Worst dinner guest

People who steal from the host's home during the dinner or party.

Did you ask her if she thought the party was BYOB?

Do you know someone who has done that R1?

People who bring something to a party then take home the leftovers of whatever they brought. I don’t know if it’s wrong, but it’s definitely tacky. If you bring a cake to a person’s house for a dinner party, for example, leave it there.

Your friend and your guest are tacky pigs OP.

Are they Lesbians by any chance?

R2, the party consisted of four people. Her guzzling her own booze was very conspicuous.

Lesbian. Would bet money on it. Did she bring her own lawn chair to sit in as well?

I’ll never forget it… I had just moved to a large New England capital. I joined a local gay volleyball league to meet some people; after a few weeks I felt comfortable enough to invite some of the players over for dinner.

Almost everyone had showed up, so I put dinner in the oven to braise … it was some fresh cod (this was New England after all!) and then the doorbell rang.

The last invited guest was at the front door with his date who was none other than the incomparable Linda Hunt! She took one whiff of the dinner’s emerging fragrance and began rummaging through her large purse. Into my hand outstretched to shake hers she deposited a small can of tomato paste and a muslin bag of prunes.

“Here, this will liven up your full, shitty dinner tonight hon. By the way, my name is Greg.”

Did she forget to bring a bucket of KFC?

When I was young, I had two coworkers over for lunch to celebrate the birthday of one of them. The other gal was her best friend at work. I did it nice, with silver and china. I cleared the table after the salad course for dessert and didn't see a fork. I noticed it was on the floor tucked under the friend's purse. I thought it had gotten dropped and picked it up.

Within three days after I heard all about how they were "afraid" to eat at my house because I was gay and they didn't want AIDS and that I had accused them of stealing from me. Then someone came up to me and said that the two of them always were talking about shoplifting and thieving.

I guess I looked stupid. And I was, in a way. But then I got a big promotion and I heard they really hated that and that it was sexist. Ha!

[quote]I heard all about how they were "afraid" to eat at my house because I was gay and they didn't want AIDS

Fraus of course. And yet they came, because food.

OP, your friend's friend, with her own personal bottles of wine and whiskey sounds like an alcoholic. She wasn't sure if there would be enough alcohol for her needs, so she brought her own alcohol.

There's no excuse for her not sharing, though, and then taking home the leftover wine & whiskey.

I was invited to a small, weekend dinner at a coworker's house. I suggested that X be invited, too. X was another coworker, so it wasn't like nobody knew him. Anyway, X monopolized the conversation the entire night, talking about himself. I had been out with X before, just the 2 of us (as friends). I never realized what X was like in a group. It was really awful because it would have been so much more enjoyable had he not been there (at the weekend dinner).

Worst is when Greg comes over. Always inserting Himself into things. It’s my party Greg!

... is the one who doesn't know when it's time to leave.

I had a friend that would go to large gay brunches back in the day when I was doing that thing. They were BYOB and pot luck. That tacky queen went every time and would bring 2 buck chuck and leave with several bottles of other people's expensive wine.

OP , that's what you get for inviting Ramona Singer to your house for dinner.

My half sister is a raging alcoholic and pretends not to be. Well, maybe she's sober now, but she just took medical retirement at 61 so I doubt it. When she came to visit mom she would always go to a local liquor store, buy the big bottle of Jack Daniels, and it sat in front of her constantly during the 2-3 day visit. She never offered any to anyone.

One time mom let slip that by the time I came over to visit, Becky was already on her 2nd large bottle of Jack of the weekend.

It's trashy behavior but probably also indicative of a real problem, OP.

OP here. It just now occurs to me that every vacation this person takes is booze-related: bourbon tours of Kentucky, visits to wineries. I've never seen this person drunk but that doesn't mean she isn't an alcoholic. Good call.

Had a diner guest steal all of my Xanax from the bathroom. Emptied the bottle and left it so when I went to get one poof they were gone. And I have no idea who it was.

[quote]OP here. It just now occurs to me that every vacation this person takes is booze-related: bourbon tours of Kentucky, visits to wineries. I've never seen this person drunk but that doesn't mean she isn't an alcoholic. Good call.

Apart from the WTF factor of doing it in the first place, I'd say drinking a bottle of wine with a whiskey chaser at dinner and not being obviously drunk is a very good sign she IS an alcoholic. Alcoholics tend to have much higher tolerances to alcohol.

R4 I had a guest bring nothing to a party but did bring containers to help herself to the leftovers.

I had a horny boyfriend who would try to hump the host when we were invited to dinner by gay men.

R7 That sounds a bit harsh, but you're hilarious! I think some lesbians may have even laughed at that one.

Bea Arthur!

I once had a dinner party for a (former) friend of mine. I asked him who he wanted to be invited. And I cooked his favorite foods.

He shows up over an hour late. He has someone with him. Someone he just met. I invite them in and offer them food and drink.

My friend replied, "We'll just have a drink. We've already eaten. And we need to leave in ten minutes because [the stranger's name] wants to go to another party."

I think that constitutes a bad dinner guest.

BTW we are not former friends because of that dinner, but because of something worse.

I condole all.of you

My husband and I thought we’d be nice and have my friend’s partner over for dinner while he was out of town. At some point he raided our medicine cabinet, downed some old Klonopin pills and passed out mid dinner. He spent the night on the sofa sleeping it off and I had to drop him off in the morning on the way to work. They broke up later that month and he ended up at Hazelden for the 3rd time.

Went to a dinner party at a friend of a friends home.He was very wealthy so my friend and I just knew it was going to be great. We get there and he offers for us to make ourselves a drink,but then pointed out that we had to use the cheap vodka (Dark Eyes,for gods sake) while he made himself drinks with the "good" stuff. We were astonished,but that only set the tone for the rest of the evening. Out comes the chateaubriand and he tells us it should still be good as it was only 4 days old (leftover from his parents dinner party) . I was too through with that arrogant piece of shit at that point ,stood up and said "Im sorry,I have to leave" and my friend and I bolted. I showed zero signs of wanting a friendship but he kept calling and stopping by unannounced .Absolutely fucking clueless.

I knew someone from a financial forum who was going to be in the city I live in. I invited her to dinner then invited a couple from the same forum who lived a few miles away from me. The couple were in their 70s and each drank at least 1.5 bottles of wine. They sucked down the good wine the first woman brought so fast that she had to pour herself a glass to save for dinner before it was gone. The worst part is they monopolized the conversation the entire night and were incredibly boring. I received a nice note of thanks from the first woman but nothing from Mr. and Mrs rude and boring.

[quote]Had a diner guest steal all of my Xanax from the bathroom. Emptied the bottle and left it so when I went to get one poof they were gone. And I have no idea who it was.

If you have an old school medicine cabinet in your bathroom there's a trick for that. Buy a bag of ping pong balls, stuff line the shelves with them just before guests come over. When someone excuses themself to go to the bathroom and you suddenly hear a bunch of commotion, you know who opened that up looking for drugs. There is NO REASON someone should be snooping in your medicine cabinet. It's not like you would keep extra TP in there or anything a guest should not be asking for first.

