Is Frank Lampard Jr alright?

I still fondly remember him getting a blowjob in that leaked group sex video of British footballers having fun with their groupies that happened ages ago.

R1 hold my beer!

Seriously though, Mad Franky looks so depressed these days. Maybe he’s just bored and lonely stuck at home with the kids with nothing to do.

Mind you, I would be down on myself as well if BBC Sport made me explain my biggest career failure live on telly to millions for no reason.

Frank’s microexpressions are legendary.

R1 what was so pathetic and sad about that was the fact that the footballers (Lamps, Rio, and some other bloke I can’t remember now) only did it to steal thunder and headlines because were so envious of their mates who got picked for England that year. Imagine being that bitter and petty.

Still, they were young lads at the time (about 21, iirc), and I guess these things happen when testosterone fuels self-pity. Happy those girls got a nice chunk of change from the tabloids for the tape.

Whispers are saying he could be the next England manager.

Think I’d like him as the next Youth team gaffer, but not the Seniors. Not yet, anyway. He need years more experience, and time to get over the Chelsea humiliation.

Imagine if we put all that money and time and energy and manpower toward something positive for the earth and mankind?

People waste so much time.

R7 life is difficult, disappointing, painful and stupid for almost everyone. Let’s find enjoyment where we can, and not begrudge others what they feel they need to get by.

Football is a very interesting phenomenon, in that it’s providing a safe outlet for international tensions, as well as psychological comfort, channel and catharsis to masses of fairly desperate people. That doesn’t make the exploitation of those masses right, nor does it exonerate what the elites who run the game are doing; however, there’s no denying that the game as we know it now fulfills an emotional security need and an identity question that many have.

TBT the time several years ago when Anton Hysen (Glen Hysen’s gay son, who also played pro football) was on a Swedish podcast, and told a story about how he once was making out with Frank in a random nightclub. Anton said it was more than one quick drunk snog, more like full on groping and grinding as well as kissing, and lasted ages.

To this day I wonder if that is actually a true story (not just a case of mistaken identity or false memory cooked up while high), and if it is true then why British media never picked it up and nobody else ever mentioned it besides a scant few football fan forum users and a Swedish gossip blogger.

Frank really does strike me as a former player who could be gay or bi. He’s incredibly touchy or sensitive about certain things that don’t bother other players, quite guarded and serious about his personal life & beliefs, and I know from second-hand reports that he was always a bit reticent and ambivalent about the cleat-chaser culture and women throwing themselves at him (he was screamingly high and felt pressured by his mates doing the sex tape—not an exoneration of his behaviour, just context). His cousin Jamie ‘Redders’ Redknapp used to despair of his hopelessness with women, which is also something the current Spurs side say about their mate Eric Dier (rumoured to be gay...)

He just needs a tight warm hole to unload in.

R10 tell me about it, mate. So relieved I got the England call-up this year, my arse needed a break.

Dunno why he doesn’t just apologise to Gerrard and get it back on with him.

Pair of moody fuckers are clearly obsessed with and made for each other.

where r the nudes?

R13 Mourinho has them.

He’s against massively expensive transfers, so maybe this unprecedented week of Premier League spending has broken him.

This could explain it. His wife has pretty horrible reputation, Bitch is one of the milder comments I've heard about her.

R16 Frank cried during his wedding to her. Never a good sign.

What I find so odd about Christine is her adamant belief that she’s going to be together with Frank forever faithfully, when he cheated on the mother of his two kids to get with her in the first place and she knows very well what football culture is like.

Irish Catholics tend to be well hypocritical about all that, though.

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Chelsea will challenge for the Prem title this season. Bet Frank is kicking himself, now.

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Current England footballer Jadon Sancho is a huge fan of Frank, and idolised him growing up in training. Aww.

Christine is friends with Sparkle too? I had no idea. She really is a good networker.

Small fucking world . Every bloody thread leads back to Markle somehow on DL.

I never heard that Anton story, R9. Interesting.

