Is being an "empath" really real?

Go to youtube and key in Dr Ramani. The woman has more podcasts on narcissists than Meghan Markle has skeletons in her bejewelled closet.

It's real. I wish I could give it back. Ignorance is bliss.

Think Audrey Hepburn, OP, you sad slab of of flesh.

That's the thing - nobody talks about the downside of empathy which is poor judgement. You can have empathy for just about anyone but having empathy means having a harder time stepping back and seeing things clearly.

Empathy is a survival tool, usually developed in childhood, meant to help navigate your environment when faced with unstable and abusive personalities. It’s not the cutesy thing that the tumblr generation uses for a personality, to bring attention back onto themselves, or to play the victim when they’re just being avoidant.

No, but "empaths" are very good at pretending.

Empaths are from Star Trek.

[quote]Empaths don't just pick up the energy of people but even physical spaces as well. Richardson notes an empath will be very affected by particular spaces and how they're maintained. This can be a good or bad thing, with a positive environment feeling very uplifting but a negative one feeling particularly suffocating.

I'm like this. I walked into a Big Lots store once and it was overwhelmingly depressing. I've never gone back into one.

An "empath". Lmfao.

Take a common character trait and give it a name so insecure attention seekers can claim to be special. Everyone has to be 'something' these days. Yawn.

Yeah it seems like a lot of scrap to me too. For some reason when I hear people say they're empathic, it irritates the hell out of me.

Well, it's kind of a burden as well as a blessing to have this. When I was around 10 years old, I could just feel based on how my father was acting, that he was going to try to kill himself. I event told my sister who got pissed at me for saying that. And what do you know, about 2 weeks later, he did try.

I have a sense about things before they happen a lot now. And yes, I was brought up in a highly unstable environment so learning how to predict behaviors based on subtle signs was a survival tool.

Today, it helps me to really connect with people on levels that most cannot. If I had a dime for each time someone started a conversation with me with, "I don't know why I'm going to tell you this, but.." I'd be very rich. People admit shit to me that they would never tell others. And the reason is, it's because I can empathize and am open about it. I love that it has given me such rich relationships with my friends, but the downside is, I suffer from depression and anxiety and always try to predict the outcomes of things...which often can be self sabotaging. My sister is the exact opposite of me and says most of the time she struggles with feeling anything at all. It's fascinating to me how, because she was older when we experienced the same traumas, her more developed brain taught her how to shut down her emotions, whereas my less developed brain made me feel every fucking thing.

The real freaks are those who think being able to emphasize is a bad thing.

They never seem to be able to empath my disdain and contempt for their touchy-feely bullshit.

We do, we just don't feel on your negativity.

Well those who aren't empaths are going to deny it exists.

Being an empath is completely different than having empathy for people. Empaths feel energies. Both living and dead.

Empaths pick up and absorb energy fro others and things. As a colorist at a new shop, I marveled at the stitching of the senior staff’s aprons. But when I went to touch it I was shocked to have a very clear vision of the woman sewing it, and the warehouse she was in because it seemed like a completely different era and that didn’t make any sense because the apron was brand new! The vision was clear and crisp as television.

I called the number to order one, but they wanted $10 shipping and it was in the Bronx, my curiosity was piqued. so I told them I would go pick it up instead. “No one ever comes here!” the rep said.

I arrived at an old warehouse in a neighborhood that looked bombed out, and up to the top of the stairs and an old metal door. When it opened, I walked in to exactly what I saw in the vision, a warehouse space from the 80’s and an old gay Jewish guy that ran it.

He proudly displayed all the old advertisements behind him on the wall,his family’s apron company going back to the 20’s.

Aldan Apron. They made all the custom robes for the high end salons throughout NYC and that apron lasted me YEARS.

Good god, we literally are headed for a dark ages.

From the 20’s, not 80’s.

One important part of being empath is grounding, walk barefoot on the ground to release negativity back into the earth, breathing deeply and stretching arms up in the air.

Also, be careful taking advice as an empath, because you accept others’ spoken word as truth, openly and thoroughly.

You create a healthy boundary or halt connections with narcissistic people by stating, “I appreciate your opinion”, or “that’s not my preference”.

[quote]I think empath might just be code for codependent with poor boundaries .

I will have you EJECTED into SPACE!

Such bullshit R17

R18, I really thought being an empath was bullshit too until I walked into that warehouse.

I also think everyone has abilities, if they’re nurtured while you are young they persist but are like muscles can atrophy if not exercised. Others are spurred by near death or drug induced experiences.

It's real. I'm an emotional and animal empath. I work with troubled people and animal rescue. It's a gift that is also a curse unless you can manage to turn it off sometimes.

And -- the DL will love this -- BOUNDARIES. So fucking important. I have to state them often, mostly to myself.

No, I'm not lesbian.