That's tragicomic, R28. Some of us posters need to keep our medicine cabinets under lock and key. The hell with ping pong balls.

Yeah, but the ping pong balls OUT THE THIEF in action.

I keep medicine in a plain wood box, in my dark, dry, pantry, near the shelf with all kinds of health related food stuff - teas, powders, supplements etc. Medicine cabinets in my bathrooms are for shaving and grooming equipment, little bottles of perfume, stuff like that. Patrick Bateman style. If they are going to snoop - and many will - let them be creeped out.

Had a guest who talked and drank and talked and drank without touching her food. She then dropped her linen napkin on the plate in front of her, letting the corner fall on a lighted candle. The napkin went up in flames as she continued to talk and drink. No one reacted. With one move I leapt from kitchen to table to slide the flaming lot from under her boozy nose. She kept on drinking without acknowledging what had happened. She then disappeared for too long a time. Found her fast asleep on my bed.

I was the bad dinner guest. I got blackout drunk on Burnetts and then told the whole dinner party of my boyfriend's friends that he was a terrible person and I hated him. He told me the next day and I have no memory actually doing this. In my defense I was 21.

I got invited to a dinner party by a couple I know through work. When I showed up it was just me and one of the couple, my co-worker. He lied about the whole thing to get me over to his place to fuck. I laughed and said "you could have just asked," he was hot as shit, big dick and fucked like a champ. I guess that makes me the bad dinner guest.

This didn’t happen to me but a friend of my ex’s threw a dinner party and one of the invited guests showed up with a hostess gift that had been given to him when he threw a dinner party the year before . He threw it up in his gift closet and forgot got about it. Fast forward a year and he was short of cash so he pulled said set of dish towels out of the gift closet to take to this dinner party . The problem was the hostess was the one who gave the guest the dish towels to begin with. Said hostess had an Imelda Marcos grade meltdown and the invited guest was asked to Leave

A gift "closet"? How sad.

I once brought a date to dinner at some friends. They really wanted to meet him, but I was hesitant as I knew he couldn’t hold his liquor and my friends were bound to serve multiple rounds of cocktails before dinner. He ended up pissing in a potted plant.

R40 why would you even date someone that was like that ???

Take a wild guess, Rose.

Wish we really had tags around here so we'd know how old the person posting is. A lady shows up to dinner with her own alcohol, drinks most of it and walks out with the bottle? She's not rude, she's an alcoholic. She is likely poisoning her brain every day with large quantities of alcohol and probably has been doing it for years, if not decades. It's an amusing anecdote, but it wouldn't be much more surprising if she peed in a potted plant or removed her undies at the table and fucked herself with the bottle neck. She's a full blown alkie. And some of them go into blackouts earlier and earlier to shut the body down from drinking more.

As for dish towel bitch, r38 I'm wondering how people could stand around and watch someone behave like that. She bought him dishtowels, he didn't use them and accidentally give her a gift that was exactly comparable to what she gave him. I'd probably never be friends with someone like that but if I saw something like that go down, i'd leave too. A decent hostess would have said nothing or cracked a joke. She could have even gently embarrassed him and had some fun at his expense. Would have made for a fun dinner party event. Instead she's the crazy bitch people are telling stories about years later.

OP here. I'm not young but my experience with functional alcoholics is very limited. I've only known a handful of alcoholics and all were the falling-down-drunk, cringeworthy variety.

The friend is very generous and has a bunch of people in her life who mooch off of her so I just assumed it was more of the same.

Now that people have pointed out her problem, it does seem obvious.

If you bring food to a party at MY house then please deal with it before you go...don't just dump it off on me to deal with. This is one of the reasons why I ask people coming to my house for a party to bring NOTHING...if I'm hosting, then I'm hosting and providing the food and drink. If you want to bring wine or some fancy chocolates or little host gift, then great but really....you don't have to.

If I bring food to a party (which would technically be a pot luck) then I'm taking it home with me (if there's anything left to take home) after offering any of it to my host. If some other guest wants to take some home with them, they can ask me.

R45 has stated her boundaries.

The couple who brought a small bag of flavored nuts to a pot luck, and set them among the other dishes on the kitchen island. They left while the party was in full swing, but not swingy enough that I didn’t notice that they stopped their car in the middle of the street so the passenger could hop out, come back in the house, grab the small bag of nuts and leave again, never saying a word. So tacky. .

Actually the medicine cabinet in a bathroom is not a good place to store medicine anyway. If there is a shower the humidity is bad for the medicine.

[quote}Said hostess had an Imelda Marcos grade meltdown and the invited guest was asked to Leave

Your friend sounds more like Imelda Marcos who couldn't be bothered to remember who gave him a gift and was so tacky he re-gifted it to the same person. Tacky, Tacky, Tacky.

Well I had a cocktail party ones, made all the appatizers from scratch, white tablecloth setting, matching plates etc. Then one of my tacky guests showed up with a "gift" which he insisted be on the display table. It was smelly fish, Sushi in a plastic container he bought at Ralphs. He got upset I tired to put it on a nice plate.

Not a dinner party but a child's birthday...The family showed without a gift even though a Walgreens was across the street. My ex had bought nerf guns for the event and the dad stole them (I watched him do it but didn't realize he was stealing them, thought he was collecting the darts to play with it). The toy was obviously brand new and although it wasn't a present it could have been. They also went through the gift bags and took a bunch as well, some of the kids were bummed their bags had been stolen.

R51 here, forgot to add that although the nerf toy wasn't a birthday present my ex had gifted it to the lone boy at the party who was in attendance, he was bummed they stole toy

They also made a beeline for the food and booze, stuffed themselves, pilfered toys and took off

It's really not worth having people over for dinner unless they're your close friends

"It's really not worth having people over for dinner unless they're your close friends"

But, but, we LOVE to entertain, which is why we need an open concept kitchen where the guests can mingle while I am cooking.

R38 here, said hostess was a prissy little queen from Panama . While the re gifter should have known better and did apologize btw , it really wasn’t worth the full blown meltdown that insued. This was over 20 years ago but to this day, I never regift in the same town ever .

Sometime in the 70s my mom was planning a dinner party and 2 of the 3 couples called and said they had to back out as they were getting divorced. She used to go all out on these, but I think she gave it up after that

Eh, I don't think the OP's drink hoarder is an alkie.

As a card carrying drunk? I had booze everywhere when I was still drinking. In my car. In every room in my house. At my office. Bringing home booze was never a big concern.

If was at that dinner party? I'd have a flask for sure. But then I'd be drinking every one else's booze. All the while trying to make it clear I didn't have a problem (as if anyone else would even care).

I think the OP's drinker is just cheap as fuck.

R57 All drunks aren't the same.

Lesbians are very stingy.

"All drunks aren't the same."

I'll drink to that..............

