Now being sold in the Datalounge Gift Shop

Carol Channing corn cob holders

Hear hear, OP.

A mug with all the pussies of the Golden Girls displayed.

Food

Cuomo Dildos

Stevie Nicks' Kickin' Boots, for shattering cunt bones everywhere.

Gold flatware, for that elevated dining experience - be it falafels or flesh!

Our new one-piece lace foundation garment. Zips up the back and no bone.

Simple, classic rotary phone dialer.

Coming soon - featured frocks from the Hefty Hideaway line!

In the refrigerated case - Red Dragon cheese

And here's the sales clerk.

Just in: a complete range of British royal family "action" figures. The male dolls are anatomically correct, down to the presence (or not) of foreskins. The princesses come with optional martial arts clothing for all the imaginary cat fights their new owners have planned. In a controversial move, the manufacturer has designed the crown so it won't stay on any head other than the Queen's. Magnetic inserts prevent the Camilla doll from wearing any of the optional crowns or tiaras.

Harry and Meghan dolls not included.

Caftans....so many caftans.

[quote] The male dolls are anatomically correct, down to the presence (or not) of foreskins

I really need the Trudeau and Macron versions of these dolls.

Corn? When did I eat corn??

Ha ha ha! I'll say! - Merlot

Armie Hammer cutlery.

[quote] Ha ha ha! I'll say! - Merlot

Pancakes Barbara!

Signed photos of Vivian Vance.

The shop manager who always tries to cop a feel.

T-shirts reading, "I Was Going to Go to Another Gift Shop But Gary Morton Talked Me Out Of It."

Sleepover kits for when your neighbor's son is just too tired to go back to his own house. The standard kit includes toothbrush, toothpaste, a brush, razor and shaving cream, and a 6oz. bottle of lube. The luxury kit adds a small butt plug and upgraded lube.

Several GAP store CDs are available, including GAP: A NEW GROOVE by Madonna and Missy Elliott from July 2003!

The problem with the Datalounge gift shop is that every time you turn around they are restocking the shelves with old items from 2015!

Cans of Cake Frosting

R18 at least TRY to read the thread before posting, toots.

Cak.

Kirker's closed thrift store junk.

[quote] Cak.

Graxy.

"Quiter!" headstones designed by LittleRock.

In the Ladies Lingerie Department, Shitbras by Melissa Gilbert!

Erna and PPPSM friendship bracelets.

A book of poems by Russ to Libby.

Old people's excrement.

Unlike most shops, the DL Gift Shop proudly put all the porn in a tasteful display at the front. And with the four 80-inch screens playing demos all the time, you really get that homey feel.

The Best of Helen Lawson DVD set.

Plain white t-shirts. No logos, no writing, no images.

Still by Christopher Reeve

Vagina capes. Suitable for twirling.

Luke Evans Thirstade.

[quote] The Best of Helen Lawson DVD set.

After you listen to the one song, is the rest silence?

There should be a coffee bar attached, where B and C list celebrities read their poetry and answer questions.

[quote]Carol Channing corn cob holders

Hey nah, carn cab halders is MAH racket!

Video tape rentals. But only for Faye Dunaway so she can return mlvies via her trademarked honk-and-toss.

Grammar troll dolls.

Naya Rivera swim floaties.

A limited range of greeting cards, mainly limited to ones stating, "I Condole You."

Coming soon: A capsule collection of Tasteful Friends (TM) merch, including charcuterie boards, Italian pasta (not to be drained), and throw rugs made of the finest Persian wool to cover one's hardwood floors.

MissHelenBedd bedding collection.

The How to Win Friends and Influence People revised edition, now with a foreword by Meghan Markle.

SteveS porn.

Seeds for planting your own tree that you can watch grow.

Latinagirl soap box boxes!

[quote] Naya Rivera swim floaties.

Designed for brackish water.

NOODLES noodles.

Denny Scott photographs, suitable for framing.

New arrivals weekly in Madonna’s African Baby Boutique.

360 VR video of the Labia Lounge of an Olivia Cruise

Ramsey brand garottes.

