Worst Host - to accompany the Worst Dinner Guest thread

Criminally undercooked chicken. To the point that the dinner guests to a man spit it out after the first bite before we could even try to say something civil to the host (like what part of setting the oven to correct temperature so you don't give your guests food poisoning didn't you remember?).

[quote] Then she got out a broom and swept up the 4 or 5 leaves he tracked onto the deck while we were drinking wine coolers.

OP are you nominating your boss’ wife as Worst Hostess of 1995? I mean, it wasn’t clear how she was awful until you talk about the beverages she served you.

Has to be my aunt for childhood Christmases in the 90s and early 00s. She would would insist on hosting Christmas every year and would get so stressed over it even though my grandmother hosted it in years past with zero fuss. Plus my grandmother did the turkey and bought a ham, my uncle cooked the pork and all she did was about mass amounts of supermarket coleslaw, pasta salad and potato salad and ice cream. The only cooking she did was roasting root vegetables in the ovens but she’d be so wired and jumpy and argumentative. We drove 5 hours there on Christmas morning and she would get mad that we didn’t bring hot food.

In a nutshell: neither enough food nor drink.

I’ve also been to an undercooked-chicken dinner.

The worst was my friend who’s always been a little obsessive about diets, not in a crunchy-granola way but in a fear-of-far way, who served unseasoned salmon, sweet potato mash, and steamed broccoli. It felt a little like a punishment.

A coworker who is much older than me made a point of calling me at the office and begging me to attend her daughter's engagement party at her house. She said it was very important because my husband and I would be the only ones there close to her daughter's age and how much it would mean to her daughter. I told her it would be difficult for me to attend, and she kept begging me to try to attend. So, I told her I would do my very best to be there. A few weeks later, when I showed up to the engagement party at the time/date she told me at her house, she and her daughter acted surprised to see me and my husband. Then, when dinner was served, oddly, no one sat at the dinner table. It took me a while to realize why--the dinner table was set with place cards at every chair, and my name and my husband's name were entirely absent from the table. I guess she forgot she invited me after calling me and begging me to attend!

My former sister-in-law, now widow. My brother and SIL had a Super Bowl party (the Buffalo Bills were In it; don’t know what year it was). She used her dust buster the minute she suspected a crumb had been dropped. She also emptied your ash tray if you flicked your ashes into it. I was completely distracting.

My nieces sweet 16. At some ginormous hotel dining room in an obscure part of the valley . 150 people. Hawaiian theme. My niece strutting around with coconut shells over her breasts. A SHOW of Hula dancers.

Time : 11:00 am I’m starving. There is a table full of Costco cookies - clamshell to table and punch . Comment to me as she gnawed on a still frozen cookie , « yeah. That’s all there is «  Hosts ostentatiously wealthy

What a weird bitch, r6.

Every few months, I host a small group of former coworkers. One girl, let's call her by her real name -- Kelley, always wants to bring her stupid boyfriend. I always say no and I'm clear about it -- the first time I hung out with Kelley and her boyfriend, he kept pouring shots down her throat and then disappeared for an hour when she was passed out at the bar. When I host, I serve a proper meal, I tell people what booze is available and suggest they bring any mixers or other drinks to supplement if they want, and one person is tasked with bringing ice. Kelley decides she wants to host, so that her stupid boyfriend can be included. She announces in our group text that she will be making spaghetti. (You know this will involve jarred sauce). And then she starts to list all the things other people are expected to contribute. Ice, coolers, byob, chairs (because we'll be on the front porch of her apartment building), and THE BEST: paper plates and plastic cutlery.

A picnic would have been a more graceful way to organize a gathering without providing shit, but that would've required her making the effort to leave her home.

GREG!

Three words:

Veal Prince Orloff

[quote] She announces in our group text that she will be making spaghetti. (You know this will involve jarred sauce).

I love you, r10.

A former coworker loved to throw micro-managed parties. She would plan party activities to occupy her guests' every minute. This kept her at the center of attention, but left no prospect of socializing with other people.

On my fourth time enduring one of her performances, she introduced a party game involving a quiz and a dunce cap she had constructed. Yep. A dunce cap. If you answered a question wrong, she expected you to wear her dunce cap. She targeted me with her first question, pronounced my answer to be wrong, and gleefully thrust her dunce cap at me.

Fortunately, my answer had been correct. I proved that in one sentence, opined that she probably should have brushed up on her knowledge before making a dunce cap that she was now going to have to wear for the rest of her party.

I left after that. When she invited me to her next party I told never again and that she was a despicable hostess.