I was at the grocery store once buying a regular size of Sky Vodka and I swear this old lady came up to me and proceed to tell me how good that was and how I am really going to enjoy it. She was all excited, having an orgasm just talking about it. That's when I realized drunks are probably to cheap to buy decent stuff since they guzzle it like water. And that's not even a really good brand.

[quote] "If you have an old school medicine cabinet in your bathroom there's a trick for that. Buy a bag of ping pong balls, stuff line the shelves with them just before guests come over. When someone excuses themself to go to the bathroom and you suddenly hear a bunch of commotion, you know who opened that up looking for drugs. There is NO REASON someone should be snooping in your medicine cabinet. It's not like you would keep extra TP in there or anything a guest should not be asking for first."

Fuck me, I would LIVE to be at that party, R31. I love you.

HAHAHHAHHA,When I was a teen I had a friend who brought a half bottle of soda to my house.

r61, a guy at Costco in CA did that to me with the Kirkland brand of vodka. He looked like an expert on vodka so I took his word on it.

Sky vodka is awful. I was experimenting with making vanilla extract for a while. Trying to see what would be the cheapest vodka you could use that wouldn't have "off" flavors. Sky was awful, IMO.

Vodka makes me choke

An uninvited friend of a guest got into an argument with the host; a knife was brandished, a pistol was pulled, the Queens screamed, the souffle was destroyed, and I soiled the sofa. All in all, a memorable night.

Greg came to my party and brought his signature dish of cod with tomato and prunes. Then to my horror, he left it with me and didn't take it home.

Second worst dinner guest brought me an Xmas decorations book when I am not Xtian. A new low in regifted gifts.

I increasingly think that dinner parties are inspired by someone's need to be told how wonderful they are and dominate the conversation for two hours, Or they have something to show off.

Just do simple BBQs where everyone brings booze or dessert.

I had a few people over for dinner and a game of cards. after a very pleasant dinner and a friendly game of cards, one of the guests announced that Princess Diana had died. Well, the one loudmouth guest let out a shriek that would have been heard in Paris. It ruined our night.

[quote] one of the guests announced that Princess Diana had died. Well, the one loudmouth guest let out a shriek that would have been heard in Paris. It ruined our night.

Which one ruined the evening, R70? The guest or the shriek?

I remember being out with friends that night to see a concert in Flagstaff, Ariz. When we heard the reports, our mood tanked, though we toasted and drank to her memory many times over. We allowed the rain to drive us indoors, ditched the concert and went for sushi and teppanyaki at a different hotel… completely bombed. Two of us meandered into a wedding reception at the hotel, crashing it for just one dance. Another puked in the ladies’.

The end of the night was marked with a fight between four of us and one friend grabbing a dessert off the tray and throwing it at the rest of the group. It was a chocolate cheesecake. She missed, hitting the door instead. We ran out of there and into a cab.

Once we were a safe distance away I heard someone in the back of the can say, “Anyone want some chocolate cheesecake?”

Still, one of the best nights of my life, Diana notwithstanding.

I forgot to write that it was a birthday party for him.

I had a dinner guest once that arrived so drunk, he ended up thinking the two pillars with a glass top off to the side was a fireplace and then he proceeded to dip his chicken into his wine glass for extra flavor. No I am not kidding.

[quote] Greg came to my party and brought his signature dish of cod with tomato and prunes. Then to my horror, he left it with me and didn't take it home.

Sweetie, I left it with you because you're so full of shit, I thought the prunes might help! xx

I would like to nominate the guest from hell, who got completely wasted during dinner and managed to vomit beside the toilet and on the walls in the guest bathroom.

No better way to show your gratitude to a host who spent a lot of money as well as time in the kitchen to entertain his guests!

The guest that gets completely bloto drunk then wants to help you in cleaning up/washing dishes and breaks 2 plates and 3 wine glasses.

Speaking of drunks, met a couple who used to want you over their house all the time for dinner. Except it was mostly alcohol. Well your place, you do what you want, always made a stop for some grub on the way home. So the one time they agreed to go to dinner, I thought it would be different. Well it was but not how I thought. One of the guys was so drunk before he arrived he was not interested in food at all. He kept taking smoking breaks outside and ordering more wine but I think he ate no more than a few bites before he got sick, ran outside and threw up.

He later blamed it on the food and said, "that's why I don't like to go out to dinner, food is over priced and you can enjoy yourself much more at home". He and his partner never acknowledged the drinking. That's when I realized, true alcoholics really don't eat much. You cant drink if you stomach is full.

Ugghhhh! The really uncooperative one who refused to get into my basement kitchen's industrial-sized oven. Made me have to retime my cooking of all my stovetop sides and to tell all of social group guests to arrive an hour later--rude!

[quote] Had a diner guest steal all of my Xanax from the bathroom.

That’s what you get for picking up strangers at your local diner.

[quote] Well I had a cocktail party ones, made all the appatizers from scratch,

Brendad?…

[quote]That's when I realized, true alcoholics really don't eat much. You cant drink if you stomach is full.

Food kills the buzz R77.

Someone who kept farting at the dinner table. It wasn’t one then an apology. They were loud, smelly and legion, and accompanied by his own hoots of laughter and “better out than in!”.

Gross R82...and yet hilarious to imagine...

A HS friend had a wedding reception at a restaurant. It was a buffet, but a nice buffet (not a chain restaurant).

I was at a table with another HS friend and noticed that she had 2 plates of food, loaded up. I realized later that she was only moving the food around on the plates, not eating anything. She also had no eyelashes (she had thick, dark eyelashes when we were young). She was also late to the wedding ceremony. We grew going to Catholic school, but she switched to some evangelical church afterwards.

Point is: she was anorexic with some other problems, pretending to eat but just moving food around on plates.

It’s me. I’m a gastric bypass patient. I like to overeat during dinner parties then puke my food up on the table.

Just invite a vegan to a party

Marbles, R20, R31 et al. Place a layer of marbles on the bottom shelf in your medicine cabinet to ward-off pilfering guests. The sound of 60 marbles hitting the tile floor will not only shock the busybody, but will attract your and the other guests' attention as well.

Medicine chest sneak thieves: you have been warned.

Brilliant, R87. How do you deal with the nosy guest when he returns to the table? Pretend that nothing happened? Or steer the conversation to hemorrhoid ointments and sleeping pills?

R87. Ignore it (if he hasn't made a hasty, embarrassed exit); you can rest assured no one will ever again rummage through your belongings.😂

^oops, R88

People with trendy dietary needs translation PITA

oh no R82 that bitch would have been one and DONE. I cant even conceive of such crass behavior.

My ex had cooked a multicourse dinner for several people, including a friend of his best friend (whom we never had met).

Fat nasty queen shows up late, monopolizes conversation with tales of Gay Men's Chorus, then stops the meal after the second course to announce "the cigarette course," leaving the table and going outside. He actually expected us to stop eating and wait for him.