Coffee mugs from old, failed soap operas like Passions and Texas.

A Circular Glass Refrigerated Display Case featuring a varied selection of nut loaf

And Max Gail will be at the grand opening!

And Max Grand will be sharing his opening -presenting hole to the first 100 customers!

What do you mean, you don’t carry Pepsi here? Don’t fuck with me, fellas!

“Tina, Bring Me the Axe” men’s cologne.

Once Around the Garden with Erna.....on an extra large Crop top T or Caftan

Be sure to pick up a copy of The Girl’s Guide to Tucking Your Dick by Caitlyn Jenner.

Cockgobbler Blow Up Dolls - Gobble Gobble

Julianne Moore. Seriously.

The Official Datalounge Cookbook

Every recipe that's been presented here over the years from Kwanzaa Cak to Cum Cookies!

Telephone dialer pencils encrusted with fake diamonds.

[quote] The Official Datalounge Cookbook

It's...it's a cookbook!

Sarah Jessica Parker horse shoes, with matching feed bags.

Dollar Tree pound cake!

Don't forget the loaded baked potato bar!

A coin-operated Sybian.

Helenesque

Playing in the front windows....

Chrissy Metz Snack Purses.

Chrissy Metz snack purses - METZ BAGZ - also available in 80's pastels and fluorescents

Bumper stickers

Many, many boxes of pron.

Some of it featuring Lens Dunham.

Reasonably priced pound cake

Dr. Dunaway's children's book - "Little Gay Boys"

Added store feature:

In store Loons who knock over your shopping cart and stomp on your items and insist that you like and only purchase things THEY like because your items are awful and they're never wrong and if you disagree they'll just put on disguise and return to torture you while the store manager does nothing except put a line through their name and gives them a new "funny" name indicating they're a naughty little loon.

Shitty Little Anne diapers

Is the Patsy Ramsey doll house complete add on basement still sold out?

Joey Luft's Bedazzled clothing line.

Available in one color.

Statement jewelry

Tub Girl Bath Bombs

Excuse me, are little boys’ pants half off today?

Lea Michele Air Freshener "Ripper Tripper"

Frozen turkey meatballs.

Pasta drainers.

Replicas of Glenn's Oscar.

Oh, wait.

Drawer opossums

Rock'em-Sock'em 'M' & 'G' Play Set!

Canes.

Buck Jarret Rule Book for Dummies

The complete line of Priss Pottery

Breakfast special on the mezzanine - non-event toast. Get it while it lasts!

Phone dialers

R102, are you also R9?

Blow-up fag hags.

Also paper cut-outs of straight female lurkers.

[quote] Blow-up fag hags.

That use to be my hobby, but I haven't done it since university.

Copious amounts of pot, silly

a take-out area featuring food from the Olive Garden

Sweater mugs for fibromyalgia sufferers

Postcards from the edge.

Suzanne Sommers' cum stained panties from that time I finger fucked her in the Bellagio fountains!

Two-handed cradle mugs.

Non-DLers would mistake them for cream soup bowls, r110.

A cloth bag, like a child would carry

Olivia de Havilland bobblehead dolls.

Jayne Mansfield's decapitated head!

Signed copies of "Fags I Have Known" by Lee Radziwill.

A Danny Thomas coffee table book.

[quote]Non-DLers would mistake them for cream soup bowls, [R110].

Why would Non-DLers be in the gift shop?

[quote]A mug with all the pussies of the Golden Girls displayed.

I don't remember ever having a cat.

[quote] Jayne Mansfield's decapitated head! —Too dark?

Not too dark. That's just the asphalt. It can be washed off.

A Red Weirdo vending machine.

The Amy Klobuchar Salad Comb Collection!

The Lucille Ball "Ya call this coffee?!!?" brewing station.

R100 every piece?

A link to why your pussy might stink. For Kellyanne, Kayleigh, Sarah McHuckleberries, et al.

One free to every customer!

Gwyneth Paltrow's freshly steamed vagina!

Antique fainting couches

You will find the overweight closeted cashier, who when you bring up your purchase to him, peers over his half-glasses and smirks, "Have you found a treasure?"