A party in someone's honor (set as a fundraiser for her organization) at the main house of one of the wealthiest people around here (over a billion), the house being one of those absurd 50-room-and-multiple-outbuilding compounds of pools, gardens, stables, guest houses, and on and on. Only the cream of the area were invited.

People arrived to be directed around the house and behind it, where an uncooled tent awaited. No one was permitted in the house itself, and portable toilets were set up. The 100 people easily could have fit in the "ballroom," which had powder rooms available (I had been in the house previously.) We're talking US senators and reps, local officials, churchmen, community leaders, and the new and old wealth people.

Food was served in Styrofoam and plastic, and it was low-end cater-buckets in style. Cheap wine and beer, and no liquor. People can forgive a lot but peeing in an outhouse and not having at least three real drinks went much too far.

The people pretty much were blacklisted after that by anyone who didn't need them for business or cachet. They put the place up for sale and after about six years it's still sitting there.

Did anyone write a check or announce a contribution at the fundraiser, r15?

R16, the "host" and a few others had been finagled in advance to provide compensatory contributions to a fixed goal. More, of course, would have been acceptable but this was one of those "can't and won't fail" pay-back projects.

My understanding was that the lower end of this high-end bunch were the ones who slipped out of giving. They were the ones with prestige but less record or capacity for high gifts. They were insulted, because such arrangements needed to have been shared in advance out of courtesy and security. Presidential family members were there.

It was celebrated as a great success but the "take your shoes off before treading on my woodblock, Archbishop, and stop touching the woodblock, Mrs. Bush" host paid up. He didn't care. Even an unreconstructed vulgarian would have been better about it. This was more that sublime indifference to anything but himself, his wife and kids and those connected to them. A friend dated his son and she said he was almost too kind and inclusive. She had no intention of getting closer. Everyone else was just a player or a loser or a schmuck (not that in his end of the scene he would have used a Yiddish term).

It wasn't that much money for a funder like this - $1.25 m.

I posted this ages ago but a friend’s wife works in TV production they attended to Beyonce’s birthday party in LA. Half the guests were in a tent behind a velvet rope and were given top shelf liquor and Cuban cigars. Everyone else milled by the pool, were given the choice of a signature cocktail, a house red or white wine or a Corona, and ate chicken wings. Meanwhile Jay and Kanye and Leo ate Nobu and smoked Cohibas. They didn’t see the birthday girl blow out the candles but received a slice of cake and a glass of Ace of Spades champagne.

My friend’s wife didn’t end up producing Beyonce’s special.

[quote]So, I told her I would do my very best to be there.

This is not a valid RSVP. It is an impolite person hedging their bets, leaving things open for a better offer.

An RSVP is either "yes, I will be there" or "no, I can't attend." Responding, "I'll come if it suits me" leaves the host, especially of a sit-down dinner, in a very difficult situation.

So, no, you did not deserve to be thanked for finally showing up--or a place card at the table.

I have a friend who is always late. Even for his own dinners.

He invited us to come over for dinner at 7:30. When we arrived there was another couple waiting. We were told nobody had answered the door.

This was before cellphones so we couldn't call him.

After waiting 30 minutes, I left a Post-It on the door: "You invited us for dinner at 7:30. It is now 8:00 and you aren't here. By 8:01, we won't be either."

He called later to say he had lost track of time and was at the grocery store getting things to cook and didn't get home until after 8:30.

The guy who served us a very tasty venison and asparagus stir fry and then said "Now that you've eaten it, you have to hear how I killed it."

A group of us were in a resort town for a holiday. Just before we left, one of the couples announced that they were getting married at the resort, and, suddenly, the whole week would be about them.

One night we got invited to dinner at a restaurant by the couple "to celebrate our marriage."

I said to several friends, "While it is traditional that they pay for the dinner, it might be nice if we treat them as a surprise."

Well, there was no surprise. I soon realized that the "happy" couple were expecting us to treat them. The only problem was that they picked the most expensive restaurant in town and proceeded to order very expensive wines, extras (like a "cheese course"), and liqueurs just for them.

This really ran the bill up. And when it came, they just ignored it. One of their/our friends is a school teacher and his share for that one meal was about what he had budgeted for food for the entire week. I ended up giving him some cash and told him it wasn't a loan, but just a self-imposed embarrassment tax for what our friends had done.

