perhaps, and only, amongst other men who appreciate that type of “humor.” But anyone with common sense knows that only a small subgroup of men are okay with it, and it’s risky if not dangerous to try that with other men or random men.

by Anonymousreply 342April 18, 2022 3:28 PM

[quote]R135 the mannerisms are a big part of what I find attractive - mincing, fey and queeny with gay voice and gay face are gonna get my interest for sure.

A sudden, frantic rustling ran through the hen house…

by Anonymousreply 343April 18, 2022 4:18 PM

This is Fem with attitude.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 344April 18, 2022 6:49 PM

R344, damn he is extremely fem

by Anonymousreply 345April 18, 2022 8:22 PM

R344 I like, I like a whole lot

by Anonymousreply 346April 18, 2022 9:33 PM

Honest question: Are fem men really transgenders but who are too afraid to transition?

by Anonymousreply 347April 18, 2022 10:52 PM


by Anonymousreply 348April 19, 2022 2:07 AM


by Anonymousreply 349April 19, 2022 5:01 AM


by Anonymousreply 350April 19, 2022 11:00 PM


by Anonymousreply 351April 20, 2022 6:16 AM


by Anonymousreply 352April 22, 2022 2:01 AM

Well, gay voice and exaggerate mannerism is not the most appealing thing. But a guy who has softer features and bit of androgynous style, is in touch with his feminine side and yet has masculine energy, like old Jagger did, is the most attractive kind of guy. Hypermasculine guys are just boring.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 353April 22, 2022 10:02 PM

Yes .

by Anonymousreply 354April 23, 2022 10:36 PM


by Anonymousreply 355April 25, 2022 6:03 AM

A serious question: why do people want to divide us so much?

by Anonymousreply 356April 25, 2022 12:41 PM

These threads are so predictable

"If I wanted a guy who acted like a woman, I'd just find a woman"

"You must be self-hating"

"Only Gold-Star Gays are truly gay. Everyone else is a bisexual"

"Femme culture IS gay culture"

"Yes, and femme culture is why so many guys remain in the closet or have nothing to do with the gay community"

"Femmes are just guys who can't be bothered to transition"

"All gays are femme. The ones who aren't are just hiding their true selves"

by Anonymousreply 357April 25, 2022 12:55 PM

Predictable, but they do reflect popular sentiment in the real world

by Anonymousreply 358April 25, 2022 1:21 PM

R358 you're absolutely right, they do reflect popular sentiment in the real world (and I seen it on here and all)

That said popular sentiment is all too often complete fucking horseshit, and that applies to both sides like what R357 pointed out

Live and let live y'all

by Anonymousreply 359April 25, 2022 4:08 PM

One way of defining fem is an emasculated male. A man who desires another man to fuck him is getting off on being emasculated. There is a disparaging attitude on this site for Queers who reject their virility for a soft and passive personna.I have always felt fortunate that my dainty Spanish physique and face matched my fem/emasculated persona. Although the fan base for dainty Queers is considerably smaller than the one that favors the "athletic dude next-door, or the hairy bull bottom. If one knows where to look and how to make one's self available there are plenty of REAL men who fuck sissies and have no interest in a bull Daddy screaming "fuck me."

by Anonymousreply 360April 25, 2022 8:02 PM

There's something wildly attractive about a fem guy who dares to be out, loud, and proud.

(But only if he has a nice bubble butt)

by Anonymousreply 361April 25, 2022 8:13 PM

Sent the dainty queers over here pls.

by Anonymousreply 362April 25, 2022 8:13 PM

You don't sound psychologically damaged at all R360, bless your heart.