Empaths pick up signs others may be oblivious to. You could say great and successful detectives are empaths, because they can spot the most incriminating evidence, have fantastic deduction skills and can read people's body language and pick apart one's responses and reactions. Empaths make great fortune-tellers, sales people, and shrinks because they know which buttons to push to get what they want out of a potential client or customer or get to the bottom of a patient's, or client's, issue or issues. They know how to talk to people and how to convey trust, so people tell them more than they might be willing to share initially.

The total opposite would be those on the spectrum who can't read people's cues or facial expressions and make everybody uncomfortable for not having any filter or are unaware of having crossed any lines during a conversation.

R12 needs more love in this thread, which is clearly full of the freaks he describes.

Empaths are largely stupid people who will take the side of a killer over the victims of the killer just because they empathize with the killer. Or to use a less extreme example they will choose to save 1 person they personally know (and empathize with) over 50 people they don't know because it's 'statistics'.

@ R26

It’s bullshit. I’ve seen hateful, mean-spirited people online several times claim to be empathic when they’re clearly nothing of the sort.

R27 then why are there actual studies that have found that to be true (see link)?

[R28], just because some people say they are, but aren’t, does not mean true empaths don’t exist.

Dogs have empath characteristics. They know when people are upset, angry, ill etc. and respond accordingly.

R30 Empaths do exist but they're dumb compared to people who have compassion. Compassion is the way to go. It offers the distance that empathy doesn't have, but also sympathy.

Both compassion and empathy come from feeling. Compassion is normally more tooted in imagination; empathy is direct feeling.

* rooted, not tooted

But empathy can't judge properly/fairly because it only sees things from the point of view of the person they have empathy with.

Compassion really is the best way to go.

I think the ideal of being an empath in this day and age has been blown apart by people trying to make money or prestige out of it. “being empathetic” and being an empath are two different things because you can shut down being empathetic. Often empaths cannot create solid boundaries or be truly selfish. I can’t. I do need to comport it in a way that is productive and redeeming.

I agree that you need to find a way to curtail or contain it into a life constructively- or yes, it could be construed as being delusional, grandiose or mental illness. Many strong empaths have issues when young because it’s misunderstood or seen has having “powers” over others. It’s so NOT.

It’s very much a mixed bag. I also have the gift of seeing when a woman is pregnant, literally day one of conception- and though it saved a friend that had a tubular pregnancy, it is SO NOT a super power… it also got me into a lot of trouble!

Feeling someone's energy and having empathy for them are two entirely different things.

It didn't work out for Cordelia on Angel.

eldersage sounds crazy, or is it just me?

Sadly, most of the people that talk about being empaths are narcissistic New Age types. But there is definitely something to it. Some people, like myself, simply have a heightened sensitive (I think they call it being a “highly sensitive person” now) and can easily “read” what others are thinking and feeling. It’s like you can zero through all pretense and often understand a person and what they’re feeling more than perhaps they do. That is very much a double edged sword. It’s not an easy thing to live with. It can be exhausting being around people and you have a tendency to “lose yourself” a bit in others. I wish I was more “insensitive” and had stronger boundaries.

Being an empath is one skill one can use to observe his surroundings. It can be a useful extra skill on top of all the others we have, including our basic sensory skills.

One can make a much better, more informed, choice that way.

Empathy is an observing skill, compassion is an emotion, and you can act on it (like, treating people more gentle).

R40 what a load of crap. Empathy is literally about experiencing the emotions that someone feels. Compassion is more about distanced but sympathetic observation.

R38, I’ll take it as a compliment! I’ve had a great life, done amazing things, plenty of turbulence and skirted with a lot of danger.

I’ve also seen a lot of things a gal’s not supposed to see!

R42 It's not a compliment. Crazy people just.. sound crazy. It's not really a good thing.

Empaths are real but they need years of therapy to rewire themselves. It often comes with being bpd. It isn’t this “Im so sensitive I feel all around me” stuff the kiddos pretend it is on the tick tock. Its a real pathology and not a good one.

R38 Eldersage is one of the 3 people on this website who has the balls to post who they are. Lets not start the pile-on.

R45 I don't give a fuck who posts with a still-anonymous username or not. I treat them the same I would anyone else.

ELderSage, I appreciate your input. It is a mixed bag like any other personality trait.

sadly, people and social media being what they are, anyone who posts a name is going to attract haters

R46 You sound like a bully. Like Trump. Lol

R48 But I am not a 'hater'. I have never targeted ElderSage before (or anyone else with an username). I genuinely just took the posts for what they claimed.

[quote] what a load of crap. Empathy is literally about experiencing the emotions that someone feels.

That's where you are wrong.

Empathy is the ability and readiness to recognize and understand thoughts, emotions, motives, and personality traits of another person. Empathy also includes reacting to the feelings of others, such as pity, grief, pain, or impulse.

It's a skill to understand where the other person is coming from or what he or she is struggling with. It's not some mumbo-jumbo where you get in each others' bodies or minds like some magic spell or witchcraft.

