Dyke-dar: How do you spot a Lesbian?

When the U-Haul truck speeds by, the driver’s side front tire is lower due to her weight—and that of the 3 cats in her lap.

The cat hairs sticking to her micro-fleece, Native-American-print L.L. Bean vest.

This thread is not funny. OP, R1 & R2 has serious mommy issues and no one is amused in the slightest.

[quote] This thread is not funny.

Neither are lesbians.

I'm a lesbian. You know how I tell someone else is a lesbian? The same way a gay man can spot another gay man. Gaydar. Gay women have the equivalent to "smelling cookies". I can't articulate what that looks like, but I know it when I see it.

[quote] I can't articulate what that looks like

Glum.

Lack of sense of humor.

Stern and organized.

Subaru with broken taillight.

R3, I’m sorry you feel offended by the kidding going on here. I miss the days when humor was more rampant here.

[quote] taillight

Isn't that the name of Frank Lloyd Wright's studio?

Careful.

[quote]Sometimes it’s the tension in a woman’s face, the furrowed brow with stiff pursed lips in her way of speaking, that makes her seem to have a gruff demeanor and let’s you know she’ll munch.

We refer to it as caneface.

Someone said in the Cory Booker thread that the lesbian equivalent of "smelling cookies face" is "smelling fish face". See Rosario Dawson

Luxuriant mustache and other body hair. Bonnie Raitt nonstop.

The nutloaf crumbs on the flannel shirt .

If you see something like this on the road you can be almost positive that there's a labia-muncher behind the wheel.

Regales you with tales of putting the petal to the metal while driving the Rainbow Express cross country. Cash, grass, and ass, abound.

She regales you with the nightmare story of being taken advantage of by the Rainbow Express person and lets you in you in on one of life's little secrets...

squirrels = death.

[quote]Regales you with tales of putting the petal to the metal while driving the Rainbow Express cross country. Cash, grass, and ass, abound.

Lesbians know how to spell 'pedal'.

As Captain Obvious knows best, the most efficient way to spot any gay person is to watch them interact with members of the same sex and members of the opposite sex. You can always tell. It doesn't take a Daily Mail "body language expert" or even more than a gay person with average perceptive ability to figure it out.

Armpit hair.

It's that combination of smug and bitter.

I believe Canadian lesbians have a distinct look too.

Long ago I learned on DL that the biggest tells are:

1. Big watch

2. Sporty/sensible haircut

3. Thin layer of makeup

I don't.

You wonder why she’s petting her fanny pack, then realize she brought her cat to the bar.

They wear their watches on the inside of their wrists. Absolute giveaway.

R27, funny because I actually did do that when I used to wear a watch. The only other person who I saw do it was my grandfather, though, so...

OMG, r28, your grandfather never told you he was a lesbian?

I first read this as "Dyke-CAR"

Are there dyke cars would make a good thread!

Overweight, mobility issues, unfortunate haircut, drab attire, stern demeanour

Has anyone mentioned canes?

some of the dyke variety have that sloped mouth on one side that looks like they had a stroke.

I was in VT last weekend to leaf peep and I saw two lesbians pull up in the biggest shit-kicker truck I've ever seen. One was sort of lipstick - fat but femme in a purple dress (but with birkenstocks - ugh), dyed red hair and a lip piercing, long dark hair. I could only tell her dude was born a woman because of the Billie Eilish big tits, stuffed under a hunting jacket. The butch had a buzz cut, flannel and work jacket, dickies, black boots and those polarized sunglasses that older straight dudes wear.

I worried about the femme's vagina. That thing was going to get destroyed after butch downed a few pots of chili in the diner they were going into.

If she follows up going to the doctor by going to the mountains, she's probably a lesbian,

Short fingernails, filed but no polish.

Dykes

don't

tip

What about the tight lips?

A weird "S" sound. Not a lateral lisp exactly, but the "S" is a dead giveaway.

A mannish quality with a short man complex/attitude— that swagger that says “l’m looking for any opportunity for a fight to show how tough I am”.

One of the Platonic Forms

[quote]I first read this as "Dyke-CAR"

That would be a short thread. Subaru.

There's a slight deepness to the voice all the time. I've never heard a baby-voiced lesbian.

They stand with their hands in their pockets.

They like anime and sports more than straight women.

Supposedly, unlike straight women, they push or roll their sleeves above the elbows.

They walk more strongly, with their hips leading, rather than little steps lead by their boobs.

They give next to no shits about men. Watch any straight woman interact with a man and you'll see a presentation put on, even if she's not attracted to him. Lesbians don't put on the show.

Ha, r42. I don't like anime or sports and don't own a Subaru, but the rest of the items on your list all apply to me, and I'm bi, not even a full-fledged lez.

I do like men just fine and sometimes even date and sleep with them, but I don't do the putting on a show thing.

Mitch McConnell's first wife.

Complaints of being tender to the touch and a prescription for Cymbalta.

How many can say that Meredith Baxter pinged during "Family Ties"? IMO, she code-switched completely. Yes, she does look like a lesbian now. But, before? She did not ping, IMO.

Where I live in Connecticut lesbians usually drive a Subaru, they’ve got 4 or 5 kids, an ex husband or two, and they’re now living with their wife after they “found themselves” when they were 50 years old.

Hiking boots for any and all occasions.

R47 aka hormone switch during menopause

....

A fondness for tabbouleh?

r23 there are no straight Canadians. Not a one in the wild.

For the younger ones- wearing boxy clothing, having a constant concerned look on her face (resting concerned face.)

R43 Rolling and cuffing shirt sleeves got brought up on the "let's be bisexuals" thread. I don't know where that comes from.

An intense interest in an unsexy traditional handicraft- like loom weaving, or whittling. I know a lesbian with an impressive rug-sized loom that takes up a whole room.

As kids- militant belief in girl power.

Most girls don't really buy into the empowerment messages that are sent to little girls- girls run the world, girls get it done, boys are dumb- but budding future baby dykes 100% buy into it.