by Anonymousreply 363April 26, 2022 12:57 AM

R360 Damn....you sounds hot! Your whole package sounds exactly what I like in a guy

by Anonymousreply 364April 26, 2022 7:04 PM

R362- Dainty Queens 👸 sounds like

Dairy Queen

by Anonymousreply 365April 26, 2022 7:08 PM


by Anonymousreply 366April 28, 2022 1:10 AM


by Anonymousreply 367May 1, 2022 2:43 AM


by Anonymousreply 368May 3, 2022 11:04 PM


by Anonymousreply 369May 4, 2022 1:09 AM

Most men are masculine, regardless of sexual orientation. Most women are feminine, regardless of sexual orientation. Fems and butch lesbians are a minority. It's not rocket science that they stand out and most won't find them attractive. A minority of us find them attractive. Unsurprisingly they never date each other as they also prefer masculine (gays) and feminine (lesbians). They write endless boring articles on how femme phobia is a thing. Grindr in particular is a company very invested on this narrative and no wonder they're going down.

by Anonymousreply 370May 11, 2022 10:22 PM

I'm a gay man and I've dated mostly bi men and have nothing bad to say that is out of the norm. DLers are very biphobic.

by Anonymousreply 371May 11, 2022 10:25 PM

Two masculine men understand each other more than the other way around. Men an women are completely different, why would a gay person go after a male that reproduces the worst women has to offer? There's a reason most males spend more time with each other than with their wives. Women know it thats why they're always so miserable. Femmes know it too, that's why they hate masculine gay men.

by Anonymousreply 372May 11, 2022 10:45 PM

I LOVE femtops

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 373May 11, 2022 10:50 PM

R372 Excellent points

by Anonymousreply 374May 11, 2022 11:18 PM

R373, what makes him fem? Just wondering

by Anonymousreply 375May 12, 2022 1:16 AM

Have you seen him talk? Seen his gestures and mannerisms?

by Anonymousreply 376May 13, 2022 12:22 AM

They're not

by Anonymousreply 377May 18, 2022 7:38 PM

I like all kinds of men, fem or not. If he has a hot ass and pleasant personality, I’d gladly fuck him.

by Anonymousreply 378May 18, 2022 8:31 PM

R378, what about their penis?

by Anonymousreply 379May 18, 2022 9:46 PM

R378 wants to point out that he is not interested in cock, cause he is totsl too. Liar, cause if he was, he would be fucking ladies.

by Anonymousreply 380May 18, 2022 10:35 PM


by Anonymousreply 381May 19, 2022 6:36 AM

R380. If he was interesting cock, he would be fucking ladies?

by Anonymousreply 382May 21, 2022 4:04 PM

*Sorry, I thought I typed "interested in"...

by Anonymousreply 383May 21, 2022 4:04 PM

Still, he was interesting cock. In my book.

by Anonymousreply 384May 21, 2022 5:45 PM

They are not gay...they are bisexual.

by Anonymousreply 385May 27, 2022 9:33 PM


by Anonymousreply 386June 6, 2022 10:26 PM


by Anonymousreply 387June 10, 2022 4:10 AM

I don't know

by Anonymousreply 388June 17, 2022 1:23 AM


by Anonymousreply 389June 18, 2022 6:13 AM


by Anonymousreply 390July 13, 2022 4:36 AM

I have friends who are fems. Their boyfriends are not bisexual. In a lot of cases, Fems go out with other fems.

by Anonymousreply 391July 13, 2022 7:03 AM


by Anonymousreply 392July 15, 2022 11:31 PM

[quote]In a lot of cases, Fems go out with other fems.

Indeed, R391, and such couples are almost unbearable to be around for any length of time, if at all. The level of drama and "extra"-ness is overpowering.

by Anonymousreply 393July 15, 2022 11:35 PM


by Anonymousreply 394July 16, 2022 4:34 AM


by Anonymousreply 395July 23, 2022 1:20 AM

They are afraid of feeling emasculated.

by Anonymousreply 396July 23, 2022 5:50 PM

Some men are socialized that the only way they can stick their dick into a man is only if that man is as close to a woman as possible.

by Anonymousreply 397July 23, 2022 5:53 PM

R397, true

by Anonymousreply 398July 24, 2022 2:34 AM


by Anonymousreply 399July 25, 2022 2:26 AM


by Anonymousreply 400July 26, 2022 9:45 PM

None r

by Anonymousreply 401August 4, 2022 6:14 PM

Why is anyone attracted to anyone, and why do you care?