I am a dimpath, I can’t see shit around me unless it’s brightly lit.

R43, if I went back to 1600’s with the technology we have today, they would’ve burned me at the stake for being a witch.

There are other dimensions, energies and truths that run alongside ours and what we already understand today.

It’s easy to dismiss this as “crazy” but they DO exist waiting to be discovered just like the iPhone.

R53 Because I have compassion, I would never 'burn' someone for sounding crazy. I have understanding that they are kind of dumb/crazy. It's they way they are.

OK, R50, I accept that. My comment was not directly aimed at you, more what I've learned generally from 20+ years on the DL.

DARK AGES

People have complained I kiss and hug too much.

[quote] Is being an "empath" really real?

No. They’re narcissists projecting themselves and their creepy personalities on to others. Avoid.

"Empath" is their protective bubble.

I think a few mothers should’ve held a few of you more often!

Not sure how I am a sad slab of flesh, R3. I have always felt compassion for suffering people, animals, you name it. Does that make me an "empath"? I'm sorry, but I think these articles are a bit mystifying. People trying to make themselves feel more special than they actually are. Like creating a cosmic caste system with empaths ruling at the top. Rolls eyes. But judging from your comment, you needn't worry about being given that dubious honor. I think compassion should be a given for self and others, not be codified in some bullshit mystical system so you can feel smug and superior. Hope that's crystal clear.

Empathy is real. Empaths are not.

Going by the description in OP's article, this seems to be a fancy way of self-description for charlatans or schizotypals...

The second someone states that they are an "empath," I immediately dismiss anything they have to say.

It's actually the most self-centered and narcissistic thing to believe that you can feel what someone else feels.

No honey, you are not an empathy. You're an attention seeking narcissist who has to make everything about yourself, including whatever emotional pain or grief someone else is feeling.

I agree with that! And if empathy is feeling what others feel - makes no sense really, we aren't actually living in their shoes.

I would never call myself an empath in the interest of being “better” than someone else.

If anything, being empathetic can be absolutely ruinous to someone that doesn’t realize they are because they’re easy prey to capitalize on.

Everyone, yes everyone has these kinds of gifts different, I’ve seen and experienced all sorts of stuff that could be quickly dismissed as “crazy”.

I’d have to question people that are so vehemently against it,

who hurt you?

I don't worry about it, R65.

It's sorta like someone deaf telling me that music can't stir your emotions: sorry, my experience is different.

Empaths are witches. But not the fun kind.

When something says "I'm an empath", they are really just telling you they are a psychopath.

There's nothing wrong with empathy when it's the real thing. I have family members who always pretend to have empathy for every person they encounter and every tragic story they hear and read, when in reality they use every opportunity to make it about themselves. "Larry fell off the ladder and got a horrible concussion. I haven't been able to sleep or eat since I heard of his accident. It's so dangerous. Just last week I was on the ladder changing a lightbulb. It could have been me!"

To them, I am naturally an awful person, because I can eat and sleep after hearing about Larry's tragedy.

"This type of Narcissist is usually very smart, and will search for an intellectual understanding of why they feel so harmed by the world, and also look for greater understanding in psychology and spirituality, as a beacon of insulation from accountability for their relationship dramas and overall accountability."

R57, are you Harvey Weinstein?

A sociopath has more motivation to use every skill and condition to get what he wants. A lazy fuck who lacks ambition can't be bothered to care about other people and what they want.

And a person who shows empathy is not necessarily a sociopath. He or she is just more aware of their surroundings and can act accordingly. They can sense when someone IS a sociopath who is just pushing people's buttons to get what he wants. I guess that's what some DLers really are afraid of: Being found out.

Based on the two people I knew who called themselves empaths, I'm inclined to agree with R63. They had opposite personalities - one was sheepish, the other more boisterous - but they both would end up making everything about them, especially if it involved stories where they could paint themselves as a victim.

Another thing I noticed was that their supposed insight and understanding of other people was just a lot of projection.

it always amazes me that people that don't have certain gifts can claim that the gifts are non existent. If you don't have any of the the gifts how do you know they're not real? just because you don't have it doesn't mean others don't.

Someone handed me a folded up check once and as soon as I touched it I felt overwhelming depressed. I did not know who the check was from until I opened it. It was from a man whose wife had committed suicide 2 weeks earlier.

I have gifts that I have tried not to nurture but I know they're real. Sometimes I can hear what people are thinking, which always scares the crap out of me. It also scares me because if I can hear it how many others are out there that can hear what others or I am thinking. I also have a heightened degree of knowing if people are good or bad by either looking at them or listening to them for a few minutes. I try to only use my gifts for those that I care about. I don't want all the garbage that can come with all the psychic stuff.

Fear of the unknown. Burn the witch = Grease fire on DL. Village idiots expressing the need to be part of conversations and discussions way beyond their comprehension and demanding that their lackluster contributions be validated properly.