Concern face on young dykes is indeed a thing. It's the equivalent of smelling cookies face on gay men. I much prefer smelling cookies face if I had to choose.

Second Spring

Meaty forearms.

eau de tuna

Casually throwing the word cunt around- unlike straight women who meltdown at the mere thought of the evil C-word. I realize Michfest types aren't included in this one, but it is a notable trait of young-ish lesbians.

Good lord, if you want proof that gay men are just as silly and stupid as straight men, read this thread. Don't believe the hype, people.

This obviously isn't all lesbians, but I've noticed a strange amount of moles or warts around many a lesbian's mouth, nose, or chin. Is it from eating STD riddled pussy?

Lips always look like they're about to exclaim THAT'S NOT FUNNY!

Natural hair texture.

Lesbians don't straighten, perm, relax, or use hot tools on their hair.

Has everyone forgotten about lipstick lesbians?

Nope.

There are very few true lipstick lesbians. Most Lipsticks are really Sporty, Butch or Granola and just work in environments where they feel they have to play into gendered stereotypes of femininity.

I don’t know any straight women who wear cargo shorts.

Isn't Sarah Paulson a lipstick lesbian, or is she bisexual? What about Sophie Ward?

Many of the movies lesbians adore (Carol, Blue is the Warmest Colo(u)r, The Handmaiden, Desert Hearts) are filled with feminine lesbians.

Pathological lying, an affliction of more than half of all lesbians. They’ll come up with pointless whoppers.

Kristi (who works in retail at an outdoor gear store, drives a 2003 Toyota Tacoma and lives in a garage apartment) says she has a “massive” Trust Fund... but you know she “just doesn’t like to touch it.”

Kelsey (who sells soap and other crafts on Etsy) says she lived in Brooklyn for a few years, when she was about 20, where she allegedly owned a highly successful boutique vegan bakery and claims she had a “highly secret” affair with Zooey Deschanel. “Not many people know that, so don’t say anything!”

None of this is even close to true.

r70, Sarah Paulson is an opportunist.

Feminine and Lipstick are not synonyms. Lipstick is a very specific type that adheres to Western straight male gaze stereotypes of "sexy woman", as determined by the styling conformity seen in mass media and porn. Feminine describes a variety of qualities, many behavioral, which are culturally associated, rightly or wrongly, with women. But media, in general, does a terrible job of accurate lesbian representation and is partly to blame for the rise in butch girls mutilating their bodies and injecting themselves full of cancer causing cross-sex hormones.

Ding-dong a lesbian has arrived at R72!

R73 other than the “Western straight male gaze” reference, which reads “all men are rapists”, she ain’t wrong.

Inedible vegan fabrications that are touted as 'delicious" by a depressed looking frau with an undercut.

Weighing three hundred pounds.

Has no choice in the matter though, because she must avoid 'the male gaze'. Her own gluttony will play no part.

I know a "high femme," who I guess would pass for a prissy suburban woman.

She has a lot of off traits, like insisting on wearing heels even in situations where they don't make sense. She has huge designer bags, scarves, clinky jewelry, frilly blouses, but weirdly does not wear earrings or have her ears pierced. She has a long bob she doesn't style and she doesn't fill in her eyebrows (she ought to.) She wears very light makeup with gloss.

She loves butches and her favorite subject is all of the sexy butches who buy her things, send her dms, take her out. Her dream woman is basically a nineteenth century mustachio'd gentleman with a clit.

She's probably bi and has found a good grift.

The pupils are pinpricks.

Where I live the young lesbians almost all dress like teenage surfer boys - board shorts, surf company t-shirt, Olu Kai flip lops, bead bracelets and that gay man haircut that's shaved on the sides and long on top. None of them have ever EVER surfed.

R78 I'd be surprised if she was bi given how she talks, but grift is good read on her.

R77 ear piercing is a penetrative mechanism of masculine patriarchy oppression, which invites the western white straight male gaze. All men are rapists!

Dead giveaway: Stuff in their breast pockets. Straight women don't clutter up their chest area.

R6, I met Pam St. Clement at a Stonewall event some years ago, and she was nothing like Pat Butcher. She was warm and absolutely charming.

I remember a funny thread asking about fat lesbians when it was revealed the US Gov spent like a billion dollars trying to find out why lesbians were fat.

Lesbians were all over it blaming it on lesbians making concerted efforts to avoid 'the male gaze'.

They were making out that they really didn't want to eat that third slice of cheesecake, but just had to because of misogyny.

R85 lesbians truly hate men and blame the male race for everything, but they always worship their own fathers. Bizarre.

This thread is hilarious. I'm a guy and I'm terrible at spotting lesbians unless they're stereo-typical. This is probably because I have a glamor lesbian sister who associates primarily with her own kind There are many lovely gay women who ...well, I guess they pass for straight until they tell you they have a wife

Unfortunately getting fat doesn't work in avoiding the male gaze. You only end up attracting black guys.

R88 Racist Lez

The "lipstick lesbians" are the lesbians' equivalents of DL's "masc" gay men. They can "pass".

In their own minds only.

Lesbians don't hate men. In fact, many lesbians are friends with men because of common interests, e.g. sports. That's where the term "les-bro" originated.

A small number of lesbians may hate men, just like a small few DLers quite obviously hate women. Fortunately, those broken men and women are only a small percentage of the population.

R91, so there's no such thing as a lipstick lesbian or a "masc" gay man?

You really think that gay people are limited to just the obvious, stereotypical gay men and women?

The click-clack, click-clack of her adjustable aluminum cane announces her arrival.

[quote][R91], so there's no such thing as a lipstick lesbian or a "masc" gay man?

No.

[quote]You really think that gay people are limited to just the obvious, stereotypical gay men and women?

Yes.

Y KANT R93 REED?¿

I always know because of their bad skin, bad hair, no makeup, manly walk, bad shoes, Subaru, and bitterness.

