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“OH FANK YOU! You fixded my cheeseburger!”

Cubefrau forwarded this in an email to the entire office.

-- I want to share the experience that my husband, 7 year old autistic sister and I had today at the Chili’s location in Midvale, UT. Arianna, my little sister, didn’t waste any time when our waitress, Lauren, greeted us at our table. Arianna promptly ordered her cheeseburger with pickles, french fries, and chocolate milk before Lauren could even take our drink order. Lauren smiled and told Arianna, “Okay! I’ll be right back with your chocolate milk!”. When we got our food I was wondering why Arianna wouldn’t touch her cheeseburger, but was going to town on her french fries. I asked her, “Arianna are you going to eat your cheeseburger?” She calmly said, “No, I don’t want it.” Cheeseburgers, or ‘Krabby Patties’ as we sometimes call them, are her FAVORITE! So this behavior was VERY strange. So I asked her, “Why don’t you want it?”. She replied, “It’s broken. I need another one thats fixed.” Then it dawned on me why she wasn’t eating it. It’s because it was cut in half. Being a child with autism, she has to have certain things in a particular order at all times. One slight change in her routine can change the course of the day instantly.

When Lauren came back to check on us, I asked if we could order another cheeseburger and just add it to our check. She had a concerned look on her face so I explained that Arianna has autism, and that in her mind, because the cheeseburger was cut in half, she thinks its broken and can’t eat it. I told Lauren I knew it sounded silly, but if we could just order an additional one we will gladly pay for it because there was nothing wrong with the one that was originally brought out.

Lauren was so sweet and just smiled and went along with Arianna, telling her “I brought you a broken cheeseburger?! You know what, I’ll have them cook you a new one!” I loved this because rather than just taking it from the table, she actually TOLD Arianna what she was doing. While this seems insignificant, by her telling Arianna what she was doing, we avoided a melt down. The manager, Bradley Cottermole, then came to our table, kneeled down, and said to Arianna, “I heard we gave you a broken cheeseburger! I am so sorry about that! We are making you a brand new one that isn’t broken, with pickles! I’ll bring you some french fries to munch on while you’re waiting, ok?” A couple of minutes later, Lauren arrived back at our table with cheeseburger #2. Arianna said, “OH FANK YOU! You fixded my cheeseburger!” When Lauren walked away, Arianna just sat there for a second and looked at her new burger. She looked like so deep in thought....just staring at it....then she let out a big ”OH I missed you!!” and started kissing the burger over and over again. I showed Lauren this picture and said, “I think we glorified the cheeseburger too much!” She busted up laughing, and asked if she could go show her manager. She came back a minute later and said she showed everyone in the back kitchen area too, and that it made them all laugh and smile. I was so touched by this experience. Especially since I know people who have been asked to leave restaurants when their child with autism is being disruptive.

by Anonymousreply 24403/05/2016


by Anonymousreply 103/25/2013

Sweet story!

Hopefully she typed that up on break, though.

by Anonymousreply 203/25/2013

'pank me, Momma! 'pank me!

by Anonymousreply 603/25/2013

Just to clarlfy: this didn't happen to Cubefrau; she was forwarding it as a "To brighten your day" sort of item, and it had already been forwarded three or four times.

by Anonymousreply 1103/25/2013

R8, you must not have been around many autistic children.

If she tried to make that kid way the cheeseburger, it would end with everyone's food on the floor, a screaming/shaking child throwing feces at the other patrons. Lol

by Anonymousreply 1203/25/2013

OP/R11 - okay, I take back my sweet comment. That shit is just annoying then.

by Anonymousreply 1303/25/2013

Cute story, but I think that it was invented or a mixture of stories.

by Anonymousreply 1403/25/2013

Hmm. I Googled the phrase and found this story repeated endlessly all over the Chili's Facebook page.

My God, that page is Land of the Fraus.

by Anonymousreply 1703/25/2013

This. Never. Happened.

by Anonymousreply 1903/25/2013

Oh, this saccharine sweet shit is a load of bull hockey. It has got to be an urban legend. It sounds very similar to those "Unless cancer-plagued little Timmy gets 30,000 emails in the next seven days, Jeebus will turn off his little ticker and take him up to heaven!" Like I give a shit, bitch! He's *your* all-powerful, invisible friend: why should I give a fuck about his juvenile extortion schemes?

This sappy claptrap is the same sort of shit that is invented by freepers, you know: the people who came up with "Deviant Lifestyle Choice," "Family Values," and "Freedom Fries." Lovin' spoonfuls of wholesome horseshit served up fresh for your schmaltzy, feel good 30 seconds.

by Anonymousreply 2003/25/2013

Oh brother!

by Anonymousreply 2103/25/2013

I fink I frow up.

by Anonymousreply 2203/25/2013

Newsflash, OP: This did not brighten my day.

