I want to eat an entire cake

You type fat.

Dollar Store pound cake of course!

If you can find it, Sara Lee frosted Banana Cake.

Come to Philly and purchase a pound cake from Stock's Bakery, you'll be glad you did.

Barring that, a good carrot cake is hard to beat.

This morning I made chocolate cupcakes with vanilla buttercream icing to take to my stitching group tomorrow, I might have one or two left over if you're interested? I'll toot my own horn and say they are outstanding.

I once ate an entire Carvel ice cream cake that said Happy Birthday on it. The entire thing in a sitting. I think it was really the only time I’ve ever stress ate.

"But so can’t decide"

Learn English first, then get back to us.

How about 10 mini cakes? They're seasonally appropriate.

Go to Whole Foods and buy those little miniature cake-y things in a ruffled skirt. They ooze charm. Much like me.

If you are gonna do it, go big and upscale. Like an expensive chocolate ganache cake or something. From a first class bakery.

Don’t do that low-rent Entenmann’s or Dollar Plus stuff, laden with HFCS and other artificial stuff in their ingredients.

Yes if I can't pronounce it I don't eat it.

I would do a double chocolate devil’s food cake with a carton of vanilla ice cream. When I was a binge eater, this was one of my fav combos.

OP- or just have pie Alice from the Brady Bunch style-

A LA MODE

Homemade Red Velvet is the only option, my fellow fat whore ❤️

R3- Is that stuff good?

Coconut cake.

Yes, if I was going to eat an entire cake,it would most likely be a coconut cake.

If you're a good Southern boy, it would be a pineapple coconut cake.

Coconut has THEE nastiest mouthfeel though. Blegh.

OP, head on over to goldbelly.com and browse all the best cakes from bakeries all over the country.

It will cost you anywhere from $50 to $100. Think of it as an investment.

Tom Cruise is partial to the White Chocolate Coconut Bundt Cake from Doan's Bakery that is available at Goldbelly.

R18- I’m more tempted by the Whipped cream on the Pecan Pie than the pie itself- but I do like Pecan Pie

^ yeah....me too! Maybe it is the gay in us??

R18- Goldbelly is a FAT WHORES paradise.

I might be just decadent enough to order one of those cakes 🍰.

Pepperidge Farm three layer coconut cake. Eat it frozen, with a quart of milk. Yum!

Daisy Cakes will ship whole home-made cakes to you frozen.

When you're ready, then thaw and eat!

Go to the most expensive bakery where you live and buy the most expensive cake they have. They you can feel extra, extra guilty. Oh and try to eat it all in one sitting. If the guilt doesn't keep you from ever doing that again the puking will.

R22, how are those? Always wanted to try but haven't.

Whole Foods cakes tend to be disappointing. A good "home bakery" is better. Something basic like yellow/chocolate is less likely to disappoint.

R25...they're my favorite store-bought cake. When I get depressed, which isn't all that often, I crave sweet stuff, and that's my go-to remedy. Its pretty sweet, but the cake is just plain white cake, and the frosting is where the flavor is, with coconut flakes mixed in. I'm not sure how I decided to eat it frozen (probably because I was impatient to wait for it to defrost) but that's the way I eat them now. And yes, I eat the whole thing with a quart of milk. Surprisingly, I'm not a fat whore (yet)...still 6'1" and 175 lbs at 67. But I wouldn't do it everyday. Try one.

We did cak already. Now it's just boring and stupid. If I wanted boring stupidity I'd log on to Archewell.

So Tom Cruise really is on DL ?

OP where do you live and what kind of cake do you like? What about a banana rum cake?

R2 is pound cake like Madeira cake?

I would love to learn how to make homemade doughnuts.

[quote]mouthfeel

"texture"

R32 I don’t think it’s too hard. Do you prefer a raised or cake donut? I think the most difficult part would be the frying.

This is a problem I often have. I find the best way to be sure I choose the best one is to eat them all in alphabetical order.

R18 is the answer. Where is the fat whore from the CAK post? He went on and on about how it was going to take him a year to finish that cake (fucking lightweight) - perhaps he can send half to OP?

You want an angel food cake because it's light and airy and you actually can eat the whole thing in one evening.

Not that I would know.

Something with Royal icing. And preferably no nuts.

I feel sorry for the Gold Belly shill. Don't you have good bakeries where you live?

R36 = another gold belly shill.

Some local cake with frosting made from sugar and lard. Oh, must have those pastel roses as decoration. That should bump up your A1C, whatever that is.

[quote]Help me, DataLounge, you’re my only hope.

I suspect that copious amounts of amphetamines are your only hope.

R34, cake doughnuts.

r38 Royal icing is rock hard, depending on thickness, and not very tasty. It's never used to frost a cake, just for decoration( flowers, figure piping, scroll work etc.) Go with a good buttercream icing, take your choice from: American, Swiss, Italian, French, German or Russian versions.

I suppose you could find a nutless carrot cake or German Chocolate cake, but you'd be missing out. What is your objection to nuts in a cake?

I hate store bought icing. I’m learning to do my own, for the rare occasions that I make a cake.

R30 Are those Rum Cakes any good?

I'm not R30, but I had one of the Tortuga Mexican vanilla rum cakes with a drizzle of homemade ganache and it was delightful. You can order them from Amazon.

R47 This is helpful. My grandmother used to make a rum cake called a Harvey Wallbanger Cake. As kids in the late 70’s, we loved it.

I might send for this Mexican Vanilla version to try.

An Italian bakery.

Lissen. If you live any where near a Publix, the bakery is out of this world

South Carolina has got those! Those are nice grocery stores .

I want to try a pure white Texan

sheet cake.

I've always wanted to try Costco's giant sized chocolate cakes and their apple pies. ...Although I have to say when I can get a superb Sweet Potato Pie for 2.99 everything else pales in comparison. Publix and Whole Foods are my Go To bakeries. With Publix, I will sometimes get a 6 pack of cupcakes. I'll eat one and freeze the rest. Or their Muffins.

I have told this story on here before and have been called a fat whore about it, but oh well.

My freshman year of college, I went through a pretty deep depression. I had no money, no friends no nothing. The only thing I had was a Sunoco charge card my grandparents paid for every month (FOR EMERGENCIES) so that I would always have gas money to get home. Instead, I would walk a mile and a half to the Sunoco that had a minimart attached that let you use your Sunoco charge for food. In the frozen section they would always have two kinds of Pepperidge Farms cake. There was usually a chocolate one and a rotating flavor. I have no idea how it started, but I would buy a cake, a pack of cigarettes and some milk every Friday night. I'd walk them home and sit in my dorm room (my roommate had a girlfriend he stayed with,) sit on my bed and smoke and eat the cake still pretty much frozen. There was something so satisfying about the icing on those cakes....how it would pull of in big strips. I would always get the chocolate one unless the other flavor was coconut or, my favorite, orange. So good. I vaguely remember there being a pistachio one as well, but I can find no proof on the web page.

Luckily, my sophomore year I found some friends. A few months ago, I saw the orange cake was on sale at my grocery store, so I bought it. Still delicious, but I had to throw it out after eating two pieces just in case.

I want to give teenage you a hug, r54.

Black forest cake from a quality german bakery.

I am the same R45 except for Miss Jones Frosting. I love the vanilla frosting. And if you whip it yourself using a handmixer it makes it nice and fluffy!

Make yourself a Coca-Cola cake 0P. They are delicious!

Carrot cake, maybe without raisins and nuts this time.

Mmm, vanilla ice cream in the same bowl, mix some cream cheese frosting in with ice cream and tell me all about it.

[quote] Black forest cake from a quality german bakery.

That’s FOREST OF COLOR cake to you, bucko! 🤨🤨🤨

r54 Those Pepperidge Farms frozen cakes were inedible. My favorite was always the coconut cake. Was always a treat to have those!

I went through a somewhat similar depression in college in the year before I came out. Was very isolated and depressed and could overeat many sweets (although I never had a specific go-to sweet of choice like you).

Only on DL will you find some loon accusing people of being a "Goldbelly shill" of all things.

DL has a menagerie unlike any other forum.

I love us, R62.

I've been trying to cut back on cakes and sweets and I am mostly OK, but every once in a while I get a craving...and I open my cupboard and BAKE a Duncan Hines cake. I have basic yellow and chocolate, but I also love their lemon cake and the Spice cake mixes. Those I doctor up with grated carrots, zucchini, pecans and a ripe banana, or I chop up some apples. Box cakes are also adaptable to making cookies. I also found a really good banana cake recipe online using yogurt and it is SO moist. But the dilemma is the frosting. I opened a can of whipped cream cheese frosting and it tasted "off." You could taste the chemicals and preservatives. And the same with the Chocolate. All fake with artificial flavors. So my choice is to make it from scratch or just not frost the cake. I have found dusting it with powder sugar and not icing it is fine. Although with the chocolate I often put mini chocolate chips in the cake. Lots of them. They're a great substitute for icing.. Usually I use a bundt pan because it's just easier, and then I will slice the cake into individual servings and freeze it.