The "Lesbians get fat to avoid attracting men" idea was reinforced by Rosie O'Donnell years ago when she said she didn't like it when she lost weight because men would hit on her.

Uh-huh, Rosie.

Many models, male and female, are homos and they're meant to be the standards for beauty.

[Quote]A small number of lesbians may hate men

I think those types are all just "political lesbians" aka bitter hetero fraus.

The smell of alcohol on their breath.

The steely cold eyes

The stench of uncleaned/poorly groomed pussy.

R104 has a gofundme to have his dick converted into a “front hole” that will be filled with pubic hair, fecal matter and a surprisingly wide variety of bacteria.

No frills.

Womyn’s Bodies are self-cleaning!

[quote] A small number of lesbians may hate men, just like a small few DLers quite obviously hate women.

So, where are all these hateful comments against lesbians coming from? This thread is littered with them. Is it just one troll?

Lesbians as young girls are so funloving and happy, but they seem to hit a wall at 40 and become bitter upon being faced with their reality. Gay men just keep getting better and can even get young men to help them feel younger (with enough money lol) but older women don’t have much to look forward to.

Does any of this apply to Joan Lunden?

R108 does not find this funny.

They smell of Irish Spring and Marlboros.

R109, are you investing your money now? I hope so, because the price of sugar babies will be expensive in 15 years.

R3 if this offends you, skip to the next post. And remember no one ever died from being offended.

A woman who lives in Park Slope Brooklyn.

I’ve only had one lesbian friend in all my 60 years, but she chain-smoked Pall Mall cigarettes and drank vodka daily.

The Michfest 99 bumper sticker.

R55 As opposed to "sexy" traditional handicrafts? What would that even be?

The roller derby trophy proudly displayed on the mantle.

Thanks OP. I find this thread enlightening.

I stole this from an older related thread R85

They need a “study” for this?

Gurl

Lesbians can be Stylish too

Sarah Paulson most definitely does not stand out as a lesbian...but...she is!

Lesbians are fat because they don't need to impress men. That's also why straight men are fat.

The only people who obsess over their looks are people who seek approval and validation from men: straight women and gay men.

Of course it's unhealthy to be fat.

You'd feel better -- YOU not men -- if you lost weight.

And also if you stopped trying to blame men for your own misery.

Paranoia: they tend to keep looking at others, to see if they're being glanced at (and thus attacked). They habitually try to prompt men to make eye contact, so they can confirm to themselves that men are hostile. Similar to certain women in headscarves.

That's a good one, R127. I've never read it noted on DL before but it's real. Lesbians are always taking quick glances around.

Wear huge winter coats indoors at all times, is something else that goes unmentioned.

If I see one slightly butch woman snacking on the pussy of another slightly (or more) butch looking woman, I am willing to be she is a bit Sapphic.

R109 had a bitchy grandma who was probably a closet lesbian and did not bake him the cookies he loves to smell.

Older women, some of them straights, have this sexual renaissance they don't jabber about much. Gone are the concerns of their now grown children. A lot of straight women I know have ditched their man baby husbands for younger hotties happy to have the old family home for a base and grateful for a woman who loves to get it on in the sack instead of their more difficult and more demanding peers.

As for lesbians, we don't need younger suck-ups pretending to enjoy our wrinkled asses. Our libido takes a bit of a dive after 55 or so, so it's all good when you can mentor someone without the sexual pressures. That's why you don't see older lesbians advertising for rental bitches....at least not where I'm from. Instead, I have a cute couple building a house on the back 9 acres of my property who will be doing most of the work into my old age while I get the goat milk and organic veggies in exchange. I may not have cultivated my sense of humor, but I sure as hell have enough sense to overcome whatever the need to be funny creates in the older men I see around me.

Their posts on Datalounge drone on for paragraphs, either on a diatribe about how misogynistic gay men are or something nonsensical.

R126, lesbians don't blame men for their problems. Not any more than you blame women for your problems. (You don't blame women, do you?)

What sayeth Datalounge?

[quote] lesbians don't blame men for their problems.

Yeah, right.

....

LOL. The religious right in this country wants to take away your equal rights. Straight men are afraid of you or disgusted by you, and some of them bash you, physically and verbally. Straight women want to use you as a token.

And you want to trash lesbians? The people dealing with the same oppressors as you?

Ask yourself who your real enemy is.

Nobody is bashing lesbians. You just can't take a joke. Because you're a lesbian.

I can take a joke. The problem is that there's nothing funny on this thread. Just nastiness disguised as "jokes". Someone here is obsessed with driving a wedge between gay men and gay women. It's odd, because these two groups have historically helped each other out and can continue to do so in the future. Why not save the venom for the people who really want to hurt you?

[quote]I can take a joke. The problem is that there's nothing funny on this thread.

They can never let it rest.

They must prove the stereotype over and over again.

Please point out something funny on this thread.

[quote] Ask yourself who your real enemy is.

Yep, gay men are losing it. Suddenly, being the court jesters to straight people didn't equate to straights actually accepting them as being accorded equal rights, like they thought it would. Instead they voted for Trump and said "Fuck gays". What a shock. So, they're lashing out and making enemies of gay women. What idiots.

R140, I can point out several gay male stereotypes that you're demonstrating, but what would be the point of promoting those hurtful stereotypes. I don't want to insult millions of gays because of the behavior of one asshole. Build people up, not down.

R142, I would bet that only a small amount of gay men actually voted for Trump.

This thread has now just devolved into two lesbians telling us how unfunny we are and how we all have mommy issues as R3 predicted.

Ask Donna Brazile's girlfriend.

Woman who brings bread pudding to the pot luck dinner.

R145 I posted R3 to try and suffice them when they entered. Like “oh good, she said it already”

[quote] It's odd, because these two groups have historically helped each other out and can continue to do so in the future.

Uh, no. Lesbians may have helped gay men, but gay men have certainly never done anything to help gay women. I made sure to make note of that. They're welcome to seek support from their straight male heroes, see how far that gets you. LOL.