I am a master at reading people. I can and have detected psychopaths from a mile away which has saved me a shit ton of grief. I would consider myself empathetic but I'm also very stand-offish until I know what I'm dealing with and if I want to pursue any relationship with a person. I think my empathy is much stronger for animals. I don't like people very much anymore after a lifetime of watching how rotten so many people are. I don't buy that you can touch something and tap into their feelings, that is a bunch of woo woo. I agree with most here that it is just another label people are calling themselves.

There is an enormous chasm between having empathy for others and the narcissistic self-aborption necessary to claim one is an "empath".

Having empathy for other focuses attention on the OTHER person.

Claiming one is an "empath" is to divert focus onto yourself.

What about lightworkers? They seem to run in the same circles as the empaths.

R74, has it occurred to you that you might just have imagined things? Or that you have a personality style that is prone to magical thinking, creating associations and meaning from random occurrences, and ideas of reference?

I have this problem, and yes it is a burden. Feeling the energy of homes, buildings, and people can be draining. When I has house hunting I walked into what seemed to be a lovely homes, and once I got inside they just feel "off". One was so bad my partner, and the agent felt it too. Thick heavy air that felt static charged, the feeling of being watched, stuffy ears, and goose bumps. I later looked up the address of the house, and found out there was a father who killed his entire family on Christmas in the house.

r79 do you have anything in your life that you know to be true but can't prove it to anyone else? I don't have to think I just imagined it because I know I didn't. Sometimes there are things that you just know.

I have an antique vase. It is marked on the bottom by what looks like 6 tiny pin pricks. I studied those under magnification for 3 months until I decided and knew that it was marked Minton. I also knew that no one else would ever look at it and believe me but I didn't care. Moving forward 3 years. I was on youtube and saw a picture of my vase. It didn't say anything under the picture but I clicked on it and it took me to the Museum of Modern Art. There was my vase and you know who made it? Minton. There are things in your life that you just Know.

Empathy is the new curated and bespoke.

Empath is just another form of psychic ability. I used to deliver newspaper bundles to the carriers at night. I had one house that I delivered to that I just hated. I would stand on the sidewalk and fling the bundle at the house so I wouldn't have to get near the house. I was always waiting for little demons to come out from behind the bushes . The house scared the crap out of me.

One night I saw that the house had been deleted from my deliveries and I was so happy. I asked why it was removed and they told me that the 12 year old delivery boy that I delivered to had committed suicide with a shotgun. I Knew it had to do with what was in that house.

10 years later a friend asked me if I wanted to look at a house they were thinking about buying and I said sure. I was horrified when we pulled up because it was "the" house. I said you do Not want to buy this house and was trying to figure out how to convince her not to buy it when her 8 year old daughter said to her, "I don't like this house, it's creepy." That did it and I was relieved.

psychic ability is instinct and we were given it for a reason. Some people are able to just enhance it more than others. We all have it but to different degrees.

Some people have developed a keen sensitivity to the moods of others as a survival skill, in childhood.

I’m one.

I sense deep pain, Captain!

R63 has it 100% correct.

Also, empaths are up there with ghost hunters and mediums. They’re grifters and con men.

Me too R84. Perhaps I was born with this temperament or formed by upbringing. I have learned to manage it and use it for good in my work. In my private life, I have learned to create buffers and turn off my head....for those interested, it can feel like overactive brain but in feelings. I have to talk myself down sometimes when I am facing an anxious setting. I’m great in a crisis and very clearheaded but something simple like a first date is challenging for me. Often I envy those who don’t feel as much, it looks like a more pleasant way to live. This heightened sensitivity does not mean one is better than other people or nicer..if anything sometimes I hate people. Not personally, but as a group. I get overloaded. Consequently, being this way has kept me from seeking social interaction and isolating at times. Conversely, it is invaluable in my work life with people.

All of the ignorant posters who make fun of a real thing, shows them for who they are.

I'm r11 and I don't use the term "Empath" to describe myself at all. I'm highly sensitive which sucks most of the time but I do have the ability to understand most people. I don't know if I would have turned out this way had I not had such trauma in my childhood. I remember even as a small child watching my parents and realizing that they should not have been treating each other the way they were. That cultivated in me a real sense of right and wrong that has stayed with me, but I also now understand that my parents were incapable of love and were flawed people.

I think it's why I like to read a lot. People who have empathy are usually really into reading as we can connect with the characters on levels that most cannot. One of the first questions I'll ask someone if I'm trying to get to know them is "what is your favorite book?" If they respond that they don't read, it's a huge red flag to me. I know I'm weird.