And?

Here you go.

Is there a shovel attached to each of these slices?

R64 give Miss Jones frosting a try. I actually prefer it to my own homemade frosting!

Thank you, R68, I have always loved to bake even as a child. I will definitely try this Miss. Jones.

Never eat more than you can lift.

I want to eat a whole cake. Sometimes I will even buy one of those smaller 4-6 inch supermarket birthday cakes because I do love a good birthday cake. But afterwards I'm bloated and sluggish and I feel awful. It takes two or three days to recover.

Bumpy cak ftw!

R46 i’ve only had the banana rum. I like it! I also put some vanilla frosting on the cake. You can order a small cake on Amazon if you don’t wanna commit to a large cake. The 4 ounce one is around 10 bucks. They have many different flavors.

R69 I also enjoyed baking as a child. I think it was because I was a fat little butterball that loved sugar! I would even hijack my sister’s Easy-Bake Oven for a fix!

So disappointed no one has started an “I Want to Eat a Whole Cock!” parody thread.

R72: That's similar to a cakelet known as a Radio or sometimes Radial Bar, which is an old school bakery item in the DC-Baltimore area. The last couple places I knew to have it in the DC area have closed, but it can be found in Baltimore. I'm sure can find recipes.

R75, a consolation prize…

This bumpy cake recipe looks good!

This damn thread...I am now jonesing for some cake.

Box cake mix is made for these moments, even a fat whore can handle a box cake mix.

[quote]Box cake mix is made for these moments, even a fat whore can handle a box cake mix.

If I'm going to pack on the pounds, I'm going to get the most decadent, delicious cake I can get and box mix ain't going to cut it.

Box cake is good to add water to and simply eat raw.

There are youtube videos of people making cake out of like 3 ingredients.

Like a Poor Man’s Cake R83.

Fasten your seatbelts r78, it’s going to be a bumpy cake.

I don't think Dollar Tree sells those pound cakes anymore. I bought one back during the Great Datalounge Dollar Tree Pound Cake Festival, and it went into the bin after one bite. It was noxious and tasted like shyte.

IMO, Box cake is a last resort. It's when you want to be a complete slob, not leave the house and pig out. But a half step up is supermarket cakes. Now, if you crave cake get a supermarket cake and It will KILL your craving. I'm not talking Whole Foods. I'm talking down market like Kroger. You'll feel true shame.

They still carry them, r86. What can I say? To keep my crown I had to push them. Once my reign was over, I moved on to bigger and better things.

Before I had to stop shopping at Walmart because of all the shoplifting, I loved their oatmeal cookies with macadamia nuts and raisins. Very addictive and over 200 calories per cookie. So it was something of a blessing to my waistline when I gave up Walmart. Damned shoplifters.

R89 Why do you care about shoplifters? Did they shoplift all of the oatmeal cookies?

Did you shoplift the oatmeal cookies, r89?

OP, are you eating something, or is something eating you?

With or without shoplifters, going to Walmart is pretty tacky. You should be more ashamed that you want to go there. The cookies are probably some sort of chemical wasteland of baked goods.

[quote] There are youtube videos of people making cake out of like 3 ingredients.

I made what a cookbook described as an “Italian sponge” with flour, eggs and sugar, nothing else. Not even vanilla or lemon zest. It tasted pretty good.

Ta da.

Maybe I could eat a whole cake over the course of a day. If I did, it would be German chocolate cake with ice cold milk. Chocolate and cocoanut are my two favorite flavors.

My mother once made a German Chocolate cake from scratch and it was the best cake I ever had.

The best recipe I ever used for making German Chocolate Cake is in Ethan Becker's revised Joy of Cooking, which came out ~1997.

How many Germans go in the batter?

r99 Just the one, the guy who invented that particular formulation of sweet baking chocolate, one Samuel German.

r96 You and I are kindred spirits when it comes to enjoying German Chocolate Cake and cold milk. GCC is one of the few cakes that tastes better cold from the fridge. Ponzio's in Cherry Hill, NJ makes a terrific version.

I am another fan of Pepperidge Farm Coconut Layer Cake(again with the requisite glass of cold milk) I find that people either love or hate coconut, but women as a whole seem to dote on it. My mom loved anything with coconut: Almond Joy bars, Coconut Custard pie, Carrot Cake with toasted coconut pressed into the icing on the sides of the cake. I don't know if it was unique to her, but she usually put shredded coconut in her oatmeal cookies(it gave them a toothsome sticky texture) And yes, there were raisins as well.

f100 Coconut cake is also a cake that tastes quite good, if not better, cold from the refrigerator. Must be something about the coconut that causes that since German Chocolate cake is also so good straight from the fridge.

We never refrigerated layer cakes. They weren't around long enough. I had 3 brothers including a set of twins . .

[quote]We never refrigerated layer cakes. They weren't around long enough.

Who wants cold cake in the first place?

Yes R103 room temperature cak I believe tastes better than cold cak.

Imagine being so depressed you want to eat an entire cake but you’re too depressed to decide which kind.

This looks delicious! Has anyone here ever tried it?

OP do you have a local bakery close by? Or maybe some small gourmet store with a good bakery section? Because there's one about a mile from my house and every Saturday evening around 6 PM they mark down everything. Their cakes normally sell in the $28 range but I can buy one for $11 and they are to die for. I will eat half over two or three days then freeze the rest.

I love these pound cakes and I don’t feel guilty having one or two.

As a splurge, they are great with vanilla ice cream on top.

I gained twenty pounds reading this thread.

Only twenty?

r95's video is an example of why poor people are poor.

Why on earth would you buy packs of single serving cookies for $8.95 (according to the google machine) vs. a package of Oreos for $3.

Buy a regular pack and either put them in a food processor or just use a mixing bowl and pestle-like implement.

Can we film that??!?

A frozen Sara Lee banana cake or chocolate cake ought to do in a pinch.

[quote] I've always wanted to try Costco's giant sized chocolate cakes and their apple pies.

Costco discontinued the sheet cakes (choc. & vanilla options). Apple pie, I haven't seen lately, but I haven't been checking. Apple pie was not bad. Huge. The pie crust could have been better.

I just checked my closest supermarket (online). They do have that Pepperidge Farms frozen coconut cake. I'll have to try that. I keep forgetting to try it.

OP, have you gone through your back up cake that's in the freezer?

Find your nearest Cheesecake Factory and go crazy.

I went to The Fresh Grocer today in a suburb outside of Philadelphia. I wasn’t familiar with the layout and I was on my phone trying to get a hold of my car rental place. I was on hold and I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going. When I finished my call, I looked up - I was in the bakery section! Cakes, cakes, everywhere! Sheet cakes, carrot cake, German chocolate cake, lemon cake - just about every cake discussed in this thread! I felt like Ripley in ALIENS when she and Newt stumbled upon the nest of the alien queen! I went to get some Atkins Fat bombs and low-fat fro-yo instead. Close call!

Cheesecake Factory very very bad. You go there you will die. I seen people there so fat they couldn't get through the double doors to get into their golf carts.

How about some orange cake? This recipe is delicious! It can work with lemons too. Just use 1/3 of the rind called for or else it tastes too bitter. Blood oranges are really good in this recipe.

Oops here’s the recipe video……

Chocolate Blackout Cake!

Just get some girl scout cookies! Help the children!

Tiramisu

or

Costco's Tuxedo Cake

How about some nice princess cak?

That tuxedo cake from Costco is gross we bought it once a couple yeas ago for company and I was embarrassed.

You should have removed it from the box in the kitchen, r125.

Is that fondant at R24? Disgusting.

I follow the Food Network and tonight they had a short video of Ina Garten making a coconut cake. OMG. I wanted some instantly. It looked so damned good.

I adore fondant icing.

The princess cake looks adorable

Ugh, R129.

Apparently because of the Datalounge Effect, my Kroger is out of stock on the wonderful Pepperidge Farm frozen coconut cakes. Chocolate, they've got a whole pallet of 'em.

I also tried to snag one of those frozen coconut cakes but they were all gone. Dang you, DL!!

Vons in Los Angeles is also out of Pepperidge Farms frozen coconut cakes. However, I suspect the reason is because they were on sale. Normally $5.99 but on sale for $3.49, but if you buy five, the price drops to $2,99 each.

Store has plenty of PF frozen lemon cake and frozen chocolate fudge cake, but no coconut cake! Arggg!

I suspect a DLer was stocking up on the coconut cakes while they were on sale!

r134 Heh, heh, heh......

Is any of you entire cake eaters diabetic? I'm not being a cunt. I'm just curious. And diabetic.

Mmmm, tres leches…

My A1c is between 5.9 and 6.1. I've been exercising 5 days a week for 45 minutes a day, and I eat a lot of beans and protein but once in a while I need to cheat. I may eat cake for two days. one large piece each day, then throw the rest out. So I always look for something cheap.

