FIRST CELEBRITIES WITH CORONAVIRUS: TOM HANKS & RITA WILSON

Too bad it wasn't Chet Haze.

OMG!

That was a nice, practical, non-panicked statement from them. Well done.

Shit. He’s high risk.

I see a third Oscar in Tom’s future.

If this isn’t a joke then Tom will be to this virus what Rock Hudson was to AIDS.

Is this really about to get 100s of posts. What can people actually say?

I say cast them away.

GASP!

Actually, I guess A LOT if I think about it.

Too bad, I like him

He's such a disease whore. First Philadelphia, now this. Sheesh. Save some sympathy for the rest of us.

Lucky (wrong word) they both got it. Imagine of it was just one of them.

I felt tired and achy a few weeks ago. Very strange, but not sick-sick. And I’m in a state where, at the time, there were no reported cases. It really makes you wonder how widespread the virus might already be without our knowing it. Maybe that’s why they’re all so loathe to have proper testing.

Big news.

I hope that people will take it even more seriously now including the celebs & everyday people who still keep flying around for stuff they don't need to do!

I'm amazed that more famous people aren't coming down with it, since this a disease which seems to be particularly spread via both public events and travel, two things celebrities seem to spend their lives doing.

They’re just doing it for a little extra PUBLICITY!

Imagine if they both die.

Rest In Peace

Trump was around multiple people who were exposed to the virus and yet he lives on. It's not fair.

Why the fuck did my publicist LET.THIS.HAPPEN?

This is hot of the press news - it's not even on the wires yet.

New York Times has reported it.

I was expecting Jameela Jamil to be the first Corona celeb, and she’d contract it in some elaborate s way, possibly involving bees.

Holy shit.

Isolate him on a deserted tropical island.

His been there, done that should see him survive.

[quote]R16 I hope that people will take it even more seriously now

If they DIE, we’ll take it seriously.

Right now the Hanks are likely getting massages, surrounded by fruit baskets.

Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know which one you’re gonna get.

In a world, ravaged by disease, one man had the courage...

Rita is a witch. Good.

It should have been Kanye and Kim

It's now on People, Variety, Hollywood Reporter, Entertainment Tonight. It's spreading...like a virus

His quick recovery is going to be very reassuring to the American public.

R32, no let them get it towards the end. And honestly I think it will smack people in the face more that someone beloved like Tom gets it.

They probably got it at the Oscars. Front row.

Should have been Weinstein

Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson

The joke is on us--it WASN'T Lady Gaga!!!

I hope he dies.

You seem nice.

They’ve gone viral.

Wow, R40.

Can this site *please* stop it with the all caps screaming queens? It's just a formatting change code wise - detect all caps and lower it down to low caps!

In ten minutes, Lena Dunham will tweet: Tom Hanks #metoo

So this is all Elvis Presley’s fault. If he was never born, there would be no biopic, and he wouldn’t be in Australia. If we only had a time machine.

Hoping they passed it on to other celebrities. Let's keep our fingers crossed.

Well fuck, now ALL the hand sanitizer will be gone!!

Has Henry WInkler released a statement yet?

prediction for next celeb with coronavirus- Charlize Theron

Our society is utterly obsessed with fame. If a celebrity gets seriously ill from this virus, there will be an explosion of people convincing themselves that they have it as well. People seem to take issues more seriously once they affect celebrities, for some reason.

I hope Tom and Rita will be okay.

That's what I was thinking, R19.

They're both older, and people DO actually die from this virus.

Just because they're celebrities, it doesn't mean shit.

Tom must be scared. You can almost hear it in his press release.

Australia is doing minimal testing, they clearly got the VIP treatment.

I hope they both recover.

How did they get their hands on a test?

R54...he's allegedly worth 400 million. Need I say more?

They’ll be fine, and send their love.

They can afford to turn their whole NEIGHBORHOOD into an oxygen tent, with 50 doctors on staff.

Have Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban been to Australia lately?

Rita Wilson never really made her own mark. But I bet book offers are pouring in as we type.

