Remember going to the Abortion Hut at the mall?

I had a member punch card where after 10 you get one free.

My coupon was for 1/2 off.

We never had a Hut nearby. Our closest franchise was Abortion Barn (at the mall off the interstate), where you always get more for less!

Remember the promotion where you could get one in a series of Encyclopedia Britannica with each abortion? I never did get w through z. Luckily I never had any kids who needed them.

Coco, I've had more children pulled out of me than a burning orphanage!

Sigh. I remember my cousin went bust investing in one of those Abort-O-Matic combination launderettes and abortion clinics that were in so in vogue in the mid-90s for a bit. Full service! They also featured a coffee bar, but couldn't compete with Starbucks.

Sheila the nurse was always on duty during the busy weekends. Shelia is a whore’s name.

My friend Laura worked there one summer and when her manager went to the food court for one of her three-hour lunches, Laura would sneak me in for free abortions.

In return, I’d give her the cosmetics that we were supposed to put out as testers. I told my boss that I saw rich ladies stealing them, which he totally believed.

They had a way of making abortions 'Fun"

I used to knit ironically in the waiting room.

I got mine in the back room of Spencer's Gifts.

The floor was always so sticky

I popped into an Abortion Hut to get my procedure done while waiting for Jurassic Park to start at the mall fiveplex just a few stores away.

All those little Mom and Pop Abortion Huts go out of business when the big box abortion mills move in.

Women would pay me to knock them up just so they could enjoy the experience of having a late-term abortion.

Some of those fetuses were old enough to ask, "Why, Mommy?" before being dropped into the medical waste can to die.

And the gals would say, "It feels soooo good." Like a sexy vacation.

I used to treat myself to an Orange Julius next door right after my suck n chuck.

That is until I noticed the big accordion tube that led from the Abortion Hut’s southeast wall to the Julius machine.

The only proper response to a pregnancy announcement:

It was so convenient, I could hit the GAP and the food court after getting the scrape!

God! Such a flashback! My parents always made my big sister take me with when she went to he abort-o-mat across town. I'd sneak out and go to the wig store next door. The lovely colored lady (I'm sorry if I offend - it was the south and that's what we called them in polite society back then) - was bored I guess and let me try them on. She also introduced me to Diana Ross and the rest is history.

I can't hear a Wilson Philips song without getting a little nostalgic for that summer I clerked at the Abortion Hut. Now that was a mixtape!

Our mall had a Wilson’s Leather Store next door. I get all broody every time I slide into a pair of chaps.

The Abortion Hut I used to go was in an outdoor mall and had a strip club on one side, a sex shop on the other, and an underground parking lot for all three. Such a smart business plan: they had a lot of repeat customers.

OMG These are hilarious!!

I've got a meetin' in the Ladies Room, I'll be back real soon.

L.A. in the 70s had all those drive-through Abort-A-Belles, remember? With the neon pink and blue logo.

Because of Covid, my Abortion Hut is now drive-thru only. They do give you a free plastic sheet to cover your car seat.

We had the Abortion Casino. Free gambling chips with your abortion. Double chips for your first abortion! Same if you bring a friend!

What I really miss is getting an a abortion “On Demand”. I would just walk into the Abortion Hut and announce: “I DEMAND an abortion, RIGHT NOW!!!” and the little workers would immediately begin scampering around to meet my every need.

*Sigh* THOSE were the days . . .

Our Abortion Hut shared its dumpster with the Kentucky Fried Chicken. Really fucked up some hungry hobos permanently.

Don’t kid yourselves, ladies! It wasn’t all “fun and games” back then:

My nasty friend, Shelly, was fucking the colored boy who used to work at the video arcade right next to the Abortion Hut. He used to sneak her in after hours and he would vacuum her out. Then they’d play Centipede in the arcade.

First they came for Abortion Hut, and I said nothing. Then they came for the Orange Julius stand...

So convenient having it in the mall.

I went to a double feature of Terminator and Terminator 2: Judgement Day. There was about a 15 minute break between the end of Terminator before the next movie started. I thought to myself, "I've been meaning to get an abortion." So, I just walked across the hall, got the slice and dice special and got back to the theater in time for Terminator 2 to start. The ice in my drink hadn't even had time to melt!

The one in our local upscale mall had the huge wide windows flanking the opening, so passers-by could see customers splayed out on the tables having the procedure performed on them. You always looked so absurd and vulnerable during the process, and I used to worry that a classmate or a crush would walk by and see me with the dorky gown and the surgical cap they’d make you put on. At the same time, though, it was the kind of establishment you liked to be seen walking into, as the procedures were kind of pricey for a high-schooler and frequenting one implied that your family had $$$ to throw around. (For me, though, it was a only a twice-a-year treat, courtesy of birthday or XMas dosh.)

[quote]I had a member punch card where after 10 you get one free.

One free punch in the tumsy? That would do it.

We had a very fancy one in my hometown: Ooh-La-La Paree Maison des Abortions. After a D&C they flushed you out with André Cold Duck. Now THAT'S class!

Our regional equivalent was Abortomat, and the gals that worked there were called "Abortomates." It was between Chess King and Hot Dog on a Stick.