I love cake. but couldn't possibly eat an entire cake in one sitting.

I came to this thread to see what people had to say. Coconut cake is a favorite of mine, so glad know there are other coconut cake fans here.

Also, I'm really curious to try the Sicilian Orange Cake at r120. Sounds delicious. I've never heard of it before. Can't wait to make it.

If I buy a cake in a store, I eat a slice or two the first day, then another slice the next day. Usually at that point, I've satisfied my desire to taste that flavor of cake. So depending on how much I liked the cake, I freeze the rest or give it to a neighbor. Or jut throw it away. Like r138, I'm not going to spend a lot of money on store bought cake.

If I bake the cake myself, then I may have 1-2 slices when it cools off after coming out of the oven and another slice a day later. Usually, by that point, I'm tired of the cake -- I really only baked the cake because I was curious to taste it. After I've gotten the desire to taste it out of my system, depending on how good it was, I either freeze the rest of it or throw it away.

I probably buy or bake a cake once every 4-6 weeks.

R139 it’s really an excellent cake. I even went so far as to purchase that special Italian baking powder she uses. I don’t know if it really makes a difference. The first time I made it I used the whole rind like the woman said in the video and it was so bitter. So if you just use a third of the rind you should be fine.

When I get into cake baking moods I’ll eat a few pieces of cake and then give it away to friends or neighbors. I hate throwing away food!

Freezing a cake seems like a massive hassle, especially if you want to defrost just a couple of slices which would be chiselled off, I guess?

Slice cak before freezing.

I'm going to admit I have not read every one of the 142 replies but Mardi Gras is this Tuesday and you should get a King Cake if you're still hungry, OP. It's basically a big cinnamon flavored cake. It might have a plastic doll in it, don't eat that part. It's fantastic with coffee.

Laissez les bon temps rouler!

Another vote for Angel Food Cake. I just had one for my birthday with strawberries and whipped cream. Delish!

Strawberry shortcake. I buy a pound cake or angel food cake and add strawberries and whipped cream. If strawberries are out of season my grocery store sells sweetened cut up strawberries.

R141 Freeze separate slices of your cake in sandwich bags.

Yummy

This is a common problem for single people because you want to enjoy cake but you have no one to share it with. This problem has been worsened by the pandemic. Grocery stores are now selling half cakes and cakes by the slice, but it is not the same. This same problem exists with pizza. These things are always overeaten. You don't want to throw out food, freezing it is a hassle and let's face it, the food is too good to stop eating.

Now that we are coming out of the pandemic, invite a friend over to share the cake or immediately cut it in half and give it to a neighbor.

Don't eat a whole cake honey, unless you are looking for someone to create a reality tv show around... The Thousand Pound Gay!

Super markets have had half and slices cakes for decades.

A little bug in your coffee cake, ah, joy.

If it's only half, is it really a cake?

I just ate an entire cake. Well, a St. Joseph's cake, known hereabouts as ZEPPOLI(Zeppo is a diminutive of Giuseppe, Italian for Joseph). Our local premier(at least IMHO) Italian bakery, Termini's, will be selling them for the next 3 weeks, they'll disappear after March 19th, the feast of St. Joseph. BITD you could only get them on the actual feast day, but ever since then the availability has increased.

Any Italian bakery worth their salt has a version of this pastry, and they're all just a bit different from one another. Termini's offering is sort of a bread-y cream puff, baked in a donut shape, split and filled with a sweet ricotta filling, or vanilla custard(both the traditional fillings you'd find in their cannoli) A glaceed red cherry on top paints the lily.

It's pretty hefty, weighs I would imagine 4 ounces or so, one of these and a glass of milk or a cup of tea or coffee is a nice toothsome treat. 6 bucks each, and worth every penny AND calorie.

"But so can’t decide"

I hope since you've posted this, you used the cake money for an English class.

[quote] Grocery stores are now selling half cakes and cakes by the slice, but it is not the same.

I can definitely enjoy a half or a slice of cake. If you have bakeries in your area, you can buy lots of different single-serving things. Those single servings are considered more special, anyway. E.g., a tart, a flan, a chocolate mousse cup. If you go to a fancy dinner party, what do they serve you for dessert? An individual portion of ___.

I sometimes buy the cake slices at the grocery store. Yes I could make a cake for the same price, but because I can be a piggy I like the portion control of one slice.

If we had Easy Bake ovens, we could be baking little cakes and not pigging out.

My nutritionist says that whenever I crave sweets I should have a spoonful of peanut butter.

What is that supposed to do? Does it work R157?

He doesn't know r158, he hasn't put down the spoon yet.

r157/r158 That's all well and good, unless you are an arachibutyrophobe.

I dream of coconut cake with lemon filling. Vanilla icing.

I’m r157.

I don’t know yet, as mentioned upthread. But I have been buying the extra large jars of peanut butter 🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴

I’m going to buy a slice of birthday cake today and have it tonight. I’m looking forward to it.

I’m trying not to ingest too many carbs, but the idea of a Tastykake pie is today’s obsession. You have to be from Philadelphia and it’s surrounding areas to understand.

I stumbled across a recipe for Gooey Butter Cake.

The name is a misnomer since it's not a cake like we traditionally think of cake. Instead it's more like a brownie or a lemon bar, except with a cream cheese type filling.

Looks decadent and delicious!!

You gals well rejoice when I tell you that I stocked up on a triple cherry and pecan pie. I cut them up and stick then in the freezer to have when I feel naughty. I'm terrible!

Perhaps a Lady Baltimore cake?

I tried to modify a recipe for apple oatmeal cookies by substituting real sugar with Truvia. So awful that I threw out the entire batch last night. Now my sweet tooth is really nagging me.

I have a whole one of these in the house. And no, I won't be eating a piece and chucking the rest away. No bitch ass cake is gonna best me.

Saw the Pepperidge Farm coconut cake at my local store. Lots in stock, so, I didn't buy it this time. Why? Because I'll eat the whole thing. I will buy it at another time, though. However, now I know my store has it. I looked at the box. If you did eat the entire cake, it's 2,000 calories. The cake is 1.2 lbs. or 555 grams.

I visualized a cake, slowly ate it, and was satisfied.

Someone left the cake out in the rain

I don't think that I can take it

'Cause it took so long to bake it

And I'll never have that recipe again

Her voice rivals Whitney's - close call.

Like coconut?

Like chocolate?

German Chocolate cake is the answer for you!

Has anyone else seen the Dom Deluise movie FATSO? Directed by Anne Bancroft.

“ Get the honey Junior!”

The only cake I could finish myself is a cheesecake and it would take a week. Go to a couple of cafes and buy cake slices to go. Then you'll have some variety.

I ate 2 pints of ice cream the other night (Pralines & Cream, Salted Caramel) and thought of this thread.

Why not enjoy a delicious Edwards pie, OP?

Ate a whole sheet cake, so named because a sheet is the only thing that will fit you afterwards.

God I want an ice cream cake now.

Had a slice of someone’s retirement party cake today. My keto is so dirty today…

OP is a true fatty, the only one I know who snacks in-between bites.

I was craving cake about two hours ago and decided to make one. I looked in my cupboard and saw I had boxed vanilla cake mix that expired last summer. I said screw it I’m gonna use it! And then I used the following recipe to make it taste better. I also added fresh chopped cherries to the cake on one side in case I didn’t like it. It tasted really good!

That bright purple icing has me shook, R183. I'm off to the Underwhelmed thread. Glad you enjoyed your cak though.

Nice substitution tips in that receipe r183. Thanks.

You fat whores forced me to get a Pepperidge Farm coconut cake, which now sits in my freezer waiting to be devoured before it's even defrosted.

Sometimes you just have to scratch that itch R186. Just try to stop eating it before you start feeling ill. like maybe eat 1/4 of it and then put it down the garbage disposal!

This calls for a Carvel Cookie Puss!

You can tell all your friends the next day that you were up all night eating a huge, sweet, dripping puss, and how your face was all sticky afterwards.

A cupcake. There.

12 cinammon sugar doughnuts from Krispy Kreme

If I have any junk food in the house, I’ll eat it all in one sitting.

I have zero control.

I am flabbergasted that people can eat a whole cake. Now pie, yes, that I can see.

Bearclaws….mmmm.

I divided the cake in nine squares, took one and refroze it. Much smaller than it was years ago, if memory serves. Frosting is way too sweet. The cake is good but doesn't have the density and crumb structure of most cakes. It seems to have no holes in it. Almost like a petit four.

First bite: fabulous Last bite: ooh, too sweet. cloying.

I'm discerning but still a fat whore.

I love r194 ❤️

r194 Thanks! That's your report on the Pepperidge Farms Frozen Coconut Cake?

They should rename their company Pepperidge FAT Farms!