At all.

by Anonymousreply 2303/25/2013

This just in, and what a sad tale it is: Arianna died when she bit into her cheeseburger and a scorpion slithered into her mouth. Her mouth was "fixded" in a gruesome position for hours before she finally expired... Muscle toxins have that effect on the greedy. Back to you, Ken.

by Anonymousreply 2403/25/2013

Unless it's written by Mark Twain, I can't bear reading dialect.

by Anonymousreply 2603/25/2013

Harrrumph. Cute story, cute kid -- blah-blah-blahbitty-blah. Why someone thinks the whole damned office needs to read this is just beyond me. Ain't nobody got time for this in the workplace! Plus, it's like someone foisting their favorite song on you -- you feel like a shit if you don't stand there and listen to the crap. This is interminable. I hit delete on anything that goes on this long that isn't something I really need to read. What's next? 500 pictures of her weekend in Scranton?!

by Anonymousreply 2703/25/2013


by Anonymousreply 2803/25/2013

[quote]“OH FANK YOU! You fixded my nutloaf!” -- Overheard at MichFest

I die laughing then wondered if MichFesters ever express gratitude. There's not much of it.

by Anonymousreply 2903/25/2013

I wonder how long it will be until my "tetched" brother-in-law emails this too me? You know the type--every family has one--the people who send you the latest virus warning ("As reported on CNN!), or the image of Christ found in a puddle of gravy, or the latest Fox conspiracy about President Obama.


by Anonymousreply 3003/25/2013

[quote]Arianna just sat there for a second and looked at her new burger. She looked like so deep in thought....just staring at it....then she let out a big ”OH I missed you!!” and started kissing the burger over and over again.

Which is what she does with every item in the house each time they come back from dinner.

by Anonymousreply 3103/25/2013

I wish people would go back to writing private thank you letters to staff to show appreciation rather than turning everything into glurge for the masses on social media to coo over and share.

by Anonymousreply 3203/25/2013

[quote]OH FANK YOU! You fixded my cheeseburger

Do autistic children usually have such peonounced speech impediments (pronouncing "TH" as "F") or such poor grasp of grammar ("fixded" for "fixed")?

Is this child autistic or mentally challenged?

by Anonymousreply 3303/25/2013

We should mandate that all ESTs undergo mandatory writing classes.

by Anonymousreply 3403/25/2013

What a load of shit.

by Anonymousreply 3503/25/2013

OH FANK YOU! You giveded me Oscar!

by Anonymousreply 3603/25/2013


sounds like Adele

by Anonymousreply 3703/25/2013

Oh, thank you. You fixed my overdoing it at dinner by stimulating me to vomit explosively.

"Autistic" children do not present this way. The mother of a child on the autism spectrum, even (or especially) of the Christian/cubefrau type would be precise about the fact that the child is low on the spectrum, and say "Asberger," even if it opened the chance for jokes considering the topic of the anecdote.

by Anonymousreply 3803/25/2013

My FB feed is starting to show posts about a crash where a crotchrocket landed completely inside of a car and three people were killed. The meme is "cellphones and cars KILL!"

Snopes says yes, the accident happened but no cellphones were involved.

by Anonymousreply 3903/25/2013

What a heartwarming story!

by Anonymousreply 4003/25/2013

It is a sweet story that may have a little bit of truth, but I still call bullshit.

I hate these emails that make the rounds of cube land. I think a coworker did a forward of this same story to our office. I delete everything she sends without opening it, but seems familiar. She is the only person at work who sends around these "feel good" or "cautionary" emails. Not only does she send them to our office, but company wide as well. Last week it was one of those "warnings" to watch out for cars flashing headlights, because it is gangs who are going to kill you, or rape you or something.

No one says anything to her because she has been there over 40 years and is kind of sad. Oh and all HER EMAILS ARE IN ALL CAPS.

by Anonymousreply 4103/25/2013

while this may be heartwarming and all I wonder what happened to the broken cheeseburger? I hope someone ate it and didn't throw it in the trash.

How was the waitress supposed to know the kid did't like her cheesburger cut in half? Good thing the mother offered to pay for the second one. I was half expecting her to expect a second free cheeseburger.

by Anonymousreply 4203/25/2013

Does cubefrau momma have that tender to the touch disease?

by Anonymousreply 4303/25/2013

Tonstant Weader fwowed up.

by Anonymousreply 4503/26/2013

I hope some DLer orders a cheeseburger, does the exact same thing and reports back.

by Anonymousreply 4603/26/2013

I'm a teacher and it seems as though it won't be long before EVERY child has some form of autism. There are so many at my school it's become normal. For some, the parents have given in so much that the kids refuse to accept or do anything they don't want to do. The moms, and THE KIDS, say, "It's autism, that's why," when in fact, the parents have taken the easy way out and given in on everything. A handful of the autistic kids are the most manipulative students I've ever encountered. Some of it has to be learned behavior combined with bad/lazy parenting.

by Anonymousreply 4703/26/2013

LOL @ R45

So, apparently autistic kids can haz cheezburger.

by Anonymousreply 4803/26/2013

Thank you to all you ignorant assholes that are making fun of Arianna and assuming things you could not possibly know. I am sorry that something that people find uplifting causes you all to shove a stick up your asses.

This little girl is my daughter. While she does have behavior problems, she is being worked on with it and improving every day. You do not know nor understand the situation so you are all displaying your ignorance quite well. She was born with a genetic defect that caused her heart to be deformed. Other things that were linked to it are down syndrome and severed physical deformities. We got incredibly lucky that her heart was able to be operated on and fixed when she was a year and a half old. Before her autism was diagnosed she had severe behavioral issues and was very late to talk. Her being where she is today is because of great leaps and bounds from her family.

