Inside Nate Berkus and Jeremiah Brent’s NYC Townhouse

Oh these queers are completely insufferable. I

Even Oprah told him a daily talk show wasn't for him but he was such a fame whore that he did it anyways. She produced it for him but it rightfully flopped. He's a fucking designer. Who wants to hear him talk about other things. He did the special with Lisa Ling from NO after Hurricane Katrina and apparently thought he could be a talk show host. He was so wrong.

Vulgar

“Chapeau” means “hat”.

Is it wrong that I wish they would get Covid?

humble hat

Like budgies falling in love with their own reflections in the mirror.

They’re both pocket gays, but Jeremiah is the top?

r4, turn in your gay card:

Belle : I behalf of everyone here, I would like to welcome you to our humble chapeau!

Benjy Stone : Two years at the Sorbonne, she still gets it wrong.

Wasn’t it just announced in a earlier thread that his current husband just died in the volcano eruption?

its quite lovely. in fact I LOVE IT! "hats" off to them!

With 2 little kids I’d be terrified of that glass railing. It’s just a matter of time until one of those family members jumps, falls, or is pushed.

Anyone who quotes My Favorite Year is AOK with me.

R12 called it. I like the interiors, but that is not kid-friendly decor.

What is Jeremiah all about? Why does he dress like a French mime?

It’s quite the tsunami of style, isn’t it?

Can we just have master thread on Nate and his male wife? Im tired of a new thread every time they get a new home. Boo!

R9, here ya go.

I couldn't get very far in the video. It's a gorgeous chapeau but the decor looks like it was done by a design student. It's so unsophisticated. Berkus is nearly 50 years old. After years of work, travel, seeing the very best....that's what he comes up with? It looks like the house of a well-to-do midwestern hairdresser.

Jeremiah's trousers are the most unflattering imaginable cut for his body type. All his flaws are over-emphasised leaving him looking fat-arsed and knock-kneed.

Your house is your calling card. It has to be perfected, photographed, published....

It goes from the taste level of the House Wives of NJ to completely drab. I give it a C-

Basic rich gay bitch taste

Can you imagine the constant tedious conversations they must have about every single piece of furniture they buy and its subsequent placement. I would die. Just die.

I likey except the glass bridge and the master bed is so low, I don't want to have to crawl out of bed in the morning.

The mismatched styles are a headache as well as the paint color.

Jeremiah sure knows how to work that ass. I remember him from another TV show where he was living with another successful high-profile SoCal designer.

It's fine - but not the most child-friendly.

They've got great lives - you've got to give them that.

I made it to 3:30. They're obsessively annoying. Bad couple to do anything together for tv. I'd have stuck it out to the end if they threw each other over the glass railing.

He got over that dead boyfriend quick.

[quote]Basic rich gay bitch

Well that describes most of us doesnt it

I love how the cocktail table in the sitting room has all the bottles of liquor at kid height--for easy grabbing.

How long before somebody falls over those plexiglass rails? I’m way to clumsy for that.

That poor baby has to stare at a picture of a scary raven or a barren cactus. Ridiculous.

This couple always seems like they want to tear each other’s eyes out. I don’t get it.

agree the place doesnt look safe for kids at all. I only watched a small part of the video but it isnt my taste.

R28 - the dead boyfriend died in the Boxing Day tidal wave. That was a looong time ago.

They're try-too-hard, every minute bringing up that they're a family, they have children; 😩WE FUCKING KNOW😩. The constant talking over each other. It's a shit-show these two.

R5 No, not at all. That is a completely appropriate and reasonable thing to hope for. And I might add, the sooner the better. These two are fuck’n insufferable.

Did the former boyfriends remains ever turn up? ...if not, we're suppose to take Nate's word that he was lost in a tsunami?

Clashing designer styles.

R36 - no, he was washed away to the sea. Not sure how Nate survived.

R38 Oprah’s pretty powerful.

I swear he was in that house 6 years ago. Or he did the exact same door he did in another house near me in the West Village. Same color 1890s house. He was in the doorway and clearly redesigning. Odd.

The boyfriend is not made for TV. Just doesn’t have “it”. Nate is ok.

Nate Berkus is so boring I can't click on this.

Every piece of furniture in the r20 photo looks trash-picked.

I see furniture like this on the sidewalk all the time.

Nate is ok, better on tv by himself. The bf is disruptive and annoying. Nate seems to have the need to keep the bf entertained and feed him attention. It all comes off as derailed, goofy and annoying. The schtick isn't working for them as it does with the property brothers. Even they're getting long in the tooth with their goofy bullshit. Entertain us by remodeling a house, not horsing around and trying to be comics.

Is chapeau another one of those DLisms like cak and graxy?

Are there nudes or sex tapes floating around?

Of Nate's ex? that's pretty rude

The space and finishes are quite nice. The furnishings meh.

Could they tell us one more time that it's their "home." Not their house.

And maybe one more time that it's for their "family." We get it. You have kids.

A tad insufferable. Yeah, it's a decent place, but what was the point of opening the house to the world?

I like the house and the faucet and the stove. Could only watch for four minutes before it became too annoying.

R49 see R20

Gays have long joined society matrons and other wealthy persons in having their homes photographed and published. It is just something certain people do, especially (yes, am going to say it), our very best homes.

Thing is back in the day it would have been a famous gay man and his "friend" or "partner"; now it's spouse and possibly along with children. This is part of the "equality" certain power gays wanted that comes with SSM; equal footing with other members of their family, peers, friends, etc.. to have their lives documented and celebrated in glossy magazine pages.

Ambassador James Costos and his longtime partner, interior designer Michael S. Smith in AD

Some of the power behind the throne as it were:

R10

It was an earthquake that caused the tsunami off coast of Sumatra which claimed life of Fernando Bengoechea among hundreds of others. At the time FB was described in media as "friend" of NB, or BF, then partner.

In any event both men were holding onto a tree or something when FB let go and was swept out to sea. His remains were never found.

More:

Constantly changing your place of residence is a typical symptom of many forms of mental disease and personality disorders. Congratulations to the happy couple on their successful folie à deux.

Nate Berkus's design style mostly consists of going to Pottery Barn and Target and copying what ever's "on trend" in the design rags.

Original, he ain't.

(Though to be fair, most interior designers do the same thing...there's very few artists in that field.)

