Unfortunate Last Names

I once worked with a guy with the last name "Outhouse".

I worked with a woman named Elizabeth Klitt.

I know of someone with the last name Butz

Also OP wouldn’t have “Ms. Fattso” have been more organic?

I feel sorry for OP’s teacher, choosing a profession that required her to be surrounded by assholes.

Actress Alison Doody.

Actress Heather Menzies.

There's a weatherman on the local TV station in my region with the last name of Wankum, but he pronounces it "Wahn-kum". I can only imagine the jokes he endured growing up.

I also knew an Asian co-worker with the last name of "Dong". He was a real dick, too.

My Mom's friends name was Meta Hooker

Heine...pronounced "Hi-Knee." And one was nicknamed Dick.

My uncle's wife's unmarried name was Kuntz. More than one?

^^^ Also, I went to college with a Kae Mart. And used to deal with a bureaucrat named Mary Wanner.

[Quote]Also OP wouldn’t have “Ms. Fattso” have been more organic?

Ms. Fattass was considered funnier to us teenagers at the time. I think Ms. Fattso would've been said by younger children.

Hayward-Thomas.

Should have been something with an accent and a family crest, like Ibáñez.

We had a horrible substitute teacher who was tall and pear shaped. Her name was Ms. Gimas. We called her Ms. Grimace.

Actress Imogen Poots.

I went to school with a boy whose last name was Peed.

Bottoms

Trump

R3 was he from Springfield MO?

Angela Brown-Rice

Dick Riegel

UK Dataloungers - is it true that 'Trump' means 'fart' in British slang?

Fanny Schmeller

My doctor is "Akhunt." My mother's gyno was Dr. Fier (pro: fear)

I worked on the 1980 Census. One name I never forgot was Autumn Pickles.

Lipschitz

Father Hands was arrested at our local Catholic church after he was charged for molesting teenaged boys. You can't make this shit up. The church moved him to another rectum, er rectory, where he was eventually discovered downloading child porn on their computer.

Lynn Hoare

The doctor who delivered me was named Pospissil. My mother's friend's name was Pickle Puffpoff. I wanted them to be married so she would become Pickle Puffpoff Pospissil. Never happened.

Butkus.

Markle

I had a teacher named Kumkee. He was a deeply closeted elder gay, so if you are reading this, Mr. Kumkee, Hi!

Gaga.

Lipschitz

I know a woman in Germany whose last name translates as "will fuck" in German.

When I was a medic in the service, there was:

- a Dr. Goldwasser on staff, he was a urologist.

-a pediatrician named Dr. Denton.

-and an intern, one Lieutenant Marvel, we were keenly anticipating his promotion to Captain.

r35 Boomsen? Thanks, Liza.

R22, yes, a big wet fart. And so it proved.

There was a guy where I used to work whose last name was Semen. Yes, you read that right. Though it should be pronounced Semyon, I would still have changed it.

In grade school there was a kid whose last name was Fagg.

Lipshitter

R39 that kid in grade school was you!

Had a friend in college named Jerko and I taught at a school where the three Slutsky daughters attended.

Mr. Dickoff was my high school principle

[quote] Mr. Dickoff was my high school principle

Oh, dear!

Old neighbor growing up was Richard - Dick - Seaman.

While working retail during Uni days I took the credit card of a very scattered customer and saw her family name was Looney.

Pussywether

Southern California gynecologist - last name DiCunto.

A teacher at my middle school was named Mrs. Hardick. Pronounced hard-dick. You can imagine what fun a room full of 13/14 year-olds had with a name like that.

That poor woman, I often wondered why she didn't just use her maiden name.

Dentist - Dr. Licking

Mrs. Gentile taught accelerated math.

My school was 10% Jewish, but accelerated math was at least 50% Jewish.

"Cocksucker."

There was family in my hometown named Tiddy, and we went to school with several of the kids. They were teased mercilessly, but not by us.

When I told brother that Richard Tiddy had changed his name to Teddy, he was flabbergasted.