This isn't supposed to be a joke thread, and I'll throw in pathological insecurity as a common lesbian trait. Treating all interactions as battles and seeing anything other than praise as an attack. Lesbians also despise other women and see themselves as a cut above.

[quote] This isn't supposed to be a joke thread

So, now you're openly admitting it's a bashing thread. Whatever. You're a fool to make an enemy out of gay women (your only ally), but I don't think you can help yourself.

Do you Dykes never go into a thread discussing ANY gay man or really ANY person, to see Dataloungers tear everyone apart?

This defensiveness is very “Girls Rule, Boys Drool”

R151 bullshit! Straights have been better allies to me personally. Closet Lesbians made my life hell when I was younger, they’d out me to take the heat off themselves. I never trust a Dyke.

R149, you described Lindsey Graham, who was reported to gloat about going golfing with Trump, the same way a giggling cheerleader might brag about talking to the quarterback of the football team. The flamboyant beta chasing the unavailable straight man, fostering the fantasy that the straight dude will fuck him, only to be used, tossed aside, and laughed at by the straight dude during "locker room talk".

R152, you're right. DLers treat gay men worst of all. DL hates any man who is over 35, who has more than 5% body fat, who has any slightly feminine trait, voice, walk, or behavior. Which is 95 percent of gay men. DL hates gay men.

R153, did those big, bad lesbians beat you up? Were you already treating them like shit when you were a gayling?

If not, then maybe don't judge an entire population by the actions by a small number of people.

R151 I'm not making any enemy out of you, I'm talking about you.

You have flaws.

Says R157 ... who is judging an entire population by the actions by a small number of people. The mental gymnastics of women rivals Deplorables.

R159, half of deplorables are women.

I'm not judging an entire population by a small number of people. Most gay men I meet in person are warm, lovely, kind men. I'm not going to dislike all gay men because a small number of insecure, bitter self-loathing gay men on DL who cling to whatever scapegoat they can find.

The vast majority of gay men on DL are decent, too, as well as funny, as proven in the thread "How to survive as a gay man in your 50s and 60s" and the thread about Brian, the painter, who passed away a few months ago. That's why I keep coming back to DL inspire of the small number of trolls.

Smelling cookies is such a great descriptor. It's understandable why it caught on. It really does best describe the look.

I always think Chris Colfer is the quintessential case. It's kind of look of permanent happiness.

It's the opposite for lesbians. Their look is like permanent stern, disapproving scowl.

There are other indicators for them too perhaps. Heavy jawline and thin lips. But there's comes more styling than gay men who can't help the way they look.

Later in life Glenn Close and Patty Duke are two who, though ostensibly straight, look like lesbians.

Whenever I read threads like this, I think about the way lesbians stepped up for gay men during the AIDS epidemic. Call me humorless and self-righteous, I don’t give a fuck. These threads with a bunch of gay men mocking lesbians and criticizing their appearances and complaining about their personalities... it’s shitty.

Oh lesbians are so ugly, oh they have cane face, oh they are so serious, oh they drive trucks and have short haircuts.

How is this any different from what a bunch of homophobic frat boys and sorority girls would laugh about?

Whatever. Carry on and mock me. But we were there for you when others weren’t. I doubt the lack of makeup and short hair and LL bean vests were an issue then.

Yawn, R162.

If you don't like this thread don't post on it.

And let's just let the rest of us hit F&F at you, ignore, and move on.

R162 speaking as a lesbian, myself - maybe that’s taking it a little too much to heart?

Maybe I’m getting this wrong but, speaking personally, I take all the ribbing to be the affectionate type between siblings who compete and roughhouse. Unless I miss my guess, gay men don’t actually despise us and do value our presence and our sisterhood (at least, more than they do that of Frauen and straight women...), and this is just an elaborate form of macho teasing.

Important to remember that men, regardless of orientation, usually prefer to make fun of something than get into a serious emotional discussion about how they really feel. Whether for reasons of nature or nurture, that’s just the way it seems to be, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Only problem is, this tends to break down communications between the sexes and instigate flame-wars.

And, highly-unlikely worst-case scenario that they all really do hate our guts and want us annihilated? Well, shine on it, sister. Aren’t we used to judgement and exclusion, and aren’t we used to rising above it? Who cares what a different social group think about you, anyway?

Stop being so fucking naive about online social engineering. You have no idea who is posting anything here. You do know that this board has been infested for years and years with bot farms and individuals with specific interests in sowing discord. How much time do you really think gay men spend negatively obsessing about lesbians?

Do you hear a ping?

Does the young Cat Power 'ping' to the lezzes here?

[quote] Maybe I’m getting this wrong but, speaking personally, I take all the ribbing to be the affectionate type between siblings who compete and roughhouse.

You're wrong. Also, you're an idiot.

I drive a Tesla. Some of my best friends are dudes. At 46, I'm a size 8. I have no hard s lisp; my lips aren't thin; I'm not a fan of the Indigo Girls; I've never once worn flannel aside from my winter pajama bottoms; I've never consumed a vegan diet; I've never picked up a cane, softball glove or U-Haul; I'm not divorced from men (or women); I own no cats; other lesbians rarely know I'm gay. I have friends with benefits, a strong career, friends both gay and straight and man and woman, and a perfectly manicured yard. I employ hair products, eyeliner, and now and again a spritz of Narcisso Rodriguez. I have season tickets (pre-COVID) to the symphony and opera.

Sporty types, pocket squares, and militant women ain't for me.

Yes, it's a very lonely space.