I hope Wilson is okay.

Rita is a judge on the latest American Idol franchise.

Sadly, Wilson succumbed to Corona.

[quote]I hope Wilson is okay.

Is this what it takes for somebody to fucking ask? FUCK!

[quote]Rita Wilson never really made her own mark.

She was good in Frasier. Good comedic timing.

(Maybe I should save this kind of post til later, if you know what I mean).

[quote]Rita is a judge on the latest American Idol franchise.

Is or was?

[quote] Rita Wilson never really made her own mark.

Ate you insane?!

"F, F, F-I-L, L, L, L-M-O, O, O, O-R-E, FILLMORE JUNIOR HIGH!"

wilson is white. Of course, people want to know if he’s ok.

RIP RITA WILSON

[quote]We felt a bit tired, like we had colds, and some body aches. Rita had some chills that came and went. Slight fevers too. To play things right, as is needed in the world right now, we were tested for the Coronavirus, and were found to be positive.

Hell, I have those symptoms right now. So do half the people I work with.

Let's hope they infected other a nauseating celebrities. Fingers crossed.

R19

“ Imagine if they both die.”

Chet Haze will be a millionaire. Oh vey.

Rufus Sewell and Maggie Gyllanhaal are listed in the cast! Do they have it too??!?

[quote]We felt a bit tired, like we had colds, and some body aches.

Sounds like me on a normal day.

So he's illiterate as well as a pompous ass.

[quote]We Hanks’

Are the Hemsworth's OK?

Did Tom infect them down under?

It’s curtains for him, maybe both of them. Start planning the funeral. Thoughts & prayers.

He's a nice guy, R73 or...was.

Oy Vey autocorrect!

This thread is hysterical. Black humor is the best.

Denzel isn’t as pissed as Duchess Meg.

Yes, it's true, I eat old people's excrement.

Yes, it's true, I eat old people's excrement.

They said it was going to get the elderly first. They should have been like the rest of the old people at the store. Buying bleach, toilet paper, Clorox wipes and water.

R25 made me literally LOL. She is the ultimate attention whore.

R70 maybe not. He has three other siblings to deal with. Colin Hanks seems like the type would try to gain control of the estate.

Wasn’t Tom ill when he gave his speech at January’s Golden Globes?? Maybe he had it then!!! He might have given it to everyone in the auditorium!!!!!

Glenn was sitting at his table...

$400 M? Those boys are single and connected right? Asking for a friend.

[quote]It’s curtains for him, maybe both of them.

If just one survives he or she will gain god-like status.

r65

Wrong episode, that was Kathy Lawrence played by Sheri Cowart (It also had that DREAMY Warren Mulaney, played by Gary Rist

She played Pat Conway. Marcia was trying out for head cheerleader and a girl named Jennifer decided to date Greg to get him to voter for her. In the end instead of voting for Jennifer or Marcia, Greg chooses Pat.

R85, not if they're just the first of many celebs to come down with it.

new wide ranging CV freakout 15. Back to original programming.

They’re just like US!

This is such bullshit. Tom Hanks can be a survivor spokesman in 14 days.

The tribute from Peter Scolari will be sweet - -

Maybe his career can be saved, anyway.

When I first saw this referenced I thought it was a joke.

Holy shit.

Hopefully this will make it real for some people.

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[quote]Hopefully this will make it real for some people.

It's already real for a lot of people

[quote] Wasn’t Tom ill when he gave his speech at January’s Golden Globes?? Maybe he had it then!!! He might have given it to everyone in the auditorium!!!!!

That was almost 2 months ago.....too long ago to have been the same flu.

I just keep thinking of the last episode of Veep.

Has The Mail picked out their coffins yet? Subtlety isn't a strong suit.

The truest tweet

[quote]just thankful tom hanks and rita wilson were outside the U.S. so they could get tested

Has Donna DIxon released a breathy statement?

Is Madonna ok?

Chet Haze will blow through that inheritance in five minutes.

