How Long Can I Pull Off Pretending to Be Straight?

Until you open your mouth and purses fall out.

If you start dating women, you'll be pulling it off alone a lot.

My friend has done it all his life

Who says I can't have sex with a woman R2? It can't be that difficult!

[quote]Who says I can't have sex with a woman R2? It can't be that difficult!

It will be difficult if it isn't hard, if you catch my drift.

You're an asshole, OP.

Huh???

R5 True but can't I just take a blue chew or some shit

R6 My asshole is permanently closed for business.

Ask Jake Gyllenhaal or Hugh Jackman. They've been doing it for a while.

I do enjoy the threads where DLers think that dating women will be a cake walk after dealing with "exhausting" gay men.

Just long enough to kill your wife and newborn.

Depends. At what age did you come out of the closet op?

I don't think I was ever in the closet, R13. My family and friends have known since I was in high school.

Three dates, OP, then your big adventure in pussy will be over. You want exhausting to the point of fucking madness? Deal with the pussy.

Also, stop trolling the DL, you're not that interesting. 1/10

I doubt you made it 5 seconds after hitting Post, OP.

OP calculate your net worth... okay

Now times that amount by three... alright

Now take that figure and make it a negative... that’ll be your new net worth once a woman is done with you

R17, I haven't started yet. I'll report back to the DL when I do.

if you find the right woman, forever dude.

just be honest that you like dick, don't like clam and _____ kids in future. (want/don't want)

as long as people are honest, you might find someone who doesn't care. just set up some ground rules and stick with them.

A lot of men successfully have made this decision. Do what works for ya

That's the plan, R19. I'm not going to lie about it.

Just find a lesbian who wants to live in the closet and have what we used to call a "Lavender" marriage. It's nothing new.

Will you tell the women you're dating that you're gay?

R23 I will tell them that I used to have sex with men. But I plan on having an otherwise normal relationship.

Op, you said gay men are too exhausting to deal with???? I'm a women and let me tell you - you aint seen nothing yet. Women are going to drive you batshit crazy.

LOL at the people who think gay men in general are too exhausting to deal with.

Are you still 'straight', OP?

You need to find God, OP. He shall deliver you from homosexuality!

"I will tell them that I used to have sex with men. But I plan on having an otherwise normal relationship."

Good luck finding any normal woman who wants to be with you.

"I'm a women and let me tell you - you aint seen nothing yet. Women are going to drive you batshit crazy."

If you're a woman you must be one of those anti-feminist, right-wing women. Most of the violence in the world is caused by men. Though usually STRAIGHT men, not the gay ones

r29, Nope your wrong about me. My comment was in reference to dating women who are way more high maintenance then men by far. That this bi-dude or returning to the closet gay guy will not find women any less exhausting than gay men.

Are you one of those lesbians that are humorless?

OP - If you haven't found the right man, what makes you think you'll find the right woman? Have you ever thought you might be the one who is exhausting?

I don't even know him and I find him exhausting already.

R24 then i doubt you're setting yourself up for anything that will last. you will be preying on the person's hopes.

for her, it will be like marrying an addict and hoping they will "change". you both will become bitter and frustrated.

"Are you one of those lesbians that are humorless?"

Are you one of those clueless straight women who troll here?

r34, you answered my question.

No, I don't discriminate. I like to double my dating pool.

This forum is getting filled with homophobes trolls lately.

[quote]you will be preying on the person's hopes.

Ding ding ding!

Thus why OP is an asshole.

Spoken like a true troll, r35

R33 and R37 how is it "preying" if I'm honest from the start about my past?

Aaron Rodgers, welcome to the datalounge!!!

[quote][R33] and [R37] how is it "preying" if I'm honest from the start about my past?

Because, slow-witted one, by your own admission you will only be PRETENDING to be straight. You're a gay man, and you're a fool if you think that can be suppressed forever just because you're currently 'exhausted' by your interactions with other gay men. Assuming you can keep the rainbows from falling out of your mouth long enough to lure in some hopeful woman, you'll fuck her over eventually and go back to dick, probably on the downlow so she won't find out until she comes home from work early or gets some unfortunate test results. Just grow a set and learn to deal without dragging other people into fakery and drama.