The Julia Sugarbaker Halloween Costume!

Highpoint coffee? That’s aisles 6, 7, and 8

Kathy cartoon PJs! (Sizes start at XXXXL and go up from there)

Mein Fuhrer mugs for the duplicate thread troll.

These od course...

Also a must for every DL-er

R130 We sell that in the Flavah Cafe, of course!

I'm the "𝑳𝒆𝒕'𝒔 𝒃𝒆..." board game.

I'm the DVD's of the hit series "Sumerian Housewives."

[Bold] "Hi Georgia" - The latest fragrance from, me!!!

[quote] I'm the DVD's of the hit series "Sumerian Housewives."

Farmwives!

Marriage certificates with the groom's name free for each DL-er to fill in and, of course, the bride's name is Judy Garland.

In addition to the large screens showing non-stop pron, there is another giant TV showing video clips from the original production of Follies. It cannot be turned off.

“Sir, where can I find this shirt?” “It’s next to the caftans and traffic cones!”

Joan Crawfords used douche bags.

Let's not forget all those great fridge magnets:

I BRAKE FOR PRON

I WANT CAK

MORE ICE

PRESENT HOLE

and the ever-popular

OH, DEAR!

Next to the double ended dildos and leather scented candles!

Danny Thomas Breakfast Tables. Smudge-Proof Glass Tops cost extra.

I understand that a man who used to park behind the story sold blow-up Muriel punching bags (the kind that would tip over and then right itself, rolling back up) but he disappeared around the time someone spilled those nasty organ meats off a truck or something back there.

They tried to hose it all down but you can still see the stains.

[quote] Danny Thomas Breakfast Tables. Smudge-Proof Glass Tops cost extra.

To complement the coffee table book at R116.

The Guess Your Age booth, where for just one quarter the magic mirror will swear you look ten years younger!

Signed posters of David Cassidy, Christopher Atkins and other teenage pinup boys of the 70s and 80s.

Tasteful Friends coffee table books

Remaindered copies of "How To Please A Woman"

Heavy duty plungers for those massive Kirker Klogs moments.

Plush versions of DL's mascot, Sir Hiss

A Datalounge original: The Eldergay Collection

A tasteful collection of items designed with our over-thirty members in mind. Our 2021 lineup includes CDs by Barbra, Bette, and Judy, DVDs of Bette Davis and Joan Crawford films, and our highest-quality caftans in sizes XXXL and up. We know how much our Eldergay customers value good service, so we have hired and trained exclusive sales consultants for this department.

I hope the shopping cart gave keyboards attached so shoppers can cry, "I'm shopping as I type!"

Senatrix brand nightwear

Autographed Brendad Ickson portraits

Lens Dunham's labia majora and minora plaster casting set. Bejeweling set sold separately.

Canned lard in case lube sells out

Refrigerator magnets featuring the best of Post Pictures of Hot Gay/Bi Guys

The Die in a Grease Fire cookbook

Coasters from Pimpernel with the Instaho of the week on them

Disco bisuts

[quote] Canned lard

That also describes many of the shoppers at the Datalounge Gift Shop.

R163 Indeed

The "White Me Are So Stupid" Collection - Mugs, Aprons, Refrigerator Magnets, Tee Shirts, Fanny Packs, and Other Decotive Items with the DL's Fave Expression of Contempt Towards.... Who Knows?

How to Develop a Sense of Humor (Special Lesbian Edition)

[quote] How to Develop a Sense of Humor (Special Lesbian Edition)

It gathers dust on the shelf.

"The [bold]Oh, Dear[/bold] Guide to Pre-Remedial English for the Illiterate, Stupid &/Or Lazy"

White belts in honor of White Belt Man

“Who’ll stop the rain” King Kong embroidered throw pillows.

Giant Duke’s Mayonnaise pop art posters.

“I like blue” t-shirts

[quote]Carol Channing corn cob holders

They're right next to the Ann Miller Cahrn Cob Holders.

Russian Troll Dolls that talk propaganda all the time every time. "Hi, I'm a life long Democrat but..."