Has Susan Dey offered condolences yet, or is she swathed in Shirley Jones' cast off scarves, soaked in dollar store hand sanitizer, and muttering to her cats about the end of days?

Madonna is not okay.

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@God - do you see the fat, ugly, incompetent piece of shit traitor sitting in the white house right now? Take him, not fucking Hanks.

Tom Hanks is so smug. I hope the virus kills him quickly and painfully.

Glad this crisis is bringing people together.

Breaking: Jake Gyllenhaal and Peter Sarsgaard now have it. WTF, how the heck did they get it?

r95 Serious question...some people in Japan kept re-infecting each other, so couldn't Tom and Rita just have kept passing this back-and-forth?

Sunday, Monday...HAPPY DAYS!!!

r108 links!!

R108, obviously they had sex with one another!

It’s not surprising they both got it. They’re bosom buddies.

If that is true - then Maggie infected them - she’s in this Elvis movie.

[quote]Breaking: Jake Gyllenhaal and Peter Sarsgaard now have it.

Should we give them their own threads? Or just turn this into a celeb melange.

I cannot find anything to confirm r108's claim.

R108 is trolling you bitches.

the American sports world has their first athlete with coronavirus

^ Is he the guy who has it?

It's just fibromyalgia, pussies.

Wow, it’s already taken such a toll on him. Guant and sickly, like a skeleton. Can he still play?

Rudy Gobert is the NBA player who tested positive.

[quote]R108 Jake Gyllenhaal and Peter Sarsgaard now have it. WTF, how the heck did they get it?

Are HANKS and those two all FUCKING??

Is Hanks Patient Zero??

Nobody leave their basements!

Tom and Rita are both 63? So young.

At least we know who Tom Hanks will play in the CoronaVirus movie

AIDS and now Coronavirus. Hanks should win another Oscar.

Hanks and Wilson will recover quickly and quietly as will the NBA player but we have not yet reached peak hysteria about this virus.

R109, there was a report about a Japanese woman getting it twice, but now it's believed she didn't really recover the first time.

R128 - Hanks and Wilson are in their 60s and under non-American healthcare in Australia. They will die very soon. 💀 ⚰️

R130 nice trolling but no, they won’t.

In theory it is possible to get the virus more than once, but they haven’t confirmed anyone actually doing so. People are not getting reinfected over and over and it would be better if the media stopped suggesting that’s actually how this virus might behave as there’s no evidence of it.

A few years ago I had the WORST cold I’ve ever had. Felt like shit, achy, horrible cough and congestion and after a week I felt better. A few days later - BOOM - high fever, coughing and felt even worse. I think the Coronavirus is like that. They’re not getting reinfected, but relapsing.

Rita survived breast cancer and Rosie O'Donnell.

She'll be fine.

I've gotten through Herbert and J. Edgar Hoover...and I'm still here.

R132 that might be the case too in terms of how the virus behaves, but the “you can get reinfected over and over!!!” stuff is mostly circulating from the fact scientists couldn’t rule out the possibility, and the media decided to run with this and imply it was actually a notable feature of this virus or happening in any significant numbers, which current evidence suggests it is not (and I expect we would know by now if it were).

From the DM link above:

[quote] Just last week on Thursday March 5 Rita Wilson performed at the Emporium Hotel in Brisbane, Australia at her sold out concert where her husband of 32 years and their 24-year-old son Truman attended. Then on Saturday March 7 the family traveled to Sydney for a performance at the Utzon Room.

Couldn't have happened to a nicer couple: the coronavirus!!!!!

I'm Wilford Brimley and Liberty Medical will cover your Coron-O if you have the Diabeetus.

It's just like the flu (aches, tiredness). They'll survive.

Yesterday I met a friend in San Jose, CA, who’d just stepped off a plane from Hawaii. We spent the day together, went to a museum and two restaurants. None of which were overly crowded.

I feel okay....hope to not die.

I plan to shun everyone from here on in.

,,,,

It is not just like the flu you idiot r139.

About 10x more fatal than flu, and around 10-15% of infections lead to hospitalizations.