My friend's older sister went there once and then had Dippin' Dots.

I loved those promotions like free sunglasses they gave in your way out.

My local franchise sponsored the high school prom, knowing half the attendees (the female half) would be clients over the summer.

Bring me... A KNITTING NEEDLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - Pats

You knew the Abortion Hut was going downhill when it offered a Groupon for dinner, a movie and an abortion at the mall.

I was a regular at Abortion Hut.

I've still got the free t-shirt they gave away with each procedure. 've got t-shirts in a rainbow of colors -- a pink one and a blue one, of course. But they also had t-shirts in red, green, yellow, purple, orange, black and white.

No matter the color, they all had the Abortion Hut logo and accompanying slogan, "Undo it at the Hut."

They quit making those t-shirts two decades ago, for some bizarre reason Now they sell for a few hundred dollars on Ebay.

[quote]It was between Chess King and Hot Dog on a Stick

Oh. My. Gawd!

I used to WORK at Hotdog on a Stick!

I was one of the lemonade girls - you know, the ones that have to use that giant plunger to churn the lemon slurry?!

Anyway, the Abortion Hut used to give us HoaS girls a 10% discount there, and on my second, no, maybe my third time getting rid of my oopsie, the office manager offered me a job.

I was still kinda groggy, so I says yes.

So I show up on my first day, and they lead me to one of the back rooms. It had a giant vat that was covered (thank god) and it had one of them big accordion tubes going from the vat to a hole in one of the walls.

Get this—

My job was to stand on a little platform next to the giant vat but above this big oil drum and use a big ol’ plunger - the VERY SAME KIND we used for lemonade at ‘The Stick’!

Marsha - she’s the office manager at the Abortion Hut - she says they hired me on account of my big shoulders.

Thing is, we don’t have to wear those lame boner hats! But it did kinda throw my balance off when I churned.

Lucky for me I got turned down from Orange Julius and got a job at ‘The Stick’ instead, right?!

“Papa Don’t Preach” was on the June 1986 Abortion Hut playlist

I remember Abortion Hut at the mall near me. It was between Orange Julius and Sam Goodys.

Or as I used to call it, going to the mall to sit on Santa's lap.

The music was so great. Once an hour the staff would stand on their chairs and sing along to "Believe" by Cher.

We used to get coupons for them if we got honor role.

We didn’t have an Abortion Hut. We had the abortion claw machine in the arcade though. Kids would line up with quarters and use the joystick to maneuver the scoop and suction above you while you were heels up in the stirrups. And you got tickets for things from the arcade gift shop. Little whistles and tiny, tiny coat hangers.

Those whistles were the bomb!

They were little rape whistles.

Abortion Hut? Please. Everyone (in California anyway) knows that the ONLY place for abortions is Out & Out. If you ask for “animal style,” they’ll fry up the placenta while-u-wait.

My cousin Diane was the Abortion Hut Nurse Nell in the popular ads. She had a theater degree from Sarah Lawrence, and it was her first national campaign. People still stop her in the streets to ask her to sing "ABOBO!"

My sister got her ears pierced, photos developed, and twins terminated, all at the same time, at the Things Remembered Abortomat.

[quote] They were little rape whistles.

Yeah, except I had been blowing mine all weekend, but nobody showed up.

I always preferred Abortions Я Us.

Remember the commercial Joan Crawford did for them, NO WIRE HANGERS.

I loved the Dum-Dum suckers they gave away there. I'd mostly get grape, but sometimes cherry.

The Drive Thru was tacky.

Didn't Abortions Я Us get bought out by that big box abortion center, Abortion Depot?

No, r60, you’re thinking of Abortion City. You know, the chain whose ads featured a big red ABORT button. I bought a bunch of those as gag gifts for a baby shower!

Such good times! Dayton's in downtown Minneapolis, the one where Mary Tyler Moore throws her cap in the air, well such posh abortiata services were rarely seen in the midwest in the 60's and 70's. They had a 'fast service' lane in the basement, right between the hair salon and the deli-- talk about synergy! Feeling a bit more up market, well there's was the Oak Room on the eighth floor. Yes, hushed and paneled with a full linen service, cocktails of course, and the pièce de résistance; Myron Anderson on that big Steinway! Such wistful and lilting tones.

I think it was my third or forth abortiata and I splurged on the Oak Room. Getting the little problem whisked away while sipping a dry martini, a half & half lunch special. (Caesar salad half bottle of white wine) and then just sliding home like I was floating on a cloud- Made me want to do it all again.

I always went to Cinna-No-Bun In The Oven, purely for the delicious smells that wafted out of there.

Don’t forget Auntie Anne’s baked umbilical cords. With mustard!

I always loved the ‘You rape ‘em, we scrape ‘em’ poster on the wall in the waiting room.

There was one at Manassas Mall, and what was neat was the video feed from the theater. My mother said she watched most of “Tender Mercies” while my little sister or brother got scraped out. I waited in the playroom and after she took me to Farrells for a pink ice cream treat with a cherry on top!

If I remember correctly, the one at Tysons was next to Hot Shoppes and the lines would run together at lunch time.

