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Now being sold in the Datalounge Gift Shop

What else is being offered there?

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by Anonymousreply 34705/04/2021

Carol Channing corn cob holders

by Anonymousreply 103/06/2021

Hear hear, OP.

by Anonymousreply 203/06/2021

A mug with all the pussies of the Golden Girls displayed.

by Anonymousreply 303/06/2021

Food

by Anonymousreply 403/06/2021

Cuomo Dildos

by Anonymousreply 503/06/2021

Stevie Nicks' Kickin' Boots, for shattering cunt bones everywhere.

by Anonymousreply 603/06/2021

Gold flatware, for that elevated dining experience - be it falafels or flesh!

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by Anonymousreply 703/06/2021

Our new one-piece lace foundation garment. Zips up the back and no bone.

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by Anonymousreply 803/06/2021

Simple, classic rotary phone dialer.

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by Anonymousreply 903/06/2021

Coming soon - featured frocks from the Hefty Hideaway line!

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by Anonymousreply 1003/06/2021

In the refrigerated case - Red Dragon cheese

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by Anonymousreply 1103/06/2021

And here's the sales clerk.

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by Anonymousreply 1203/06/2021

Just in: a complete range of British royal family "action" figures. The male dolls are anatomically correct, down to the presence (or not) of foreskins. The princesses come with optional martial arts clothing for all the imaginary cat fights their new owners have planned. In a controversial move, the manufacturer has designed the crown so it won't stay on any head other than the Queen's. Magnetic inserts prevent the Camilla doll from wearing any of the optional crowns or tiaras.

Harry and Meghan dolls not included.

by Anonymousreply 1303/06/2021

Caftans....so many caftans.

by Anonymousreply 1403/06/2021

[quote] The male dolls are anatomically correct, down to the presence (or not) of foreskins

I really need the Trudeau and Macron versions of these dolls.

by Anonymousreply 1503/06/2021

Corn? When did I eat corn??

by Anonymousreply 1603/06/2021

Ha ha ha! I'll say! - Merlot

by Anonymousreply 1703/06/2021

Armie Hammer cutlery.

by Anonymousreply 1803/06/2021

[quote] Ha ha ha! I'll say! - Merlot

by Anonymousreply 1903/06/2021

Pancakes Barbara!

by Anonymousreply 2003/06/2021

Signed photos of Vivian Vance.

by Anonymousreply 2103/06/2021

The shop manager who always tries to cop a feel.

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by Anonymousreply 2203/06/2021

T-shirts reading, "I Was Going to Go to Another Gift Shop But Gary Morton Talked Me Out Of It."

by Anonymousreply 2303/06/2021

Sleepover kits for when your neighbor's son is just too tired to go back to his own house. The standard kit includes toothbrush, toothpaste, a brush, razor and shaving cream, and a 6oz. bottle of lube. The luxury kit adds a small butt plug and upgraded lube.

by Anonymousreply 2403/06/2021

Several GAP store CDs are available, including GAP: A NEW GROOVE by Madonna and Missy Elliott from July 2003!

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by Anonymousreply 2503/06/2021

The problem with the Datalounge gift shop is that every time you turn around they are restocking the shelves with old items from 2015!

by Anonymousreply 2603/06/2021

Cans of Cake Frosting

by Anonymousreply 2703/06/2021

R18 at least TRY to read the thread before posting, toots.

by Anonymousreply 2803/06/2021

Cak.

by Anonymousreply 2903/06/2021

Kirker's closed thrift store junk.

by Anonymousreply 3003/06/2021

[quote] Cak.

Graxy.

by Anonymousreply 3103/06/2021

"Quiter!" headstones designed by LittleRock.

by Anonymousreply 3203/06/2021

In the Ladies Lingerie Department, Shitbras by Melissa Gilbert!

by Anonymousreply 3303/06/2021

Erna and PPPSM friendship bracelets.

by Anonymousreply 3403/06/2021

A book of poems by Russ to Libby.

by Anonymousreply 3503/06/2021

Old people's excrement.

by Anonymousreply 3603/06/2021

Unlike most shops, the DL Gift Shop proudly put all the porn in a tasteful display at the front. And with the four 80-inch screens playing demos all the time, you really get that homey feel.

by Anonymousreply 3703/06/2021

The Best of Helen Lawson DVD set.

by Anonymousreply 3803/06/2021

Plain white t-shirts. No logos, no writing, no images.

by Anonymousreply 3903/06/2021

Still by Christopher Reeve

by Anonymousreply 4003/06/2021

Vagina capes. Suitable for twirling.

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by Anonymousreply 4103/06/2021

Luke Evans Thirstade.

by Anonymousreply 4203/06/2021

[quote] The Best of Helen Lawson DVD set.

After you listen to the one song, is the rest silence?

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by Anonymousreply 4303/06/2021

There should be a coffee bar attached, where B and C list celebrities read their poetry and answer questions.

by Anonymousreply 4403/06/2021

[quote]Carol Channing corn cob holders

Hey nah, carn cab halders is MAH racket!

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by Anonymousreply 4503/06/2021

Video tape rentals. But only for Faye Dunaway so she can return mlvies via her trademarked honk-and-toss.

by Anonymousreply 4603/06/2021

Grammar troll dolls.

by Anonymousreply 4703/06/2021

Naya Rivera swim floaties.

by Anonymousreply 4803/06/2021

A limited range of greeting cards, mainly limited to ones stating, "I Condole You."