At another resort a year or so later, they tried to pull the same stunt at a dinner at an even more expensive restaurant they had made reservations for all of us "to celebrate his birthday." During dinner, one of the friends left the table, flagged down the waiter, and told him he could add a 25% automatic gratuity to our bill if he divided it up by the couples/singles at the table. When the checks came, the birthday couple were visibly angry that they weren't being treated.

As we left, I said to another friend, "I felt bad that we didn't treat them. And the friend replied, "Don't. We picked up their dinner last night [something I had been oblivious to] as a surprise, but they had still wanted us to pay for this one."

I have a friend who keeps trying to set me up with someone every time she has a Christmas party.

Guy #1 was an ugly, frumpy, sweatpants wearing college dropout who was ranting about how people in academia are "pathetic" (I have a PhD), and kept trying to touch my leg when I was sitting next to him. She gave him my phone number that night and he would text me every few months for 3 years "just to say hello". I finally told him off and said to stop messaging, he ran to my friend complaining, who then got mad at me for being mean to him. "He is a nice guy but has a temper" is what I was told.

Guy #2 the following year was the cousin of the host. He got shitfaced drunk and told me he should have been dating me instead of another mutual friend of ours. He then passed out and knocked over a lamp. I am glad covid has given me an excuse to stop going to these parties.

Our chef for the evening passed out from drink and valium before the dinner had been put in the oven

Went to a pool party at a friend of a friends home and it was quite packed .At least 20 people were there. We all had a very good time ,there was plenty of booze and food available. However,unbeknownst to everyone,the friend of a friends husband had snuck into the room where everyone had left their coats and purses and stole whatever he could find. Come to find out he was a drug addict . She divorced him shortly after . Shame as he was very cute too.

I had plans with a friend who was a food/drinks writer. That day he called me and said "[fancy bar] asked me over this afternoon to try some new cocktails. I told them we had plans but they said to bring you along."

OK, fine.

We get there (the place is closed) and the manager/drinks master sits us down, describes the first drink, and brings over two glasses. It turns out one is for my friend and the other is for the manager.

When it's obvious that a drink is not coming for me, my mortified friend says, "Do you want to try a sip of mine?"

The manager didn't get it. Second round comes, I'm left out again — sitting in an empty bar/restaurant while the manager ignores me and goes on and on about the cocktail to my friend, who is growing more and more uncomfortable.

I drove two hours with my mom to visit my brother and his foreign-born wife. We hadn't seen them for months. We got there at five and had dinner at six. She prepared some really bad soup from her country that we could barely eat (borscht?). Then at 7:30, she said she was putting the baby down and it was time for us to leave! What a total bitch she is!

One of my nieces was getting married for the second time. She decided it should be a smaller, more informal affair since it would be her second. Her in-laws to be offered to host the wedding at their place. We were to shortly discover that they were also the absolute TRASHIEST of trashy rednecks. Since they would host, my niece's mom suggested our side of the family provide the food, as it would be an informal potluck buffet served outdoors.

My sister and I had made the cake for her first wedding, but there was no mention of doing it for her second. Naturally, the day before, I got a call about delivering the cake to her in-laws. "What cake?" I ended up making a last-minute cake, and my other sister agreed to drive it to these people's home and decorate it that night. I did, she did, and the rednecks plied her with copious amounts of booze while she was working on it. She got so drunk, the tiers ended up tilting in all directions, the icing colors were off, and the flowers and lace-work were sliding off the tiers. It looked like a cake made by a grade-schooler. My niece, upon her first view of her wedding cake, burst into tears.

The wedding day I drove my elderly mother and a couple of elderly friends of the bride's mother to this family's property (a good two-hour drive). We all handed over our food for the buffet. One of the elderly guests had a desperate need of the bathroom after that long drive. I went to help her into the house, and one of the rednecks barred our entrance: NOBODY was allowed in THEIR house. They'd rented a portable outhouse for the wedding. Fuming, I helped this old lady to the outhouse at the far end of the property, then stalked, steaming, over to the buffet where the redneck family was gathered. I reached for a cold drink. "NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO HAVE ANY FOOD OR DRINK UNTIL AFTER THE CEREMONY." My family members quickly gathered round, pointing out that it was OUR food they were guarding. I finally grabbed cans of pop and began handing them round while they growled.

Walking over to where the service was to be held, I helped my mom and the other two old guests to a row of folding chairs, when an an ugly old bitch in a dress shows up and SCREAMS at us "THOSE CHAIRS ARE RESERVED FOR THE BRIDE'S FAMILY." Turned out this harridan was my niece's soon to be mother-in-law. At this point I started yelling back, the bride and her brother (best man) rushed over, and her mother-in-law gave her brother the stink eye. "Who's THIS?" "This is my brother, he's our best man." (The bride's brother happens to be very short.) MIL bellows, "I didn't know you had a DWARF for a brother!"