They still have Abortion Huts in a lot of Tanger outlet malls.

Anyone have an America’s Best Eyeglasses, Contacts and Abortions in their mall? I like them because for $249, you get the America’s Best Plan with three years of abortions and can get one every 6 months.

Oh yes, I remember that one era when everyone in America just loved having abortions and couldn't get enough of them.

But none of it matched the money-making craze of Brainwash Huts at churches. Remember them?

The Abortion Hut at the Mall of American had a deal with the plastic surgeon office beside it.

They often ran a special where you could get a tummy tuck and a scape & suck at the same time. You ended up coming out POUNDS thinner in just an hours time.

Big deal r70!

At Chez Abortion in at the Sherman Oaks Galleria, it was a combination plastic surgeon office and abortion clinic. They routinely did liposuction after sucking the fetus out, all for one low, low price.

My mom worked at the Abortion Hut here in Darvon, Ohio. me and my sis used to sit there and play with the little "squirmers" from the bucket.

OP, this thread is likely one of my top 10 favorites.

The one near us used to have those obligatory photos with a photographer so you could buy a pic on your way out.

You could choose your background - SOMEBODY'S GETTING EVICTED! or DONT CALL ME MAMA!

I recall there was a discount if you showed your high school ID.

I wondered why Abortion Hut was always in the same wing as Babys R US and Matern A Tee in nearly every mall. I know there was something sinister in the store placement, but never could figure out what the angle was.

I always wanted to go to the Abortion Hut but it was really expensive. My mom made us get our abortions at home and they looked like homemade abortions. All the kids at school made fun of my sister and I because we wore really thick glasses, Tuffy jeans and got homemade abortions.

I always wanted to go to the Brainwash Hut at church, but it was really expensive. My mom was one of those inbred, "home-school" types that comprise the base of the Republican Party and go on to let any corrupt authority deceive, scam and control them as long as they're white and promise the fairy tale of everlasting life and justice.

All the kids at home school made fun of my sister and I because we frothed at the mouth when our right-wing parents electrocuted our heads through metal helmets with forceps forcing our eyes open in front of the Bible every time we misinterpreted the scriptures. Tuffy Jeans and we got homemade educations.

They tried to open up a few in France, but failed. We French prefer cozy little independent abortion joints to large chain ones. My German friend went to one and tried to buy a hat; I had to tell him that it was HUT not HAT.

[quote]At Chez Abortion in at the Sherman Oaks Galleria, it was a combination plastic surgeon office and abortion clinic. They routinely did liposuction after sucking the fetus out, all for one low, low price.

Chez Abortion charged a lot more if you just wanted liposuction without the abortion. Like triple the price of the Double Suck as we affectionately called it.

So, whenever I was putting on a few extra pounds and wanted to liposuction it away, I would get pregnant so I could get the Double Suck and save money.

People this is a troll. I can't believe you are playing along. F&F.

R80 Because it is funny. What, do you think we don’t know that there isn’t a place called The Abortion Hut? Grow up and get off of DL, no one likes a hall monitor.

R80 lost her punch card and had to pay for #10 out of pocket. Poor thing.

Dear Lord in Heaven!

Our Oklahoma town didn't have no abortion hut, but the gals rode the buckin' bronco at some big waterin' hole instead.

The girls under 21 just sat in the bouncy airplane in front of the K-Mart. A couple of quarters did the trick.

My mom started taking my sisters there when they were about seven. They'd give them a "lining smoothie" to get them comfortable for when they'd be using the Hut for services a little later. Mina had her first A treatment at 12 and she was completely relaxed. And it was triplets!

R80, “Stupid Girl” was on the Abortion Hut February 1996 playlist

Please, I wouldn’t be caught dead at The Abortion Hut. Any girl with class went to La Vide Chambre at the fancy mall.

My first trip to Abortion Hut was, well, an abortion! As they were sucking away, they informed me I had twins!! While hoovering my loamy uterus, they said it would be double the price and asked me if I wanted to pay or leave the second critter in there! I thought about it for a bit and then dramatically handed over my Famous Amos Cookies punch card and they accepted it, thank God. All cleaned out! I went to Tanner’s keg party that night cuz his parents were out of town and drank my face off. Ended up back at the “hut”, as we called it, a month later.

Was that the unmarked side door of Pizza Hut?

Remember the blacklight lava lamps with the little floaty baby parts at Spencer Gifts?

My brother Aaron, sisters Anna and Abigail and I would always dash back to see if they had any with our names on them, but I never ever found mine - Aloysius. 😔

You posh skank, everyone knows it’s named Le Chambre Vide. You must have had your brain sucked out along with your prom night mistake.

I had my 14th birthday party at the mall food court and afterwards we went to Build-A-Bortion.

When you can’t remember

If your last period was September

Or May? No matter, slut!

We’ll fix you at The Hut.

r81 is the only one playing along through his alternate sock puppet accounts.

F&F

I remember my mom taking me there when I was 7 and arguing over the fine print saying that 'late-term' wasn't defined in the small print on her coupon and that they had to take me.

