Good news everybody! He-Man has nipples now

I’m looking forward to this and only hope they reboot She-Ra in the same vein. (The Netflix reboot was cute and enjoyable but veered too far from the source material.)

But does he tweak them while getting his hole pumped full of anon loads?

If not, gross. I still can’t fap to that.

But will Skeletor still be femme?

He-Man made me gay as a kid in the 80s. All those hot and bothered muscle men and only three bitchy women.

He-Man and She-Ra made every boy born in the 80s gay. We WANTED him but WANTED TO BE her!

R5 This is so fucking true! LOL!

I loved this when I was a very young kid. I preferred Thundercats when it came out, but I do remember having a real thing for He-man. My first crush?!? I’m actually looking forward to this.

He-Man the Himbo

The whole animal thing aside... as a kid I believe I was unknowingly more attracted to Lion-o's less bulky, more natural build. His suit might have shown off his ass better as well.

Of all people in Hollywood, Kevin Smith is running this animated show? That's so random.

I love the Netflix She-Ra series. Sure, the animation looked flat and cheap, but the story and the characters were pretty great. And it's probably the most LGBTQ friendly animated show so far.

[quote]Of all people in Hollywood, Kevin Smith is running this animated show? That's so random.

Remember when he was going to write and direct a Gilligan's Island movie?

And a Six Million Dollar Man movie?

R11 The nerds love their silent Bob street cred

[...]

R9, Lion-O was pure fuck machine.

He-man is more of a model for good gay behavior - kind hearted, gentle, with a higher voice - until some bitch makes him snap.

[...]

I hope they're smart enough to have She-Ra show up early on. The last show was cancelled before she could show up.

Will Ram Man and Fisto (real character names) make an appearance??

The original was definitely created by a bunch of fetish-loving gays, as evidenced from Fisto and Man-at-Arms to Ram Man and the lisping Prince Adam in his pink spandex and lilac tights, not to mention He-Man’s hairstyle which is the same as my mother’s.

Ah, the 80s. Such innocent times where you could get away with naming an action figure, with a big fist, Fisto.

As a kid I was obsessed with the box cover art.

Zac Snyder could turn a real life action movie franchise into something wonderfully depressing and apocalyptic.

I really recommend watching the episode about MotU on Netflix's "The Toys That Made Us."

If I remember correctly, it was a kind of joke between the designers to see how far they could go with their silly concepts and names.

[quote] As a kid I was obsessed with the box cover art.

I agree, R21. The art gave the impression of a magical, mystical, overcast world filled with creatures and demons and gorgeous god-men and resplendent women. I used to stare at it and imagine all kinds of adventures.

Yes that actually sounds like something Zack Snyder would be good at. And he does have good taste in men.

Columbia was making a live action He Man with the badly cast, dark haired Noah Centino in the role but he thankfully exited as of the other week.

This is a great documentary on Netflix that traces the history of He-Man and She-Ra. Check it out!

R18, don't forget Tongue Lashor.

Stratos queened out at times.

This is the kind of thing where if you’re not going to bother casting a gigantic blonde Adonis, don’t bother

[quote] if you’re not going to bother casting a gigantic blonde Adonis, don’t bother

How about Kellan Lutz?

Kellan Lutz HAD luscious breasts. Not HAS.

At r21's link check one of the wind rider images, the one where it's on the ground, where He-Man shows butt cheek.

That’s not a butt crack

That’s just an ample butt in a thong, like Matt Bomer in Magic Mike

Adam Hagenbuch could make a good He-Man

Decent enough actor (CMU grad) and pecs of death

[quote] That’s not a butt crack

Butt crack and butt cheeck are two different things. And to me that looks like an exposed butt cheek.

Oh sorry I read that as butt crack first

Butt cheek, butt crack - it’s ASS!

Bad News: Smith was forced to take the subject matter seriously, so we won’t get his trademark humor.

Which means it’s just the standard commercial for kids toys it’s always been and not worth watching.