Empathy is not only 'touchy-feely' stuff. It is also a talent that enables one to read the atmosphere of an entire room, immediately, upon arrival and thus act appropriately no matter what the occasion. It is the empath instinct that tells us to slow down a car for no apparent reason, until a kid chasing his ball runs into the road. It is an empath who can cast their fishing pole into the lake and know exactly when a fish will bite, so he can pull back and catch it. And it is certainly an empathic mother who wakes up five seconds before their baby, all ready to comfort them before they cry.

BTW, being a "sympath' is also real.

Is this a stealth thread about me?

I cannot figure out how being able "to feel the feelings of other people" is remotely healthy. It sounds crazy and toxic. Why would I want to LITERALLY *feel* how other people feel? Sounds like some co-dependant shit. Anyway, empathy is not about YOU at all, it's about the OTHER PERSON.

R90 I firmly believe that empaths are PROJECTING how they feel onto other people. There is literally no way a self-described "empath" knows how I feel deeply.

I agree a lot of this stuff is a survival mechanism learned possibly from a dangerous, abusive childhood. But not necessarily being psychic. Some houses I suppose can feel creepy/nasty/toxic, but is that because you sense something, or is it because of other clues, like the rotting garage, frowning owner who reminds you of a bad person in your past, or picking up on other cues ? I used to think the empath shit was real, and honestly now I just don't. I was friendly with a woman at my former Episcopal church who claimed to be an "empath", and at times she was beyond obnoxious. Conversations were almost always about her. Everything steered back to her. She humble bragged about how empathic and in touch she was with other people. Ironically she had no capacity to listen to other people.

It really isnt the ability to feel the "feelings" of others. It is hard to describe, it's like picking up a radio station on a bandwidth full of static. I have no use for it, and it occasionally creeps me out. I don't know where it comes from, or if its falls under the umbrella of psychic, but it's a strange thing to live with.

R95 But how do you know the signals are accurate? It seems very self centered to assume that YOU know how other people truly feel. I had a self described "empath" coworker who misinterpreted every sigh, every gesture, every glance, etc. from myself and our colleagues. It was always about HER and how you know, a careless sigh made her feel like... we were disappointed with her. It was nuts. It's not all about you!!

r93, we don't pretend to know how you feel. And sometimes we're off base. But it is more of an ability to be able to say, "I understand what you are going through and mean it." As I said above, people just tell me shit likely because I'm open about myself and my feelings and don't pretend to be something I'm not. There is a sincerity that I think people pick up on with me. I'm not fake, I share my own struggles with others so that they feel safe sharing theirs with me. And if I'm wrong about how someone is feeling, I ask them to clarify. I guess I would describe it as a mirror. When people look at me, they see in me certain parts of themselves that they perhaps try to hide or deny and vice versa. They connect with me differently. I'm not making that up. I have been told this hundreds of times throughout my life. I've had family members who struggle with emotions tell me they wish they were more like me. I don't know why as I'm just trying to be authentic. Maybe that's it. I can sniff out an inauthentic person a mile away and I will avoid them once I pick up on this. I don't pretend to know every thought or emotion someone is having but I will say that when talking to people, they often comment that I'm the most understanding person they have met. The truth is, I wouldn't trade whatever this is about me for the world because I have very rich friendships that have been in my life for over 40 years...not just one but many. I also can make friends fairly easily because I guess I put people at ease. I am very lucky that life has not hardened me. I have some walls but those come down pretty quickly when I let them. And I am not afraid of letting them down because my whole theory on life is that we are here to experience everything...every emotion, every sadness, every heartache, every joy, every loss, every love. I have a genuine curiosity about people and love getting to know people. It's not something everyone can do or feels comfortable with but I'm ok with that. And I would never pretend to know what you are feeling without asking. But 99% of the time, I've been spot on.

A person who call themself an empath is just a narcissist trying to manipulate others by guilt. Most people outside of the autism spectrum can understand emotions just by looking into people. You have to be a special piece of shit to make other emotions about yourself.

A lot of the time feeling empathic and walking in someone else's shoes is because people who have feelings know on some level what others are feeling because they have felt that way themselves. Everyone feels sad or depressed or all the other emotions we feel and can relate to those feelings. But you don't really feel exactly what they are feeling. I know my ability to read people comes from my childhood where I was bullied so I am vigilant about people. I am also empathic to a point but I am also an introvert so I don't let too many people in my life..

I met a woman who told me that if she touches other people she knows what that person is thinking. She also said she believes vampires are real. So if empaths have "superpowers" how much of this is delusional or just outright psychosis?

@ R92

That's why we need boundaries. It can be exhausting and draining esp. if the emotions are negative.

Anyway, it's really not about us.

R101 Yeah it is, empaths make everything about themselves.

R101 it shouldn't be

I'm a lesbian who had a lengthy relationship with a self-described empath. We were plagued by a problem others have mentioned repeatedly: my ex was frequently (sometimes wildly) off-base about what other people thought or felt.

More toxically, once she decided she had picked up on something there was absolutely no convincing her she was mistaken. Her feelings not only trumped everyone else's feelings, they sometimes trumped reality. Two relatives who also identify as empaths display similar characteristics.