So I spent years 7 to 16 living in the back of the Abort-a-Hut in Paramus Mall. It wasn't so bad. Mom came back on my 16th birthday and got me - she said it was just a joke and she still loved me.

We went home and laughed and laughed and laughed.

They tried to open up a few Brainwash Huts in France, but after several hundred years of the Church lying and gaslighting the French, promising false cures for the Plague and preaching that Jesus requires all of them to be permanent peasants, the French finally rose up and chopped off the heads of the corrupt Catholic clergy and their precious King.

I called it the Double Chop. It saved 98 percent of the population half of their income.

Abortion Hut was the cheap discount place located in low-rent malls. The fancy folks all went to the Abortion Consortion, located just a short walk from a Bergdorf's or Saks.

"Stupid Girl" was in the hymn books of all the trendiest Brainwash Huts where people used to throw their money and loyalty at any witch doctor who promised them resurrection and redefined non-breathing, non-feeling fetus cells as life on the authority of an invisible wizard in the sky that nobody ever saw!

Abortions in 30 minutes or less, my ass. We missed the first 15 minutes of “Shanghai Surprise”

In our mall, there was a Farrell's a few stores down from the Abortion Hut. Farrell's had a special Vacuum Volcano, a lava flow of strawberry topping over 30 scoops of vanilla ice cream, that four waiters would deliver to your table on a stretcher, just for the gals who could produce a receipt from the Hut.

Milo Snuffleupagas opened a Brainwash Hut in Florida with a "2-for-One No Homo" coupon to reprogram the brains of children starting to show signs of the gay.

He especially liked it when he got two brothers under the age of 10 to work over. For just $20, Florida white trash could leave their kids in Milo's hands for a year!

Milo liked punishing little boys' private parts during the electroshock sessions. The boys would scream and wail when fingers and other blunt objects prolapsed their intestines on to the floor But Milo would just say, "Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to cum on to me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."

Little boys often questioned when their own brothers along with Milo were inserted up their nether regions, creating three males in one. But Milo would just call it a "Trinity,"

They asked me to model for their 1988 calendar. I was Miss July!

Wait, weren't you dethroned like Miss Vanessa Williams, due to your position as a spokesperson for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints?

^ go fuck yourself, Tiffani! Jealous much?

This was when I still thought I was straight, so while my girlfriend would do her business at the Abortion Hut, I'd hit up the men's room near the hair salon inside Penney's. Worked out for both of us.

I had an crummy experience with my “snipper” at Abortion Hut. She was on her phone the whole time FUCK YOU, TAMMY.

Our mall's "clinic" was a little dumpy with sad musac playing. They gave you a nicely printed "diploma" with each procedure-your first was called "The Freshman" then "The Sophomore" ect. If you needed more than one per year, they gave you "tuition bucks" you could use toward your next full "diploma".

If you worked at the Abortion Hut and saved any playlists, would you please share them with me? Any help would be greatly appreciated!

I remember their ad on TV. The oh so sad cast out girl who had no life and can't be part of the click. Then Abortion Hut then Ha Ha Ha and a great new outfit and she's now the Queen Bee of her friends and the hottest guy in science has a crush on her! You know that was a young Mackenzie Phillips in that commercial?

In Germany they were called Das Freachmächer!

My mom and older sister used to make a day of it but I loved it when they let me tag along. Afterwards we’d get fancy crepes at The Magic Pan and my mom would let me go to the Disney Store. I still have a Jafar action figure from my mom’s last abortion at the Hut. Good times.

Yeah R84 We grew up in the country and the nearest Abort-o-rama was all the way in Tulsa. Mama used to tell us to get behind Bessie, our old milk cow, then quickly stick your arm up her cooter. Bessie didn't like this, well mostly didn't like the surprise part, and would kick backwards. Guaranteed to pop that little tadpole clean off the pond as mama used to say. My little sister Marylou didn't take the whole thing seriously, was laughing and joking so when Bessie kicked back it ruptured a kidney rather than popping the tadpole. Papa was So mad as he had to drive her to Tulsa and spend the $149 for a oopsie late abortion rather than the $ 89 special if it was less than six months. Marylou got no new school clothes for two years as punishment.

I miss the old Montgomery Fetus Ward. Mom used to let me pick out a cute outfit every time she went in for her abortions, she said I was special because she didn't get me scraped out like all my other siblings.

My local Abortion Hut is running a special with the local Sir Speedy car wash, free interior vacuum with every full service abortion.

The Abortion Hut was too expensive with their fancy storefront and their private rooms where they did the procedure.

You could save a bundle by getting it done at the abortion kiosk in the middle of the mall. Sure, everyone walking by could see you getting dilated, scraped, and flushed, but the SAVINGS! Oh, the SAVINGS!

We used to have a huge Abortion’s-and-things here in town, I sure miss that place. They always sent me a special birthday coupon in the mail for a free abortion and a stainless steel colander.

Our Abortion Hut became a Macy’s and they ruined it just like they ruined Marshall Field’s.

Abortion Hut used to be good but now it sucks.

Cherry pie always make me think of the Abortion Hut, and not in a good way.

Whatever you do, DON’T go to Hut’s Rack!

