Jake Gyllenhaal "I'm Cut OKAY?"

Why would someone not automatically assume that a 40 year old white American guy IS NOT cut? If he were 30, maybe.

His mother is Jewish. He is Jewish.

It's no surprise that he was the victim of infant genital mutilation.

It's no surprise R2's mother dropped him on his head on numerous occasions.

Why would he feel the need to announce that he's circumcised? People might be asking but that doesn't mean he has to answer.

[quote]So do you guys have any other questions?

How heavy are your balls Jake?

What is your favorite sexual position, Jake?

Sounds like he's been reading the DL. Hi Jake!!!! Some of us love you.

Hey Jake!! How is Tom, Jake?

Have you ever rimmed your brother-in-law Peter?

Pictures or this thread is useless.

Opposites attract.

Show me the evidence.

Didn't Jake show his penis in a movie already?

He's insanely hot. No wonder DL is obsessed.

While you're being so obliging. Do you swallow every time or only when you're really in love?

He is not even somewhat attractive.

So he doesn't whine if you move your hand two millimetres in the wrong direction and his dick is nicer to look at.

Him yelling this is what ruined this date

He's the Timothy Chalamet of 2006.

Why did your sister marry a friend of Dorothy? What's the point? Is she a closeted lesbian? We have the right to know.

[quote]Fug then fug now

R19 is half blind and has terrible taste in men.

What a relief!

Kirsten Dunst is proof Jake is a huge mo. No hetero guy finds that weird fanged wraith creature attractive.

Sad, but Jake is mutilated and not quite as appealing. Jake, you ruined my fantasy.

At least we know he doesn’t stink down there.

You can’t play with his anteater because he doesn’t have one!

Sounds like exasperating drama from a drama queen. Oh Jake...

[quote]Why would he feel the need to announce that he's circumcised? People might be asking but that doesn't mean he has to answer. '

Because a story came out that at a friend's wedding he made a toast and reported that among all his friends, the groom was the only uncircumcised. And don't ask how he knew, I know all my friend's status, we've talked about it.

It seems like a peculiar disclosure to make at a wedding toast, even if it's for the same of making people laugh.

...even if it's for the SAKE of making people laugh.

[quote] It seems like a peculiar disclosure to make at a wedding toast, even if it's for the same of making people laugh.

Maybe he was at a gay wedding?

Jake Gyllenhaal gave a toast at the wedding of his childhood friend, Chris Fischer, who married comedienne Amy Schumer. It was at their wedding when Gyllenhaal shared way too much information. And now it's part of the new documentary about Amy and her husband on HBO.

If we get to ask one more question, Jake, is your asshole hairy?

I think he's been catching some shit because it was recently reported that when he toasted one of his friends at their wedding he announced the guy was uncut.

[quote]The Brokeback Mountain legend made an appearance in Amy Schumer's new HBO Max documentary Expecting Amy, a three-part series that chronicles the comedian and actor's pregnancy journey with her husband and chef Chris Fischer (who Jake is childhood friends with), and during a scene in the doc where Jake and two other childhood friends are giving a toast to Chris and Amy during their 2018 wedding, Jake gets hilariously candid about their...junk.

[quote]Yup. Specifically, how he himself is circumcised, while Chris is the only person in their friend group who isn't.

[quote]"We’re going to start this off with Chris is the only uncircumcised one amongst the four of us, which was a mystery to us as young boys because we only knew the penis to be one way," Gyllenhaal, who has worked with Amy on her Comedy Central show Inside Amy Schumer before, said in his toast.

[quote]Maybe he was at a gay wedding?

Everyone would already know at a gay wedding.

Photo or it’s not true

I need to sample and confirm for myself in person.

The real question is, why the hell is there an HBO documentary on Schumer and her husband? Who's the target audience for that? Someone stuck in 2015?

I also want to know why Amy Schumer‘s husband is uncut. Gross.

Jake Gyllenhaal has been my favorite actor since, well, I don't remember which movie, but at least since he did the Terry Richardson spread in Arena+ Homme (or however you arrange those words). It never occurred to me that such an NJB from LA would be uncut.

It never mattered to me, anyone's circumcisedness, until I found Datalounge, where the "mutilated!" shriekers are among our least kind posters.

M U T I L A A A A A T E D D O N G!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What a desolate and wasteful start of life.

OTOH, r44, being you seems desolate and wasteful.

R45 being so defensive. Your clit has been mutilated too? SAD!

I wouldn’t call it mutilation but I don’t see the point in circumcision either(if one’s not religious). Keep the cock clean then all is fine by me.

Not "mutilated," r46, [italic]perfected[/italic]. My parents cared enough that I not look like a freak, going through life with what looked like an anteater growing between my legs. Thank God I had my parents, not yours or David F's.

I thought he was bragging about his physique. I was like, “Okay, Miss THANG!”

My follow-up question would be, “YES! OK! Do you want to blow your load down my throat, to fill my mouth with it, to splatter it all over my face with that perfectly cut cum cannon?”

I love that hairy Jew!

[quote]"I'm Cut OKAY?"

So THAT'S the question he's asked a lot about and was defensive about answering?

Sometimes Jake says stupid shit and his attempts at humor are awkward, but yeah, I think he is one of the best actors of his generation, and he is top three hottest actors out here. Seriously.

OK. Who are the other two hottest actors?

The correct response is, “Prove it in my mouth.”

In all seriousness, I think it’s fascinating that anyone who ever asked this at work could be fired on the spot.

In an office: “Are you cut?” = fired.

In an office: “Tell me about your clit” = fired.

On a press junket to an actress: “Tell me about your clit” = fired + scandal.

