Let's be lesbians on Halloween

I'm all of the lewd comments about Jennifer Love Hewitt's boobs during the 'I Know What You Did Last Summer' marathon!

Hey, Pat and Carol! We’re over here already:

I'm the oohing and aaahing over the baby dyke's Captain Marvel costume.

I'm Trumpkins- still a thing in this house!

I'm an FTM complaining bitterly about male superhero costumes not having tit space.

I'm the not-actually-a-gay bar dive the young lezzies have adopted as their own. There's a downlow lesbian Halloween party here tonight!

(Invitation only.)

I'm the boy's blazer section at Goodwill being ransacked Halloween morning.

I'm the obscure graphic novel characters they're all dressing up as.

I'm the casserole that everyone brought for the potluck.

Owner of the dive here.

Both my good bartenders are lezzies so I did them a solid and told the regulars to stay away tonight.

I'm the ex-stripper lez sluttin' it up behind the bar in my slutty sailor moon costume. I may or may not get any tips.

I'm the ornamental squash that keeps getting stolen and subsequently replaced every 15 minutes.

I'm NOT FUNNY.

I’m Alex, strong in my orange Home Depot work apron, ‘cinched‘ with a huge black tool belt—moving from party to party in a rented U-Haul truck.

I'm the butch lesbian who refused to dress up because my superior intellect considers it childish and unbecoming. I still came to the party in men's jeans, Dickies shirt, a ball cap and sandals. Some people think I'm actually dressed up as a butch lesbian though.

I am the Wiccan will endlessly inform everyone at the party that I do not celebrate Halloween, I celebrate Samhain.

I'm where the Faux Hawk trend went to die: Lesbians.

Lesbians are the Fat Hawk graveyard.

R15 LMAO you took mine.

I'm the aura of wisdom surrounding her. The baby dykes think she's so deep.

We're Gia, Lea, Nia, Tia, Mia, Bria, the other Lea, Sophie, Corey, Dannie, Mac, and Sean. We're lesbians under 30.

I'm the cozy married couple who baked enough intricate Halloween-themed Pinterest cookies for several office parties. Where are all these cookies going?

I'm the yearly viewing of Carrie (1976) featuring a debate over the hottest women. Norma wins.

R16 I will also pronounce it incorrectly every time.

I'll bring the spooky Halloween sounds CD that I found at a yard sale in Denver in 1996. My cat (RIP Mystic) scratched it but it should still play.

I'm the attractive young femme couple who came as Jennifer Tilly and Gina Gershon in "Bound."

Everyone is very complimentary and secretly jealous.

I'm the subgroup of guests which has seemingly formed a "party within the party" and which is obvious ro the other party guests.

I'm the party's hottest drink- straight liquor. The irony is not lost on the funny lesbian!

I'm the faint whiff of tilapia wafting o'er the event.

I'm the basketball lesbians, the soccer lesbians, the softball lesbians, the EDM lesbians, the country lesbians, the hoodrat lesbians, and the artsy lesbians all sticking to their own kind throughout the party.

Occasionally someone will circulate to say hello to former and potential girlfriends before returning back to the huddle.

While the Christians are whining about having their church services canceled, spare a moment for me, the much-beloved Samhain festival that won't be taking place this year because the white male merchants of death chose to spread COVID rather than contain it. Fuck you very much.

R29 huh?

I'm the lesbian who came as Kate McKinnon as Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

I'm a cool Datalounger lesbian, and I'll be attending a costume party as a nutloaf. Even if they don't get it, I'm hoping a sexy lady may want a taste of me.

I'm R16 solemnly nodding in agreement with whatever R29 said. Speak, sister. Teach.

I'm the Roseanne costume made from my existing wardrobe.