You don't have to like the story but for those of you that chose to vent your aggravation at this by making fun of her have a special place in hell. She didn't chose to be the way she is but you certainly chose to be disgusting assholes and display your own obvious ignorance and lack of manners by choosing to say such disgusting and hateful things about a 7 year old girl. Good job!

by Anonymousreply 4903/26/2013

Oh my god r47, I feel for you. You just reminded me of my sister, the high school teacher, she has a few special ed kids. One was this weird girl who was really anti-social so I'm sure she had Asperger's or whatever. I guess she stabbed another kid in the hand with scissors or something and her dad came in to talk to my sis and said something like, "You know they just don't understand Jane. When we look at her we see a beautiful, troubled girl. But they just see a freak." or something like that. And sis was just going along with him but told me the chick was greasy haired and always wore a satin jacket and not a"beautiful, troubled girl".

by Anonymousreply 5003/26/2013

If you imagine "Amanda" being played by Patti Lupone, it makes her rant even funnier.

by Anonymousreply 5103/26/2013

R49 Amanda? This Amanda?

by Anonymousreply 5203/26/2013

Reddit posted it

by Anonymousreply 5303/26/2013

r10, my question is why did OP, feel the need to share this with all of us.

by Anonymousreply 5403/26/2013

What happens when Arianna isn't a cute 7 y/o anymore? Does Chili's throw a party for every autistic adult who acts out too? Do those 'heartwarming' stories go viral?

by Anonymousreply 5503/26/2013

Amongst all the hyperbole, I just wanted to say this thread is better off without photos. Wow, a first for everything.

by Anonymousreply 5603/26/2013

That's weird that the chick in the story is old enough to be married (though it's UT so she's probably still young) and has a seven year old sister. Maybe the kid is autistic because her mom was so old.

by Anonymousreply 5703/26/2013

This autism shit is getting out of control.

by Anonymousreply 5803/26/2013

Oh, your cheeseburger is broken, huh? Your cheeseburger is broken? Well that's too freaking bad! You hear me? I'll tell you where you can put your freaking cheeseburger too!

by Anonymousreply 5903/26/2013

Wouldn't a severely autistic child freak out anyway rather than have her whole 'situation' with a cheeseburger explained to her?

Expect to see her on My Super Sweet 16 years from now, her day 'ruined'.

by Anonymousreply 6003/26/2013

Amanda, you sound as autistic as Arianna. Well at least we know where the genetic abnormalities come from.

by Anonymousreply 6103/26/2013

R61 well Fanks bizxh just Fanks.

by Anonymousreply 6203/26/2013

r63 Jan-Bot needs her puter fixded..

by Anonymousreply 6403/26/2013

Now THAT'S what REAL autism looks like, at R63.

by Anonymousreply 6503/26/2013

LOL @ R65.

by Anonymousreply 6603/26/2013


by Anonymousreply 6703/26/2013


by Anonymousreply 6803/26/2013

This thread is great!

I have been laughing since yesterday -- thank you DL wits!

by Anonymousreply 6903/26/2013

Thame on evewyone foh making fun of thpeech impedimenth. You thould FANK God evewy day if you awe not infwicted wiff thif thort of thuffering!

by Anonymousreply 7003/26/2013

Whoever wrote this completely fictitious glurge doesn't know the first thing about autism, the food service industry, or cheeseburgers.

by Anonymousreply 7103/26/2013


by Anonymousreply 7203/26/2013

This never happened.

Christ you bitches are gullible.

by Anonymousreply 7303/26/2013

[quote]DataLounge get your fix of gay gossip, news and pointless bitchery.

Webby, isn't it long past the time to remove that no-longer-relevant slogan from this lame frau fest of a board?

by Anonymousreply 7403/26/2013

R73, about 99% of the thread agrees with you, moron.

by Anonymousreply 7503/26/2013

Why is she letting her kid eat meat in the first place? The hormones and drugs in meat is what makes kids autistic in the first place.

by Anonymousreply 7603/26/2013

Meanwhile, how much tip did they leave?

by Anonymousreply 7703/26/2013

I do NOT have autithm!!

by Anonymousreply 7803/26/2013

Kising cheeseburger is creepier than kissing doll.

by Anonymousreply 7903/26/2013

It's the chemical processed "cheeze" that causes autism.

by Anonymousreply 8003/26/2013


by Anonymousreply 8103/26/2013

R49 forgot to close with "Yours in Christian love,"

by Anonymousreply 8203/26/2013

Is Amanda real?

by Anonymousreply 8303/26/2013

The only threads that brighten R23's day are the Dead Bodies on Mount Everest and More Dead Bodies on Mount Everest.

by Anonymousreply 8403/26/2013

Doesn't sound the least bit autistic.

by Anonymousreply 8503/26/2013

I wish Ricky Gervais had been there

by Anonymousreply 8603/26/2013

Taking an autistic kid to Chili's should qualify one for a visit from the authorities.

by Anonymousreply 8703/26/2013

No shit, R74.

by Anonymousreply 8803/26/2013

Free Parenting Tip:

Any child who won't eat a cheeseburger, cut or not, is not at all hungry.

Stop shoving food down children's throats.

by Anonymousreply 8903/26/2013

Who cuts a burger in half anyway? How do you pick it up to eat as a sandwich in halves? Kids don't eat burgers with a knife & fork.

by Anonymousreply 9103/26/2013


by Anonymousreply 9203/26/2013

This subjecy line pisses me off every time I see it. So, FANKS.

by Anonymousreply 9303/26/2013



by Anonymousreply 9403/26/2013

If your kid can't handle any sort of change or disruption to their day... doesn't it make sense to start working on that ASAP? Why are parents indulging this shit for grade-school aged kids? Do they think the world is going to fall in line for their kid for their entire life?

These parents sure aren't doing their kids any favors indulging this nonsense. Tell the kid to eat her "broken cheeseburger," because it's the first of many she'll be eating in her life.

by Anonymousreply 9503/26/2013

“OH FANK YOU! You fixded my dog! Now he doesn't hump me no more!”

by Anonymousreply 9603/26/2013

Been laughing a lot at this post, especially R47. FANKS

by Anonymousreply 9703/26/2013

Do you not know what autism is R95?

by Anonymousreply 9803/26/2013

If this happened, it happened in a very small town in the Midwest. I just can't see it happening anywhere else.