"Teddy Tiddy?"

I had a teacher in 5th grade in Florida named Mr. Dingle. I later heard he changed this.

I swear to God this is true. My bf knew someone growing up in Maine named, wait for it, Ophelia Thyng. Might be my new drag name.

I knew Meta Hooker. She played the piano at my church. NIce Lady

I knew a Dr. Hog. And yes she was a fatty. She tried to pretend that it was pronounced "Hoag", but nobody believed her.

Wang, as in 'Wang accused of sexual assault.'

Growcock

Lipschitz

Kuntz

Assy

I had a teacher whose maiden name was Robin Hood.

I went to school with a girl whose last name was Fuchs (she pronounced it Fyoosh)

Captain William Bernard Butt

Edith Kuntz.

Seriously.

My job involves looking at insurance records so I see lots of names and a few wacky names. I always wonder why some of these people don’t legally change their embarrassing names. At least for their children’s sake. Bullying is tough to live with for something easily fixed.

R63, it's not easy to legally change your name. You had to get it changed on all your id's, documents, etc

Gottfried Egg

Pamela Balls-Organista

Reverend Hardball

Scott Tittiman

John Horniman

Schcock

I wish my first name was Assy

i dated a guy with the last name Klutts

Anything with "cock" in your last name seems unfortunate, but Robert S. Badcock managed to establish a successful furniture store chain with his last name front and center.

My neighbor’s last name is Chu, which isn’t so unfortunate if you don’t use his first name Dick.

Ima Hogg should have had her father killed, since her name was his idea.

I had a coworker with the last name ‘Cockburn’

Professor Robert Beaglehole

Former Secretary of State Earl Butz

My mother had a friend named Joan Snook.

Came across Butt, Fagg, Heine, Weiner and good ol’ Coach Pigg during my school years.

"Guttman".

I had a job interview with Dr. Ruth Toot. (I couldn't help but wonder if her husband's name might be Rudy...Ruth and Rudy Toot!)

Yeah, R17. But I wouldn't mind having Timothy Bottoms (circa "The Last Picture Show") bottom for me.

Sorry, former Secretary of Agriculture Earl Butz

He was an early victim of Cancel Culture. Lost his job because of his infamous last words...."All the n_____s want is loose shoes, tight pussies, and a warm place to shit."

I laughed at r82. I think I'm going straight to hell.

My English teacher Mr Dick dated my math teacher Miss Hand. No. Really.

I knew a guy with the last name Gay. He was a high ranking military officer, so you know he had balls of steel.

Googoo is a surname found among members of the Mi'kmaw Indian community in Nova Scotia.

Outhouse is also fairly common in N.S. It's likely of German origin.

Harry Dyke was the principal at a friend's high school

Middle school principle named Mr. Buckholtz. Called my mom into talk to him after trying to suspend me on bullshit, she called him Mr. Butthole during the entire interaction.

[quote]I went to school with a boy whose last name was Peed

When I was growing up there was a family in my neighborhood whose last name was Pee (no D).

[quote]I worked on the 1980 Census. One name I never forgot was Autumn Pickles.

A college friend of mine had a sister-in-law who worked for the Census and met an old man named Mathematics Enthusiasm Jones.

Back in the '80s, [italic]People[/italic] ran an article about folks with funny names and subsequently published a letter to the editor about the article from a lady named Waeda Goe.

Wacks. (later they changed the spelling to Wachs but we were not fooled)

Ima Hogg was a beloved philanthropist and arts patron in her beloved Houston.

Worked with a woman whose last name was Cabbagestalk.

R36 At Downstate Medical Center in Brooklyn, the head of Urology was Dr. Waterhouse.

So very unfortunate.

Ben Dover.

I used to see a chiropractor named Dr. Dye.

I knew of a chap at work named Richard Horr. No way could he shorten his first name.

I know a Fuchs as well.

Sometimes a bad married name isn't worth the true love.

Holly Tolley

Truly Boring

Minnie Dick

And Shirley, I am serious.