Yeah, R194, is that your review of the Pepperidge Farm coconut cake? You might have saved me some trouble.

r194 described my experience eating the Pepperidge Farm Coconut Cake. It's been decades since I ate one, but everything he described reminded me of my experience eating one. First bite scrumptious. Subsequent bites were good but the overly sweet icing eventually overpowers things to the point you're more than ready to be finished with it. That's why I could never eat a whole one of those cakes in one sitting.

So, r194, were you reviewing the PF Coconut Cake?

A lot of these things that were once delicious such as Twinkies or Pepperidge Farm cakes now taste like crap! A lot of companies use cheap ingredients or change recipes to save money.

Yes, it was the PF coconut cake.

I think I still have to try that PF coconut cake, anyway.

I know high fructose corn syrup is in practically everything, but I try to avoid and buy stuff that has real cane sugar (like jams)

HFCS makes me a bit sick and I can’t really tolerate it anymore

I worked in Romania back in '17 and needed to get corn syrup to make some mouth goo (I'm a makeup artist). I went to 6 giant grocery stores and none of them had it (and these stores had 3 aisles devoted to sweets). No one knew what it was, and I had to order it from a commercial food company. When I did get it, it was CORN!!! Very yellow, very corn tasting. The poor actors hated it.

I noticed that there are no obese people in Romania. They also don't eat a lot of pre-processed foods or junk food (simply because it's not readily available or too expensive). But man, they love their sweets.

Nothing tastes as good as it used to. I 'm old enough to remember when my mother discovered Sarah Lee and we couldn't get enough of it. Pound cake, cheese cake, coffee cakes, etc. "Nobody doesn't like Sarah Lee" was our household theme song. But the quality suffered once it became popular. Then we moved to Entemann's. Loved all their stuff...at first. Now it's no better than Hostess or Little Debbie. Crapcakes. The only thing that has held it's quality is Marie Callender pies. And yes, I will buy and eat a whole peach pie in a heartbeat. With Pepperidge Farm, I gave up long ago when the cakes turned into mostly icing and you could barely distinguish the flavor of the cake. But I did love their cherry and apple turnovers.

I remember the first time I had a Twinkie in the 90s. My whole childhood built up this delicious American snack cake, always hearing it mentioned on American TV and movies etc., I was so ready to have my tastebuds blown. It sucked. Dry and awful, hardly any filling (and what filling there was could not have been described as creamy or delicious in any way). Subsequent experience with shit tier snak caks has revealed that Vachon (sort of like the Canadian version of Hostess) is putting out a superior products by far. Now don't get me wrong, it's still shit tier, but at least it tastes vaguely good. The 'Billot Log' in particular shits all over the Twinkie on every measure.

Oh and R205 is right. It's amazing how already-awful processed foods had room to sink to a whole new level of awfulness.

I think you have to start eating these foods as a child in order to like them as an adult.

Get one of those tiny Supermarket cakes they sell in their bakery section. They often look a lot better than they taste. Once you have a couple of bites, your craving will go away.

R208 Whole Foods has a whole section with small desserts

Why are desserts so bad for you? So unfair. When I wake up in the morning, my sweet tooth is primal. Like right now! 🎂 🥧 🍪

I hear you R210! Whenever I’m craving sweet right when I wake up sometimes I make myself a delicious mocha coffee! I dissolve chocolate chips into heavy whipping cream, add a little sugar, cinnamon, then add coffee. It’s delicious and knocks the craving out!

Broke down and got a large $5 slice of caramel apple cake from my local ACME supermarket in South Philadelphia this afternoon. It’s probably two slices worth. Could not finish the whole thing…the sugar made me ill. I’ve cut back on sugar levels for the past two years and I don’t think that my body can handle it anymore. Which is good, right?

R211 that reads horrible. Heavy whipped cream and sugar for breakfast? No. Now if you have a 4 oz. glass of OJ, or a few chunks of fresh pineapple or a ripe pear you'll get your sugar fix and a few vitamins too. Another option would be a square of dark chocolate. The drink you describe must have at least 400 calories.

R211, sometimes I take powdered hot chocolate or cocoa and add it to my coffee. And lately, I’ve been using Reddi Whip to coffee as well, instead of coffeemate. Getting eccentric in my fifties…

R213 I know! But I don’t have it every day. I might have one once a week or two. You are right that it’s not very nutritious. I should stop making them. too many empty calories!

Now I want to eat fudge. Caramel fudge.

[quote] Another option would be a square of dark chocolate.

Nothing is more depressing to me than people claiming a square of dark chocolate is sinful and decadent.

I'm the fat whore who bought the Pepperidge Farm cake. I cut it into nine small squares. However, you have to break the square apart and eat a single layer not to get nauseated.

We have an Insomnia Cookie store near my house…one oatmeal macadamia cookie = 270 calories!

Bought an individual slice of coconut cake at Ralphs (owned by Kroger) over the weekend, because of this thread.

The cake itself was rather good, but the icing was overly sweet with only a light sprinkling of coconut. It was so sweet, didn't even finish the whole slice.

Very disappointing. But now, I won't be tempted to buy an entire coconut cake from Ralphs.

I was at whole Foods fully intending to buy cake. Instead I opted for a 4 pack of muffins. I Got the "everything" muffins, which were huge, and cut them in half. Ate one half and froze the rest. I have to see my Doctor end of the month and if my A1c isn't down she is going to kill me. Don't hate me. I just have to get myself together.

One of the best coconut cakes I’ve ever had was at a funeral wake. Moist, almost wet with tons of coconut in the cake and the frosting. The lady made it from scratch too. I think that she added coconut milk instead of regular milk.

Oh, no. Funeral cake. You never know what your gonna get. A near-sighted granny who freely substitutes ingredients for what's on hand or an undicovered expert baker who wants to honor the deceased.

All this talk off coconut cake left me with a craving. I was too lazy to bake my own and local shops don't seem to carry coconut cakes so I reluctantly subbed with this product (which I had never tried before). My expectations were low but they were DELICIOUS. So delicious i went back for a second box. This is processed food, not fresh baked cake so don't everyone get too excited but they were really good. Almost as good as cake. The filling genuinely tasted of coconut and the outside of sort of less-sweet oatmeal cookie.

OP? I'm just reporting back that I baked a fantastic banana bread yesterday (in a spring form cake tin) and ate nearly the entire thing.

Thought of you, knew you'd be proud.

I'm actually afraid to bake anything because I know that it wouldn't last a day in my house.

For you r226

OK. I had my pick of Pepperidge Farm Coconut cake, Chocolate cake or lemon cake. I love all of them. $4.99 each. I bought none of them. It is LENT. I am not going to succumb. I am not!

I went to Kroger and couldn't find that coconut cake so I stomped out in disgust. I found other frozen cakes and pies. Life ain't fair.

Well I crave cake and I was just recently diagnosed with diabetes. On my way home from picking up diabetes meds and supplies I noticed that right next to my building a sign for a cookie shop opening soon. I wanted to cry. Eat your cake (or cookies) while you can.

R230, it's not just sweets, it's mainly carbs. Look. If you're disciplined and do the right thing, extra low carbs, no fried or fatty foods, processed foods, and exercise about 30-40 minutes daily, you can bring you A1c level down enough to cheat once in a while. I had to stop eating even dried raisins and cranberries. Some fruits like fresh ripened pineapple or sweet grapes. But I can eat apples and oranges, and strawberries blueberries, etc. So just start watching things and you can have you cake and eat it too!

R225

Proud of you, sweetie.

I’ve lost a total of 22 pounds since last summer. I don’t want to fuck it up. But sometimes my sweet tooth nags me. My food was so good, so low carb today until I saw Cadbury Creme Eggs on sale at the commissary on the military base where I work. I ate two.

Cadbury Creme Eggs are shit now, tho. Not saying I wouldn't eat 3 in a row or anything, let's not be hasty, but they used to be better.

Also proud of R225, although not quite as 100% proud as I could be - and he knows why.

Make the Hershey Chocolate cake from scratch(it's so damned good. Or buy a Pepperidge Farm frozen, chocolate cake. You'll also need a big, cold glass of milk or Coke, to wash it down.

Can you us Kodiak Protein Pancake Mix for baking a cake? Seems like it could be possible.

When I come home from the doctor I am going to bake...and eat a made from scratch sour creme chocolate cake. No shit.

R235 that cake looks delicious but Hershey’s is such awful quality chocolate. I wonder if one could use Ghirardelli or something better?

You think you want to eat an entire cake but really--a key lime pie is far superior. It is tangy rather than cloyingly sweet.

I’m getting a colonoscopy Tuesday morning. I’m craving vanilla birthday cake. I’ll get a slice later. To calm my nerves.

^ ooh, from where r240?

Of course you can use Ghirardelli's.

I may have to try Aldi's, but it just sounds so...cabbagey smelling.

What an unstoppable thread . I buy these vegan chocolate brownies from Whole Foods and they are soft, fresh, and delicious.

Petition to have Pie Person and obvious deviant R239 removed from the thread.

