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Statements That Are Never, Ever True

I'll start:

"Present company excepted"

"It's not you, it's me"

"My truth"

by Anonymousreply 202Last Monday at 12:43 PM

"No offence"

by Anonymousreply 105/02/2021

There's nothing I hate more than DRAMA!

by Anonymousreply 205/02/2021

"This is the first time this has happened."

"Next time it will be different."

"You can trust me."

by Anonymousreply 305/02/2021

I'm sorry that you feel that way.

by Anonymousreply 405/02/2021

"I can pass for 22."

by Anonymousreply 505/02/2021

"I can eat whatever I want and don't gain weight".

by Anonymousreply 605/02/2021

"No, I don't mind you smoking."

by Anonymousreply 705/02/2021

"With all due respect..."

by Anonymousreply 805/02/2021

"We have to have lunch sometime."

by Anonymousreply 905/02/2021

"I won't tell a soul."

by Anonymousreply 1005/02/2021

"Let's keep in touch."

by Anonymousreply 1105/02/2021

Don’t call me, I’ll call you.

by Anonymousreply 1205/02/2021

R10 - love that one. Only one I can believe is an ex from the 1990's who was 30 years older than me back then. When I tell the old coot something he says "hell, I won't tell anyone because by tomorrow, I will have forgotten EVERYTHING you said".

by Anonymousreply 1305/02/2021

I won't cum in your mouth/hole.

by Anonymousreply 1405/02/2021

“Speaking frankly,”

by Anonymousreply 1505/02/2021

The check's in the mail

by Anonymousreply 1605/02/2021

I won, bigly

by Anonymousreply 1705/02/2021

To be perfectly honest...

by Anonymousreply 1805/02/2021

I‘m masc.

by Anonymousreply 1905/02/2021

I’m hung 8 in.

by Anonymousreply 2005/02/2021

I believe you are actually non-binary.

by Anonymousreply 2105/02/2021

It was good.

(said to a poor cook about their soup, casserole, cookies...)

by Anonymousreply 2205/02/2021

"I voted for Biden/Clinton/Obama, but ..."

by Anonymousreply 2305/02/2021

"Don't take this personally . . ."

by Anonymousreply 2405/02/2021

"I'll pay you back tomorrow."

by Anonymousreply 2505/02/2021

"Asking for a friend . . . "

by Anonymousreply 2605/02/2021

"Not that I'm saying..."

by Anonymousreply 2705/02/2021

"That couldn't have been me you saw there. I was home and in bed by ten last night."

by Anonymousreply 2805/02/2021

My own personal favorite: "I would never do that!"

Every time I've said it, guess what happened.

by Anonymousreply 2905/02/2021

Sending thoughts and prayers....

by Anonymousreply 3005/02/2021

I'll stop if it hurts...

by Anonymousreply 3105/02/2021

"Don't take this wrong way"

by Anonymousreply 3205/02/2021

No, those jeans don't make your ass look big

by Anonymousreply 3305/02/2021

At least on DL, "I'm a progressive, liberal Democrat, but I..."

by Anonymousreply 3405/02/2021

I believe kindness is everything.

by Anonymousreply 3505/02/2021

"No, I haven't had any work done"

by Anonymousreply 3605/02/2021

I'm a Christian Patriot

by Anonymousreply 3705/02/2021

"Why I nevah in all ma life..."

by Anonymousreply 3805/02/2021

I'm only a fiscal conservative, that's why I voted for Trump.

by Anonymousreply 3905/02/2021

"Well, bless your heart"

by Anonymousreply 4005/02/2021

I’m low maintenance.

by Anonymousreply 4105/02/2021

Answering a question: "Correct." "Right."

by Anonymousreply 4205/02/2021

"That's not who I am".

by Anonymousreply 4305/02/2021

"To be perfectly honest..."

by Anonymousreply 4405/02/2021

"Long story short."

by Anonymousreply 4505/02/2021

“Yeah, right.”

by Anonymousreply 4605/02/2021

"I don't have AIDS."

by Anonymousreply 4705/02/2021

"I never touched her/him..."

by Anonymousreply 4805/02/2021

I don’t need to shower. I don’t smell.

by Anonymousreply 4905/02/2021

"I read every response on this thread before posting but didn't notice yours!"

by Anonymousreply 5005/02/2021

"I've never done this before."

by Anonymousreply 5105/02/2021

We can peacefully co-exist.

by Anonymousreply 5205/02/2021

You're antisemitic if you don’t like Israel.

by Anonymousreply 5305/02/2021

This will be the last time Daddy touches your no-no...

by Anonymousreply 5405/02/2021

Transwomen ARE women

by Anonymousreply 5505/02/2021

[quote]You're antisemitic if you don’t like Israel.