The latter half of the evening was a monologue about how the Unitarian church changed his life.

My ex's best friend apologized PROFUSELY the next day.

Too bad none of you losers have a home featuring.... wait for it... a guest bathroom.

A drunken guest who continually held his cocktail glasses at an angle when sloshed, spilling drinks all over the floor. I guess most of these stories deal with wasted people.

Dear Abby, can a lot of booze and manners ever peacefully co-exist?

I don't recall having any memorably bad guests. But I hate when guests offer to help me in the kitchen. It's well meaning, but I abhor anyone in my zone.

I keep medicine in my nightstand drawer. I don't have a "medicine cabinet" and my bathroom storage is for grooming products, cleaning products and paper supplies. AKA things one actually uses in a bathroom.

This thread reeks of Ben-Gay and mothballs.

I understand your point r43 but personally, I would have had more fun witnessing the Imelda-grade meltdown than any witty bon mots later in the evening.

Doubt the guy is here anymore but someone once told the story of when they went to an outdoor summer party at a friend's house, and the host had set up the grill by the pool. As he was grilling, the DLer got too drunk, started twirling and singing along to "I Only Wanna Be With You" and knocked the grill into the pool.

[quote] It's well meaning, but I abhor anyone in my zone.

Is it safe to assume then, R96, that you’re an anal virgin too?

R99 was it an electric grill?

R96, I always give them some lowly grunt job to do. Chopping vegetables, setting the table, brining extra chairs in. Put them to work on the stuff you don't want to do to get them out of your hair.

Back in the 80s I met this really hot white guy who loved Asians. He was at a party full of nothing but short twinky Asian bottoms, this dude ended up killing and eating every last one of them. Bad Jeffrey. Bad Jeffrey.

"bon mots"

Oh, dear!

If you’re going to “oh dear!” over a French error R104, shouldn’t it really be something like “Dommage!” or even literal as in, “oh Cher!”?

I knew some bitch would say that.

It was my parent's 12th night party. A cousin's new wife sat down at the big old dining room table and began touching up makeup and brushing her hair.

Our normally quiet family friend lost her shit and loudly explained people were still eating and it was revoltingly unhygienic behavior.

The wife came into the breakfast room and explained some old woman was a bitch to her and another guest asked,"Are you talking about my mother?"

I was having a lovely dinner party until a thin man in black showed up.

I don’t know what it is, R108, but it seems like Monty Python is a good way to kill a mediocre thread these days on DL.

You're welcome, R109

First world problems.

In the middle: This music sucks. Have you got anything that sounds like bath house music?

I kid you not.

Bath house music lol What would that be?

R30 Ah well, there you go--people in their 70s!

R113... I have no idea what he meant. If it's any value, we refer to this individual behind his back as Celine Dion... high octane and very loud. It's actually quite unfair on Celine Dion, but the high levels of emoting just made it work. Stupidest person I've met. Vile. And a school teacher, so out there are successive generations of revenge on some of the fraus and mug cradlers that unhinge so many of you.

Can we have a worst dinner hosts thread? Because I have a few of those stories...

I have an old friend who thinks absolutely nothing of showing up to a SEATED DINNER over an hour late.

One time it was me. A friend took me to a sit down dinner party that he told me about as we were walking in the door. We had been out running errands and he said we'd "get dinner". He knows I hate socializing but he wanted to show me off (sure I'm a troll now but I used to be hot a solid 8). But I'm an introvert, I need time to psych myself up for "gay dinner party" mode.

Plus, I was dressed for errands and I'm a life long vegetarian but I hate to talk about it. I don't want attention on me and I eat what's served. This time it was shrimp scampi, which was delicious but about halfway through my friend says "OH, I forget to tell you he's a vegetarian". The host gets all flustered and I say, "No, not all the time, this is delicious, butter garlic shrimp, really this is wonderful".

The hosts run in to the kitchen and start arguing, 2 faux New Yorkers started having a cunt measuring contest over who had the best address and my friend points to me and says "He lives in the Bronx" The whole table looks at me just as I remember why I REALLY don't eat shrimp, I'm allergic. I have hives all over, I can't breath or talk except to say "benedryl". More awfulness ensued, yada yada yada, I don't talk to him anymore.

We were vacationing with 2 other couples staying in Provincetown. One of the men had a very wealthy boss who had a summer place there and invited us all for dinner. It was a lovely home and a fantastic dinner, he and his partner were wonderful hosts. One of the men in our party excused himself to go to the bathroom, and ended up being in there a long time - so long that the host asked if he was OK. Turns out he clogged the bowl with because he took a giant shit. It overflowed and made a giant mess, that he was trying to clean up. There was shit and wet towels all over the floor, and the water had leaked through to the downstairs neighbor.

^It was YOU, go ahead, admit it.

I was a "plus one" at a funeral when a horrified guest in a home did this. No one knew me other than my friend so I said "I'm a plumber" and handled it. I was happier cleaning up a stranger's shit than I was at the dinner party I described above.

PS Keep a plunger in the bathroom cabinet, even a small one wrapped in cellophane. FACT- Sometimes people need/use a lot of toilet paper. I blame the hosts!

[quote]Our normally quiet family friend lost her shit and loudly explained people were still eating and it was revoltingly unhygienic behavior.

I'm with the normally quiet family friend on this. I would have spoken up too. Never put a brush or comb anywhere near the kitchen or dining room.

[quote]Turns out he clogged the bowl with because he took a giant shit. It overflowed and made a giant mess, that he was trying to clean up.

Imagine the panic you would feel. So embarrassing. Though I also can’t imagine needing to take a giant shit during a dinner party. Shitting is something you do at home, at 8:30am. Not at someone else’s house in the evening.

The heart has its reasons. Why shouldn't the intestines?

This happened about 25 years ago at a Thanksgiving dinner with my roommates at the time. One of them was always bringing home obnoxious strays from the bar, and he showed up to dinner with this dirty drunk dyke who kept crowing "I was out makin' babies last night!" - apparently she'd been fucking random guys in a bid to get pregnant. Anyway, long story short, she got into an argument with my boyfriend at the time, who LOUDLY called her a cunt right to her face. She retreated to a bedroom and passed out after that. Never saw her again after that, thank God - I shudder at the thought of that woman having children!

I'm a legal assistant in Houston. My boss, an American litigator, invited me to a holiday party. He said it was casual and he wanted me to enjoy a nice dinner. His husband, an Asian pediatric oncologist, and him have a beautiful home in the River Oaks neighborhood. The party was low-key and elegant. Probably about twenty to thirty guests.

I made the mistake of inviting another legal assistant. She was a real dykey bitch. She complained the entire time. It was so awkward and it ruined the mood. She made a few comments about "the chinks." My bosses husband (who immigrated from Shanghai) overheard and very politely asked her to leave.

She continued to complain about them for an entire year. How they were bourgeois pigs who made too much money and did not give a damn about the poor. She went on and on, even telling her friends about them.