Key Lime Pie. Good Lord.

I bought some almond flour cake mix. I intend to make a cake tomorrow if I can get motivated.

It's okay, I bought the key lime pie from Whole Foods. Would key lime cheesecake work instead? Don't cast me out from the ranks of fat whores. It's the only place where I've ever felt comfortable.

Cheesecake does indeed work. R247. There must be a certain number of grams of fat to count. Cheesecake counts. PIE DOES NOT!

Publix had Sweet Potato Pie on sale for $3.99 and it was delicious. Yes. I ate the whole fucking Pie....but I did it over 5 days.

Look. I love pound cake, chocolate cake, birthday cake, lemon yellow cake, carrot cake, coconut cake, and a zillion other kinds of cake. In fact the only one I do not like is Red Velvet cake. But sometimes, when you just cannot make up you mind...get a pie! LOLOLOLOL!

New thread for people to talk about eating an entire pie!

That's the place for Pie Talk.

Those crazy pie people are getting out of hand!

Pumpkin Cheesecake Cake -- a layer of cheesecake in the middle with a layer of pumpkin cake above and below it. Then frost with cream cheese icing.

Sounds decadent.

Cinamon roll pound cake

^oh lord, that looks superb.

This thread has made me crazed and I'm buying a scone or a slice of cake tomorrow.

Ete mor cak.

Oh god oh god oh god this thread oh god pumpkin cheesecake cake oh god

I baked a very delicious chocolate, almond cake yesterday but after eating a few bites of one small slice I felt sick to my stomach. Not that I wanted to eat the entire cake but it tastes so good and melts in the mouth as it's made with almond flour, but for some reason it's sickening. Weird. Oh and all the ingredients are organic so there is no shit in it. It's not too sweet. So I don't get it. I usually never feel sick from any desserts I bake or cook or make myself in some way, so it's not me, it's something about that cake.

Will you ever have that recipe again, r258?

Oh No!

R258: left it it out in the rain.

No, lol, I will not be making it again. I actually got the recipe from the PBS cooking show Pati's Mexican Table. It's off my list, lol. And in case anyone is wondering there is nothing hot or spicy in there and no Mexican chocolate that is different from American chocolates, just normal cake ingredients, unless using almond instead of wheat flour is weird. I don't know. I've used almond flour before without any problem. I'm not allergic or anything.

The Recipe:

Ingredients • 1 cup unsalted butter • 6 ounces bittersweet chocolate • 4 large eggs • 1 14-ounce can, plus 1/4 cup, sweetened condensed milk • 1 1/2 cups almond flour • 1/2 teaspoon baking soda • 1/2 teaspoon baking powder • Pinch of kosher or coarse sea salt • 1/4 cup boiling water • Confectioners' sugar for dusting To Prepare 1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit with the rack set in the middle. Butter a round 9-inch springform pan and cover bottom with parchment paper. 2. In a double boiler, melt the butter and bittersweet chocolate, stirring occasionally to blend. Keep an eye on it and turn off the heat as soon as it’s all melted. 3. In the jar of a blender, place the eggs and sweetened condensed milk. Puree until smooth. Incorporate the melted chocolate and puree again. Then add the almond flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt, and puree again. Lastly add the boiling water and puree again. 4. Pour the batter into the prepared cake pan and bake for 40 minutes, until top is fluffy and springy to the touch, and a toothpick comes out moist but not wet.

Before you choose, go watch PBS shows, "A Few Great Bakeries" and " A Few Good Pie Places". You will eat an entire cake.

r258 I wonder if some bitter almonds(a source of cyanide) found their way into the flour you purchased? Do you know the source/country of origin for your almond flour? Cyanide can be very quick-acting, and starves our cells of oxygen.

I noticed I had three overripe bananas just sitting on the counter yesterday. It occurred to me I had not had banana cake in a while. I absolutely love this recipe. I substituted yogurt for the sour cream since I didn’t have any. Delicious!

^ oh that looks so good.

[quote] I baked a very delicious chocolate, almond cake yesterday but after eating a few bites of one small slice I felt sick to my stomach. Not that I wanted to eat the entire cake but it tastes so good and melts in the mouth as it's made with almond flour, but for some reason it's sickening. Weird. Oh and all the ingredients are organic so there is no shit in it. It's not too sweet. So I don't get it. I usually never feel sick from any desserts I bake or cook or make myself in some way, so it's not me, it's something about that cake.

I don’t think that organic and natural etc is necessarily the best for cakes. Every cake I have made with imitation vanilla is exponentially superior to those made with expensive natural vanilla extract.

7-Up Pound Cake

Coca Cola Cake

Root Beer Float Cake

Wait what? Bitter almonds have cyanide in them? Does this mean the bitter almonds in a pack of non-bitter almonds? And is it just almonds? Because that experience of coming across an unexpectedly bitter nut (not just almonds, I just had a foul tasting Brazil nut a few days ago) is one I'm fairly familiar with. I usually spit them out but now I'm wondering if they're actually dangerous - and not just bad tasting.

r270 Yes, sweet(and bitter) almonds are a source of cyanide, just as apple seeds or apricot pits can be. Watch any police procedural with suspected cyanide poisoning as a plot point, and someone will invariably mention the odor of almonds emanating from the recently deceased, or that little brown bottle they found that had rolled under the sofa. Dorothy L. Sayers, she of the Lord Peter Wimsey stories, had another detective named Montague Egg, a traveling salesman for a liquor and spirits firm. *** SPOILER ALERT***One story had an elderly gentleman being accidentally poisoned by drinking an almond liqueur, from a bottle that had stood unused for many years. In all that time the bitter almond oil had risen to the top of the bottle, and the unlucky old gent got it all in his glass.

The liqueur Amaretto is made from almonds, apricot and peach pits so do yourself a favor and shake the bottle well before use. Hell, I'm so paranoid I shake my bottle of Listerine just to be safe, even though it's not made from anything in the almond family.

Bitter almonds have an even higher concentration of the chemicals that can boost cyanide production than do sweet almonds, the kind we can readily buy in grocery stores.

BITD bitter almonds, as well as apricot pits were touted as an alternative therapy for cancer.

A bitter almond or two in a pound of regular almonds PROBABLY wouldn't be enough to cause harm, but you never know. European bakers and pastry chefs frequently use bitter almonds to up the almond flavor in whatever they're making, it doesn't take many to achieve the desired effect.

The problem with Brazil nuts isn't their sometimes off-taste, but the fact that they are radioactive( dun dun dunnnnnnnnn.......). But then, they are also an outstanding source of the element SELENIUM, which the body needs in very small amounts. I believe eating one or two gives you enough selenium for a month or so.

Wow, thank you BAG. I guess I will continue to spit out the bad tasting ones. I am aware of the selenium in Brazil nuts (and very conscientiously do not consume more than 2 per week - and specifically for the selenium) but not the radioactivity. I hope my (Brazil) nuts are not irradiating me in my sleep! (perhaps instead of nuts I should instead eat cake and selenium supplements?)

Roommate just arrived with a Pepperidge Farm Coconut Cake for my birthday on Tuesday. I'm really overwhelmed at my good fortune!

I both love and hate this thread.

Dang! This looks gooooood!

Are the $100+ cakes from goldbelly worth getting?

Probably not R276. But if you got money to burn why not? If not, you’re probably better off baking one on your own.

I want to try the Tom Cruise cake.

The ingredients are listed as

[quote] Eggs, Flour, Sugar, Sour Cream, Vanilla, White Chocolate, Coconut, Cream Cheese, Butter, Powdered Sugar.

so a good baker should be able to make one at home:

There are no rising agents and eggs are listed first, so I imagine the egg whites are whipped to stiff peaks.

I called my local Kroger and demanded they go see if any Pepperidge Coconut cakes are in stock. I will not be denied what I deserve!

All of you who are in love with Pepperidge Farm or other supermarket type cakes do you ever read the ingredients? As I get older, I find that stuff way too sweet and artificial compared to what we make at home.

[quote]All of you who are in love with Pepperidge Farm or other supermarket type cakes do you ever read the ingredients? As I get older, I find that stuff way too sweet and artificial compared to what we make at home.

I have to agree. As much as I loved those Pepperidge Farms frozen cakes when I was younger, they do taste sweet and artificial now. It saddens me to say that, but they are overly sweet and overly artificial. I guess taste buds evolve and become more discerning as you age.

On the other hand, I cannot say the same about Sara Lee.

I bought a Pepperidge Farms coconut layer cake about a year ago in the midst of my pandemic gorging. To echo what others have written, it wasn't as good as I remembered.

This is a great coconut frosting recipe. Put it on a quick box cake and it would no doubt taste better than the frozen Pepperidge Farms stuff.

I still love Pepperidge Farm cakes, but why did they replace the chocolate one for chocolate fudge? There is a big difference between the two.