R37 I read that it is geared more toward adult, i.e., it’s dark and mature. We’ll see.

Yeah, so it will be graphic novelly.

I’d rather see camp, but Mattell would never sign off.

He-Man was so much more creative and diverse than Thundercats.

He-Man came first. He-Man had more and cooler toys .He-Man is hotter.

You can keep Lion-O, you furry freaks!

I think Letterkenny's Jared Keeso would be a great He-Man.

Brock O’Hurn and Kellan Lutz are too long in the tooth now.

Brock could be a sexy Beast Man.

There was always so much sexual tension between He Man and Skeletor. Like they just needed to wrestle and fuck.

R40 While I prefer H-Man too, Thundercats is great and has peak moments that are just as enthralling.

R41 those pecs don’t jut enough

Alexander Ludwig as He-Man? Yes, please! However, I imagine after Vikings he's all "wearing fur shorts and fur boots? Been there, done that!"

I’m thinking it looks too serious.

Ludwig is too fat and pale.

Ludwig has a really small face for his head and it looks weird.

Alexander Ludwig. Are his pecs good enough for He-Man?

They are kind of flat. You need more curvature like this.

OP, the original He-Man action figure had nipples, even if the Filmation cartoon character didn't.

Trailer

Trailer is great!

Does he have foreskin?

It definitely looks fun and interesting. The 80s song choice was cute and totally apropos.

No. Doesn’t look good. They can’t get the transformation right, either.

What's wrong with it, R58?

I can’t describe it, it’s just off.

Look at those beautiful breasts

R60 Maybe the rapid pace of and lack of dialogue in the trailer is what feels off.

It looks like He-Man 2002. Maybe that’s what they were going for.

It looks like r63 is the Redundant Copycat Thread Thief, as he just stole my observation from the trailer thread:

I posted it first based on the time, R64. Sorry. You copied me, looks like. 🙃

The song choice in the trailer is enormously cringe-worthy...but this looks good. Childhood me approves...

Don’t you DARE diss Bonnie Tyler’s Holding Out For a Hero

RIP TANDI IMAN DUPREE

Are Fisto and Tung Lashor in this version?

I could never figure out how Skeletor's skull head was attached to his muscleman's purple body.

I could never understand why they released the Evil Lyn figure as if she had hepatitis C. That yellow, ugh. I wish she looked more like she did in the cartoon. I know they always look a little different but come on.

Skeletor would be a Datalounger for sure.

Stratos queened out at times. And Prince Adam of course was a caftan wearer.

This He-Man looks far too serious. He-Man was light and fun and colorful and fabulous. I think that Smith guy takes himself way too seriously.

Kevin Smith is only known for taking himself highly comically. He's really funny and good at comedy.

Which is why it's a huge bummer that Mattel wouldn't let him play He-Man for camp. "Holding Out for a Hero" is as silly as you're going to get.

He wanted to be campy with He-Man?

Skeletor's skull is attached to his body through magic.

Basically, Hordak had to save his life by freezing his skull to his body with sorcery when his face was melting off.

Read the OP's article, r75.

Mattel instructed Kevin Smith not to "wink" with the material.

Some YouTube comments:

"Finally a He Man show about Tee La. I remember watching He Man as a kid thinking, “He Man sucks. I wish Tee La would get a butch haircut and become Eternia’s true champion, defeating toxic masculinity and white male privilege with her woman power.” Kevin Smith must have read my mind."

"Teela is gunna be she-man, the transter of eternity"

"The Revelation is that He Man is not even the star of his own show. XD"

Always get a kick out of this.

[quote]He Man sucks

Kevin Smith has a history of homophobia, doesn’t he? I think he does and I think his issue with He-Man has less to do with “toxic masculinity”—which Adam and He-Man were far from, and more with this muscle-bound faeg he had to watch running around in a Conan-like bikini.

I always hated He-Man's hair. I know it's probably a reference to Prince Valiant but I could never get past the idea that it was a girl's haircut.

The new version makes it look more like a Def Leppard mullet, which actually works better.

