Just three weeks ago, Project Runway star turned gay porn performer Jack Mackenroth came forward to allege that his ex-boyfriend—gay porn star Dolf Dietrich—had assaulted him.
Today, Mackenroth is speaking publicly again, but this time it’s to apologize to Dietrich for “lying” about him, and to admit that he’s been suffering from an addiction to methamphetamine and “large amounts of pills.”
Here below is Mackenroth’s full Facebook statement, which begins with his theory that his drug use may have “ramped up” recently “because of Trump or most certainly the COVID isolation”
I don’t typically like to post my personal issues on FB but I need to fully explain and make amends and there is one person in particular who really deserves a public apology. The truth is that I haven’t been OK for quite a while. I’m not sure if it really ramped up because of trump or most certainly the COVID isolation but I have been self-medicating for a long time. Up until this week, I can’t remember a time when I didn’t go to sleep without some sort of pill—usually abusing them.
Near the end of my relationship with Christopher Ellsworth I started using meth again and taking large amounts of pills to come down. During and after our very messy break up I was f-ed up most of the time and not in my right mind. Drugs are no excuse for behavior as there were a litany of bad decisions that got me there.
The last few weeks we were together I lied, I stole and damaged his property, I made him feel unsafe. For that I am deeply sorry. This was in the weeks leading up to my crash and burn.
After we broke up I went into a deep shame spiral. My drug use increased exponentially and therefore I needed even more downers to allow me to come down and sleep. This leads to the actual reason for my hospitalization in my post above.
I can no longer control my anxiety or sleep without depressants. I didn’t have my regular pills like Xanax or Clonazepam so my only option was alcohol (which I actually hate) but it was better than being in my own head. I was probably drinking for almost a week straight from morning to night sleeping or passing out whenever I could until my mind and body just said “no” and I staggered to ask my room mate to call 911.
This lead to a rapid detox in the hospital which was the cause of my seizure. It was scary as hell. I can’t live like this anymore and I need help. I plan to enter an inpatient rehab facility as soon as I am able and hopefully get my life back.
Again I am DEEPLY sorry for anyone I have hurt or disappointed in any way. I take full responsibility for my actions and will work to make reparations to anyone I have affected negatively. I have completely surrendered to my addictions and I’m mortified, humbled, ashamed and depressed. I’m hopeful for the future living sober and with rigorous honestly.
Wish me luck. I will definitely need help. (Btw I should get out of the hospital today or tomorrow but I don’t have a proper phone as I don’t have a SIM card so I can only use internet based apps. I’m also at Lenox Hill Hospital and I’ve been moved to room 7618D.)