I know a self described empath who empathetically dumped her 9 year old daughter to live with grandparents and rented an apartment to live alone and party all the time.

It just so happens that I’m a trans blatino neuro-atypical empath with fibromyalgia. Please respect my pronouns (xe/zhem). Also subscribe to my channel!!!

^ you win the internet, doll!

Tired: Introversion Wired: Empathy

^ are you missing a :: ?

Empaths need to learn to stay out of other people's business.

It is not recognized in Neurobiology. I think there is a sensitivity disorder that some people have where they are sensitive to everything but it is a nervous system disorder. In most cases, it is just another label to make themselves feel special.

Well Neurobiology doesn't recognize anything that isn't material, does it? Emotions aren't material.

It's more like picking up on energies. It's hard to explain.

R113 But they're energies interpreted by your own feelings/experiences, not the "real" energy of the person you are assuming the energy is coming from. Lots of projection with empaths.

I don't for a minute doubt some have a heightened sense of awareness of others' emotions, and feelings, and some with these heightened powers may involve some form of ESP.

That said, there are nutters of every persuasion and delusion out there. I don't think any of us can judge adequately by simply reading a DL post.

I met a self-described empath at a pub once, and it was a very strange scenario. I was with my dog, enjoying the warm weather, seated outside, with a few regulars, one of whom had brought along a friend from out of town. I was immediately taken aback by her curious interest in me.

She eventually moved closer to me, and asked me if I was feeling alright. I was completely dumbfounded, and said yeah, yeah, never better, why do you ask... After stating that she was an empath, she said there was a very dark energy following me. She wanted to touch my coat, my jumper, and my dog before "telling me more". She came to the conclusion that there were two separate and distinct dark energies attached to me, following me around.

I immediately decided I needed another drink, and upon going inside, asked her friend if she was crazy. She said no, just very spiritual, and completely harmless. When i returned to the table, she asked me if anyone close to me had died recently. I said yes, two people as a matter of fact. A neighbour I had been friendly with had taken his life a few months prior, and a good friend had died of bone cancer eight months previous.

She then asked if they may have been drug addicts, or alcoholics... YIKES! My mate who was older who died of the bone cancer was an elderly alcoholic, as well as a a pill popper, (even before the cancer) and the neighbour was a depressive alcoholic who would frequent the very same pub with his dog.

She made the claim they were living vicariously through being attached to me, and that they were sapping my vital energy. She described them as very dark malevolent beings. It scared the crap out of me for about ten minutes, then I decided if their souls were somehow following me around, they would eventually get bored and move on. I decided a bit later on that it was much easier at the time to believe the empath was a nutter, rather than to believe my dead mates were tagging along, and sapping my energy.

Perhaps she really did see something? Years later now, I reckon I've heard of several others since then who claim to see this sort of parasitic attachment, especially if the recently deceased were former users or addicts.

Here's a great thread on this

[quote] A person who call themself an empath is just a narcissist trying to manipulate others by guilt.

In my experience, and empath doesn't call themselves anything. In fact, many empaths would like to leave it alone. It comes with a heavy price. At times, we can feel the pain of all humanity, and yet tell noone. It can be a life of solitude and seclusion..

[quote]In my experience, and empath doesn't call themselves anything.

R23 would indicate otherwise.

[quote]It can be a life of solitude and seclusion.

R97 says it's a life of connection and friendship.

They are on Betazed

I have some bit of sensory ability in this was, and my mom did, too.

I can't say that it's what an empath is defined as, but I do pick up people's energy, and sometimes have a bit of ESP.

I would LOVE for one of you stupid white queens to tell a black woman that you’re an empath and that you “feel and understand” her experience. You don’t have a single goddamned fucking clue how a black woman operates in the world, and that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

People who are normal and not insane narcissists ignore psychos who claim to be empaths or whatever the latest pop psychology diagnosis is.

You’re an embarrassment. Grow up

⬆️Hello from Lipstick Alley

I eat piles and piles AND PILES! of shit.

What a paragon of tolerance you are, R121. The self-awareness is stunning.

My observation is that most people who claim to be empaths are women, more specifically, white women. Most, not all, of the people who've posted at length about empaths in this thread I suspect are women based on the way they write.

[quote] You don’t have a single goddamned fucking clue how a black woman operates in the world, and that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

r121 Nobody says they do. Operating in the world has anything to do with empathic feelings. That is why people do empathic world-work for the development of the perfect consciousness in silence.

"You don’t have a single goddamned fucking clue how a black woman operates in the world, and that’s just the tip of the iceberg."

Does it involve excessive use of profanity?

(I'm asking for a friend.)

[quote] Does it involve excessive use of profanity?

While beating the oppressor with her weave!

Why is R121 so angry?

Let's all keep our feelings to ourselves.