See, for me it was Sara Lee. I remember how, years ago I would devour a whole coffee cake or a cheese cake and do not even get me started on the pound cake. It was all very addictive. But it seems like once these brands become popular, the ingredients change and the quality suffers. Not very good anymore.

I was under the impression that marzipan is made from both sweet and a small amount of bitter almonds.

[quote]See, for me it was Sara Lee. I remember how, years ago I would devour a whole coffee cake or a cheese cake and do not even get me started on the pound cake.

I agree. When I was younger, I could easily finish off a Sara Lee coffee cake or a pound cake in the course of a day.

Finishing of Sara Lee sounds dirty!

r287 That is traditionally the case, certainly in Europe, where marzipan is a much bigger deal than it is here. I wonder if the bitter almonds are tested somehow, to see just what the potential for cyanide production is, whether as the almonds themselves or after they are incorporated into almond paste or marzipan.

BTW, if any of you are into hunky Italian daddies, there is a series on YouTube that highlights a bakery owner named Angelo from Long Island, NY. He pushes products from the American Almond Co. This guy is so friggin' hot, I visualize him in just an apron, and a shorty one at that. As some of you may know I am hopeless when it comes to posting videos, so I apologize in advance for not doing so. He, and the pastries he makes, are well-worth looking at and into.

Copycat Sara Lee Pound Cake recipe .

I bought a small loaf of banana bread and ate half already

I just tried that Coke Starlight for the first time (see the Underwhelming thread) and it has a cake note to it. Am I nuts? Did anyone else detect that? Anyway, I suppose this is not help for the calorie counters because Coke is probably even worse than CAK, lardass-wise.

I'm really glad you guys have been reporting back on the Pepperidge Farm coconut layer cake. You saved me a lot of trouble.

[quote]BTW, if any of you are into hunky Italian daddies, there is a series on YouTube that highlights a bakery owner named Angelo from Long Island

Um, link?

Also, interesting how the same thing applies with Chinese almonds, which are apricot kernels. You use mostly nam hung (regular) and a small amount of buck hung (bitter) when making flavouring or skin tonics.

r295 The best I can do for a link is to tell you to type in "American Almond Co." in the search box on YouTube. Angelo's videos will pop up, there's about 15 of them. His voice, looks, body language, attitude are "sponge-worthy."

I digress, but what the fuck has happened to Vienna Fingers?

Those shitty little elves should be whipped.

I want to make this apple cake. It looks so good!

Does anyone remember shadow layer cakes from the 70s/80s? So good!

I also love coconut cake and lemon cake. Too lazy to make either.

I don't know who needs to hear this, but the coconut cake from the Wegmans bakery is disgusting.

Bought some chocolate coconut cupcakes from my local Sprouts Market. They are pretty bland considering. I just ate the top half with the icing on it.

I was shopping yesterday and compared the fat/sugar etc from Hostress cupcake and over Katz cupcakes (located in the freezer section).

Almost identical in the calories, sugar content, fat content etc

Maybe the ingredients are higher quality or the cupcakes are kosher, I didn’t check that though.

I don't trust almond flour , I think that's why you got sick. What about making it with almond flavoring and use regular flour.

I have purchased slices of chocolate cake from whole foods and always enjoyed them. Overpriced but worth it.

Buy a whole cake and eat half of it. Half the cake is half the calories. That means you can eat twice as much!

Don't forget a tall glass of cold milk, you'll need the energy to let out your peignoir later!

[quote]Does anyone remember shadow layer cakes from the 70s/80s? So good!

Never heard of a shadow layer cake before. Tell us about them.

If you want an entire cake, but know you should stop at one slice, contact Buddy V.

R307 There was a German bakery in my town that sold them. It was a layer cake with vanilla cake with vanilla soft icing. Then on top, there was a hard dark chocolate icing (I think it’s called fondant?) that dripped down the sides. There was maybe a chocolate cake layer too, I’m trying to visualize it.

The best part was the icing, the two types and the way it tasted and felt in your mouth. This bakery just smelled like butter!

It doesn't look shadowy. More like drippy. Drippy cake.

Oh, DEAR, Amazon sells ready to eat cakes! How could they?

My birthday arrived, but I've only been able to consume 1/4 of the Pepperidge Farm Coconut Cake so far. This is largely due to overconsumption of chili rellenos earlier in the day. I could have pulled it off back when I was a Fatty McFatterson, but seemingly impossible now. I tried, folks.

A quarter only, R312? Loser!

R312…a noble attempt! There’s always tomorrow.

Just eat rhe cake's ass

You will need a scoop of ice cream, as well.

R312, how was that coconut cake?

I got some lemon curd from Amazon and, luck of luck, they accidentally doubled my order. So now I have four jars. What do I do with all this curd?

R318, scones and Devonshire / clotted cream? If you can’t find Dev / clotted, then mascarpone cheese.

Lemon curd on scones w/clotted cream? I've never heard of such a thing. And lemon curd is weird.

[quote][R312], how was that coconut cake?

Not bad with a digestif of Baileys Irish Cream on the side. The cake's big attraction is the good amount of coconut, it would be barely edible without it IMHO.

That your guy's channel, R296?

r322 That is the one. Thank you so much for finding and posting it. From the first time I saw him I was hooked. I love that his last name(LaMendola) is so close to the Italian word for almond(mandorla) As I noted above his videos were sponsored by the American Almond Co. Coincidence or by design?

Happenstanshce!

Do it. Do it. Do it.

I made banana cake with walnuts and a chocolate frosting.

[quote]I made banana cake with walnuts and a chocolate frosting.

And how long did/will it last?

Anyone on the OldRecipes subreddit? I want to try the Armenian Perok cake but have so far been afeared. This one got so much attention it spawned its own sub. Linking the original post.

I had one slice of the banana bread. My partner, who insisted on the dark chocolate chips, had three. He'll probably finish it before I have slice two.

I have a carrot cake. Jealous ?

Yes. Oregon Farms had the best loaf pan variety back in the day. It was dense and full of walnuts. I made the following recipe, which is very close to the commercial one. It is the best and very simple to make.

I put the walnuts into the batter, not on top of frosting.

Yes. Oregon Farms had the best loaf pan variety back in the day. It was dense and full of walnuts. I made the following recipe, which is very close to the commercial one. It is the best and very simple to make.

I put the walnuts into the batter, not on top of frosting.

If my Trader Joe's had had this in stock today, I would have made it and consumed it. Alas...

If you’re in nyc go to Chinatown and get the bouncy cheesecake

Pancake bread at Trader Joe’s is also real good @R333

Anyone tried Indonesian layer cake ?

The TJ's pancake bread had a choke hold on me back when it first came out. I can't buy that shit anymore.

Made these yesterday, with some modifications. I added apricot jam to the mix. Very dense, but moist…

Cuppa Cuppa Cuppa

So simple. So delicious.

Easy and decadent eclair cake.

R340 this looks like Nanaimo Bars, a Canadian dessert.

The eclair cake has no coconut, r341, which is a good thing.

You don’t like coconut? I love it.

We've ordered a custom made Coconut cak for my birthday party this weekend. It's a dinner party for 25. Catered, a bartender, and everything. I'll be 50. My partner is planning it, and all I'm thinking of is the cak.

Easter's coming. Anyone going to be eating an entire lamb cak?

R345, your picture reminds of me of my main complaint: I LOVE Cake and I like frosting...but way toooo many cakes are 90% icing and it is so frustrating. This is mostly true with commercial or professionally made cakes.

I’d love to make a coconut cake this weekend, but it would throw off my food plan.

My mother used to make a Simnel cak at Easter but in truth they are disgusting. (a combo of two of my least favourite foods: fruitcake AND marzipan, bleurgh)

Too many caks have cheap oil in the frosting. It tastes empty. Calories with no enjoyment.

A friend's 40th birthday is coming up in a couple of months and I want to get him a nice cak. The bakeries around here have all been done. Time to get something from goldbelly, but what?

You want a Lady Baltimore cake.

Why are some of you omitting the ‘e’ from cake?

Tradition, R352. Where would DL be - where would any of us be - without it?

[quote]Why are some of you omitting the ‘e’ from cake?

Because they're stupi.

Fuc you!

r352 Wait until Thanksgiving when DL people talk about having some turkey graxy,

What r356 means is "when DL's sheeple class posts about having graxy."

I'm dum but I like graxy on my cak.

So, I finally got my paws on one of then Pepperidge Farm Coconut layer cakes and it rang up $3.99. oh no. I call the attendant over and told her there's an obvious mistake as the price should have rung up as $3.69. She said that's the new price. I threw the price tag at her and told her I knew this would happen as they always try to gypp me. She had to walk into the office for a over-ride code l to punch in. I will not be denied.

The cake was very smooth and sweet. I take a small piece and have it with black coffee.

R354 it’s an inside joke from years ago. I forgot what thread started it. Maybe somebody on here knows.

It was just a misspelling that stuck.