I can believe that there was an autistic child and the broken cheeseburger and the nice waitress. However, the owner coming out and the sharing of the photos to the staff is over-the-top and unbelievable any place other than a small close-knit town where things like this sometimes do happen.

by Anonymousreply 9903/26/2013

Why are gay men the biggest whiners about child rearing? Shouldn't the complaints be directed toward iVillage?

by Anonymousreply 10003/26/2013

Oh, FANK YOU! You fixded my caftan!

by Anonymousreply 10103/26/2013

I do know what autism is, R98. My niece is autistic and my sister never indulged this whole "she can't handle the slightest change in her routine!!1" nonsense. Now she's in grade school and able to cope with disruptions almost as well as "normal" kids.

by Anonymousreply 10203/26/2013

[quote] isn't it long past the time to remove that no-longer-relevant slogan from this lame frau fest of a board?

You can thank the soap opera threads.

by Anonymousreply 10303/26/2013

Keep caving into her unrealistic demands. Why should she ever learn how the world really works? Why should anyone ever say "no" to her? No one will think a 30 year-old sending back a broken burger will be cute. I'm also of the opinion that such children should not be brought to restaurants, movies etc unless their social skills are appropriate to that venue. If she has food issues, restaurants aren't ideal. I'm pretty much over this whole spectrum thing, it seems to be an epidemic among flyover fraus.

by Anonymousreply 10403/26/2013

Restaurants and movies theaters are public spaces where if you pay, you're entitled to be there. The parents of autistic children pay to be there and they are as much a part of the public as you are r104. You do not get to determine who can and can't sit next to you.

Autism is very much real and affects men as well. After all, you need a man and woman to create a child. It is not a "flyover fraus" imagined epidemic. What is it in our environment or gene pool that has led to a greater number of children born with this disease? It is in society's best interest that we do not castigate children with forms of mental illness. Neither they nor their parents chose this disease.

by Anonymousreply 10503/26/2013

My "Aspergers-y" niece cried once when my mom made her a pancake in the shape of a rabbit. Niece couldn't bring herself to cut off the ears and eat them. But she was about 6 at the time, and not in a public restaurant.

by Anonymousreply 10603/26/2013

Older fathers

by Anonymousreply 10703/26/2013

"Older fathers" -- definitely true in my niece's case

by Anonymousreply 10803/26/2013

Sorry but I'd try very hard to teach my child how to adjust to the world, instead of letting her think the world would adjust to her.

by Anonymousreply 10903/26/2013

[quote]Keep caving into her unrealistic demands. Why should she ever learn how the world really works? Why should anyone ever say "no" to her? No one will think a 30 year-old sending back a broken burger will be cute. I'm also of the opinion that such children should not be brought to restaurants, movies etc unless their social skills are appropriate to that venue. If she has food issues, restaurants aren't ideal. I'm pretty much over this whole spectrum thing, it seems to be an epidemic among flyover fraus.

besides, eating a sandwich whole is disgusting, it should always be cut in half.

by Anonymousreply 11003/26/2013

r109 do you even have an Autistic child? How can you talk hypothetically what you can teach when you have never experienced a child with one?

When someone has cancer, there is no doubt that person is ill. When someone has a form of mental illness, many in society act as though they can just "think" their way out of it; or an Autistic child merely needs to be taught to behave and then s/he can be "normal" in public. It doesn't work that way.

If only it were that easy. They are wired differently. What's normal and rational behavior to you is something many of them can not do. If it were possible, it would save many parents grief and aggravation and scorn from people like you.

by Anonymousreply 11103/26/2013

What does the kid do after taking a bite out of it? cry that it is broken again? Sorry, but this is ridiculous.

by Anonymousreply 11303/26/2013

Here's the kind of shit a Fraubook friend of mine posts:

Like if you or someone you know has a child with autism!

We don't want your pity.

We don't need your sighs and groans if we take our child out in public.

We don't think you understand what we're going through even though you say you do.

It's not helpful to tell me about your sisters neighbors autistic child.

No we don't think you can take him/her to play, any disruption in activity leads to problems. Thanks though.

etc etc and it goes on and on. It's a mystery what they DO want.

by Anonymousreply 11403/26/2013

R105, please fuck right off.

[quote]Restaurants and movies theaters are public spaces where if you pay, you're entitled to be there. The parents of autistic children pay to be there and they are as much a part of the public as you are [R104]. You do not get to determine who can and can't sit next to you.

Actually, we do get to determine who can and cannot sit next to us. Paying for a meal in a pubic restaurant does not give you, or anyone else, the right to annoy, disrupt and antagonize other diners.

Your right to be in a public place ends the second you interfere with the peaceful enjoyment of that public place by someone else.

I have no idea what sort of people raised you to believe that you have no social responsibilities to those around you but they were wrong.

by Anonymousreply 11503/26/2013

That's pretty bitchy r114, especially this part:

"It's not helpful to tell me about your sisters neighbors autistic child."

"No we don't think you can take him/her to play, any disruption in activity leads to problems. Thanks though."