Tasteless Fiends, chapeau now is to chateau what pron is to porn, what whet is to weht, and what Lens is to Lena.

Because he doesn’t make an appearance, I guess young Oscar was the one who was pushed into a lava flow from the volcano eruption. Not long after he wrote with black marker on the suede ottoman.

What are the chances a designer would have a gay kid? His Mom is Nancy Golden from the HGTV and DIY networks.

I liked the daughter's room, the rest is mostly icky-poo.

Why is the stove covered with brass? Go away, stove, you annoy me!

I don't want to punch Nate & Imelda in their faces, just slap them around, for a bit.

My garçonnière in a council estate in Odessa. Abundant CHAV trade and sea breezes.

Agreed, R18. I never much paid attention to Berkus, but this space demonstrates that he's a shopper not a designer. And likewise the other one, who I didn't realize was a designer.

I like the open volume of the one large room, but that was the house that they bought, not what they designed. The miraculous "suspended" bookshelves are more than ordinary looking; too thick and clunky and a weird color, a sort of pukey Kardashian Blush Mascara Taupe. To do a big vertical stretch of shelving, I would have done a grid of cubes, Hugh Newell Jacobson style, to emphasize the architecture instead of the better grade Ramada Inn furnishings. The highly veined marble in the fireplace/s is very nice, but the fireplace design is clunky and poorly detailed, and worse underscaled (and matching the fireplace marble to the kitchen countertops - that may be the last word in fussy shop bottom.)

The bottom is cute but high-maintenance.

R54 Post 12 here implies that Nate’s current husband was lost in the recent volcano eruption, did that happen or not?

The lighting fixtures are heterosexual in orientation.

Love them and their house is beautiful

R65

Think you'll find that post was meant to be a joke. In questionable taste but when you fish in polluted water........

Knickknacks, gimcracks,

signed photographs.

You'd have to be as rich as the Lords

to live in a dump like this.

Their house in LA was so much better & livable. I would hate to go from that big house & yard to this townhouse.

Did they say why they moved from LA to New York ?

Too much vocal fry (the striped shirt one) and uptalk (both of them) to make it past 3:30.

When did gay men start to talk like teenage girls?

Never left NYC entirely; couple purchased an apartment in Greenwich Village soon after marriage, but kept the California place as well. Decision was made to ditch both and move into a townhouse

More:

Finally don't believe they were ever totally in love with their place in LA. Sold it for less than they paid and moved to NYC

If money keeps rolling in expect N & J will buy a place in the country like everyone else, if they haven't already.....

Cannot see them cooped up with two children every weekend, school and major holidays along with summer. Maybe upstate or perhaps something in NJ or LI.

Dear Lord in Heaven!

I liked their design show, is it still on?

R75 So they bought a house in LA, totally redesigned and Berkusfied it, which I'm sure cost hundred of thousands or even millions of dollars and then sold it for less that they originally paid? That doesn't bode well for their brand, shouldn't there have been a scramble by those in awe of his design to buy it? Aren't celebrity house sales given a bump in price and interest just by having been owned by someone famous?

Weren't their places supposed to be dog-friendly?

That really was vomitrocious.

Anyone know what street they live on?

R75: According to "People" [FFS, look what this plague has brought me so low that I am citing People mag], they paid $8.185M in 2016 and sold for $11.35M in 2019 (against an asking price of $13.795M.) No idea what they spent on the house itself, but since they bought it from a "Friends" creator, surely it was in respectable order.

The L.A. house is very nice, much nicer than the NYC house, and huge, but their taste is High-End Target. The architectural feature I don't much is that massive porte cochere.

Listing for the old Hancock Park house is still lurking about:

Brent is insufferable. He started out as a replacement assistant for Rachel Zoe on her reality show after Brad Goreski left. He had zero experience but got the job and then proceeded to whine the whole season about how he can do so much more and wants to be a furniture designer.

R76

To be clear meant a second home in the country, but still keep the GV place.

It’s really the ideal life - a place in NYC and a place upstate /CT - which is surpassingly cheap and some great historic houses. A townhouse is a hassle though. Definitely prefer a no maintenance apartment.

There must be an interruption to the flow of funds that necessitated the relocation from a big house in sunny LA to a cramped condo in dangerous and cold NYC. I can't imagine any other reason for sane parents to deprive their kids of lots of safe space to grow.

[quote] That really was vomitrocious. Anyone know what street they live on?

Do you want their Social Security numbers too?

[quote] It’s really the ideal life - a place in NYC and a place upstate /CT

If they buy outside the city it will probably be The Hamptons.

The townhouse looks much better in the Architectural Digest photos at R20 than in OP's video (yes, yes, what a surprise.)

They have an odd aversion to art I would say: underscaled, grim, black or black and white abstracts. in both NYC and the previous LA house. There's one name smaller sculpture on a plinth, but the art looks like it was chosen by a very sever German gallerist. I guess all eyes are to be on the gondolier stripes of the prissier one.

R50 you did better than me. I was only able to make it to 3:18 before I had to quit, otherwise my mind would have turned to mush.

Berkus was in LA when he did his failed TV show, which was around 2010. I don't know where he lived then but it would be interesting to see.

Oprah chose him to be on her show because he was a local Chicago designer and she thought he was cute. Looks were why he got the gig.

How tall is he? I'm thinking 5'6" or so. We're in Andy Cohen territory (though I vastly prefer Nate).

This...

Or this young Isaac Mizrahi look.

Doesn't look like the same person.

The weathers worse but the people are more interesting and less narcissistic in NYC...I’d rather raise kids in NYC.

Yeah he is short. Maybe 5’9”. He was cute - and I don’t mind him. But the desperate for fame hubby is thoroughly annoying. He is killing Nates brand.

They have some kind of design show on HGTV where they "rescue" some hapless couple who got in over their head trying to remodel their house. Their little "faux" fights about design are truly cringeworthy. It's like they spend hours trying to figure out how to act as entitled as they possibly can. They really have no self awareness on the show.

the sitting room bordered by glass railing is not restful at all. The entire townhouse is a black hole of bad Feng shui.

He is shorter than 5'9" which is average height. I have been around him he is like 5'6"...maybe. Still 2 inches taller than Cohen. His talk show failed, his failed design competition show (American Dream Builders), his failed show with his twink Nate and Jerimiah by design... all of his shit fails. He is handsome but has the personality of dried oatmeal and it does not help his husband comes off as desperate to be famous.