At that point the bride's mother came over, spoiling for a fight. And my mom and the other guests quietly insisted on getting up and moving. Finally, the service was performed and done. Good thing, too, because we were all starving. But the wedding party took off somewhere to take wedding pictures. We waited an hour. Still no wedding party. So my siblings and I announced the buffet was open and led the guests over. The rednecks were furious, but the guests were relieved. The rednecks got angrier yet after the wedding party finally returned and the bride said it was okay that we'd started without them.

But then we went to get some of the champagne to pour out and serve round to the guests, and the rednecks slammed their hands on it again. The champagne and booze was only for THEIR side of the family. One of my sisters took a bottle of champagne anyway and began serving it round, and the rednecks went for her.

At that point, we'd all had enough, and the bride's family and guests arose en masse, walked to our vehicles, and left.

The bride cried, 'cuz her wedding was ruined. That's what happens when you marry into trash.

OP it’s fun to make up stuff!

Oh, and we found out later that the reason the rednecks weren't letting anyone into their house was because one of their other sons was a drug addict and a thief. They didn't dare let him in their house to steal them blind again, and they didn't want to single him out, so - nobody was allowed inside!

Classy, classy family.

A southern church wedding of 200 people with a buffet, and the DJ called one table at a a time to get food. By the time the last table got through 45 minutes later, most of the food was gone. No booze, either. I drove five hours to this mess.

Bump

A former friend invited me and two other friends over to his place to celebrate my birthday with a home cooked meal. He made spaghetti with sauce from a jar and told me that was my present because he was on a tight budget. That was fine. He didn’t get me a cake so one of my other friends excused herself, found a bakery and brought back a cake. For the rest of the evening he pulled out a home decor catalog that he was obsessed with (this was pre Amazon) and picked out stuff he wanted for his birthday the following month. Eventually the friendship ended. He was just too much.

R14 is the latest in a long line of What I Wish I'd Said posts on DL

In reality, he wore the dunce cap, even though he knew he was right.

[quote] Only the cream of the greater Linn County Kansas area were invited. There was Miss Julia Jenkins from Hair By Julia. Dr and Mrs. Miller, Jack Harris, the County Sherrif and Tom and Marge Malcolm who now own three McDonald's franchises and are thinking of opening a Chipotle. It was a night to remember!

[quote] this was pre Amazon)

So at least 25 years ago.

Check.

[quote] That's what happens when you marry into trash.

Nice touch, to DL-ize the ending. Works much better than your original "And I told them to die in a grease fire!"

[quote] my friend, who is growing more and more uncomfortable.

Did it not dawn on your friend that since HE was reviewing the manager's restaurant he could have just told him to get a drink for his friend too. I mean fuck, if he wanted to be nice he could have said "I want to get his opinion too."

But your friend held all the power there

[quote] where everyone had left their coats

Why would someone wear a coat to a pool party?

0/10

[quote] foreign-born wife

[quote] from her country

You have no idea where she is from, do you?

R22, why would you want to pay, again, for this couple's dinner?

[quote] By the time the last table got through 45 minutes later, most of the food was gone.

I'm not really seeing the problem here.

Did you expect to go back for a second helping?

Shouldn't most of the food be gone once the last table is finished?

My thoughts exactly R41- who keeps friends like this?

A friend invited me and another, mutual, friend to his house for dinner. I never knew him to cook and I was wary. I said, "What are we going to have?" He said sole (fish). I said that sounds bland. He said: not the way I cook it. Our mutual friend was assigned the vegetable side dish.

Dinner: sole (white, with salt and pepper), white rice, and ... cauliflower.

After dinner, friend / host wanted to play backgammon. I said I don't know how to play. He said I'll teach you. I had a lucky streak and was rolling doubles, over and over. I'm not competitive; my friend / host is competitive. I couldn't stop laughing re: my lucky streak.

Time for me to go home in my beater-mobile. I stop at McDonald's (due to the unsatisfying dinner). My car died at McDonald's. I called friend / host to please come pick me up. He said where are you. I said McDonald's. He said why are you at McDonald's? He was pissed.

R19 looking back, maybe you're right. But there was no formal card invitation and no formal request for RSVP. She made a phone call to my office, asking me and my husband to attend an engagement party. There was no mention whatsoever of a formal dinner, or any dinner at all. She begged me to attend. So, I'm not so sure. It was very odd. Maybe all such parties are formal dinners? I had/have no idea.