In the Cookery Section of our Book Nook Shelves:

"10,001 Slow-Cooker Recipes for the Ignorant Non-Cook"

"Load Me Up - Fully: The DL Guide to Lesbian Baked Potato Wrangling & Heaping"

"The Surprise Anal Diet - Fresh and Ready to Serve"

"The Ragin' Vegan: Turn YOUR Fad Dietary Fantasies into Social Shaming Triumph"

"Fish 4 Pussies. Keeping Your Feline Fur Puff Fat & Full"

An array of cheap florescent lipstick from Lipstick Alley.

Tasteful Friends coffee table book.

Boxed Dump Cakes right next to the dump pies and dump casseroles.

The Book of EST audio edition.

Newest additions to the book department —

Who Was that Cunt? A Debra Messing Tell-All with a Forward by Megan Mullally

Fat Whores, Rejoice! More Recipes from the DL

[quote] Danny Thomas Breakfast Tables. Smudge-Proof Glass Tops cost extra.

And don't forget the "Make Boom for Daddy" DVDs.

Gelson's Potato Salad, served by Brendad Ickson.

[quote] And don't forget the "Make Boom for Daddy" DVDs.

That's what dad says when he's getting ready to stick his dick up my ass.

[quote] Gelson's Potato Salad, served by Brendad Ickson.

Gelson's Potatoe Salad

Fat Whores Rejoice! 101 Cheap and Easy Meals

R181 She's also writing a historical book about Pensalvina.

A Italian cook book titled: If you are rinsing your pasta, you're doing it wrong!

A Harrison if Lowe’s sex doll

*of

The all new DL line of scented sofa pillows. Ina Garten's fart pillows are our biggest seller!

I am really going to be needing a "Sure Jan" Refridgerator magnet when I tell myself I'm only going to have a small piece of cake.

Beef curtains! 100% polyester, meat patterned panels, sold in various sizes.

Do you have any Oriental children? Their little hands work best for our delicates.

Cathy Mitchell Dump Cookbooks box set.

R191 See R175

cookie scented candles, cookie scented car airfresheners, cookie shaped keychains. cookies

A never bought 30 minute Cameo session with Matt the Lange loon talking about his mussy and showing you clips and gifs from Jessica’s terrible movies. Everything is divine! Last chance at $1.50.

Feet?

Chatterbait Mouse pads.

Tuesdays are Senior Discount Day! After senior citizens are finished checking out, the cashiers enthusiastically exclaim, “See you next Tuesday!”

Have you seen this on Tik Tok? Watch this curated list of random favorites in the virtual center. Tuesday’s are. Analyze this Ass day (all ages welcome).

Tasteful Friends - a monthly periodical guaranteed to inspire the most discerning design enthusiasts. Available at the register as well as subscriptions available through Mediopolis.

All known intact and extant copies of “Call Me Bitch—The Unauthorized Autobiography of Helen Lawson” several with obscene handwritten inscriptions.

[quote] subscriptions available through Mediopolis.

There will invariably be glitches and/or duplicate charges.

Unfinished Manuscript of “If I Did It” by Mrs. Patsy Ramsey, formerly of Boulder CO.

Flowy Gucci Silk Shirts, but unfortunately they’re in aisle 8.

Aisle 8 is closed because we just straightened up the merchandise and can we keep things neat and orderly for just one goddamned fucking minute???? I swear in Europe people shop with their eyes and don’t have to molest every fucking thing. You could help out around here, you know.

Go outside to shop. Rain and snow aren’t for everyone, but they’re good for your specific complexion issues.

Reproductions of our famous sign:

Salesbottom Lounge—Staff and Tops Only

Hung Chinamen: A DL Pop-Up Book to prove the stereotype is not true

The Kaftko caftan line

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

Dangling Tendrils - 100% genuine organic mindful Korean hair enhancers

Hey R203, CLEAN UP IN AISLE 8! Someone just took a steamy dump under the end cap rack of Gucci gaucho trousers.

The Joe Manganiello date book - for all your scheduling needs

Oh look babe, penis extenders! Let’s get you one.