[114] was approached by a con artist that used cold reading to make him fell uncomfortable and gave the criminal power. It is really sad when you notice that people are willing to welcome those kind of people in their lives. That a person that can name a feeling can be viewed as special. [r101] [113] look delirious and can't even understand that their "capacity" is just a reflex of their own maladjusted experience dealing with other people and their ill attempts to control the situation by trying to blame others for their own mental state and social angst. That is why those people need a closed circle of acquaintances. There is just that much people that will waste so much time on what can only be described as overbearing person with basically no hope of improvement since their mental disease is extremely refractory to treatment and criticism. There are two alternatives to categorize a self declared empath, mentally ill or abusive person.

I sense retardation.

Being empathetic means to be able to recognize and be willing to try to understand another person. Those with low/no empathy tend to be assholes.

Being an “empath” is believing in made up pseudo Star Trek wishful thinking.

r118, I'm r97 and I can tell you, it is both. Sometimes, it's very lonely because you realize that you are not the norm and most people operate on robot mode. They never stop to question their actions or their reactions, they just plow forward with their lives and continue to be miserable or live in ignorant bliss. I've had people who were scared away by my personality because I express my feelings openly. I understand that my personality isn't for everyone but with the friendships I have currently, they all love me for me and know me very well. I have one friend who really struggled with our friendship because I "saw" beyond their superficial bullshit and it scared them. Not anymore though as we balance each other out. In my family, I'm an outlier because I call the bullshit for what it is and everyone else just pretends everything is ok when it's not. But as I'm getting older, I'm finding that even family members have come to me and expressed how much they admire my ability to call shit out.

So in some ways, I agree that it can be lonely but I'm grateful that I was gifted with a wicked sense of humor that people seem to really be drawn to. I don't sit around lamenting the state of the world, although at times it does feel overwhelming. But I'm the one people confide in and I love that.

Let's leave Counselor Troi out of it.

The fact remains that some people have an unusual ability to intuit (or 'feel') what others are feeling. OTOH, others (such as autistic people) are often unusually lacking in this ability.

To me, this is no more surprising than the fact that some people have great musical talent or gifts, while others have none.

I'm sensing some pain in you, r121. You have been hurt in the past. I hope this heals and you are able to find peace and happiness.

Are these the Indigo Children grown to adulthood?

R5 Very true. Growing up in the city with homeless and mentally ill people and drug addicts downtown by my school, I was empathetic out of fear.

And yeah all this shit…

Non-binary, autism, empaths, DID, etcs is the new clairvoyants. In the 80’s and 90’s people were possessed by demons or were psychics.

It’s just branched off into something different. And that’s why, as mentioned in this thread, it’s predominantly women, just like fortune tellers and shit.

I worked in Salem, MA for a decade. Lots of women who think they talk to dead people.

R139 so you don't think autism is a thing?

For those not paying close attention, saying that empaths are mostly women is not stating a fact (because who the fuck knows), it's intended as an insult.

R140 There are young people who are self-diagnosing themselves with autism.

R141 It’s not an insult, women are more prone to be apart of hysterias. Psychics and super powers, the Halifax slasher, the Salem Witch Trials, the Day Care Sex Abuse Hysteria, false #MeToo allegations, even the non-binary stuff is predominantly female.

It's called clairsentience r139.

that's a good drag name

Again, r143, science!

R144 An article written by a woman about a woman going on about being special / unique.

R143 I don't think the Salem Witch Trials were a women's "hysteria." Wasn't it the male puritans who were freaking the fuck out about witches?

R148 They absolutely were. It started out with a group of young girls who were pretending to be possessed by witchcraft.

Same exact stories as white women getting black men lynched in the 1800’s and early 1900’s.

“They had cut out the heart, the essence, the motivations, the very core, and tacked on all those battle scenes. It should have been about three large people, but it lacked reality and passion. I found it vulgar." - Elizabeth Taylor

R150 Oops wrong thread!

R151 To be honest, the quote doesn't seem out of place here.

R150 wins for best misplaced post on the DL, evah.

Autistic people are essentially retarded and can't deal with normal people. They seem like they're dead inside and have a weird tone to their voice. A lot of people who aren't autistic use autism as an excuse for their own stupidity and bad decision making.

What do empaths have to do with autism R154?

In a way, highly sensitive people are the opposite of those on the autistic spectrum.

Empaths have super powers. They are special people. They deserve special treatment.

Why do empaths only seem to notice negative emotions in other people? I never hear about empaths complaining about how other people feeling emotions such as: happiness, joy, hope, gratitude, serenity, amusement, delight, pride, awe, etc. It's always about how they take on the "negative" emotions of others. Weird.

Sorry, I shouldn't say "notice" I should say FEEL. Because it's all about what the empath feels, and not the person who actually has the emotions. Oopsie.

[quote] She also said she believes vampires are real.

