Why are there so many gay bottoms?

I remember some informal survey about twenty years ago that had it 75 percent bottoms/twenty-five percent tops, as far as a breakdown of the gay population.

Where do you live?

There will never be a scientific explanation for this.

It just is, what it is.

Masculine top men are a rare commodity.

It's also a reason why so many young gay men see trans-ing as the only option left to get a masculine dominant partner. It's ridiculous how imbalanced the gay scene is today. It's more lop-sided in any large city than ever before.

I feel like everyone is vers these days.

Very true R3.

Trannies get more straight dick than anyone.

Lucky bitches.

Too bad I'm not into that, or I'd try my luck. Unfortunately, I'd be 6'2 or 6'3 in heels.

[quote] I feel like everyone is vers these days.

Which basically translates into BOTTOM.

Every "vers" person I've ever hooked up with, couldn't get his legs up in the air fast enough.

Even the ugliest tranny can get more straight dick than the hottest gay bottoms simply due to the fact there are 200X more straight men than gay tops out there.

The truth is there are as many tops as there are bottoms. They just aren't as likely to "identify" as gay-- even though they are.

Effeminate flamers are less likely to be in the closet, hence the illusion of the surplus.

It's a visibility game. The same reason as why 100% of gay television is about drag queens even though it's always been a SUBCULTURE that doesn't apply to most gay men.

That's total bullshit, R8.

The bottom queens are very nearly scratching each others' eyes out to get to the one top that they can find on the hook up sites.

True tops know this, which is why they can be such dicks about it.

Ever notice why guys who identify as "TOP" on Grindr, etc. are always such assholes? It's because they can be.

The 99% bottom majority are all fighting over them.

Top here. 8 x 6 semi cut - hot bottoms call me!

1. The identity thing as described above - there probably are more tops who fuck men that don't identify or are not out as gay men.

2. We're talking about gay men. By no means am I saying that gay = bottom or that all gays like to bottom; many don't. But, on the flip side, there's clearly going to be a large subset who do want to bottom. I guess it's related to the first point.

3. More of a question than a point - is the standard for tops too high? I mean, with the internet we can look at big cocks all day and it can seem like everyone on earth is hung. Combine that with the general size queen nature of the gay community and are certain number of would-be tops not topping because they think they lack the necessary equipment?

Not surprisingly only over sexualized cumdump whores think that. I'm a fairly healthy and sexually active bottom (I was before covid anyway) and never once sensed there was a shortage of tops.

[quote] Masculine top men are a rare commodity.

No they aren't, are you typing from the 1940s?

Well smell you, Miss Uppity Cunt at R12.

Your type of bottom is the most HATED in our community.

For good reason.

R9 Your argument/assertion/self-pity does not even connect to the point being made that you're replying to. "That's bullshit... and here's some unrelated anecdotal garbage about grindr being a microcosm for the real world that I might as well drop."

This is not a humble brag but I feel like there are a lot of tops out there and they want to fuck like porn star style, pounding for 30 minutes. My hole is not meant to brutalized like that. Once prep came around I discovered the joys of topping and enjoy a good flip fuck. It's hilarious but everyone wants to be "Daddy" now.

You forget about the rather large number of gay men who are neither and don't do anal.

Nobody cares about them, R17.

They're freaks and weirdos.

I am one of those homos who does anal, but can also have really hot sex without it. You actually have to be skilled in bed to make it a hot experience. Mutual j/o, deep kissing which get more intense right as your coming together. Lots of oral and body contact, frotting. That's usually what I do on a first hookup.

[quote] I'm a fairly healthy and sexually active bottom (I was before covid anyway) and never once sensed there was a shortage of tops.

Exactly, R12. Nothing will help the queens on this thread.

There's no reality they will entertain that suggests they are merely undesirable or there isn't some conspiracy in motion to prevent them from getting laid. It really is an almost even split when you factor in the closet cases and R9's sad projection doesn't change that.

"Gurls, isn't a shame all the tops were hit by an asteroid and disappeared from the face of the planet? TRUE GAYS KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT."

Uh... bitch they're HERE, they've always been HERE, and they're in my INBOX marked as unread.

[quote] Your type of bottom is the most HATED in our community.

First of, why would people hate me? Is not being promiscuous an attack on you? What damage does it do to you? You can still fuck whoever you want, just don't expect the mathematics to work in your favor, even straight men face shortage of women in a pool if he sleeps around too much.