Coming soon: A capsule collection of Tasteful Friends (TM) merch, including charcuterie boards, Italian pasta (not to be drained), and throw rugs made of the finest Persian wool to cover one's hardwood floors.

by Anonymousreply 4903/06/2021

MissHelenBedd bedding collection.

by Anonymousreply 5003/06/2021

The How to Win Friends and Influence People revised edition, now with a foreword by Meghan Markle.

by Anonymousreply 5103/06/2021

SteveS porn.

by Anonymousreply 5203/06/2021

Seeds for planting your own tree that you can watch grow.

by Anonymousreply 5303/06/2021

Latinagirl soap box boxes!

by Anonymousreply 5403/06/2021

[quote] Naya Rivera swim floaties.

Designed for brackish water.

by Anonymousreply 5503/06/2021

NOODLES noodles.

by Anonymousreply 5603/06/2021

Denny Scott photographs, suitable for framing.

by Anonymousreply 5703/06/2021

New arrivals weekly in Madonna’s African Baby Boutique.

by Anonymousreply 5803/06/2021

360 VR video of the Labia Lounge of an Olivia Cruise

by Anonymousreply 5903/06/2021

Ramsey brand garottes.

by Anonymousreply 6003/06/2021

Coffee mugs from old, failed soap operas like Passions and Texas.

by Anonymousreply 6103/06/2021

A Circular Glass Refrigerated Display Case featuring a varied selection of nut loaf

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by Anonymousreply 6203/06/2021

And Max Gail will be at the grand opening!

by Anonymousreply 6303/06/2021

And Max Grand will be sharing his opening -presenting hole to the first 100 customers!

by Anonymousreply 6403/06/2021

What do you mean, you don’t carry Pepsi here? Don’t fuck with me, fellas!

by Anonymousreply 6503/06/2021

“Tina, Bring Me the Axe” men’s cologne.

by Anonymousreply 6603/06/2021

Once Around the Garden with Erna.....on an extra large Crop top T or Caftan

by Anonymousreply 6703/06/2021

Be sure to pick up a copy of The Girl’s Guide to Tucking Your Dick by Caitlyn Jenner.

by Anonymousreply 6803/06/2021

Cockgobbler Blow Up Dolls - Gobble Gobble

by Anonymousreply 6903/06/2021

Julianne Moore. Seriously.

by Anonymousreply 7003/06/2021

The Official Datalounge Cookbook

Every recipe that's been presented here over the years from Kwanzaa Cak to Cum Cookies!

by Anonymousreply 7103/06/2021

Telephone dialer pencils encrusted with fake diamonds.

by Anonymousreply 7203/06/2021

[quote] The Official Datalounge Cookbook

It's...it's a cookbook!

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by Anonymousreply 7303/06/2021

Sarah Jessica Parker horse shoes, with matching feed bags.

by Anonymousreply 7403/06/2021

Dollar Tree pound cake!

by Anonymousreply 7503/06/2021

Don't forget the loaded baked potato bar!

by Anonymousreply 7603/06/2021

A coin-operated Sybian.

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by Anonymousreply 7703/06/2021

Helenesque

by Anonymousreply 7803/06/2021

Playing in the front windows....

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by Anonymousreply 7903/06/2021

Chrissy Metz Snack Purses.

by Anonymousreply 8003/06/2021

Chrissy Metz snack purses - METZ BAGZ - also available in 80's pastels and fluorescents

by Anonymousreply 8103/06/2021

Bumper stickers

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by Anonymousreply 8203/06/2021

Many, many boxes of pron.

Some of it featuring Lens Dunham.

by Anonymousreply 8303/06/2021

Reasonably priced pound cake

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by Anonymousreply 8403/06/2021

Dr. Dunaway's children's book - "Little Gay Boys"

by Anonymousreply 8503/06/2021

Added store feature:

In store Loons who knock over your shopping cart and stomp on your items and insist that you like and only purchase things THEY like because your items are awful and they're never wrong and if you disagree they'll just put on disguise and return to torture you while the store manager does nothing except put a line through their name and gives them a new "funny" name indicating they're a naughty little loon.

by Anonymousreply 8603/06/2021

Shitty Little Anne diapers

by Anonymousreply 8703/06/2021

Is the Patsy Ramsey doll house complete add on basement still sold out?

by Anonymousreply 8803/06/2021

Joey Luft's Bedazzled clothing line.

Available in one color.

by Anonymousreply 8903/06/2021

Statement jewelry

by Anonymousreply 9003/06/2021

Tub Girl Bath Bombs

by Anonymousreply 9103/06/2021

Excuse me, are little boys’ pants half off today?

by Anonymousreply 9203/06/2021

Lea Michele Air Freshener "Ripper Tripper"

by Anonymousreply 9303/06/2021

Frozen turkey meatballs.

Pasta drainers.

by Anonymousreply 9403/06/2021

Replicas of Glenn's Oscar.

Oh, wait.

by Anonymousreply 9503/06/2021

Drawer opossums

by Anonymousreply 9603/06/2021

Rock'em-Sock'em 'M' & 'G' Play Set!

by Anonymousreply 9703/06/2021

Canes.

by Anonymousreply 9803/06/2021

Buck Jarret Rule Book for Dummies

by Anonymousreply 9903/06/2021

The complete line of Priss Pottery

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by Anonymousreply 10003/06/2021

Breakfast special on the mezzanine - non-event toast. Get it while it lasts!

by Anonymousreply 10103/06/2021

Phone dialers

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by Anonymousreply 10203/06/2021

R102, are you also R9?

by Anonymousreply 10303/06/2021

Blow-up fag hags.

by Anonymousreply 10403/06/2021

Also paper cut-outs of straight female lurkers.

by Anonymousreply 10503/06/2021

[quote] Blow-up fag hags.