The medical instruments are all knock-offs and one of the stirrups is always missing.

Wow r116, our Abortion Hut (the mean girls in my junior year always called it "Abortion Slut", our AH gave free kitchen gadgets too. Turke basters, of coarse, but sometimes it was a stainless melonnballer or stainless shishkebob skewers. I still have a drawer full of them!

My grandmother would snort when we'd all come back from our spa afternoons at the Hut.

"We had elegant purveyors in Paris. I loved Les castagnettes de la pute. A fine lunch while they did what they did under the tablecloth. So civilized."

We'd laugh and say, Yeah, Grand-Mère, sure. But did they have a raffle for a free insemination before the next trip?"

Nope. But I have fond memories of working at Fetus On A Stick.

Our local place kept Abortion Hut at bay by giving you the results in a special Presentation Mason Jar to be oohed and aahed over by you r friends. Abortion Hut was still flushing it all down the toilet. They finally wised up and started giving you your child in cut glass Waterford containers. Quite the scandal when those containers turned out to be pressed glass from Walgreens.

And those Walgreen containers were actually whiskey decanters sold at four for five dollars.

I can't remember if it was just a local chain, or if it was all over. It was called the Poop 'N Scoop, you got a high colonic at the same time as your abortion. Of course it went out of business when they had that unfortunate incident of reversing the two procedures. But up until then, I thought it was a great idea. You would leave pounds lighter in under an hour.

I loved those Nurse Nell commercials! Her Abobo Annie "I'm Just a Girl Who Can't Say No" was my all time favorite version of that classic.

Our Hut gave out complementary eye cream in a little peanut shaped container. Supposedly it got rid of fine lines and dark circles. They claimed it was made out of old fetal cells! I used it on pimples and one time for lube!

R126 They still have them in Thailand! The may may have just stolen the name and concept but when I was in Ko Chang and miserable with an oopsie they were a lifesaver. And you're right a really high colonic and you are ready for a bikini, a margarita, and the beach.

Abortion Hut was just for kids. Like the Merry Go Round and Spencer’s. We used to go to the clinic in JC Penney back by the salon. It was drab and they only offered one style of bortion, but when you have a big family and were in as often as we were, you came to appreciate it.

Anyone remember the combination Abortion Hut and Taco Bell? It’s because they are all owned by Pepsi.

My Abortion Hut in New England was near Sears (the anchor store) entrance, and directly next to Friendly's. I loved this - because it could be a win-win either way I could eat my feelings after they scrambled my unborns brains and I queefed out the rest - and then I could eat my feelings away at Friendly's And it my twat wasn't too sore I could fuck some rough trade from the Sears tire shop behind the dumpster.

Jesus, r132. You’re why we had Abortion Huts in the first place!

When it was your birthday, the team would sing and clap their speculums like castanets.

Happy Birthday - not you!

Happy Birthday - not you!

Happy Birthday - no, fetus

There’s no birthday for you.

The mall experience today is not what it used to be in the 80’s and 90’s when you actually looked forward to getting knocked up so you could go the mall and get a abortion like the other girls.

This was the place to be seen proudly shuffling around to avoid dislodging the giant maxi pad between your legs.

I remember fondly that knowing look people gave you as you passed bye with a smile on your face and a twinkle in your eyes.

[quote] Don’t forget Auntie Anne’s baked umbilical cords. With mustard!

Bitch, what the hell is the matter with you?! Are you crazy?

Everyone—and I mean EVERYONE—knew it was cheese or nothing!

SMDH.

[quote] As they were sucking away, they informed me I had twins!! While hoovering my loamy uterus, they said it would be double the price

You fell for that old trick?

Ooooooh, girl.

I worked at the Woodfield Mall Abortion Hut as the No Wire Hanger Coat Check Boy. I kept track of the shoes and coats while you were done, with style.

I found the Year End 1987 Abortion Hut Playlist, believe me, by the end of the month, you never wanted to hear the songs again:

I Think We're Alone Now (Tiffany) *Also, an Abortion Hut Woodfield Client! Shhhhhh!)

Never Gonna Give You Up (Rick Astley)

With Or Without You (U2)

Didn't We Almost Have It All (Whitney)

(I've Had) The Time of My Life (Jennifer Warnes)

Blue Monday (New Order)

Love Removal Machine (The Cult)

The One I Love (REM)

Victim Of Love (Erasure)

Never Let Me Down Again (Depeche Mode)

Alone (Heart)

Here I Go Again (Whitesnake)

Notorious (Duran Duran)

I Just Died In Your Arms (Cutting Crew)

Change Of Heart (Cyndi Lauper)

Point of No Return (Expose)

^r139. I was a customer there also. One more song: that Sheena Easton song that goes “strut pout put it out” or whatever. Xoxo

Puttin’ it out is what got us to the Arbotion Hut to begin with!

Yeah, I always liked to stop by Spencer's Gift after

and get some wall posters with the money I'd have spent on the little bastard's college fund

139

You Spin Me was on a lot whenever I went.

R143, that was on the Summer '85 list, along with Sheila E's Strut. It took awhile, because Prince didn't want the song associated with abortion, but Sheila was all for it. She did that Sugar Walls duet with Sheena Easton for the Abort-Aid concert in '86.