R25 it’s wild. The first I heard of it was several months ago, stumbling across a link to the podcast by accident while looking for something else and someone else entirely (though still about Swedish football).

Could hardly believe what Anton said, and that he put it out there so nonchalantly—the players know that we all know that there is plenty of gay/bi activity going on in football, but usually no-one violates the Fight Club rule.

If it’s a true story, then it’s safe to assume Frank must have somehow mugged Anton off after their little encounter, severely enough to warrant a bombshell.

Yeah, that would make sense, R26. I don't think he'd just volunteer that information without a reason...basically outing him.

The only other player I can think of who volunteered information (but didn't name names) was Marco Borriello who said he believed there were bisexual players at Milan, Juve and Genoa.

Scottish loanee player Billy Gilmour recently got a load of homophobic abuse from the stands at the week 1 Norwich vs. Liverpool match. Don’t even think he’s gay, but he got tons of grief anyway.

When stuff like this happens, you can see why players fear stepping out. That said, he only way to shut bullies up and put them in their place is to front them out.

Ugh...there are so many idiots in this world, R28.

I'm not a huge football fan, but is Lampard supposedly really intelligent or am I thinking of another one?

R30 yes, that’s Frank. Relatively-speaking, his IQ score is quite high (over 150, as measured in 2009), and unlike most footballers he studied to attain strong A-Level marks in academic subjects. Of course, by the standards of European football this isn’t as impressive; dozens of top-flight non-English players have Baccalaureate educations, University degrees and speak multiple languages fluently. But we have to work with what we’ve got.

Frank’s punditry stint on BT Sport also made it clear that his English vocabulary is bigger than the majority of other players. I still remember him once casually using the word ‘bemoan’ during a critique, and his fellow pundit and close friend Rio Ferdinand giving him the most quizzical look (obviously never having heard the word before and unsure of its meaning).

How Frank dodged the Redknapp gene for inherently aggressive stupidity is a miracle.

For contextual comparison, this is Frank’s cousin (or half brother, depending how technical you want to get) Jamie.

Twice as good-looking as Frank, but sadly half as intelligent.

To my pleasant shocked surprise, not once during this whole month of Jack Grealish drama has anyone brought up the unnatural stint Frank put in at Man C*ty for the 2014-15 season as a comparison.

That move looked and felt wrong in so many deep horrible levels. I cried that summer, honestly.

TBT the bad old days of the Euro qualifiers 2007 when Lamps refused to break bread with new callup and racist thug scouser Joey Barton, because the latter had repeatedly been talking shit about Frank (and also Stevie G.) in the press and on social media in the years before. This snub led to verbals (in front of the squad Joey yelled that Frank was “a fat pig”, knowing Lampard is very sensitive about his weight) and a near punch-up in the cafeteria at St. George’s Park (only defused by Gerrard’s peaceable dry humour).

That event, juvenile and embarrassing as it was, catalysed total change in the England camp thereafter, and triggered the chain of replacement managers ending with responsible touchy-feely cooperation-oriented kumbaya scapegoat Southgate coming up for the Gaffer role (where he didn’t have much of a hope before?. The affectionate and open supportiveness of the players in the England team we see today is, by careful design, a pushback against the problems Lamps & co. experienced and engendered.

In twenty years, it’s going to be Skipper Harper Beckham captaining new call-up Pat Lampard in the Womens’ England team.

Christine sounds so bitter that she’s raising a football dyke and her husband is loving it.

[quote] CHRISTINE: Do you know the really pathetic thing though is that [Frank] talks to her like she's a premier league player! He tells her off [when she plays], saying, “No, kick it one, two, one two…”—a proper football conversation! And I say, “She's two and a half, Frank!” So she doesn't stand a chance, she has to be a footballer!

Frank had a really pretty fit luscious body in his 30s, but we all slept on it and called him fat no less.

Now he’s destined for the paunchiness of managerdom, and it’s too late to appreciate.

The Redknapp gene for looks is so powerful lmao all his kids look the spit of him

How long has she had those blindingly white teeth?