Didn't Michfest have a commissary called The Kuntry Store?

Items from Barbra Streisand’s mall.

Those are ALL Chinese repos, R213, and YOU know it.

"Anal Bleach is one sale in aisle one!" Announced over store intercom.

I know someone who bought something from the Datalounge Gift Shop. And then he died.

R15 --> R174

R151 --> R174

On the gift card carousel can be found pre-loaded gift cards for Once Around the Garden and Autumn Harvest.

Boxed VHS sets of The Golden Girls

Complete DVD collections of the P&G soaps.

Special limited edition of the Complete Guide to Bay Ridge Norwegian Catholics.

Coffeetable book of Tommy DiDario's Instagram photos and musings.

In which aisle is the Ann Miller "Hang in there Baby" Posters?

On sale now: tickets to the back room live sex show starring Dylan Geick and Micah Plath.

Ann Miller "Hang in there Baby" posters.

Hearing Aids? Or are they at the Datalounge Medical supply store?

The Gift Shop employees, in their uniforms.

An amazing selection of coloful dresses in Miss Lindsey's Vintage Boutique.

^colorful

Complimentary bread pudding, boxed up to-go, with every order over $100.00.

Not difficult to do since everything is overpriced anyway.

We do NOT carry food items in this establishment anymore, Aisle Shitter @ R231!!!!

This is why we don't let Shitty Little Ann in the store any more....

I actually know a Brooklyn born Norwegian-American Catholic, R222. They actually existed ! He's in his 70s now and I've never met another. The weirdest possible Catholic ethnicity and to think there was a apparently more than a few in a Brooklyn neighborhood at one point.

Thai Transparent Rice Noodles in our Oriental Section.

Multipurpose.

Rulers embossed with the word VERIFICATIA

Clutchable pearls

And this week's special in the snack bar: Sissy's Pizza Bread.

Earrings. Buy them to go with your caftans.

[quote]Buck Jarret

With an "Oh, Dear! Buck never would have spelled his name wrong." speech balloon coming out of Beth Jarret[bold]t[bold]'s mouth.

[/bold]cancel bold

R238 Oh, dear!

Multicolor wigs.

Wigs by Wundy - WUND IS LOVE!

The following books

Bisexuality doesn't exist.

Drop the T

Erna™ brand toilet bowl cleaners.

The EJ Dimera 13 x 8.5 dildo

For Master William and other hungry bottoms around the globe!

Director’s cut DVD set of The Sally Field Programme

Jon Hamm-cut trousers to enhance VPL

Sue Ellen Ewing line of decanters, flasks, and glassware

Frau-B-Gone spray, for when they just won't shut the fuck up!

One spray and your cubicle stays frau free for a month!

Use at home, work, in the grocery store or at Bath and Body Works! Fraus will instantly get a whiff of you and realize their emotional manipulations won't work, and will run off looking for another victim! No more "you're gay and single, you can totally stay late while I pick up Brittani from tuba practice!"

A "Sows At the Trough" jumbo-sized bib.

The “Ginny from Billing” Halloween costume always sells out fast

101 Recipes For Potato Salad

"The Cuisine of Flyoverstan: How To Recreate Your Favorite Chain Restaurant Recipes At Home"

Datalounge Cologne and Aftershave: The Signature Scent For Confirmed Bachelors!

Not for sale is the sign on the door:

"No shopping between certain hours unless you pay the girl at the register cash upfront. And no, we are not going to tell you what those hours will be."

That's perfect R252

Well done.

Woody and Mia and Family ragdolls. Collect the complete set!

You can always find Cheese Puffs in our Michfest Memories aisle, along with U-Go-Gurl urinals, Brother Sun t-shirts, vagina capes, and Squirrels = Death bumper stickers.

Crafting!!

Celebrity autographed photos!!

More Lysol and toilet paper than you can EVER use, an endless supply!!

My upside down pineapple cake!

State your boundaries!! Complete sets, all FULLY adjustable - in the Sporting Goods Department!!

259 Posts Later , Again I have to pick up the slack, you bitches are slipping ....

To contend with the COVID 30 lb weight gain and consumption of the Dollar Tree Pound Cake

Linsey Graham's face mask.