R169 You sound cool. In a similar boat; I’m slim, lowkey and leisurely, dog-loving (cats reek, they’re bitchy and disloyal, and I’m allergic), meat-eating, pushbike-riding, sports-inept, metalhead and performing-arts writer, with long hair and a liking for a good EDP that is anything but ck. I have very good skin with no warts or anything, shave my body and wash my vagina daily, and never wear a watch (it fucks with your biorhythms). I don’t smoke or vape, or drink outside of an aperitif now and then. I dislike nutloaf and BBQ, can’t do DIY or anything manual and handy (beyond a little basic bike maintenance), own no garment in fleece or flannel or having breast pockets (wth? am I Gates or Jobs?). Isn’t it uncomfortable rolling your sleeves past your elbow? I can’t abide televised sport. I distrust Taylor Swift and don’t find her attractive; I don’t even know who or what the Indigo Girls are. Native American lore is for Native Americans, as far as I’m concerned. I’m disorganised, mellow and upbeat, and laissez-faire to say the least. I speak in a quiet soft voice (too quiet, some say), and I have the opposite of caneface if the number of strangers who come up to me thinking I’m good for a friendly chitchat is any indication. Relationship-wise, there is no trail of tears behind me (no exes, let alone divorces or kids), and unfortunately I dislike my father. Most women don’t understand me on a social level, and other gay women tend to treat me with jealousy and suspicion, so I basically have to hang out with clueless straight girls and guys.

This, I will give credence to:

[quote] They give next to no shits about men. Watch any straight woman interact with a man and you'll see a presentation put on, even if she's not attracted to him. Lesbians don't put on the show.

It is so funny to watch an unlikeable straight man glitch out when you don’t give him anything. I suppose you could call me paranoid at times, too, though more specifically I’d sooner call it social anxiety.

Have to admit that I wear hiking boots as often as I can get away with, as well as a thumb-ring (the eternal lesbian batsignal). I will also cop to being underemployed and working more ‘macho’ jobs (courier, etc), and liking country music divas, but that’s mostly situational and due to my upbringing. To me R131/oldlez’s life sounds like the future dream.

R69/R80 my Gen Z sister dresses in this style, and she is Hetero as they come (engaged to a well-endowed and rich Egyptian, no less).

R153 interesting. I was a closeted little dyke, bullied by other closeted little dykes in school. We don’t teach or socialise our girls well in this society, and make no mistake it’s due to misogyny and homophobia at root.

I love R72, she knows the score.

Patty Duke in her later years always looked like she should have been clutching a gym whistle.

Speaking of women named Patty: Ms. Jenkins the director has the distinct lesbian aura according to the spec here, no?

And Charlize is a good example of a non-stereotypical femme dyke.

On DL- posting walls of text, referencing multiple other posts like footnotes as part of your own highly detailed post.

The human ego is a strange thing. R170 felt compelled to write a detailed description of herself, her appearance, her interests, and her lifestyle to an anonymous audience of people who will never see her and never meet her, presumably most of all to convince herself of the rarity of her kind.

R170 has overwhelmed us, to the point we can’t make fun of her. She is simply tedious.

[quote]I can take a joke. The problem is that there's nothing funny on this thread.

How will anyone know if something is funny if they don't make the joke in the first place? Everyone should be able to attempt to be funny and risk being embarrassed or laughed out of the room; if it's not funny then it isn't funny. Big deal, move on.

[quote]DL hates gay men.

Gay men and straight women are the majority of DLers so that's not surprising!

[quote]Later in life Glenn Close and Patty Duke are two who, though ostensibly straight, look like lesbians.

You don't find it funny that the two examples you put forth to illustrate your ubiquitous lesbian stereotype are straight women?

Ostensibly straight, I said.

And no.

Why would I?

I'd put Peter Sarsgaard forward as a good example of gay voice.

They aren't ostensibly straight, R179. They are straight. The only thing that seems to make you think they are ostensibly straight is that they fit your lesbian stereotype. You lack logic.

Glenn looks gay. Very.

It's only in recent years I thought that. Not when she was young.

Hate men.

Look like men.

Did someone ever once look at Rosie O and think she was straight?

I clocked this chick somehow based on her professional photo. I think it's the unstyled hair+ light makeup and natural brows.

Lesbians only look like they’re smelling cookies when they have to enter the girl’s changing rooms after gym class because... eh... reasons.

In the 60s, a woman I worked with told me "pinky rings are the clue."

R187 Up until fairly recently they were still doing that in the military.

I have a sense of humor.

But all jokes must first be submitted in writing to the Sappho Advysory Board then, after a round of discussion, may be referred to the Councyl of Womyn who will vote on whether there are sufficient grounds to make the joke (ie, whether it’s transphobic, misandrist, homophobic, or dated enough to make it worth saying).

There is NO appeals process.

[quote] There is NO appeals process.

Boundaries CANNOT be unstated.

Wall of text posts that sprawl on down the thread endlessly...

Carry weight in the midsection, not the thighs like straight women.

R169 let's fuck. Do any of your girls have you go into downward dog on your knees? For the boys on this thread that's how real lesbians present hole to one another. My favorite! I'm an automotive enthusiast first, entrepreneur cool chill bih... would you be willing to drop to a size 4 and we can meet?

R192 LMAO that makes no sense.

As this thread has proved over and over and over again the one defining characteristic is not a lack of sense of humour but *is* a total inability to laugh at oneself.

Lesbians don’t laugh… ever.

Lesbian humor is like German humor, or Scandanavian humor- totally incomprehensible to me, but it definitely exists.

I have witnessed them having fun.

I don't get the "lesbians aren't funny" here. Several I know are spectacularly funny.

Then you mustn’t have read this thread, R198.

Come hither...

Lesbian jokes usually consist of them just trying to push their agenda in joke form.

Lesbians are funniest in their teens and 20s, when they’re doing their insecure Court Jester act, then they hit their 30s & 40s and morph into staunch angry militants with flat effect personalities. I think it’s a hormone shift thing.

For a group of people that have built entire industries on the backs of women (hair, fashion, design, theatre), y'all sure are some bitter queens. A lot of you owe your entire livelihoods to women.

Why don't the lesbians here add something?

Why would they, R204? The one poster above with the thoughtful "wall of text" got flayed. Another one that was "I'm nothing like the stereotypes on here" was totally ignored.