[quote] This was before cellphones

R20 also enforcing the It;'s Always 1987 Rule on Datalounge!

r46 enforcing the Nothing Happened Before 1987 Rule on Datalounge!

Cell phones existed in the '80s. However, very few could afford them and they were a lot larger than the phones of today.

[quote] A former friend invited me and two other friends over to his place to celebrate my birthday with a home cooked meal. He made spaghetti with sauce from a jar and told me that was my present because he was on a tight budget.

These people are tome deaf. He could have thrown a little movie night for you and served popcorn and it would be less weird.

I went to a friend's house for dinner. He told us to be there at X:00. We took a taxi and showed up at maybe X:15. He had just come home with a grocery bag, which included pasta sauce in a jar. He did serve us spaghetti with that pasta sauce for dinner. We were all really young and it really wasn't a bad experience, more odd than bad. But hell no, I wouldn't serve guests Prego sauce and spaghetti at my house.

R30 what state do these people live in? They remind me of someone I once knew from Georgia, really stingy and aggressive. Also is your niece still married to that guy?

R31 - I’ve been to so many weddings like that, and I always seem to be placed at the last table. And yes, by that time the food is all picked over. It makes you feel like an afterthought. I don’t go to weddings anymore.

I was invited to Thanksgiving dinner party and when I arrived the hosts (3 straight bachelor brothers who lived together—truly a scene out of The Accidental Tourist) had only managed to buy a turkey and nothing else. I arrived two hours before we were supposed to eat….turkey not in over because they had no roast pan.

So I ran to Whole Foods, bought the makings for a full Tday dinner, and put them to work as sous chefs while I cooked. Also had to get cookware because they had only one sad sauce pan.

I had asked these idiots many times in the lead up to Thanksgiving if they needed help (they had invited a dozen people for dinner). “No, no we’ve got it covered!” I arrived early because I strongly suspected otherwise and I was correct.

We managed to get dinner on the table only three hours after the planned start time. And it turned out to be one of my favorite Tdays. But these idiots are no longer allowed to host anything.

One time they invited me for dinner and all they served were M&Ms and beer. I’m not kidding! I made them order a pizza that time.

[quote]These people are tome deaf.

Then don't buy the audiobooks.

Ex-friend, who is a Realtor, went through tax records for all his invited friends before a dinner party.

During dessert, he started asking questions, hoping to humiliate people by catching them in a lie. "Do you own the condo you are living in?"

No one lied, which greatly disappointed our hosts. But it was the fact that our hosts were playing "Get the Guests" that made me never want to see them again.

BECAUSE R39,though it was a "pool party" it was a very chilly day.Yes,it gets cold in Fl,you putz.

R55 - shouldn’t your realtor friend have been reported for doing that?

My boss, for Secretaries’ Day, treats us to lasagna, salad, etc for lunch at work. Instead of getting a Costco lasagna for her employees, she buys about 10 single-serve frozen lasagnas & starts frantically microwaving/burning them, since only one will fit at a time. But then she starts cutting them in FOURTHS so each us had 1/4 of a single serve lasagna, all served at different times. Oh, but don’t forget your swag bag on the way out! Mine had a plastic glass with butterflies on it & a single packet of Country Time lemonade.

[quote]shouldn’t your realtor friend have been reported for doing that?

After that night, whatever he did was not my concern.

R28 wins. I've been to loads of shindigs and I have to say I've enjoyed them all. One friends wedding was outdoors at picnic tables. Another had an outdoor ceremony but a very nice catered reception.

Then of course through my activities with marriage equality I got invited to parades, fundraisers and the like. One fundraiser was at a mansion in Newport, RI owned by a gay couple. Being actively cruised at an event that had mayors, governors, senators and the like was interesting.

It was the first Christmas after my mom died. I had traveled and was spending Xmas with an old, childhood friend. Old friend was in a bad mood from the start. She offered me snacks from her fridge: leftovers from her office party. For Christmas dinner, she baked a frozen (commercially-made) lasagna. Her sister came by with some salad greens and commercially-made croutons.

Between the bad mood, frozen lasagna, and premade croutons, I was nonplussed.

Friend and I had known each other since we were 8 years old. We are no longer friends. It was this Christmas trip and other things as well.