That use to be my hobby, but I haven't done it since university.

by Anonymousreply 10603/06/2021

Copious amounts of pot, silly

a take-out area featuring food from the Olive Garden

Sweater mugs for fibromyalgia sufferers

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by Anonymousreply 10703/06/2021

Postcards from the edge.

by Anonymousreply 10803/06/2021

Suzanne Sommers' cum stained panties from that time I finger fucked her in the Bellagio fountains!

by Anonymousreply 10903/06/2021

Two-handed cradle mugs.

by Anonymousreply 11003/06/2021

Non-DLers would mistake them for cream soup bowls, r110.

by Anonymousreply 11103/06/2021

A cloth bag, like a child would carry

by Anonymousreply 11203/06/2021

Olivia de Havilland bobblehead dolls.

by Anonymousreply 11303/06/2021

Jayne Mansfield's decapitated head!

by Anonymousreply 11403/06/2021

Signed copies of "Fags I Have Known" by Lee Radziwill.

by Anonymousreply 11503/06/2021

A Danny Thomas coffee table book.

by Anonymousreply 11603/06/2021

[quote]Non-DLers would mistake them for cream soup bowls, [R110].

Why would Non-DLers be in the gift shop?

by Anonymousreply 11703/06/2021

[quote]A mug with all the pussies of the Golden Girls displayed.

I don't remember ever having a cat.

by Anonymousreply 11803/06/2021

[quote] Jayne Mansfield's decapitated head! —Too dark?

Not too dark. That's just the asphalt. It can be washed off.

by Anonymousreply 11903/06/2021

A Red Weirdo vending machine.

by Anonymousreply 12003/06/2021

The Amy Klobuchar Salad Comb Collection!

by Anonymousreply 12103/06/2021

The Lucille Ball "Ya call this coffee?!!?" brewing station.

by Anonymousreply 12203/06/2021

R100 every piece?

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by Anonymousreply 12303/06/2021

A link to why your pussy might stink. For Kellyanne, Kayleigh, Sarah McHuckleberries, et al.

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by Anonymousreply 12403/06/2021

One free to every customer!

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by Anonymousreply 12503/06/2021

Gwyneth Paltrow's freshly steamed vagina!

by Anonymousreply 12603/06/2021

Antique fainting couches

by Anonymousreply 12703/06/2021

You will find the overweight closeted cashier, who when you bring up your purchase to him, peers over his half-glasses and smirks, "Have you found a treasure?"

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by Anonymousreply 12803/06/2021

The Julia Sugarbaker Halloween Costume!

by Anonymousreply 12903/06/2021

Highpoint coffee? That’s aisles 6, 7, and 8

by Anonymousreply 13003/06/2021

Kathy cartoon PJs! (Sizes start at XXXXL and go up from there)

by Anonymousreply 13103/06/2021

Mein Fuhrer mugs for the duplicate thread troll.

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by Anonymousreply 13203/06/2021

These od course...

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by Anonymousreply 13303/06/2021

Also a must for every DL-er

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by Anonymousreply 13403/06/2021

R130 We sell that in the Flavah Cafe, of course!

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by Anonymousreply 13503/06/2021

I'm the "𝑳𝒆𝒕'𝒔 𝒃𝒆..." board game.

by Anonymousreply 13603/06/2021

I'm the DVD's of the hit series "Sumerian Housewives."

by Anonymousreply 13703/06/2021

[Bold] "Hi Georgia" - The latest fragrance from, me!!!

by Anonymousreply 13803/06/2021

[quote] I'm the DVD's of the hit series "Sumerian Housewives."

Farmwives!

by Anonymousreply 13903/06/2021

Marriage certificates with the groom's name free for each DL-er to fill in and, of course, the bride's name is Judy Garland.

by Anonymousreply 14003/06/2021

In addition to the large screens showing non-stop pron, there is another giant TV showing video clips from the original production of Follies. It cannot be turned off.

by Anonymousreply 14103/06/2021

“Sir, where can I find this shirt?” “It’s next to the caftans and traffic cones!”

by Anonymousreply 14203/06/2021

Joan Crawfords used douche bags.

by Anonymousreply 14303/06/2021

Let's not forget all those great fridge magnets:

I BRAKE FOR PRON

I WANT CAK

MORE ICE

PRESENT HOLE

and the ever-popular

OH, DEAR!

by Anonymousreply 14403/06/2021

Next to the double ended dildos and leather scented candles!

by Anonymousreply 14503/06/2021

Danny Thomas Breakfast Tables. Smudge-Proof Glass Tops cost extra.

by Anonymousreply 14603/06/2021

I understand that a man who used to park behind the story sold blow-up Muriel punching bags (the kind that would tip over and then right itself, rolling back up) but he disappeared around the time someone spilled those nasty organ meats off a truck or something back there.

They tried to hose it all down but you can still see the stains.

by Anonymousreply 14703/06/2021

[quote] Danny Thomas Breakfast Tables. Smudge-Proof Glass Tops cost extra.