I just thought it was a nice and elegant holiday party. That bitch was ungrateful.

[quote] She made a few comments about "the chinks."

Typical Texan. 3 drinks in and the rose tinted glasses come off.

R126 Yeah, he is a very nice and intelligent man who came here from Shanghai. He had to take like five exams to practice medicine here since he went to medical school in China. I'm just surprised he asked her very nicely and politely to leave.

She got fired from her legal job and got hired at our firm. #Awkward. The lawyer husband definitely recognized her. She didn't last long and shes fat now.

[quote]She made a few comments about "the chinks."

I literally raised my eyebrows. Wow. Which is odd, to be shocked, given how often you read the word cunt on here.

R128 She was saying it in a very derogatory way. I can't believe she said that about the HOST in his OWN HOME at a CHRISTMAS party.

There's no other way to say it. That she would dare to in his house - I guess it makes sense if you'd think it in the first place.

R130 what? Please type English.

R130, OK. Fuck off.

Sorry, that really pissed me off. For R131, some English: fuck off.

Most of these are about drunkards. I thought I was going to have to clutch my pearls over the use of the wrong fork or salting food before tasting.

R118 Uh, who just suddenly forgets they have an allergy to shrimp? That makes no sense. Are you stupid or lying?

R125 Uh, why the fuck did you invite such a nasty cunt to go with you to this party? Are you stupid?

Uh, maybe you are.

The boss's husband emigrated from Shanghai.

My family member once took a massive, smelly, horrific dump in another family's guest bathroom after Thanksgiving dinner. The guest bathroom was one of those tiny ones by the front door down a little hallway with no fan or window.

The stench was so horrific they actually called us 1 or 2 days later to ask if the family member was okay. They were worried they gave us all food poisoning.

R135 I did not think she was going to be rude. She just broke up with her girlfriend and I thought she would enjoy a posh holiday party. She just bitched the entire time.

Thank god my boss (the lawyer) did not hold it against me.

Did she ever have any breakthroughs with her issues with the “chinks”? Was her ex Asian?

R139 No, she got fired. At my firm, my boss (the host) hinted to me she had a very bad attitude and did not get along well with others. I knew that would happen.

She was an overweight lesbian who had bad money management. She always bitched about the rich. She made good money, but was always broke and it was always someone else's fault.

[quote] they actually called us 1 or 2 days later to ask if the family member was okay. They were worried they gave us all food poisoning.

That’s actually a good example for the "Worst Dinner Host" thread, R137. The hosts obviously wanted to shame your family member and concocted a waspy excuse to do so.

One year at Christmas, a cousin of ours had had a "bad flu" just a day or two before we all gathered for the holiday but she felt well enough to attend and even bring a dish to share.

Well, the stupid bitch had norovirus and she was still sick and highly contagious and gave EVERYONE in the family norovirus, which is essentially a hella nasty virus that leaves you puking and shitting for 24 to 36 hours.

Same bitch also broke our toilet at another family dinner years later.

Stupid one eyed twat.

Racists and bigots are almost always underachievers who blame others for their predicament. If a person of color has more than they do, it’s because they are gaming the system—or exploited an opportunity that should have been theirs.

It would be like going to a store and wanting nut loaf, and if they are out, storming out, complaining about “lezzies”. There’s no direct correlation aside from my belief that there is, simply because I know that lesbians love nut loaf as much as 🐱—well not quite, but almost.

That’s just like that lesbian assuming something nefarious about the wealth of that Asian man. Her thinking is, why am I the poor one?

r142 need more info on the one-eyed part.

My moms side of the family. Classless.

Yeah, but what happened to her eye??

R142 and R146 She was born with some fucked eye condition and eventually they had to yank it out and she had a creepy, poorly fitting glass eye.

Strangely, her father also only had one eye but his issue was caused by fireworks blowing up in his face when he was a kid.

The racist lez sounds like a hoot!

R148 are you in Houston? She is a Maryland lesbian who immigrated to Houston and hates it here. She's been here over 25 years though.

Bump

Does she have a mullet and cane?

[quote]Shitting is something you do at home, at 8:30am. Not at someone else’s house in the evening.

You have that good control of your bowels? Wait until you get older dude.

[quote]Racists and bigots are almost always underachievers who blame others for their predicament.

Lots of rich people are racist. Most are Republicans too in spite of what you hear on Fox news about "Hollywood elite" And most rich neighborhoods most cities in the US are very Republican, with only a few places in CA and NY being an exception.

R118 You eat what you're told to eat! You have no convictions, do ya cunt? Now if only someone would tell you to jump off an 800 story building. That'd make me very happy.

My cousin Sharon invited me to dinner at her place in Livingston, NJ. I show up and I’m the last one there. I don’t know anyone else there but they’re apparently work friends of hers. One of them is getting much praised for showing up despite not feeling well, like this makes him a hero or something.

So we all sit around the table and Sharon comes out with the main course first (my family isn’t a multiple course family), beef bolognese, and it smells great and she puts it in the middle of the table and the not feeling well guest leans forward and vomits directly and violently into the beef bolognese.

[Quote]Same bitch also broke our toilet at another family dinner years later.

Oh, dear. Heh heh.

This thread reminds me why I actually hate dinner parties and turn most invites down. So many gay men think it's fun to have dinner parties but you can see from here all the things that can and do go wrong. Some deserved bitchyness, some just over strung queens. I hate having to eat food I dont like while being forced to pretend I love it and and to complement the chef.

HOST: "Do you like it? Now tell me the truth, it's good hu?, I spent all day making it, it's my mom's recipe with my own special twist."

Can't we all just meet at a restaurant?

^^ True. I recall a dinner party during which the two queens served home made FISH SAUSAGES. My date and found many different ways to chew and spit out that horror. Worst dinner ever

EW Fish Sausage? 🤮🤮🤮

R158 Considering how you can't compose a proper sentence, it's easy to see who the cunt is.

^^ English comprehension problem? What threw you, Lenny?

R60 Joey Luft.

My niece showed up to out family Christmas dinner with nothing at all. WE had all bought her a present and she accepted outs and just said she hadn't had time to get any, despite the fact there was a mini-mart open on the corner of the street and she could have just got a box of chocolates or something. After dinner she said she didn't feel like desert and left giving fake exaggerated hugs to everyone "You guys are the best family ever!".

My mother was so pissed off about it (it was the last straw in a series of selfish behavior) she actually cut her out of the will and left her share to her sister, so that little fucker is in for shock at some point. And to think, if she has just spent $10 on a box of chocolates she's still be up for a payday. .

Your family sounds cunty R163, including your mother. Guess where the daughter got it from.

I have to agree with r164. Cutting someone out of a will over slights? How old is the niece?