At minimum it's 10x more fatal than seasonal flu. It's also far more contagious.

Well, the impossible has happened.... Rita Wilson is finally a household name.

This is awful. I am very sad this has happened to them.

Thank you for the genuine LOL, R144

I can't believe people are STILL saying it's just like flu.

I’ll be very happy if a couple of “one percenters” die from this virus. Then something will actually get done to protect the rest of us quicker.

The coronavirus is more virulent and aggressive than the flu virus and it will leave your lungs and kidneys very damaged even if you're cured. SCARY!!!!

R148 But Tom Hanks and Wilson are not the vile sociopath 1 percenters who would actually deserve it. I would rather see some cold blooded CEO get infected.

R147 because Tom Hanks has it? If he dies of it then they will probably stop saying it. But Tom Hanks won’t die of it. Not even Rita Wilson will.

It’s true that it’s not “just” like flu because it isn’t killing babies and children. Aside from that, yes, it is indeed a very nasty flu. The death rates are higher because older people are much more likely to have pre-existing lung conditions and coronavirus is particularly badly affecting them.

I suppose one thing coronavirus might do is highlight the prevalence of lung conditions that aren’t cancer, which the general public who don’t have smokers in their family often don’t know much about. That could be a good thing.

[quote]I’ll be very happy if a couple of “one percenters” die from this virus. Then something will actually get done to protect the rest of us quicker.

You mean like the Rock Hudson scenario, sort of?

If Tom Hanks dies of it do you think they will name it after him like what happened to Lou Gehrig and his disease?

On CNN tonight Sanjay (I think) clarified that in his understanding lung conditions were manageable until you hit patients in their seventies and eighties.

[quote][R147] because Tom Hanks has it? If he dies of it then they will probably stop saying it. But Tom Hanks won’t die of it. Not even Rita Wilson will.

R151 >

[quote]R149 At minimum it's 10x more fatal than seasonal flu. It's also far more contagious.

Well Yes, but the numbers are WAAAAAAY in someone’s favor for surviving it.

It’s not like it’s [italic]ebola.

Corona, my ass!

[quote]Well, the impossible has happened.... Rita Wilson is finally a household name.

Kate Capshaw was seen hanging around LA's Chinatown this afternoon. Bitch is SO jealous.

R131 You putz

There are cases of people getting reinfected with coronavirus. NYT good enough for you? I know it's not InfoWars or Breitbart.

R159 before you call other people names, check your links. The article you posted contradicts your post, moron.

How long before a Bravo Housewife claims to have it?

R153

The hyphenated name requirements will never allow that. Wuhan Hanks Wilson Life Care Inc. Disease doesn’t have the same ring to it.

Chet Haze Disease is better.

R162 Oh no. If Chet sees this he will be inspired to write a coronavirus rap. "Bitch, I will be all over you like the Wuhan flu /no one gonna give it to you like Chet Haze do"

Chet Haze gives you an update

and a thirst tweet

I hope Rita doesn't pass it on to her sister, Rebel.

R164 Fuck, that boy be fine! I’m not into the all over tats, but he does it good. Perhaps he could counsel Aaron and Pete? If he becomes on orphan will he need to go on Chaturbate to make coin and make us all happy?

Next Year's Oscar In Memoriam.

Rita Wilson

Tom Hanks!

All I keep wondering is...who's playing Elvis?!?!

At least now you gays will shut up about me

At least now you gays will shut up about me

Some old people who recover from the corona will need kidney dialysis until the day they die.

That was actually a nice lil drama-free vid by the Chetster.

Chet Hanks is just sexy as fuck.

Stay pressed hunties!!

Anyone have them on the death pool list?

They'll be fine I think. Death rates are low even for 60-somethings and they'll get the best medical care.

Austin Butler!!! Apparently everyone in that age group tried out for Elvis.

We should have guessed that something bad was going to happen to Hanks when he got that GG lifetime achievement award, and being sick at the time was the perfect omen.