Flew to visit a few old friends from High School. We stayed at my one friends newly bought farmhouse in rural Michigan. I live in NY, so it’s a flight and a long drive. Arrived for dinner and brought a beautiful gourmet basket as a gift. The dinner consisted of cheap white wine, beer, hot dogs and 2 bags of potato chips. If I were in my 20s that would have been fine but we’re all in our early 50’s. I also made the mistake of staying overnight. When we woke up it was instant coffee with half and half and Lender’s bagels and margarine. I was tempted to open the basket I brought but instead I left early.

As an out-of-state college student who worked on campus, I was invited to stay for Christmas by a staff member and his wife. On the way to their house, he stopped by a grocery store and said that the manager saved cheap meats for him. It turned out the meats had turned green, but apparently were still safe to eat (?). Anyway, we had sausage soup the first night and I could barely eat it. I pretty much fled the next day, saying I had school work to do.

Friend from school invited some people over to her place to watch football a few years ago. Her gigantic hound dog jumped up and tried to put his paws on my face and lick me the second I walked in. My friend just said "aww he likes you!!" and didnt try to restrain him at all.

Her place was filthy. Big huge clumps of dust on the hardwood floor and a thick layer of dust over everything. Bathroom had those orange rings around the water line in the toilet. Sink covered in hair. Both kitchen sinks were filled to the brim with dirty dishes. I went to throw something out and the garbage bag under the sink was overflowing and there was no new bag to use.

After that we brought the tv outside and were on their patio having guacamole dip she made and tortilla chips while her husband was BBQing some burgers and asparagus. Halfway through I noticed in the dip: a big long black thick dog hair. I stopped eating. The same fucking dog then came up to the bowl and licked along the edge of the bowl trying to get at the dip. My friend said "oh sorry!!", stuck her FINGERS in the dip and swiped away the area the dog had just licked, and then ate it.

I ate the grilled burgers and asparagus and promptly got the fuck out of there. To this day I cant eat guacamole.

I was on a trip, at a friend's house, and used her refrigerator ice & water dispenser to get myself a acrylic cup of iced water. I was drinking the water and discovered a lizard at the bottom of the cup. The only thing I could surmise was that the lizard had been hanging out near the ice dispenser and had fallen into the water cup.

A day or two later, my friend told me that she was driving to work, trying to sip water from her sip cup (with straw). She knew there was water in there, but no water would come out. She opened up the cup and there was a lizard lodged in her straw.

Disgusting. Lizards eat insects. She must have a lot of insects in her house.

*an* acrylic cup

A friend said she went to another friend's house for a party and his kitchen sink wasn't working. She saw him washing the cups in the toilet tank. She said, "what are you doing?" and he said, "It's clean water!"

R64 oh YUCK!!! This was disgusting!

We fully approve of the high degree of prissiness being displayed on this thread.

It is in line with our motto "Prissiness is next to godliness"

Two years ago, I was cajoled into driving three and a half hours to see my three sisters for Christmas. They’re all unmarried. We hadn’t been together for Christmas since our mom died 15 years earlier. My youngest sister convinced my middle sister to host. She didn’t want to cook, so she asked that it be potluck. I brought a ham and a side and dessert.

As soon as I arrived, the middle sister started complaining that she felt forced into hosting. As others arrived, she continued acting badly and eventually started bickering with the younger sister. She set the food out and disappeared to her room.

Small talk over food was awkward and people started leaving quickly. Suddenly it was 7 pm and everyone was gone. My sister came out and bitched some more about how put upon she felt. Then she said she was going to bed soon. If I wanted to stay the night (which had already been agreed upon) I would need to sleep on the little couch in the den. She said she didn’t want me to sleep on the bigger couch in the living room because she always got up early and liked to watch her shows on that couch. The little couch was far too small for me and killed my back and legs. I got up early the next morning and drove the three and a half hours back home.

The next time I see any of them is going to have to be at a funeral.

God, sorry, R70. That's why I like hotels.

Our hosts let their dog lick the plates (at the table) after every course of dinner while talking excruciatingly precious baby talk to it.

[quote] I said, "What are we going to have?" He said sole (fish). I said that sounds bland.

People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.

I watched my female boss completely eviscerate and emasculate her husband in front of the entire senior management team. She lost it on him because he couldn't BBQ/didn't do a good job ("what kind of man can't BBQ????" she shrieked at one point).

I still cringe at the thought.

I guess I'm the outlier. I've never been to a dinner party with a bad host. Quite the opposite, really. And I've been to a hell of a lot of dinner parties.

I admit that I'm in schadenfreude overload right now, though. Some of these stories are a trip.

My partners "adopted" niece". ( deathbed promise to her mom to be there for her, yuch!).