Should we rename this thread "common lesbian traits?" Would that help?

Here's a thread with a little more depth for you. The same idiots have posted the same idiotic crap there as here but they are outnumbered by some actual discussion.

[R39] Yes!! I was going to post the same thing. It's difficult to describe, but it's a hard, muted "S". As soon as I hear that, it's a bingo! Jodie is a perfect example of it.

R208, YES!! Jodie Foster is a perfect example!!! I would venture to say that about 40 percent have it.

NOT FUNNY!!!

Holly Hunter was thought to be a dyke by DL back in the day.

The speech impediment, the thin lips, the scrappy attitude...

R200, I thought she was fucking that dude in her band-?

[quote] Whenever I read threads like this, I think about the way lesbians stepped up for gay men during the AIDS epidemic.

Whenever I read comments like this I think about my sister who emotionally blackmailed me for years after doing me a favor once when we were kids.

There are a limited number of times that lesbians can cash that AIDS check.

You're overdrawn.

[quote]Whenever I read threads like this, I think about the way lesbians stepped up for gay men during the AIDS epidemic.

What a leap to make. But you're used to that.

Who's the lesbian equivalent to Frankie Grande? A face that you could never believe was a heterosexual's?

R213, maybe the lesbians are waiting for gay men to do something good for them in return. Check your privilege, little boy.

Gay men have privilege and are now referred to as "little boy"?

R216 sounds old, cis, and white. You check your privilege, hunny.

As a kid I always figured Miss Jane on The Beverly Hillbillies looked like she would prefer Ellie Mae over Jethro.

No, R217, just that asshole poster whining about his sister like a child. But, if you'd like to counter my other point, go ahead and list for me anything gay men have done for lesbians in the last 40 years...or ever.

Why do you think gay men exist to do things for lesbians who call us privileged?

So, couldn't come up with even one thing R221? Because the point I was addressing from the original asshole was concerning that very thing. Do try to keep up.

I disagree with your premise: gay men do not exist to do things for lesbians.

And gay men do not have privilege, saying so is homophobic.

So, you're an idiot who doesn't even understand the context of the entire conversation, R223? Got it.

Well, there's another way to spot a lesbian: belligerence to gay men who refuse to center lesbians, and an unironic disdain for transwomen in another thread.

[quote] Whenever I read threads like this, I think about the way lesbians stepped up for gay men during the AIDS epidemic.

Whenever I read that knee-jerk response from lesbians to anything on DL they don't like, I think about its homophobia:

1) Implication that dying of AIDS and hearing a joke about Subarus are equally horrific.

2) Implication that gay men weren't the primary victims and caregivers of the AIDS crisis amounting to erasure of gay men.

I don't know. Gay men are pretty shitty humans. Never understood why women don't get that if gay men had the chance, they'd wipe you all out. They are in competition with you even if you are sexually unavailable to guys like me.

Source: have had guys I'm seeing harass girls I'm seeing, but never vice versa.

[quote] Gay men are pretty shitty humans.

F&F.

The audacity of a bisexual calling anyone else a shitty human. Most of you are cheating, selfish assholes.

Geez. I think I see now why humanity is fucked.

That you think you're owed something for caring for the sick... suggests you didn't really care for them.

R220 Well, Miss Little Raincloud pissing misery wherever she goes, gay men created your social outlet and mistakenly gave you access to it. You do not appear to be improving Datalounge with your presence.

[quote]That you think you're owed something for caring for the sick... suggests you didn't really care for them.

No lesbian on this thread actually cared for AIDS patients, R231. The lesbians' taking credit for the contributions of a previous generation have probably never knowingly been near anyone dying of AIDS. It's like being proud of wars your ancestors fought and won. Just because a woman *also* happens to be a lesbian doesn't mean she can take credit for other lesbians' altruistic deeds.

Yes, the ones who think they're owed something from gay men for caring for sick friends and family never actually did that.

So, it's not enough gay men ruined their mother's lives, they have to piss all over gay women they've never met too. Don't you ever take a rest?

[quote] [R213], maybe the lesbians are waiting for gay men to do something good for them in return. Check your privilege, little boy.

Ah. Hit a nerve, just as I though I would.

Check your own fucking privilege, you arrogant, desperate, manipulative cunt.

I'm old. I was there in the plague years of the 80's and there were NO DYKES taking care of my friends. We took care of each other, a few straight people helped - usually relations of someone with the virus. We owe you nothing.

The fact that you are still trying to trade on that shit and use it as emotional blackmail against gay men FORTY YEARS LATER tells me you're a user, an abuser, a thief of other's sacrifices and a miserable fucking cow. You use dying gay men from forty years ago to browbeat and abuse gay men today. This is why no one likes you.

Now that you weigh 300 pounds and are covered in hair (dog, cat and yours) it's probably best that you spend your time in your "art" she-shed with a big dildo. Fake dick's better than no dick, honey.

Baxter-Birney has the TYPICAL smoker's face. All dried up like a mummified raisin...

R138 R140 (...) R211 R231 R234 R236 This person has written almost 50 replies in this thread alone.

Some gems from his posting history:

- Says that Bruce Jenner looks better than actual women

- Derailed a thread about a Moroccan tranny responsible for the suicides of multiple gay men

- Thinks little gay boys should be introduced to cross-dressing and drag

- Spends his entire time screeching about women (specially lesbians) and calling them "TERFs", "fish", "dykes", "cis", etc

- Believes all women are narcissists

- Claims that he came here for "Lucille Ball discussions", yet his posting history shows that he's just a pathetic, psychotic troll

This is what mental illness and crippling mommy issues look like, kids.

I'm not R236.

R238 is wrong.

I'm R236, cited as being in amongst the posts of the person she's stalking and attacking. The posts she's citing don't have anything to do with her additional laundry list of accusations against him.

I do call TERFs TERFs, and although she hurls it as some kind of accusation, I'm okay with it.

I'd say that R238 is the one with Mommy and Daddy issues, poor thing.