To complement the coffee table book at R116.

by Anonymousreply 14803/06/2021

The Guess Your Age booth, where for just one quarter the magic mirror will swear you look ten years younger!

by Anonymousreply 14903/06/2021

Signed posters of David Cassidy, Christopher Atkins and other teenage pinup boys of the 70s and 80s.

by Anonymousreply 15003/06/2021

Tasteful Friends coffee table books

by Anonymousreply 15103/06/2021

Remaindered copies of "How To Please A Woman"

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by Anonymousreply 15203/06/2021

Heavy duty plungers for those massive Kirker Klogs moments.

by Anonymousreply 15303/06/2021

Plush versions of DL's mascot, Sir Hiss

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by Anonymousreply 15403/06/2021

A Datalounge original: The Eldergay Collection

A tasteful collection of items designed with our over-thirty members in mind. Our 2021 lineup includes CDs by Barbra, Bette, and Judy, DVDs of Bette Davis and Joan Crawford films, and our highest-quality caftans in sizes XXXL and up. We know how much our Eldergay customers value good service, so we have hired and trained exclusive sales consultants for this department.

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by Anonymousreply 15503/06/2021

I hope the shopping cart gave keyboards attached so shoppers can cry, "I'm shopping as I type!"

by Anonymousreply 15603/06/2021

Senatrix brand nightwear

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by Anonymousreply 15703/06/2021

Autographed Brendad Ickson portraits

by Anonymousreply 15803/06/2021

Lens Dunham's labia majora and minora plaster casting set. Bejeweling set sold separately.

by Anonymousreply 15903/06/2021

Canned lard in case lube sells out

by Anonymousreply 16003/06/2021

Refrigerator magnets featuring the best of Post Pictures of Hot Gay/Bi Guys

The Die in a Grease Fire cookbook

Coasters from Pimpernel with the Instaho of the week on them

by Anonymousreply 16103/06/2021

Disco bisuts

by Anonymousreply 16203/06/2021

[quote] Canned lard

That also describes many of the shoppers at the Datalounge Gift Shop.

by Anonymousreply 16303/06/2021

R163 Indeed

by Anonymousreply 16403/06/2021

The "White Me Are So Stupid" Collection - Mugs, Aprons, Refrigerator Magnets, Tee Shirts, Fanny Packs, and Other Decotive Items with the DL's Fave Expression of Contempt Towards.... Who Knows?

by Anonymousreply 16503/06/2021

How to Develop a Sense of Humor (Special Lesbian Edition)

by Anonymousreply 16603/06/2021

[quote] How to Develop a Sense of Humor (Special Lesbian Edition)

It gathers dust on the shelf.

by Anonymousreply 16703/06/2021

"The [bold]Oh, Dear[/bold] Guide to Pre-Remedial English for the Illiterate, Stupid &/Or Lazy"

by Anonymousreply 16803/06/2021

White belts in honor of White Belt Man

“Who’ll stop the rain” King Kong embroidered throw pillows.

Giant Duke’s Mayonnaise pop art posters.

“I like blue” t-shirts

by Anonymousreply 16903/06/2021

[quote]Carol Channing corn cob holders

They're right next to the Ann Miller Cahrn Cob Holders.

by Anonymousreply 17003/06/2021

Russian Troll Dolls that talk propaganda all the time every time. "Hi, I'm a life long Democrat but..."

by Anonymousreply 17103/06/2021

In the Cookery Section of our Book Nook Shelves:

"10,001 Slow-Cooker Recipes for the Ignorant Non-Cook"

"Load Me Up - Fully: The DL Guide to Lesbian Baked Potato Wrangling & Heaping"

"The Surprise Anal Diet - Fresh and Ready to Serve"

"The Ragin' Vegan: Turn YOUR Fad Dietary Fantasies into Social Shaming Triumph"

"Fish 4 Pussies. Keeping Your Feline Fur Puff Fat & Full"

by Anonymousreply 17203/06/2021

An array of cheap florescent lipstick from Lipstick Alley.

by Anonymousreply 17303/06/2021

Tasteful Friends coffee table book.

by Anonymousreply 17403/06/2021

Boxed Dump Cakes right next to the dump pies and dump casseroles.

by Anonymousreply 17503/06/2021

The Book of EST audio edition.

by Anonymousreply 17603/06/2021

Newest additions to the book department —

Who Was that Cunt? A Debra Messing Tell-All with a Forward by Megan Mullally

Fat Whores, Rejoice! More Recipes from the DL

by Anonymousreply 17703/06/2021

[quote] Danny Thomas Breakfast Tables. Smudge-Proof Glass Tops cost extra.

And don't forget the "Make Boom for Daddy" DVDs.

by Anonymousreply 17803/06/2021

Gelson's Potato Salad, served by Brendad Ickson.

by Anonymousreply 17903/06/2021

[quote] And don't forget the "Make Boom for Daddy" DVDs.

That's what dad says when he's getting ready to stick his dick up my ass.

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by Anonymousreply 18003/06/2021

[quote] Gelson's Potato Salad, served by Brendad Ickson.

Gelson's Potatoe Salad

by Anonymousreply 18103/06/2021

Fat Whores Rejoice! 101 Cheap and Easy Meals

by Anonymousreply 18203/06/2021

R181 She's also writing a historical book about Pensalvina.

by Anonymousreply 18303/06/2021

A Italian cook book titled: If you are rinsing your pasta, you're doing it wrong!

by Anonymousreply 18403/06/2021

A Harrison if Lowe’s sex doll

by Anonymousreply 18503/06/2021

*of

by Anonymousreply 18603/06/2021

The all new DL line of scented sofa pillows. Ina Garten's fart pillows are our biggest seller!

by Anonymousreply 18703/06/2021

I am really going to be needing a "Sure Jan" Refridgerator magnet when I tell myself I'm only going to have a small piece of cake.