Genuinely surprised Chet didn't do a rap or interpretive dance

R179 I wish he would have done an interpretive wank, all Eros/ Thanatos.

It is possible that he was sick with it then got better and then relapsed. Or that the flu that time around made him more vulnerable.

Another Rita Wilson guest appearance many of us would know is on Three’s Company. It’s actually a really funny Jack/Larry episode from the final season.

RELAX, people. Tom and Rita will be fine. The disease is only supposed to kill the elderly, aged 60+.

I love shirtless health updates about one's infected parents.

[quote]Just last week on Thursday March 5 Rita Wilson performed at the Emporium Hotel in Brisbane, Australia

What was she performing? A play? Stand-up? Is she a singer?

Rita is a pretty competent pop singer. I saw her perform at the troubadour some years back. Hope she didn’t have the ‘rona then.

You know, this is the perfect cover for Lori and Mossimo to fake their deaths, have extensive plastic surgery and live out their lives on some small tropical island nation without US extradition clauses.

I just hope they didn't pass it on to their bestie Nia Vardalos; the bitch will probably write a movie about how she struggled with the illness as a woman of Greek-Canadian heritage if they did.

I can't breathe.

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Has Susan Dey weighed in? I hope she's okay.

[quote]I’ll be very happy if a couple of “one percenters” die from this virus

You are sick! You are a sociopath.

Bitch better not have infected the widow Ullman.

[quote] RELAX, people. Tom and Rita will be fine. The disease is only supposed to kill the elderly, aged 60+.

They are 60+, dear.

R189 Which Country?

[quote]They are 60+, dear.

Well, then they dead.

Why does the Kelly Osborne troll always get the quote wrong?

Expect full recovery

Book deal and speaking tour coming soon.

#Gross

And a country song from the heart.

From the lungs.

Run Forrest, run!

Sarah Jessica Parker has now tested positive. How did she get it? She hasn’t left the cuntry.

R201 If true, thank god, we won’t have to be exposed to that revival after all and here the Broderick-Parker mewings come Tony Awards time.

Quarantined at the Plaza Suite

If you have lung troubles, or a badly functioning immune system, it's much more likely to die from the virus.

[quote] I can't breathe. —Kelly Osborne

If only.

R201 I thought it was Matthew's sister who tested positive?

Where do think his sister got it from?

That is eerie....Armageddon is here.......He is sending us a message, as If we know him or he knows us......and I'm not the only one who finds that scary as hell.

Lay off the drugs, R208.

You're trippin'.

Weird that both Matthew Broderick’s wife and sister have it but he himself does not. It seems Matthew is naturally immune. We need to study his blood to cum up with a cure.

I would rather" go" at home from a bad trip

Then go on the trip of a lifetime, like our friends, Tom and Rita, only to succumb to ....I'm not even going to put it out there.

So if lucidity makes me a druggie, then let's go...I'm ready to ride the White Horse...

Lens is the picture of health : self-care is immunity.

R207

An injection that Matthew gave her...

Ah... now I understand why your sentences and your grammar, make no sense to me R208/R211.

"Finngirl."

Btw, your sentence and paragraph structure are all wrong, which is why it doesn't make sense to a native English speaker.

I've been through the desert on a horse with no name

It felt good to be out of the rain

In the desert you can't remember your name

'Cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain

La la, la, la, la la la, la la la, la, la

La la, la, la, la la la, la la la, la, la

Please stop with the jokes people. This is serious.

Are you aware that Tom Hanks is diabetic! Rita Wilson recently recover from breast cancer!

By all accounts they are doing well and will hopefully make a full recovery very soon but this is a serious condition.

R214

Be a big boy and push the ignore button. You don't tell strangers to do anything and while you are speaking out of your ass? You have no idea--- What tiny little town do you live in?

Now Shoo! Please send me anything that you've published, I'll be happy to edit it for you.

Get a life.

There's no way that poster above is Suomi. All the Finnish people I know speak English much better than that.

[quote] Maybe that’s why they’re all so loathe to have proper testing.

Oh, dear!