IDK, R240. Your posts DO suggest a mild MH issue. Very mean and nasty. So, something happened to you.

Just saying.

Crazy anti-woman, anti-lesbian troll lost his little mind and got called out and lined out. Stupid fuck.

[quote] The fact that you are still trying to trade on that shit and use it as emotional blackmail against gay men FORTY YEARS LATER tells me you're a user, an abuser, a thief of other's sacrifices and a miserable fucking cow.

JFC. You are even more melodramatic than the lezzies who are grievously wounded by harmless Subaru and cat hair jokes.

Guess the dykes got R240 blocked. It's not coming up in my thread.

Let's have names, dates, places, and stories of the particular gay men you cared for then, dykes.

Damn, R245 has 48 posts on this thread. That's FORTY-EIGHT fucking hateful posts. He (she?) is responsible for 20 percent of the 245 posts on this thread. Wow. R245 hates lesbians. Hates them. Really, really hates them. Worse than straight women and straight women. Worse than Republicans. Worse than Trump.

Of all the people on the planet who want to hurt gay men, why is he so fucking OBSESSED with his negative feelings about lesbians?

You do this all the time.

Try to equate jokes about nutloaf to a gay-bashing.

If you wanted to keep a light tone, you could've.

I don't want to look like a lesbian. I don't look like a lesbian do I?

Morgan, honey, at this point you don't even look like human matter.

Racoon eyes?

R247 So true.

Trolls, everywhere..........

R244, they are all here. Maybe you blocked

No, I can see there other posts, just not R240.

*their

R12 But Rosario isn't a lesbian

All these silly stereotypes are about butches, and anyone can spot a butch lesbian. What about feminine ones? Also, I don't get the no humor thing, when all thr funniest female comedians are lesbians. And the percentage of lesbians is huge among comedians. I don't know that many male gay comedians.

Most of those lesbian comedians -- Ellen, Rosie, Paula Poundstone -- have a reputation for being not so funny offstage.

R258 Ellen was somewhat funny in her early days. There are also Tig Notaro, Kate Mckinnon.. And who are the funny straight female comedians then?

My point was that IRL all of those women are known being pieces of work.

They don't disprove this thread, they prove it.

R258 Paula Poundstone is asexual, not a lesbian.

Well... we can discuss the extent to which most lesbians are asexual.

But even if she isn't a lesbian, Paula is most assuredly a dyke.

Odd, R254 bc I see it.

I'm getting R240 now.

That was strange. I assume the lesbians must've been F&Fing it earlier.

Lesbians really hate any pushback on that tale about them doing all the caring during the Plague.

GOOD EXAMPLE:

Kathleen Wynne, former Premiere of Ontario.

They heard that a small number of old, dead lesbians once did a compassionate thing and forty years later they go around trying guilt-trip people about it.

I like that I piss them off so much.

Did they even do it?

I let my hair air dry and don't straighten it, despite the frizz. Also, I have an undercut. I skateboarded as a teen. I did MMA in my twenties. Love flat boots, sweatpants and oversized shirts. I have big hands and feet.

Oh - and I LOVE dick. Can't go more than a week without it.

I wouldn't ever want to touch a pussy, let alone have it anywhere near my mouth.

Which is too bad because straight men can be fucking exhausting.

I'm a straight woman and I found this thread hilarious until all the fighting.

If you don't like it, don't read it - that's datalounge for you.

Lesbians always want to fight about everything.

They should go to their own website and fight there, we don't want them.

They have their own website -- LChat -- and they do not let men near it.

Unlike DL.

Always dressed like about to go hiking.

R269, you walk like a duck, talk like a duck. AND you are on a gay site.......

You may want to exercise some self discovery.

They walk by clomping.

Do you think either of these women could possible by sapphic sisters?

Possible dyke-face?

Is the woman at R275 the one who had to be tipped out of a deck chair to get up?

I want to know more about this hard, muted S sound that r39 and r208 have observed.

I want to know more about this hard, muted S sound that r39 and r208 have observed.

R279, it's a dead giveaway. I'm not R39 or R208, but it's the women equivalent of a guy's gay voice. You just know it when you hear it. Kind of a tight-lipped (a lot of lesbians have thin lips), pursed-mouth, hardish-soft "s" exemplified precisely by Jodie Foster and older gay women over the age of mid-forties. I'm a femme gay woman, and all I have to do is hear an older gay woman speak and 99% of the time, I can tell if she's gay or straight. The younger generation is different . . . but the rules don't seem to apply to them in general.

Open a can of StarKist tuna and wave it around in the air for a few seconds, all types of pussy will come sniffing around and licking themselves- feline and “feMALE”........

Why don't one of you speaking about Jodie Foster and her lesbian 's' sound link to a clip? Clearly no one knows what you're talking about. Everyone knows exactly what you're talking about with the gay guy voice so I'm not sure I'm buying the 's' thing.

Lesbians don’t open their mouth when they talk… They mumble

Nasty scowl. Look angry all the time. Gay men look joyful.

The effortless beauty coupled with the keen intelligence in their eyes

R285 - she really was a babe back in her "Bridget Loves Bernie" days.

I would just draw them on with a Sharpie.

In high school I always could spot a lesbian by how much they outed me. Closet Dykes made my life hell in high school trying to project & deflect attention onto me. I’ve met a lot of lesbians who are sociopaths, way more than gay men.

They use both hands to point when speaking.

Not kidding.

For your consideration

OP- It's NOT Dyke-dar, it's LESBI-dar.

Two words: Nancy McKeon

🙊 🙉 🙈

Why don't you just ask ?

Most , if not ALL of my female gym teachers in Junior high school and high school were LESBIANS.

My female gym teacher in Junior high drove a JEEP and a MOTORCYCLE- EXTREMELY Lesbian vehicles.

She has a Lebanese passport.

R292 What does Nancy McKeon has to do with anything?

R236 has stated her boundaries and her outrage.