Not really a dinner guest, but I had a lesbian friend visit me once from out of town when I was living in Shanghai as an expat. She is a white, overweight, butch Canadian who at the time was going through this black woman phase. I took her out to pizza, and out of the blue, she said she wanted me to marry her so she could get a green card so she could move to the US and be with black women. I am a gay man and this was before marriage equality, so it would have been a fake marriage. What was in it for me? I would get USD 5,000, and I could get my MBA at a cheaper, but still good Canadian college (at the time, I was starting to look for MBA schools). She wouldn't shut up about it during the whole fucking meal, and basically ruined the whole meal and evening for me. I thought I was going to have a nice meal with a friend, not be bombarded with a ridiculous proposal. She had already had zero success with online hookups with black women in Canada AND the US, so not sure why she thought having a green card would increase her chances of getting black pussy. It was obvious that any women she would meet would RUN and avoid her. I stopped being her friend after that, because she was just so annoying that night.

R166 Rule number one:

Butch Lesbians = 🚫Class

Butch lesbians, not regular ones are like high school straight dudes with taped down tits only more curd and tacky. They are like hyper "dudes".

R142 Did you go on Judge Judy?

[Quote] One of them is getting much praised for showing up despite not feeling well, like this makes him a hero or something.

This is my covid silver lining. Any idiot with a sniffle, sneeze, cough, fever in the office has to stay the fuck home. Plus no more potlucks with turd cookies and food from colleagues that smell like feet and B.O. so who knows what the clealiness of their homes are like.

[quote] so who knows what the clealiness of their homes are like.

Oh, dear.

"...so who knows what the cleanliness of their homes is like."

R163 is an obvious troll and not a very good one. Her story is not even the slightest believable.

R170 Your correction was entirely wrong. So should have been capitalized/began a new sentence and it also should have had a comma after it. There is always a comma after so when it begins a new sentence.

R170 - thanks for the correction! English is not my first language.

No, R169. Clearly Your mother tongue is “cunt.”

Reading R157 through r167 was a dizzying grammatical experience. Was it the same person?

R157 -

I hope you stay home for good or stick to restaurants on your own. You sound like an unbearable dinner guest to have.

R175 Yes. That is an easy way to spot sock puppets of trolls. When a thread has the same horribly constructed posts like this one, guaranteed it is just one troll. They aren't smart enough to disguise themselves.

Who says I am disguising myself you idiots? Sock puppet accounts? PHU-lease. People post more than once per thread you know.

Unbearable dinner guest? Sorry but if someone served "fish sausages" like R158 describes, you should not invite people over for dinner without a warning and a barf bag.

I went to another holiday party this past weekend hosted by my boss, the American litigator and his Chinese oncologist husband. They were super nervous about COVID and omicron, so it was only about ten people. I did not bring a guest this time. It was fun- they hired a pianist with the Houston Symphony to play music. NO BAD GUESTS!

My boss always invites me to these. Even though there is that boss/employee barrier, him and his husband have become dear friends. They are also loaded. I'm not sure how much, but their stock broker was there. lol My boss has been tried to get me to invest with him for years, even though I don't have much money. Their brokers says he will do any favors for my boss, so $$$$$.

r179- DO IT!! I wish I had that offer- clearly the guy knows what he's doing.

R180 I don't have much to invest and he won't make any money, I need an IRA. My firm 401(k) does not have much. My boss told me I need to have a few IRA's, a small 401(k), and two individual accounts- one funding and one with investments. However, I can't afford all that.

You should do it R179, opportunity is knocking on your door and it's a chance of a lifetime. But I understand not having the money. Your boss sounds a little clueless. He's your boss, he should have an idea of how much or little you are making. He sounds clueless to people who are not on his income level.

r179, Do you not earn enough or are you spending too much? You really need to be saving.

I guess I was the bad dinner guest.

I was so thrilled when a guy I had the biggest crush on invited me to a dinner party at his apt. He was inviting 5 other guys.

I spend a week wondering what I should wear and picking out exactly the right wine.

I show up. He opens the door. The first thing he says is “Oh, I forgot I invited you.”

20 years later, it still hurts.

No, r184, he’s the bad host in his scenario.

I hope you cut off all contact with him afterward.

R184 is the biggest loser in history for making up such lame fairy tales. Good fucking christ.

This girl, a dancer, the type who makes herself a little too comfortable wherever she goes. This one clipped her toenails at the dinner table.

r186, I believe r184's story and that it left him totally wounded. Why? Because this is at least the fifth time that he has told that story on DL.

^ Sorry folks, tried to post google search results but didn't work.

R184 types like a 5 year old. A retarded 5 year old.

I remember you telling us that before R184. My ass would have turned and left without saying one word and I would have never spoken to him again.

I just can’t believe anyone would poop at a party in the evening at someone else’s home with numerous guests around.

I understand that things happen sometimes but why stay!?!? I would make up literally any excuse, leave the party and go to a public restroom if I had to. I’d leave, poop my pants and walk home if it came down to it!!

I have gone poop at a party before, but it was not obvious and no one knew. This is why you have a candle lit in the bathroom

[quote]I understand that things happen sometimes but why stay!?!?

When you got to go, you got to go. I never get that much warning. I would never have time to excuse myself, say goodby, makes excuses to leave, shlep to a garage, drive around a big city in rush hour traffic were all the public bathrooms are locked, then hope no on is in there hope some homeless person hasn't decided it's his new office.

My alcoholic Grandmother drank a jug of cheap red wine and vomited all over the Thanksgiving dinner. It was her house , though, so it was ok.

The anti-chink lez should be a DL celebrity. She sounds like she deserves a documentary.

R188, yes, I’ve told the story before on DL.

No, I didn’t leave. I was so enamored by the guy that I swallowed my pride and continued. Dinner was fine but I also understood that, despite my huge crush, he would never see me the same way. I did stop talking to him afterwards although he called a few times and left messages (oddly, to keep the friendship going, I guess).

r193 they knew!!!

One should always douche before visiting someone else's home for the evening. Seriously.

I fast and watch my diet before dinner parties like I do before bottoming

There's nothing wrong with pooping at someone's house. Christ, some of you are truly, hopelessly uptight. People poop. Almost no one poops on a schedule. Shit happens. Hosting people in your home requires actual hospitality, generosity, and grace. Stop shaming people for having g digestive systems.

The true horror is inviting someone to your house and not having candles, matches, or room spray available in the bathroom for your guests. One can poop at a party undetected, but the host needs to be prepared in advance.

^^R201 = the Miss Manners of bowel evacuation etiquette.

Some people don't put matches and candles in their bathrooms for parties because they fear their relatives and/or the children of the guests will burn their houses down.

I seem to be in the minority here, but I maintain that unexpectedly needing to defecate at a dinner party is odd. I cannot imagine having such capricious bowels.

R204 It all depends on what is served at the dinner party, how it is prepared, and how much one consumes, as well as how long one is expected to stay. (For instance: explosive diarrhea, hint hint)

[quote] I cannot imagine having such capricious bowels.

People who differ from you exist. Their existence is as valid as yours. And some of them are different in that their bowels don't run like clockwork. Comnrary to whatever you've been told, this is actually quite normal.