Considering one would only do this to try and relate to the person and let them know they have dealt with autism before and would like to help. So what would she like, then? Just approach her on bended knee without talking or making eye contact? And absolutely no try at inclusion with our child through a play date? Ok. I get it, thanks.

by Anonymousreply 11603/26/2013

R69 Here, here.

by Anonymousreply 11903/26/2013

R19 is right. This story stinks of magical thinking. Wouldn't it be nice if....

by Anonymousreply 12003/26/2013

Cheeseburger will stop the rain...

by Anonymousreply 12103/26/2013


by Anonymousreply 12203/26/2013

R106, it always made me sad to eat my chocolate bunny at Easter & I'm "normal", except for being so soft hearted about animals. I did manage to force it down every year, crying as I chewed -- but I moved on to chocolate eggs instead when I grew up.

by Anonymousreply 12303/26/2013

r118: You are nuts, lady. Loathe people like you.

by Anonymousreply 12403/26/2013

R118, your reasoning hardly merits the word. People do not only go out to restaurants for the food--they go out for the social setting and often as a way to celebrate special occasions...and conversation in a genial, calm, quiet atmosphere is central to celebration. If your child is disrupting that for those around you, you should leave. Period.

by Anonymousreply 12503/26/2013

While were on the subject of mental disorders...

Why is this new autism occurring so much? is it the Monsanto effect?

by Anonymousreply 12603/26/2013

And suppose a family with an autistic child is going out to a restaurant to celebrate a birthday... doesn't your rule also apply to them?

What is your expectation if families with a child with a form of mental illness? That they never be seen or heard from? Thank goodness other people have better judgment than yourself.

by Anonymousreply 12703/26/2013

To R111, you are right, I made it sound like it was possible to teach or change all autistic children/people to conform to the social norm...I know it is not but I would at least try.

by Anonymousreply 12803/26/2013

I think "OH FANK YOU! You fixded my cheeseburger!" will be my standard response to grammar trolls from now on.

by Anonymousreply 12903/26/2013

If I am seated next to a child who is being disruptive to my enjoyment and to the enjoyment the other people in the same space, I just figure the rules of polite society have been temporarily relaxed - so I light up a cigarette.

To be polite I always offer cigarettes to those around me, including the disruptive child.

Usually the children are so profoundly stupid they eat it.

by Anonymousreply 13003/26/2013

Oh shut the fuck up, frau @R127.

I have the same standard for all children and all people for that matter. If someone is unable to behave appropriately and interferes with other people's enjoyment of their meal, then they need to remove themselves from the social situation or not go out in the first place.

Stay home, go to a restaurant that has a private dining room, take a picnic to the park - whatever. It's just common sense and good manners.

by Anonymousreply 13103/26/2013

Bartender, please send a round to R130's table.

by Anonymousreply 13203/26/2013

[quote]One slight change in her routine can change the course of the day instantly.

Do they eat at Chili's on a daily basis then? If they do it seems they'd be used to how their food is served. If they don't then it seems like being put in that unfamiliar environment in the first place would be a far bigger change to the kid's routine than a hamburger cut in half. What's the next melt down? Sesame seeds on the bun? A lettuce leaf on the burger?

If this story is true then the server handled the situation very well. I also credit the story teller for at least having the sense to offer to pay for a second burger. But it's a mistake for the families of special needs kids (or just plain old coddled brats) to ask to world to indulge their kid's every whim. Would the kid have flipped out if the sister had calmly explained that the burger wasn't "broken" but simply cut in half to make it easier to eat? If she can't handle that minor change to her routine then the restaurant environment is too stressful for her to begin with.

by Anonymousreply 13403/26/2013

Seems like r133 wants seated next to the loudest, most obnoxious table of mentally challenged adults and children!

maitre d! please seat this party in the inferno room!

by Anonymousreply 13503/26/2013

R133, you're not very good at this. And by "this," I mean "critical thinking." Your posts consist of deflection, projection, and, most recently, ad hominem attacks. You think that the world should bow down before your screaming child and her or his needs, no matter the situation, but can't really tell us why--instead, you tell us that we're bad people. Get better arguments, lose the sniffy tone, or (you guessed it!), shut up, asshole.

by Anonymousreply 13603/26/2013


[throws bottom of dress over her head]

by Anonymousreply 13703/26/2013

Isn't it presumptive of a restaurant to cut a kid's burger in half to start with? Kids love to hold the entire thing.

What restaurant does that?

by Anonymousreply 13803/26/2013

R115, I hate pubic restaurants. I always find hair in my food.

by Anonymousreply 13903/26/2013

[quote]I hate pubic restaurants. I always find hair in my food.

Not if you eat at a Brazilian restaurant.

by Anonymousreply 14003/26/2013

Poor child has parents who don't know the difference between "its" and "it's"

by Anonymousreply 14103/26/2013

I found the original story sweet...and then I also laughed endlessly at the rest of the thread.

You got to have range, so you can be sentimental and irreverent at the same time.

by Anonymousreply 14203/26/2013

Who's going to fixded my broken dreams?

by Anonymousreply 14303/26/2013

Oh for the love of cock! To those of you self-appointed shame-dispensing morality cops: shut the fuck up. The overwhelming criticisms in this thread are correctly focused on the fact that this schmaltzy shit never happened, and is a totally fabricated tale to make people with simpler minds have a feel good moment. It's the email equivalent of "Guideposts" magazine.

People on this thread (by and large)are not insensitive to the burdens that parents of children with learning disabilities have to endure, honestly, they're not. Instead, they're totally sick of bullshit do-gooders who feel they've done their good deed for the day by shoveling this shit into our mail boxes every fucking day.