Oh, the Abort-Aid concert! I'd completely forgotten about it! What a show.

What a remember most about it was Don Johnson and Joan Baez doing the nasty right there on stage to demonstrate how babies are made. Demographics for the show were trending young, so producers made a spur of the moment decision to turn it educational for a moment and have the demonstration. I believe Joan and Don even got nominated for an Emmy for public service programming for that segment.

The thing a lot of people didn't realize is that Joan Baez and Don Johnson were selected for this Abort-Aid segment as a follow up to their much talked appearance at Live Aid in July 1985. Many will recall Joan's come on to the super suave and ultra handsome Don on stage at Live Aid. She inquired of him, "Could we discuss the possibility of rape?"

In Richmond, they used to let ladies take home their aborted squirmers in semi-clean Duke’s mayonnaise jars.

My momma left her jar on the kitchen windowsill. She’d sing You and Me Against the World to it when my siblings and I would act up.

Your momma left it on the windowsill? She made it a Lil’ Sizzler.

[R43], I have tears streaming down my face and I sound like I'm uncontrollably sobbing, reading your post. I hope you do something with your turns of phrase and dizzying levels of absurdity. It's got to be one of the best posts I've read on DL in the five years I've been slumming it here (including the year I took off after getting flamed by the 'would it have hurt you to do a search, OP?' troll, not knowing it was a piss take).

MARY!

Which happens to the name of my first oopsie.

I forgot they let you name them with a certificate that looked a lot like the Cabbage Patch Kid adoption one.

Remember when that mass shooter tried to hit an Abortion Hut in Wichita? They just kept shouting “REDUNDANT! REDUNDANT!” and he just walked away and shot up the BabyGap instead.

That was sad, R151. He said "I don't like Mondays, either."

Their customer service was awesome. And then fucking Blackstone, or was it KKR (?), came in and bought them and consolidated operations. They went to shot after that but Blackstone ended up selling them to Mrs Field’s Cookies for like a 200% IRR.

[quote] They went to shot after that

Well I’ll be damned. I didn’t know they could just do that with a shot. Is it possible that “doctor” wasn’t really a doctor after all and just wanted to see my hoochie?

When did stop making them available as a reward in the S&H Green Stamp Ideabook?

All this talk about babies in mason jars is stirrin’ up memories of Momma!

[quote] When did stop making them available as a reward in the S&H Green Stamp Ideabook?

1976.

R156 oh G.W. you just stop it right now, not everyone can be as resourceful as your mother which is why we had abortion hut in the first place.

R157 Yeah, my mom wasn't paying attention and let the Green Stamps book expire. I got a baby sister out of the deal and my mom got a divorce.

Abortion Hut in my mall was a bit off. Rather than redeem S&H Green Stamps, they gave the green stamps out after each visit. 1,000 green stamps for each abortion.

They only did it for about a year before someone in corporate noticed they were giving out Green Stamps rather than redeeming them. But during that year, our Abortion Hut was one of the Top Five busiest in the country.

Some women were getting pregnant on a monthly basis just so they could get the S&H Green Stamps! We got a new color TV thanks to mom's monthly abortions!

As word got out, some women were driving 500 miles to come to our Abortion Hut for green stamps, riding right by at least a dozen malls that had Abortion Hut locations to get to ours! The power of green stamps!

[quote]They went to shot after that

They had to, the pro-lifers went for a Second Amendment solution.

I remember those! They are all LuluLemon stores now...

My MUCH older cousin's friend who was a stylist to the entire Bobby Vincent Fan Club - Cicero Chapter said he saw Blythe Danner pounding on the doors of the local Abortion Hut, screaming, "LET ME IN!!!!"

She had tears running down her flawless face, but she still signed a few sonograms of her unborn FAS baby.

[quote] We got a new color TV

Ooooooh. You fancy.

I wasn't just any old color TV, r164. It was a Magnavox console TV in a nice oak cabinet that also had a record player and an 8-track tape player, plus an AM/FM radio! It was top of the line! It was a full entertainment center, before people even started calling them "entertainment centers."

All thanks to those S&H Green Stamps from Abortion Hut. And of course mom and dad's active sex life.

However, mom and dad were such prudes, they never told their friends they got it via S&H green stamps from mom's monthly abortions. They said they won it at the Baptist Church auction.

We summered in Germany most years when I was growing up, and my mom, my sister, and I always looked forward to getting abortions at the Gabortion Geschaft. The original Geschaft was opened in Hungary in the early 80's by Zsa Zsa, Eva, and Magda Gabor, and by the mid-80s, they were spread all around western and central Europe. The atmosphere created by the accents and fur coats of the Gabortionists compared to the Valley Girl and polyester of mall abortionaters on the west coast made us feel so sophisticated when getting our summer scrape and tickle.

I heard that Gabortion Geschaft helped pay to convince East Germany to take down the Berlin Wall. Any truth to that, R166?

As a young gayling I would always get up and dance to those Abortion Hut commercials of Kathy Lee Gifford in stir ups singing “If My Friends Could See Me Now”.