Christmas dinner. We brought Turkey, sausage rolls, sides, Christmas cake, mince pies, gifts. Her comment on tearing open her gifts, Oh didn't we tell you no gifts.

Then immediately after dinner, table cleared, all extra food whisked into their frig. Dishes done.

She says you don't have to go home but you can't stay here. And this basic bitch is over 50years old & from a prominent family & just inherited millions. Takes all kinds

No R34. She actually did put the dunce cap on briefly. She was livid with her face turning beet red and her mouth twisted into a horrible grimace that she tried to pass off as a good-natured grin. She knew that she'd stepped in her own shit and It was glorious.

I'll grant you a small victory though. I'm pretty sure I later told her she was a terrible hostess rather than a despicable hostess. By that time I had no more fucks to give about that toxic cunt and was entirely happy to demonstrate that to her.

Where's the Sure Jan troll when you need him?

R61, you severed a lifelong friendship over store bought croutons? LOL. Harsh. Do you have any friends left at all?

A couple I know invited a large group over.

ME: "Can I bring anything?"

HIM: "Yes, please bring a large bottle of a good vodka because we will be making a special drink for everyone."

So I arrived with a large bottle of Grey Goose.

Later that night, another friend of ours told me, "You know they didn't use that bottle of Grey Goose you brought. They used something out of a plastic liter bottle. Just like they didn't use the nice bottle of tequila I brought. Apparently, they are using the guests to stock their bar with brands they're too cheap to buy."

I'm with you, R75. While I haven't been to *that* many dinner parties, I don't recall any being awful experiences or having horrible hosts. I think the worst thing that's happened is someone accidentally spilling a dessert on my suit at a party, and said person was very apologetic.

What if you discovered this in your host's home?

R51, the redneck wedding took place in Minnesota. Niece's MIL earned the nickname "Pit Bull" that day, and that's always how she's referred to on our side of the family.

Niece's husband is actually a very nice, quiet guy. Sometimes there are normal kids from crazy families. But I don't know how she manages to put up with his family. One of my sisters married a good guy whose parents were both mentally ill, as was one of his siblings, and they put her through perfect hell at every family gathering until she finally refused to have anything to do with them ever again.

That toilet thing looks like it is made of Cookie Monster fur.

Their pelts are prized...

Drove X-country (Canada, so a long trip) with a friend during university to spend the summer on the west coast. Stopped off in Calgary to drop her off at her sister's house so friend could stay there for a couple of weeks before joining me in BC. Sister and husband had a regular-type condo they'd recently purchased. They insist on inviting me in, insist that we must be tired (we were), come have dinner with us, have a shower, spend the night etc. I gratefully accepted.

Dinner was boxed mac and cheese (which is fine) and older sister and husband spent the entire meal ostentatiously bragging about the condo, how much it cost, the materials used for the countertops, openly and repeatedly dissing me and friend for being non-condo-owning losers etc. It was a bog standard condo. To this day I have no idea why they were so proud of it. By the end of dinner my eyes were falling closed I was so tired from driving. But before we could retire from the table friend's sister piped up in very pompous 'how dare you not do this for us, were you raised by barnyard animals?!' tone that the dishes needed to be done.

Apparently they made dinner so we had to do the dishes. My friend was very submissive with her sister, who I realized during that brief visit was not the mother my friend never had (her own mother was the submissive to her extremely mentally ill narc grandma) but in fact narc grandma's second coming and very, very controlling with my friend. So I'm sort of nonplussed, almost amused at that point by the rudeness, but we go into the kitchen to do the dishes. The sink is fucking PILED with dirty dishes. Older sister comes in and says the dishwasher is broken and the repairman can't make it out until next week. Friend and I spend 2 hours washing dishes. Also drying them because apparently they couldn't sit out on the countertop in case of "damage."

I went straight to bed after the dishes (bed turned out to be the floor but I didn't care I was so tired I was starting to hallucinate), got up at 7am and got the fuck out of there.

Worst part is I never saw my friend again. Older sister realized how close we were, and how close she was to losing control of friend (who was a 22 yr old virgin, very pretty and sweet but with zero self-esteem and thought she was ugly and no man would ever like her), and saw to it that the friendship ended. I never learned what she said to convince my friend but it doesn't really matter. It's 20 years later and losing that friendship still hurts. There was an email just over a month later from my friend, who said she was staying the whole summer with her sister to "help them out" with their new condo and the baby her sister was due to have. I'm 90% certain my friend dropped out of university (a very good one she worked hard to get into) and became a permanent domestic helper to her poisonous narc sister and her awful, spineless husband.

