John Mulaney part three: confused homosexual may have knocked up Olivia Munn

Previous thread

Oh my!

This is messy and I am here for it

OP's terrible attempt at a joke reminds me that Anna Marie posted a photo with Petunia back in May, for those of us who were wondering if Petunia was still with us.

When did she grow thunder thighs?

He wanted to bang a hot chick now she is no makeup, glasses, pregnant fat, and sloppy.

This explains a lot

Is Ann Marie on suicide watch?

Hopefully she's celebrating getting away from a man stupid enough to have a baby with Olivia Munn. And hopefully it's not a girl--Olivia will have her botoxed and on a restricted calorie diet before she's out of diapers.

His ex never wanted kids so this might be the very thing that makes her cackle her ass off and move on. She may not be moping about him anymore, the last IG post that could be considered mopey was back in July.

Doesn't sound very sober of him.

Someone on the previous thread mentioned that Olivia Munn had denied being pregnant, so I went to look for that article and didn't find it, but I DID find just an absolute TON of articles she's obviously fed the press over the last five years about how she looked pregnant to her masseuse, how "Eva Longoria made me look pregnant," a stunt back in January where she purposely wore a baby bump, etc. This woman teases pregnancies ALL THE TIME.

I don't know what (if anything) to make of that.

Can Olivia even get pregnant anymore after so many “procedures?”

R12, you really don't know what to make of that?

No, I don't. I have no idea if past pregnancy baiting means this is bait, too, especially since she isn't coming out and talking about it like she usually does. She was always posting on IG about it or talking about it in interviews, but this time, nothing. Plus she said she was "pulling back" on the relationship with Mulaney last week. This doesn't feel like the usual baiting, but with her, who knows?

Don’t guys know when to use a fucking condom? Ka Jesus! 😬

Ann Marie strikes be as completely barren, so they probably didn’t need to worry about contraception and it’s a new burden for him with Olivia.

R15, sorry I misunderstood. I thought you meant you didn't know what to make of her teasing pregnancies all the time. You can feel her thirst from miles away.

Well maybe she’s pulling back with Mulaney because he doesn’t want it. At 40 it may be her last chance.

I haven’t paid attention to Mulaney since the original rehab threads, clearly a lot has happened since then and I have some catching up to do.

[quote]I have no idea if past pregnancy baiting means this is bait, too, especially since she isn't coming out and talking about it like she usually does. She was always posting on IG about it or talking about it in interviews, [bold]but this time, nothing.[/bold]

I disagree about the “nothing.” She’s walking in a dark parking garage, who do you think called the paparazzi? She knew people would talk and she knew Anne Marie would see the photos.

The picture below is from a June 30 article linked within OP’s.

Poor Olivia, the fraus will NEVER forgive her for this

^ She'll just call them fat and pretend she doesn't care.

"This time, I'm really going to get my life together. This time they're aren't going to be any giant fuck-ups for ole Johnny-Boy. This time it's just the straight and narrow, smart decisions, all the way!"

And John can't support an abortion. He's a closeted gay alcoholic Catholic!

[quote]Don’t guys know when to use a fucking condom?

No one is going to use a condom with Olivia Fucking Munn.

But I do give the girl credit though. I've always appreciated the classics when it comes to guaranteeing yourself 18 years of steady income.

So much for no major life changes in the first year of sobriety.

She's going to be in for a surprise if she thinks Mulaney can guarantee 18 years' worth of income.

R25, joke's on her. His ass is broke and the wife is first in line with spousal support and a big chunk of whatever assets they have left. Dissipating marital assets by snorting them up your nose doesn't go over well with most divorce judges.

Munn is actually a lot wealthier than he is and has chased much wealthier men, so I doubt she's looking at this baby as a meal ticket. She'll abuse it in other ways.

surrogacy pays something

I don't believe that John Mulaney is broke. I think that is a complete DL creation. Olivia is a smart slut. She would not have allowed John to put a baby in her without knowing the future benefits of such a condition.

I tried to get John pregnant multiple times at 30 Rock.