OP: NO! I (woman) was married for 30 years . I believe sex was fueled by weed and alcohol but was never that good. Coming from a very fucked up repressed family, he didn’t accept he was gay until much later in life.

My adult children and myself accept him as he is. HOWEVER IT CAUSED ME A TON OF PAIN!!!! You can’t deny who you are OP. You and your girlfriend wife whoever will tire of PRETENDING.

Just accept yourself and fuck off to those who don’t

OP I think it would last about this long:

Well i guess you can lay back and think of England dear.

Gay men who act like women are just as exhausting as women. I'd rather cut my wrists than hang out with either of them. I understand women, I support them but have no real friendships with them. My closest friends are all men, gay, bi or straight. Most women feel the same about men, that's why straight couples spend more time apart in their groups of same sex than together. We're incompatible. I gather only very effeminate gay men can stand women because they see themselves as one.

Gay men who act like women are just as exhausting as women. I'd rather cut my wrists than hang out with either of them. I understand women, I support them but have no real friendships with them. My closest friends are all men, gay, bi or straight. Most women feel the same about men, that's why straight couples spend more time apart in their groups of same sex than together. We're incompatible. I gather only very effeminate gay men can stand women because they see themselves as one.

I'm confident you'll succeed.

I don’t think I would cheat, r41. I’ve been cheated on and I know how shitty that is.

Redefine yourself as queer. You'll be fine.

I suspect this is an EST. If it isn't, then you're a crazy person, OP.

"You're a sad and pathetic man. You're a homosexual and you don't want to be, but there's nothing you can do to change it. Not all the prayers to you god, not all the analysis you can buy in all the years you've go left to live. You may one day be able to know a heterosexual life if you want it desperately enough. If you pursue it with the fervor with which you annihilate. But you'll always be homosexual, as well. Always, Michael. Always. Until the day you die."

You'll pull it off until the first vagina is presented to you for a licking. After you projectile vomit you'll realize what an ill-conceived notion this was.

I hadn't thought of that, R52. I figured I could flub my way through vaginal sex, but oral? I'm going white as a ghost just thinking of that.

You haven't really thought this through [53] have you?

I don't like mens no more! I'm delivert!

All marriages are marriages of convenience. Years ago, a rich friend needed to marry an American citizen for business purposes. Her family was rich but they hated her French boyfriend. If I married her, I would work for her father and live in New York, Miami, Paris, and Costa RIca. The catch- The all consuming Latin, family drama/responsibilities and the eternal lying. If I had wanted to be a father, I might have done it. They were a nice family.

Luckily I came to my senses and instead married a poor immigrant with an all consuming family/drama. But no lying.

A lot of gay guys *are* bloody exhausting... it's just that the degree to which they are exhausting is directly proportional to the extent to which they think and act like women.

[quote]All marriages are marriages of convenience.

That's simply not true.

[quote] Nope your wrong about me.

Oh, dear!

[quote]My comment was in reference to dating women who are way more high maintenance then men by far.

Oh, DEAR!

[quote] My adult children and myself

*eyeroll*

May I play the devil's advocate for a bit?

Despite of all vagina disadvantages very sensitive jerks told you about, OP, I have to warn you: why the hell you're sure that finding a woman is as easy as pie? Are you good-looking or enough weatlhy? I mean once you had a failure with men, you automatically get yourself a woman like snap your fingers? Sorry, but No. And again - no. It will take some doing anyway. And there're many chances you end up alone, so weigh it up.

Good God, you people are actually acting as if the OP's claim is real.

R61, is English your first language?

I know this site is known for snark, but I’m not being snarky. I don’t think it is your first language, yet you did very well.

Believe it or not, some women would welcome a marriage of convenience and friendship, knowing clearly what the rules and expectations are, going in. Don't bring your messes home, on both sides. Separate bedrooms also helps. I've known a few successful marriages like this and they do genuinely love each other. I have a gay friend I'd marry platonically if we needed to, for some reason (if our own happy marriages don't work out).

You gay again?

You should probably pay attention to this new thread, OP:

[R63], No, English's not my first language. And I know poor grammar and spelling can be irritating, so sorry if my text passage's crawling with mistakes.