How is this "never, ever" true?

by Anonymousreply 5605/02/2021

Trump won both times, fair and square.

by Anonymousreply 5705/02/2021

In my humble opinion

by Anonymousreply 5805/02/2021

I'm married, but I'm in the process of getting a divorce, honest

by Anonymousreply 5905/02/2021

"Great thread OP, how insightful."

by Anonymousreply 6005/02/2021

It's not personal, it's a business decision.

by Anonymousreply 6105/02/2021

Till death do us part...

by Anonymousreply 6205/02/2021

You look good!

by Anonymousreply 6305/02/2021

Sure!

by Anonymousreply 6405/02/2021

I'm not racist but....

by Anonymousreply 6505/02/2021

In fairness, r51, that statement is always true once.

by Anonymousreply 6605/02/2021

"He looked 18."

by Anonymousreply 6705/02/2021

"I'm a lifelong Liberal BUT..."

by Anonymousreply 6805/02/2021

Looks don't matter, it's what's inside that counts.

by Anonymousreply 6905/02/2021

No, don't be silly. I don't mind at all.

by Anonymousreply 7005/02/2021

"I'll be a clean roommate."

by Anonymousreply 7105/02/2021

I only had a couple of beers, officer.

by Anonymousreply 7205/02/2021

I'm a total top.

by Anonymousreply 7305/02/2021

Oh, I didn't mean you, honey. You're fabulous.

by Anonymousreply 7405/02/2021

There's a story of John Gielguld saying a version of that one, R74. Lunching with Dame Athene Seyler, she asked how he was. 'Oh, my dear, terrible! I'm doing nothing but wine and dine the old bags of stage and screen! Monday, Sybil Thorndyke, Tuesday Faye Compton, Wednesday Athene Seyler...but of course, I don't mean you, Athene'.

by Anonymousreply 7505/02/2021

Lifetime warranty

by Anonymousreply 7605/02/2021

I won’t eat the whole bag.

by Anonymousreply 7705/02/2021

I can stop any time I want.

by Anonymousreply 7805/02/2021

I don't think I can fit it all in my mouth.

by Anonymousreply 7905/02/2021

You haven’t aged a bit.

by Anonymousreply 8005/02/2021

[Quote] How is this "never, ever" true?

Because one is a racist and the other a geopolitical term. However, start a different thread to continue if you like so we don't change this thread.

by Anonymousreply 8105/02/2021

I'm only living with my mother because she needs me.

by Anonymousreply 8205/02/2021

"Just sayin'." Ugh, passive-aggressive. I hate it.

"Long story short," as mentioned above. I had a friend who could not be concise. One time, she told a rambling story, then said, "Long story short ..." I said: "Too late."

by Anonymousreply 8305/02/2021

Oddly enough, "I'm asking for a friend" is almost always true.

by Anonymousreply 8405/02/2021

I'll pull out.

by Anonymousreply 8505/02/2021

"You haven't changed a bit!"

by Anonymousreply 8605/02/2021

At a wake (funeral): "He looks so peaceful."

by Anonymousreply 8705/02/2021

"I never eat that crap."

by Anonymousreply 8805/02/2021

"He (or she) is in a better place."

by Anonymousreply 8905/02/2021

You look really good

by Anonymousreply 9005/02/2021

"The memo's almost finished -- I'm on the last paragraph now."

by Anonymousreply 9105/02/2021

You've put on some weight but you wear it well.

by Anonymousreply 9205/02/2021

"Why didn't you ask? I would have helped you out."

by Anonymousreply 9305/02/2021

All lives matter!

by Anonymousreply 9405/02/2021

"... and there's nothing wrong with that."

by Anonymousreply 9505/02/2021

I don't like to judge.

by Anonymousreply 9605/02/2021

TWAW

by Anonymousreply 9705/02/2021

"I love you."

by Anonymousreply 9805/02/2021

I don't want any drama.

by Anonymousreply 9905/02/2021

I hope we can still be friends.

by Anonymousreply 10005/02/2021

"No, I just haven't found the right girl yet."

by Anonymousreply 10105/02/2021

“This would not have happened if I had been there!”