Anyway, making guests do a mountain of dishes they did not create and then forcing your own sister to give up her dreams to be your maid/slave is bad hosting, imo.

R76 Here, update..

Adopted niece just got back from Ultra posh trip to Martinique. Needed to decompress from all the Holiday stress(See my post).

She insisted we get together w. her for lunch at her office. When we walked in she said, Oh, where is the food? 15 minutes of having to be active audience for her trip boasting session & plans for her month vaca to New Zealand flying first class. She then had to mention the facial, she just had to have & was boasting about how great it was. Then offered to treat me to one with phone in hand like she was about to book it. . Thought she was being cutesey insulting offering a gay man a facial. She then changed subject & put down the phone. Before we left the lunch date, with no food, I said let me know when the day is for my facial, she got all flustered saying oh the facialist is so Popular & so busy probably won't be till March. I said fine with me. I sent her an email to think her for the upcoming facial & to let me know the day & time. You can bet your a-- I will be publicly reminding her when it never happens.

Just because I have to be around this count doesn't mean I have to eat her s it!

R86 wins. That is awful. Your poor friend!

R86, you’re a gem.

I would have only washed the max and cheese dishes, given them $50 room and board and said toodles.

Tiny portions.

R86 The sister and their grandma were narcs?

Yes, R91. I even met the grandma, who came to stay with my friend for a week when we shared an apartment. They were from [very traditional Christian country] and my friend had learned English to the point of being a better speaker of the language than most native speakers in less than 2 years. Anyway grandma was a poisonous narc, yes. Constantly yelling at my friend, even made her very macho older brother (who lived in the same building and was the only son and golden boy of the family) cry multiple times. Just a constant scream of psychological sewage right in the face.

Anyway friend always talked about her sister in Calgary and how cool she was and how sweet and nice and how close they were and how sister was like a mother to her. And like i said, sister was actually just grandma part 2. My friend remains one of the smartest people i've ever met. She was genuinely intelligent, genuinely pretty - gorgeous even - funny, talented at so many of the things she tried, gentle with troubled people and animals etc. But I've never known anyone who hated themselves so much. Although she was gorgeous she dressed badly and had no style because she thought she was ugly. She thought she was stupid as well and that it was only a matter of time before she failed her classes and got kicked out of [prestigious university]. Her brother used to make fun of her (in front of me) for being a virgin and she would just cry quietly. She was like the punching bag of the family.

To this day I wish I could have done something but she dropped me cold after that visit to her sister and like i said I am pretty sure she threw her life away to be a domestic help to another narc. It's so fucking sad. I've googled her and literally nothing comes up, no Linkedin, no workplaces or social media etc.

Not exactly a poor host, but this bitchy obnoxious woman I used to work with, always made a point to pack up our department's left over Chinese food, which we always had for our department's Christmas lunch. This loon would bring the leftovers to the nearby church, as if she was bringing them enough food for their homeless soup kitchen program! Lots of eye rolling went on when she did this.

During the Holiday season, our department was super busy at our ad agency, because of that, our boss, the Creative Director, would take us out for Christmas dinner after all our assignments were done. We always had a Christmas lunch in our department, then were taken out for Christmas dinner.

This woman knew certain people would be working overtime and would likely want the leftovers. it was as if she was trying to deprive us of the leftover food. We had a fridge in our department, the food sure wasn't going to spoil.

Like clockwork, every year, without even asking if anyone wanted the food for later in the day, she'd pack up the leftovers, she always had this self-satisfied smirk on her face as she did this. The joke was, she wasn't even religious and had no affiliation with any church. She was just a bitch.

The leftovers weren't much to begin with, the entire idea of bringing them to the church to feed the homeless, was completely absurd.

One guy, who had enough, told her off. "What the fuck are you doing year after year with this ridiculous display? The nuns cannot serve those scraps to the homeless, they are probably dumping them in the garbage right after you drop them off!"

R93 she didnt take that shit to a church,she took them home .Good for your co worker. People do shit like that because very few will call them out on their shit.

[quote][R93] she didnt take that shit to a church,she took them home .Good for your co worker. People do shit like that because very few will call them out on their shit.

No, she took the left over food to the church, one of the people from the department went with her once. After she took the leftovers to the church, she always came back to work. That loon didn't take the food to the church after the workday was over. Then again, in an ad agency, the workday sure doesn't end at 5PM.

People didn't call her out because none of us paid for the Christmas lunch, our boss did and he likely paid for it via petty cash. I'm so glad to be out of that place.