[quote] Please stop with the jokes people. This is serious.

Are you new here?

Will The Academy Awards In Memoriam segment next year feature Tom Hanks as the final mortal departure?

If Rita survives, will she come centre stage and say.....I am Mrs Tom Hanks!

Will there be a smattering of applause or a standing ovation?

[quote] Will The Academy Awards In Memoriam segment next year feature Tom Hanks as the final mortal departure?

He’ll be last.

[quote]Will there be a smattering of applause or a standing ovation?

Precocious golf claps.

Why is a film about Elvis being shot in Australia?

fuck that movie

[quote] Hope she didn’t have the ‘rona then

How DARE you be so familiar?

Revenge from the CPAC Corona victims

If the population at large gets it and many people go into respiratory distress that means doctors will have to decide who lives and who dies like in Italy. If you're over 60 goodbye. And if people need ventilators to survive that means you slowly suffocate to death. If your lungs fill with liquid you drown. They should start thinking now about means of euthanasia.

I’m worried about so many celebrities in their 70s and 80s who are most at risk. Cher, Meryl Streep, Goldie Hawn, Jane Fonda... this could get ugly.

Goldie Hawn smokes like a forest fire, she should be worried.

It's such a bummer that I will not be able to travel like a planned to after my graduation party.

This virus is his reward for being a pedophile.

You don’t want to be in that house if they finally name it Wuhan-Hanks and rightly drop the Wilson.

She’ll put the Cunt back in Cuntry!

Virginia Dick, it does sound better.

We know the DL is safe. Our regulars haven't left the basement for years.

Seriously, stay safe out there. I'm up in the woods, normally, but fate has found me in an infected city visiting a friend and hanging tight with an box of hand sanitizer that's been sitting unused. Waiting until the blackmarket price goes up a bit more before I capitalize.

[quote]They should start thinking now about means of euthanasia.

In a tribute to Hanks and Wilson, patients will be forced to watch Volunteers.

The statement was written by a professional writer. It wasn’t something he wrote. Because Hollywood needs a public face.

The mortality rate is much lower than what is reported because the number infected is much larger. Stop with the hysteria and paranoia.

The mortality rate is much lower than what is reported because the number infected is much larger. Stop with the hysteria and paranoia.

So Chet isn’t Jamaican anymore?

[quote] In a tribute to Hanks and Wilson, patients will be forced to watch Volunteers.

C’mon man! Where’s your heart?

We want to euthanize them, not torture them to death. That’s just cruel.

[quote]Why is a film about Elvis being shot in Australia?

It's being directed by Baz Luhrmann and I'm guessing he demanded it be filmed there.

R227 Don't worry about me Livvie. I'm sure G will be making announcement sometime in the next few days.

R227 Don't worry about me Livvie. I'm sure G will be making announcement sometime in the next few days.

[quote] We’ll keep the world posted and updated.

No, really, we don't need to be updated. We have our own personal issued to deal with. --signed The World

[quote] Sarah Jessica Parker has now tested positive.

Neigh! Neigh!

Damn, it's gone now from bat ---> human ---> horse

It only affects the elderly? Good, I'm safe then, since I was born in 1988

You've entered the golden eldergay years, R246. Enjoy.

Rita Wilson performs? Please tell me she doesn't sing.

R248 She does. Several months back, I think it was last fall I saw her perform on The Today Show. She wasn't awful, but not great.

Can I inherit Chet Hanks?

I want him in me, quite deeply.

Actors travel a lot. More actors will come forward with the virus.

Prediction: The Queen will get it and pass away. Heard it here first. But I hope that she doesn’t. Just seems like 2020 is a terrible year.

RBG better keep her ass in a hazmat suit.

Push her out into the crowds of her Loving Peoples....

With Harry & Meghan having safely left Europe, their chances of succession increase as the BRF drops like the fattened flies they are.

That would be kinda funny if the whole royal family was wiped out and the crown passed to some random third cousin of the queen or something

^ yeah, hilarious!

R255 lol it would be like the movie King Ralph