Second, like I give a fuck about "your community". I have my own friends and family who love me I don't need to be part of some made up community where the only thing you have in common with each other is your preference for men, we aren't in the 1940s anymore.

Maybe that's why you have this unrealistic ideal that tops are rare, because you live in a bubble with your superficial demands, your cattiness and unreachable standards of the "community".

[quote] First of, why would people hate me?

You mean besides the fact that you can't spell?

Being a stuck-up cunt is just one of your less than endearing qualities.

And then being a whiny cunt just adds to the irritation.

Then there's the bragging part, which just makes people want to punch you in the face.

You should just shut up now.

[quote] You forget about the rather large number of gay men who are neither and don't do anal.

"Rather large" = me and a couple of self loathing creeps I've chatted with online

I'm a total top but anal isn't a necessity for me and total bottoms nine times out of ten are obnoxious to be around much less date.

If you are really searching for a top head to Cairo.

R24 = one of the aforementioned TOP dicks/assholes.

Fuck off R26 you bottomless chasm.

All of my boyfriends have been like R24 which have resulted in great relationships and my asshole is still in tact. The young porn power bottoms have coin slot assholes. Anyways who care, live and let live. I don't see why this is getting everyone so fussy other than jealousy. People are upset that bottoms can still get laid, that there is not a shortage of tops and then start name calling.

"Total tops" are just as obnoxious r24. I prefer to bottom but will top a guy to his heart's content if he's hot. Guys who call themselves "total" anything are missing out.

Look grandma/R28.

Just because you can't get laid anymore and your cooch is all dried up, doesn't mean that you have to poo poo all over the other bottoms who are still trying to get laid.

The fact remains that there are too many fucking bottoms, and not enough goddamned tops!

I'm fine "missing out R29 you enjoy what you enjoy and I'll enjoy what I enjoy.

It is not news to anyone that there are tons of aesthetically challenged bottoms with equally deficient, materialistic personalities on dating sites that can't find a match. Why would anyone expect one of these people to be self aware as to the causes?

[quote] I'm a total top but anal isn't a necessity for me and total bottoms nine times out of ten are obnoxious to be around much less date.

R22 and R24 are a match made in heaven. The opposite ends of their grandiose delusions concerning their desirability form a complete unit.

There is no scarcity of tops. If I were to back this up with anecdotal evidence I'd be accused of bragging, but really. I've literally been fighting them off with a stick since I was 15.

[quote] I've literally been fighting them off with a stick since I was 15.

Please DIAGF!

Try not to be a cunt R32 I highly doubt you have the looks to compensate for it.

Straight friend has said there's a similar thing in the kink scene, way too many 'sub' women for the number of dom men vs sub/not-dom men. Apparently this has led to a number of desperate straight men pretending to be doms when they're not, leading to disappointment for the domcockhungry ladies.

Whatever, shop bottom @ R30. I said live and let live and basically stop throwing shade at bottoms. Obvious you can't read and your attitude sucks.

R34 You're the one who begrudges others because they're getting something you aren't. You, in fact, are the cunt.

R22 you should seek professional help. It's not my fault I have loving friends and family and don't need a community as a support system. I'd gladly join one if I needed one.

Also, if you can't grasp the simple mathematics : sleeping with everyone in your area = less dick to choose from, then you deserve to be bitter, because you're a moron. Unless you live nearby an airport or at a major international hub at some point, if you're a whore you'll run out of people to sleep with, it's just physics.

When you look and sound like Ross Matthews but don't have the E! money to go with it, very few of the available tops in your area are going to take an interest. Sorry.

Effeminate bottom queens are fighting like women over a very small pool of tops that can stand them.

Some guys like their holes filled. Not me. It hurts like hell. Big or small, you ain't shoving that thing up my bum.

OP there's already been thread after thread after thread about this. You just keep rehashing this same tired subject. The truth is, nobody wants to fuck you. I NEVER have problems finding men to fuck me. What's your problem OP? Can you tell us? Can you? Are you going to be able to give us an honest answer? Do you have anal warts or something? Herpes? Are you one of these silly queens that can only have a "total top" and nothing else will do?

Why don't you just face it skank hole, you're no good. Fucking you is like fucking the Grand Canyon OP. Dry and open air. No man can feel a thing. No man will ever, ever want your stinking hole. So do a search next time before you post your whiny little diatribe here because we don't want to hear about it. The majority of us have no problems getting guys to spray their loads into us. So just fuck off.

Another thing. The now ubiquitous and disturbing trend of bottoms masking their baby face with creepy instagram filters on these dating apps surely isn't doing them any favors, as well. I could post a typical example but you've seen them all already and so have the tops in your area.