OK, for Easter, we experimenting with our dessert. We took a Duncan Hines White box cake. We dumped a small box of lemon instant pudding in with the cake mix and whisked them to combine. Instead of egg whites we used whole eggs. Instead of 3 eggs we used 4. We used 3/4 cup of melted butter instead of oil. We used a small six ounce can of coconut milk supplemented by about 2-3 ounces of whole milk. About 1 cup total. Mix it and put it into a bundt pan, bake according to directions, 38 minutes at 350. For the topping, We used 4 tablespoons of Coconut cream combined with powder sugar vanilla a few drops of milk and heavy whipping cream. Spinkled with toasted coconut flakes and served with fresh fruits and berries. It. Was. Amazing. SO GOOD.

Duncan Hines has teamed with Dolly Parton for a Southern style coconut cake recipe.

Has anyone made it yet? How is it? Is it worth the trouble of making? Please give us a review.

Making this for this afternoon:

So the South is taking credit for coconut cake now

R362 that sounds doable…and delicious. I love to be overwhelmed by the taste of the coconut.

Much as I like Dolly, "coconut flavored" cake sounds awful. The South always claims credit for food, neglecting that it's usually something that came from England, Africa, or occasionally Germany (those Brethern types who wanted to convert the Indians).

Who invented ambrosia salad? Southerners love claiming that…

OP = Miranda Hobbes (the original, superior one), digging through her trash for the chocolate Duncan Hines she made earlier.

I like real stuff, so I'm not going with Dolly. I'm going to stick with my own version. At least I know how I doctored the box cake adding the coconut milk.

What's the best coconut to use? The grocery store stuff looks gross.

For those cake mixes, be careful about swapping out oil and swapping in fats that are solid at room temperature (e.g., coconut oil and butter). The oil is what makes the cake seem moist.

I make curries w/ coconut and lately, I'm liking the Aroy-D coconut "cream." Not sure why it's called "cream." Very similar to coconut "milk." The one I buy comes in 19-oz. cans (slightly oversized vs. the usual 15-oz. cans). It also comes in those cartons / boxes, but I haven't tried those.

Thai coconut milk and cream.

I found some coconut cream pudding. I will use it instead of the lemon pudding.

I’d kill for a big piece of chocolate cake and vanilla frosting.

Today, I made a banana cake with mini chocolate chips, from scratch because I had left over bananas that were too ripe and I didn't want to throw them away. I had a piece with some tea while it was still warm. It is so good I waited until it cooled and cut it in serving size slices and froze it. If I had not, I would have eaten half of it tonight like the pig I am.

I don't know what's up with that Aroy-D brand and don't wish to curse them by saying this out loud but they manage to be both noticeably cheap and very high quality. Their coconut cream/milk (the difference is the cream has a higher fat content and the product is thicker) is the highest quality I've ever tried. They also do a canned soup that is legit better than most of the Thai restaurants I've had it at (admittedly I do not live in a city known for its Asian cuisine but still).

Oh, and cake-related, I went to buy one of the pricey carrot cakes from the local bakery but by the time I got there they were all sold out. I'd spent ~30 mins debating whether or not to spend the money on something so unhealthy and the last one sold in that time. Let that be a lesson to you all: when it comes to CAK, do not hesitate.

R377, I’m the one who posted about Aroy-D canned coconut “cream.” I’ve purchased many different brands of coconut milk and cream and I don’t find them to be very different. There’s really no standard or regulation for what the mfgers call it: milk or cream. Also, I don’t find Aroy-D to be much cheaper, if cheaper at all, than the other brands.

Another brand of coco. milk that I liked was Chef’s Choice in the blue can.

I bought a samosa maker from Aldi and a box of orange poppyseed cake mix.

Going to make mini cakes for the weekend.

R376, what’s the difference between banana cake and banana bread?

[quote]This morning I made chocolate cupcakes with vanilla buttercream icing

DELISH

There is a difference between coconut cream and coconut milk.

Yes, R383, you're right, I believe there is a difference. I'm just saying that, from a consumer of both products, I don't think the mfgers (that I've tried) are creating two vastly different products. This is actually a nice thread and I don't want to fight.

I don't want to fight either. I have always found coconut cream to be obviously different to coconut milk in consistency. It is, however, entirely possible that you and I have purchased different brands and also that we may have different definitions of what does and does not constitute "obviously different."

Coconut is pure joy, amen.

Pepperidge Farms Cake doesn't just call my name when I pass by, it screams.

Do I call you name too, r387?

And I want to eat you eating the entire cake, OP!!

Sara Lee frozen Lemon Cake.

My dieting husband won’t allow that box in our home anymore, saying it’s the Devil’s work and calls his name from the fridge!

R381 I find that banana bread is more dense and less sweet. It also does not have frosting. Banana cake is lighter, more moist, and has frosting (usually). I love banana cake! I think it’s my favorite.

I caved in and bought the Pepperidge Farms coconut cake. (I've never had it before.) Despite the bad reviews in this thread, I wanted to try it. Will report back.

I almost bought a frosted banana cake this aft, and now deeply regret my decision not to.

My homemade Banana cake with sour cream and chocolate chips is to die for. I put chocolate chips in the cake so I could resist making frosting. But I sometimes make a chocolate frosting for it and it is amazing. Truly.

Reporting back on the Pepperidge Farm coconut cake.

The crumb texture of the cake is very fine, like a petit four. The cake texture is kind of powdery and reminds me of that green stuff (floral foam) used for flower arranging.

The actual coconut shreds on the cake are fine. The frosting is OK.

The cake looks cute and has 3 layers.

I would not buy it again.

I would, it's a memory from childhood. Comfort food.

Thank you, R395, you have slightly assuaged my not-living-in-the-US junk cak jealousy.

Good. More for me.

Go eat your rice cake and bring me the lard.

But please sprinkle sugar on the lard first.

I’m throwing my almond flour cake out. It’s too sweet. I am trashing the cream cheese frosting as well. It not safe in my house.

Omg. Real fat whores would never toss out a perfectly good cake. If it's too sweet simply have a smaller piece, like 3 bites with good black coffee. That really is the only way to eat cake.

I don’t wanna be a fat whore anymore…it’s lonely 😞

[quote]I’m throwing my almond flour cake out. It’s too sweet. I am trashing the cream cheese frosting as well. It not safe in my house.

Skip the trash can. There are hungry homeless people who would be glad to take the cake off your hands. The cream cheese frosting too.

I’ve actually given homeless people leftovers and they rejected them, r404.

[quote] I’ve actually given homeless people leftovers and they rejected them, [R404].

Not R404, but me too. I tried to give something to a homeless lady and she went OFF on me.

On the other hand, I have donated leftover party food (larger quantities) to an actual homeless shelter and they were happy to take it.

Ok R394 you best be sharing that recipe! Can’t leave us Banana cake loving people hanging!

OK. We have exhausted this. Now I have a question. We're taking my mother to a restaurant for her birthday next week. There will be 6 of us. I was commissioned to get a nice little birthday cake. Publix Supermarket has some nice cakes. What do you think. I can't afford to spend more than $50.

Celebration Cak!

r408, have you asked the restaurant to make your cake?

R408, most people like chocolate, milk chocolate. If it's older people, lemon would probably make them happy.

Are you talking about these cakes?

This is why I love us! I never thought about the restaurant but it's pretty expensive so if they do make a cake I'd bet it would be expensive. Right now I'm leaning towards either Publix or another local bakery that makes a killer raspberry white chocolate cheesecake. I really wanted to get a cake , cake. Thanks for the link, R411.

r412, have you asked the restaurant if they mind your bringing your own cake? Some don't allow it, and others will charge you for it, and it can be pretty expensive.

The restaurant said yes, we could bring our own cake, and flowers for the table and even our own champagne for toasting. (They have a corking fee.)

I am seven pounds from my goal weight. I just want a piece of vanilla birthday cake with vanilla buttercream frosting. Random multicolor decoration. A corner slice. What would probably constitute two pieces. A nice big piece of cake. I swim past the pieces of birthday cake in the Jewel bakery. I swim close to the pieces like shark, then I swim away fast leaving them behind in the cold blackness.

I'm truly Jonesing for a big, fat slice of chocolate cake(chocolate, whipped cream icing) and a cold glass of 2 percent milk.

I lost a fuckton of weight once. R415s description is pretty realistic. I distinctly remember realizing, at one point, that if someone put the rock hard dick of my fantasy bf in front of me, and beside it a slice of cake as detailed above, I wouldn't even have seen the dick.

Funny, funny. Sometimes cak IS preferable.

Hi, William Carlos Williams @r415 !!

Last night I caved in and made that apple cake at R298. I added chopped pecans as well. The cake is freaking delicious!

I love chocolate cake the best. Not to be confused with fudge cake. I want it and I want it now!

I want to eat Christmas fruit cake covered in marzipan and fondant icing with a nip of very strong tea and milk.