by Anonymousreply 402August 5, 2022 12:00 AM


by Anonymousreply 403August 19, 2022 12:08 AM


by Anonymousreply 404September 1, 2022 9:28 PM

Are these men that are attracted to fems also attracted to trans?

by Anonymousreply 405September 26, 2022 4:51 AM

[quote] P.S.: I am a masculine gay man myself

Sure you are, Mary.

by Anonymousreply 406September 26, 2022 4:59 AM

OP, if all gay men were attracted to masculinity only, we'd all be wild to fuck Lea DeLaria.

Me, I prefer something with a penis, which is more important to me than acting butch (though I prefer a combination of both a penis and butchness). but a lack of butchness is not a dealbreaker the way the lack of a penis is.

by Anonymousreply 407September 26, 2022 5:44 AM

Well frankly you're out of touch with the entire history of gay men.

There has always been a top/bottom dichotomy. Butch and femme. Read a John Rechy novel!

I'm a masculine top. I have no interest in men with bulging muscles. That's a complete turnoff to me.

I like my guy to be male! No shrill femininity. But I love a boyish softness in a man.

I have no interest in guys in drag. I want him to be all male. But yeah, a sweet somewhat effeminate boy is very attractive to me.

And by "boy" I mean a young adult male of course.

by Anonymousreply 408September 26, 2022 7:39 AM

R408, you should watch Adventures Of Zach And B on YouTube.

by Anonymousreply 409September 26, 2022 6:18 PM

R408, you should watch Adventures Of Zach And B on YouTube.

by Anonymousreply 410September 26, 2022 6:18 PM

R408, you should watch Adventures Of Zach And B on YouTube.

by Anonymousreply 411September 26, 2022 6:18 PM

r409 r410 r411 Lololol.

by Anonymousreply 412September 26, 2022 7:07 PM

No idea OP, but fems are gross.

by Anonymousreply 413September 26, 2022 8:03 PM

R413, agreed

by Anonymousreply 414October 9, 2022 9:09 PM


by Anonymousreply 415October 12, 2022 4:20 AM

r413 r414 r415 Great, that leaves more sweet soft guys for me. Kinda pretentious to call others' sexual preferences "sad" though. As if.

by Anonymousreply 416October 12, 2022 7:05 AM

Be kind

by Anonymousreply 417October 15, 2022 1:02 PM


by Anonymousreply 418October 28, 2022 7:19 PM

[quote] Dunno

All due respect r418 but that's a very dumb answer.

by Anonymousreply 419October 28, 2022 9:16 PM


by Anonymousreply 420October 31, 2022 3:02 AM

R419 it isnt half as dumb as some of the other answers on here. R418 doesnt know the answer and is admitting as such. Better that answer than one that is completely wrong and counter factual

by Anonymousreply 421October 31, 2022 6:07 AM

r421 No, Fairy, it's actually offensive. The implication is that fems can't possibly be attractive. I find soft effeminate guys quite attractive. To each his own and don't judge others attractions as if only your tastes are legitimate.

I'm not particularly attracted to east Asian guys. But if someone asks why others are, I don't say "dunno" like a racist dumbass as if others views are illegitimate.

If r418 has nothing to add, then he should STFU. 🤣


by Anonymousreply 422October 31, 2022 6:27 AM

R422 Triggered much, pussy?

by Anonymousreply 423October 31, 2022 7:24 AM

[r423] Nah, I just don't have patience for dullards. Now bend over and spread your cheeks, fuckwit. You gotta be good for something. 🤣

by Anonymousreply 424October 31, 2022 7:27 AM

Bi men are gross.

by Anonymousreply 425October 31, 2022 7:41 AM

r424 Reported and sued, you femboy. Transition and gtfo!

by Anonymousreply 426October 31, 2022 8:35 AM

Uh, r426, opposites attract. I'm old school butch, not fem. That's why I prefer fem guys to the muscle men you faggots keep touting.