Pretend to like craft beer and hiking like all the other "jock" type bottoms in your area that are emulating what they seek in a partner; or, be yourself.

What do "most" tops prefer, if such a generalization can be made? Well, not feeling like they're at an audition to be on RuPaul's drag race as a background gladiator playing Antony to your Cleopatra, for one.

The main reason why bottoms like OP and entourage can't get laid or find romance isn't because of a shortage of tops, but because there's usually dead giveaways on their profiles that they are THERE to be DRAMATIC and compete with other bottoms. Those apps are a SHOWCASING event to them.

What do most 'masculine' tops hate most according to their dating profiles that effeminate bottoms happen to exclusively traffic in? DRAMA.

There's an indication that you're a high maintenance drama queen on your profile and it's repelling men left and right.

Fear not, if you believe this to be an immutable characteristic on your part and not a personality flaw: There IS a demand for flamboyant, high maintenance queens among the 'masc top' crowd you're chasing. I see them ALL the time and they're one of the few types of men I can't attract with any consistency because I'm not the type they're drawn to. I'm fine with that; no tears shed. Accept that if you're a high pitched flamer you're not going to draw many of the 'middle of the road' types. To use a platitude, it is what it is. Either A. ) change something about your perceived image B. ) accept that not everyone is going to be into you simply because they are a top or C.) spend the rest of your days languishing over the highly dubious claim that there just aren't enough tops to go around and hoping everyone feels sorry for you or can relate. We don't and can't. Dating with any kind of standards in place, in general, is difficult. You're not special, but far less special than you think.

Yeah, Sooo HOT... "Total Tops" swishing around Wilton Manors with Jean-Paul Gautier under-eye concealer while enjoying a Jasmine infused Chai Tea Latte. The epitome of masculinity.

R44 By your logic, a dude fucking other dudes is automatically a feminine trait. We dismissed this idiotic equating of masculinity with barbarianism sometime in the 60s.

Also Jasmine and Chai are both (mild) aphrodisiacs. Have a sip the next time you're beating off alone into your sock and marvel at the heightened sense of pleasure experienced

Wow the thirst for masculine tops but be at an all time high

This whole premise is ridiculous. I'm a 100% top, and nearly every guy I come across (no pun intended) online identifies as a top. To me, bottoms are a rarity. Please, no BS about them just not wanting to be fucked by me -I'm talking about posted profiles not personal communications.

Maybe it's a function of geography?

r47 it does vary by region

R47 move to Seattle, you’ll never have that problem again.

I went to Seattle and twice hooked up with bearded tall lumberjack type masculine men...both bottoms with their ankles behind their ears as soon as the door closed. It was interesting but not what I expected.

r48 That deserves its own thread.

[quote] Maybe it's a function of geography?

R42 /R43 nailed it, so there's nothing else to say, however, I was scoffed at upthread for saying I don't belong to the "community" and that it could as well be the reason why I have no trouble finding tops.

Ignoring the hyperbole of the statement in itself, openly gay men who are proud of the "community" and the effeminate bottoms tend to concentrate in gay ghettos, West Hollywood is full of prissy effeminate queens like OP, so he probably sees more bottoms like him than the other way around, now try Santa Monica or Koreatown and the whole picture changes.

It goes without saying that the best way to use an app is to keep the filters on, so I exclusively see the tops and versatiles I care to date, which begs the question, don't you guys use the filters available or are you stingy cheap whores who won't dare paying for the service? I know some apps don't allow to filter tops and bottoms without paying, but I've never used Grindr, so I don't know if that's offered for free or not, I know Hornet disables top/bottom filters for free users, but scruff and Growlr don't.

I think the issue is that DL skews older bottom, and people like their bottoms younger. DLers can't wrap their heads around that for some reason.

I'm really okay with that ratio.

[quote] I think the issue is that DL skews older bottom, and people like their bottoms younger. DLers can't wrap their heads around that for some reason.

Maybe in the 1980s and 1990s, but this is 2020. Daddy chasers in LA, specially the Latinos ones, are almost exclusively tops chasing older guys to fuck, you're totally out of the loop. I'm turned down all the time because they only want to fuck silver daddies.

I think you mean golddiggers, R55. Tops prefer younger guys who take care of themselves.

I mean what I said, which dovetails to what I was gonna say, the apps you use determinate the type of gays you deal with. Grindr is the cesspool of gay hook up, all the prissy fem bottoms, bitchy queens and trans chasers are there. People like R56 are there. Steer clear.