I found a recipe from Germany on Pinterest. It’s for a beesting cake. Basically two cake layered with a honey and cream cheese filling and covered with roasted almonds and honey. Serious carb hole.

We should get married R422, and be like Jack Sprat and his wife. You just got 3 of my top 5 least loved foods in one go. Fruitcake, marzipan *AND* fondant? You fucking monster.

You can be the David to my Liza, r424.

I love fruitcake. Really, truly love it. Any fruitcake will do.

I'll have to be the Liza to your Liza, R425. I hope that's OK, and assume it will be because it's not like this marriage will involve anything other than cak, talking about cak, reading about cak, eating cak and planning what cak to eat next.

Duncan Hines or somebody used to make chocolate chip cake mix. Mini chips in a not white and not yellow batter (more close to coffee cake consistency but still not quite the same).

My mom used to make one of those every few weeks when I was little. They stopped making them at some point, and I've been trying to recreate one since.

Bee Sting Cake:

So coffee cake isn’t coffee flavoured cake?

In the US, a coffee cake is a yeast-raised cake eaten with coffee at breakfast or brunch. They derive from Denmark, Germany and Austria., They're a single laye cake with a glaze instead of frosting. They're often filled with fruits or cream cheese. Or they have sweet crumb and nut toppings or cinnamon swirls. They're available at every large grocery.

I would like to attend a Liza and Liza wedding. The cakes would be fantastic.

Maybe the guy who bought up all of Martha Stewart's cake stands at her tag sale, mostly so the bitches he overheard before the sale couldn't, can help.

R431 I can still remember my excitement when offered "coffee cake" for the first time (on a visit to Canada). I was psyched to finally try the coffee-flavoured cake of my dreams, having been aware of it for years but never living anywhere where it was a thing.

Imagine my shock and disappointment when it was just regular cak. I mean, I ate it but good god, North Americans, please stop getting foreigners hopes up about your caks.

I didn’t read this whole thread, but a cake you could eat whole at probably 2 sittings would be Wegman’s white frosted cake.

It’s delicious, and the cake part is a very light chiffon, so it’s really not even that much.

Maybe just bake a 9x9 pan of brownies (Duncan Hines). I'm thinking of getting a 9x9 pan just to make Duncan Hines brownies.

I meant 8x8, actually.

Get hummingbird cake from the local supermarket…wow. Took two days to finish it.

Angel food has less calories than most of these.

Just take some white bread and a cinammon sugar bear and fold it into a layer cake.

OK. A Monkey Pox on all your houses. Because of this thread, I was finally forced to give in and BUY a fucking Pepperidge Farm CoConut cake. I could have bought the chocolate one but I got the Coconut one. It was good. The icing was good. It t ook 3 days to finish it. I had to scrape off a lot of frosting or I would have gone into a fucking coma. Now the few pounds I have been able to lose have come back. The cake is good for a frozen supermarket cake. I have resisted for months.. MONTHS. So fuck you.

Caroline's Cakes look to have some wonderful cakes.

Seven-layer cakes. Four-layer cakes.

Caramel cake! Coconut cakes! Red velvet cakes! Chocolate cakes and so many more.

Biggest problem is they apparently only know one price -- $70.

And then they add in shipping costs. Cheapest shipping looks to $15 if you're in a state near the bakery in South Carolina, $30 for states further away.

Daisy Cakes look yummy tooo.

Has anyone tried the Pepperidge Farms frozen chocolate fudge layer cake? It's right next to the coconut cake in the freezer at the store. I tried the coconut cake a few months ago and didn't like the crumb texture.

Cherry madeira.

I’ve been thinking about making a hummingbird cake all week. But most recipes involve two or three layers. That intimidates me so I searched for a 9 x 13 pan version. I found one on YouTube and it’s in the oven right now! Wish me luck!

Making cake from scratch requires a certain amount of skill but if you can carry it off, it’s the best.

I’ve always thought it’d be a great idea to do a hair salon offering an automat wall of fresh cake slices to women waiting for their hair to process- a captive audience!

The only problem is keeping minuscule bits of hair off the cake because it floats in the air from the blow drys.

R446 here. So I baked the cake and I had a piece last night. It was pretty good. I did not add pecans to the batter but I toasted some pecans, chopped them and put them on top. I think the recipe is lacking in some aspect I just don’t know what. Maybe it needs more pineapple. It’s still pretty delicious!

If you’re every in palm beach county , go to Upper Crust pies in Lake Worth. The pies are to die for

I know, not a cake, but man-o-man, so good

Maybe we start to share our local bakeries that are good.

For folks in NYC, is Magnolia bakery shit now?

R450, that's a great idea for another thread.

I really want to try marshmallow icing.

Making a cake from scratch isn't very complicated--just needs more ingredients than a box.

Angel Food was ruined by rubbery supermarket varieties.

I can't see spending $85-100 for an ordinary cake type like Red Velvet, no matter how good it is and I just spent $150 on high end condiments,

r452 That's what '7-Minute Frosting' is, more or less. Another name for it would be 'Italian Meringue.' If, after making it, you find out you don't like it, whip in some room temperature butter and you've got yourself a nice bowl of 'Italian Buttercream.'

Actually mashmallows are a key to good fondant.

Juniors, HUGE fantastic combination cakes, they ship/ deliver to anywhere in the US and I also think the UK. Their specialty is cheesecake, but they have a coconut lemon cake that is amazing, and a great devils food chocolate cake cheesecake.

Or Goldbelly German Chocolate cake (for the delivery) .

While a whole cake is great in theory, I can't get beyond one decent 'slab' of cake, just too much.

Is this the Juniors you're talking about? Always helpful to include a link when you're recommending a place.

The Coconut Lemon Cheesecake looks incredible. Can't begin to imagine how many calories would be in a slice.

R457, I think a great cake should take a little work to get to (so easy to rationalize laziness), and yes, that link is 'The Juniors' I was referring to, I didn't know they were getting sold through other retailers like QVC, so my apologies on that.

That coconut lemon slice is so good, and seriously enough for two, each of their layer cake slices weigh about a pound.

The plain Juniors cheesecake is worth the cost of ordering the combos, less so.

On my Princess cruise and my tablemates and I love ordering the Princess Love Boat Dream. Tasty.

Well, I have to say, for a cheap 3rd rate indulgence, that frozen Pepperidge Farm coconut cake is to die for..and it will probably kill me. I'm sorry I ever thought of it.

Welcome to the PFCC cult, r461. We have you now. 😈

Seriously though, a quarter of the cake and a glass of cold milk is a delightful treat. I slice the top of the box on three edges to make a lid, quarter the cake, take out a slice and then the box slips very nicely into a gallon size zippered food storage bag. No fuss, no muss.

This boy is ALWAYS thinkin'.

Can any Canadians confirm/deny that this Pepperidge Farm Coconut Cake is or is not available in Canada? I fear it isn't. I'm close to the border by my passport expired during COVID and it seems like it's a nightmare to renew them right now. Perhaps the border guards will take pity on me and let me cross anyway if I explain about the cake?

R463 lol! Just bribe the border guards with a Pepperidge Farm coconut cake!

Do you have a friend who has a current passport? A neighbor? Just tell them to pick up a cake!

I'd regularly eat an ENTIRE Chocolate Pepperidge Farm cake on break at work during my senior year of high school, and never budged from 125lbs at 5'9".

I am feeding a large Christmas fruitcake by syringing it with 30ml Armagnac every week.

It’s going to be amazing in December.

I love fruitcake 💚❤️

It gets a lot bad press, but done right it’s delicious

Go to a good bakery in finder cake from a canceled wedding. Ask if the groom was hot, and whether he could provide some extra topping

Urinal cake, it's low carb/keto friendly

Christmas fruit cake is great with sharp English cheddar cheese.

[quote] I'd regularly eat an ENTIRE Chocolate Pepperidge Farm cake on break at work during my senior year of high school, and never budged from 125lbs at 5'9".

R466, if you're still around, can you describe that Pepperidge Farm chocolate cake? I finally bought the coconut cake and was not impressed. No, I didn't eat the entire cake, but I would have if I had enjoyed it more.

R467, that's a pretty luxurious fruitcake with the Armagnac. Sounds good.

Reminds me of my mom and her fruitcakes. She would religiously pour brandy on them for days in a row.

My aunt (her sister) made fruitcakes one year and gave my mom one loaf. As soon as my mom got home, she started pouring brandy on my aunt's fruitcake. She said my aunt, as a non-drinker, didn't know how to finish off the fruit cake.

This is my favorite.

So coffee cake isn’t actually coffee flavoured cake, right?

I am going to buy an unfilled vanilla sponge cake from the supermarket. Fill it with raspberries and vanilla cream. Frost it in a thin layer of buttercream and cover the whole lot in fondant so it doesn’t go stale as quickly.

Can't comment. Off today, eating peanut butter cups and watching that Sherry Papini thing.

The JFK wedding cake looks amazing.

I love lemon Madeira cake. It never seems to expire.