“I will fully protect myself should a gang of 15-20 black men invade my house”

by Anonymousreply 10205/02/2021

I'm pro-life.

by Anonymousreply 10305/02/2021

My girlfriend? She lives in Canada.

by Anonymousreply 10405/02/2021

"I'll never hit you again"

by Anonymousreply 10505/02/2021

I’m resigning to spend more time with my family.

by Anonymousreply 10605/02/2021

Yes, that's my real weight on my driver's license.

by Anonymousreply 10705/02/2021

My shit doesn't stink.

by Anonymousreply 10805/02/2021

"Just the tip".

by Anonymousreply 10905/02/2021

[quote]Statements That Are Never, Ever True

Al Reynolds is bisexual.

by Anonymousreply 11005/02/2021

It’s a honor to be included with my fellow nominees.

by Anonymousreply 11105/02/2021

I'm a people person!

by Anonymousreply 11205/02/2021

“He’s/She’s in a better place…”

by Anonymousreply 11305/02/2021

r113, see r89

by Anonymousreply 11405/02/2021

"whatever"

"I can stop whenever I want"

by Anonymousreply 11505/02/2021

Typical American!

by Anonymousreply 11605/02/2021

Please continue to hold and a representative will be with you shortly.

by Anonymousreply 11705/02/2021

6 months same as cash, if you can’t afford your medication, AstraZeneca can help, have a blessed day.

by Anonymousreply 11805/02/2021

"Money is not the issue here!"

by Anonymousreply 11905/02/2021

I love all my children equally.

by Anonymousreply 12005/02/2021

I am a liar.

by Anonymousreply 12105/02/2021

"I hate so seem like I'm on [X person]'s side"

no bitch you're not sorry

by Anonymousreply 12205/02/2021

"I hate to gossip, but ... "

Admit it. You LOVE to gossip.

by Anonymousreply 12305/02/2021

“OH, I don’t mean YOU….!”

by Anonymousreply 12405/02/2021

It's NOT me who Farted ...

by Anonymousreply 12505/02/2021

"Mom! What a surprise. It's great to see you. I was just getting ready to tidy the place up."

by Anonymousreply 12605/02/2021

"Relax, he won't bite. That's just his way of being friendly."

(Particularly watch out if this is being said of a roommate.)

by Anonymousreply 12705/02/2021

I never kiss and tell.

by Anonymousreply 12805/02/2021

I've got to go upstairs now and TAKE a crap.

by Anonymousreply 12905/02/2021

Daily Mail? I never read the rag.

by Anonymousreply 13005/02/2021

I was just getting round to doing that...

by Anonymousreply 13105/02/2021

I’m not racist, but...

by Anonymousreply 13205/02/2021

I love all my children equally.

by Anonymousreply 13305/02/2021

Oops, sorry to repeat r120.

by Anonymousreply 13405/02/2021

Oh, I’d really love to, but...

by Anonymousreply 13505/02/2021

No, it isn't you, it's me.

by Anonymousreply 13605/02/2021

You can hate Israel and not be anti-semitic.

by Anonymousreply 13705/02/2021

"These must have shrunk in the wash"

by Anonymousreply 13805/02/2021

Corporations are people too.

by Anonymousreply 13905/02/2021

“We view our company as one big family”

“You should take your concerns to HR”

by Anonymousreply 14005/02/2021

Your call is important to us...

by Anonymousreply 14105/02/2021

So sorry I’m running late, I’m only 5 minutes away!

I only watch PBS.

I’ve learned to love my body, imperfections, fat rolls and all!

So sorry I didn’t respond to your email - I never saw it, it must have gone to my spam folder!

by Anonymousreply 14205/02/2021

It's the principle of the matter.

by Anonymousreply 14305/02/2021

I don’t watch television.

by Anonymousreply 14405/02/2021

"I'd love to."

by Anonymousreply 14505/02/2021

"I'm too busy to hang out/talk/etc."

by Anonymousreply 14605/03/2021

Of course I'll still respect you in the morning.

by Anonymousreply 14705/03/2021

"I don't draw conclusions based on appearance."

by Anonymousreply 14805/03/2021

“It’s not about the money.”

by Anonymousreply 14905/03/2021

Diversity is our strength.

by Anonymousreply 15005/03/2021

It's not whether you win or lose, it's how you play the game.

by Anonymousreply 15105/03/2021

"I don't care what other people think of me."