by Anonymousreply 18803/06/2021

Beef curtains! 100% polyester, meat patterned panels, sold in various sizes.

by Anonymousreply 18903/06/2021

Do you have any Oriental children? Their little hands work best for our delicates.

by Anonymousreply 19003/06/2021

Cathy Mitchell Dump Cookbooks box set.

by Anonymousreply 19103/06/2021

R191 See R175

by Anonymousreply 19203/06/2021

cookie scented candles, cookie scented car airfresheners, cookie shaped keychains. cookies

by Anonymousreply 19303/06/2021

A never bought 30 minute Cameo session with Matt the Lange loon talking about his mussy and showing you clips and gifs from Jessica’s terrible movies. Everything is divine! Last chance at $1.50.

by Anonymousreply 19403/06/2021

Feet?

by Anonymousreply 19503/06/2021

Chatterbait Mouse pads.

by Anonymousreply 19603/06/2021

Tuesdays are Senior Discount Day! After senior citizens are finished checking out, the cashiers enthusiastically exclaim, “See you next Tuesday!”

by Anonymousreply 19703/06/2021

Have you seen this on Tik Tok? Watch this curated list of random favorites in the virtual center. Tuesday’s are. Analyze this Ass day (all ages welcome).

by Anonymousreply 19803/06/2021

Tasteful Friends - a monthly periodical guaranteed to inspire the most discerning design enthusiasts. Available at the register as well as subscriptions available through Mediopolis.

by Anonymousreply 19903/06/2021

All known intact and extant copies of “Call Me Bitch—The Unauthorized Autobiography of Helen Lawson” several with obscene handwritten inscriptions.

by Anonymousreply 20003/06/2021

[quote] subscriptions available through Mediopolis.

There will invariably be glitches and/or duplicate charges.

by Anonymousreply 20103/06/2021

Unfinished Manuscript of “If I Did It” by Mrs. Patsy Ramsey, formerly of Boulder CO.

by Anonymousreply 20203/06/2021

Flowy Gucci Silk Shirts, but unfortunately they’re in aisle 8.

Aisle 8 is closed because we just straightened up the merchandise and can we keep things neat and orderly for just one goddamned fucking minute???? I swear in Europe people shop with their eyes and don’t have to molest every fucking thing. You could help out around here, you know.

Go outside to shop. Rain and snow aren’t for everyone, but they’re good for your specific complexion issues.

by Anonymousreply 20303/06/2021

Reproductions of our famous sign:

Salesbottom Lounge—Staff and Tops Only

by Anonymousreply 20403/06/2021

Hung Chinamen: A DL Pop-Up Book to prove the stereotype is not true

by Anonymousreply 20503/06/2021

The Kaftko caftan line

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 20603/06/2021

Selections from the Zach Pinsent Collection.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 20703/06/2021

Dangling Tendrils - 100% genuine organic mindful Korean hair enhancers

by Anonymousreply 20803/06/2021

Hey R203, CLEAN UP IN AISLE 8! Someone just took a steamy dump under the end cap rack of Gucci gaucho trousers.

by Anonymousreply 20903/06/2021

The Joe Manganiello date book - for all your scheduling needs

by Anonymousreply 21003/06/2021

Oh look babe, penis extenders! Let’s get you one.

by Anonymousreply 21103/06/2021

Didn't Michfest have a commissary called The Kuntry Store?

by Anonymousreply 21203/06/2021

Items from Barbra Streisand’s mall.

by Anonymousreply 21303/07/2021

Those are ALL Chinese repos, R213, and YOU know it.

by Anonymousreply 21403/07/2021

"Anal Bleach is one sale in aisle one!" Announced over store intercom.

by Anonymousreply 21503/07/2021

I know someone who bought something from the Datalounge Gift Shop. And then he died.

by Anonymousreply 21603/07/2021

R15 --> R174

by Anonymousreply 21703/07/2021

R151 --> R174

by Anonymousreply 21803/07/2021

On the gift card carousel can be found pre-loaded gift cards for Once Around the Garden and Autumn Harvest.

by Anonymousreply 21903/07/2021

Boxed VHS sets of The Golden Girls

by Anonymousreply 22003/07/2021

Complete DVD collections of the P&G soaps.

by Anonymousreply 22103/07/2021

Special limited edition of the Complete Guide to Bay Ridge Norwegian Catholics.

by Anonymousreply 22203/07/2021

Coffeetable book of Tommy DiDario's Instagram photos and musings.

by Anonymousreply 22303/07/2021

In which aisle is the Ann Miller "Hang in there Baby" Posters?

by Anonymousreply 22403/07/2021

On sale now: tickets to the back room live sex show starring Dylan Geick and Micah Plath.

by Anonymousreply 22503/07/2021

Ann Miller "Hang in there Baby" posters.

by Anonymousreply 22603/07/2021

Hearing Aids? Or are they at the Datalounge Medical supply store?

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by Anonymousreply 22703/07/2021

The Gift Shop employees, in their uniforms.

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by Anonymousreply 22803/07/2021

An amazing selection of coloful dresses in Miss Lindsey's Vintage Boutique.

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by Anonymousreply 22903/07/2021

^colorful

by Anonymousreply 23003/07/2021

Complimentary bread pudding, boxed up to-go, with every order over $100.00.

Not difficult to do since everything is overpriced anyway.

by Anonymousreply 23103/07/2021

We do NOT carry food items in this establishment anymore, Aisle Shitter @ R231!!!!

by Anonymousreply 23203/07/2021

This is why we don't let Shitty Little Ann in the store any more....