On a press junket to an actor: “Are you cut?” = hahaha!

Yummers!

Jake's mutilated dong must be unnaturally freakish under thick amazonian pubes. FREAKISH!!!!

I could have sworn there was a pic of Gyllenhaal with his dick out somewhere, or is that a false memory, or did I visit another very similar dimension and actually see it?

At 21:12, Jack Whitehall admits to Jennifer Lawrence that he is uncut .

r59, if it existed, I would know.

R59 There are lot of nude fakes of Jake out there. Some of them are pretty well done, too.

"There are lot of nude fakes of Jake out there. Some of them are pretty well done, too."

Hello!

R63 If only...

[quote] It never mattered to me, anyone's circumcisedness, until I found Datalounge, where the "mutilated!" shriekers are among our least kind posters.

The mutilated posters are one side of a coin, and the stank sleeve posters are the other.

Those of us who are normal have a place in our hearts for both kinds of penes.

He said it to make you imagine his cock.

You know some guys are really good at talking dirty. They really know how to be suggestive and seductive, and cool. Jake isn't one of them.

I can’t wait to hear Jake’s speech from the new baby’s Bris.

Does anyone else call him Jake Gyllenhole?

I called him Jake Givinghole.

All male celebrities should reveal whether they are cut or uncut.

R71, all male celebrities should reveal their peens.

R71 It could be the new ice buck challenge, for Covid-19, and they have to flash to prove it.

OK, Jake, but what about the girth?

[quote]I called him Jake Givinghole.

[quote]—H. Ledger

I called him Jake Nastyhole

Never saw the penis. Can't confirm or deny.

R76 I've seen it and it's spectacular.

I love an uncut cock, but I don't give a shit WHAT he's got, I'd do him.

For ole times sake.

Jake Gyllenhaal's obit will read: He was fucked in a tent by oscar winner Heath Ledger.

R48 Tearing off the most nerve-rich part of the penis and leaving behind lifelong scar tissue means you were "perfected"? This is the definition of a coping mechanism.

R80 is obviously one of the shriekers described in r43.

R81 I don't believe it's ethical to tear off parts of a baby's genitalia, male or female. Does that make me a shrieker? Good.

I'm very, very glad you weren't my father, r82. Then I'd be stuck with a smegmatron, because you think it's "unethical" not to have one. Spare me your sanctimony. Circumcision is the ONLY right choice.

It’s not hard to have good hygiene. You don’t need to be circumcised. More and more people are becoming conscious about the trauma of circumcising babies without anesthesia. More and more educated people are refusing to do this. Not everyone is Jewish and Muslim and please, a covenant with God. Gimme a break!

Jake is dumb and his eyes are too close together. But he is untalented and America is superficial so I’m sure he’ll have a great career in Hollywood

If R83 is so lazy that he thinks rolling a piece of skin back whilst showering is some kind of impossibility of personal hygiene, I dread to think of what his tops have encountered.

If r86 thinks "rolling a piece of skin back whilst showering" is something I ever think about outside of these Datalounge skirmishes, the cheese has gone to his (upper) head.

The thread has been lost to the "uncut" freaks. They always are when the word " penis" is mentioned.

Bring uncut is not freakish. It’s natural. It may not be the norm in the US but it is worldwide

Muriel should ban all the cut is unnatural obsessives. They derail 50% of the threads.

in fact I think many of them are just trolls who have figured out a way to derail threads

Jake Gymmiehole

Isn’t he dating Miss Intergalactic Universe from afar??

I just imagine given his other features that he's pretty girthy. Pretty and girthy, in fact.

OKAY, Jake, now are you a shooter or a dribbler?

I would have gotten ALL the answers one he let that one slip.

R73. I think you’re on to something!

Being cut is beautiful. I'm sure Jake has a pleasant dick.

^^ I wouldn't know.

He’s currently dating Simenona, formerly Mrs. Seth MacFarland. She grew up in her grandfather’s Castle, San Simenona.

Simenoma is a professional beard.

Please don't infect this thread with that trash. PLEASE.

I had Simenoma. My dermatologist cut it off.

It’s hilarious the amount of ignorance these uncut dumbasses have.

R56 I agree. It is a sexist double standard to constantly ask men if they have skin removed on their genitals or not. Regardless what you think of the practise (which kills innocent boys every year btw), asking female celebs about their genital shape wouldn't be tolerated.

Well, it's fucking 2020 and I think cutting a baby is barbaric and despicable. If I want my damned Penis cut to remove the foreskin I will have it done my damned self. They do this to a baby and he has no say in it. Fuck that.

r105 Yet another lunatic I'm glad had nothing to do with my upbringing (or my penis's).

If you regard it as barbaric, that may be true. So are ear piercing and other kinds of piercing, tattooing, rhinoplasty, breast enhancement, fractional laser skin resurfacing, Botox and hyaluronic acid injections. Sometimes fucking is barbaric and brutal. Sometimes human beings are brutal and primitive. A whole lot of human culture involves doing things that are objectively unreasonable, irrational and self-harmful.

[quote]It is a sexist double standard to constantly ask men if they have skin removed on their genitals or not.

I disagree. All male celebrities should be asked if they are cut or uncut. It should be automatically included in their bios along with age and place of birth.

I’d like to see his head shot.

[quote]I’d like to see his head shot.

I'd like to see his head shoot.

I’d like to feel his head shoot inside me.

Can we use Change.org to start a petition to see Jake's doctor's handiwork?

For science!

Why don’t these anteater freaks walk around with their umbilical cords?

R113

What if I grew my Jewskin back. Would that shut your obsessive fagalas mouths?

R115 You can only regrow your penis on an arm but not your foreskin.