A gastroenterologist in my neighborhood. Dr. Pou

Eror

In my hometown, there was a guy whose last name was Fagg. If that weren't sad enough, his wife's first name was Gaye.

My brother had a friend in college who's name was KORNBLATT.

whose NOT who's

Our high school coach was Coach Seaman......... Mmmmm hmmmm & he was spot on 1980's gay porn material...... Face was OK- body was SMOKIN!!!

Gummer. Last name of a famous actresses daughter.

R74, wasn't her sisters name, Ura ?

The Inwood section of Manhattan has two streets which merge ... Cumming Street and Seaman Avenue

I knew a smart, charming, cute girl in HS - her name was Melinda Hilter. But at first glance... anyway in college she tried to change her name but her family wouldn't hear of it.

Quinn Cummings

In my brother's high school there was an English teacher named Miss Fooks.

HOW could you live with that??????

a dermatologist Dr. Whitehead

I went to high school with a guy named Harry Bottom. Talk about cruel parents.

There was a poor women here named Minerva Sitchcoomb. Never forgot that name. What about Newt? Even his mother must have hated him.

There's a plumbing company where I live called Fagnelli. No problem in its native Italian pronunciation, but here in America...

A friend had two academic colleagues with the last names of Glasscock and Hollopeter.

Anyone care to meet at the intersection of High and Gay Streets in West Chester, PA?

R115, when comedian Mike Birbiglia was asked why he doesn't pronounce his name correctly he said, "My parents are Olive Garden Italians."

I know (of) a queen with a variation of "bottom" in his last name

I had a chiar teacher named Mr. Recht, a law teacher named Mr. Hibler, and, of course, the unfortunate Chinese girls whose last name was Ho. We also had a eccentric French teacher named Ms. Chesless

Begay is a common Navajo name.

Then there's this guy.

Former minor league hockey player Mike Pudlick owns this thread.

Growing up, we lived across the street from a family of dicks (Dick).

Richard Swett was once elected to Congress because a great many voters thought his name was a gag.

In Jr high there was a guy Robert Cummer. He was bullied like me (I was a chubby goth back then) so we got along. One day in study hall he randomly brought up the subject of jerking off and wanted to know if I had any new techniques.

I was so scared I didn't know what to do. I went to his house and watched him jerk off. Even though he had a fat cock his ejaculation didn't live up the voluminous amount of his namesake.

Even then, I'm kicking myself that I didn't go for it! 😒

I know a British lady whose last name is Ennal

At my former workplace there was a Jola Sweat.

My Dad worked with a lady named Minerva Texas Snodgrass.

My friend Peter's mom knew a lady in New York City named Mrs. Shastacola.

Ima Hogg

I knew a guy called Dean Spank in high school (it might have been Spankie, I don't remember).

I went to middle school with a girl named Leah Beaver. She was tormented. "I'll play with your beaver". Boys will be boys.

[quote] Former Secretary of State Earl Butz

He was actually the Secretary of Agriculture (resigned during the Ford administration due to a racist remark).

Boebert

Rebecca Huge was just paged at LAX. The woman that came up to the ticket counter was freakishly tiny

I recently had a customer named Du-Du Wang. I couldn't call her Du-Du with out laughing, so I just called her Du......

Dr. Shit Fun Chew of Singapore was an early viral sensation.

Fingerhut. It makes my skin crawl.

Rich or Richard, but never Dick!

My parents worked together at a high school in Missouri in the late 1960s and said a teacher with the last name Dick absolutely insisted on naming his first son Harold, even though he knew the kid would be called "Harry Dick." People tried to talk him out of it for months but he refused, because his brother or uncle or something was a relatively famous man named Harold Dick and he wanted the same name for his son.

I think the famous relative was this guy, but don't quote me on that.

I. Emma DICKMAN

My middle-school flute instructor, a fat white middle-aged concert-band Frau who'd married an Asian man, and so her married name is Koq.

British footballer Mason Mount.

Suppose that's fortunate or unfortunate, depending on how you look at it.