And our special Sarah Jessica Parker bridal and tack clothing line, for the gal who likes to GALLOP around!

The Fisher-Price See and Say For Young Gentlemen Who Dial The Phone With A Pencil

Including the new Adrian Leeds version!

Pull the cord and hear Adrian's special messages!

"You're in Paris, you don't need a huge refrigerator, you fat whore! Go to the market every day and get what you need!"

Mandatory anal cavity inspection upon entering and leaving the store.

The Ladybug night light in our Senatrice line.

For those times when you have a prostate flare at 3AM and need to find your way to the bathroom without waking your rentboy...er, gentleman caller!

Towel sets for the Towel Dance!

Listen and listen well.

All customers must purchase hospital slippers to enter the premises. Leave your shit-covered togs outside. We will NOT be held responsible for theft or vandalism of your footwear.

Aisle 8 is open. Don’t swing your hips, BILL, and keep your hands to yourself.

Nancy Drew board game. Pooch not included.

The Linda Lavin musical key chain. For the eldergay that lost his keys, just snap your fingers and it sings "BOPPITY BOP!"

You can also alternate the phrase to say "TAHW-MMY!"

[quote] Pooch not included.

Asta?

If you can't find what you were looking for, just ask our sales associate, JIMMMAAYYYY!!!

We now have a scale model of Jasmine Guy’s house. The Kirstie Alley action figure with ham tied to a string is sold separately.

In other totally unrelated news, NO, we don’t carry and never will carry MacKenzie-Childs. You need to grow the fuck up.

Because we have so many beautiful, tasteful things in our Gift Shoppe there has been an alarming rise in shoplifting! The young man below was caught with nearly $3,000 worth of merchandise on his way out the door! Naturally, our crack security team escorted him to the back and did a thorough cavity search. You never heard such a shouting match! The young man claimed they had no evidence on which to hold him, and he was going to sue for false arrest! The security team denied they had done anything improper. When the police finally arrived, the whole store could hear the repeated shouts of, "Pics or it didn't happen!"

"As I just told you, we don't have any toilets. We just have Erna."

[quote] Naturally, our crack security team escorted him to the back

Crack being the operative word.

When Everyone’s Desperately Trying to See My Weenie: A Towel Dancer Locker Room Starter Kit

Cookies air refresher, that way everyone will smell cookies, not just you!

House with Bai Ling on the roof

Everyone Wants to See My Weenie - A Beginner’s Guide to Towel Dancing

On our special Let's Be... days we offer a 5% discount to all customers who participate in the daily theme! By popular demand, our "Let's Be an Insta-Whore Mondays" have been extended to include Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays.

[quote]Leave your shit-covered togs outside.

OMG -- people have to leave their clothes outside? Do you really want Dataloungers to shop in the altogether? Have you SEEN some of them?

For R275: Exclusive hidden-camera footage from the back room.

An exclusive deal for our One Day at a Time DL customers for a limited time only:

A Lock of Bonnie Franklin's pubic hair! Carefully obtained from one of Bonnie's dirty leotards and replicated using state-of-the-art cloning technology, a lock of Bonnie's cherry red pubes can be yours for only $9.95! Whether you keep it close to your heart in a locket or braid it into your own pubes for that on-the-go trip to the mall or the beach, Bonnie's pubes are yours!

And if you call in the next 10 minutes, we'll give you an additional gift of an authentic Mackenzie Phillips autographed and hand painted coke spoon! Mackenzie is using DL as her exclusive distributor of these one-of-a-kind coke spoons. Your friends and relatives will be envious!

Call now 1-555-BAR-BARA, operators are standing by. Shipping and handling costs are $39.95 within the continental United States; Alaska, Hawaii, and American Samoa are $59.95.

What are you waiting for? Change your life today, DLers!

For 5 dollars I'll put on an Ann Romano wig and slap you!

Susan Dey's condolences cameo! - Coming Soon!

[quote] Susan Dey's condolences cameo! - Coming Soon!