R98, Oprah understood he's much better in an ensemble than by himself. The fact that he's had this many solo chances and has failed at all of them backs that up.

Whoever gave these two the green light for a show is probably contemplating jumping off a bridge. Bad move. They're awful together. The husband is wayyyy too thirsty.

[quote]Oprah understood he's much better in an ensemble than by himself. The fact that he's had this many solo chances and has failed at all of them backs that up.

If Oprah understood that then why did she give him his own solo show, huh?

I didn’t even watch the video but I already hate it

I liked the show they did last year for HGTV.

[quote]Berkus was in LA when he did his failed TV show, which was around 2010. I don't know where he lived then but it would be interesting to see.

I went to a taping of Nate's show on West 57th Street in NYC. I would assume he was here at that time, although it was short-lived.

R42 All the furniture does look trash picked.

He's not spending huge amounts of money on any of his own personal home projects. Nate Berkus is a "name" designer so he's getting major discounts on everything (if not out and out freebies on many things) in exchange for being profiled in pr pieces or just to keep in good standing with Nate who is a lousy designer but has some clout because fraus seem to love him.

Though not enough for him to have a successful media project.

This awful townhouse is proof of his shitty taste. That ridiculous acrylic/glass railing and dumb inaccessible book case with fake books in it, is ridiculously awful.

Wasn’t the painting above their bed just a blank canvas?

R106 is absolutely correct!

I admit that I was ready to hate-watch that video as the one thing I truly dislike (even when it's the premise of the video!) is people showing off their things. Another thing--"no, YOU'RE the messy one!" Another thing--our family, our growing family, our messy family, our (jealous yet?) photogenic family. And the bedroom in which everything has a purpose, everything is functional: like the painting, the Sumerian jugs, the slab of marble in front of the fireplace, the objets d'art sprinkled around the room? And why would anyone have so many shoes? Black shoes? Shoe buying for sport and pleasure is one of the gay male pursuits I will never understand.

That said, there was some beautiful spaces. Oh man, that kitchen and its entry into the family room! Stunning. And they really are both cute.

The gas stove was gorgeous & I'd wager it cost about $30,000.

R101, look for yourself.

Are Nate and Jerry friends with NPH and his husband and Andy Cohen? Are all the celeb daddy gays in NYC in the same clicque? All of those children could have play dates together and attend the same private schools.

Actually I have it on good authority Berkus and Cohen do NOT get along. Cohen tried it for the longest time but Nate was not into him at all.

Berkus comes across as sensible and forthright in that interview at R111. Good for him.

They both seem to work very hard on getting those voices as baritone as possible.

My friend bought a townhouse down the street from Nate and she's in the process of renovating it. She bumped into Nate one day and dragged him into the place and he'd said he be delighted to offer some help when she's ready. I think I'll send her this video to warn her.

I love Nate and Jeremy and welcome them back to the east coast. Their home is lovely, though Poppy and Oscar must be banned from the upstairs for the duration of their childhoods. Job (and family) well done!

Now, where did we put Vern Yip? Last I heard he, his husband and two youngsters were living on Central Park West. Life is good.

[quote]Cohen tried it for the longest time but Nate was not into him at all.

I totally believe that. Berkus is a media princeling like Cohen himself: wealthy, well-connected, famous, "good" family, but minus the psychopathology. If Cohen cannot find an idealized version of himself, he'll probably wind up with some hustler-loser who's one-third of his age, like so many of these princelings do. Berkus' husband seem like a more appropriate fit, at the very least.

Berkus has horrible taste! His designs are awful.

I like that they don't do the American thing with the flashing the TEETH all the time. It looks so fake and plastic.

The BF has the oddest dress sense.

Vern Yip has a tiny 800 sq. ft. pied a terre in NYC. His home and work base is Atlanta.

Vern Yip's 6700 sq. ft. Atlanta home.

Nate talks about how his design is about things being personal and having meaning. I’m not sure why his spaces never feel personal or soulful to me. Maybe it’s that he is constantly moving? The spaces are attractive enough but just feel high- end generic to me.

R106 that bookcase is, as you said, inaccessible. Horrible and dumb decision to stick a mountain of a bookcase there with no access.

He's got so many shoes because he's never in his life thrown a pair out. He could eliminate 90% of his "shoe collection" by just going through them and throw out what he no longer wears. Like someone said, they're "buyers", not designers. And whoever said high-end Target, hit the nail on the head.

[quote]And why would anyone have so many shoes? Black shoes? Shoe buying for sport and pleasure is one of the gay male pursuits I will never understand.

This display of shoes has one good use: to scare off reasonable people from ridiculous prissy queens. To have a lot or even a great many shoes...fine, with some extra allowance for fashion-industry people and TV whores. But to have shelf after shelf filled with rows and rows and rows of shoes like the thousands of dried bugs in the drawers in the basement of an entomological museum is somehow not a "cute" obsession but disgusting.

[quote][R106] that bookcase is, as you said, inaccessible. Horrible and dumb decision to stick a mountain of a bookcase there with no access.

Maybe they don't actually READ the books.

A lot of people fill their bookshelves for decoration purposes only.

Remember the stacks of books fashion?

[quote]Maybe they don't actually READ the books.

[quote]A lot of people fill their bookshelves for decoration purposes only.

Those are pretentious cunts (which in this case we were well aware), or granny curio, bric-a-brac, knick-knack, gee-gaw collectors.

Vast collections of books are already obsolete in our digital age. Most people under 40, even extremely wealthy people, do not collect books like that. It's old-fashioned, like collecting china or Hepplewhite chairs or Tiffany lamps.

Books and personal libraries are becoming... unfashionable.

R129 = Dumber & dumber

[quote]Most people under 40, even extremely wealthy people, do not collect books like that.

Wow! Any other gems to share?

Someone told me super wealthy people collect super yachts and equip them with super whores. True?

[quote] It's old-fashioned, like collecting china or Hepplewhite chairs or Tiffany lamps.

you're SO stupid.

I ask again: Where are the dogs?

And who dusts all that crap? They must have 24-hour cleaners on salary.

Sush! You'll release the Kraken.