After all, if I love Jeebus, isn't it a good thing for me to make you think about childhood autism and then have a warm fuzzy, as opposed to, well, you know, getting off my fat ass, leaving my frau cave, and actually volunteering for organizations that serve to help people with autism?

by Anonymousreply 14403/26/2013

So is it too late to ask if I can have the first burger?

by Anonymousreply 14503/26/2013

You know the entire kitchen staff jacked off on the second burger before sending it out.

by Anonymousreply 14603/26/2013

I love R144.

by Anonymousreply 14703/26/2013

I love R145. Give him a nice glass of house red with that burger!

by Anonymousreply 14803/26/2013

Who says the glory days of DL are over considering R139 and R140's posts?

by Anonymousreply 14903/26/2013

[quote]DataLounge get your fix of gay gossip, news and pointless bitchery. -- Webby, isn't it long past the time to remove that no-longer-relevant slogan from this lame frau fest of a board?

Considering it has Applebee's, a cubefrau, Facebook, children in public, an "invisible" disease, finickiness and baby talk all in one anecdote, I'd say it fits "pointless bitchery" quite nicely.

In fact, all it needs is the child to have a peanut allergy and the mother to be wearing The Boyfriend Blazer.

by Anonymousreply 15003/26/2013

Don't forget the bloodhounds snappin' at her rear end, R150.

by Anonymousreply 15103/26/2013

I love r151!

by Anonymousreply 15203/26/2013


by Anonymousreply 15303/26/2013

Okay, fuck off asshole.

Also, you are wrong - again. You have no gift for analysis, dear, and you have yet to refute or deny a single thing I've written.

Tell me, do you actually believe that autistic children who are (as yet) unable to control their behavior actually enjoy restaurants? You may enjoy it, but do they? Really? I think not. So stop being such a stupid, selfish cunt and order in when you don't want to cook. Get a sitter when you want to go out. Your autistic kid doesn't want you torturing and humiliating him/her in restaurants and other public places.

If the child is at a a place in the spectrum where he/she will eventually master the social skills required in restaurants and other public places, good. Get the hell off the internet and go work with the kid. Stupid fucking frau.

by Anonymousreply 15403/26/2013

R154 I concur. It is obvious the child did not enjoy being at the restaurant because the child was obviously deeply traumatized by a simple variation of its meal.

by Anonymousreply 15503/26/2013

The part of the story that really sticks with me is the part where all the kitchen workers were in the back laughing their asses off.

by Anonymousreply 15603/26/2013

I have a question for R127. When my father-in-law got old he started to have problems with incontinence. He could and would shit his pants unexpectedly. He loved to go out to restaurants, but it became impossible given the unpredictable nature of his bowels.

So, R127, what would you do in this case? Let him go anyway? Aging and incontinence are a normal part of life. According to your logic, FIL had every right to eat out as a paying customer and nearby diners should understand/tolerate the shit smell as they eat their dinner.

by Anonymousreply 15703/27/2013

r126 I think there's so much autism usage due to teen drug taking. I think I read it somewhere that it's fucking up people's genetics.

by Anonymousreply 15803/27/2013

Discovery Mag has a great discussion on why people are being dx'd now with autism and not in the past.

Part of it was that people were just called crazy and shunted away into an institution.

Read the comments there. Fantastic & enlightening discussion.

by Anonymousreply 15903/27/2013

r157 If your FIL feels insecure about his health issues, than it is his choice whether to dine out. It is not mine. Having chronic incontinence would make anyone feel self-conscious. Perhaps you ought to have a conversation with your FIL about the matter instead of seeking advice here.

One would think that those who suffer from chronic incontinence would be wearing an adult diaper to save themselves from public embarrassment. There are many people who dine out who have various medical issues. Do we go down the list and decide who is permitted to dine out and who isn't because it offends "normal" restaurant patrons?

by Anonymousreply 16003/27/2013

Uh, R160, diapers don't keep the smell of shit from permeating an entire room. Not asking you or anyone else here for advice, lunatic. My FIL is long dead. Just offering a simple analogy to help a logic challenged person, such as yourself, understand that not everyone can go to restaurants because of the impact on OTHERS. My FIL's family, people with good manners and reasoning skills, understood this and kept him home.

by Anonymousreply 16103/27/2013

I for one would NOT appreciate sitting in a restaurant whilst the geezer at an adjacent table starts crapping his pants. Oh the hummanity.

by Anonymousreply 16203/27/2013

Funny how the thread morphed from cheeseburgers to incontinence. Coincidence? I think not.

by Anonymousreply 16303/27/2013

Now all I can think of is a restaurannt full of people eating cheeseburgers and pooping in their pants.

by Anonymousreply 16403/27/2013

"Come for the cheeseburgers. Stay for the poop."

by Anonymousreply 16503/27/2013

They could've totally punked the kid by bringing out the second cheeseburger cut into quarters.

by Anonymousreply 16603/27/2013

R160 eats old peoples' excrement, so sitting next to an incontinent elder in a restaurant could work out quite well for her.

by Anonymousreply 16703/27/2013

FANK YOU for my turkey meatballs!

by Anonymousreply 16803/27/2013

The potty chair in a restaurant thread has been bumped in honor of this one.

by Anonymousreply 16903/27/2013

[quote] Part of it was that people were just called crazy and shunted away into an institution.

Sigh. I miss the good old days.

by Anonymousreply 17003/27/2013

[quote]If she tried to make that kid way the cheeseburger, it would end with everyone's food on the floor, a screaming/shaking child throwing feces at the other patrons.

If the child won't eat it, it won't have feces.