Mad Franky might be getting the Gaffer role at Ipswich Town soon. Bet Christine will be pleased to have the McMansion to herself again, without him shuffling around the place in sweatpants and micromanaging their infant daughter all day.

The Lampards spent Xmas in Belfast. Christine trying to get Franky in with the RA eh?

Mans literally broke his hand celebrating an Everton win vs Newcastle lmao this disaster club is going to destroy him

Guess the Redknapp gene for weak snappable bones and low testosterone jumped out!!!

Dear me, Frank just absolutely battered *his own team* in a press conference, over the players being a bunch of lazy bottlejobs collecting their cheque (80% of them do fit this description, tbf).

Think he’s bitten off more than he can chew, with this job. May have been smarter and more productive to start humbly, take a position as the assistant at a Championship club or as the manager for a youth squad would have been wiser.

Frank looks so stressed out; you can tell by the change of depth in his forehead furrows. Now more than ever, he needs Stevie, to rub his shoulders and tell him he’s secure and loved and still very sexy.

I know nothing about soccer, but when I first saw the reference to Chelsea and Man City, I thought it was an article about Chelsea Manning.

R43 mate you’re so lucky EPL football only emotionally traumatises people!!! we Brits all grow up deranged cos of it honestly

Frank really just needs a cuddle off his adopted favourite son Mason Mount💞

Really in his Struggle Era😔

Feel so bad for the geez he doesn’t deserve all this grief. He tries and he gives but it just ain’t cracking on for him.

Genuinely think Chels have been cursed. First Lampsy, then JT, now R0man. Blues fall like dominoes..

^^^

+the Brentford smacking today😞

RIP Chelsea F.C. 1905–2022

if my brother's hbd post was of him selling me to fucking everton to play under frank fucking lampard i wouldn't invite him to my gay spursy present opening party either

Why is Frank hanging out with Ed Sheeran?

This past week, Sky Sports Retro have been posting a fair few videos featuring old clips of Frank.

Meaning he’s probably soon to get the sack from his managerial role, and slink off back to BT Sport to do the punditry again like he should have been doing all along.

Frank’s absolutely getting it all ways from the Universe at the moment, poor bloke. He looks so crushed. Just needs a few wins.

Wanna make him a cuppa and give him a cuddle while we watch Bake Off in his massive Tory living room☕️

Lamps!!!!! SAUR glad he avoided relegation!!!! Never in doubt🚀🌤💙

[quote]Scottish loanee player Billy Gilmour recently got a load of homophobic abuse from the stands at the week 1 Norwich vs. Liverpool match. Don’t even think he’s gay, but he got tons of grief anyway. Then stuff like this happens, you can see why players fear stepping out. That said, he only way to shut bullies up and put them in their place is to front them out.

The "homophobic abuse" in this case was chanting RENT BOY at the player.

Chelsea has a programme of signing young players and then loaning them out to other clubs. They make a significant profit when the clubs permanently sign the players and restrict smaller clubs from developing players and making a profit themselves if they then sell them on.

Gilmour came through the Rangers youth system and signed for Chelsea when he was 16. He barely played and is now out on loan. That's why they were chanting at him.

It's not pleasant but they weren't suggesting he was gay, just driven by cash.

He's my dream father honestly!!!

Frank's looking a lot better, well-rested and ready and upbeat for the new season.

His appearance as a guest on the High Performance podcast is really interesting and thoughtful, a highly recommended listen. Except when he talks about his beard-wife, but he barely mentions her.

^well, spoke too soon, din't I?

My heart goes out to both Frank and Stevie G. Must be so hard to be someone's soulmate when Fate keeps ripping you apart and pitting you against one another.

Could Frank not afford anything better than loungewear to wear pitchside during the AVL-EVE match? Gerrard had a nice shirt and tie on despite the heat, while Frank looked like he just rolled off the sofa to grab a beer. Still, it showed F’s nice perky nips, so thanks for that.

R58 they both looked fuckable imo, just in different ways. Like DILF at the office and DILF at home.

Bet the sexual tension was so thick that day...