(The Chinese Tiffany Knockoff Lamp Troll)

I don' wan' to collec no books - dey no fashinable

Nate's life is perfect. I wish I could be him.

You don't know that. It may seem like it is, but it's entirely possible both those boys are mortgaged to the hilt and worry every month how they're going to pay all the bills.

Nate seems nice enough but I'd hate to be a decorator for a living. He has to deal with demanding clients and demanding vendors, everyone wants him to do his work for free and drags their feet when it comes time to pay. No thanks.

Hoarders!

Will they keep the art here? Especially the nude woman by the pool!

Did Berkus' first husband really get swept out to sea or was that just a convenient way to dispose of the body?

Asking for the National Enquirer.

The house at R141, on K-Hole Road, is very Montauk, no?

That’s where they are sheltering in instagram.

The color of that Montauk house (inside and out) is noxious.

Well I was right wasn't I? They did buy place in the country, though Montauk is rather far out.....

Prefer Bernie Madoff's old place that feds (IIRC) still cannot unload despite a few price chops.

[quote]Vast collections of books are already obsolete in our digital age. Most people under 40, even extremely wealthy people, do not collect books like that. It's old-fashioned, like collecting china or Hepplewhite chairs or Tiffany lamps. Books and personal libraries are becoming... unfashionable.

You're wrong and have no idea about what's fashionable and what's not.

Tell us: why is it just about EVERY journalist and celebrity broadcasting from home is sitting by a book shelf or stack of books?

I think there’s nothing better in a home than a library full of books that the owner reads and loves. Having no books is sterile and books used as props or color coordinated or with their spines in make no sense to me.

R141

I have no doubt they will totally gut the interior of the Montauk home. They obviously bought it for the location and the outdoor ammenities.

AT least Jeremiah looks like he has decent anal hygiene , despite the high waisted Audrey Hepburn pants

i'm SURE Jeremiah is very clean, R150. Have no doubts about it.

[quote]They obviously bought it for the location and the outdoor ammenities.

Montaulk isn't the end of the Earth, but you can see it from there.

Those two affected queens aside, I do think their home is very attractive. But it's a typical "interior decorator's home". Done more for show to prospective clients, than for practicality.

I avoid two kinds of people (actually, there's a lot more than that but for the sake of this post...)

1) People who own NO books

and

2) People who own only digital books

Oh...and, 3) People who ONLY own TERRIBLE books like a bookcase only full of shitty pop fiction...Stephen King or James Patterson or row after row of stupid genre shit like Star Wars books.

R154 is alone with only her delusions of superiority to keep her warm at night

Note to Jeremiah: high-waisted pants on men (and women) are just not going to happen again.

Jeremiah is dressed to fit right in at The Pines -- circa 1964 and straight from the International Male Catalogue. How chic, how retro!

And how much cock there must be...!

The boyfriend is too short and a total kween. He seems to be trying WAY too hard to make them seem "power couple"-y. There's no chemistry between either of them.

They seem to be pitching a reality series, or trying to. Also it's a bit weird that they were decorating up to the day before the shoot.

That kitchen has too much marble.

Jeremiah did himself no favors with that outfit. Just made him look shorter and wider.

The place is dreary and generic; it lacks color and vibrancy. Everything is staged and impersonal.

Nate said Jeremiah lived in a closet for 20 yrs on their HGTV show “ saving” something is the title. They both seem engaged and great parents and knowing LA I commend their choice to go to NY.

That Montauk house is a horror. Complete gut job. Only good part is the pool.

I hope Nate takes him on another of his little Thai visits in tsunami season.

R164

For the last GD time; tsunami occurred in Sumatra, Indonesia which is *NOT* Thailand.

Have some of you not ever seen a globe?

Montauk is like going to end of the earth... Driving to Southampton is bad enough, but going further east just gets me down.

Nate doesn't have a fine round high ass anymore. I'm glad I treated him to my dick and bod when he was in cute shape. I fucked him off the coast of the Atlantic in his ass one whole summer. He's a wild whore when he gets something like mine.

If they are really living the life, they are not driving to Montauk. They are taking helicopters, or being driven in spacial vans where they can get work done and spend quality time with their children.

R162--That show on HG is all repeats---it used to be on TLC or some other channel and had a different name. At the end of their 2nd season N&J decided to move to NYC with the kids and the result is the OPs video, I guess. They must be getting ready for a new season, perhaps under the HG version of the show's name and doing their sappy thing for special people in NYC instead of So Cal.

OP, thanks for the “humble chapeau” inclusion. Looks like I’m the only one that appreciates the humor.

I doubt HGTV would be doing a show with these two in NYC. There are other designers, even ones that they could invent, who would do a show in a much cheaper locale.

Somebody please remind me what movie the line “humble chapeau” is from? Was it YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN or maybe HIGH ANXIETY? I seem to recall it was a Mel Brooks film...

Lainie Kazan says it to Peter O’Toole in MY FAVORITE YEAR, when she welcomes him into her Brooklyn apartment.

Quel fromage

They're both so extra about everything.

You meant chateau, right?

The rooms were all very small. MBR had room for 2 tiny bedside tables.

R177

Does vary a bit but generally townhouses are 18-20 feet wide. Larger than that and you get into mansions, lower equals a very narrow house which can feel claustrophobic. With that said and done owners simply have to work with what they've got.

In Victorian/Edwardian times and even later it wasn't uncommon for husband and wife to have separate bedrooms. King sized beds are a recent invention so if you go with a full/double bed or even queen (which is plenty large enough for one person), would mean more space in a smaller bedroom.

In response to comments above, it is rather easy to find address of this house. Property records are public information in New York and online in a searchable database. Am not going to say where, nor bother looking because don't give a toss, but those who know what am talking about know the database as well.

Of course NB and JB can be like many others and run their property purchases behind a LLC. Someone once told me that Martha Stewart has all her homes run through LLC/her company so she can take hefty deductions on all the business she does out of them (filming, photo spreads, etc....).

Regardless large numbers of well off persons are or have bought NYC property through a LLC if for no other reason to keep busy bodies from their affairs. It isn't full proof, but will slow down amateurs.

I don't like the big friend's face. He has a face one right off of a revolutionary war-era painting- and not one by Gilbert Stuart.

Well, it is certainly obvious why this was not a "Tasteful Friends" thread.

I love how is says Nate Berkus and Jerimiah Brent buy....you just know Brent insists his name be added to everything as if Brent has that kind of money.