Seriously it's a kid not a monkey, if it can't behave don't take it out in public, if it won't eat, it sure will when it gets hungry enough.

by Anonymousreply 17103/27/2013

[quote] Aging and incontinence are a normal part of life

Oh honey, no. Incontinence past the age of 3 is not a normal part of life. My mother is 83, my partner's parents are 86. None of them is incontinent of urine, let alone of feces.

by Anonymousreply 17203/27/2013

I'm DOCTOR Amy Bishop and I demand that potty chair for my father!

by Anonymousreply 17303/27/2013


by Anonymousreply 17403/28/2013

Here is the picture of the retarded girl kissing her burger.

by Anonymousreply 17504/01/2013

Part Two of this is the cubefrau going back at closing and finding Luis in the back.

Pointing at her cooch and saying, "This is broken....can you fix it papi?" A few minutes later, as Luis and Te-quaan are double penetrating her, she moans, "fank you!"

by Anonymousreply 17604/01/2013

I suspects all hell is going to break loose when that little girls finishes then announces, 'MY CHEESEBURGER GO AWAY!"

by Anonymousreply 17704/01/2013


by Anonymousreply 17804/02/2013

bump for the girl kissing the burger

by Anonymousreply 17904/04/2013

“OH FANK YOU! You fully loadeded my potato!”

by Anonymousreply 18004/04/2013

Bumpita for getting fixded.

by Anonymousreply 18104/07/2013

Is she related to Jill who was trying to learn about periods and the opening between her legs?

by Anonymousreply 18204/07/2013

bump for those who missed this gem the first time around

by Anonymousreply 18309/30/2013

OH FANK YOU! r183.

by Anonymousreply 18409/30/2013

woah, it was real!

by Anonymousreply 18509/30/2013

This is the kind of post that makes DL for me. FANK YOU!

by Anonymousreply 18609/30/2013

You are all horrible people and I love you all, lol.

by Anonymousreply 18709/30/2013

How is it that in this entire thread, nobody noticed that frau-mommy said her kid had Down's Syndrome, in addition to autism?

Christ, talk about a fetus that should've been put down before it even came out!

by Anonymousreply 18909/26/2014

R189, Without a doubt this precious angel is going to have Alzheimer's - extremely common in Down's patients.

Can you imagine a fate worse than trying to hug something, way too tightly, over and over and over again without being able to remember why you were doing it?

by Anonymousreply 19009/26/2014

I never want to see anyone kissing a cheeseburger all over. Yikes

by Anonymousreply 19109/26/2014

How is it you didn't notice this thread had run its course and wasn't worth reviving, r189?

by Anonymousreply 19209/26/2014

We live in the era of high maintenance non-normal children.

Cue the ADD children, the OOD children and the little DSM-5 pre-socio-psychopaths.

by Anonymousreply 19309/26/2014

Yet you posted, R192. Yet, you posted. A wee bit of self analysis might be in order!

by Anonymousreply 19409/26/2014


by Anonymousreply 19509/26/2014

LMAO. Classic thread.

by Anonymousreply 19602/17/2015

Did we ever talk about Bradley Cottermole, the male hero of the story? And his delicious name?

by Anonymousreply 19702/17/2015

[quote]They could've totally punked the kid by bringing out the second cheeseburger cut into quarters.

I laughed my ass off when I read this. It so sounds like something I would do.

Yes, I'm a diabolical cunt.

by Anonymousreply 19802/17/2015

What a perfectly self-entitled, spoiled little brat! Just eat the "broken" hamburger!

by Anonymousreply 19902/17/2015

I hate kids. I am not alone in this. Where is our parade? Where is our goddamn parade?

by Anonymousreply 20002/17/2015

That brat ate my friend!!!

by Anonymousreply 20102/17/2015

FANK YOU for bumping dis thread!


by Anonymousreply 20202/17/2015

What a sweet story.

And all the cynicism upthread?

That needs to be killed with FIRE. And a huge dose of rainbow glitter.

by Anonymousreply 20302/17/2015

I'm guessing this was Arrianna Grande.

by Anonymousreply 20402/17/2015

R203 is why this place has gone to shit.

by Anonymousreply 20502/17/2015

Meh.....No Fank You! No More, Please.....

by Anonymousreply 20602/17/2015

Fix This Bitch!

by Anonymousreply 20702/17/2015

Did anyone order dessert?

by Anonymousreply 20802/17/2015

For anyone curious about what Autism is like, read this excellent novel and laugh/weep/come to some compassionate understanding about this very real developmental disorder:

'curious incident of the dog in the nighttime' by Matk Haddon.

by Anonymousreply 20902/17/2015

r203 brokeded my Datalounge.

by Anonymousreply 21002/17/2015

R203's gunt is about to tear her mom jeans to shreds.

by Anonymousreply 21102/17/2015

I was molested at a Chili’s.

by Anonymousreply 21202/17/2015

[quote] at the Chili’s location in Midvale, UT

This is where I stopped having the slightest interest.

by Anonymousreply 21302/17/2015

R209 that was a good novel. It made me so nervous when the kid climbed down onto the train tracks to get his rat, though. Glad that ended well.

by Anonymousreply 21402/17/2015

The waitress should have dumped the "broken" cheeseburger on precious little Arianna's head, along with the pickles and ketchup.

Then she should have called out her wasteful and indulgent mother, for disposing of perfectly good food.

Finally, I would have kicked their entitled asses out of my restaurant.

That's how I WOULD HAVE fixded the problem.

by Anonymousreply 21502/17/2015

Little girl: Hey Flo!! A round of cocktails will fix this, you bitch.

by Anonymousreply 21602/18/2015

[quote]Did anyone order dessert?