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by Anonymousreply 23303/07/2021

I actually know a Brooklyn born Norwegian-American Catholic, R222. They actually existed ! He's in his 70s now and I've never met another. The weirdest possible Catholic ethnicity and to think there was a apparently more than a few in a Brooklyn neighborhood at one point.

by Anonymousreply 23403/07/2021

Thai Transparent Rice Noodles in our Oriental Section.

Multipurpose.

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by Anonymousreply 23503/07/2021

Rulers embossed with the word VERIFICATIA

Clutchable pearls

And this week's special in the snack bar: Sissy's Pizza Bread.

by Anonymousreply 23603/07/2021

Earrings. Buy them to go with your caftans.

by Anonymousreply 23703/07/2021

[quote]Buck Jarret

With an "Oh, Dear! Buck never would have spelled his name wrong." speech balloon coming out of Beth Jarret[bold]t[bold]'s mouth.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 23803/07/2021

[/bold]cancel bold

by Anonymousreply 23903/07/2021

R238 Oh, dear!

by Anonymousreply 24003/07/2021

Multicolor wigs.

Wigs by Wundy - WUND IS LOVE!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 24103/07/2021

The following books

Bisexuality doesn't exist.

Drop the T

by Anonymousreply 24203/07/2021

Erna™ brand toilet bowl cleaners.

by Anonymousreply 24303/07/2021

The EJ Dimera 13 x 8.5 dildo

For Master William and other hungry bottoms around the globe!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 24403/07/2021

Director’s cut DVD set of The Sally Field Programme

Jon Hamm-cut trousers to enhance VPL

Sue Ellen Ewing line of decanters, flasks, and glassware

by Anonymousreply 24503/07/2021

Frau-B-Gone spray, for when they just won't shut the fuck up!

One spray and your cubicle stays frau free for a month!

Use at home, work, in the grocery store or at Bath and Body Works! Fraus will instantly get a whiff of you and realize their emotional manipulations won't work, and will run off looking for another victim! No more "you're gay and single, you can totally stay late while I pick up Brittani from tuba practice!"

by Anonymousreply 24603/07/2021

A "Sows At the Trough" jumbo-sized bib.

by Anonymousreply 24703/07/2021

The “Ginny from Billing” Halloween costume always sells out fast

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 24803/07/2021

101 Recipes For Potato Salad

by Anonymousreply 24903/07/2021

"The Cuisine of Flyoverstan: How To Recreate Your Favorite Chain Restaurant Recipes At Home"

by Anonymousreply 25003/07/2021

Datalounge Cologne and Aftershave: The Signature Scent For Confirmed Bachelors!

by Anonymousreply 25103/07/2021

Not for sale is the sign on the door:

"No shopping between certain hours unless you pay the girl at the register cash upfront. And no, we are not going to tell you what those hours will be."

by Anonymousreply 25203/07/2021

That's perfect R252

Well done.

by Anonymousreply 25303/07/2021

Woody and Mia and Family ragdolls. Collect the complete set!

by Anonymousreply 25403/07/2021

You can always find Cheese Puffs in our Michfest Memories aisle, along with U-Go-Gurl urinals, Brother Sun t-shirts, vagina capes, and Squirrels = Death bumper stickers.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 25503/07/2021

Crafting!!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 25603/07/2021

Celebrity autographed photos!!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 25703/07/2021

More Lysol and toilet paper than you can EVER use, an endless supply!!

by Anonymousreply 25803/07/2021

My upside down pineapple cake!

by Anonymousreply 25903/07/2021

State your boundaries!! Complete sets, all FULLY adjustable - in the Sporting Goods Department!!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 26003/07/2021

259 Posts Later , Again I have to pick up the slack, you bitches are slipping ....

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 26103/07/2021

To contend with the COVID 30 lb weight gain and consumption of the Dollar Tree Pound Cake

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 26203/07/2021

Linsey Graham's face mask.

by Anonymousreply 26303/07/2021

And our special Sarah Jessica Parker bridal and tack clothing line, for the gal who likes to GALLOP around!

by Anonymousreply 26403/07/2021

The Fisher-Price See and Say For Young Gentlemen Who Dial The Phone With A Pencil

Including the new Adrian Leeds version!

Pull the cord and hear Adrian's special messages!

"You're in Paris, you don't need a huge refrigerator, you fat whore! Go to the market every day and get what you need!"

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 26503/07/2021

Mandatory anal cavity inspection upon entering and leaving the store.

by Anonymousreply 26603/07/2021

The Ladybug night light in our Senatrice line.

For those times when you have a prostate flare at 3AM and need to find your way to the bathroom without waking your rentboy...er, gentleman caller!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 26703/07/2021

Towel sets for the Towel Dance!

by Anonymousreply 26803/07/2021

Listen and listen well.

All customers must purchase hospital slippers to enter the premises. Leave your shit-covered togs outside. We will NOT be held responsible for theft or vandalism of your footwear.

Aisle 8 is open. Don’t swing your hips, BILL, and keep your hands to yourself.

by Anonymousreply 26903/07/2021

Nancy Drew board game. Pooch not included.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 27003/07/2021

The Linda Lavin musical key chain. For the eldergay that lost his keys, just snap your fingers and it sings "BOPPITY BOP!"

You can also alternate the phrase to say "TAHW-MMY!"

by Anonymousreply 27103/07/2021

[quote] Pooch not included.

Asta?

by Anonymousreply 27203/07/2021

If you can't find what you were looking for, just ask our sales associate, JIMMMAAYYYY!!!

by Anonymousreply 27303/07/2021

We now have a scale model of Jasmine Guy’s house. The Kirstie Alley action figure with ham tied to a string is sold separately.