He-man had the same hairstyle as my mother. Which always reduced his cool factor just a bit…that and the fact he’s obviously a tanning bed addict, unlike pale, pasty Adam.

It's a very standard, Medieval bob cut.

You must be some kind of A-hole if Prince Valiant is the only other place you've seen this hair.

Well, as I was eight years old and didn't live in Ye Olde Sherwoode Cuntinge Foreste with Ye Olde Robine Hoode and his Merrie Menne, yeah, Prince Valiant was pretty much what came to mind at the time, R83.

Here's an amusing preview of the Kevin Smith series and why a bunch of fanboys hate it already.

SPOILER ALERT: Apparently, MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE: REVELATION is going to involve Teela taking over the role of central hero as a lesbian with superhuman strength, as if we didn't already have She-Ra.

Boris the frau/lesbian/SJW hater would stroke his clitoris to these insults:

Each time I see this thread title I think it’s about Futurama coming back. How I wish. Although it ended well.

gay barbarian

What do He-Man's nipples have to do with Futurama?

At least Sarah Michelle Gellar is doing the voice of Teela.

The title of this thread is EXACTLY what this site is all about.

According to advance reviews, it’s basically the Teela show, with He-Man and Skeletor barely appearing.

Well that's lame. Isn't there another He-Man cartoon coming out? Maybe that will be better.

Yes, r92.

Mattel and Netflix are producing ANOTHER animated reboot of the TV series in a modern, 3-D animated style. As well as a live-action film that's in turnaround and looking for a new He-Man actor.

Combined with the recent 4 seasons of She-Ra, even He-Man fans will have grey skulls.

I like SMG but don't see her as Teela. She always kind of had that soft girlish voice, which worked well for Buffy and Kendell where her strengths or scheming were supposed to be a bit at odds with her outward appearance, but not sure I am seeing it work for a straight out classic hero. I always wondered if her voice is one of the reasons she worked less as she got older, it did not work as well the further she got from playing high school / college age roles.

You mean they didn’t make him fat in order to be body positive or androgynous in order to support non-binaries? Shocking.

They’re already pointing out everything wrong with this show in the comments.

Just watched the first five episodes, and it's pretty great and epic. No Kevin Smith style of meta humor. In the first episode there is a blink-and- you-miss it hint, during the He-Man transformation, that He-Man is completely naked. LOL.

I think it's quite an interesting take on the Masters of The Universe after He-Man and Skeletor are gone. Love that the style is closer to the original vintage toyline (like the vehicles) with a few exceptions (like Evil Lyn not having yellow skin).

SPOILER!!!

But of course, at the end of episode five Adam and Skeletor are back with Skeletor finally wielding He-Man's sword.

I preferred Kevin Smith when he was a chub. Now he looks sick.

I watched the first two episodes and enjoyed the first one in particular. Made me feel like I was five years old again. By episode two I’m just wondering why they basically dispensed with all the men and made it a girls only kind of adventure—Teela, random black girl, Evil Lyn, Sorceress. Maybe they were wanting to provoke a reaction? May watch more.

The early leaks were correct — this show is about Teela. He-Man is eliminated early and it becomes Teela's story and character development.

It's a mixed bag for me. I liked that Smith tried to introduce more adult themes into the franchise for the first time ever. Mattel has never allowed the characters of MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE to actually kill each other, to my knowledge. So to see heroes killing and characters dying was brave and more realistic. Smith also introduced religion for the first time to MOTU -- with its adjoining questions and fanaticism.

r97 is wrong — there are moments of Kevin Smith's signature humor, including "meta." One example is when Moss Man is killed and Skeletor sniffs his remains for fun, saying "it smells like pine!" Which is a reference to the '80s toy and the audience's experience. But it's not as madcap, freewheeling or irreverent as a typical Kevin Smith movie, that much is true..

There was also a lot of fan service — bringing back classic moments, toys and characters and exploring MOTU legends that never got explored by Filmation, such as King Grayskull and the proto-He-Man Mattel toys like Vikor and He-Ro.