I have to wonder what this article about Olivia dialing back her relationship with John and possibly "not being there" when he gets back from tour was about, then, if this is all part of some big gold digging plan. A week ago a "source" is saying she's not going to stick around and wait for Mulaney to get back from tour, now she's out calling paps to show off her pregnancy bump. It's weird.

R30 He talks about it in his show. The stuff he admits to is pretty bad, so it's not an unfair assumption that reality is much worse. At one point he was out of money and so desperate for coke he bought a Rolex on his credit card I think he said for $12,000 and pawned it for $6000. In the Boston shows he was pretty much begging the audience to buy the overpriced t-shirts because he ordered too many and they have the name of the venue so can't be sold elsewhere.

I'm sure he's not normal person broke, especially considering his parents' wealth. But among his and Munn's crowd, he's po.' Nevermind the likelihood of relapsing. This pregnancy is not a financial transaction.

R33 he’d also suck cock for coke! A really good cocksucker too! Deepthroat, swallower with no gag reflex.

Funny that the subject of John M. keeps coming up...us gays seem to be embarrassingly obsessed with him. I work at a hotel on the Las Vegas Strip where he's currently performing. (He was scheduled for 9/03 and that show sold out so fast he added a date for either 9/04 or 9/05...I honestly don't know which, nor do I care enough to Google it.) Guess how many guests I've had ask me about his shows? -5 and/or 0 guests would be the answer. So I'm not sure who's seeing the shows,either paid or comped. Local, millennial, ne'er do wells? His sober/not sober/sober again act is a joke at this point, and not in a good way.

I don't like her - I really don't. What kind of magic does this woman have?

[quote]I'm sure he's not normal person broke

That I can get my head around. The dude still has three houses and an apartment in NYC. If he's broke, he's rich people broke. But I bet a lot of it is exaggerated for comedic effect.

[quote]What kind of magic does this woman have?

She does ass to mouth and a bunch of other stuff. The fucking she put on John probably blew his mind.

I checked and there are a few tickets left for his Vegas shows on the 4th and 5th but not many, maybe 10 total.

I do find it very kinky to think about him and Pete having sex together and how dirty, degrading and out of control it would be.

He’s not funny at all. I tried to watch his standup but barely made it through, didn’t laugh once. Straights like him because he’s like that awkward friend they have that’s self-deprecating that everyone swears is gay and calls a “fag”.

R40 that was the rumor

Yes, gay man routinely knock up women. The man is not gay, just gayish.

Olivia Munn had Chris Pine in the clutches of her pussy and this is who she chooses to procreate with?!

[quote] In the Boston shows he was pretty much begging the audience to buy the overpriced t-shirts because he ordered too many and they have the name of the venue so can't be sold elsewhere

The name of the venue? Rookie mistake

Is he as funny as he was before he sobered up?

^question

John and Livvie sitting’ in a tree.

B-E-A-R-D-I-N-G

Why didn’t he just get a cash advance on his credit card instead of buying a Rolex and pawning it?

Better yet, use his credit card to “pay” his corporation (surely his comedy gigs are run through a corporation?)

He sounds like an inept junkie.

R49, I dig your style.

R44 you need to have sex to get someone pregnant.

And it ha to be vaginal sex.

[quote]Olivia Munn had Chris Pine in the clutches of her pussy and this is who she chooses to procreate with?!

Don't be naive. Olivia Munn, even if she does have a bun in the oven now, was one of Hollywood's most in-demand professional beards.

[quote]Why didn’t he just get a cash advance on his credit card instead of buying a Rolex and pawning it?

Some of them have daily withdrawal limits.

Aren’t cash withdrawals on a credit card at a much more substantial rate?

Would a gay guy really knock up Olivia Munn? I question whether he is gay if the baby is his

Turkey. Baster.

Why would John baste her though, it makes no sense

I love that we're wondering whether it's more fiscally sound for a junkie to use the cash advance or buy and pawn option on his credit card.