If They could see me now That little gang of mine I’m having my fetus hosed out from inside All my friends would say Hey look at her mirth It’s 10 times more fun than giving birth

R168. Just in time for the long forgotten DL Friday Night Jams we used to do here!

R168 🤣🤣🤣

I remember seeing their "Before the Beach, Ditch The Leech!" billboards when we would hit Amity Island for the summer!

I remember driving my much older cousin home from AH quite a few times. She'd be loaded up on something she called twilight and I'd be stuck with her because only my car had vinyl seats.

All that suction never reduced her fat ass or sausage legs.

She may have turned into a Randian Trumpeter, but she still humps sturdy columns whenever Steve Miller music plays.

I loved their "I'm the only spoiled baby and i love to be pampered!" campaign. Really made us girls with "needs" feel deserving!

Gabortion Geschaft was started by three brothers named Albrecht and stood for Albrecht Discount (Aldi) and Abortions. In the 50s it split into Gabortion Geschaft and Aldi and then further into Aldi and Trader Joe’s. You can still see it in the product line at TJ’s like Joe’s Summer Scrapers.

I do t known where the rumor it was started by the Gabor sisters comes from.

Remember when the Hut partnered with McDonalds? I use to beg Mama to take me for a Squirmies Happy Meal as I wanted to get my little grubby hands on a nine-monther. I brought it to class for show and tell and all the kids were so jealous. Sadly, my dog Smedley got his grubby paws on my 'Niner, he tore it to shreds within minutes. Boy, did Smedley love that little Squirmie, so I can't be too mad at him.

Our local mall was so big it had two Abortion Huts, one each at opposite ends of the mall. That really impressed 13 year old me.

Ok this is a sick thread!!!! Shut this down now!!!!!!

Oh! Are you mad your mom didn't abort you?

Uh oh, it is Scarlett A, Nurse Nell's arch nemesis @r177! Scarlett's song "Clutch the Pearls, Clutch the Undercarriage!" from the 1988 campaign still runs through my head when I see what the kids are doing on TikTok.

R177 Frau alert! Frau alert!

R177, “The Party’s Over” by Journey was on the Abortion Hut playlist in September 1981.

No Frau here dear.. I mean even I can see when a thread like this has run it’s course. Lol 😂 Its old now.

^ “it’s course”.

Oh Dear.

Our fancier malls in Akron purged Abortion Huts after the Mohawk Deb gang wars of 1984. The speculum wounds made the nightly news.

They let me take my fetus home in a jar. I grew sea monkeys in the jar with the fetus. They looked like spermies.

Thank you, Goody Threadkill.

Yeah, Mom would usually take us by The Original House of Pies® as a treat after a trip to the Abortion Hut®

But if it was a really bad scraping, she'd drive us in her big Oldsmobile to Steak and Ale® or to York Steak House®

"My girls have got to be 'virgins' if we want you to make a good marriage," she say with a laugh as she enjoyed her cocktail

I remember once I saw my Social Studies teacher there with our P.E. coach.

Yeah, they were married, but not to each other.

R182, your use of emojis reveals you as a frau.

We were too big for the tables at Abortion Hut so we had to go to the strip mall Abortion Barn for plus sized girls.

After I saw Sweeney Todd, I never again ate at a Taco Bell next door to an Abortion Hut.

What's going to happen to the Abortion Hut franchise now? Expansion to Mexico? Going out of US business sale?

It’s going to be like k-mart with only 3 branches open in select states for now.

I have a gift card for the Abortion Hut. I’m not pregnant right now. Should I get knocked so I can use it before it shuts down? Does anyone want to buy it from me?

La Choza del Aborto is already up and running in Tijuana (next to the Farmacia) and at Cancun International Airport. Bring your Señor Frog commemoration glass and get a free margarita with every termination.

They should open drive thru Abortion Huts at the big rest stops along the interstate. Stop at Dunkin, pull up to the next window for your abortion.

I love you OP. Too funny.

I remember when one of the sluttiest sororities at my school did a Flush Week instead of a Rush Week. Some of the frats decorated the front porch with hangers instead of toilet paper. Ah those golden years!

My town saw its Abortion Hut close after a competitor with an Italian eatery opened: The Ovary Garden. You never so many women get pregnant so fast. Two, three abortions a week for some of them. I worked as a waiter and scraper at The Ovary Garden and once asked a customer, "Why do you like it here so much?" And she told me,"I can never get enough soup, salad, and abortions. Oh--and I love those little mints you give us at the end."

Brick and mortar abortion shops are passé. My sister retrofitted a taco truck and does drape-and-scrapes at county fairs.

In my town it was nothing but a Quonset Hut.

I’m concerned about the ramifications of overturning RvW because I will no longer have the convenience and safety of my local Abortion Hut so I will be forced to visit an actual straw tiki hut somewhere in the Caribbean to get my scrape, I hope they serve piña colada’s.

Our Abortion Hut is now a Spirit Halloween. You can still get an abortion there inside the cardboard saloon display. The downside is you can also get raped there so it’s an endless cycle.