They are married R182, do you understand the concept?

Yup I sure do but you don't see Jerry Seinfeld and Jessica Seinfeld purchased a 50 million dollar Hamptons house, it is just Jerry.

R176. You’re not getting the joke. It’s a play on words.

Hey, Jerry Seinfeld's accountant posts here!

The place looks staged and unlivable, decorated solely for appearances. Non-functional tchotchkes abound.

At least Nate has dropped the grizzled look he was rocking for way too many years.

[quote]Nate doesn't have a fine round high ass anymore. I'm glad I treated him to my dick and bod when he was in cute shape. I fucked him off the coast of the Atlantic in his ass one whole summer. He's a wild whore when he gets something like mine.

More deets, please! Was his anus smooth? Did you taste it?

R186

No need for an accountant degree or whatever, just something any resident of New York who has bought real estate (residential) and is married; by NYS law nearly universally all property purchased by a "husband and wife" (now amended to spouse with passage of SSM) is held in tenancy by the entirety. This regardless of who pays for all or major portion of property. This was done ages ago to prevent weaker spouse (usually universally the wife) from being diddled out of her share of marital estate.

As a legally married couple this townhouse and any other property purchased by NB and JB after their union is held in joint tenancy, everyone knows this as it is virtually automatic. There are a few ways around such as with a pre-nup but those cover property largely purchased prior to marriage, not afterwards.

Furthermore right of some sort of automatic joint tenancy was one of those one thousand or whatever that people pushing for SSM wanted.

Prior to this even with domestic partnership arrangements two men or women living as life partners had to create complicated arrangements to ensure a surviving partner would have legal rights to property after the other was deceased. This came into clear focus during HIV/AIDS crisis where families of deceased would show up basically saying surviving partner had no rights to property because their family member had paid for everything. In no small number of instances that meant a surviving partner was turfed out of his/her home with basically nothing.

Comparing townhouses of the gays: NPH & his husband have a much better townhouse.

In which room does the man go up inside the man?

Yes but NPH got more for his money by buying in Harlem. Not even the rich heartland of west either, but in a very suspect area of east Harlemish on Fifth Avenue.

Location, location, location people!

NPH's townhouse is about 1000 square feet larger than NB's (IIRC), but look at the area......

You cannot compare GV with that part of Harlem

I cannot imagine Jerimiah is the top in this relationship.

R187, thank you!!

R190, tenancy by the entirety is the default position if no particular mention is made in the granting documents, but just adding the simple words "as tenants in common" will become superior to tenants by the entirety.

[quote]tenancy by the entirety is the default position if no particular mention is made in the granting documents, but just adding the simple words "as tenants in common" will become superior to tenants by the entirety.

Yes R188, Nate is a bottom and his anus was smooth. Waxed. He smelled different on different days - but never perfumed. He's pretty dudish. Sexy boy. He was delicious to fuck and I took tenancy, not by default. People mistake Nate's attraction to pretty men as some sign that he is a top. Nope. There are men who fuck you and the men you marry. He marries pretty men. I fucked him off the coast of the Atlantic for a whole summer in his ass.

A whole summer in his ass?

Poetic.

Yes. Inside Nate Berkus for a whole summer. He was piggy and sweet and distracted. I fucked him off the coast of the Atlantic R199. In his ass.

Any pics?

Yes. Many.

“off the coast of the Atlantic”

[quote]Nate is a bottom and his anus was smooth. Waxed. He smelled different on different days - but never perfumed. He's pretty dudish. Sexy boy. He was delicious to fuck and I took tenancy, not by default. People mistake Nate's attraction to pretty men as some sign that he is a top. Nope.

Did he have a penis?

Who cares, Rose!

R198 made me swoon...

How was his anal hygiene?

They live on my block across from Sarah Jessica

I'm sure SJP has been friendly, but only because she wants Nate to redo the twins' room for free.

SJP likes her gays to be useful: direct her plays, escort her to the Met galas, design her clothes, and/or marry her.

[quote] How was his anal hygiene?

Terrible hygiene, doesn’t like to douche. I’m into scat though so it worked out well. Nate shitted all over me, many times. When I fucked him in the asshole, off the Atlantic.

It was off the coast of the Atlantic for a whole summer in his assshole that I fucked him. And his hole was gorgeous and pink and creamy inside. Nate never painted my dick. And I'm B I G.

I saw a commercial tonight for Nate & Jeremiah's TV show. The new season starts Saturday night.

So, you were in a BOAT off the coast of the Atlantic for the whole summer fucking his ass?

A barge?

North Atlantic or South Atlantic?

Yes. Inside Matthew Broderick for a whole summer. He was piggy and sweet and distracted. I fucked him off the coast of the Atlantic.

In his ass.

This is a video Nate posted a couple days ago answering design questions from quarantine.

.It should be noted Jeremiah is only in the video for about 10 seconds and as a result Nate was delightful & not cloying.

Nate and Jerimiah can do my house over anytime they want, I think their work ids beautiful.

R216--Concoct a sob story and submit your home for the show!

So they live near Mary's Fish Camp. Hope Mary's is delivering, for their sake.

Nate and Jeremiah, Fish? I don't think so.

Are you sure it was the Atlantic you were off the coast of?

Managed to watch entire video. At one brief point, there was what appeared to be a slim female (long hair - her head was cut off) walking quickly past the camera. Must be nanny.

The ode to Target home is so contrived, souless, everything that’s been said ... what huge narcissists they are to display so happily. The part in the girls room (Poppy??) — even in her room , each piece had a SPECIAL meaning — beyond obnoxious

Yes, R221, it's all so very special. The things that they collect on their travels....so very special. Everything in Poppy's (FFS) bedroom...so very special.

"It's great, I think, to fill a home with things that tell a story about you and your family."

As opposed to telling a story about someone else and their family? It's like talking to a tattoo freak who starts in telling you that each of his tattoos has a special meaning to him. Really? I thought you were going to tell me that you just let people write random shit and doodle on your body with tattoo guns and permanent ink. If the tattoos are not about you, then who the fuck are they about? If the dumb shit from Mexico on your bookshelf isn't related to something in your life, then to whose life? and why? and what is it doing in your house?