R46, I'd say yes. I saw his current show and it was brutally funny. Even during the cringiest moments. I honestly never imagined I could laugh so hard at someone describing his derailment.

All John had to do was think about Aaron Rodgers boning him and I’m sure he was able to get it up and shoot it off pretty quickly

Why do I feel like this will turn into a Rosemary’s Baby sistuation?

I highly doubt she’s pregnant. If she was, you can bet she would be shouting it from the rooftops for attention.

[quote]Why do I feel like this will turn into a Rosemary’s Baby situation?

Or perhaps this.

She’s stupid. I would have had a baby with the billionaire she was with a few years ago.

It's Aaron's baby. Why do you think he and the fiancee are on the outs these days?

If it turns out she's pregnant with someone else's baby, that would absolutely be the perfect cherry on this shit-filled sundae!

[quote]It's Aaron's baby. Why do you think he and the fiancee are on the outs these days?

I highly doubt that.

Did she give birth yet?

John definitely seems the type to peace out on some “girl” he got pregnant. In his Catholic mind, sluts get what they deserve for having sex.

He's a low hanging man.

And Olivia is low-hanging fruit.

I doubt he has low hangers. Although you can never know.

Munn has lived in a weird PR constructed bubble for nearly a decade. That's what happens when you're banging the married head of a network and studio. She made plenty of money and worked constantly over those years.

Dont believe anything about her you read. Anything. Speculation is useless. If she actually has a baby and Mulaney confirms its his, I'd guess you can believe that.

It’s Channing’s baby.

OH LORD, at first I had read Olivia WILDE, glad it's Olivia Munn.

99% of stand-up comedians are fucked up. Perfectionistic, insecure, arrogant, totally neurotic and self-involved. Woe betide this woman if she really is having a baby with this man.

Rosie O'Donnell told a friend of mine that Olivia Munn is pregnant and Rosie used her funny Chinese lady accent to announce it.

R73, who? We "Name names" on the DL. Apparently, he's a studio head who was unable to get her in anything most people have seen.

Mulaney has deleted everything off his Twitter and unfollowed everyone except the Secret Service.

You know, I just keep thinking about how he went on Kimmel after he was investigated for that SNL "Caesar" joke and said that the Secret Service must have surely thought he was a serious threat to the president, because he and his wife had rented an apartment in D.C. near the Secret Service headquarters.

Because if you're going to commit a crime, you move in next door to the cops? It didn't make any sense. He didn't say it sarcastically, but maybe he meant to and was just too messed up to pull the tone off.

To me, it sounded like coke paranoia. And here he is, right outta rehab, still needling the Secret Service.

According to people on Twitter who went to his show last night, he was still talking about how he was the funniest person at his intervention, all the comedians who were there to help him weren't nearly as good-looking and funny as he is.

I'm about to become one of those people who follows his career just because I cannot wait for him to crash and burn again, because he's a spoiled, coked-up, snot-nosed little brat.

I think he fell off the wagon.

John, get to an AA meeting stat!

She’s enjoying the free donuts

So she is actually pregnant with his baby, or she's orchestrated a fake out which means he's letting her use this association to get more attention than she's gotten in years even though it's destroying his image.

Terrible possibilities and equally stupid.

If she’d arranged the pap pics, why would she let herself be photographed looking like shit?

To make them look more "authentic." Olivia is an old pro at this--she saw how her evening hair and makeup ruined the "oops, caught!" vibe of their staged lunch date pics and course-corrected.

Or you think a pap was hanging out in a parking lot and recognized her masked and dressed like a slob?

He's getting attention r85 and I'm pretty sure that's all he cares about right now.

This feels very “John isn’t happy about this pregnancy, so I’m going to make it uncomfortable for him.”

The pics seem staged.

Of course it's staged. The pap got clear shots of her belly at every angle. She didn't even feign trying to block the shots.

We are many things at DL, but not naive.

[quote]because he's a spoiled, coked-up, snot-nosed little brat.

Not my Andrew!

Maybe he's playing poor because of the divorce AND a kid on the way.