"I have zero fucks to give."

by Anonymousreply 15205/03/2021

Love thine enemy.

by Anonymousreply 15305/03/2021

GOD has a plan for you.

by Anonymousreply 15405/03/2021

"I'm laughing WITH you, not AT you"

by Anonymousreply 15505/03/2021

"Yes, Ms. Ball. Our coffee is hot."

by Anonymousreply 15605/03/2021

Nobody’s perfect.

by Anonymousreply 15705/03/2021

I date exclusively in Europe.

by Anonymousreply 15805/03/2021

Jesus died for your sins.

by Anonymousreply 15905/03/2021

This won’t hurt a bit.

by Anonymousreply 16005/04/2021

It's Israel's fault.

by Anonymousreply 16105/04/2021

No, that dress doesn't make your ass look fat.

by Anonymousreply 16205/04/2021

S/he has been hospitalized due to exhaustion.

by Anonymousreply 16305/04/2021

That women DON'T care about the size of mans penis.

by Anonymousreply 16405/04/2021

S/he died peacefully in his/her sleep

by Anonymousreply 16505/04/2021

Your mother/father really loves you. He/she just can’t show it.

Love conquers all.

This may sting a bit.

And they lived happily ever after.

God is on our side.

by Anonymousreply 16605/04/2021

A little hard work never hurt anyone.

by Anonymousreply 16705/04/2021

My heart goes out to you.

What the FUCK does that mean , anyway?

by Anonymousreply 16805/04/2021

"I am the last one to ever intentionally be classist or a snob" (© r1 from the thread about "Off the charts" airline passenger misbehavior)

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 16905/04/2021

"I don't see color."

by Anonymousreply 17005/04/2021

I am the same size I was in high school.

by Anonymousreply 17105/04/2021

I love you unconditionally.

by Anonymousreply 17205/04/2021

Trump was right about ______________.

by Anonymousreply 17305/06/2021

Trump was wrong about ___________.

by Anonymousreply 17405/06/2021

Black people can be racist.

by Anonymousreply 17505/06/2021

Oh, fuck off, troll at r174/ r175.

by Anonymousreply 17605/06/2021

I hate to say it but….

by Anonymousreply 17705/06/2021

I have lots of black (or gay) friends, but...

by Anonymousreply 17805/06/2021

"Of course I can keep a secret."

by Anonymousreply 17905/06/2021

"Now, you didn't hear this from me ... "

by Anonymousreply 18005/06/2021

I won’t tell a soul.

by Anonymousreply 18105/06/2021

This has never happened to me before.

by Anonymousreply 18205/06/2021

“I just love what you’ve done with this room!”.

by Anonymousreply 18305/06/2021

I'll never cheat on you.

by Anonymousreply 18405/06/2021

"I can double your money in two weeks."

by Anonymousreply 18505/06/2021

"No MSG."

by Anonymousreply 18605/06/2021

It's just a cold sore.

by Anonymousreply 18705/06/2021

No. You don't look fat in that.

by Anonymousreply 18805/06/2021

Actually,

by Anonymousreply 18905/06/2021

Your poetry/music/painting is very good.

by Anonymousreply 19005/06/2021

I'm so happy for her/him/them.

by Anonymousreply 19105/06/2021

It's a match made in heaven!

by Anonymousreply 19205/06/2021

"I've never told this to anyone else before."

by Anonymousreply 193Last Monday at 8:00 AM

"What an adorable child!"

by Anonymousreply 194Last Monday at 8:01 AM

I'll never do THAT again!

by Anonymousreply 195Last Monday at 8:45 AM

"I can quit any time I want"

by Anonymousreply 196Last Monday at 9:29 AM

I use meth, but I'm not an addict.

by Anonymousreply 197Last Monday at 9:52 AM

I don’t mean to offend anyone but...

by Anonymousreply 198Last Monday at 12:37 PM

It’s not the size that matters...

by Anonymousreply 199Last Monday at 12:38 PM

Will someone please not shit in my mouth?

by Anonymousreply 200Last Monday at 12:40 PM

Money can’t buy you happiness.

by Anonymousreply 201Last Monday at 12:41 PM

Alyssa Milano knows what she's talking about.

by Anonymousreply 202Last Monday at 12:43 PM
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