They are real, but not like the Hollywood horror version. It's energy vampires who try to suffocate you with their constant need for attention and care. The ones who overwhelm you with their codependency issues.

Empathy is really about reading people. Some make it about auras, which are invisible for pretty much all of us. But it's just mainly reading someone's body language and reading between lines of whatever the person is saying or sharing.

R160 But why do empaths always NEGATIVELY read people?

I'm not a happy-go-lucky person, but I couldn't imagine living with the negative worldview/mindset that most empaths seem to have. Most people can read body language, you know... unless they're fucking autistic.

My therapist told me I was an empath.

Oops, Why did I sign R160... sorry I'm R158/159

Sorry, I got riled up. I find the concept of "empaths" to be so idiotic.

Calling yourself an empath is a red flag.

It’s not the same as having empathy, which all decent people have.

[quote] Sorry, I got riled up. I find the concept of "empaths" to be so idiotic.

Why does it trigger you in a negative way? You complain about them being so damn negative, but here you are being all negative yourself.

[quote] Why does it trigger you in a negative way?

Because he's an asshole.

Apron guy here again. I have a difficult time with Dollar and department stores too-

because I can feel the energy of desperation and hopelessness of the people that made all the goods.

It doesn't sound immediately wrong that on the spectrum of human empathy, a few will reside at either end. It's entirely likely people with higher than usual levels of empathy exist. I don't know if I've ever met anyone who self-described as an 'empath' who wasn't a fucking loon (and often much worse), though. In my experience the self-described ones are more likely to engage in the behaviour described above, whereby they assume they know what another person is feeling and then refuse to be told otherwise - even by the person themselves.

A lot of people are also just extra watchful and observant of others, body language and subtle cues etc. due to childhood abuse. That's just training (and I am one of those people so please don't take this as an insult).

Apron guy again. SO to all the people bashing those that identify as empaths- I am NOT saying there aren’t charlatans and conmen, or people that designate themselves as “above” others, or use it as an excuse to subvert or disguise malevolent intentions, people do!

If you’ve every had a “sixth sense” about something just about to happen, or a strong dream about someone- these are empathic traits. Animals use it as a defense system to detect danger and to build bonds inside their herd.

I also think it’s very much part of the reptilian part of the brain that goes far far back into our evolution, don’t be so quick to dismiss it. Birds fly in tandem and viruses, plants, as well as microbes also work alongside synchronized with each other, we don’t entirely understand how 90% of the brain or these invisible bonds among us works. I also understand the power of suggestion and that it’s easy to snuff out belief in certain things- whether you believe in power of attraction or not- you are right!

I’ve experienced unexplainable things the 52 years I’ve been alive, don’t make money or a career from empathy, and got burned once using it the wrong way. For many people, it is very much a curse because no one explains how to manage it and there’s always someone quick to judge the boundaries of it.

I was sort of insistent to go to that 1920’s era factory because I seriously doubted my vision was true. Imagine my shock and disbelief when he opened that metal door and I saw dozens of empty sewing stations in that warehouse, there was also the lone woman I saw across the room when I picked up the apron. It did indeed look like an old movie set in there!

Several things I learned as an empath but EVERYONE can apply to daily life-

Walking barefoot on grass or dirt releases stored negative energy back into the Earth. If you feel a untoward empath is “reading” your thoughts, you can block transmission by thinking of the color orange. Mind reading empathic energy comes from the abdomen, not the head. Don’t EVER buy second-hand belts or shoes- it’s where people store most of their negative energy. You can see someone’s aura by staring “through” them- set the focus of your eyes far out to the horizon while they’re standing in front of you.

I have an issue with Dollar stores because most of the stuff is handled

I have an issue with Dollar stores- because almost everything is hand made and tended to by desperate humans, but feel nothing at supermarkets- everything is highly automated and manufactured by machines.

Also water r170. Bathing, swimming, showering, even being by a body of water. This is vital for me.

You also make “casual” connections unknowingly with friends, coworkers, and sometimes strangers- narcissists are good at tapping into this energy and sapping it from you with words, actions and subconscious cues. This is why you may feel drained or energized hanging around certain people. You can always reset taking a hot shower or walking on the ground barefoot. Be cautious of the motives of people that bring your energy up (like a certain ex president). You can also gracefully shut down these hidden connections with declarative statements- “Oh, that’s an interesting opinion”, or, “that’s honestly not my preference”. They stop your subconscious from accepting a narcissist’s suggestions.

Just try a mental block of orange energy when you walk into a room full of these type of people. A true empath will recognize it you as, “I have stated my boundaries!”. A faker will continue to heckle you. I imagine myself surrounded by a bright, enveloping orange energy field the color of orange juice or beautiful sunset… it’s no different than turning a faucet off tight.

Try it, it works!

But the bad President was orange.

I'm a generational empath.

And I channel angels.

[quote]I'm a generational empath.

Stay in your lane!