It’s hard to believe it’s an accidental pregnancy.

I blame the ex wife for all of this. He spent years with that grating, sexless shrew and it drove him straight to coke and the very wet and well-trained and always open vagina of one Miss Olivia Munn. Gay men can learn a lesson from this as well, stop getting involved with these "wives on HGTV's House Hunters" types.

r94 is bored and way, way too obvious.

[quote]Mulaney has deleted everything off his Twitter and unfollowed everyone except the Secret Service.

The Secret Service makes him nervous.

R16 Maybe he did

He's at least up for a blowey when high.

Maybe in addition to wanting to fuck Olivia Munn he actually wanted kids and the wife didn't. If so good for the ex for not budging. Nothing more pathetic then getting pregnant with a child you didn't want to keep a partner. The worst are the ones where an unhappy breeder couple has two kids already and then try for a third to save the marriage. It fails spectacularly every time.

Now that John's a straight daddy he's even more desirable to gay men.

He’s the definition of basic looking and not funny.

As I was saying, John fathered children by a woman to get more dick. Perfect DL logic.

[quote]As I was saying, John fathered children by a woman to get more dick. Perfect DL logic.

He's already fathered more than one child?

Straight, gay, alcoholic, recovered, why are the labels and binaries?

Oh no. I hope he doesn't become one of those breeder comedians who can't stop bringing up his kids in his act." My toddler is such a jerk , blah blah blah...."

He is way too gay to start doing snot-nosed brat jokes.

r105 I got free tickets to see Seinfeld around 2001 and most of his standup was about his kid. ugh

Is John Jr. Here yet?

He just comes across as deeply, deeply self loathing.

Both Mulaney and Robert Downey Junior are very, very hard on themselves in interviews. Every time I see one of them give an interview, it’s nonstop discussion of what fuckups they are. I don’t like this. I don’t think it’s healthy. Yes, you want to acknowledge mistakes and be self aware, but the constant self-flagellation isn’t healthy. There’s no need to beat themselves up constantly.

R109 That's classic stand-up comedian.

I’ll be shocked if a real infant comes from this. If it does, it will be rented.

Knowing the mother, we’ll hear about the tragic “miscarriage” in a few weeks.

[quote]It’s hard to believe it’s an accidental pregnancy.

I believe she's really pregnant that it was intentional.

He was never really funny R46.

She’s not pregnant. If she was she’d be shouting it from the rooftops.

Maybe he asked her to lay low because he knew this would go over like a wet fart in church with his fans? Maybe that was the price of his cooperating with that embarrassing "cute lunch date!" photo session. And why she's been "caught" looking like a slob near his home and now showing the belly--she needs some plausible deniability that she didn't set the shots up. If he's stupid enough to get someone like her pregnant, maybe she figures he's dumb enough to fall for her stunts too?

It's official, she's pregnant with his kid.

This. Is. Hilarious.

I meant to post this on this thread and accidentally posted it on the duplicate. Hope posting it here too isn't too annoying:

Mulaney talked about it on Seth Meyers tonight and as you can see from the quotes in the People article, he's fudging the dates.

If he moved out of the house in October of last year, why was Anna Marie still on SNL with him? He was still calling her his wife on Kimmel in November, explicitly said he was living with her in an apartment in DC.

He didn't mention going into rehab in December, I notice. He claims he met Olivia Munn in the spring but she's already made sure we all know they met back in 2015. He and Seth also talk about this having gone on for a year when it obviously has not. Nice of Seth to lie for John, I guess.

That pissy little "maybe I won't be here when you get back from tour" from Olivia that a "source" told tabloids a few weeks ago, plus the recent sighting with her obviously pregnant, are clearly Olivia trying to get John to take responsibility.

This oughta be good.

Seth Myers comes across as a really nice guy and a good friend.

Apparently John thought his life wasn't enough of a train wreck already. Paging Olivia Munn!

This is classic drug addict behavior.