In other totally unrelated news, NO, we don’t carry and never will carry MacKenzie-Childs. You need to grow the fuck up.

by Anonymousreply 27403/07/2021

Because we have so many beautiful, tasteful things in our Gift Shoppe there has been an alarming rise in shoplifting! The young man below was caught with nearly $3,000 worth of merchandise on his way out the door! Naturally, our crack security team escorted him to the back and did a thorough cavity search. You never heard such a shouting match! The young man claimed they had no evidence on which to hold him, and he was going to sue for false arrest! The security team denied they had done anything improper. When the police finally arrived, the whole store could hear the repeated shouts of, "Pics or it didn't happen!"

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 27503/07/2021

"As I just told you, we don't have any toilets. We just have Erna."

by Anonymousreply 27603/07/2021

[quote] Naturally, our crack security team escorted him to the back

Crack being the operative word.

by Anonymousreply 27703/07/2021

When Everyone’s Desperately Trying to See My Weenie: A Towel Dancer Locker Room Starter Kit

by Anonymousreply 27803/07/2021

Cookies air refresher, that way everyone will smell cookies, not just you!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 27903/07/2021

House with Bai Ling on the roof

by Anonymousreply 28003/07/2021

Everyone Wants to See My Weenie - A Beginner’s Guide to Towel Dancing

by Anonymousreply 28103/07/2021

On our special Let's Be... days we offer a 5% discount to all customers who participate in the daily theme! By popular demand, our "Let's Be an Insta-Whore Mondays" have been extended to include Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays.

by Anonymousreply 28203/07/2021

[quote]Leave your shit-covered togs outside.

OMG -- people have to leave their clothes outside? Do you really want Dataloungers to shop in the altogether? Have you SEEN some of them?

by Anonymousreply 28303/07/2021

For R275: Exclusive hidden-camera footage from the back room.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 28403/07/2021

An exclusive deal for our One Day at a Time DL customers for a limited time only:

A Lock of Bonnie Franklin's pubic hair! Carefully obtained from one of Bonnie's dirty leotards and replicated using state-of-the-art cloning technology, a lock of Bonnie's cherry red pubes can be yours for only $9.95! Whether you keep it close to your heart in a locket or braid it into your own pubes for that on-the-go trip to the mall or the beach, Bonnie's pubes are yours!

And if you call in the next 10 minutes, we'll give you an additional gift of an authentic Mackenzie Phillips autographed and hand painted coke spoon! Mackenzie is using DL as her exclusive distributor of these one-of-a-kind coke spoons. Your friends and relatives will be envious!

Call now 1-555-BAR-BARA, operators are standing by. Shipping and handling costs are $39.95 within the continental United States; Alaska, Hawaii, and American Samoa are $59.95.

What are you waiting for? Change your life today, DLers!

by Anonymousreply 28503/07/2021

For 5 dollars I'll put on an Ann Romano wig and slap you!

by Anonymousreply 28603/07/2021

Susan Dey's condolences cameo! - Coming Soon!

by Anonymousreply 28703/07/2021

[quote] Susan Dey's condolences cameo! - Coming Soon!

She's also selling plain white t-shirts. No logos, no writing, no images at R39.

by Anonymousreply 28803/07/2021

Lens Dunham signature pebbles

by Anonymousreply 28903/07/2021

“Hold Me, David” Snuggie blankets are back in stock!

by Anonymousreply 29003/07/2021

Shit bras, aisle 2.

by Anonymousreply 29103/07/2021

R291, is aisle 2 in the In the Ladies Lingerie Department at R33?

by Anonymousreply 29203/07/2021

No. Our shitbras are weapons, not lingerie.

by Anonymousreply 29303/07/2021

Deidre Hall’s full line of Awareness Ribbons, in blue, pink, yellow...no, not red.

by Anonymousreply 29403/07/2021

Red Weirdos.

And the Crabwalking toy

by Anonymousreply 29503/07/2021

[quote] Red Weirdos.

Fortunately the store has the vending machine for it at R120.

by Anonymousreply 29603/07/2021

Tattoo removal kit (no guarantees if it works or not - Not Returnable)

by Anonymousreply 29703/07/2021

Just in: DAT's DA SUCK JOB! t-shirts and fridge magnets!

by Anonymousreply 29803/07/2021

Aaaiiiyeee! The Complete Wit and Wisdom of The Homosex Troll

by Anonymousreply 29903/07/2021

Also just in, by popular demand: "OH FANK YOU! You fixded my cheeseburger!” grilling aprons. Available in all sizes and hem lengths.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 30003/07/2021

Snack purses

by Anonymousreply 30103/07/2021

[quote] Snack purses

R301, I will only buy them if they are Chrissy Metz brand snack purses as seen at R80/R81.

by Anonymousreply 30203/07/2021

Dart Boards featuring all your favorite OUT GAY male stars and politicians

* Dan Levy

* Zach Quinto

* Lee Pace

* Matt Bomer

* Andew Rannells

* Neil Patrick Harris

* Billy Eichner

* Jim Parsons

* Luke Evans

* Jonathan Groff

* Russell Tovey

* Jonathan Bennett

* Frankie Grande

* Pete Buttigieg

* Chasten Buttigieg

* Brian Simms

* Sean Patrick Maloney

[italic] Also available as voodoo dolls

by Anonymousreply 30303/07/2021

"No we don't have eldergay hours or discounts, but we are open on Sunday nights exclusively for sex addicts and whores to shop."