Our diets vary as well. Someone on a plant-based diet will typically poop more frequently than meat eaters.

And, some people have digestive problems like IBS and Crohn's disease.

[quote]And, some people have digestive problems like IBS and Crohn's disease.

Not at ***MY*** dinner parties! At ***MY*** house! Only able bodied people need accept my invitations!! If you don't poop on a regimented schedule daily, just DIE YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF HUMAN GARBAGE. I cannot imagine living like such a degenerate!! Perfect bodies that only function perfectly, at all times! Anything less is simply inferior and not worth having in ***MY*** life!!! Perfection only, at all times!!!

Keep a bottle of Poopouri conspicuously displayed on your toilet tank.

Walmart.com is clearancing holiday Poopouri right now for $5, that's half price. I know I'll be tutted for fragrance and Walmart, but some of you smarter bitches will covertly add it to your cart, so I've done my job.

[quote]I cannot imagine having such capricious bowels

I only get about 5 minutes warning, that's it. Cant force it before or at will. Doc says it's totally normal. No, I dont have IBS. And yes, I have pulled off the freeway during my commute to work from time to time.

Pooping during a dinner party is not a sin. Backing up the toilet and leaving it for others is.

TIP: When at a strangers house, use the 3 flush system:

1. Courtesy Flush = Makes white noise so no one can hear you take the dumb.

2. Main Flush = After you poop your brains out.

3. Paper Flush = In case there is a backup, all that shows is paper.

Bonus Tip: Never trust a fart.

I will nominate my mother as worst dinner guest- my stepfather had arranged a celebratory 60th birthday dinner (sister and her BF also in attendance) in the kitchen of Charlie Trotter's in Chicago. He flew me in from L.A. as a surprise, and we were all very excited about it. I hid, pretended to be the sommelier, and presented to menu to her, with the whole kitchen was watching. She looked up and said in a very monotone voice, "Oh, it's you". Dead silence, awkward retreat to my chair at the table. No tears, no smiles, no hugs.

To this day, we tease her about it, and all she says that she was in shock. But it appears she never got out of it. Thanks Dragon Lady Mom.

r212 that’s amazing, how did the rest of the evening go and how was she as a mother when you were a child?!?!

Are you Asian, r213?

At the other end of the spectrum mother is black and screams in delight if she sees her ophthalmologist at the supermarket, LOL.

Always light a match after poo pee doos.

Most people don't carry old school match books with therm anymore Gramps. I haven't seen anyone light up with one in decades.

LOL. The Dino-gays of the DL never got past the 1970s.

r213 once we got some wine in us, it got better. My parents divorced when I was 6 or 7, and I went to live with my father, so she did the best she could.

r214 yes. Chinese.

R211, a courtesy flush is what you do immediately after you drop the bomb. That way you at least dispatch the stinky poop before you clean up.

You want to give the shit the absolute minimum amount of time possible to foul the air; a courtesy flush accomplishes this.

[quote]In the middle: This music sucks. Have you got anything that sounds like bath house music?

You have such elegant friends.

[quote]Can we have a worst dinner hosts thread? Because I have a few of those stories...

Why don't you start one, r116?

Years ago, I was at a party thrown by a very pretentious queen in a high rise. He has been telling everyone how much he paid for his god-awful sofa that had wings on it.

Well, some drunk woman sat on one of the wings, and not only did it snap off, but the whole sofa flipped on broke even more.

Our host began yelling "GET OUT!" At first, I thought he was just talking to the woman who broke the sofa, but he was talking to EVERYONE.

He just stood in the middle of the living room, with his arms crossed, tapping his foot and yelling "GET OUT!" until everyone left.

Just learned that the worst dinner guest to whom this thread was dedicated now has Covid.

Was that Bobby Trendy R222?

These stories are great. Keep 'em coming.

R219 is correct. I even do that at home when I'm alone. It's a good habit and prevents the toilet from clogging.

And this stuff is great to eliminate odor:

A friend introduced me to these- incense matches. Easy to carry, works well, no cans or fluids to carry around., more subtle to place in the bathroom for guests. No actual flame. You can also buy these on Amazon, but here’s the company’s website:

I wrote "Helter Skelter" in ketchup on a host's refrigerator.

So I guess I was the worst guest that night.

He went BANANAS.

I want the racist lez to do a DL interview.

R228 that’s hilarious, did he know it was you who did it?

Worst Dinner Hosts

My worst dinner party guest was a famous actress. I won't say her name.

She arrived with a scale and insisted on weighing her plate. During appetizers she demanded to know what fish we were having -- the menu had already been changed to fish at her bequest and she simply flung her hostess gift at me from her car as she left.

That's not hilarious R228, it's tacky and rude. Thanks for making a mess in my kitchen for you stupid little joke. Did you clean it up at least?

Plugging up the shitter with a deuce is not a good thing at a party.

r232, just be glad she didn't fling a cup of urine at you.

I nominate myself as worst dinner guest. We all hated our boss but you had to go to his annual holiday get together at his house……or else. We all dreaded going but the one good thing is that his party was from 6-10 pm so it gave us all time to meet up after his party and have fun without the boss. Anyway, I snuck up to his bedroom on the 2nd floor which had a bathroom (the party was on the 1st floor) and left a huge shit in his toilet and didn’t flush. I locked the bathroom door on my way out so that no one else could get in. I hope the shit marinated and stunk to high heaven when he opened the door. I left the company soon after so I never had to go to his party again.

R236 just described her birth when her mother shat her out.

Almost 20 years ago, I had a dinner party. After dinner and during drinks, a friend approached me and said, "I think you need to see what's happening in your powder room."

When I knocked on the door, someone purred out, "Come in. There's an opening."

When I opened the door, I immediately noticed the smell first (poppers) and that someone was on the floor second. It was a friend's date to dinner, who had shown up very late, while the rest of us were already eating, wearing tennis shorts. Now, he was wearing only a black jockstrap and a black harness. I remember wondering where the harness came from, before reminding myself that it didn't matter. My friend had told me that this guest was acting like a toilet and there were signs that that was correct. I asked this person (I couldn't recall his name) to leave. He told me I was very rude. That only amused me later.

That was the last dinner party I ever had. It seemed more convenient to just meet up with friends at restaurants.

R238 wins.

Then she pulled a white rabbit out of a hat box and proceeded to tell funny stories.

You won, Jane. Enjoy the money, I hope it makes you very happy.

Dear Lord, what a *sad* little life, Jane. You ruined my night— completely—so you could have the money, that I hope now you spend it on getting some lessons in grace and decorum. ‘Cos you have all the grace of a reversing dumptruck, without any tyres on. So Jane, take your money, and get off my property.

[Quote]Shitting is something you do at home, at 8:30am. Not at someone else’s house in the evening.

This reminds of a guy I dated years ago. He had weirdest habit of getting up in the middle of the night to take a crap. I'd feel him getting up from the bed, going to the toilet and he never shut the door. I'd hear everything. Guess he thought I was asleep. That relationship did not last long.