Oh, Please God, please. NOT the Banana Split!

by Anonymousreply 21702/18/2015

This woman, who's old enough to be married, has a 7-year-old sister?

No wonder the little cunt is autistic. She was created by an ancient, crusty egg and sperm.

by Anonymousreply 21802/18/2015

Autistic children are like barnacles on society and their parents should feel deep personal shame over their lack of good parenting skills.

by Anonymousreply 21902/18/2015

thank you R215, there's hope for humanity afterall.

by Anonymousreply 22002/18/2015

Baby talk, baby talk.

by Anonymousreply 22102/18/2015

As someone who has lived this situation for 68 years, I can tell you that people in general are much more understanding, compassionate and just plain kind now than they ever used to be.

by Anonymousreply 22202/18/2015

I just threw up a little in my mouth OP.

by Anonymousreply 22302/18/2015

HAHAHA! What a fresh and original way to indicate displeasure in your online posts, R223!

by Anonymousreply 22402/18/2015

[quote]This woman, who's old enough to be married, has a 7-year-old sister?

I dunno, I wonder if she really is just the sister of the frau?

Besides the age difference, the frau's name is Anna, and the girl is Arianna... as in, Anna Jr.

I once knew a little girl named Tanika [ugh, I know], whose "older sister" was named Nikita... it was the same thing!

by Anonymousreply 22502/18/2015

[quote]As someone who has lived this situation for 68 years, I can tell you that people in general are much more understanding, compassionate and just plain kind now than they ever used to be.

You've lived in a Chili's making cheeseburgers for autistic kids for 68 years??

by Anonymousreply 22602/18/2015

Now I get it! Fank you, I fixded my "lack" of awareness

by Anonymousreply 22705/14/2015

I know that old thread bumps are annoying, but since one poster mentioned Chili's FB page being a "Land of the Fraus", I was compelled to share this little gem. NB: Someone needs to tell these hyphenated, multi-named twats that the 80s are getting to be a LONG time ago.

Cindy Van Heukelom Bekken cc I was there an hour ago. Waited 5 min to be seated, because a manager was updating the computer for the staff. I was seated; chose what I wanted to order, & read 2 chapters of a book I brought along before I decided to no longer wait for someone on staff to acknowledge me. Kudos to your hostess. She was polite and apologized for the seating delay. I let her know I was NOT upset at her in the least. I was excited to celebrate my tax return money coming in. I shared $5 of it with the McDonald's on Byron Center Ave. 2 · 16 hrs View previous replies Chili's Grill & Bar Chili's Grill & Bar Samantha, feel free to reach out to us at to share your thoughts! Thank you. smile emoticon

by Anonymousreply 22802/21/2016

Fank you, OP!

by Anonymousreply 22902/21/2016


by Anonymousreply 23002/21/2016

"Autographs? NO FANK YOU!"

by Anonymousreply 23102/21/2016

God bless ye, one and all, from cube-frau who forwarded this to fanged DLrs hissing out their venom of truth.

by Anonymousreply 23202/21/2016

Totally made up! What restaurant cuts cheeseburgers in half?

by Anonymousreply 23302/21/2016

R233 Sounds like one of those fancy places for uppity snobs!

by Anonymousreply 23402/21/2016

Fank YOU!

by Anonymousreply 23502/21/2016

In situations like this, it's less about the child, and more about the parents being acknowledged and praised in a public setting for having to deal with such a difficult child.

by Anonymousreply 23602/21/2016

Although not nearly as good a suggestion as to serve the second cheezeburger in quarters, another idea would be to cut it horizontally, then place the two sections together. Then when little Arianna picks it up, it will slide in half, triggering, I'm sure, a tantrum of cataclysmic proportions, particularly if one of the halves slides onto her lap, which you know it's sure to.

Reminds me of the joke about the spastic who orders an ice cream cone. "What flavor?" the seller asks. "It doesn't matter," replies the spastic, "I'm just going to spill it anyway." (The joke is intrinsically funnier if you can do a spastic accent).

FWIW, this is the absolute funniest thread I ave EVER read on DL. My stomach is literally sore from laughing.

by Anonymousreply 23702/21/2016

R215 You're right. Someone in another cutesy autism thread posted a surefire remedy for this sort of acting out. I couldn't agree more.

[quote]Once upon a time, teachers had a cure for this kind of behavior (and in some states, still do)--a wooden paddle applied vigorously to the seat of the pants.

[quote]Good parents repeated the therapy once the little darling got home, and more effectively: the pants got dropped and the paddling was administered to the bare bottom.

by Anonymousreply 23802/21/2016

How will these precious angels function as adults with everyone encouraging them to be special?

Will they just go around crashing into cars, causing uproars in restaurants, being demanding in Big Lots?

Who wants to fly on an airplane with a "special" captain?

"Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Captain Joey and we are going to the sky because it's blue and I like it!"

Woe to us non-chosen folks, who can eat whole or half hamburgers and do something for more than 5 minutes at a time.

by Anonymousreply 23902/21/2016

Pwease don't let this fwead die. You can fixded it.

by Anonymousreply 24002/26/2016

Glad that someone resurrected a DL meme.

Fank you

by Anonymousreply 24102/26/2016

Trigger warning!

by Anonymousreply 24202/26/2016

My heiny is bwoken because it's cut in half. Daddy stuck his paduter in my pooter and made it all better.

by Anonymousreply 24302/26/2016


by Anonymousreply 24403/05/2016
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