Try Scruff, Hinge, Hornet, Growlr and Tinder and you'll have a totally different experience. I found my last boyfriend on Jackd an app for African Americans. I also use Bicupid (I'm gay but like bi guys).

"Why is there such a shortage of tops amongst gay men?" really means "Nobody wants to fuck me and I refuse to believe the problem is me."

[quote] Daddy chasers in LA, specially the Latinos ones, are almost exclusively tops chasing older guys to fuck, you're totally out of the loop. I'm turned down all the time because they only want to fuck silver daddies.

Sure, Jan.

R5 lol no, trannies get the self loathing bi dick. Str8 men will never fuck a man doesn't matter if he has fake titties. Some gays seem to not comprehend this

I don't use hookup apps, R57. Guys just hit on me in real life because I actually have hobbies and interests. I also don't need to be mocked by yet another self hating idiot.

There aren’t a shortage of tops in the LGBT community. There’s a top shortage among men looking for sex with men.

Hot trans and convincing CD’s have a never ending stream of hot guys. I posted about a gorgeous black trans girl who’s a friend and posted her Grindr messages. The thread was greyed out, because you jealous, hateful queens didn’t want to hear the truth.

My friend gets HUNDREDS of messages every time she logs in and gets hit up by the hottest, “straight” dudes who would NEVER hook up with a guy. These guys aren’t closeted gay guys. They are only attracted to femininity and have high sex drives, so are okay getting sucked off by or fucking a trans. Sorry the truth hurts, guys.

Those of you saying there isn’t a huge bottom imbalance among the men who have sex with men community ignore the hundreds of bottom postings in per day in Doublelist. Been on Grindr in LA, San Diego, NYC, Austin, Dallas, Houston, or Atlanta? It’s a bunch of aggressive bottoms!

I’m sure there are a few cities where there aren’t an overwhelming number of bottoms relative to tops, but it’s not the case in most cities.

Here’s what “straight” tops on Grindr want. Pic of my gorgeous black trans female friend.

I really don't think trans is the issue for gay male bottoms not connecting with tops. They are not stealing all the gay men.

Today's top is tomorrow's botton. Is, was, and ever shall be.

Total Bottom = Total Bottom; Mostly Bottom = Total Bottom; Somewhat Bottom = Total Bottom; Versatile = Bottom; Somewhat Top = Bottom; Mostly Top = Bottom; Total Top = Waiting for a Hot Guy to Bottom for.

"She" looks pretty, R63.

I can see why "she" gets so much dick.

If you've ever had a dick up your ass, you'd know.

[quote] Guys just hit on me in real life because I actually have hobbies and interests. I also don't need to be mocked by yet another self hating idiot.

Well r61, it's easy for prissy men to be hit on because you're easily recognizable as a gay stereotype. For the rest of us, hobbies or not, there are apps.

Gay people might fantasize about bottoming, and about that perfect top because bottoming is a more sensory-driven experience. A person bottoming gets sexual sensation from anal stimulation, prostate stimulation, and penile stimulation, whereas a top only gets the last in that list. However, reality dictates that the majority of gay men be capable of versatility. As one of my most "bottomy" friends used to say, "well, I wasn't planning on it, but I ended up having to "do my duty" last night". In my lifetime, I have definitely topped more than I have bottomed, probably in a ratio of 4/5ths to 1/5th, but I have never thought of myself as a top, even though I haven't bottomed in 25 years. I also don't think of myself as a bottom, because bottoming for me was ALWAYS painful as well as pleasurable. In my 20s and 30s, it was sort of a game to pick someone up and to see how events might unfold. In general, I liked fucking smaller, more boyish tricks, and being fucked by taller, more muscular guys, but there were lots of exceptions on both sides. Now, like some of the others listed above, I get more pleasure out of oral sex and other non-anal acts.

I'll top if asked but otherwise I've never really been into anal what's annoying is the bottoms that try to get me to fuck them bareback and then get offended when I tell them I only fuck with condoms.

R69 seems like the type to "make a scene" in public.

Wouldn’t a Bell-curve normal distribution make more sense, with most gays being versatile?

Yes, R73, and I would say that that is accurate in NYC.

I happen to enjoy fucking as much as I enjoy getting fucked. So whatever that makes me, is what I am. I LOVE MAN ASS, and I have absolutely no hangups about it whatsoever.

Ummm 🤔 okay dude

men love being submissive

Does "top" entail vers-top or strict top?