Wow, I didn't realize R236 had been doing this crap for years, their post is from 2020 but it sounds just like something they posted earlier today.

You use the lightest touch to help lift the bar off the rack.

As she’s lowering the bar to her chest, you pay attention to see if she needs any help to raise bar back up.

And when she reaches exhaustion, you quickly grab the bar with both hands to put it back in place on the rack.

Uh, is R299 in the wrong thread or is there some lesbian kink thing I don't know about?

Back on topic, it's all in how they react to men. And, what I've noticed that is really strange, is that in simple social situations even some of the most dense straight men seem to pick up on the fact that we lesbians aren't paying attention to them to the same degree as the straight girls.

R300, you’ve never spotted a lesbian?

What are you talking about, R301? I am one and have spotted plenty. Did you mean a different poster?

Some of us go to gyms that have lesbians. And some of us don’t.

R299 is mostly correct.

She was the sporty tomboy who befriended you in 4th grade.

She is the sporty tomboy who defends you now, too.

[quote] She is the sporty tomboy who defends you now, too.

No, she's the one who does nothing but attack gay men. But whatever.

The resident lesbianphobe on this thread makes me wonder. He's so paranoid that lesbians are trying to destroy him. Is he watching the CPAC event today? Those are his real enemies. Not some harmless lesbians.

Alice's cousin on The Brady Bunch.

[quote] Is he watching the CPAC event today?

Doubt it. But a lot of lesbians are. Y'know, the ones who link to Focus on the Family and the Heritage Foundation to tell us why gay men having children is bad.

My husband's a Texan. Shortly after he moved to New England he said he was surprised to see so many lesbians, especially the ones with five or six kids.

I asked him how he could tell? He said they all drove vans, didn't bother getting dressed up and instead wore sloppy-looking clothing, had short haircuts, wore no earrings or jewelry, didn't wear makeup, and the kids all carried huge duffel bags. Apparently in Texas, all women - lesbians included - spend two hours putting on makeup so they look they're hardly wearing any makeup before leaving the house.

I asked him to point one out the next time he saw one. He did and I had to explain to him that she wasn't a lesbian, she was a hockey mom.

All Aussie women look black-belt muff divers.

R310, I don't think it's lesbians who "tell you why gay men having children is bad". A lot of lesbians have kids themselves. I think it's straight men and women who are telling that. And some gay men who enjoy their freedom from the heterosexualist society "life script". Why so paranoid against lesbians?

R311, wait until he visits Nebraska, where all the straight women wear plaid shirts, jeans, short haircuts, and comfortable shoes.

R311 What's the difference between a hockey mom and a soccer mom?

[quote] This thread is not funny.

A more lesbian sentence was never written.

[quote]What's the difference between a hockey mom and a soccer mom?

Latitude.

[quote]I don't think it's lesbians who "tell you why gay men having children is bad". A lot of lesbians have kids themselves. I think it's straight men and women who are telling that.

Nope. The homophobe at R1 on this thread below claims to be a lesbian:

So far the only lesbian contributions that I can see on this thread involve telling gay men something about how hateful it is because of AIDS.

"He's so paranoid that lesbians are trying to destroy him"

When he's not screeching about trannies trying to castrate him.

R318 Wow, one lesbian that hates gay men. Or anonymous poster that says s/he's a lesbian. All lesbians must be gay hayers then.

I was looking at a website a while back (can't it now unfortunately) and it was listing forgotten female authors of Golden Age mysteries. Alongside each one it had a little bio and in some cases a photo. I was immediately struck when I saw a very grainy 1930s photo of a woman and KNEW right away that she was a lesbian. The website didn't mention it, but I googled her right away and discovered I was right.

Unfortunately I can't remember her name or find the website in my history. All I remember is that she taught at the University of Aberystwyth and, of course, wrote mystery novels.

If anyone knows her name a Google search will show I'm right.

Kathleen Wynne, former Premiere of Ottawa.

Look at the shoes and for a lack of a handbag.

I was watching What's My Line clips and the second the Mayor of Ottawa -- Catherine Whitton, I think her name was -- walked out I could tell she was a huge dyke.

I find it increasingly hard to spot older lesbians because so many older straight woman just give up trying to be feminine now, they look like old men; short grey haircuts, no makeup, jeans and shirts, sensible shoes etc.

There's a difference between butch women and straight women who've let themselves go.

Not much of one, R327. The even funnier part is when old men look like lesbians.

No, I often see straight women with low-maintenance (ie, short) hairstyles, no makeup, and wearing just fleeces and sweatpants. They're common in flyover land.

It's really easy to tell the difference between them and lesbians -- especially in person. Lesbians walk by clomping and aim to take up space. Even straight women who've given up on their appearances still like to be treated like ladies by men and will act up to that. Something no lesbian does.

How, exactly, do you know all those "clomping" women are lesbians? I agree that lesbians don't play up to men like straight women do but that takes some interaction time, not just walking by doing some sort of horse impression as you seem to think. It's like saying that all gay men flounce and swish. You just aren't seeing the "non-clomping" lesbians because you are assuming they are straight.

How the fuck do you know men who use the fabulous as they describe the Cosmo they just ordered are gay?

Re: older women (lesbian and straight) who "give up" on their appearance. (Stop dyeing hair, stop wearing makeup, wear mostly "home" clothes.)

I agree that it's harder to figure out whether a woman is a lesbian or not, just by looks.

I disagree. An unkempt straight woman and a butch lesbian don't look exactly the same. Take a look at straight female celebrities who are papped looking a mess, they don't look the same as a Lea DeLaria or Ellen or Rosie.

So, blue hair? Gay or nay?

R334 When in doubt...

But according to that, R335, blue hair can mean millennial social justice warrior, depressed millennial, or gay/lesbian. We need some definitive identifier, dammit, because my gaydar isn't wired properly.

R336 Okay, so YMMV.

I wish we could go back to the handkerchief days or something like that. It must be nice to be straight and know that like 90% of the people you like are also straight without question.