I prefer Abortionos to Abortion Hut. 30 minutes from placing your order to abortion performed. Some say their menu is too varied and they're losing focus--anal bleaching? Really?--but their classic abortion still hits the spot when you crave that fetus-free feeling.

I was drugged and raped in the alley behind an Abortion Hut. When I came to, I thought “how convenient.”

[quote]Sheila E's Strut

Sheena recorded Strut, not Sheila E. I heard they both shared a 2 for 1 Groupon after Prince knocked them both up during that threesome.

No, but I remember shopping at JC Penis.

I never went to one myself but I used to love the Abortion Hut's commercials when Debbie Gibson was their spokesperson. The "Scrape Your Love" commercial was especially good.

Ok enough, this is getting tired.

I hope they don’t close before I get to use my ten punch card the next ones free option!

They used to have a kiosk next to Space Mountain, definitely worth an E-ticket!

Kids have it so easy these days, what with Fast Pass & whatnot.

Our family was too poor for Abortion Hut. We had to go to Abortion Alley instead. It was in a rough part of town and they didn't offer customer loyalty perks, but kids got a free souvenir wire hanger at every visit.

My Favorite chain was "The Horseback Riding Incident"

Enough already. This is is getting tired.

R214 Take this thread to the Abortion Hut. They can help.

R209 / R214...please lay off the abortions for a bit. I think you may have lost an essential amount of blood if you can’t find your way out of a thread.

The Abortion Hut is getting ready to close down, just like all the malls. Too bad they cant offer free shipping!

Amber Heard’s first job in high school was an Abortion Ambassador (a greeter at the door, with an understanding smile)

Ooh, someone is trying to CANCEL this thread.

We had one in our mall called The Piercing Pagoda.

The only thing that saved the Hut in our town was setting up a combo "Brats & 'Bort'" Food Truck and Services. We take it out to all the county fairs, Food Truck Fridays, street fairs, and what not and usually fill the grease tank and bort tank both.

You'd be surprised what goes on with them Mennonites and Iowa Dutch.

I remember the jingle in the 80s. “Abortion Hut, abortions to go!”

Now I can get one at the Abortion Hut in CANCUN!!

R223, just drink a glass of Mexican tap water. That’ll flush EVERYTHING out

Has anyone else signed up for flush notifications via the Abortion Hut app?

[quote]I remember the jingle in the 80s. “Abortion Hut, abortions to go!”

I remember a special one that went:

Abortion for me, abortion for you, on Tuesdays in June, pay for one and get two

Anyone hitting the Roe V Wade going out of business sale this week, before the Abortion Hut officially becomes Cabaña de Aborto across the southern border, or the Hutte d'Avortement across the northern?

With New York Governor Kathy Hochul guaranteeing abortion services, a news report said the state will soon be known for "Abortion Tourism."

The one at the Hill Valley Mall is switching to a Tubal Ligation ‘n’ Vasectomy World - their buddy BOGO specials are going to be awesome!

We’re ready! Come to the Lone Feather Casino at Exit 5 on I-40, just outside Needles, for our Fetus & Royal Flush Package! We’ll scrape you - but we “bet” there won’t be enough left on your plate left to scrape once you’ve experienced our world-famous Freedom-Lovers’ Buffet!

R227, here in Dacron, Ohio, we converted all our Abortion Huts into gun stores with a special target practice booth.

And THAT'S where the unwanted "babies" go.

This way the good Christians get to force people to have children they don't want, and the Christians then get to shoot or send their upset sons to shoot the unwanted little bastards while learning critical militia skills, eliminating all the mess at schools, churches, playgrounds, day cares, women's shelters, shopping areas, and places where "those" kind of people live. TWO God-given rights protected at once.

The biggest win-win since the Crucifixion! Without the inconvenience of a reapppearance!

The new chain is called "The Assembly of God Aim RIght Range of Love."

Best laugh I've had all day, R230, because it is true, it is funny.

I just read that all the Abortion Huts are switching over to only serving soft ice cream, as of this weekend.

Not the West Coast ones, R233. I heard they are getting ready to open Abobo ranches, like the ones they used to have in Reno for divorcees.

Yes, The Speakeasy Spa and Ranch is set to open in Murder Creek Oregon in July. It is already booked solid.

This will just cause another supply chain problem dammit.

We were just at the Chinese buffet and were thoroughly enjoying the Black Pepper Fetus with wood ear mushroom, and they said get it while you can, this is it, until we get the shipment from Asia.

I always preferred their mid-level competitor from the ladies apparel Hit or Miss chain, Hit or Miscarriage.

I just did it in the restroom at the prom.

Bump

Abortions sure aren't what they used to be.

baby bump

They ripped the baby out in a timely manner, hardly had to wait at all (good) but the frenzied jabbing also gave me an infection (bad.) That meant I later had to go back and have everything that was leaking and inflamed up in there removed (bad.) Yet in a surprise twist, that means I can never have kids now (good.)

So I guess all in all 7/10.

Hey guys there’s a new store going up in the old Abortion Hut space in the mall!

The sign says “TITS-BE-GONE.”

Anyone familiar with the brand?

Actually it says TITS B GONE

The I in TITS is a 🔪 and the B is a pair of boobies.