She's also selling plain white t-shirts. No logos, no writing, no images at R39.

Lens Dunham signature pebbles

“Hold Me, David” Snuggie blankets are back in stock!

Shit bras, aisle 2.

R291, is aisle 2 in the In the Ladies Lingerie Department at R33?

No. Our shitbras are weapons, not lingerie.

Deidre Hall’s full line of Awareness Ribbons, in blue, pink, yellow...no, not red.

Red Weirdos.

And the Crabwalking toy

[quote] Red Weirdos.

Fortunately the store has the vending machine for it at R120.

Tattoo removal kit (no guarantees if it works or not - Not Returnable)

Just in: DAT's DA SUCK JOB! t-shirts and fridge magnets!

Aaaiiiyeee! The Complete Wit and Wisdom of The Homosex Troll

Also just in, by popular demand: "OH FANK YOU! You fixded my cheeseburger!” grilling aprons. Available in all sizes and hem lengths.

Snack purses

[quote] Snack purses

R301, I will only buy them if they are Chrissy Metz brand snack purses as seen at R80/R81.

Dart Boards featuring all your favorite OUT GAY male stars and politicians

* Dan Levy

* Zach Quinto

* Lee Pace

* Matt Bomer

* Andew Rannells

* Neil Patrick Harris

* Billy Eichner

* Jim Parsons

* Luke Evans

* Jonathan Groff

* Russell Tovey

* Jonathan Bennett

* Frankie Grande

* Pete Buttigieg

* Chasten Buttigieg

* Brian Simms

* Sean Patrick Maloney

[italic] Also available as voodoo dolls

"No we don't have eldergay hours or discounts, but we are open on Sunday nights exclusively for sex addicts and whores to shop."

Trivial Pursuit 80s Edition

Where's Andy Cohen, R303?

R306, they’re having trouble getting the eyes right

A full line of Brian Sims Wear

Jockstraps, harness, and buttplug

Special in the As Seen on TV section -- 10-week acting course taught by DL's favorite Smell The Fart actor Drake Hogestyn, with special assist from Ronn Moss.

R244 is MEK still devastated but turning heartbreak into commerce with a best selling item.

The new Bert Bauer's Good Leg line of prosthetics.

Bryan Singer's Baby Sitting Guide

Total sensory deprivation and back-up drugs.

Are we out of Lisa Beemer’s Let’s Roll! ™ Cinnamon Rolls?

Meghan Markle crying towels

Cathy Z Jones' "Z Youth Cosmetics"

Coke Spoons

Now, Voyager - The Unabridged Script

** Rulers embossed with the word VERIFICATIA**

Genius. WANT.

Just in: Autographed copies of "The Joy of Vicious Face Slapping" by Anonymous (the sequel to his 2015 DL best-seller, "The Joy of Face Slapping").

[quote] I for one cannot imagine wanting there to be MORE humans on this planet. There are already way, way too many. More abortions, please.

Completely agree.

A 🛎 shaped toy that plays the corresponding theme song version of Alice depending on how many times you hit the button (press one time for season 1 version), etc.

R322, is that sold along with the The Linda Lavin musical key chain at R271?

The Max Gail bulge poster and ass poster will far outsell the Farrah poster!

Coming soon: The lifelike Max dildo.....

The household contents of the girl I knew who posted to Datalounge. But then she died.

Book an hour in the Interior Delusions Lounge and watch gay men of all ages argue their opinions about which actresses they consider beautiful and talented. Available 24 hours a day.

OP’s stuff.

IPODS with the best selection of music for those last minutes of life.

Joel purity rings are available at the checkout counter by the other impulse buys.

These T-shirts.

The quote is “You ARE a whore, darlin.’”

“This is not a Bed & Breakfast” doormats.

A collection of Tasteful Friends note cards and stationery featuring only The Best images from our many threads.

[quote]Meghan Markle crying towels

R315, they're called "Duchess Success Boo Hoo Do Rags."

$650 for small, $1,150 for the full Queen-Size Full-Victim version.

Hot off the presses: The Troll Handbook

How to start stupid threads about cartoons and royals to scare people away from Datalounge.