I have great respect for interior designers who are genuinely talented., who posses a real depth of knowledge, not just about where to buy trendy shit, but a visual memory, a knowledge of art and art history and the history of interiors, and a sense not only of all that came before but of how to break with tradition and expectation in small ways and large. When two designers say they had no idea what they were doing and, minutes before the cameras arrived, they just threw things into place, well, they've told you a truth about themselves. They don't know what they're doing. Again, they're 95% shoppers and 5% designers, and only that 5% because they read magazines. It's like sending your clueless WASP uncle to Brooks Bros. to buy a new wardrobe: everything matches everything to the extent that he can only go but so wrong.

Home Town is where it's at these days. It's all about Ben, Erin, and Helen.

The New York house is sterile just like the California house. Nate and Jeremiah can preen and prance around this house, but there’s nothing unique about it. It doesn’t look like a home; there are no personal touches. It looks staged, like a movie set.

R222 nailed it!

Thanks DL, now all I can think about when I see him is his smooth ass getting fucked

His fucking pants. Why tho?

Nate collected a lot on his travels. Load after load. Off the coast of the Atlantic one whole summer when I fucked him in his ass around the clock.

I can't

Make it stop

Make it stop

Burn them all!

the horror

Jeremiah might not be our cup of tea, but apparently Nate is in love with him and they do have a couple of adorable kids, so I guess it's working for them

[quote]I have great respect for interior designers who are genuinely talented., who posses a real depth of knowledge, not just about where to buy trendy shit, but a visual memory, a knowledge of art and art history and the history of interiors, and a sense not only of all that came before but of how to break with tradition and expectation in small ways and large.

Oh fuck that, go out and by your own couch. Who is so absent of life you need some stranger to fill your house?

I want to see Nate's O-ring.

I filled Nate's house off the coast of the Atlantic one whole summer and he still shines with the light.

So they named their son after Nate's bf who got swept by the tsunami? That's sweet but odd. What if the pesumed dead bf just shows up one day in their front doors. Who will Nate choose? Lol

You watch too many soaps R238

If there's no body found, assume they'll be back

Jeremiah aged out of those "sweater boy" looks working for him, at least 6 years ago at 29.

The pant!

R26, they bought in Montauk

Jeremiah hit the jackpot. Nate is worth $15 million, all thanks to Oprah.

Their heads are enormous. They look like Prague marionettes, always on the verge of toppling over.

It is not believable that two little kids live there . No high chair in the kitchen ? Does Poppy sit on some gigantic chair at the marble countertop?

There are no toys or kid stuff in that room off the kitchen where they spend their time ! FFS Nate went on about how their kid drew black lines THROUGH EVERY SECTION on that hideous chair? And they just happened to have a spare chair handy?

The one with the mink was probably more interesting to look at.

And the way they rattled off about which “friend” created each “piece” thus making it worthy to sit in their chapoo.

R246

Come on! If AD was visiting your house you would put all the toys in a closet. Regarding the footstool being drawn on, watch the link upthread where Nate answers design questions during quarantine. He said every furniture fabric in their home is outdoor fabric. They picked that because it is indestructible & washable because they have kids.

247 posts and no discussion over who bottoms?

Thanks for the breathing exercises DL. I haven't laughed this hard at a thread in a long time.

Well, we know for sure that Nate likes his smooth backside fucked off the coast of the Atlantic...

R248, because there’s no doubt Jeremiah is all bottom.

Like, dude...for real?

Must be nice, while us peasants are locked up in our small apartments. Whoopie!

Oh, how adorable!

Love the sailer shirt and big hipster pants on Jeremiah, attractive!

The pants are disturbing. The club kid haircut is also highly alarming. Nice tank watch, though

Give me Los Angeles any day.

Oh, to be lacking in self-awareness as much as these two.

The incessant name-dropping reminds me of Drew Dodge's Chloë Sevigny videos.

[quote] This is a video Nate posted a couple days ago answering design questions from quarantine. .It should be noted Jeremiah is only in the video for about 10 seconds and as a result Nate was delightful & not cloying.

My question is why do his designs suck so badly? Why doesn’t he choose a new career. His work is awful.

Agreed, R259. It's a lack of confidence I would say. It's a studied approach, but studied in the sense of being extremely cautious. Like a speech constructed to offend no one in a very large and varied audience, he seems to tread so lightly that he pleases only by not displeasing. The whites and blacks and greys, warm whites, cool whites, ink blacks, shadowy blacks, pale greys, charcoal greys, and, just when you think he's going to go somewhere new with his three tonal variations, or go wild and add a sisal rug or a hint of seagrass brown: an emerald green ottoman, because, well, emerald green is so hot right now this minute! The texture is unvarying. Everything is underscaled in relation to the room, and there is no interaction of scale among the furniture. The artwork is undersized and underwhelming. There's no confidence in any of the individual pieces, no real hierarchy or progression, no sense of juxtaposition or dialogue, no sense of history (like a condo sales office, it looks like everything was bought in one shop.) If a room succeeds its down not to his design but to the architecture, and even that he manages to mess up (look at the LA house with the overscaled ceiling with the deep octagonal coffers: it overwhelms him and and he just puts an underscaled skinny table in the center of the roof with a ridiculous flimsy bench so the whole happy family can watch the bookshelves while lined up on a bench as if waiting for a bus. It's a poorly stolen vignette from a Restoration Hardware, or Anthropologie, or Williams-Sonoma/West Elm/Pottery Barn (in a $14M house.)

[quote]My question is why do his designs suck so badly? Why doesn’t he choose a new career. His work is awful.

Dude, he has a NYC townhouse and a Long Island east end home because of his work. People like it, you don't, don't hire him. What a fucking ridiculous statement.

Is Jeremiah Nate's sugarbaby?

R30, it's just a variation of what Nate regularly tells the kids: "Go play in traffic"

R260, thank you. You’ve summed up everything I though about Nate Berkus’s interior design. Your observation was brilliantly stated.

R42, have you ever heard of sustainability and recycling? There is no need to throw things away when they can be re-used.

Get it? Idiot!

R261= Jeremiah Brent in meltdown.

The Townhouse looks too cold and hazardous. Just give me a nice cozy spanish villa in Santa Fe, and then we’ll talk.

[quote] Dude, he has a NYC townhouse and a Long Island east end home because of his work. People like it, you don't, don't hire him. What a fucking ridiculous statement.