Also, and I see this over and over here, effeminacy has nothing to do with transgender. Fem guys love dicks.

by Anonymousreply 427October 31, 2022 8:01 PM

r427 Reported and sued again for calling me the f word. You disgusting shemale

by Anonymousreply 428October 31, 2022 10:18 PM

r428 Huh? I refuse to give the "'f' word" power, coward.

But calling another gay man a "disgusting shemale" is fine with you? Got it, hypocrite.

For the record I didn't report your juvenile insult.

by Anonymousreply 429November 1, 2022 2:16 AM

What is the definition of fem?

by Anonymousreply 430November 15, 2022 6:56 PM


by Anonymousreply 431November 15, 2022 11:40 PM

Another question, how are some gay men not attracted to masculine men?

For those that are not attracted to them, I bet they are more bi than gay.

by Anonymousreply 432November 16, 2022 3:25 PM


by Anonymousreply 433November 16, 2022 10:03 PM

R432, I think some aggressive tops like a petit, soft, feminine bottom. It's about power more than gender.

Some straight men like masculine, dominant women. Not any straight man I would be interested in (if I were female), but some do.

by Anonymousreply 434November 16, 2022 11:15 PM

Any guys think Richard Simmons is hot?

by Anonymousreply 435November 18, 2022 8:18 PM

[quote] Any guys think Richard Simmons is hot?

The fem has to be attractive.

by Anonymousreply 436November 18, 2022 11:31 PM

R424 Kinda like some 7 footers be dating them 5'2" wimmin because they're "portable", easy to pick up (and beat up), only to produce short-ass sons

by Anonymousreply 437November 19, 2022 3:03 AM

R435 40 years back yeah maybe. But not now

by Anonymousreply 438November 19, 2022 9:16 AM

r435 r438 No, Richard Simmons was grotie 40 years ago too. 🤣

by Anonymousreply 439November 19, 2022 9:23 PM

Have there ever been gay male relationships with the masc guy as the bottom and the fem guy as the top?

Just curious to know.

by Anonymousreply 440November 20, 2022 9:17 PM

Never R440 it’s never happened ever, not even once, in all of human social history.

by Anonymousreply 441November 20, 2022 11:23 PM

r441 Hahaha

r440 Be a top. Be a bottom. But don't switch back and forth. Versatile defeats the purpose.

by Anonymousreply 442November 21, 2022 1:44 AM

R442, why do you think being versatile defeats the purpose? Just wondering

by Anonymousreply 443November 21, 2022 2:40 AM

r443 If I bottom it takes all the fun out of it if I know the top just had a big black dick up his ass. It ruins the fantasy.

by Anonymousreply 444November 21, 2022 6:40 AM

[quote]I agree that "mental masculinity" counts much more than hypermasculine act.

Agree. Shallow DL bitches often look down and talk with contempt about Asians claiming they are fem, because of their smaller and more delicate stature. While Asians generally have the most masculine minds, quiet, resilient, problem solving, logical, mathematically oriented. Instead of whining and playing victims they adapt and soon become most successful citizens whenever they move to.

Similarly, west and north European men also tend to have rational, logical, masculine mind, though generally they are not the most masculine looking guys around.

On the other hand, Blacks, Arabs and my fellow Balkanic men have the most hypermasculine act and physicality, yet they often lack rationality, individuality, they tend to be hysterical like old aunties, whine and complain, like to self victimize and be taken care of by the state, family, tribe etc.

Seems that, if you want a real man you can rely upon and not a macho who will turn out to be pussy when first difficulty emerges, you should go for more mainstream guys.

If you just want a good pounding, that is another thing.

by Anonymousreply 445November 21, 2022 9:19 AM

r445 Makes ZERO sense. You fuck somebody's body, not mind

by Anonymousreply 446November 21, 2022 9:39 AM

R446 But masculinity is composed of body and mind, it is not only on surface. I have mentioned that guy with hyper masculine act can be good for one night stand, but for something more, you would probably want the real deal, not an act. As, if somebody is into doctors would he want a real MD or an actor who plays the doctor in ER?

by Anonymousreply 447November 21, 2022 11:02 AM

I wonder why so many people are offended by this.

by Anonymousreply 448November 25, 2022 12:51 AM

r448 Because so many of these fools don't understand the top/bottom dichotomy.