My problem with the show is firstly that it's boring. There's too much sentimentality and emotional therapy rather than action. Nobody would be as angry as Teela and hold a grudge about being deceived by Adam and friends, who really did her no harm. It wouldn't be cause for Teela to disown her father, friends, job and kingdom or hate anyone. There was essentially NO struggle when the heroes went to Subternia and Preternia to retrieve the halves of the Power Sword — all they had to do was process their feelings and sacrifice Roboto, which made the show about grieving again.

When small amounts of action actually do occur, Smith used a bunch of tired devices from other franchises. Roboto using his mechanical heart to trap power is Tony Stark or Mortal Kombat Kano. Eternia running out of magic is a lot like Fantasia running out of existence in the NEVERENDING STORY. Teela having to descend to Subternia to face Scare-Glow and her greatest fear is essentially Luke Skywalker having to descend under the Dagobah tree to face Darth Vader and his greatest fear. Discovering the secret door to Preternia by lighting up magic runes on a cliffside was from LORD OF THE RINGS. So was Orko the Wizard sacrificing himself to Scare=Glow to allow his friends to escape the evil cave — which Gandalf the Wizard did for his Fellowship when they were outrunning the Balrog at Khazad-Dum. The orrery at the Preternia illusion palace is just Aughra's orrery from her observatory in THE DARK CRYSTAL. Scare-Glow thriving on fear is Freddy Krueger. Smith was even plagiarizing lines from STAR WARS (Evil overlord: "You've done well, So-and-So ..." "So much anger!" "Take your rightful place at my side!"). Maybe Smith thinks he's being cute and paying tribute to the stolen lines, but "I have a bad feeling about this."

So Smith is just relying on plot devices from '80s shows familiar to him instead of coming up with his own.

I guess I'd watch Season 2 if it gets one, but I think REVELATION is too boring and emotionally sappy.

Kevin Smith is attacking the He-Man fans now that his show has received severely low user ratings!

The problem is that Kevin Smith stated he wasn't a He-Man fan before he took this job.

Secondly, he lied about REVELATION being Teela's show when it was leaked on the internet.

How many grown ups on this thread will get upset about a kid's show?

Does Evil Lyn have Hep C in this one too?

Never watched the original but was compelled to watch after reading this thread.

So Teela is now an angry butch lesbian? There were undertones that she is an a relationship with the black character. Why does every butch lesbian have to have that weird half-shaved head haircut?

It doesn't make you edgy just a stereotype.

Well if they've made Teela gay, they should also make He-Man gay. Perhaps he should develop an attraction to the hot daddy Man-at-arms and flip-fuck?

I don't think that they will make any relationships explicit in this series.

Nobody cared about She-Ra--it was a dead IP more or less--so they could do what they wanted with it.

In contrast, 'He-Man and the Masters of the Universe' has always been the flagship of the whole franchise with a sizable fan base of nostalgic man babies who buy overprized collector's toys. Mattel wouldn't allow Netflix to go all-out 'queer' like with She-Ra; this would anger the mostly straight male fans too much. At the same time, I think it's commonly acknowledged that He-Man has always been a bit silly and a bit gay (with wimpy, pink-wearing Adam basically being a sissy stereotype), so they'll probably continue to have some gay easter eggs here and there (like the lesbo Teela or the gay champions in Preternia).

They should've made Tung Lashor and Fisto a gay couple.

[quote]they should also make He-Man gay.

Wait - he wasn't in the original series? What is next - you are going to tell my Lion-O was straight.

[quote] They should've made Tung Lashor and Fisto a gay couple.

I think Roboto and Faker could explore their human emotions and desires together. Starcrossed lovers and ... robots!

Teela's stereotypical haircut.

Teela was horrendous in this. She was a bratty narcissist, horribly flat voicing by Sarah Michelle Geller, and drawn looking like a MTF. Apart from that, and the rate at which they killed off the male characters, I pretty much enjoyed this.

This is a snoozefest.