“Dude” people also like Taylor Swift’s singing. She has multiple homes and she is worth hundreds of millions of dollars She cannot sing and Nate cannot design. People like garbage. People buy garbage. But it’s still garbage!

Says you and means nothing more than your wasted breath.

[quote] Says you and means nothing more than your wasted breath.

I offered my opinion and you offered yours. Neither will change anything.

They own a town house in NYC and a second home in Montauk. They're worth more than $15m if they can afford that much real estate.

$15m isn't really much money any more.

R271

It's funny because you don't have $15 million net worth.

[quote]Inside Nate Berkus

No, thank you.

Maybe they make payments.

How much are these homes?

R274

In rich heartland of Greenwich Village or West Village you aren't going to find a townhouse for < $5 million. Even then something that low likely would be still full of rent regulated tenants or have other defects.

For various RE market reports see link...

Current owner of Meryl Streep's former townhouse in GV has been trying for years to unload that property, so far nothing....

R276, it’s tainted now.

R274

Not many would pay all cash for a Manhattan townhouse, mansion, etc.... Why tie up all that money that could be earning someplace else?

They will put 10%-20% down (more or less), then finance balance. Downside to this is same as when purchasing any other property, come time to sell long as there is still a mortgage sale price needs to cover debt. This is likely one reason you see so many townhouses on the market for years even in hot areas like Greenwich or West Village. Asking price is just too steep, but seller needs to pay off a mortgage otherwise difference must come out of their own pockets.

Nate loves ocean colors and creamy white butt juice, the red undertones to this dark god's skin. He's not that limited - his client's are. So he specializes. Home decorating is not an art, it's a trade. Nate was some fine ass trade once. He sees colors in the wind. He's so cute and asymmetrical sweet and dirty with the tiniest hole that got all puffy after days of non stop breeding. I fucked him all summer off the coast of the Atlantic in his ass. Repeatedly. We share this memory, this dream - a landscape and color and weather that has has taste and smell attached. Where memories live. Nat Berkus loves the sting of discipline, the salt and grit of dirty sex in heavy clean sheets. The stretching and pounding - a muscled lead dark man to wrap himself around and surrender too. As we do to the beach and the wind and sand and the summer. I get more than one summer of bliss in life. Nate hurts inside, so sometimes he likesl it to hurt deep inside. He was lucky to have all this MAN to break down his walls. He saw color and loved heat and new smells. His art deepened. He had to grow inside. Off the coast of the Atlantic for one whole summer I fucked him in his ass. Hard and deep and relentlessly full. Now he rolls his pants too tight. A family life for him cannot last. For reasons I will not say.

R279 posting to Datalounge:

R279

Sally Jessy Raphael was asked why she owned four houses. She said her accountant told her it's a way to save money on taxes. Does that make sense?

Jerimiah has his own Youtube Channel. He talks about how he and Nate met

R284, he’s lying. Jeremiah presented hole to me at Olive Garden and the rest was history.

Nate likes dick. He's eats hole though. He's got a muscular tongue, lol. Jeremiah is a top as was Fernando. Trust me. I know Nate. One year off the coast of the Atlantic I fucked him in his ASS all summer. He never forgets. We share photos, memories - the summer wind.

I recall (but not the details) some gossip about pre-Nate Jeremiah prowling around (WeHo?) looking for a sugar daddy. Does that sound familiar? The inter webs seem to be wiped clean of the details. Get on it DL Super-sleuths!

r287 I would not doubt it - there was one ep of the Rachel Zoe project where her hairdresser got to go to some big meeting with (I want to say Armani or Valentino) an Brent was complaining the whole episode because HE was supposed to be the assistant!! I think he just wanted to present hole to a rich designer.

Do brownstones come in different widths? I've seen pics of Kelly Ripa & Mark's home and it's huge. Maybe they don't live in a brownstone but in one of those mansions. Their home is on the UES.

R289: Yes, there are different sizes. In the 19thC it was standardized to an extent, but there are variations, and parts of Manhattan (the Village, certainly) were divided into lots [italic]before[/italic] the reforms of the 19thC so that's a different system with its own irregularities.

[quote]I would not doubt it - there was one ep of the Rachel Zoe project where her hairdresser got to go to some big meeting with (I want to say Armani or Valentino) an Brent was complaining the whole episode because HE was supposed to be the assistant!! I think he just wanted to present hole to a rich designer.

You do realize those "reality' shows have very little reality, and the "plot" was outlined before filming doncha?

Ripa/Consuelo townhouse

Inside:

Prefer interiors of adjacent 10 East 76th street which has kept more of its original charm.

R293, I’ve come on all those stairs.

Here is an example of a "double-wide" mansion in Manhattan on West 44th in Hell's Kitchen.

Sorry, I’m a bit slow. I’m still trying to figure how you have sex with someone all summer off the Atlantic coast.

We’re they on a raft, like an air mattress? Or did they live in a dingy all summer? Weren’t there Nazi subs off the Atlantic coast during the war? Are they still out there?

I won’t rest until I get answers.

R293

Ripa/Consuelos totally renovated that house from top to bottom. Her show has filmed segments at her home. The kitchen is gorgeous & gigantic. The living room where the Xmas tree was big & beautiful.

It looks nothing like those photos.

He’s not charismatic enough to be a talk show host. Sweet guy, however.

What's with the shitty paintings everywhere, including outside? I loathe the interior but the exterior is great!

[quote] Ripa/Consuelos totally renovated that house from top to bottom. Her show has filmed segments at her home. The kitchen is gorgeous & gigantic. The living room where the Xmas tree was big & beautiful. It looks nothing like those photos.

Good News there!

Nate & Jeremiah's show returns tonight.

They had a show??

R303

For 3 years going on 4. Where have you been?

Obviously better things than watching a terrible home decorating show starring untalented home decorators...albeit one who of whom apparentl enjoys getting fucked off the coast of the Atlantic.

In the ass.

All summer. In his ass. Off the coast of the Atlantic I fucked him. Why does it bother you so much? The waves. After wave.

Off the coast of the Atlantic. Can you at least give us coordinates so we can investigate?

Oh. I get it now. Sorry. My coordinates are 9.5 x 6.5.

All summer. In his mouth (R306). Off the coast of Atlantic City, I shat in his mouth.