Hatin' on our swishy limpwristed bros. Not kewl. 🤣

by Anonymousreply 449November 25, 2022 3:39 AM

R449 = fem

by Anonymousreply 450November 25, 2022 6:56 PM

No, Masc, you Yasss Queen! 🤣

by Anonymousreply 451November 25, 2022 6:59 PM

What is the true definition of masculine?

by Anonymousreply 452November 27, 2022 10:27 PM

Rock Hudson hated fems.

by Anonymousreply 453December 9, 2022 5:25 AM

What is the definition of fem?

by Anonymousreply 454December 9, 2022 5:35 AM

[quote] Rock Hudson hated fems.

r453 Quote please? What's your source?

by Anonymousreply 455December 9, 2022 7:19 AM

His biographer that knew him and his close friends said all of the men he was with could have easily passed for straight.

Mamie Van Doren said he liked his men straight.

Marc Christian said he liked masculine men because that's what he was.

He was also known for hitting on straight/masculine men.

Among other people said similar things about him.

by Anonymousreply 456December 9, 2022 2:16 PM

r456 Even if it's true, which sounds more like het speculation than anything, none of that means that Rock "hated fems".

by Anonymousreply 457December 9, 2022 7:43 PM

Clift hated fems

by Anonymousreply 458December 12, 2022 4:41 AM


by Anonymousreply 459December 26, 2022 11:45 PM

Stupid thread. Almost as bad as the imperfect nose thread. Bring back Sodomy Laws!*

*just kidding

by Anonymousreply 460December 27, 2022 7:24 PM

R460, why a stupid thread?

by Anonymousreply 461December 30, 2022 9:22 PM

r461 Because quite a few gay men are fems. Be real. And we know almost half the guys on DL are fems. We all have fem friends.

Yeah, everyone likes the masculine hunk. That's a given.

But any gay mutherfucker who lives in the real world has fucked quite a few fem guys. Otherwise, half of all gay guys would be virgins.

Dude, there are a lot of cute fems. There's the whole butch/fem top/bottom dichotomy.

Threads like this are why I roll my gay eyes at DL sometimes.

by Anonymousreply 462December 31, 2022 2:11 AM

Come on, admit how many of you have been fucked by a fem top.

by Anonymousreply 463December 31, 2022 6:59 AM


by Anonymousreply 464January 13, 2023 3:41 AM

Cuz they are bi or pan

by Anonymousreply 465January 17, 2023 12:02 AM

I don’t know any gay men who prefer effeminate guys. Not even effeminate men themselves.

by Anonymousreply 466January 17, 2023 12:12 AM


by Anonymousreply 467January 19, 2023 12:10 AM

R466, so true!

by Anonymousreply 468January 19, 2023 12:22 AM


by Anonymousreply 469January 26, 2023 9:52 PM

Not all are

by Anonymousreply 470January 28, 2023 6:01 AM

Is Mike attracted to fems?

by Anonymousreply 471January 29, 2023 1:33 AM


by Anonymousreply 472April 16, 2023 1:02 PM

R84- Just like there aren't enough tops to go around.

by Anonymousreply 473November 9, 2023 4:04 AM

Because of their beauty. Generally I don't like masculinity. Henry Cavill is an exception.

by Anonymousreply 474November 10, 2023 4:49 AM

R474 That right there is a real good answer.... but yeah Henry Cavill is real pretty too, there are a few other somewhat masc guys I am attracted to as well

by Anonymousreply 475November 10, 2023 11:21 PM
Need more help? Click Here.

Yes indeed, we too use "cookies." Take a look at our privacy/terms or if you just want to see the damn site without all this bureaucratic nonsense, click ACCEPT. Otherwise, you'll just have to find some other site for your pointless bitchery needs.


Become a contributor - post when you want with no ads!