Only in the Datalounge Gift Shoppe, a special blend of Formula-409, guaranteed to clean up any nacreaous layer of permacum.

Gin, despair and regret now available in value sized party buckets.

Why would you want to “clean up” a nacreous layer of permacum?

Latest edition to the DL bookshelf:

The Eldergay's Guide to Group Sex: From Orgy Etiquette to Removing Santorum from Furniture -Everything you always wanted to know but were afraid to ask on Datalounge because , well, you know...

pre-autographed copies

Barbara Perkins photos of the world can be yours for a reasonable price.

R341

Tony Parkins would like his "e" back.

Mushroom spores

Are they for a grow-your-own-Trump-dildo, R343?

The "Princess Diana Death Scream" Maxi Single by Junior Vasquez

NEW: The DEAD TO ME Game!

Recreate all the excitement of Datalounge offline with your very own DEAD TO ME board game. Players trade celebrity death cards which contain revealing photos of DL favorites, place bets in the Celebrity Death Pool, and battle over who started the first thread. Steal another player's DTM thread by dreaming up impossible stories of how you had sex with the late celeb!Earn bonus points by being the first to cry out, "So young!" It's fun for (presenting) hole family!

The Countess De Lave's Bromide Infused Gin.

Just in: 2020/21 Olympic Souvenirs!

Autographed glossy pics of Pita Taufatofua are on sale for $50 (tracksuit) and $150 (shirtless and oiled up). The gift shop is negotiating with him to do an in-person signing after the closing ceremony. Unfortunately, the air tickets are so expensive they may not have sufficient money for a hotel for him. Anyone able to put him up at their place for a few days please let us know!

The Handy -- An Internet-enabled masturbation machine.

Every item with the name Carol on it is now on clearance: 80% off!

Just in time for your early Christmas shopping! THE Helen Lawson has found a brand-new way to sell her... services. For $5,000 she will approach the person of your choice, shout "FUCK YOU!" and kick them in the cunt bone. Appointments are limited, and the purchaser is responsible for any necessary airfare.

The official Helen Lawson ping-pong balls are selling well. They're going faster than the Vairst Letty model from last year.

Don't forget to pick up a box of loving and compassionate Susan Dey condolence and sympathy cards. When you care to only acknowledge those selected few dearly departed.

FLASH SALE ***** FLASH SALE ***** FLASH SALE ***** FLASH SALE

Only Fans Subscription Gift Cards -75% off!! Hurry -These won't last long!

omg I have no idea how I missed this thread

surely someone has mentioned Helenesque?

I bought some of those, r353...and they're blank!

From our holiday boutique, Bernice Clifton Tree Skirts.

Limited edition slogan shirts reading, 'Onlyfans is DEAD to me!', as always super comfy and available in sizes XXXL and up!

Afraid those have been discontinued, R358. But we do have Ed Asner is DEAD to me! shirts coming in next week.

And these just came in, R358.

I want to be the salesbottom who works the register so I can say "Have you found a [italic]treasure?[italic]" when each of these purchases are brought to me.

Limited Edition Criterion Collection box set of the DataLounge Essentials:

The Birds

The Boys In The Band

Fatal Attraction

The Exorcist

Meet Me In St. Louis

Ordinary People

Peyton Place

The Shining

The Valley Of The Dolls

Whatever Happened To Baby Jane

On the "90% Off: MUST GO" shelf:

Chasten Buttigieg's autobiography

Madonna's "Sex ... After Sixty" photobook sequel

"My True Hidden Hollywood Story 3: Silence of the Bells" by Brendad Ickson

Audrey-esque cigarette/reefer holder.

Silver, covered serving dish with glass insert.

"Oh Blanche, you know we got rats in the cellar?"

Yours in 4 easy payments: a complete VHS box set of the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame Induction Ceremonies

At first glance, I read that thread title as, '𝐍𝐨𝐰 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐃𝐚𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐞 𝑮𝒓𝒊𝒇𝒕 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐩.'

Excuse me, My husband is looking for a Sarong.

Playing on screens around the store are episodes of What’s My Line on a loop.