[quote]My friend had told me that this guest was acting like a toilet and there were signs that that was correct.

For some reason this sentence made me fall apart laughing.

238, how rude of you. Had a guest providing urinal service during your party and didnt realize he was just there to give guest more choices. 😂🐷🐷🐷🍺🍺🍺☔💦💦

Maybe not the worst but definitely tacky. Had another gay couple over for dinner and a neighbor as well. As dinner was over and I was cleaning up before serving dessert, I grabbed the trash bag and went down the hall to toss it down the trash shoot before it got over full. When I opened up the door, there was my neighbor being sucked off by my other dinner guest while his partner was still there in my apartment. They just looked at me, I said "that's appropriate" handed them the trash bag and shut the door.

Awkward because when I returned to my apartment, his partner was asking if I had seen his other half.

Sheridan Whiteside

r245, that's hot!

Chute, not shoot.

R245 Sure, Jan. That really happened. Good queef.

It happened R249. Why is that hard to believe? And yes, I stand corrected it's chute not shoot.

R250 Haughtily ramming the garbage at them is what derailed your stupid anecdote.

I didnt "Haughtily ramming the garbage" at them. I handed them the bag. They were in the way, it's a tiny room the size of a coat closet.

Who cares if it was real or not? It's hilarous.

That story rates a minus 50 million.

My cousin (pretentious) had a dinner party. My cousin bought a new wool area rug for the living room.

A guest arrived with a dog. We were all standing around, mingling, and sipping drinks when guest's dog started dragging his butt (scooting) across my cousin's (host's) new area rug. The guest glanced at her dog but acted like nothing unusual was happening.

My cousin (host) is usually outspoken, but also acted like nothing was happening.

After the party, my cousin's husband, who normally doesn't clean house, filled a bucket with soap and water and started wiping down the rug.

Was it a seeing eye dog?

No, it wasn't a seeing eye dog. Also wasn't a service dog. Nobody else showed up with animals, just that one guest.

r257 missed the joke.

Inconsiderate guests. They pretend to want to "help" but really are a nightmare. They leave your water or stove running for no reason while they go to another room. Spill food and crumbs all over and fail to clean it up. Drag your furniture across the floor.

Bring an uninvited guest without asking first.

[quote]A guest arrived with a dog.

Was it a rescue dog?

Was it Miss Peanut?

Any guest who drops a deuce while at a dinner party is vile. Take that shit at home!

The food served at the dinner party could have necessitated the sudden, urgent bowel movement.

Anyone who gets too drunk/aggressive.

Am I the only one who hides my narcotics? I even hide them from my parents. I could totally see one of them saying “oh he is young, he doesn’t need these but I do” and stealing some.

I have some left overs from two surgeries in the past ten years, and one from some dental work. I work in the pharmaceutical industry, and despite what they say, they do not go “bad”. I save them for rainy days of heavy snow shoveling, accidental falls, and other random injuries.

I have no rx pain killers at my house, but if I did, I would hide the rx pills. Not from immediate family, because I'm the most likely to be popping pills out of my immediate family. However, beyond that, I'd hide my rx pills.

Valley of the Dolls nods its head, in wonder.

If I ever had a reason to invite any family member over (and there never will be) I'd have to hide my wallet and credit cards.

R269 Is your dad Paulie Walnuts?

This is what I put my dolls in in the bathroom:

Oooh, I like.

Friend showed up half hour early to a New Years Eve dinner party (730pm instead of 8pm), and instead of just going inside she argued with her husband in the parked car. Once inside the argument continued and she spent the whole night screaming and accusing him of cheating with a coworker.

6 months later she confesses to me she actually made out with her coworker, supposedly to get back at her husband. I havent gone to a dinner with her since.

Oh my. Did you tell her off and then ghost her?

[quote] Am I the only one who hides my narcotics? I even hide them from my parents. I could totally see one of them saying “oh he is young, he doesn’t need these but I do” and stealing some.

All my prescription medications are in a box in my bedroom.

Bandaids, iodine, tweezers, nail clippers, saline etc go in the bathroom medicine cabinet.

Aspirin, cough mixture, vitamins etc go into a box in the kitchen. That way a guest doesn’t have to dig around.

I was friends with a married couple years ago (US) and the husband was the first US born child of German parents. The mother in law had NO boundaries where her son's marriage was concerned. My friends had their shit together, he was an architect and she did volunteer work because she really didn't have to work and they were fine with that, and they never had or wanted kids. They used to take a cruise every year. One year they had the mother in law house sit the pets and the plants. When they came back from the cruise MOL had rearranged the living room furniture because she felt it "opened up the living room and made it more homey".

At least she didn't rent it out on AIRBNB or join a motorcycle gang. Imagine coming home to see "Lenny" on the couch, picking his teeth with a switchblade.

She was way too old world to have ever thought of something like that.

I was also friends with the husband's brother, and HIS wife told me the MIL wasn't welcome in her house ever. I never got details.

R276 Is the MOL Xena Warrier Princess? How's some little old lady moving furniture around?

Who said she was little, R280? Older women are not cripples in general. They can be quite strong.

Novak Djokovic at the Outback.

R237 Thanks for that link. I used to buy the French paper incense books and keep it in an ashtray in the loo. I haven't been able to find any for ages.

^ above meant for R227

Ahh, the joys of the internet... just found them online!

You're welcome r283. I also found some fancy-schmancy Japanese ones:

Sheridan Whiteside

What a disgusting thread.

Exactly. All the dino-gays equate taking a shit with getting the aids from a black homeless tranny prostitute. LOL. Dino-gays are hilarious.

You know what … yes, poop is nasty but that’s where it goes, into the toilet. Do have the decency of using a toilet brush if required, and the best tip I have is dripping in some bathroom bleach, if available, into the toilet bowl prior to flushing.

I’d be somewhat confused if I went into the guest bathroom after hosting a dinner party and smelled patchouli.

Can you imagine having Donald Trump as a dinner guest and hearing him flush the toilet like several dozen times?

0/10.

Light a match after poopie doos!

bump

I’m hopes of remaining friendly with an ex of mine, I invited him over for dinner, along with some of our neighbors, whom we socialized with regularly. He showed up with a gal he had literally picked up off Back-Page or Craigslist, who sold her wares.

The poor kid had IV needle marks up and down both arms, and was homeless.

I kicked him out and offered her some food, a shower, a place to sleep for the evening, some clean clothes, and and some money.

We were all in utter disbelief and shock, however, we all quickly got her story out of her and rallied to help her. Eventually, she returned to Germany, but the poor girl had a very rough go of it in LA, to say the least.

My ex is utter trash who now lives in his Suburban while nodding off on painkillers.

Partner has invited worst dinner guest back for St Patrick's Day corned beef and cabbage. I specifically instructed her to bring soda bread. I should have said Bailey's.

I am. I went to my grandmas house for supper one time and fed my food to her dog.