Let's Be an Eldergay!

No, OP, yours is the sound of the trapped farts as they escape from the fatty folds of your ass as you take your weekly bath in a big bucket on the kitchen floor.

It’s fun to get out of Mom’s basement on a Saturday night, no? Too bad you won’t even be able to stay there long when the house is foreclosed.

I’m the lack of interest in prolapsed lower digestive tracts.

Invading? I thought they were a staple here.

OP never really fit in on DL and is ANGRY.

R3 I though they moved to that “Only the Fans” site the kids use???

What’s UPSP?

R6 Universal Penis Size Protection

I am the war between the states that they secretly regret losing.

OP's ageism is going to cost Muriel some valued subscribers...

I'm the ass sagging to the floor

I’m the decades long unrequited crush on John Wilkes Booth.

Invading the DL, OP, you stupid cunt? We’ve been here since 1995. You and your fellow twinks are the invaders.

[quote]I am the UPSP Informed Delivery service I tout about as being tech-savy to everyone in 2021

OH DEAR!!! USPS* my apologies!

I'll be the Judy Garland memorabilia collection.

I’m the swish of a crêpe de chine caftan on a lanai in Wilton Manors.

I'm the mindset that whatever you bitches may say about me doesn't matter. I don't care.

I thought DL is mainly made up of eldergays? And....doesn't one achieve eldergay status at 27?

27 months

USPS Informed Delivery is a godsend. This was stuff I would dream about as a kid, being able to see your real mail on the computer.

I'm the financial security that will forever evade OP because of his inability to defer gratification.

If it was legal and possible, I would shoot any fucker on here right between the eyes with my 9mm firearm, that was under the age of 35.

[quote] You and your fellow twinks are the invaders.

OP *wishes* he were a twink! If only!

I’m the alcohol and tears.

[quote] I’m the swish of a crêpe de chine caftan on a lanai in Wilton Manors.

I’m not even sure what that means but I got a little piddle on my Davenport from laughing so hard.

I'm the desperate need for a Le Creuset collection and a reclaimed mid-century modern shelf to display it.

I'm the VHS collections of Golden Girls and Designing Women.

I'm the decorative floral towel set that nobody is allowed to use

I'm the conflicting need to support and uphold modern social justice ideologies while secretly longing for the old days when being gay was way more fun.

I'm the twink clothes on a bear's body

I am the pied-à-terre in Manhattan.

I'm the sudden need for a young Mexican boy as my new husband

Get off of my lawn OP and take your sassy friends with you.

I'm the condescending look I give the twinks when they haven't experienced iconic gay literature, art, or music, no matter how obscure.

I am the well funded 401 earned by consistently living 1 to 2 levels BENEATH my financhail means

I am DILF at the gym , not training for muscle , training for everyday strength and flexibility

I am Grindr , Scruff and Growlr , constantly pinging with 18 to 30 year old products of single mother households still looking for a " Dad"

I am experience and social savvy , something lacking in most people under 50 these days.

i am street smarts , not easily swayed by social media and consumerism .

I dress effectively and approately for my age and body type . I do not wear underarmor as outerwear .

I am the quick wink and cruise I may give a young hottie just to annoy them and show my appreciation.

I am the hot sex I have on the reg with my 50 to 70 year old peer group. I know how an old man's body works and know how to please .

I am the pasta that is drained and tempered with a cold water rinse.

I am the renova / Retin A I use with sunscreen , Queen Helene is trash

I am the gym play list with Daina Roos, Donna Summer , Gloria Gaynor , Pet Shop Boys . etc

R34 You are making me look forward to being an Eldergay in one year!

Oh and how did theey get those blood stains out o f Jasckie 's Halston suit ? They did not have Osyclean back then ?

[quote]I am the pasta that is drained and [bold]tempered with a cold water rinse[/bold].

Well, then you're stupid, not old.

OP “oh dearing” himself six hours later. Short shift driving that Uber huh?

I'm the rose chintz sofa that reeks of spilled gin and cat piss.

I am Parseltongue, the official language

I'm the farts, the indigestion, the gut, and the caftan.

How old is that R35?

I'm the skid-marked muumuu, because he insists on 'going commando' (underwear is unhealthy!).

[quote] I tout about

"I'm the rose chintz sofa that reeks of spilled gin and cat piss."

I'm the blatino teen who gets rimmed sitting there, three times a week. But he is supporting my family now, so...

UPSP? Oh Dear.

[quote]I'm the twink clothes on a bear's body.

Maybe this is OP?

r47 that is not a bear that is a hairy hippo.

So much for not getting worked up about minor insults and just letting things roll off you as you get older R1 and R34

How old are you when you become an Eldergay these days? Has the age limit been lowered because of the pandemic?

I really must know.

I'm the handle of Smirnoff in the freezer, next to the carton of Marlboro Lights 100s.

I'm the leathery skin from all that time on the lanai wearing nothing but my speedo and caftan while smoking extra long menthols and practicing my Joan Crawford impersonation.

I'm the shrooms that R34 is on to be able to write that rubbish.

OP How rude!

I’m the dad whose daughters laugh themselves silly watching old film of our 70’s & 80’s. My husband and I think it’s adorable they think we were so trashy. You had to be there.

I'm the ball sac sweat that smells like rotting meat instead of cum.

I'm fabulosity. I'm eternal. You either have me or you don't, and it's not about age.

R33 iconic is the opposite of obscure

USPS Informed Delivery was a godsend at my old address. My new address doesn't have it and I'm only 3 miles from the old one. Since postal employees must document every mail receptacle within a Zip+4 before adding them to the system, I suspect DeJoy's cutbacks are at least partially to blame.

Im r412 on last night's Grammy thread and all references to Punky Brewster and other 80s sitcoms

Informed Delivery is helpful if you’re expecting something important.

I wasn’t ageist in my youth, so it’s hard to anticipate it as I age. I will probably go quiet and hopefully not embarrass myself with “markers” like garish clothing or collections of meaningless things. Hopefully I will be seen as a modest presence, steady and self-reliant.

I like Informed Delivery.

Eldergays built this place, you worthless skid mark.

I'm the bran.

I am this person!!!

I'm the framed collection of "Dolly" and "Mame" programs with different stars on my wall, right next to the framed original "Follies" playbill autographed by Yvonne de Carlo.

I’m the unexplained smells.

I'm the dildo I've had since 1983, well used and still hits all the right spots, despite the fact my hole has vastly loosened since my peak years. My dear mother accidentally came across it in 1995, I swear her passing had nothing to do with finding out the truth.

Bitcoins will go the way of the tulip craze.

Ah, I see the thread we had on Informed Delivery a couple of days ago was the work of the copycat thread troll.

We will all be eldergays if we aren’t already.

I'm the kind, serene eldergay who is unbothered by all the insecure little twinks and I'm 43-but-think-I-look-26 types who hiss about eldergays.

I'm also the one who picks up the check at brunch, because the basic bitches at my table are unable to do so.

Most of us have been here since the 90s. That's a damn slow invasion.

I am 50 but ppl tell me I look like I am 21.

I'm the number 39. I crop up a lot on the dating profiles of 60 year olds who look their age.

I’m the stubborn insistence that bitcoin is just another tulip-like mass hysteria/scam.

R76 and I am the other guy agreeing with him. Meanwhile, searching HOW to buy the shit. BC I have NO clue.

Pity, R77, because if you Google "Buy Bitcoin" you'll find hundreds of links. You can even buy it via Pay Pal.

You might question which is the best way to invest in it, but buying Bitcoin is hardly a problem.

What did you say, OP?

Did anyone hear him? Speak up for gods sake! What’s the matter with you?