by Anonymousreply 30403/07/2021

Trivial Pursuit 80s Edition

by Anonymousreply 30503/07/2021

Where's Andy Cohen, R303?

by Anonymousreply 30603/07/2021

R306, they’re having trouble getting the eyes right

by Anonymousreply 30703/07/2021

A full line of Brian Sims Wear

Jockstraps, harness, and buttplug

by Anonymousreply 30803/07/2021

Special in the As Seen on TV section -- 10-week acting course taught by DL's favorite Smell The Fart actor Drake Hogestyn, with special assist from Ronn Moss.

by Anonymousreply 30903/07/2021

R244 is MEK still devastated but turning heartbreak into commerce with a best selling item.

by Anonymousreply 31003/07/2021

The new Bert Bauer's Good Leg line of prosthetics.

by Anonymousreply 31103/07/2021

Bryan Singer's Baby Sitting Guide

by Anonymousreply 31203/07/2021

Total sensory deprivation and back-up drugs.

by Anonymousreply 31303/07/2021

Are we out of Lisa Beemer’s Let’s Roll! ™ Cinnamon Rolls?

by Anonymousreply 31403/07/2021

Meghan Markle crying towels

by Anonymousreply 31503/07/2021

Cathy Z Jones' "Z Youth Cosmetics"

by Anonymousreply 31603/07/2021

Coke Spoons

by Anonymousreply 31703/08/2021

Now, Voyager - The Unabridged Script

by Anonymousreply 31803/08/2021

** Rulers embossed with the word VERIFICATIA**

Genius. WANT.

by Anonymousreply 31903/08/2021

Just in: Autographed copies of "The Joy of Vicious Face Slapping" by Anonymous (the sequel to his 2015 DL best-seller, "The Joy of Face Slapping").

by Anonymousreply 32003/08/2021

[quote] I for one cannot imagine wanting there to be MORE humans on this planet. There are already way, way too many. More abortions, please.

Completely agree.

by Anonymousreply 32103/08/2021

A 🛎 shaped toy that plays the corresponding theme song version of Alice depending on how many times you hit the button (press one time for season 1 version), etc.

by Anonymousreply 32203/08/2021

R322, is that sold along with the The Linda Lavin musical key chain at R271?

by Anonymousreply 32303/08/2021

The Max Gail bulge poster and ass poster will far outsell the Farrah poster!

Coming soon: The lifelike Max dildo.....

by Anonymousreply 32403/08/2021

The household contents of the girl I knew who posted to Datalounge. But then she died.

by Anonymousreply 32503/08/2021

Book an hour in the Interior Delusions Lounge and watch gay men of all ages argue their opinions about which actresses they consider beautiful and talented. Available 24 hours a day.

by Anonymousreply 32603/08/2021

OP’s stuff.

by Anonymousreply 32703/08/2021

IPODS with the best selection of music for those last minutes of life.

by Anonymousreply 32803/08/2021

Joel purity rings are available at the checkout counter by the other impulse buys.

by Anonymousreply 32903/08/2021

These T-shirts.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 33003/08/2021

The quote is “You ARE a whore, darlin.’”

by Anonymousreply 33103/09/2021

“This is not a Bed & Breakfast” doormats.

by Anonymousreply 33203/09/2021

A collection of Tasteful Friends note cards and stationery featuring only The Best images from our many threads.

by Anonymousreply 33303/09/2021

[quote]Meghan Markle crying towels

R315, they're called "Duchess Success Boo Hoo Do Rags."

$650 for small, $1,150 for the full Queen-Size Full-Victim version.

by Anonymousreply 33403/09/2021

Hot off the presses: The Troll Handbook

How to start stupid threads about cartoons and royals to scare people away from Datalounge.

by Anonymousreply 33503/09/2021

Only in the Datalounge Gift Shoppe, a special blend of Formula-409, guaranteed to clean up any nacreaous layer of permacum.

by Anonymousreply 33603/10/2021

Gin, despair and regret now available in value sized party buckets.

by Anonymousreply 33703/10/2021

Why would you want to “clean up” a nacreous layer of permacum?

by Anonymousreply 33803/10/2021

Latest edition to the DL bookshelf:

The Eldergay's Guide to Group Sex: From Orgy Etiquette to Removing Santorum from Furniture -Everything you always wanted to know but were afraid to ask on Datalounge because , well, you know...

by Anonymousreply 33904/03/2021

pre-autographed copies

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 34004/03/2021

Barbara Perkins photos of the world can be yours for a reasonable price.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 34104/03/2021

R341

Tony Parkins would like his "e" back.

by Anonymousreply 34204/03/2021

Mushroom spores

by Anonymousreply 34304/03/2021

Are they for a grow-your-own-Trump-dildo, R343?

by Anonymousreply 34404/03/2021

The "Princess Diana Death Scream" Maxi Single by Junior Vasquez

by Anonymousreply 34504/03/2021

NEW: The DEAD TO ME Game!

Recreate all the excitement of Datalounge offline with your very own DEAD TO ME board game. Players trade celebrity death cards which contain revealing photos of DL favorites, place bets in the Celebrity Death Pool, and battle over who started the first thread. Steal another player's DTM thread by dreaming up impossible stories of how you had sex with the late celeb!Earn bonus points by being the first to cry out, "So young!" It's fun for (presenting) hole family!

by Anonymousreply 34605/04/2021

The Countess De Lave's Bromide Infused Gin.

by Anonymousreply 34705/04/2021
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