I'm sure it wasn't planned on his end you're right 121

What does Munn look like genetically without the plastic surgery and smoke and mirrors? John is good looking and it isn't faked. I wonder if straight men think about such things. Do Korean men date with spidy sense, knowing that pretty Korean girls might be genetic horror shows?

Also - Irish curse, or not?

R124, I get big dick energy from John. Which makes the Pete Davidson slash fiction even more exciting.

Personally, I get BDE from Davidson (despite the fact that he looks like he smells) but not from Mulaney. I always thought the rumors/slashfic about Pete and John were basically of the "John thirsts for Pete's huge cock" variety.

Reasonable, R26.

Holy shit, he's totally lying. Aside from all the fudging, they started dating in the spring and she immediately gets pregnant? Yeah, OK John. Hope your next stint at rehab has a better outcome;

I don't get BDE from John. From Seth Meyers; and Pete D, yes. John is a size queen. Olivia probably has a big clit and of course she pegs John with large, florescent jelly dildos.

I get BDE from Seth Meyers, says local dunce.

He lied his ass off about the dates because he has a pathological need to be liked and approved of. I actually think this appearance on Late Night to announce the pregnancy was a ghastly idea. This need for approval is as much one of his demons as his addictions.

This announcement feels rushed and very forced. Yes— a very bad idea.

Isn’t the need to lie also part of the addiction profile? Like, lying unnecessarily especially when it would have been better to say nothing at all?

Racist troll @ R123, A quick googling shows her yearbook photo looks exactly the same as she does now

R129 it’s the little details, “fluorescent jelly dildos,” that lend credibility and makes this ring true.

[quote]What does Munn look like genetically without the plastic surgery and smoke and mirrors?

She looks like an older version of her teenage self.

There are plenty of things to criticize her for but plastic surgery isn't one of them

OMG please, she's had a ton of work done. Her eyes alone are completely different, and there are plenty of tweaks elsewhere.

Surgery or not for Olivia, she's actually attractive. There's a loon in here suggesting John is good looking. As if.

Yes you can tell she has had work done, her face is different

I actually think her cute fatty happa face and his awful angular Irish face, their lighter eyes (unless hers are contacts) and dark hair might make a cute baby. Marilyn Munn-Mulaney.

"Hey John, it's Bill Clinton. I've heard you mention me in some of your routines. Real funny stuff! So, I thought maybe we should meet, grab a coffee. Oh, by the way, you've got a real good looking gal there, is she still working on that baby weight? Hope she's not working too hard."

I don't think he's out of the woods yet in terms of addiction. He keeps insisting "I wasn't on coke when I did this segment. I wasn't on coke when I hosted SNL!" That stuff is so bedside the point, and the fact that he focuses on these probable lies says he doesn't truly understand his problem.

All the stuff in his standup about how mad he was about the intervention seems to me a pretty good indicator that he's not on the road to recovery. A lot of his recent choices seem like petulant lashing out, too.

People in recovery have to be able to get honest in order to stay sober. He doesn't seem to be there yet. Some people never get there.

[quote]All the stuff in his standup about how mad he was about the intervention seems to me a pretty good indicator that he's not on the road to recovery.

He said something in his standup about his intervention where he told someone that here he was at his intervention but he had just done coke with the guy the other night. I found that funny. Here's a tip, if you're going to an intervention make sure you haven't gotten high with the person you're having the invention for. This is why I stay away from interventions.

There used to be another addicted actor who had an unplanned pregnancy with an actress just months after they met. A few years later he died of an overdose.

Well, he hasn’t made amends to me!

Is Seth very tanned, or is John very pale?

Seth is flushed from alcohol abuse.

John is very pale.

He kept stressing he wasn’t high when he did Late Night Seth Myers and SNL, but this seems like a pretty obvious lie. Is he trying to make sure his stand up shows are eligible for insurance?

Addicts having babies, isn’t this what we’ve always worried about? Should we have CPS set up an account now?

If only he'd answered that email, he wouldn't be playing house with a girl who thinks combining a Seinfeld episode with a Lisa Lampenelli bit is okay