Spat in his mouth would be more realistic

Didn’t the salt water bother you? What did you drink off the cost of the Atlantic?

Nate did drink my piss - but we weren't stranded without supplies. Piss is for kink and nutrition. Something heavy. Dominance. I'm the KING. All summer off the coast of the Atlantic - Nate drank my piss and took my loads in his mouth and ass, I fucked him fully full. My coordinates are sizeable, ha. I love that new word for my big dick. He got lost a few times. I guided him back home. When I was done with it. Now no more talk. I only came out here at first because the Atlantic is so underrated. Off the coast. Try it. A whole summer fucking Nate.

Have we met? I was on an uncharted island off the coast of the Atlantic...

You don’t have to tell me about sex off the coast of the Atlantic. I lived it.

Could the former flame of Nate’s have been on fire island?

More deets on Nate's anus please. Coinslot or balloon knot?

r316 Holland Tunnel

Tonight was still a rerun with that horrible kitchen floor.

I fucked Nate Berkus on a dirty kitchen floor too. Off the coast of the Atlantic in his ass for one whole summer.

At least his ass was smooth and clean, Even if the floor was dirty

Was the weather ok when you were with Nate, fucking, that summer, off the coast of the Atlantic?

Our photo stamps would tell you the year R321. Are you a meteorologist? It was no tsunami but off the coast of the Atlantic is always unpredictable. We rocked the boat baby and went with the flow. Nate is a coin slot btw. Or he is now.

R322, you left out "in the ass."

Implied

We knew what you meant to say, R322.

I didn’t realize that Nate was promiscuous...he always seemed like the monogamous, nesting type.

He’s only promiscuous off the coast of the Atlantic.

Ugh, coinslots are my favorite.

Is he considered to be a better decorator than DL punching bag David Bromstad?

[quote] Is he considered to be a better decorator than DL punching bag David Bromstad?

Equally terrible!

Nate is a lover who likes it rough sometimes. He's too sweet to be a punching bag, but he sure has stamina for big dick energy fucking him everyway the light can fall and waves crash. I once fucked him in his ass off the coast of the Atlantic for the whole summer.

The whole summer? Off the coast of the Atlantic?

Bromstad came to attention because he won an HGTV contest. His designs, what little I've seen of them, are a joke. I'm not a fan of Berkus but can at least see how he is considered a designer.

[quote] I'm not a fan of Berkus but can at least see how he is considered a designer.

No we can’t.

I was Googling Bronstad's designs and this guy has absolutely no talent as a designer. He began as a Disney animator and his design firm did fantasy bedrooms for kids. You can see that he's tried to bring that aesthetic to everything he does. A riot of color with no sense of order and designs that are sure to be outdated one month after they're installed.

I came out screaming for Berkus' designs. They're boring but compared to this, I'd take boring any day.

HAY, I love that design!

Nate seems to low key detest Jeremiah in this video. When he angrily closes the sweater cabinet, you can tell he all but wants to stab Jeremiah in the face. I can only imagine the low grade dysfunction and simmering anger that hands over the house. Poppy is over it and won’t even kiss Daddy Jeremiah. They’ve erected their own little fussy prison. And likely haven’t touched each other in at least 2 years.

I give it one more year, maybe less.

I sense Nate planning a trip to any areas with active volcanoes and/or prone to earthquakes, tsunamis, hurricanes, etc.

What if they have a baby?

Don't worry, r340, the baby can go on the trip to the active volcano too!

Nate really seemed mad about his sweater cabinet being a mess ....he must be OCD as it seemed rather neat. Also naming their son after his ex who got killed in a natural disaster is weird!

No matter how hard Jeremiah tries, he can never live up to the baby / ex!

I guess this DL Classic thread is drying up.

Sniff.

I'll miss the joy of hearing about folks fucking Nate Berkus off the coast of the Atlantic.

In the ass.

[quote] I guess this DL Classic thread is drying up. Sniff. I'll miss the joy of hearing about folks fucking Nate Berkus off the coast of the Atlantic. In the ass.

No worries. The book “Fucking Nate Berkus off the Coast of the Atlantic - In the Ass” is forthcoming. You may preorder now at:

www.Fucking Nate Berkus off the Coast of the Atlantic - In the Ass . . .

Available on Amazon or directly from the publisher, off the coast of the Atlantic.

I'll wait for the Netflix series.

How can someone be piggy and sweet?

anyone fuckked either of them?

Jere my uh looks like a good bottom whore

Hell with viewing the townhouse, want a view inside their anuses...

Jeremiah waxes his anus but I doubt the other one does....

Waxed anus is the best anus.

Hard to decide whose ass ide rather fuk/rim,,,,,,prob nate, his tits look good too for savaging....

jeremiah is a bottom so he would be fun to phist like crazy after he drunk on vino...

Why are two big sloppy bottoms married?

R354, for the children!

please.....more discussion on their buttholes and tittys. do they shave em? nate looks hairy but I feel Jeremiah's tits and anus are smooth as his forehead...

any trix of theirs have recent pix of cock ass or tit???

Want them both doggy style with their pussys stretched open, then I go from one to the other, sucking them out deep so good that they shoot big wads into alam wernicks cumdump cornhole.

R2, he clearly didn't get the message. I was interested in seeing the inside, but I am not watching a youtube video of him droning on--

I have wet dreams of jeremiah eating nates asshole out....anyone else?

That tsunami swallowed up the wrong person.

Can't Oprah summon Nate's ex back with her great spiritual power and know-how she gleaned from reading The Secret? Is she just unwilling to try hard enough to manifest him back into existence?

Where is a tsunami when you need it?

Nate is cute, but too introverted to be a good talk show hostess.

HOST! Damn autocorrect! 😈

I wish shows could feature real top interior designers and their designs

Is he still relevant?

I met Nate and hubby at a dinner party in LA a couple years ago. I was shocked how short and tiny both men were. They both struck me as pocket power bottoms.

R367 Were they nice or bitchy? And what’s anyone else famous there?

Their whiney upspeak (mostly Nate) is making my ears bleed.

Their waxing rhapsodically about "relating" to their home like characters in a badly written novel are cringe as is their "Oh, marrieds!" schtick.

"Having children has given us a way to experiment with color we never would have had before."

Yeah, my parents felt the same way...

Ohmygawd, do these idiot homosexuals ever listen to themselves?