Tom Ernsting radiates the kind of handsome silver-fox good looks of a character right off the Hallmark Channel, just the sort of guy that plenty of women would love to meet.
Unfortunately, Ernsting has heard from way too many scorned women.
"They scream at me and they yell at me for ruining their lives," said Ernsting, 60, who has a summer home in South Haven and spends the winter in Naples, Florida.
"The stories I've heard are insane."
One woman claims she handed over her credit card information to him and then he racked up $30,000 in charges. Tom Ernsting has built up a following of more than 150,000 on Instagram but his image has been used repeatedly by romance scammers to rip off women who are looking for love.
Others were upset that they sent him $500 to help him get across the border into the United States so that he could travel to see them but he never showed up. Some claim they lost money after they put cash on Apple iTunes gift cards to send to him.
"It's just crazy," Ernsting said. "It definitely took off during COVID because I think people were even more desperate and more lonely.
"It's sad because they fall in love with me."
Ernsting, says he did not reach out to these women via social media or dating apps and he doesn't have their money.
Ernsting does have a significant social media presence that scammers have impersonated in order to steal money from women who are desperately looking for love.
Some days he's heard from a dozen upset women who say they've been scammed by crooks using his pictures.
Ernsting, who grew up in Chicago and graduated from the University of Michigan, retired early from a job as a sales executive in the hotel industry.
He has built up more than 150,000 Instagram followers. He's been paid as a social media influencer for Jed North, a sports athletic brand, and appeared in commercials for Ashley Furniture HomeStore and MyPillow.
"There aren't a lot of people my age who are that active on Instagram," Ernsting said, attributing some of his success to his demographic. Tom Ernsting, 60, lives part of the year at his home in South Haven, Michigan. He's worked to build a social media presence but has seen scammers steal his image to use in romance scams.
"I'm attractive enough to draw people in but I'm not threatening, so people use my image to draw people in the door," he said.
Scammers have been stealing his image to impersonate him and create variety of social media accounts to use in romance scams.
"I can't believe my image is a business for these people. They're making a living off my image. They're probably making more than I ever have," he said.
Ernsting, who is gay, isn't trying to meet women. But he has responded to some who have reached out online and want to know what's going on. He tries to explain that his image is being used by hackers, maybe even part of sophisticated scamming rings overseas.
Too often, though, one response from him can snowball into someone wanting to tell their entire story, further a friendship and, sometimes, even hound him online. If he's photographed with a woman, some women will respond to him online saying things like "I thought you said you were gay."
